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hey bros last night i posted a story that was so disturbing that it made my gf dump me because it made her want to kill herself
i wasn't able to finish as the thread died before i woke up
but i'm willing to tell the rest of the story if people still care
Previous Thread
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Please do go on OP
k
>after more various misadventures the group gets attacked by raider who "kill" zombie dog and chop her limbs and head of and hang her on hooks like something out of hell raiser or something
>boy and cat are tortured until the last minute the zombie dog who is now a walking undead Cronenberg heap thing that goes around picking off the raiders one by one until she reaches the lead raider
>the leader holds the boy hostage but the cat claws the guy and the boy gets away
>the raider tries shooting the dog to death with a machine gun but the heap of dog and human flash gets closer and bigger
>the flesh on her head is shot clean off leaving just and clean empty skull on her head with no eyes
>then she starts eating legs first and he screams in pain while being bitten and chewed alive going down into her unhinged jaws
your story reads like an anime show
what do you mean?
Your gf is a retard
It feels like there's a series of arcs rather than one story with subplots. It's as if you wrote series 1 then 2, 3, etc.
How does it end, OP?
Can you please just use recuva or something and upload it somewhere I genuinely want to read this bullshit
He deleted the file retard. It no longer exists except as the general plot in his head.
Recuva allows you to recover files if you use it quickly enough. Since deleting on most computers just allows that file to be overwritten rather than destroying the data outright. Assuming this happened to OP recently there's a chance I can read homeward bound goes to hell for myself.
yeah, writing edgy gore porn is one of the things a girl gets the fuck away from as fast as she can. it's right over "favorite movie is fight club" and right under "really, really into serial killer documentaries"
>favorite movie is fight club
>really, really into serial killer documentaries
literally my wife
same. it's fine if women like those things
if guys like those things, they're red flags.
Does yours also have a ridiculous collection of horror films on dvd?
Yeah, but only animal and monster horrors.
next chapter
>the boy now confused and horrified and the abomination tries to get away but his leg is hurt which causes him to limp but trip and fall flat on his face hard
>the dog is confused of were the boy went and starts calling his name in a creepy motherly tone since she has no eyes and has just a skull
"OH [AAAAANNNNOOONNNNN!!!!!], WHERE ARE YOU!!!!????
(i don't have any names for the characters so i'm just calling the boy user for now)
>"please don run away, it's much safer with me than out there"
>boy hides from monster dog but dog can smell him in his hiding place with both face to skull
>"don't you recognize me [user]?, it's me [dogs name] don't you remember an old friend when you see one. I've waited and waited so long to see you again and i've come back for you"
>dog licks boy's horrified face as it is just a monster tongue coming out of a dark empty dog skull
>the cat comments that she shouldn't have scared the boy like that but the dog doesn’t belive the cat and they go on their merry way
there is still more btw
I admit, I have lost understanding of the dog's motivation at this point.
At this point the cat is still my favourite.
The dog just wants to protect the boy, I think that's about it.
why?
i'm back
>more time passes and zombie dog has overtime begun to lose her sanity and become more of a monster and is now killing also killing for the sake of killing to become more powerful
>dog has also been sidetracking the boy and cat away from civilization so she can stay with them forever and the "journey" to never end
>boy and cat have had it with the dogs shit and try devising a plan to kill her
(some of the human talking powers of the zombie dog rubbed off onto the cat giving him the power to talk to humans as well)
>the cat is the only one who can go around freely without the zombie dog watching him
>this allows him to do research on the undead and occult and other shit
>it's revealed that she is a Revenant and the only way to kill her is to chop her limbs and head off, bury her and preform a second funeral so her spirit to finally rest
>they start to hatch a plan in secret
>while the dog is sleeping the boy is ready to chop his dog's head off until he gets emotional and nostalgic for his childhood and family and back when his dog was alive and then the memory of the dog dying and how he's gonna lose his dog again
>the dog starts waking up confused what's going on
>then the kid starts hacking away at his beloved dog
>the dog cries in agony and howls and whimpers
>starts asking why hes doing this and to please stop it
>the kid keeps chopping away and telling her to just shut the fuck up already and die
>the dog finally does quite
>they take the "remains" to the woods and bury it in a grave
>the body bag starts shaking and making noises as the dog is regenerating and coming back to life so they hurry to bury the dam thing
>the grave starts screaming and howling and shit even when the dog has been buried deep under ground
>they start preforming the service and pray for her soul and exorcise the dog
>general spooky shit like lighting, thunder, rain storm, harsh winds, and the ground starts to bleed as the life force starts to leave the dog
>the exorcism finishes and the boy and cat pay their final respects to the dog but the cat has lost his supernatural powers so he can no longer talk
Epilogue
>turns out the whole story was just a flashback from the cat's perspective who is now a really old fucker now
(insert based boomer cat memes here)
>the cat talks about how the boy grew up and became a farmer who grew crops for the local survivors settlement
>the cat knows his time on earth is short so he decieds to make the long journey back to his zombie dog mom's grave to be with her one last time
>he gets there and the grave is buried under vines and moss and other plant/forest shit
>he digs up the grave and uncovers her skull and lays on it like a cat
>the cat finally lets go of his last bit of breath
>the dirt around starts to rebury the zombie dog along with the cat's dead body leaving the mother and son the rest in peace together
the end
so how was it?
>how was it?
It's real good user. Please try to recover the manuscript.
I don't reckon don't name any of the characters. They can be the Boy, the Dog, and the Cat/Kitten, just how you've them here.
I like how the Cat turns out to be the narrator, you probably did but it'll have to be clear that the early part of the story where the cat is not there was related to him by the dog and possibly the boy later.
I really want to read the manuscript so I can give some feedback, constructive criticism or whatever, if you want that.
I agree, either rewrite it or use some software to recover the manuscript. It genuinely seems like a good story.
i'm sorry to say this but the truth is it's all been
there is no manuscript and i've never had a gf. this Yea Forums post of story beats is the entire story that exists. i've never had the motivation to actually write this story down so i'm just posting it on Yea Forums i have nobody to tell this story to
and i feel my friends would be too biased and just say it's nice just because we are friends and the people i want to tell my story to don't wanna hear my ideas
like my brother who always tells me to shut the fuck up about my shitty stories until i write the whole thing down and finalize. Even though he always blabs on and on about his shitty communist anime weeb shit that when asked about a simple summary of what it's about he goes into an hour long introduction that goes on and on long before the actual gets to the point to what his anime is about that your brain melted
i came to Yea Forums became you people are more honest and critical and will actual respond to what you think about my story plus Yea Forums is fun to post stuff
i'd like to turn this story into a screenplay and maybe if i can finish getting a degree in filmmaking or something i could shop it around film studios in Canada because i'm a FUCKING LEAF
would this story make a good movie?
I fucking knew it since you started this bitch. In my honest opinion? It's cliched. You mentioned how your "gf broke up with you because it's disturbing" so after the first part which seemed like a kids story (or a Family Guy episode, you tell which is worse) you felt you had to make it more disturbing because people were shitting on you so you added random gore and other unnecessary bullshit. I didn't like it, but that doesn't mean that it can't be good. Ok, maybe it can't, but if you want to make a story genuinely disturbing and scary read some psychological horror. If you have some other general ideas in mind write them down or post them here, expand on them when you have the time and creativity. Don't force the story to somewhat meet the expected.
no the story was always non-family friendly
The misadventures of a dog and a cat?
Don't need to be sorry but you didn't have to lie. I think it'd make, as it is now, a graphic novel or possibly an animated film.
I'm this guy and the offer still stands if you can finish it.
Also, don't worry about whether people like it or not, it's your story so you tell it.
>some of the human talking powers of the zombie dog rubbed off onto the cat giving him the power to talk to humans as well
ok now that's just retarded
It requires better explanation or reason sure, but post-apocalyptic talking animals is a thing
Igenuinely thought it was pretty retarded and very bad, sorry user.
I unironically love it and want to read the actual thing.
this is like something an 11 year old would come up with. do better
Yeah I was pretty sure that was the case but on the off chance you weren't lying I wanted to see the damn original draft.
Honestly, it's holey. But you won't patch that stuff up until you actually write it down.