New* and improved* BurgerPunk(tm) thread

Last one hit bump

The mcstory so far

docs.google.com/document/d/1NEaYAmDMHSmEDzB96Etxe52DAA61rjmBQVfSno_akgk/edit

*Product might not be new and improved
*while stocks last

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Other urls found in this thread:

docs.google.com/document/d/1kfM_h_eUJYWOWn1JlR4C2VSHWc59uWlAQlsyF5sur9k/edit
youtube.com/watch?v=ruNrdmjcNTc
youtube.com/watch?v=jBsPZV14I-k
archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/108377518/#108382498
archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/108377518/#q108383236
youtube.com/watch?v=4005-wuPSkE
docs.google.com/document/d/1kfM_h_eUJYWOWn1JlR4C2VSHWc59uWlAQlsyF5sur9k
docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRXZwrCsdFYpQyNEAFMHBDQmSeJZb-p9wMmgA-kWZ2daXLr-i7YI7gJOvTczrzsjGMzCbWeTAIAH9o_/pub
a.uguu.se/yVlNda8CbVva_burgerpunk.pdf
youtube.com/watch?v=FNKPYhXmzoE
youtu.be/GDFaEBjA7PU
archive.org/details/attentionkmartshoppers
youtu.be/WURmHAk4gCE
terminal-boredom.com/forums/index.php?topic=17037.0
youtube.com/watch?v=I3iuxN2IpxI
nytimes.com/2019/04/06/style/hot-topic-stores.html
amazon.com/High-Cost-Free-Parking-Updated/dp/193236496X
amazon.com/Order-without-Design-Markets-Cities/dp/0262038765
amazon.com/Zoning-Rules-Economics-Land-Regulation/dp/155844288X
strongtowns.org/journal/2018/7/27/a-strong-towns-crash-course
andrewalexanderprice.com/blog20131204.php
granolashotgun.com/2016/08/31/a-thousand-hidden-subsidies/
techcrunch.com/2014/04/14/sf-housing/
cityobservatory.org/the-immaculate-conception-theory-of-your-neighborhoods-origins/
youtube.com/watch?v=TcmzF8zn5FE
youtube.com/watch?v=5aNtsWvNYKE&feature=youtu.be
youtube.com/watch?v=F6jFnOnjzrk
youtube.com/watch?v=kI7HhZc-h_M&list=PL081769910C63DB75
twitter.com/wrathofgnon/status/883181352933236736
twitter.com/devonzuegel/status/1060381939058728963
twitter.com/380kmh
papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3345366
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>nightcall

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Do we have an official burgerpunk reading list yet?

New link

docs.google.com/document/d/1kfM_h_eUJYWOWn1JlR4C2VSHWc59uWlAQlsyF5sur9k/edit

Whippin down the highway to joan jet, yeah oh theres traffic. Ahaha woah

How's the forward read?

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hell yeah

>tfw I just found out about this thread after finishing my overnight shift at mcwagies

nope

Cruising down the interstate, I'm lulled into a sort of road-hypnosis borne of the endless primary colors whizzing by, logos and adverts and mascots all done up in sun-bleached plastic, supported on beams of steel that they might rise high enough over the coursing rivers of traffic as to bee seen by all passers by.
There's a comfort in it, these endless signs of civilization, of industrialization, of humanity. There's also a slight doubt in the back of my mind as to whether it's good that I find comfort in it. I sip flat, tepid Diet Coke from my Big Gulp and try to put the doubt out of mind; I've needed to stop for a bathroom for an hour and a half, but in that time I haven't seen a single interstate exit, or any sign indicating one's presence. If need be I'll dump the once-carbonated, 4-methylimidazole-dyed contents of my Big Gulp out the window and relieve myself trucker style. I'm not too worried about it. I roll my windows down to let in the humid breeze and crank up the radio, catching the last few mournful strains of Billy Ray lamenting his achy breaky heart's inability to comprehend a failed relationship.
My check engine light his been on for the past 600 miles of my journey; I'm not too worried about it.

>>tfw I just found out about this thread after finishing my overnight shift at mcwagies

Share YOUR story in OUR story.

>Do we have an official burgerpunk reading list yet?

Dave Thomas books.

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Your post is self-evidently retarded because you're assuming that you have a better perspective on a culture than the people who actually live and witness it everyday. But it's actually a good opportunity for us to define what Burgerpunk is not.

So far as I can tell, you interpret Burgerpunk as just a very stale and lazy anti-Americanism popular with European and second world incels online. The semantic equivalent of a casual slur like "eurotrash". This is totally wrong. Burgerpunk isn't simply revulsion to a collapsing culture, it's recognizing the terror and petty joys of being trapped within it. "Ironically" (i.e. not ironically) you are now demonstrating in detail how you lack the American mentality to process burgerpunk. To you it looks like Americans pointing out stupid and gross things about themselves. For Americans, it's an affirmation of Americanness at the same time it's a harsh criticism. Being unable to distinguish between the onion rings at Burger King and the onion rings at Wendy's outs you as a total collarboy who lacks the cognitive aptitude to understand burgerpunk. Burgerpunk is totally beyond snobbish faggots; it's broken people making sense of a broken scavenger society because they have no snobbish fag alternative to compare it too.

It's not a romanticization in the slightest. It's a critical and realistic look at the way we live that allows for nuanced understanding and mockery alike. A romanticization would be pretending that your identity holds a living and healthy high culture untouched by market forces and globalization, when in reality there hasn't been truly successful and vibrant Western high culture for more than a century. Burgerpunk is a total rejection of your delusional and romantic self-mythology. Burgerpunk is a reluctant, hateful embrace of mediocrity and decline. Burgerpunk is the only sincere and worthwhile reaction to a decadent civilization: survivalism.

youtube.com/watch?v=ruNrdmjcNTc

The most burger thing you can do is not read

Lmao shut the fuck up burger you live in a shithole the only things Americans can process is all their food

The two burgerpunk buns represent the two opposing factions of white America. One of these buns has sesame seeds. Occasionally you will see a stray seed on bottom bun. You’re trying to pretend that you’re supposed to be there on the bottom bun, Bill Kristol, but you don’t belong there and you never will.

Thread sound track youtube.com/watch?v=jBsPZV14I-k

Confused vassal

As much as I love the Buffmeister, his music has a distinct feel of seeking out American trappings and comfort when placed in situations outside of one's usual comfort zone.
A burgerpunker wouldn't seek out a cheeseburger in paradise, they'd simply drive to McDonald's from home on their staycation; leaving the country is for rich people with more time and money, you see. Taking a four-day weekend to sit around the house and watch TV is the burgerpunker's paradise.

Idk man burgers going to some all inclusive is pretty bpunk

Fine

>burgerpunk
Searching for this term I cannot find anything that directly refrences the term the way Yea Forums means it.
Did Yea Forums unironically create something original?

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What are some burgerpunk movies?

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I think an important trope of burgerpunk is the fact that what's being marketed is something different than the actual.
This constant disconnect between what's being promised and what the reality actually is. The people living in a burgerpunk have become comfortably numb to this fact and their brains unconsciously see the world through this fabricated marketing reality instead of the reality that's before their eyes.

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Nightcrawler

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When McDonald's resides in the Yellow and Red House (formerly White) and graduates from Hamburger University are the elite ruling class ...

That's very level one though. Burgerpunk is acknowledging the disconnect between the ad fantasies and reality, and then choosing the ad fantasy anyway

After looks much better. Before looks like some soulless chinese city.

I feel like Burial is essential burgerpunk music.

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Idiocracy

unironically an excellent movie about it

Tescopunk

Oops, I mis-clicked the indent thing and the who doc's indent changed

ctrl+z

'In McDonalds' is a literal track

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ta

Hamtelligentsia

>reminder

Burgerpunk has been described as the aesthetic reconciliation of the post-modernist individual recognizing the cognitive dissonance between the vast nature of corporate service-based globalization and the individualist nature of consumption forced upon them by the very nature and propaganda of their capitalist benefactors. The genre's backdrop explores the conflict between traditional american sensibilities inflated to a caricature by exaggerated use of freeway systems, suburban growth, and franchise based food products against the cynical nature of the average american blooming into a genuine need for individualized and personalized culture after slowly exchanging their ancestor's cultural heritage for their own force-fed culture of ease of access and frugality. Issues of hopelessness, automation, and complacency contrast the information provided through constant access to media and propagandized geopolitical news. The genre itself, becoming a meta commentary on other fantasy or science fiction based genres by using the actual occurring landscape as the basis for escape.

Silly, generic anti Americanism by confused pampered college kids who won't survive thirty minutes in a third world country. Off with the lot of you.

>now our Happy Meal cardboard can be folded into a VR headset for your phone.

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That's not what it was three threads ago, just what it's turned into over the past 48 hours.

Idiocracy is funny but a little too smug and self-satisfied for burgerpunk IMO. It presents Luke Wilson's character as immune to the idiocy, which misses the true despair and horror of American life. Burgerpunk would be Mike Judge writing Idiocracy, and then immediately purchasing a six-pack of 24 oz Lemon-Lime Gatorades

One might argue that luke wilsons character represents an outsider looking in confused by the aesthetic and practices of a world consumed by consumerism

How long till we get a knowyourmeme page lads?

But they already survive in a third world country by living in the usa

Try to live your life as though one distant day, your descendants will develop time-travel and cloning skills, and come back to resurrect everyone that ever lived who wasn't a jerk or a creep. Maybe at the end, when your whole life passes before your eyes, it's a high-speed data dump. Endeavor to see that it makes you seem worth the trouble of reviving. Try to be the kind of guest they'll want at The Last Great, Never-Ending Party At The End Of Time. It could happen, right? Do you know of a better shot at immortality?

Harry looked at the man and said: "Hamburgers."

On my phone so I can't put together a decent looking chart, but we need to nail down a reading list.
My opening suggestions:
The Pale King
Less Than Zero
The Crying of Lot 49
A Confederacy of Dunces
Snow Crash

I agree with that, but for me burgerpunk is very Lovecraftian in that even and especially its outsider figures are forced to come to terms with their own corruption and linkage to that which repulses and fascinates them. The idea that there exists a truly pure and uncorrupted outsider ignores the doom of American life

For example, the conclusion of the Shadow Over Innsmouth is deeply burgerpunk. The narrative is essentially an outsider describing the ugly and revolting practices of an alien-human mulatto species while also trying to escape them--but ends with the narrator learning that his genetic being is derived from this same disgusting material he has spent the entirety of the narrative dodging. What's more is that he is degenerating into the same condition as his pursuers and, to his horror and disgust, is rapidly assimilating to their way of life against his will

The narrator's inescapable, inevitable doom is what burgerpunk means to me. Giggling from the outside is too cheap and easy and played out

Holy shit it’s lasted to a fourth thread

I think anons got tired of people fighting about what burgerpunk is and exercised their democratic freedoms in determining their vision in a google doc.


Burgerpunk is different for everyone.
>have it your way

>Holy shit it’s lasted to a fourth thread

Previous thread
Got links to the other two?

Its already a thing connected to dirty realism

...

What?
All of everyone is gay.

We literally edited the Wikipedia article yesterday. It’s whatever the fuck we want it to be.

>Does it involve burgers
Yes
>Is it punk
Yes

Thus, Burgerpunk

Yeehaw pardner

Is mallsoft post-burgerpunk

This is excessive, but the spirit behind it is burgerpunk

>Burgerpunk is different for everyone.
just like a utopia...

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Who makes the best iced coffee and which will make me look most bpunk if caught sippin'?

All of the forks of the self-titled BURGERPUNK document will make for delicious reading.

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Holy fuck. That is actually so good. The prologue had me in stitches. This could become a new genre. Sell it on amazon and let the system destroy itself.

Starbucks for anything not black coffee. The D’s for black coffee.

Ta is English for thanks.

I like that some of it tries to be gritty realism about the crushing weight of the world while other parts it seems almost a parody of cyberpunk, like, here’s what the future and corporate dominance actually brought, it’s boring, and even further still it seems some are reliving nostalgia of a pre-internet capitalism.

Yes, most foreign tourist hubs are simply outposts of burgerpunkland.

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> tfw people still can't differentiate between Burgerpunk and typical yank dystopia and anticapitalist thought

Here's a clue for you, American antiamericans and commies still suffer from the burger gravy, there's literally no escaping it. Burgerpunk has tainted Americans with original sin.

Antiamericanism is Donald Glovers "This is America", Burgerpunk is Rammsteins "Amerika". While the former is more critical as a glance, the second is far more in-depth about the horrors of the Burger gristle. American commies are Americans first and foremost, and they'll never be anything else. THAT is burgerpunk.

I love your post but what does toby keith have to do with burger punk? There's no hint of reluctance his embrace of American (military not cultural) imperialism in that song?

It is yes, but the irony is that it watcher feel like they are superior to the consumerism that enslaves them the main character not only uses his (whats portrayed as) "profound" basic competency to thrive and make a nation saving difference while still feeding the cycle of consumerist both in the narritive itself and as a product

Sound familiar? (pic related)

Not that im in anyway against people helping charities but its naive to think they didint get a profit boost from the good exposure.

The narrative extends to the watcher.

But we both have different views i guess.

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Grubbin through the tesco meal deal isle, lookin for my every day blt sandwhich. Spot the last one had to stretch past a pretty lady stocking up extra Monster Munch crisps. Whilst im close to her i pick up a packet, roast beef not pickled onion, wouldnt want my breath to kick back in the office. She gives me a glare whilst furiously demolishing the cardboard box empty of monster munch , now moving onto skips - mmm should of gone for the skips. grab a smartwater hoping she notices my patrician taste. too busy skipping. Ow no I should've kept my receipts.'Cause the sandwich I bought it's been off for a week.
And Tesco's stealing my money. hope shes there tomorrow

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TV Guide.

Yea Forums invented it yesterday then reposted it here.

>Yea Forums invented it yesterday then reposted it here.

Link to that Yea Forums post

Burgerpunk has nothing to do with literal burger places you surface feeders.
It's using burger in the sense of an internet name for americans.

No, I've heard Yea Forums did.

Is having a throwdown in a Taco Bell's parking lot at 1 A.M. burgerpunk?

Can someone add a chapter where the McDonalds corp changes the constitution to “these unalienable rights, life, liberty and the pursuit of Happy Meals™”

Wrong, this is the post that started it 3 days ago, they stole it from here.

>all these ham fisted mcdonalds references
No you retards
How can you get it so wrong

Evan Dara is burgerpunk, specifically the lost scrapbook

That's just inner city life in America

This goes back way deeper than anyone realised
archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/108377518/#108382498

>>all these ham fisted mcdonalds references
>No you retards
>How can you get it so wrong

Jump in an contribute to the document.

The story begins with McDonald's Corporation becoming President of the USA.

archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/108377518/#q108383236
the messiah

The americans got hold of it and they don't know how to do anything right okr understand it

huh, I guess Yea Forums made the word and Yea Forums fleshed it out.

And that user found the image with the tag burgerpunk from a subreddit about urbanhell.

Burgerpunk isn't fantasy or alternate history. It's thoroughly grounded.
Cancel your fail document.

The God Emperor of BurgerWorld listens to prayers 24 hours a day.

>Burgerpunk is what I say it is

Problem isn't the McDonalds bit which is non-necessary but cute. Problem is that immediately after that it gets loaded with meme posting, reddit-baiting etc. no different from the previous, shittier attempts at a Yea Forums book.

Goddamn you can smell the burger on this poster because of how smug it is in its stupidity

Really once again the burgers invade and ruin yet another interesting thing

This is worse than Yea Forums writing a letter to Gabe Newell one post at a time.

How long until burgerpunk takes over Europe?

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The process of refining and editing will polish the turd.

This is called bold and brash burger punk.

It already has, it is jsut not as dominant as it is in the US.
It is prevelent near everywhere in the world really.
East Asians especially obsess over it.

No shit retarded. You think people take Burgerpunk seriously?

I t...take it seriously

140 pages of collaborative fiction writing

BURGERPUNK needs you

People take anything they put creative effort into seriously.

America is just the centre of the globohomo mega complex, the wellspring of the burger but make no mistake; burgerpunk is a global phenomenon. All nations and institutions are already vassals of the global corporate infrastructure and the only change that time will bring is the degree to which this is evident on the surface

Lmao they sound like fags
and they're shits all retarded

Holy fuck so the wikipedia shit was by Yea Forums?

Check the footnotes on the Wikipedia article.

would Slacker count as crypto-burgerpunk?

Crypto-burgerpunk yes, but it is extremely different from cybergerpunk. Different sub genres.

Is the Silk Road burger punk? Kinda should be if it's not. Alot of this genre seems about powerless, decrepitude, aimlessness, a state of neo-barbarity but furnished with tasty food.

Paris, Texas

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Lauren Bousfield is burgerpunk
Disney is burgerpunk

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Someone should send this to an academic journal or ui paper

burgerpunk is the transitional stage between modernity consumer society and the eventual cyberpunk world that never fully arrived. massive hacking operations, corporations with larger outreach and intel than secret services, a complete commodification of culture and all human interactions, teen depression as an aesthetic, never ending cycle of nostalgia and pastiche as the current zeitgeist, incalculable inequalities, impending doom through climate change, etc. but devoid of a tangible form of protest or escape

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>Someone should send this to an academic journal or ui paper

Let Yea Forums edit the document first.

Something else that comes to mind from burgerpunk is this long and excellent documentary about Edward Bernays, the prototypical American advertising consultant.
youtube.com/watch?v=4005-wuPSkE

>old media
Imageboards are the new journals.

everything you just typed can be said of you

Come on im being serious

This shit is making me want to just binge on Mcdoubles and watch all the Robocops.

>Robocop
Holy crap I completely overlooked this burgerpunk kino.

Would Gummo be considered burgerpunk?

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I’m gonna watch predator and every time someone dies I’ll dip a Wendy’s fry into my chocolate shake.

>Come on im being serious

Give us a few more days to finish the story, man.

>Gummo
that's pastapunk, man.

Some Linklater. Suburbia especially.
This Slacker-like called Floundering.
Repo Man or They Live maybe?
I think Southland Tales could be considered as a cyburgerpunk hybrid.

docs.google.com/document/d/1kfM_h_eUJYWOWn1JlR4C2VSHWc59uWlAQlsyF5sur9k

Jump in and finish chapter 10, user.

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Is this image burgerpunk?

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If not then maybe Springbreakers?

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Fantastic movie, but it's looking at "burgerpunk" from the outside in. As I understand young autists here, burgerpunk implies an embedded ambivalence. So from within.

No, that’s post-burger punk.

definitely, Wenders called it "his love letter to America".

cyberpunk

yup absolutely. no high

Spring Breakers are the bane of the incel NEET! This pink haired THOTs are flush with cash and don't even deserve it.

They could buy their own fast food franchise while the neet struggles for loose change to buy a burger from the dollar menu.

Florida Project

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Is burgerpunk the ultimate goal of faustian men?
The last ditch of productionist metaphysics, the final resting place of humanity, between the soft, tasty buns of capital?

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yup definitely, from the neon-washed highways to the gaudy decor

Could someone explain how The Wendy's Company® fits into the BurgerPunk™ narrative?

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Is Learning from Las Vegas by Robert Venturi burgerpunk ?
Also didn't this aesthetic first emerge in the 60's or the 70's ?

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Gotta get through the entire trilogy and listen to JRE, simultaneously.

Tha'ts a godly move right there.

Burgerpunk: our parents promised us Cyberia, and this is what we got.

I remember writing a footnote in a stimulant haze about Wendy. I can’t remember what it was. Something about onaholes.

Mid90s

This is a book that only a small portion of the population can even read. Which makes it frustratingly niche.

I love it so far.

>Give us a few more days to finish the story, man.

I havent seen the doc but is it a coherent story or just ramblings from random people?

Cross-Pollinating ideas

check it out, contribute

docs.google.com/document/d/1kfM_h_eUJYWOWn1JlR4C2VSHWc59uWlAQlsyF5sur9k

quintessential burgerpunk. venturi was an idiot to think that the nightmare hellscape of Vegas had valuable attributes for social organisation, but he predicted the rise of burgerpunk decades in advance

>Could someone explain how The Wendy's Company® fits into the BurgerPunk™ narrative?

Sex Sells

Everyone wants to be a young red head!

>For the past two and a half years, I have been writing about people leaving the Bay Area. In the fall, I am leaving myself.
>It's hard for me to not frame my upcoming move within some sort of narrative, with myself as the protagonist and the city I'm leaving and entering as characters. This is actually what I've been doing for a good 30 months or so at SFGATE, where I've served as the de facto "Bay Area migration" reporter, chronicling the stories of former Bay Area residents who left the region.
>The first draft of this story was an elegy to my time in San Francisco; I referred to the city as a "mischievous friend" and wielded the words "tired" and "bitter" at least three times — each. But if you've lived here long enough, you've already read this narrative, and probably too many times. Paeans about leaving San Francisco are nearly as prolific as the smashed car windows around this town.
>Writing "grass is greener" stories, as we call them at SFGATE, poses an impressive challenge. How can one characterize a city — and all the reasons one might want to move in or move out — in roughly 1,000 words? It's like writing a celebrity profile, but with thousands of subjects, all of whom take your coverage very personally, and some of whom are very excited to send you a threatening email detailing how badly you mucked up the entire enterprise.
>"Just finished your piece. You got stuck on the superficial," a reader recently emailed me. "The South is so much more than you made it out to be."
>You win some, you lose some.
>The question of writing about a city is really a linguistics issue. Though Dictionary.com defines "city" as a large town (useful), when I use "city," I mean the dozens of attributes that distinguish this place from others: population size and demographics, the food scene, entertainment options, walkability, etc. What gives cities distinction is obviously not solely their spot on a map, but all the qualities contained within its boundaries.
>These qualities change constantly — changes that are spurred by events both minor and major: a beloved restaurant closing, a mayoral election, the construction of a giant hi-rise. >People moving in and out changes a city, too.
>Because of their mercurial natures, lifestyle pieces about cities are difficult to write about. Maybe that's why I'm having such trouble summarizing my time in the Bay Area for this farewell story. The region, and the people within it, have entirely shaped who I am.
>Rather than digging up the San Franciscan skeletons in my closet, I decided I'd rather re-read the 30-odd stories (and one video) I wrote for SFGATE about the Bay Area "exodus." >Looking back at these stories, I hoped I might prepare myself for my own move, and perhaps reflect on everything I've learned in my time here.

>Since 2017, I've profiled Bay Area ex-pats in dozens of locations: Portland, Seattle, Sacramento, an Oregon commune, California Gold Country, Phoenix, Tahoe, Bakersfield, Texas and even Canada. I've probably cited the U.S. Census and Zillow a thousand times. On slow days, I wrote about people who didn't want to leave the Bay Area, and were doing everything in their power to stay (super commuting, #VanLife, squatting).
>People told me they missed the Bay Area's weather, its quirkiness, its multiculturalism. They longed for the ocean, the museums, the nude-y Castro fairs. What they didn't miss was often the same three things: the cost of living, the traffic, and the techiness (even if they, themselves, worked in tech). Some left by choice, others did not.
>Subjects sometimes treated our interviews as therapy sessions. They talked about how much they regretted moving away from their children, the troubles they had "fitting in" with the new neighborhood, the time they wasted trying to make it work in the Bay Area. But nobody, in all my 30-or-so stories, could definitively answer the question: Is the grass really greener outside the Bay Area?
>The closest I got to answering this inquiry myself was in a recent story about Bakersfield, which very well may be my final dispatch on the Bay Area exodus:
>"Choosing a city of residence depends on balancing a series of factors: cost of living, job availability, proximity to family, opportunities for entertainment and debauchery, and so on. It's a matter of the city-shopper in-question deciding which attributes are important to her, and then choosing a home base that aligns with that vision."

You could probably take it back to the 50s really. The golden age of burger. All the same aesthetics but none of the anhedonia. That's part of burgerpunk, 21st century software stuck running on 20th infrastructure.

what about happiness?

WHO THE FUCK DELETED THE GOOGLE DOC?

Is it just me, or did 100 pages disappear?

Use your version and restore the doc

Someone deleted the document contents.

We have backups saved.

>Use your version and restore the doc

Best way to restore?

Yeah, a lot went. Fifty odd pages came back, but there's an extra hundred or so we're waiting on. Will be hard to know for sure who has the most up to date version unless anons post their backup date in the doc itself.

I wasn't participating, I was spectating and just reading over it. I love it; would purchase. I'm envious of the anons who can unabashedly just pour content out. I have a tendency to hold back too much.

Here's my published backup.

docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRXZwrCsdFYpQyNEAFMHBDQmSeJZb-p9wMmgA-kWZ2daXLr-i7YI7gJOvTczrzsjGMzCbWeTAIAH9o_/pub

Forking is okay!

The best chapters can be adopted into a polished version.

I have a PDF version from 1 hour ago. My clock reads 11:29 and the version was last modified at 10:25.
a.uguu.se/yVlNda8CbVva_burgerpunk.pdf

A winner? Feel free to tack the section after the break on to the main doc in the absence of a challenger.

We got it restored.

I have taken the blackpill

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TAKE THE BURGERPILL

Many third world countries are safer than half the US states. Also, affordable healthcare.

youtube.com/watch?v=FNKPYhXmzoE

The book puts forward a capitalist peace theory, first published as an opinion piece in The New York Times in December 1996, called the Golden Arches Theory of Conflict Prevention; although slightly tongue-in-cheek[1], it states:

No two countries that both had McDonald's had fought a war against each other since each got its McDonald's.[2]

He supported that observation, as a theory, by stating that when a country has reached an economic development where it has a middle class strong enough to support a McDonald's network, it would become a "McDonald's country", and will not be interested in fighting wars anymore.

Friedman's point is that due to globalization, countries that have made strong economic ties with one another have too much to lose to ever go to war with one another. Regardless of whether the statement is true, the conclusions to be drawn are unclear. The global expansion of McDonald's restaurants is a relatively recent phenomenon when put into the context of the history of warfare, and, with a few notable exceptions, has proceeded into relatively stable markets.

Not sure about Europe but because of the trade ways it's creeping into my comfy Southern Cone.

Fucking pickup trucks everywhere.

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this whole meme is literally just pic related

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Is a first generation immigrant yelling in a thick accent at a random white dude "The civil war as already been fought and WE won" burgerpunk?

Anyway people a concentrating a bit to much on corporate power and it looks to me more like a blob of power like what Moldbug describes.
The US is the only place where you'll be told that anyone can be an American and that American culture does not truly exist all the while being told that political culture Y and Corporate culture X is what American culture should be actually be like.

It's not about Toby Keith's own personal views per se, it's about the embrace of Toby Keith's paint-huffing idiocy and catchy, market-tested melody. The reluctance is entirely on my part as a self-conscious American who grew up during the Iraq war listening to ClearChannel corporate rock like Green Day rather than ClearChannel corporate country like Toby Keith. It's knowing how stupid and dangerous and destructive Toby Keith's ideas are, watching not only their spread but also their catastrophic consequences, remembering the backlash, the post-Obama amnesia, and then, from under the decades of rubble, rediscovering and regurgitating and even loving the half-forgotten stupidity and evil of 2003 as itself an eternal statement of American failure and crude Americanness.

ergo, burgerpunk

Read America by Baudrillard

never heard of this; what is it roughly about?

Mine wasn't just like this but my kindergarten class practiced ABC's on a similar corporate ABC chart

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Probably a whole bunch of Kevin Smith movies. Clerks, Mallrats, all those ones.

Absolutely, most accurate portrayal of American life besides Slacker.

youtu.be/GDFaEBjA7PU

I want a list of the best retro scifi films, some BP music, etc. to write some Burgerpunk to.
So far, I plan to watch the Robocop trilogy, maybe Lawnmower man; anything else? That one 90's dystopian flick with Keanu Reeves and the Chinese governmental take over seems aesthetically suitable for the subgenre. I just can't remember the name....
Also, the wiki page is great.

1950s was the birth of the burger age. The irony is the beatniks and hippies rallied against consumerism and looked where it got us. I sometimes wonder if consumerism were considerably lower than it is now if American made goods would return since people would be okay with living with less but in exchange for the wholesomeness of the community.

I recommend The Master. I interpret it as a man struggling to find his way in the beginnings of a new America. Could be pre bugerpunk.

archive.org/details/attentionkmartshoppers

For anyone that doesn’t bother clicking, it’s all the old tapes they would play at Kmart of soft rock elevator music with occasional messages about Martha Stuart and cleaning products

Thanks, I like your style.

>I sometimes wonder if consumerism were considerably lower than it is now if American made goods would return since people would be okay with living with less but in exchange for the wholesomeness of the community.
Third-world production whether it be through off-shoring production or importing immigrant laborers will pretty much always (or for the foreseeable future) be significantly more profitable than American made products.
For a return of American products Americans wouldn't just have to stop deriving their happiness from the things they buy but they'd also need to put significantly more value into the idea of buying a product from their community. Not like the "Made in America" stickers that are pretty much a extra bit rather than an actual buying factor, if you have two identical products one made in America, one in China but the Chinese one is $15 cheaper it's an easy choice for the vast majority of people, American made isn't worth a lot of money to most people.
The market itself ensures the decline of American production. Simply getting rid of consumerism would just shift what Americans are willing to buy. If third-world labor still outperforms Americans in profit on those new products it changes nothing.

youtu.be/WURmHAk4gCE

Is there any way to bring domestic goods back in the country, including family farms? I honestly thought Trump was going to accomplish this. I was that ignorant of the political mainframe that I thought we could have the small town communities back ala pre 1960s.

>I was that ignorant
Don't feel bad. We all get duped by this bullshit, occasionally.

Pic related is the greeks of burgerpunk

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>affordable healthcare.
American have the best healthcare in the world and I say that as an European who have to pay up to 35% of all my incomes to pay the healthcare of beggars and immigrants

is CITY ROCK just musical burgerpunk?
terminal-boredom.com/forums/index.php?topic=17037.0

Not really, case law shows us that a corporation must act in the best interests of its share holders, which equates to making short term gains, so the corps really have no incentive to do anything else and they’ve got brutally efficient. Small farms, mom and pop shops, and everything else is out the window when Walmart and amazon can deliver at a fraction of the cost. Ever since shipping containers and the whole globalization thing, labor will always be cheaper across the ocean because those places are run by governments that take away individual rights and take away the workers bargaining power. Unless you could some how make the global wage the same for everyone, there’s no reason to produce here. We can ship it, freeze it, whatever. It costs less to move and store than we would save by producing in country.

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Is the TV coverage of the Iraq War and the buildup to it burgerpunk?
The stuff on YouTube is pure kino, whatever the genre is. Live coverage of the start of the attacks, O'Reilly Show talking about how bad Saddam is and how he's got a month left to disarm. I find myself getting hyped for a war I know has already ended, and ended without the promised fun times of a gulf war sequel. All of it interspersed with pointless consumer knowledge and vague personal nostalgia awakened by the adverts captured on the recording, or the pointless day-to-day politics that slip through the headlines about the war.
Games released the month the war started: Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire, Sonic Advance 2, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Burnout 2 dropped the same day as Mission Accomplished. GTA Vice City the same month.

Then there's what I haven't explored online, but so clearly remember. Year after year after year of news headlines opening with how many people have died in Iraq today, always in the background. It's only recently I realised it had stopped.

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Americans literally pay more for their healthcare you fucking gypsy

The Rings of Saturn is not American but is a disjointed bunch of vaguely-connected thoughts about the decay of a country by a foreigner wandering through it thinking about other countries, perhaps best summed up by the scene where he finds in a former booming fishery town a beach full of fishermen who haven't caught a single fish among themselves in days, still idly sitting there with empty rods when they used to have nets swelling with thousands weighing down boats

Tune for this thread
youtube.com/watch?v=I3iuxN2IpxI

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incredible

From an economical perspective you would have to find some way to offset the profit benefits of using third-world labor. This could be institutional methods to limit the free market to allow American production to survive, something like tariffs on non-American products or subsidies to American-made products. These usually have a lot of problems with their effect on the market as a whole and usually grow discontent from both the businesses and consumers. Also it can spark retaliatory actions, essentially you are trying to make it not profitable for people to buy products from other parties so those parties will try to make it not profitable for you to do that. You can look at the Trump administration's recent tariffs as an example of how these usually turn out. America also has an assload of subsidies for corn which has actually lowered the quality of many products and caused unforeseen consequences to the average American's diet.
More cultural solutions could be possible, albeit harder to implement. Again if Americans valued the concept of products made in America more that could offset the value of third-world labor. This could possibly be susceptible to corporate propaganda though. I don't think this is an actual solution I'd recommend but just to show a bizarre solution, you could also lower American labor standards so that third-world labor isn't much cheaper than American labor, America wouldn't be so reliant on illegal immigrants if Americans themselves would work those fields. This would involve removing American luxuries and living standards in general which is completely against the point.

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what are the best parts to read?

What is the main doc at this point, I want in
Also stop posting it on Yea Forums it was probably one of those faggots that tried to delete it all

I huff my Mango-flavored Juul and blast cloud in the yuro’s face. He’s wearing some faggy soccer-player haircut that probably looks cool back in France or wherever, and he definitely doesn’t know enough English to ask me to stop breaking his balls.
“Dude,” I sneer at him, “How much are you paying to go here?”
“What?” says the yuro. His baby blues go wide like chyrons. “Do you mean in pounds or dollars?”
“I mean, the average cost of a degree from a public university in the U.S. is like 40k in student loans. That’s for people who actually live here. And this isn’t even like a good school. I came here because I graduated from high school with a B-minus average. So, like, what the fuck? You’re paying full out-of-state tuition plus room and board plus international fees to goof off in a useless slacker humanities program with me? That’s fucking insane. Are you like, retarded? You got on a fucking plane to come to this shithole. You flew across a fucking ocean to go to a school forty-five minutes from my house.”
The yuro goes from uncomfortable to freaked. Maybe he didn’t know it was a shitty school. Maybe he thought he was at Carnegie-Mellon. I decide to lay a little more bro on the ‘dudes’ to intimidate him even more. It’s a well-known fact that yuros are scared of red Solo cups and beer pong.
“Duuude,” I emphasize, “And you left behind everybody in France.”
“I’m from England,” he snaps, “I’ve told you that five times now. I’m a native fucking English speaker. I was born in Gloucestershire. I speak better English than you.”
“Okayyyy….?”, I reply, “I didn’t ask for, like, the Lord of the Rings.” I seal the own with another thick blast of cloud. We both know I’ve won because of how fast his face is reddening. He’s beginning to realize he fucked up. Bad. While he thinks back over his life choices, I flip my fitted around and observe the scene. Over by the bookstore’s Starbucks, some sluts in yoga pants are sipping milkshakes and giggling at their phones. Those white yoga pants are hugging the mulatto’s ass crack too fucking perfectly. What a dirty fucking whore, I think, She fucking knew she’d be waving her ass cheeks around when she went out this morning. She knew it and she did it anyway because she wants it. She’s desperate for cock, she’s fucking fertile, her sweet mocha pussy is fresh and hungry and she fucking needs it. I glance at the yuro to see if he’s on the same page as me, and he isn’t. Some sad and misty expression’s come across him. He’s probably thinking about Poet’s Corner or Doctor Who, because clearly the jungle pussy girl’s cock-famished ass hasn’t imprinted itself on his faggot yuro mind. Maybe I can make him cry, I consider. I’ll just tell him more about how shitty I did in high school.

should organize it by parts,
>The Bun
>The Cheese
>The Tomato

i remember that thread and every reply. why is my brain storing these htigs

This is from fucking January. Ancient days. What I want to know is if the user who posted the original Yea Forums burgerpunk thread was deriving the expression from Yea Forums, or if he came to it on his own like how Newton and Leibniz both came up w/ calculus independently. It's hardly impossible, but Yea Forums showed appreciation for the neologism while Yea Forums barely even noticed it, which seems correct for me. Notice that the original thread was a spin of DeLillo as well

I decided to standardize the article according to the following rules:
1. Begin a new chapter with a 26 point Helvetica Neue (close to the font used in McDonalds commercials) preceded by a burger emoji and followed by Layer XX.
2. Capitalize the word "burger" in every title
3. Refactor the main text to be 11 point Helvetica Neue
Now some suggestions:
1. We should insert advertisements between every chapter for maximum immersion.
2. We should not only stick to burger corporations, but should also write about other aspects of the burgerpunk experience.
3. We should describe products in the same way that Bateman describes designers and brands in American Psycho.
I will work on refactoring the image section to the end of the document.
Any other ideas?

Attached: the proud whopper-min.jpg (6322x4238, 1.68M)

Have you read the actual doc yet?

Yes, the actual doc is here:
docs.google.com/document/d/1kfM_h_eUJYWOWn1JlR4C2VSHWc59uWlAQlsyF5sur9k/edit

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No, I'm asking if you read it, because several of your suggestions are redundant.

They are just suggestions, if people are doing them already that is great! I have not read the whole thing in it's great bulk, but some of it is incredibly well written.
I just wanted to present some simple guidelines to make it easier to organize.

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Fair, I guess I was operating under the assumption you were trying to become a Community Organizer, or something of the sort.

I prayed for my eternal soul at Wendy's drive through cathedral and all I got was this lousy manifesto.

This is the proper take. Burgerpunk isn't the dime a dozen European jab at Americans where they rant about how Americans are fat idiots who shit their pants in Walmart, it's the state of existence where you drift through a useless life with all the meaning taken out of it. All that's left is mindless consumption and pursuit of pleasure, but you can't have that either because you're stuck in a car all day. Maybe one day you'll become a communist or fascist revolutionary and try to destroy the Great Satan, but it won't work. You'll still be the same empty person with no roots or identity, living in a sea of concrete and chain stores.

You want it, need it, you gotta have a taste of BurgerPunk™
I want this project to remain as decentralized as possible (hopefully without leaking it to Yea Forums or /pol/) so that we can extract the maximum lulz from it.
Just wanted to standardize it to make it easier to navigate and insert new chapters.

Yeah this needs to be driven hard into everybody contributing as the general theme
I think it's too subtle of a thing to convey in writing for us to extend the project to other boards, Yea Forums itself has enough struggles with nuance but opening it up to a board as bad as Yea Forums guarantees that this feeling will be lost in a sea of ">BE AMERICAN >GET SHOT AT SCHOOL" tier shit

Who died and made you burger king?

Burgerpunk is forgetting to attend the biweekly Latin Mass at your local suburban church b/c you got drunk and went out to the nearby third-tier commuter school's most popular bar to try to catch young puss even though you live with your mother

IMHO, of course

I only go to mass on Christmas and Easter.

You're missing out 2bh. Mutt Catholicism is America's true religion

America is Protestant

there are an estimated 70 million Catholics the US

Can we have some /tg/ or /sfg/ fag throw together some pen and paper style sheets for Burgerpunk a la cyberpunk 2020?
Classes:
>grill cook
>cashier
>truck driver
>night manager
>gas station clerk
>greeter
>public school teacher
>delivery guy
>college drop out
>mascot
>mom
>security guard

Please respond

Is this funny? I was giggling when I wrote it but I'm terrible at determining whether other people also appreciate at what I think is funny

I've accidentally written a couple lit memes this way. I simply can't tell. Sometimes I'm on the floor in tears laughing at my own shitposts, which receive no replies. Other times the most lazy shart in the bucket will receive literally dozens of replies and I'll see it get reposted in Yea Forums humor threads

I just want to know whether it's funny or not. I am completely incapable of determining this on my own

Protestantism is a form of progressive secularism and not a real religion, at least in America

i thought it was pretty funny and i sent it to my friend and he said it made him think of a memory. it's okay, user

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The very accurate critique of the euro’s motivation was compelling.
The punchline of him from England was hilarious.
The rest gets into /pol/ shitposting that made me disappointed and want to go rub one out in sadness.

Stats. These stats become better the closer they are to 0.
>incompetence
>sedentary
>conformity
>recklessness
>autism
>ineptness

Special stats:
>drivers license: designated by license clasification
>credit score: provides what kind of big purchases you can make against credit

>Yea Forums discovers an old Yea Forums meme
>beating a dead horse in a few days
epic

Thank you

I appreciate your response. I was obviously far too horny for the last part. I'll try to make it up to you by attempting to get laid tonight and thereby banish this toxic hunger for pussy from my mind. It's unlikely but worth a shot. Again, thank you

That’s less then a third of the population.
>at least in America
What are evangelicals and baptists

For a long time, I think TV and cinema in general got most of their influences from literature. I think, things have finally reversed in the other direction. Viz. Burgerpunk.

Horse meat is what they dilute the patties with.

it's been true since television became the main way the masses receive their information. idk what decade that was exactly

The main takeaway from Burgerpunk is that America is the end stage of a guilt based society.

Good point. Half of Yea Forums admits they had their artistic awakening when they watched End of Evangelion.

Holy fucking shit im a europoor studying at cambridge and this resonated with me hard. FUCK

Lit poster said he got it from Yea Forums

I've always enjoyed how the Iraq War is going on in the background of Arrested Development. That show may qualify as BurgerPunk now that I think about it.

Its funny.

>Half of Yea Forums admits they had their artistic awakening when they watched End of Evangelion.

Not me you fucking weeb.

perfect. you nailed it.

>tfw op of the first thread and witnessing this weird mcflurry spiral I kind of caused already

Pretty neat

>tfw this is the first time anyone on Yea Forums has liked my content

Falling Down

This is ironically the best burgerpunk movie

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maybe parts of it, but its too romantic in the traditional sense to be burgerpunk

Yeah this is true, there's a genuine hopefulness and meaningful friendship with positive character development that is so wholesome and uplifting that I don't think it fits

Chungking Express and Fallen Angels directed by Wong Kar Wai

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Another pic from Fallen Angels

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Is homemade spaghetti with low quality ingredients burgerpunk?

can the guy who footnoted the first part of chapter 6 please continue? i appreciate your contribution

Burgerpunk predates VR and smartphones.

So is burgerpunk just a 90s kids version of the whole Vaporwave Synthpop thing we just suffered a decade of? Is each decade now just going to be an ironic/nostalgic regurgitation of what came before?

It’s vaporwave + suburbia

Ready Player One is earnest burgerpunk

Havent read it but I think Bleeding Edge might be burgerpunk

Infinite Jest is a criticism of burger set in a shitty, familiar future so it might be burgerpunk...

Some version of Lolita transposed to be set in the future would be a self aware burgerpunk

Ghostwritten phoned in paint by numbers pulp romance/action/scifi dime novels sold at walmart are earnest burgerpunk

Infinite Jest is peak burgerpunk. Bleeding Edge is superficially burgerpunk but Pynchon's writing and thought still feels very rooted in the mid 20th century. His Gibsonesque internet world feels really out of touch.

Same starting picture suggests Yea Forums was inspired by that thread.

holy cow how does this exist

King of the Hill is the final burgerpill. Move to a shitty house, marry someone, live a humble life in the middle of nowhere, where nothing interesting or thought provoking will ever happen (and that's a good thing).

burger but not punk. the episode where bobby cooks meth probably counts, and the one where Hank gets hooked on vidya

Cyberpunk will never fully arrive. Burgerpunk seems to have strangled the possibility cyberpunk in the grave, keeping a grotesque changeling monster in its place, we live with the disappointment of this. Instead of widespread cyber augmentation, robots, and lightning-paced technological advancement, we get endless 1970s-model concrete fastfood blocks and freeway sprawl, Chinese slave labor, and technological stagnation.

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it is more of a self conscious confession of what green day is. on and on the generations gutted and processed only to find themselves window shopping and recognizing what was a piece of their soul feedbacked at them with glamour lights, this time with a fee to reclaim it back. a few months back i drove to a mall i once went to casually as a teen, through most of what i expected was still there thriving and what i once loathed with naive eyes gave a certain endearing sentimentality. everyone knew it was dead, ever since. it was the collective fake smiles, small talk over food court snacks, the striding drift of a primitive version of tinder swiping, the half priced catwalk. this gave it something, the mall as a collection of kidnapped culture is itself its own subculture. i found myself carrying a few bags, i had to. i had to walk in to a cued 'hey hows it going'. i had to make fun of the exaggerated posters. i had to eat chinese noodles beside a rubber palm. i had to give the mall security his justified alertness. i had to pretend that the paychecks earned by this community was worth it. i was atoning, for what was once i thought of as hell and there i was for a confession. only for a brief moment of me revisiting, i was part of it, and surely i was killed and resurrected from a decade old memory of love that seemed to stick to that culturally quarantined space of its own independent time. it was a party, a scene, a play that started at the opening of the automated glass door and ended with you smoking a cigarette, staring at the parking lot with paper bags of your self advertised taste. on the periphery, i spot a young couple dumpster diving. they were clearly alarmed at my presence. at that moment i felt a sickness, not of them but of me clutching these paperbags. i shouldve joined them. should i have told them i was more embarassed than they are? how could i have told them how they were dressed while dumpsterdiving was priceless? i shouldve risked by telling them to run as far away as possible, away from the cameras, away from the halogen imprints, from the annual iventory style change. should i tell them of how they are 'the fashion'? they were dressed as if they will be the next spring catalogue in a few years. they will be sold worldwide. who wouldve known that a pair of young poor dumpster diving suburbanites is what will clothe inner city trend chasers and 'high art' fashion? obliviously they are the the real posters, the fashion lines, the seasonal catalogue. the very lifeblood of this place. and i was there, the smug smoker making them feel poor, a satisfied customer, a made person. i made it past the dazed traffic and on to the freeway. guided by white lines, i was drawn there for a reason. a pilgrimage.

nytimes.com/2019/04/06/style/hot-topic-stores.html

Just imagine being this BurgerPunk

>the episode where bobby cooks meth

Not a fan, but that's one I must see.

Is infinite jest proto-burgerpunk?

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>footnote entire rest of book
>user only wants the one part you didn't write footnoted

Is this feeling of unwantedness burgerpunk?

I just realized this. The whole alt-right/online politics bullshit is burgerpunk as fuck
>yell at people online
>get famous
>realize you're doing nothing with your life
>go for a march since you want to actually do something
>oops we got labeled terrorist
>realize that there is no way to change things
>continue trying to lie off of money online like before march
>get banned anyhow cause lol corporations
it's perfect

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Does the most average Burgerpunk support these hot aired narcissists on Patreon and pay for SuperChats?

Some of these doc submissions read like they were written like ESLs desu. Doing some editing now.

I've lost control of my life.

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>Doing some editing now.

Thank you.

We don't mean to be a nuisance, but, uhh, aren't ESL writers the originators of, uhh, b*punk?

Fight club, literally the most burgerpunk thing I can imagine that goes full punk

They play an important role, definitely. Some of these guidelines are really busting my balls desu, I don't know how hard we're holding to them, but there's a lot of room for improvement in the prose if we allow for revisions, which seems not to be the case now. I also don't know how likely it is for the original authors to come back and revise their own stories, considering the nature of the work.

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The nature of "fast food literature" is to write fast and forget even faster.

The brunt of the work, the GREAT GREASE that keeps employment overturn turning, presents itself as cyclical.

We write when we wanna write and we wrong most of the time.

It's all anonymous. Rewrite parts that are fucking garbage. Just don't delete the whole thing or replace every line with nigger and ham. You know to not replace the message of the piece as a writer yourself. Jesus Christ, I for one, as a writer of at least 3 vignettes WISH that anons would go in and add to it. Some did and the story was better on the other side.

I've been slowly working through and doing that to fix (unintentionally) awkward wording and some of the "nigger nigger nigger" parts. Just don't want people throwing a shitfit if their "He was chinese he eat dog and look like yellow man" portion gets edited slightly to be less blatant.

The "find and replace" does not improve the story.

Have we lost the war on character names?

>The "find and replace" does not improve the story.
I legitimately don't know what you mean by this. Can you explain?

Ctrl F to find "Harry" and Replace all instances of "Harry" with "This now bisexual man" ...

The capitalization ain't even right, man.

And a blessed milf named Angela is now known as "This bitch".

I didn't do that, but yeah that sucks. can't you just change it back though?

Fifth element

For books, I find a Scanner Darkly very burgerpunk. In terms of T.V. I find Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul very burgerpunk in nature. Especially the way Walter had to create drama and problems in his life to feel meaning.

can the host put up a new doc without the ctrl f bullshit

The burger halls are empty now, the sanitation crews having swept and mopped and scrubbed and buffed the floors before applying the waxy shine we were advised to walk carefully upon as we toured the large atrium, walking in a single nimble queue that snaked around the lengthy tables, glistening, pooling aqueous cleaning solutions applied within the past hour or so, imbuing the burger hall with a pine-familial antiseptic aroma, surprisingly masking entire any trace of the pallets of potatoes fried in peanut oil from 10:55AM to last batch at 1:55, the timing for the French fries having been optimized at four minutes with a one minute resting period for the basket of steaming, grease-dripping potato fronds to be seated and locked into a chassis purpose built for that resting period, there being sophisticated internal parts, timers and pressure sensors I’m told, that enable the chassis to communicate the required minute’s exact 60-second timing to the burger hall’s processing unit, an ambient computational utility accessible to various burger machines, some drawing on the chopped lettuce inventory and others counting accumulated “ReO,” to the burger laeity red onions, or else tracking the dizzying and fluctuant volumes of shredded, swiss, American, pepperjack, cheddar and, yes, certainly, vegan cheeses, the quantities of condiments dwindling in prandial pulses and wooshing rushes, vent hoods, indecisive verbal fillers between epiphanies for bacon cheese burgers, chicken sandwiches with extra pickles, even burgers with nothing but cheese and certainly no onions for the dogs that we’re more than happy to serve, tracking their doggy cones with its own IPU, UPC, BCU and MAP files, enabling the burger computational systems to alert us immediately if we should be running low in one of our heated hoppers any patties, breasts, filets, double-stacks or croquetaz, when seasonal and logistically feasible, blinking a pleasing crimson and ruby bleat designed to be heard above the din of breakfast, lunch, dinner and late night rushes, ensuring our dedicated burger team members can split open another room temperature box of brilliantly engineered animal and vegetable protein amalgamated discuses, slap them upon the grill for a special “no pickles” or “halal” order or else collate them into a steam tray like coinage into a vault and send them into the 2200 watt double magnetron microwave, which used to send the whole burger hall into brown outs until corporate sprung for an impressive power station that drew from the natural gas grid and permitted a constant burger uptime during open hours and even helped a nearby children’s hospital whose infrastructure was caught up in lots of red tape.

I wasn’t one of the burger-crafting artisans, who we referred to as Subject Matter Experts, SMEs, pronounced in our organization parlance as “SMEEs” and often intoned with a great deal of respect, the burgermen and burgerwomen and burger-nonbinary being the whole reason we even had these curious jobs, entirely new organizational roles as of a few months prior. Those SMEs were why the burger computation system was invented and why we were touring at this late hour to plan the most ambitious upgrade imaginable, requiring the installation of a whole new set of storage and cooking technologies as well as the integrated inventory management and reporting capabilities.

>can the host put up a new doc without the ctrl f bullshit

Making the doc read only?

Is this a submission? Where do you want it copy/pasted?

I remember a large chunk of the first TLoTiaT had somebody do this. Across many different sections clearly written by different contributors, all words even vaguely alluding to vaginas (calling somebody a pussy, etc) were changed to "feminine penis."
That was kinda funny though and added to the charm, mass-changing character names and stuff is just obnoxious.

Its so gruesome, but this is so true. We are a shambles. We have been obliterated, Anons. We are living in the waste, in the apocalypse. There's no asteroid to get us, we are living in the crater. What a thing to realize, how bracing and awful. I urge you not to turn away. Force the rest of Society to look at it, to look at what they did, what we all did.

restoring from an earlier backup before harry got replaced with this bisexual man

>restoring from an earlier backup before harry got replaced with this bisexual man

The doc has been heavily edited (improved!) so we are past that point.

Easier to read the doc and wonder if "This Bisexual Man" really might be Harry after all.

1am outside a gas station in Wisconsin, across the road from an overgrown field, halfway between two towns nobody cares about. Nobody but me has been past for hours. The fluorescent-lit signs in the window promise Coca-Cola and Krispy Kreme. I wonder if anyone at Krispy Kreme has ever heard of this gas station. I think it's lost in the system; a single value five decimal places into a cell twenty columns in to a spreadsheet handled fifteen layers down from corporate. I don't think that at any time in human history have we felt that their hometown, their life, their very culture has been so insignificant, or so far removed from the source. Scream for your relevance. Scream that somebody's down here.

newfag spotted

Coming to the keypad and the biometric scanner, our line's leader, Linda, swiftly keyed in a highly secure combination into the numerical pad and then, lifting her left arm over her head, used her right hand to quickly lift up her blouse and brazier in one smooth motion, carefully liberating only the single tawny left breast before pressing the pecan areola onto the scanner, drawing out a purring fuzzy reddish light from the refracted and reflected scanner lasers bathing the smushed mammalia for but a full count of three seconds before a loud click unlocked the closet door, which Linda deftly and politely opened as she finished gracefully readjusting her attire, beckoning us to descend the brightly lit ivory staircase leading to what she deemed the "Burger Data Relay," itself the top-most level of a series of sub-basement floors that contained additional computational hardware, backups, fail-overs, parallel and parallax downtime contingency layers, power solutions, medical, judicial, hazmat tools and equipment, our visionary investors foreseeing the need for the burger hall to be much more than a food court, forecasting that in a few decades time there may be some impromptu court or junta hosted therein, or else it may be a refuge from sentient toxic slime or the hyper feral creatures affected by said slime, and this was why they sought to make it as a large communal hall with a single open eating area lined by we were told over one-hundred meters of burger-vending customer-facing retail space, on each side of the food court, permitting a breezy 500+ customer breakfast hour service and making the burger hall appear on the logistical visualizations of burger's corporate data gurus and ninjas as a highly lucrative pit that swallowed all fungible, edible inventories, turning any patty-shaped widget, nearly anything sufficiently saline and saccharine into cash, or more precisely, cash flow, which I'm told is a bit different, the mainstay of all this being that the burger hall has been a mindfully designed solution to economic and societal problems, representing a new age of corporate responsibility and stewardship.

Cringe

>implying the marketing of burgers isn't a microcosm of america

Fast food is too central to American life to not be a part of this.

Being rewarded by corporate for locking the door and in doing so saving their investment at the expense of leaving your shift manager outside to become collateral damage, until your corporate bosses' bosses learn of this decision and act to reverse it, only to have their decision and your fate thrown further into ambiguity by another arm of a yet more powerful and conglomerated corporate entity, all the while with each of these topsy-turvy escalations your consequences grow until you're facing a litany of legal indictments and civil suits brought by not only various industry associations and affiliated social clubs, until inevitably district attorneys grant a no-knock warrant be served to secure evidence needed by a sealed signatory of a secret finding whose almost entirely redacted and censored contents did not deter the judge from issuing the warrant, her future defense being she had every right to issue that warrant because she's a judge and just because she's a woman doesn't mean she should be second-guessed.

Burgerpunk is McDonald's, Coca Cola, Disney, Netflix, Facebook, Apple, Google, etc.

It's not Lockheed Martin unless we're talking the non-engineer staff, moreso even the food service workers who don't event work for LMT

The Burgernator used to make software. Still does, sometimes. But if life were a mellow elementary
school run by well-meaning educated Ph.D.s, the Burgernator's report card would say: "Harry is so
bright and creative but needs to work harder on his cooperation skills."

So now he has this other job. No brightness or creativity involved-but no cooperation either. Just
a single principle: The Deliverator stands tall, your pie in thirty minutes or you can have it
free, shoot the driver, take his car, file a class-action suit. The Deliverator has been working
this job for six months, a rich and lengthy tenure by his standards, and has never delivered a
pizza in more than twenty-one minutes.

Oh, they used to argue over times, many corporate driver-years lost to it: homeowners, red.faced
and sweaty with their own lies, stinking of Old Spice and job-related stress, standing in their
glowing yellow doorways brandishing their Seikos and waving at the clock over the kitchen sink, I
swear, can't you guys tell time?

Didn't happen anymore. Pizza delivery a major industry. A managed industry. People went to
CosaNostra Pizza University four years just to learn it.

You people might be pleased to know that every election Mickey Mouse gets considerable votes

How did get this idea you?

Q and z, so lazy!

What is homemade spaghetti? You tear bread into little strips?! Thats burgerpunk.

Homemade is the antithesis of burgerpunk

how's San Antonio, Texas?

Burgerpunk as fuck. It’s nothin but suburbs baby.

The TexoPlex in general, but more than anywhere else is that sprawling, humid dystopia and asshole of the lower United States, Houston. There's nothing like this place. Precisely because it's not the poorest or the largest or the most dangerous or the wealthiest. It's a wal-mart with a million people inside of it and another three million loitering around the parking lot. A parking lot which annexes ever more land and fills with ever more people.

I've heard it said "Houston, we have a problem." What the speaker meant to say was "I, Houston, am the problem."

SIEGE is kind of anti-burgerpunk, but written by an author so inundated within the burgerpunk universe that he can't quite rail against burgerism without also existing within it.

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Kind of like how Martin wanted to make an anti-Tolkien, but just ended up making Tolkien, stabbed with a faggot knife.

Houston doesn't have any zoning laws, so developers are free to basically do whatever the fuck they want. It's a hellscape. When anons post about:
>be american
>get shot
I think of Houston.

You know what, I wanted to change the subject from zoning laws to what I think of as a Houstonian, which is like an effeminate early 30's balding patchily bearded guy that wear a lanyard and has everything delivered to his luxury apartment through apps, because black people always bother him if he walks and it's hot but he had to come here because of contract so he's making the best of a bad situation and won';t admit how much he hates humidity and minorities if his life depended on it, but then I think "how much of this stuff is actually downstream from just letting shitty developers build whatever wherever. Honestly, it all makes sense when you think of it like that. We could have had a livable city with an actual population and sustainable growth but instead we have this shithole of tbqh cosmopolitan faggots and vagrant niggers.

When I was young I would beg my mother to take us to mcdonalds. She would say we have mcdonalds at home, but I knew she was lying. I would beg and plead and cry and tell her I would jump out of the car window if she weren’t to turn the car around and drive us straight to the golden arches. She would cave. She was so used to caving. She would cave for men, ever since dad died. She had a hole in her heart and a hole between her legs.
I would get the happy meal. A small little cardboard box with 4 mcnuggets and a small fry. My favorite thing to do with my small soda was to get a little bit of everything the soda machine had to offer. It was like a melting pot of sugars and carbonation. It never tasted very good, but the faces on all the adults when they watched me krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh krusshh at the dispencer was good enough for me. I suppose most things were good enough for me. I didn’t have much choice in the matter at that age. Our one bedroom apartment was good enough. Our 1982 honda civic was good enough. The bus ride to school was good enough. But those nuggets were beyond good. Taking the tight bursting ketchup packets and spewing them all across my plastic tray lined with thin newspaper branding materials. Drawing smily faces with the ketchup. These were good times. Sometimes we were even lucly enough to go to the location that had an n64 in the play place. The games were never the good ones, and the controllers were alwayss broken, but this didn’t bother me much, it was better than what we had at home. We had the original nintendo at home with two games. Ducktales and super mario brothers 2. That was it, she never bothered buying new games. She was always spending our money on mcdonalds she said.
After I was finished with my happy meal and feeling quite happy I’d go play on the play place. Put my shoes in the cubby and make friends as if it wasn’t hard to make friends. It was hard to make friends. But not there. There. In the. What was I saying? Oh hello sir, how can I help you today? May I take your order? Yes, that will be 16.43. Please just swipe there. Great, your order will be out in just a few minutes.

>being "alt-right"
>throwing political support behind glow in the dark grifters, Jews and faggots

I broke my shoulder in houston outside a hotel. I was supposed to go to a concert the next day but my buddy and I thought, drunkenly at 4am, that it would be a good time to teach me how to fight. The night before was pretty great. He wanted to go hit on girls, and I wanted to find bars that had at least some resemblance to a divey hipster trash punk bar. We settled on a little strip of bars near the tram thing down town. Met a dude that looked exactly like a tunnel snake. Generally I'm just pissed that Austin has all the hot hipster/alt/punk girls. They all move out of san antonio unless they are latina, and even then finding a non obese one is like a needle in a hay stack. Austin suffers the same problems you mentioned. San Antonio does to a lesser extend but it WISHES it had the problems y'all have with SO much business from highly trained technical workers they would have to improve downtown's mobility. But it's such a tourist trap there's no way it'll ever have a walkable pizza stand.

i wrote a small bit in a blade runner world about a delivery boy who drops off drugs at a sprawling apartment complex, and when he returns to his hovercar he finally opens the pornhub notifications on his phone to find his girlfriend getting a train ran on her. the delivery boy subsequently takes a series of fat rips off his weed vape to numb the emotional pain

The alt-right lives in your mind, rent-free

This is excellent cybergerpunk

disgusting

you should submit that to some short fiction mags like Asimov's or some shit
Yea Forums fags should inundate the sf/f community which is currently overrun with commie fucks and queermo furfags with based Space Empire golden age / Blade runner cyberpunk science fiction

Every day is a series of moments and decisions. Today I wasted them all.

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New thread

Burgerpunk is the low-res 00s version of our present synthpunk era.

here you go

***Books:
The High Cost of Free Parking by Donald Shoup
>amazon.com/High-Cost-Free-Parking-Updated/dp/193236496X
Order Without Design by Alain Bertaud
>amazon.com/Order-without-Design-Markets-Cities/dp/0262038765
Zoning Rules!: The Economics of Land Use Regulation by William Fischel
>amazon.com/Zoning-Rules-Economics-Land-Regulation/dp/155844288X

***Articles & Blogs
Strong Towns Introduction
>strongtowns.org/journal/2018/7/27/a-strong-towns-crash-course
Traditional City Primer
>andrewalexanderprice.com/blog20131204.php
Granola Shotgun
>granolashotgun.com/2016/08/31/a-thousand-hidden-subsidies/
SF Housing Primer by Kim-Mai Cutler
>techcrunch.com/2014/04/14/sf-housing/
The immaculate conception theory of your neighborhood’s origins By Daniel Hertz
>cityobservatory.org/the-immaculate-conception-theory-of-your-neighborhoods-origins/

***Videos:
Incremental Development
>youtube.com/watch?v=TcmzF8zn5FE
Systematic Safety
>youtube.com/watch?v=5aNtsWvNYKE&feature=youtu.be
The STROAD
>youtube.com/watch?v=F6jFnOnjzrk
SIDtv playlist
>youtube.com/watch?v=kI7HhZc-h_M&list=PL081769910C63DB75

***Podcasts:

***Twitter accounts:
@wrathofgnon
>twitter.com/wrathofgnon/status/883181352933236736
@devonzuegel
>twitter.com/devonzuegel/status/1060381939058728963
@380kmh
>twitter.com/380kmh

***Academic:
Should Law Subsidize Driving?
>papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3345366

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>the STROAD

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it's a good concept

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I'd include The Pale King over Infinite Jest if you're averse to more than one book by the same author.

Seconding.