How does it feel knowing a six year old writes better poetry than you ever will?

Literally what is the fucking point of poetry that doesn't rhyme. It's fucking worthless. It's just a shitty short story at that point.

It's not even hard to rhyme:
>Rain falls on dave's mum's bum
>She let's out a brap
>I take another swig of rum
>Then give her arse a hard whap

Rhyme scheme is fine, but you're not saying anything evocative. Like there's nothing deeper to this, which is the whole point of poetry imo. For me, poetry is half way between music (instrumental) and prose in its purpose:

Prose can tell a detailed, explicit narrative.
Music is the evocation of raw emotions (sadness or jubilation, but without a specific referenced object)
Poetry is a more explicit medium, using human language to evoke emotional reactions similar to music, but with a specific referenced object.

So with that in mind, I'm not a huge fan. It's just sorta poking fun at jannies, which is fine, just not for me. Either way, nice job user, at least you're creating anything at all.

>he doesn't know about classical poetic forms that don't rhyme, for instance haiku

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Atop a steep pile does Lee-Ann preside
Furnaced lust loosed by enchanted peptide
Flanks fired from girl genes deeply sunk
Fated by a Satyress' jade plunk
Cooking her victuals to such glisten
She felt no mere thousand men could christen
Forging in her a slut’s distinct new clade
Cleaved from good girls by Galapagos blade
Lee-ann felt her femininity gust
Desiccant if by a pud’s meager thrust
No girth, length or pacing could so daunt her
Her spent suitors emptied, she then saunters
Never giving af, Lee-Ann’s quite based
Perusing which hung dong will best puss baste
Igniting infighting between queued lovers
Lee-Ann dug toes in dirt, her arboreal druthers
Disrobed and radiant, Lee-Ann addressed
Lunar light made lamps her full pale breasts
“Pound my snizz well, or else you’re all huge fags”
“And hazard not a reference to coital brags”
“Instead slam true for goddess and country
“Make of my snatch how prep cooks do chutney”
Heated frenzies, lovers risking any dangers
Crowd control would include interchangers
Mileage rocketing Lee-Ann kept engulfing
One way turnstyles prevent revolving
Her jerfkified lips recall crustaceans
Mere sniffs send yips from queued dalmatians
With each new mount, Lee-Ann starts flirtation
Pardoning her brapper’s fulmination
Now Lee-ann’s splade atop the Agrocrag
No Black fella was slowed by an Afro snag
Nor octadic-armed studs with glowing eyes
Scrambling relentless to Lee-ann’s hot pies
Forty dawns heard wide, thunderous slapping
Recalling cave whores’ sordid cunt knapping
Rumors swirled too, sorry to be crass
Lee-Ann’s feet were fairest outside Alsace
Pummeling and plugging all kinds of wieners
Lee-Ann noted next time hire screeners
Keeping penors hard and extra supes wide
Big-dickings craved by radical slut pride
Cockstabbing her box up to her cervix
Lee-Ann faintly heard a track by Skrillex
Proud and beaming, two glorious pink socks
Down below toast rejects who then drink Bocks
Tracing her snapper’s surgical stitching
Lee-Ann’s clit just wouldn’t cease its twitching
Phone in hand she began an event where
A Facebook-live gangbang, BYOB is fair

It feels good. Im glad someone is writing better poetry than I ever will at the age of 6. Hopefully he sticks with it and becomes a great poet. I would be happy to read it.

it was bad the first time op's pic was posted and it's bad now

Fine, Haiku's and Limericks get a pass because they have like a hard 5 line limit or something.

But you have faggots coming up with 3 pages of a poem where none of it fucking rhymes. Get the fuck out of my face with that absolute wankery.

Historically rhyming poetry is the exception not the norm

This is good fuck that other guy

>literal 4th graders understanding of poetry.
Go back to Yea Forums

Learn to rhyme you lazy shithead

>he doesn't know about blank verse

try this, user:

gutenberg.org/files/33156/33156-h/33156-h.htm

"Summer canvases
All in His warm cloak of green.
The Jannie's sword swings."
- Ode to a banned newfag

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Jannie confirmed

Fuck you nigger

i can write a great poem. Look:

Sneed's feed and seed
Formerly Chuck's

Pretty sure there's a syllable component to rhyming that you failed

Proof the 99.5% of freeverse is low effort verbal diarrhea that even an elementary schooler can spew.

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They cleaned it up for publication. The original was written as a single run-on sentence occupying one line beneath a crayon drawing.

A message appears:
"You are permanently banned!"
>he does it for free

>fun
>ban
In what accent does this rhyme?

it's called a slant rhyme

it's called lazy

yeah
a shitty one

you come across these in 1 in any 3 poems so you two old sticks are showing your ignorance a bit

The prevalence of a poetic technique is not an excuse for your poor use of it, friend.

>he thinks he's Roethke or Thomas
LOL

i'm not the poet. but fun & ban is exactly what a slant rhyme is

>Thomas
edward or dylan?

Good point. Paradise Lost isn't poetry

the one known for slant rhymes

The cuck
He destroyed his cage
Yes
YES
The cuck is out

you don't really mean to say there are poets KNOWN FOR slant rhymes

But its deeper user
Using the unseen janitors actions upon the condemned user the poet is hinting at the tragedy of man as he is tormented by the actions of the Gods who remain unseen.He seeks for answers but all he has is questions that remain unanswered as he faces an ansurd reality.Deeply existensial the poem is a cry left unheard by the forces that move the reality around him.He stands perplexed as to why what used to be is no more.
The moment of the ban is a metaphor for the moment of death as it strikes like a thunder without warning and at that point the user finaly gets self knowledge as he is finally complete.
Draws heavily from the 18th century greek poets like Dionysios Solomos
Truly timeless poetry if you aske me.

The nigger
He destroyed his society
yee
YEE
Where the white women at?

um, yes I do
I think Dylan Thomas, I think slant rhymes

>all these autists overanalysing it
a kid is just excited about tigers, that's literally it

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not wales? not alcoholic? not radio or christmas or not going gentle into that good night?
slant rhymes

beginner level understanding of nael's work is reading the poem. higher level understanding of his work is knowing that 'they're singing a song in their rocket' is the true poetry.

Those things too.

is this a critique thread now?
user, is there any hope:

sole light, shine bright—
glow through the blind night:
in lunacy, free'd,
all of our greed;
so we rise in our lies
like grass to the skies
and light untrue
will make nature burst through
cricket chirp cannot usurp
the empty silence within
of man's original sin

IDIOT ALERT YOU STUPID CUNT

Have you not read any writing on him?
His frequent use of slant rhyme over perfect rhyme is commonly noted.

Dave btfo'd

reads like a nursery rhyme
there's hope for you though

I can write a better poem right now:

if the hurt comes
so will the happiness

nice

The Tiger saunters off into the dimly lit streets
On the prowl for a tasty meal to eat
Human beings meet in the town square
Only to be offered as silver platters in world too fair
Slowly dragged into the monster's lair
Limbs and remnants of lacerations and tears
Paint the ground in a sanguine palette where
A ravenous beast seems to care
More about circumventing a life of despair
By giving in to a satiating reflex
Dating back to the time of the T-Rex
Yes
YES
The tiger feasts
Another day in the life of the beast
If only he had not destroyed his cage
I'd be able to write another page
As my bones begin to rumble and shake
The tiger lingers closer for the sake
Of nature taking it's course of ultimate fate
Innate I've become bait
To accommodate the raging hate
Of a brute's appetite
Goodbye, life approaches night
A abysmal finale of bloody plight
Here come the jaws and paws
A lost cause I've yet to take pause
As the tiger draws back his weapon of choice
Letting out a last cry of voice
What will come o ffaf~~`~```---------.........

I think the poem is good whatever, but this is just luck.

Myopic but keen b8

>Have you not read any writing on him?
not really.
other than a few things written by other poets, anyway. i've read lots of things about robert graves that mention his using slant rhymes, internal rhymes, et al. but i wouldn't say he's known for it.

I don’t like poetry

>what is blank verse
for shame, user

Wait, is the man described in this excerpt supposed to be DFW?

>drinks beer
LMAO

Shakespeare and Milton. Who are they?

Contrast between relatively complex punctuation at the start and then lack of punctuation is nice, but seven free lines? Too much. Period of em dash after "through?

Wine*
Pleb

but, the way it is, every other line ends with with a percussive consonant sound followed by an "r" sound
one alliterative line is not worth destroying a core structural component of the poem

the child has created the greatest conceptual breakthrough in the history of literature, loser