What literature do you read to cope with the fact that aged 10-21 you were heterosexual and you never had serious...

What literature do you read to cope with the fact that aged 10-21 you were heterosexual and you never had serious experiences with girls at these ages and now you have latent homosexuality and can only find girls "cute" or if you find them arousing its only because you want to look like them but for men?
I wouldn't have all this regret and sadness if I was still heterosexual, I never even cared about my sexuality before and now its gone

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I feel like that's not how sexuality works.

Exactly another reason why this is affecting me so much, its making me doubt my whole reality because I don't understand how I could be straight or bisexual or homosexual
There is too much conflicting information, information that is too coincidental and no one believes me

Even a year ago I was attracted to girls as a male, over time I only began to feel attracted to them in person as a male. Now only 8/10's and above or girls that look excessively cute I can feel attracted to as a male its just I don't understand how my heterosexual attraction can be replaced with homosexuality at 21

If I ever had a gf I would just think about men fucking my ass and I'd probably wear her clothes a lot. The only things I'd ever do with her is treat her like a mother, kneel down in front of her and hug her waist, let her whisper in my ears, when as a teen I wanted to fuck
Its just depressing to me because I can't even remember what its like to want to fuck a woman as much as I used to, I don't want to be a faggot I used to think it was hot girls in videos calling me this and doubting my sexuality because it was already affecting me due to other people. I masturbated constantly as a teen and I never once had homosexual urges.

I consider myself bi and it was probably a result of Yea Forums but I never understood "losing" your straightness as a result. Men and women are very different. How could gaining an interest in one cause you to lose interest in the other?

>How could gaining an interest in one cause you to lose interest in the other?
Because over time I gradually self inserted as the girl in porn, this homosexuality is a act of complete submission for me, a taking of whatever masculinity I had left and however much I could still take myself seriously or have confidence in my identity (always had a weak sense of self), its all gone.
I just want to feminise myself and submit to men, I always got off to femdom but I understood I would never be able to experience it as a long lasting thing and I was fine with it because I wanted to have sex with girls. Now its like I just want to be with men for protection, stability and just to feel used even though I don't feel that visually attracted to them like I do with women.

Now women just seem childlike to me and share a lot of my faggot traits psychologically. I no longer think about girls I passed on the street the rest of the day, they're no longer imprinted on my mind. They just seem as attractive as an aesthetically pleasing plant. If I don't masturbate for a few days I end up feeling more attracted but I still think about being fucked by men whenever I'm half asleep.
All of my fantasies when I'm by myself of girls are just low test things like having them whisper in my ears or lay my head in their lap and sit in a sunny field together. Its pathetic and I don't want to be a faggot
This is worst than getting cancer
Do you know how much regret a person would have if they ended up like this compared to how they were before? I remember feeling infatuated with a girl for 3 years and my heart would ache every time I thought about her

Probably porn addiction.
Or you used femdom as cope with your homosexuality.

user do you feel like putting on a bra, some cute panties, feeling silky pantyhose on your legs.

Getting cute for some Chad, that Will grab you by the waist the fuck you slowly in the asa, while you moan like a girl

cute

This seems like a you problem. I just want to fuck women with hips, breasts, and vaginas.

The way I understand it, one has to have "receptive" sexuality from the start - get off from being an object of desire. Whether one is receptive to "sexual aggression" from women or men is just a "technical detail", though there are obvious pressures to condition oneself for the latter.

Pretty sure with most people it's the reverse, some sexual confusion during adolescence that goes when you hit your 20s

Freud would say that gays want to be raped by mom, straight men want to rape mom.

What if I want to be raped by mom but in a loving penis-in-vagina way?

Have you ever read Freud?

are you me?

Stop watching porn immediately. It's warped your mind. Homosexuality is an acquired paraphilia just like any other but one that got graduated to a special status of "orientation" because it has a political activist lobby pushing it. You're isolated from normal development and so are developing a mental illness, but you can turn the ship around.

Why was homosexuality even more prominent in times before pornography?

Did you have any sexual experiences with men? I think this process is kinda normal, but I would assume that it can reverse as you are getting older and building some self-confidence. You might have a hard time finding men that (you actually want to submit to, and if you ever meet are reeeally cute girl you might enjoy explaining her the world.

>being such an incel that you become a fag

If incels hate women, there is no other option.

stop posting, you can't back that claim up. Only that it was present.

What if you wanted to be a girl when you were 8 really badly for a few months, felt your body in the bath and imagined you had breasts, hand towel for a bra and then forgot about it? Enjoyed crossdressing in your late teens but it never went beyond the clothes so you thought it was a fetish? Doesn't this mean its always been in you?
No. Are you saying that those with homosexual tendencies are more likely to find a female partner if they're extremely attractive but also haven't experienced the world yet? Is it common for these people to "rescue" women and give them everything to pursue this heteronormativity because they romanticise it so much and they could only feel like the man in the relationship if the woman had nothing?

You might have purely obsessional obsessive-compulsive disorder, or “pure o ocd”. Look up HOCD for the one that I think specifically pertains to you.

Yes honey. Wear a dress and bend over.

You need to do more reading.

It certainly wasn't uncommon since in books such as Meditations we have Marcus Aurelius casually talking about how attractive slave boys are.

>still no facts or logic
You need to pee pee poo poo

I dunno maybe. There was also that aristophanese play where people complained it was getting to common. So clearly there are points where it was common and uncommon.

I'd vocaroo myself yawning if you were worth that much effort.

>Why was homosexuality even more prominent in times before pornography?
It wasn't. What was prominent was pederasty, because pedophilia is prominent in (formerly) heterosexual old men (they increasingly value youth; and less and less female validation). This dynamic is somewhat retained with the bear/twink, but modern notion of gayness is far more about people with natural proclivities through development deviation (in womb, or young childhood, and possibly porn in some cases). This is why its not nearly as much as common to "be gay" nowadays like it was in greece.

Don't bother quality posting on my account. If you wanna low effort shitpost and never back up what you believe, go ahead.

A person's brain is in flux for the first quarter of their life. These constantly shifting wirings means that a person's sexuality may go through phases as it settles on its final configuration.

Something similar happened to me that appears inexplicable on the surface, but makes sense once you factor in the volatile nature of the brain in development.

>makes retarded points
>gets torn down
>bro stop shitposting!
Incredible!

Just get gangbanged by men already
You know you want to

But. Did your pp ever get turgid for girls when you were half asleep?

What I was trying to say is that not being sexually active makes you (maybe) more interested in being sexually passive? And I would think that sexuality reflects something else like assertiveness / receptiveness or whatever you want to call it.

Personally, I am heterosexual but I like to imagine sex with men, the thing is that I am generally quite confident about my beliefs and I never met a man I could 'look up to' because I would find fault with them easily. I also did not have sex with a women until last year (23 now), was now in a relationship for some months and I would say it influenced my sexuality. Now I would want to have sex with someone who is is able to understand / appriciate me as much as possible, whereas before I would be more inclined to look for someone (man or woman) that is assertive and 'takes me'.
I think it is likely that you become mor attracted to the receptive character of a women as you realise that not many man are able to hone your own receptive capabilities? Cant really put it into words so well. But I totally know what you mean if you say that you are no longer attracted to the childlike aspect of women, i feel the same. I broke up with my gf because it just turned me off after a while. Now I actually feel like sexuality is not really worth my time, but I guess that will change in the future as I meet more people.

Fake

First of all, fucking a girl is not the solution. If you had fucked a girl you'd still probably be going through this.

Your problem seems to be with self-image, which would also explain why you're trying to find literature about this: so you can identify with a coherent narrative that makes sense of your desires. That's fine, but if it's seriously bothering you it's something you should deal with in therapy. Anons on Yea Forums are just going to reinforce a negative self-image and make you feel hopeless or degenerate, which will prevent you from changing. You find out if your country/state/city has any subsidized therapy programs. Or if you're enrolled at a university they probably have campus mental health services.

Also quitting porn for a few months at least is probably a good idea, just to see if it helps. You don't have to jump on the NoFap train but from what you said it seems like porn plays a significant role in reinforcing your desires, so seeing what happens when you stop exposing yourself to it is worthwhile.

You're probably bisexual, which is fine. You just need to find a way to make sense of it. Therapy is the best way to do that.

I didn't make any of the porn posts. Only that homosexuality was present in ancient times.

This is the mindfuck, I had dozens of wet dreams as a teenager imagining girls grinding on my crotch and I could feel the emissions while I was sleeping and it became really bothersome. All of my romantic dreams were about girls. Whenever I went to sleep I thought about a girl sitting on my lap or resting against me. I barely dream anymore due to lack of sleep but the few dreams that I had which were homosexual were related to past peers who abused me nonsexually. I imagined I was a female version of myself because then they would be nice to me in the nightmares that I had where I'd usually fail physically or psychologically to defend myself.
So idealizing masculinity while already being receptive, plagued by inaction around women and being disillusioned with them after a decade of masturbating to femdom makes you more inclined to see your only value is to submit to men? How do you stop caring so much about your sexuality? It never really influenced my life when I was a heterosexual, now whenever I'm in mental distress I just wish I had transitioned when I first started experiencing these feelings.
Is this why I feel attracted to girls as a male when I'm in person due to my self image?

sounds like you MK ultra'd your self. stop being a fuckin weirdo

this, who the fuck becomes a homo because he doesn't get hetero sex

I'd definitely 2nd this, therapy can be nice

>What if you wanted to be a girl when you were 8 really badly for a few months, felt your body in the bath and imagined you had breasts, hand towel for a bra and then forgot about it? Enjoyed crossdressing in your late teens but it never went beyond the clothes so you thought it was a fetish? Doesn't this mean its always been in you?
Children do all sorts of stupid shit. Most of them piss their pants or listen to dubstep. They're stupid animals. You don't have to be. You're an adult. And a man. Act like it.

>You're an adult. And a man. Act like it.
eugh

And you're a sexist fuckhead

same

just fuck a dude and see if you like it

I was molested by both genders in my youth, feel like that messed me up and at 22 I'm just kinda whatever. I find it kinda cringe to be sexually attracted to anyone. It just seems stupid.

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My condolences user.

I call this "The Yea Forums syndrome"

This. Post results.

Cope. As soon as a nice girl pays you some attention your sexuality will do a 270 and you’ll let her peg you while an alpha (responsible for most, if not all the thrust->penetration movement) is mounted on her.

Beta.