/write/

I'm writing a story about a bitter 35-year old virgin who sexually harasses women on the street. But eventually, he spanks the wrong ass.. Is this a good idea? How should I continue?

I want to create a philosophical system on paranoia and its unique perspectives but I havent read much philo and it'll come out to basic. I'm trying to have it as a proper og philosophical idea but when i read Post-Kant they all seem lost in logics of Reason and Cause which
makes my idea look beginner. I've already created a dialogue with a friend to use as a basis but fear of fraud is keeping me at bay

Attached: F9C09BEE-2CA4-4C18-A1C1-3DDA75C70526.png (500x485, 57K)

>GOOD
why do they have to be good? unicorn hunting.

A series of video games

Just write it. That is basic bitch advice but it works every time. No philosopher has ever hit it out of the park with their first work. No philosopher has had their systems perfectly consistent and developed in with the first book. Keep writing and make sure to follow it up because then people will be able to see the development of your ideas. Nietzsche was infamous for contradicting himself every other book

because I'd feel bad about myself pushing to publish in places I don't respect, what's even the point? I doubt you're going to get a real publishing offer off of your contributions to the Memeville, Iowa Quarterly Review.

A philosophical text about subjectivity/objectivity

yes, the same publishing houses that work with YA of the month and vampire erotica will get snotty for you to have been published in some where? university press.

both of you team up rn

A series of short stories set in the post-Civil War American west with a distinctly supernatural or mystic undertone. I've been on a cowboy kick for years now and all of the recent, good media for it has been forcing me to start jotting this one down.

Trying to start a "fictional experiment" with stories of pure incomprehension, impossibility and alieness

Writer begins his book with the appeal to all the Three Muses. He is transported to the foot of Mount Parnassus where the Muses welcome him amongst them. They take him to the well of Hippocrene, after drinking from which he is overcome with joy, and expresses his exaltation in poetic form. Exhausted, he falls asleep, and the muses attend with soft music as he is carried to the Oracle of Delphi. He finally wakes up in the middle of the night, at the center of the earth. He asks the Oracle about his future, but he is only answered by a terrifying hiss. It is the serpent, Python, alive once again. The writer flees the cave, and finds himself in a swamp. The darkness is suffocating, and with the unharvested sea above, it becomes clear that this is the Tartarus. The writer is overcome with despair, yet decides to continue on. He meets various Titans cast down by Zeus, and finally Cronos himself. He pleads for a safe passage out of Tartarus.

>managed to write one rough draft at last.
>currently working on another one for self-publishing, has to be around 250-300 pages
>have an outline and half-page done
>It's a Post-apocalypse YA cyberpunk Urban fantasy novel.
>Never really wanted to write this, only writing it as a sorta jumping off point
>I actually wanted to write a Post-Apocalypse Military science fantasy novel,

Any advice to overcome this feeling?

Attached: b10afe86ab622004c44b5582ab341551.jpg (1769x995, 988K)

Glad it was helpful. I'm just paying forward helpful advice other anons have given me, directly and indirectly.

I have been procrastinating in other threads yesterday but I have resolved to only lurk in /write/ until I finish my short story. I'm not going view the catalog or new threads until then.

I've been giving some thought to my picaresque story about a gentleman thief in a fantasy world.
I've decided that the villain and primary target of the thief's attentions will be a man called Deng, who operates a pleasure yacht-based casino. Many years ago Deng melted down a silver relic from a temple of some sort and cast it into a pair dice, which he keeps around as a good luck charm. Said dice are rumored to make things go his way. Deng is old and fragile, his wits growing dull with age, but with his fabulous wealth and reason-defying luck he keeps on getting on. The thief would have to first target the silver dice before he could target the man's actual wealth.
That's what I've thought up at any rate.

i like it.

I have a question, maybe here is the right place to ask.

I’ve always wanted to write, I’ve written a long PhD dissertation indeed (international relations and security) and some papers and book chapters too (most in Spanish)

But I’m not familiar with fiction, developing characters and plots etc.

I’m 37 now. Do you think it’s too late for me to start with fiction?
Stefan Zweig said that if you don’t craft your prose before reaching your adulthood, it’s useless to try. Is that true?

If you're not familiar at all, at least look through what editors have to say
youtube.com/watch?v=ZPHjb0MqX9g

You never know how good you are until you try, approach it as a craft and not as art though so you're capable of getting better

I've spent the last 7 years pretty frequently writing erotica, and I think I've gotten pretty good at doing the niche little thing I enjoy. I now want to try and write some fiction I could actually publish and sell, more out of curiosity to see how it's received than out of any hope of making a living doing it. However, the issue I find when I try to write anything else is that my "real" writing feels very impersonal, compared to writers I admire and even to my own porn. It's not quite as bad as I make it sound, I think, but it feels like I'm dryly detailing a sequence of events, and all the style in the language is shoved out of the way so that the story can ride on the flow of interesting actions and dialogue. I'm not quite sure how I want to try to fix this. I feel that I have two options: either I sacrifice realistic conversations for the sake of twisting dialogue to carry my style, and I try to center my writing around conversations so that the descriptions of the events between them don't need anything flowery, or I invent some character to write as. For the latter option, I could simply go into first-person narrative, but it feels like I'd be doing so for the wrong reasons, as the story I'm telling doesn't really demand it. At the same time, I'm not sure how well a narrator character would be received in a longer novel-length thing. I suppose the best option would be to invent the character of a good writer who frequently reaches for metaphor and such without it becoming annoying, but it's obviously not as easy as that. Have any of you dealt with this?

I'm working towards a poetry collection. I have some decent pieces, I think. Nothing worth showing yet, but it's getting there.

Trying to figure out what the best form of government is and justify it in a collection of essays but everytime i read another work of political philosophy my opinion changes so I haven't done but read an hour a day and underline for 1-2 months now.

"When we read, another person thinks for us: we merely repeat his mental process. It is the same as the pupil, in learning to write, following with his pen the lines that have been pencilled by the teacher. Accordingly, in reading, the work of thinking is, for the greater part, done for us. This is why we are consciously relieved when we turn to reading after being occupied with our own thoughts. But, in reading, our head is, however, really only the arena of some one else’s thoughts. And so it happens that the person who reads a great deal — that is to say, almost the whole day, and recreates himself by spending the intervals in thoughtless diversion, gradually loses the ability to think for himself; just as a man who is always riding at last forgets how to walk.

Such, however, is the case with many men of learning: they have read themselves stupid."

That seems like a good warning. Hope to prevent that by learning about logic. and turning the underlined passages into arguments. I'll will try to turn my notes into a coherent system.

*Which I'll try to turn into a coherent system.

>Stefan Zweig said that if you don’t craft your prose before reaching your adulthood, it’s useless to try. Is that true?
No. It's actually retarded. But what would you expect from an Austrian?

I'm considering turning the relationship of my two protagonists into a homosexual one, but I'm hesitant. It would add to the story, fits in with the theme I'm working with, and is something I can speak to with experience and passion. Something is holding me back though. I think it might just be some rebellion against the concept of "selling out," i.e. following the current trend of adding LGBT themes to books that dont really require it, but that's a stupid fucking reason. Or it may be my ingrained Southern mindset of "we dont talk about that," and "I dont want people to think I'm queer," despite the fact that I am and openly so. I dont know /write/, I'm angsting hard as shit about it.

>turning the relationship of my two protagonists into a homosexual one

Depends when and how you do it. Also if there was any foreshadowing. The problem people have in general with characters suddenly turning gay or suddenly going "oh btw I'm a fag bet you nazi magapedes didn't expect that" is that it's done suddenly and for no reason and the change is almost immediate. If you do it correctly, the only problem people could have with it would be out of pure homophobia.

>Royal Road
Duotrope is a great resource. Sign up for a trial membership, then cancel.

Or go to the library and get a copy of Writer's Market.

Follow writers on social media and see where they publish their stories, or read the acknowledgements in the back of a short story collection.

And please meet other writers in real life to find out their experiences. It's so helpful.

I have no intention of using something that's so personal to me for sheer shock value. In all honesty I'm using this story as a vehicle to tell the story of some of the most serious issues I've dealt with in my life. It's a strange vehicle, being a fantasy story, but it's what I've always wanted to write and I think it'll be more subtle than making a Not!Me character in a more modern setting.

The themes of the story center around the MC coming to terms with himself, the world around him, and the realities of his chosen profession. Disillusionment with war/adventure (glory vs brutality) coping with trauma (cultural repression vs need to speak out) and reconciling his desires with his sense of duty (freedom vs responsibility/commitment). His companion is paramount in his development since he shares all these experiences with the MC. The companion is gay, and there would be plenty of foreshadowing before he approaches the MC, who would be a latent homosexual.

So like I said, I have this all plotted out, and it feeds nicely into the story and does add another layer. The two becoming romantically involved will signal a turning point in the MCs struggle. He'll start to learn how to be at peace, and his partner will help him. I just dunno what's holding me back from writing it.

>companion is already gay
>companion and hero have been through a lot of horrible shit
>hero wants off this wild ride
>companion is in love with the hero offers him peace via love

I honestly don't see anything "SJW" in this. The two characters falling in love at the end (or near the end) actually sounds like the most logical conclusion.

>what's holding me back from writing it.

>it may be my ingrained Southern mindset of "we dont talk about that," and "I dont want people to think I'm queer," despite the fact that I am and openly so.

I think this is it. Write what you want to write and not what others want to read (sorry I'm making this about myself a bit but I never thought I'd be able to shit out such a nice sentence). And think about it, if the two characters don't end up together, what happens? What other options do you have? You already have all the foreshadowing done

don't post that woman, her advice is absolutely retarded.

>Not!Me
I'm not going to bother commenting on your question because I can tell just from the fact that you've used this syntax even in casual posting that your book will be trash

link somebody better

It's an excerpt from my book I am writing, I'm only 17 so it's kinda eh. Story is about a kid named Edgar who is severly depressed yet manages to be an Absurdist.
"I end up somewhere down on the beach, I have no idea how far I walked, but I am far. I stop and light a cigarette. I sit down in the soft white sand. I see the sun poke it’s gentle head above the long azure shore only to stretch it’s bliss unto the heavens. The wind blows itself softly up into my face, providing me with the insidious froth of the waves. I shudder. The clouds are pasted softly above the world, brooding forth to everyone below. The underside is illuminated with a soft orange, peeling away to fluffed orange above. Waves are hitting the sand quietly and rhythmically, leaving behind fading gray from whence it stood. Each portion of sand seems to be pasted well and soft, cut up by minor intervals of what was larger stones. Now, they are coarse and small, ripped and thrown away. The sand emits a repugnant odor of summer vacation. Next to my right foot, a small crab lunges itself upward from the close sand, and as it is tossed into here (meaning now) it threw up a light splash of the coarse sand, leaving it resting upon my boot. I pick it up. The crab is squirming in my hand, scuttling left to right and eventually he pinches my hand. It doesn’t hurt. I stand up with the crab in my right hand, my now shortened cigarette in my left, spaced perfectly between my index and middle finger. The smoke from my cigarette is cascaded softly into the air, wrapping around the invisible world that breathes around it. It seems as if the smoke is looking for something to grab onto, out of utter fear of being blown away and forgotten. But no matter how hard it twists and lashes into the cold air, it always dissipates.
I pace myself slowly left to right in a calm rhythm imitating the frightened crab swirling around in my clammy palm. Eventually, I forget about the crab and walk three paces forward, and on each pace my shoe presses downward into the coarse sand, leaving behind a frightening crushing sound into the planned repetition of the beach. When I eventually stop, I plant my boots lightly into the sand and the mild grey waves warp around me, pulling fastly and slowly up and down. I open my palm and see the crab in it. It’s dead. I laugh. I feel sick. I dig a small hole using an even smaller twig that is placed in the primary layer of sand. The whole is only several inches deep, and I put the crab into it, where I see it’s body and I laugh again. I feel sick again. I push the sand over the hole with my left boot very slowly as not to disturb the crab. Afterwards, I put my cigarette out in the small mound that protrudes from its grave. The ocean washes it away."

>Write what you want to write and not what others want to read
Fuck me you're right. The whole reason I started writing is because I wanted to write stories I wanted to read, I never intended to write for anyone else. Appreciate the advice, your reassurance has helped a lot.
Luv u 2 bb. Have a picture of a Hummingbird Griffin.

Attached: d11vggc-1049857f-c022-4ffb-8952-037ab6897368.jpg (544x625, 218K)

I'm not going to report you to the janitors if you donate skin shavings and blood to my address so I can make a stew that will grant me your youth.

>writing about sitting around and taking in the surroundings

A mistake many amateur writers make, you're focusing on your feelings, and because thinking about relaxing feels good, you think it's also good writing. But it isn't, it's just filler at best, something needs to be happening, some sort of conflict, the "meat" of the story isn't there. In this excerpt there is nothing, no concrete ideas, just day dreaming. Dreams don't make for good books.

I've been planing to write a novel set in a fictional Chinatown (most likely located in my country, where there's already a small Chinatown, but this one's gonna be massive). Problem is, most characters are Chinese and I can't come up with good names. The few names I know are common as hell and might be associated with celebrities, so I want to avoid that at all cost.
I also wanted the main characters to have names with specific meanings, so I tried Google, but there seems to be contradictory meanings for most Chinese names depending where you look at, and I don't know which source is correct.
At this point I might just give up and call everyone ching chong hun and ching chong huan. Any advice?

Based syntax poster
>I'm only 17
Underageb&. Memes aside your prose is super purple and your analogies aren't as clever as you think they are. You'll get better with practice as long as you realize what you're doing wrong. This guy is also correct

Thanks for the feedback, I've been working on this book for a while now and it's mostly just scratch. What do you mean by my prose is purple, is that bad?

The whole dead crab thing serves as a minor sort of symbol, however it eventually turns into confrontation in the next paragraph. But most of the book isn't really observations like this, but I do appreciate the feedback and I will remember to steer away from things like this again.

Purple prose means unnecessarily descriptive and flowery. Sometimes less is more. If you make every sentence super complex and flowery, it lessens the impact of moments that actually deserve that type of descriptiveness.

It's said a sea of countless minds
Could not, in sum, conceive its kind
Outside the reach of what is thought
It simmers black, curves its spine, ripples hot
Talons on ink cloth

Enormity is in that known,
And can't extend beyond that zone
Know this, such leaps can't be made
One turns back, loses line, stays the glade
It gapes a deathsilk head
Sway in the cradle

Not "up there"
Not "out"
Not "far enough that way"
Not a pointed finger
Not a chart
Not a word
Barn mice know this of the snake
And they do not speak

started writing today about a dude basically having an existential crisis and trying to go to war with his own brain. Probably it's just schizo rambling and won't get turned into anything but it's fun.

mind sharing it? i enjoy reading things like this. there was a blog a while ago run by a schizophrenic dude.
schizophreniasdiary.wordpress.com/

No

Reminder to stop writing "personal" works. We have enough and they're almost never good. Write about something bigger than yourself

> Do you think it's too late for me to start with fiction?

It's too late to make any money at it. Then again, there was never any money to make in the first place.

But, no. If you enjoy telling stories it's never too late.

The last two lines are good but I don't like anything else

>Duotrope is a great resource. Sign up for a trial membership, then cancel.
Thanks, sounds promising.

>Follow writers on social media and see where they publish their stories
>And please meet other writers in real life to find out their experiences. It's so helpful.
Again I don't know where to find these kinds of people. If I did I wouldn't hang out on Yea Forums

I am hesitant to because its my first time really writing a lot and im still updating and formatting stories but here
github.com/SIX10/PLACE-COGITO-Omnis

/write/ I researched a bunch of stuff planning my novel and now im not sure how much Ill be able to cram in

>native american mythology
>food science
>theoretical physics
>color theory
>world cuisines
>superpower applications

I feel like I can have pieces of all of it, but the mixture of native american mythology and physics is going to feel tacked on unless im careful

Fair enough, it's the first poem I've ever written and have no gauge on if it's worthwhile or not. I trust my ability to judge my prose writing but not verse at all
Would you mind saying a bit more about what specifically you don't like? And if you don't mind, what kind of poetry you typically enjoy?

I might be able to help, or shoot me an email if you want [email protected]
t. actual ching chong

I'm writing a short story with a plot idea that I'm really excited to share with you guys but it literally doesn't translate to a synopsis, I'm just going to have to write out the full story and share it then. I can't think of any good way to communicate it apart from just spelling out what happens in the story
It's good to feel excited about an idea again

>Trying to start a "fictional experiment" with stories of pure incomprehension, impossibility and alieness

Pic related for inspiration

Attached: IMG_4863.jpg (900x900, 149K)

dude... ow lol... ahh owww... this post is making my synapses grow too fast, oww fuck

I'm writing in my diary desu and composing my main work

>Write what you want to write and not what others want to read
You know what? I really enjoyed CYOA books. Thanks for reminding me.

bumping this thread & my post
pls respond

Not sure exactly, hard to point to specifics with something as subjective as poetry, but I think if you started with something more concrete to set the stage it would be more compelling. As it is, the first two lines and the last two lines are the only ones really expressing a clear idea, and since the first two aren't saying anything new, they're not really so gripping. Start with something to convince me the rest of the poetic bullshit is worth following. Disclaimer that I'm maybe not your target audience; the only book of poetry I have in my favorites is Paradise Lost, but that's how I feel about it anyhow.

That's promising!

Just started working on this today, been sitting on the idea for a while. It's far from finished, but I'm curious if what I have so far is enough to foreshadow where the story's going to be heading to the reader. If anyone takes the time to read it I'd be interested in hearing your guesses.
I'm excited to get further into the meat of it, it's going to be a challenge given what I have in mind

pastebin.com/hyyjzgSq

Attached: osprey sample.png (1106x885, 151K)

would like to write some historical fiction with mythical elements, something in the vein of buried giant. I don't want it to be just straight fantasy, but I feel like i am out of my depth. Not sure how to approach it

What kind of mythical elements specifically?

Read Latro in the Mist. It's an excellent take on exactly what you're describing. Would be a good source of inspiration for you.

mythological creatures, items and places from legends, and use those as symbols that help build a theme. I have a hard time articulating it in english. Basically they should serve as background, not the main focus

thanks for the rec, gonna have a go at it for sure, looks like what I want from description

Imo Wolfe is the golden standard for fantasy, right beside Tolkien. What Tolkein is to ridiculous depth, ol Gene is to actual literary fantasy.

Can you give a specific mythological thing and the theme you're connecting it to? I'm trying to get on the same page here.

Attached: Bones of Brahma.jpg (1024x1583, 481K)

Yeah I am currently almost finished with Shadow and Claw and I like it a lot although it is difficult as it was not translated to my language so I have to read it in english. Gonna go for Latro in the Mist right after. i think I also need to read a lot of actual stuff, like Illiad, Odyssey, Metamorpohsis, old England myths and stuff like this. So for I read it all mostly reinterpreted. Time to go to the source

Well one idea I had was a story about sllavic/avar hald breed who is thrust into slavic uprising against avars and rise of Sama empire. Themes would be blind loyalty, fighting for those who despise you for having blood of the enemies in your veins and brotherhood being more important then roots

>Sama empire
You mean Samo? That's a piece of history I have absolutely no experience with, might be cool.

Yeah, there is not much known about it so I could have a lot of space coming up with plots

I am taking a first stab at erotic literature, but it is not as easy as I had assumed. I would appreciate any constructive feedback.

Attached: littest.png (644x745, 73K)

up to 5k words typed on my novel, 10k or so written out. on the second chapter now. im gonna try and type up some of the written bit and organize it properly and expand on it today. its a slow process, but a good feel.

Attached: chad.jpg (2186x2894, 690K)

Eh, I'm not English teacher and I get told to avoid run-on sentences, but I feel like some of yours could use combining. Like in the first paragraph
>He was one failed course away from dropping out of his law study; a study which he did not enjoy.
Simple fix. This is just my personal taste though.

Currently writing a mideval-style heroes journey. Very basic writing style, but the other aspects such as symbolisim, themes, etc. are as complex as i can make them (((with my beginner's knowlege of writing.)))

Attached: allegory-of-death-in-ictu-oculi-1672.jpg (1106x1124, 399K)

>symbolisim, themes, etc. are as complex as i can make them (((with my beginner's knowlege of writing.)))

I think the only thing a beginner author can strive for is to avoid cringe and bad writing. However, you can't even manage spelling.

Avoid sloppy writing and go kill myself
Thanks desu

Attached: 1544536809715.png (833x661, 21K)

Go be a pedantic shit somewhere else. This is a comfy general for writefags to unwind and discuss actual content, not mewl aimlessly over the format or mistakes of people's posts. Go shit up a DFW thread you tool.

Attached: 7tl56hse16d21.jpg (717x717, 66K)

It's just basic stuff that's useful for a new writer.

I hate weekends on Yea Forums

Why's that?

It slows to a crawl and most good discussion takes a vacation

people will laugh at (you)

published anything before? can i read one?

>good idea?
Yes.
>How should I continue?
He eventually spanks the ass of a mafia boss' son who's dressed up as a girl for an undercover mission for his (her) dad.
Eventually it just becomes full blown gay sex.

He spanks an ass in a crowd that feels unmistakably like his own and begins to obsess over his hunt to track down and confront its owner

>she said in a low, yet very feminine voice

Attached: cec.png (771x686, 26K)

dislike the other idea. came up with something better, but now i'm procrastinating on actually writing it. health has been super lousy lately. I'll probably throw myself outside in a bit where i won't have an internet connection and I'll write it there.

Attached: e0a75a9700874cf2c8dbe83927fb1a07.jpg (1200x765, 132K)

Alright, I wrote 3k words for it as a start. Not sure it's good enough but it's something.

It is odd isn't it? Isn't it normally the reverse? The slowing to a crawl part, good discussion absolutely disappears on the weekends across the board. What do you want to discuss user? What are you writing?
It's something indeed. Keep plugging away my man.

I'm getting increasingly frustrated by the mediocrity of my writing and my inability to balance word vomit and careful crafting. My initial flow is bland and boring, but when I go to edit and do my first rewrite I keep messing with it until I totally lose the original meaning. It's driving me up a wall.

But thou must!

For fuck's sakes, I'm 21k words in and I haven't even mention my main villain yet. I'm going to have to pull a fast mention when I re-edit this shit to make note of the fucker's existence

>Having a Main Villian.
Common Bruh

Main villains can be cool though. The drawback is that once the MV is dead there really isn't much to tell.

>Main villains can be cool though.
Can't deny that, especially if they are done well.

>The drawback is that once the MV is dead there really isn't much to tell.
Agreed, it's the reason why I don't have a "Main" Villains in my novels.

What's your story about.

Oh sorry I'm not
I was just lurking

My apologies, user.

I'm working on a novel about a small band of pan American socialists with revolutionary pretensions travelling across the shattered continent in search of a place to realize their vision.
I'm trying to focus more on the people than on the politics.
I'm about 30k words in which is probably around 10 percent completed.

I also have this idea for a much smaller project about a cheating ring in a high school chemistry class told in 5 sections of varying format that form a coherent story in any order, but the order would define how one experiences large sections of it. It sounds pretty dumb, and I'll concede that it probably is but If I did write it I'd write it to get into the habit of writing a lot more without butchering my other thing as well as to just enjoy the experience.

SIGH
Just might start writing children's books because my prose isn't good. Do children read. I want to write the Crime and Punishment for children

I have a story idea about another another universe that won't be connected to our own. The humans that developed there eventually turn to using nano technology to change their brains to crystalline brains allowing for them to integrate with computers shedding that last biological limitation. I wanted to see what a society would look like without any biological attachments existing mostly in virtual worlds and the ramifications of that.

I have no idea how to start though, I was thinking of a character that starts traveling through different virtual worlds looking for something. I have never written anything before so I am not sure.

Is it true that I should just start writing? I cringe hard at anything I put on paper.

Tried writing for pleasure for the first time yesterday and it was a lot of fun.

Attached: 636319345956925087-Jim-Carrey-beard-1.jpg (580x1031, 66K)

I'm trying to write an Isekai novel that attempts to fix everything that I think is wrong with modern Isekai novels, is it alright if I post a summary? I'm currently stuck with the writing of the second chapter because I can't figure out a proper resolution to one of the big early story conflicts between the protagonist and two side characters so I'd appreciate any advice fellow anons could give me.

Attached: 7720de30.jpg (184x184, 6K)

> its a slow process, but a good feel.

Slow and steady is the only way to make reliable progress over a long period of time.

If you know there's a problem you're better than most amateur writing. If you can see the problem you can work to improve it.

Children's literature is mainly bought and read by adults.

Think of a charter to have in this world, and think of a problem they could have that relates to this world. The story will be about them trying to overcome that problem.

>is it alright if I post a summary?

Sure, it sounds interesting.

Do it again but this tome try to get sexual pleasure from it.
>it's another isekai pretending to be better than the other isekais

I mean sure go ahead

I'm retarded, it's 10-30 pages doublespaced. Their other stories are in the 4k-5k wordcount range. I was thinking I needed more than that...well I'm almost done then. I'll probably aim for 6k because I have less dialogue than most.
>had idea on how to finish it last night
>remember there were two ways I could take it
>should i get out of bed and write it down?
>nah, i'll remember
>wake up, can't remember
I should put a notebook next to my bed.
>It's something indeed. Keep plugging away my man.
thank you fren. It was pretty comfy writing outdoors. Anons should try it. I was alternating between writing and reading Eight Scenes from Tokyo for the third time.

Attached: c7ab33ceb058183e279bdba77ab4e54f.jpg (427x604, 52K)

Pige

Thanks. I think I am overthinking it which is making me lose site of simple things.

page 8? bump.

>A ship was drifting nowhere near anywhere. There was no distress beacon, just a trail of debris in the void. John adjusted his viewfinder, trying to get a read on what the wreck could be. The shuttle’s computer scanned the debris for a docking point. It was sheer chance they found it. If they hadn’t dropped close enough for a visual, they would have missed it. It was a tangled mess of metal, hardly even recognizable as a ship. John mentally ran through every ship class he could think of but nothing matched. Sweat beaded on his brow. The suits never fit him right, always too tight around the neck. He traced his fingers along the outline of a necklace beneath his suit and mouthed a prayer to himself. He was calm again. “Do you think it’s an old ship, from before the war maybe?” His words echoed in the shuttle compartment.

Is this an interesting opening paragraph?

I would remove this sentence:
>It was sheer chance they found it.
No need to spell out everything. Also, it seems a bit nonsensical to identify "a tangled mess of metal, hardly even recognizable as a ship".

Needs a few editing rounds but it's not bad.

>Also, it seems a bit nonsensical to identify "a tangled mess of metal, hardly even recognizable as a ship".

What do you mean by that?

The follow-up question
>Do you think it’s an old ship, from before the war maybe?
makes no sense.

Thanks, I thought it was more clear. It's supposed to be a character who knows very little asking a character who knows a lot about ships. And the wreck is so damaged from the outside its just looks like a ball of scrap metal. I'll try and rearrange some stuff to make this more clear.

Link yt channel

I came out at 14 pages and 5k words. Needs an edit but it's essentially finished with a bittersweet ending. Feels good to have some work completed. Not sure if I'll win the contest, but oh well.

Attached: 4fa3c71526cbbb8593e7bd9a5ded030d.jpg (720x958, 94K)

Can you people please start posting in the critique threads more
Even if you have nothing to post, maybe out of the kindness of your hearts you could give feedback anyways
/write/ has pretty much drained them and there’s literally nowhere else on the internet to get to get honest, non-reddit feedback on works in progress. They slide right to page ten now unless someone takes the time to stand by with the bump-defibrillator

I dont consider myself knowledgable enough to give meaningful feedback, and i wouldnt want to post my stuff without giving any. Not to mention me being an insecure autist

That’s perfectly fine though, even if you’re just pretty much saying how the piece made you feel that can be really helpful to someone trying to figure a work out. It’s up to the author to decide what comments are worth altering or guiding the text for and which arent

what is reddit feeback?

Attached: 2019-05-13 12_25_05-Post your opening sentence. _ writing.png (851x310, 26K)

I'd translate it as pseudo intellectual feedback, but it's more a catch-all term for shitty. Reddit, to me, is awful because the people don't say things they believe, they say what people will respond positively too (upvote).

>people don't say things they believe, they say what people will respond positively too (upvote).
Yup, this is precisely what I meant

I really wish there were somewhere between Yea Forums and Reddit for getting critique. Yea Forums is a complete mess for it, you have no way to filter who you're receiving critique from. You have to hope someone in the audience you're writing for is there and happens to post a (you). Reddit, on the other hand, you can go to the right sub for it and are more likely to get some response and be able to tell who's responding, but the feedback is probably going to be vapid trash like "I like it, keep going. :)"

Anything else public is somewhere to the right of Reddit on that scale, with just complete peanut brains saying nothing of worth ever. If you want real, solid critique, I think you gotta go to some private cloister in the bowels of discord.

I think /write/ threads are just better. I want a place where people can discuss writing more generally, rather than just looking directly for feedback.

Okay, firstly a summary of what I've written so far.
>A man goes missing while out hunting game in his local forest. To the outside world he has seemingly just up and gone missing.
>From his perspective after bagging a kill, he's about to head back to his car when a thick fog rolls around out of nowhere and obscures his vision to the point he doesn't feel confident in going further at the risk of getting lost
>After setting up camp and sleeping through the night he wakes up to see a forest that's completely different to the one he found himself in last evening.
>He sets off with a lot of uncertainty after packing up the camp and figuring out where to head using the sun since his compass has gone haywire.
>Besides walking, most of his early journey is spent managing his dwindling supplies and figuring out how to get back to civilization.
>Anything weird like unfamiliar creatures and plant life is rationalized by his mind as being just some weird mutation and that he just happened to stumble into a part of the forest with an abundance of them. Seeing a three-legged crow for example just makes him shrug his shoulders thinking its a weird one out of the flock but in actuality is a shape-shifter in disguise.
>During his waltz through the forest he catches the attention of a pair of Elves™ who begin wondering what a human of all things is doing in their territory and decide to keep an eye on him.
>The Elves™ eventually set up a trap in the form of a magic sigil to catch him and interrogate him, leading up to a confrontation between the two parties.

Cont.

Attached: Pekka First Morning.png (735x1136, 882K)

You may think that's better but there are many people who don't want to just talk about their ideas, they want to nut up and actually show what they can do. Actual excerpts posted here get no feedback because why put the effort in to reading and responding to a thousand words someone worked on when you can just say "i love this idea" to someone's 70-word synopsis of a story they're never going to actually write?

Now, what are some of the things that make it different from most Isekai in terms of the overall plot and worldbuilding?
>Protagonist isn't a teenager or a NEET but a 30-something adult with a proper education, a job and a life outside of it.
>Protagonist doesn't attract every female just by being a decent person.
>Deities or other supernatural beings don't exist in this world contrary to what local religions preach.
>Everything the protagonist achieves is done with only his own physical ability and know-how.
>"Magic" is just another ever-present force of nature similar to physics and can only be wielded in any useful capacity by the few capable enough in it to not seriously hurt or kill themselves in the attempt which makes it so that powerful magic users are still considered trump cards, but they are still few enough that magic doesn't completely replace the use of traditional technology.
>The language barrier is the biggest source of conflict for at least the first half of the story alongside basic survival that can't be just magicked away. Body/sign language will be the protagonist's go-to form of communication with other people even if many misunderstandings occur due to cultural differences.
>A lot of the world-building in terms of countries is based on my readings on actual medieval history, so there's a lot of variety in forms of government and not every place is a monarchy.
>The new world's technological and societal progress in in something equivalent of our world's 15th century, so just coming out of the late middle ages and well into the Renaissance.
>Slavery is still a thing but most slaves seen are just serfs or house-servants and outside of maybe MENA-influenced regions of the new world open slave markets aren't really a thing.

Attached: Sissipuukko.png (1618x600, 1.42M)

>Actual excerpts posted here get no feedback because why

They do though? I've given and received feedback here.

Also, I agree people just posting summaries isn't ideal. But talking about writing, writing schedules, how to stay motivated and general writing advice is useful. A thread with just excerpts and responses is boring to read. It needs to have more content in between that.

This is just a setting. What's the actual story? What happens and to who?

Holy shit this post is sad. Not saying this to be mean of course, it just felt sad.
Why not mix /write/ and /critique/?
I don't mind reading someone's work but I would only be able to give "reddit" or shit feedback (not because of lazyness but because I don't have the experience nor knowledge to criticize anything unless the errors are really obvious).
And to be honest /write/ is also some kind of shitposting general I mean just look at this guy

I think the solution is just to combine /write/ and /crit/. /crit/ was too narrow. /write/ can be what /crit/ was and more. Where you can get feedback on your writing but also talk more generally about writing.

Exactly. /write/ is the only reason I come here anyway

The thing is, with /crit/ you can clearly state at the start that you need to respond to others if you're going to post your work. /write/ is more nebulous and that's harder to enforce or communicate to people who probably don't read the OP most of the time

There used to be no distinction between "writer threads" and "critique threads." Critique threads started getting made because nobody was giving critique, everyone was just bitching about writing being hard or ideaposting. I reiterate that if you want real critique you should put some effort into finding it and go find a discord group.

I don't want to post my stuff and most of what is in /crit/ is total garbage. I tried before but a lot of you guys are irredeemable. Yea Forums is the worst place to get a crit anyway.

No
I don't want a discord group
I want a place where I can respond to actual words others have written, have others respond to mine, and I want it to be anonymous
/write/ could easily be that place if only people actually responded and didn't just post and reply to short "idea" posts most of the time

So if you know a post criticizing your work is baseless and stupid, why are you bothered by it? Just move on and wait for the next one, eventually someone with something really helpful to say will show up. It's up to you what advice you take and discard, that's so obvious it just goes unspoken

Let's be part of the solution then. Post more and critique more.

Yeah, I should have probably posted links
fictionpress.com/s/3332766/1/The-Saga-of-A-Modern-Hunter-Gatherer
I only have the first chapter posted online, second one is still heavily work in progress with a lot of placeholder stuff so I'm not really confident in sharing it yet.

Attached: Nugget.png (1320x972, 703K)

You want to have your cake and eat it too. Reading shitty first drafts and telling people why they suck is hard, skilled labor - and if you think it isn't, I direct you back to the discussion about "Reddit feedback." People aren't going to do hard, skilled labor for you anonymously with any measure of consistency. Nut up and at least give them a name and maybe a profile picture to work with. Yea Forums is just not a good place for it.

I do, and have!
Except I know for a fact that myself and many others are willing to put that work in. In dozens and dozens of threads I've both given and received very thoughtful criticism from multiple posters. In fact, the better a piece of writing is, the longer people tend to stick with it, and the more in-depth your feedback will be.

I started writing a story about a nihilistic guy who just got out of uni, with the intention of taking the story wherever it makes sense to go; but with some valuable result at the end. Basically I want the moral of the story to be something about how to get out of the nihilism while not having the answer ready but trying to discover it while writing.

I'm kinda stuck now; the main character has a constant internal dialogue about the most random shit when he should be doing his job; a result of his boredom. I tried to create a situation in which he has it easy, and to then introduce alternatives that are harder to accommodate. He has a pushover gf, but then meets a girl with a rather dominant personality who he starts finding more appealing. He has a job where he does fuck all, and over time starts to consider that it's him taking it easy that's the problem.

I feel like I don't really know where to take it now though. I've done some stream-of-consciousness writing, which gets some content on the page which isn't necessarily even that bad (I think some of it is amusing), but doesn't progress the story much. I then tried to kinda force the plot by having someone basically tell him what's so shit about him and that he should "man up" but it feels really forced.
Also, I'm shit at dialog. Though I kinda like the really awkward dialogue at the date near the beginning: If it makes you cringe then you feel exactly like the main character is feeling so it's something.

At the same time all of this was basically just out of an idea of "I would like to be a writer, my first 20 works will be absolute shit, so let's just write it and absorb criticism to get better".

So please feel free to critique my shit:

pastebin.com/uyYJQWXB

I don't know if you know this but if you post your story online for free it basically makes it impossible for it to be traditionally published.

Actually wrong. I read and give feedback on plenty of stuff in these threads. What is it you want feedback on user? Just post it and ask, someone will give it to you if it's worth reading.
What are you even complaining about at this point?

You could try injecting the "yes, but" strategy into your stream of consciousness writing. He's trying to accomplish a goal, but there's some obstacle. He overcomes the obstacle, *but* in doing so, part of his plan goes wrong and a new source of conflict arises from that. It gets repetitive if you have it happen too much, but it keeps things moving between the bullet points on your overarching plan.

I have two pieces of advice for you, but i’ll start by saying I only read until your first spaced paragraph break (at 7, approx. 1000 words in).

first, in that 1000 words, what has actually happened? one, the narrator got on a bus. two, he got off of the bus. that’s it. there’s a lot of narration and we learn a lot of facts, but nothing happens at all.

you provide a ton of information about the narrator here but in a way that is honestly pretty boring. this goes to the basic “show, don’t tell” rule. you tell me a lot about the narrator in a thousand words. but it would be a lot more interesting if you showed me those same things through dialog. one example: it’s really tedious reading about his thoughts on his job while he’s riding the bus. it would be way more compelling to show him at work, interacting with his boss, and revealing to us through actions and dialog how he feels about it. you can convey the exact same thoughts but in a way that makes me care about the narrator and empathize, because who hasn’t had a shitty job they’re overqualified for?

the other thing i want to talk about is also pretty basic, but some of your writing is confusing on a pretty basic level. for example, i really have no idea what tense you’re writing in here. i noticed this with the first sentence: if i cut out descriptive words, you say, “it was a cold morning when a man had just got on the bus.” this doesn’t really make sense as English to me.

also, in paragraph 7, are you continuing the narrative from the previous six paragraphs or have we switched to a memory of when he first met the girl? if it’s the latter it takes way too long to figure that out and it’s confusing. (i acknowledge that in an actual book with chapter breaks this might be easier to follow but here it was confusing since the last action you described was the narrator entering the train station... and then suddenly he’s just getting off of the bus again and crossing the street)

write more, read more. keep at it. you’re giving me good characterization and a character that may very well have some interesting stories to tell, but in a way that’s hard to read in more than one way.

Got a "We like your work and would like to see more of it" from a Paris Review rejection so that was encouraging about my developing style. I submitted 3 sonnets, 1 long poem, and 2 that were a bit uniquely structured, and after that feedback I submitted 6 sonnets from the same sequence I've been working on. They wrap up nicely from 1-6 just in this smaller selection alone.

Themes are the relation between art and violence, mediation and immediacy, abstract and figurated interpretation of the world and our moment

Sounds interesting. Can you post anything here?

Compound words: open, hypenated, or closed?
lunch break
lunch-break
lunchbreak
sports car
sports-car
sportscar
sea snake
sea-snake
seasnake

please help. Naturally I find myself doing everything as closed compounds but autocorrect hates my guts.

I mean spellcheck, not autocorrect. Sorry. I'm going crazy here. It seems like open is more generally accepted but it just sounds wrong to me.

Depends on the specific case, I'd say. Out of those, I'd choose
>lunch break
>sportscar
>seasnake

/write/, if my main character spends the whole book kind of negative and in a justifiably shitty mood are people going to hate him?

My character's supposed to be a sarcastic rageaholic with crippling insecurity issues, but I want people people to sympathize and become invested in his perseverance.

To anyone who reviews submissions, it's going to look just like 75% of the works they receive from young men

What kind of work should I write nowadays if I want to be read?
I'd like to be a writer, I'm likely to be a talented one, but I'm not sure about the starting place.

You’re in for a wude arakening my friend

I'm supposing that 75% is a subset of the 90% that's rejected right off the bat?

It would lower the likelihood for certain. Not total exclusion, if it’s really something great someone will notice, but it definitely raises the bar for yourself

then what can I do to maintain the character's bitterness without hurting my chances?

I know I want to turn that anger away from other people so he doesn't look like an asshole, but the problem is my character is basically a self-insert and I'm not able to see him from the outside looking in

I would say sea snake.

Naturally tangled inside his social den of sexual schizodia, Tacoma felt broken, deprived of cosmic channels that most of his peers seemed to have just recently tapped into. “What would I say to my kid if he asked me if I liked Oasis?” he thought, with eyes glazed over and his mind waiting stagnant in a car with a curious child that didn't even really exist. He had been up for hours and felt the unknowable [beat]further push his heart against his breastplate -- allowing him to feel the guilt of a crime not yet committed to a child whose entire potential could be warped by the answer, “You know, I was never that big into Brit Pop”. Credible context seemed to avoid these thoughts, although this one was held together by a healthy sense of comedy that had been missing for what seemed like days.

Yellow light had begun to seep in through the windows of his living room, opening up the mental fog left from last night’s amphetamine binge. Tacoma looked for his watch under cushions. He finally located and lassoed it onto his little brittle wrist whilst reading 7:57 AM.

>naming a character after the shithole that is tacoma

Could you explain a bit more about this?

Publishing companies don't see the point in investing in something people already get for free.

Does this make a good opener? I think it sets up names, actions and setting fairly well.

Attached: Detail.png (747x329, 27K)

What about all those Japanese ones that always get first published as web novels and then manage to get a publishing deal? I heard that's actually the main way new Isekai authors get a publishing deal to begin with and why the market is currently so saturated with them.

Attached: th.jpg (474x474, 45K)

It's okay when Japan does it.

What if I stop publishing it online? Also what if only the first chapter is available

Thanks for the advice. Empty lines were meant to be chapter breaks basically; so perhaps that clears it up when it comes to paragraph 7.

I think your critique that I should show rather than tell is on point; I think it gets better over time but especially at the start that's an obvious problem now that I re-read it with your critique in mind, so I'll try to fix that.

I can see where you're coming from with it being confusing. English is not my first language (I chose to write in English so I could post on places like this) but I should know better in cases like the the example you posted.

It seems good, but a typo in the very first word leaves a bad impression.

I'm embarrassed.

I only write a diary. Been doing for about 1 year and it's funny how I got more mature

I'm currently outlining a book that's pretty much an adaptation of my friends group's last DND campaign. It focuses on Divinity through the question on what happens to a paladin after he discovers that he's on the same genetic level of the deity he worships.

Pls no bully.

Wasn't Metro 2033 published online a chapter at a time because no publisher wanted it and then when it became popular they all wanted it so when it was published it had the final chapter that wasn't put up online in it and everybody bought it?
I seem to remember that.

>same genetic level of the deity he worships
>no bully

What the hell does it matter if on a genetic level he's the same as his deities? They're still gods right? You're going to have to define a lot of shit before you even start thinking about the story

Do you know anything about DND rules?

No I don't. Maybe I didn't understand what you meant in your first post.

In DND rules, a paladin gets their power by being good servants of a deity. The big twist in the story is that not only is the big bad the father of the god the paladin worships, but that he's the paladin's father as well. So it basically results in the paladin throwing aside his relationship with his god in order to set the world right.

Just make him an active character. As long as he actually does things to try and improve his situation, rather than being passive, it could be ok.

Ohhhh I see.
I definitely misunderstood what you meant in your first post.
I thought you were writing about a paladin learning during one of his adventures that the God he worships is basically just like him except that he has godlike powers. You know the whole immature or greedy or jealous god type of things. Where the only thing making him divine is his powers but when it comes to his personnality and mind and way of thinking he's just like any other human being.
Yeah I like the idea of a demi-god learning of his origins and vowing to fight his evil progenitor. Not original but since you're using the DND setting it might be interesting. Are you planning on letting the MC keep his paladin powers without worship or does he get some kind of powerup? Actually I said demi-god but he could also be a regular god.

how many ideas have been stolen on here

Attached: 1514968254981.jpg (241x198, 4K)

If you become extremely successful it could work. Otherwise, it won't.

>implying my ideas are worth stealing
I'd be so flattered I'd blush.

i bet your heart is worth stealing too :3

Ideas aren't that important. It's more about execution. A mediocre idea well written is infinitely better than an amazing idea poorly executed.

>get to read my novel
>don't even have to write it
I write because nobody writes the stories I want to read. If somebody did, I wouldn't have to write.

Please steal my ideas.

fucking faggots stealing the bandwith

Haven't seen a singe "idea" here worth stealing

Stop it you pig

jokes on you im not even butterfly
thanks for the (you), brothers

Well he doesn't use it to fight the bad guy. He turns against humanity since the humans are primarily worshippers of goddess of war and fucked up most of the other races. He, in fact, replaces the evil bad dad in the end. It then delves into multiverse shenanigans where he tries to exterminate all believers of the goddess.

>ideas take 5 seconds to think up and 5 months to write
Do you "steal" pennies off the ground, too?

>all these people getting defensive over being asked how many ideas here have been stolen
SILENCE, THIEVES

Updated, still unfinished but I think it's really coming along. I don't want to say much about it and instead just hear what people think going in blind.
It's only a little over 1000 words

pastebin.com/cFuS69Tj

Attached: osprey opening.png (1124x952, 148K)

I swear I've never stolen any ideas posted here.

wrote some poems. is it normal for only like 1 in 3 to be decent?

Yes, poetry is very difficult. You can't expect it to be perfect every time. It takes time and conscious effort.

Maybe I'm an idiot but I don't get it. I guess there is some deeper symbolism to the osprey that I'm missing, but I just don't understand what point you're making. Some of the writing is unclear but overall it has a comfy feel, I think it just needs to be more clear and concise. Also, the dialogue is improperly formatted.

There’s no symbolism or anything like that, maybe it’s not clear enough what’s going on yet but I’m hoping that the reader will slowly realize along that there’s something very odd at work. I think it’d be ruined if I spelled it out but I’ll work on guiding the reader to that realization sooner
Would you mind saying which parts in particular you found could be clearer or more concise?
Thanks much for giving it a read and some feedback, I really appreciate it!

>not being able to comprehend metaphorical stories told in old fashion, that revolve around major events and have themes and moral guidance attached to them to be passed down generations

Attached: gutslaughingcusuraretard.jpg (951x1024, 276K)

this isn't working out /write/. My character's personalities aren't coming across in my writing, and the ones that are coming across are insufferable. half my main cast has no character arc, and the arcs that do exist are being handled poorly.

this whole thing is going to be a flop, i can feel it

don't lose faith user. make an outline of your character. by this i mean give them a goal, and more importantly a theme. this goal and their respective theme will either coexist or create conflict with other character goals/themes. your dialogue should naturally form between them from that relationship

Attached: potential.png (1210x1202, 1.6M)

There's nothing wrong with pulp.

>Would you mind saying which parts in particular you found could be clearer or more concise?

The first paragraph is especially unclear.

>The surface bowed under the rush of air, quietly took in the eight talons, and erupted as it gave up a thrashing sick-silver hull.

What is the "surface?" Is it referring to a fish, a bird, the surface of the water? From the way you've phrased, it's very unclear. Even after reading the whole thing I still don't really know what this sentence means.

>Oliver sat on his bench and squinted as the duo stole off into the sky behind the trees, steady wings framings a violent dance.

This is a bit better, it's good to introduce a character as early as possible. But referring to the birds as a duo is needlessly obtuse and confusing. Just say what they are.

After that, it gets better but clarity is really important, especially in the beginning. If I wasn't reading to critique I probably would have given up after the first sentence desu. However after having read it, I do think it has promise, it just needs a lot of polish and refining.

I usually write most of my character arcs after the first draft. I get all of the plot points in place and then weave the character arcs throughout the story as I'm rewriting. You need to be aware of character as you're drafting, especially for your main character, but you can just add it in subsequent drafts.

the main character's arc is down, but im struggling to get his persistent anger down without making him seem like an annoying incel asshole. its the rest of the characters who lack arcs or properly-expressed personalities

Read Character & Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card.

Reeee been trying to gain an audience on Reddit but nothing catches their attention besides shitty first person YA scifi stories. I'm so pissed

Try posting something here. Maybe it's shit and you need someone to be honest with you.

I'm writing a fanfiction on an anime because I want to start somewhere to get a decent grip on writing first before moving onto my own stuff fully.

>admitting to using r*dd*t

I used to post in /crit/ and get okay to good reviews. You niggas blew smoke up my ass. You're the problem

It's a good idea. A lot of people start with fan fiction. Focus on improving your grammar and the clarity of your writing. Even if what you write is shit if it's clear, concise and in proper English, you're more likely to get constructive feedback.

Why do you even want an audience on Reddit? If what you have is good enough try and find an agent and a publisher.

I mean, the thing is, I'm already good at writing and conveying scenes. My teachers in secondary school praised me for that and it was through my creative writing alone (not really, but it carried the rest of it) that got me a GCSE in English.

And yeah, I started a fanfiction last year that got some decent attention, but I canned it because I had unreasonable expectations. The problem right now is that I don't have any feedback this time, except from my brother, so I'm kind of dead in the water and losing hope. I've asked some people to review it but it's been 3 weeks since I messaged them and I don't know any other sites to upload to other than fanfiction.net.

You could look into joining a local writing group, or one on discord or something.

Let me push back a bit and you tell me if I’m being too stubborn:

With the opening scene I was trying to place the focus on the images and motions Oliver is seeing instead of just spelling out that there’s a bird catching a fish. The narrative point of view stays pretty distant from Oliver’s mind for most of the story, and when it does get inside his head, I want it to feel more abstract and almost call to mind the process of image recognition, focusing on form and motion rather than semantics. A big theme of the story is the brain trying to understand something that it isn’t equipped to process so I think it will be useful later down the line if I set that up now.
I felt justified in leaving it vague because I think I end up doling out all the necessary information soon after anyways. You know it involved a bird and a fish because he tries to identify both, you know it happened in a lake because he explicitly says it to Tanya, and I don’t think there’s anything sensical that the “surface” could be referring to other than the water, especially once you know that it was in a lake.

If that makes sense at all let me know, and if you still think it could use some more clarity I’ll take a shot at making the scene more explicit. Thanks again for taking the time to respond

I was thinking of moving my work elsewhere, I just don't know where. A writing group sounds like a good idea, but as far as I know they don't facilitate fanfictions and I haven't had the best experiences with discord to make me go back there. I know a disqus group or two I could post to, but the people on there are a majority of retards.
I don't know what to do, except keep looking and writing.

You could just stop writing fanfiction. Or even adapt your fanfiction into something non-fanfiction.

I could. I have several ideas for stories, but they're all long winded tales. The fanfictions I have in mind are shorter and would end sooner. I might move to wattpad and post there and to fanfiction.net.
Hell, why don't I also start writing one of my original works too? What's the worst that can happen?

>You're the problem
Nah, that would be you cowboy. Fuck off back to R*ddit

>local writing group
what's your experience with these? anyone? i can only imagine they're full of the pseudiest pseuds you ever saw. salinger would shout at the top of his lungs until he fell dead. "Phony!"

god, i just checked meetup for my city and the writing groups have thousands of members. are there really this many people trying to writefag in the world? how the hell can anyone get published like this?

>thousands of members
>on an online group
>how the helle can anyone get published like this?

Are you seriously asking this question? I'm sure 90% of those retards have barely done anything besides "oh my god the other day I was listening to that "epic music world - tears of a nation [EPIC MUSIC UPLIFTING EPIC ROYALE]" music on youtube and I got a kick ass scene in my head I soooo want to write about it". They're nothing to be scared about

would they really join a group to meetup based on a 2 minute whim and then never actually go? i mean, i don't understand how normalfags operate. you're saying most of those people are not actually writing anything, they just signed up for more spam email on impulse?

I'm not saying that they're not writing anything. And I'm not saying that they all joined "on a whim". I don't know how meetup works exactly but if it's just a group where people can set up meetings for "writers" and it has thousands of members then I have a hard time believing that there is decent number of those members who actually produce quality content.
>they just signed up for more spam email
You think soccer moms check their emails?

Love the opening sentence and paragraph. will read more soon

So, you're writing Finnegans Rainbow?

Yes, that is exactly how normalfags operate. They move from thing to thing at the blink of an eye, and God forbid something require actual effort. They'll talk about it but never actually do any of the work, and then table it basically forever. People dont even take hobbies seriously anymore, it's all just vicarious experiences boiled down into 2 minute videos.

u b m p

I'm making an attempt to write a Sci-Fi novel but I honestly have no idea where to start. Right now I only have fragments split apart in a bunch of different hard drives.

Any suggestions or tips on how to make this a reality?

Plan, outline, write, revise, write, revise, revise outline, write, revise, write, revise outline again, write, revise... I think you get the point, yeah? Re-read some of your favorite sci-fi stories, or any stories really, and figure out where they start and WHY. What makes their beginning chapters engaging, what draws you in? Take Starship Troopers, for example, it starts off explosive, with the protagonist wreaking havoc on an unknown planet, a veritable God of war causing mass death with the flick of his wrist. It's exciting and tense, and when it flashes back to his earlier life you're engaged and desire to know more. Puns aside, it gets you interested in this idealistic young kid's journey to becoming a living death machine, and is a very effective opening. Actively reading is incredibly important in learning how to structure and compose your stories.

that's pretty fascinating. any longform essays on it? i have absolutely no idea what normalfags even do, i just assume they wageslave and watch netflix.

They honestly just go to work, where they have their little inside jokes and gossip and conversations, then they go home, eat, turn on some show and then browse Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat on their phones until they go to bed. It's sort of soul crushing when you think about it. But I wont say they're devoid of humanity. Working anywhere (aside from where I work, where I have zero human interaction) you develop relationships, talk to people pretty extensively, and build your skills professionally. Of course theres competition, cliches and gossip, but there's still a lot of life in the workplace. It's not as soulless as people imagine. My job is pretty soulless, but it's the most Yea Forums job I've ever had since I get to write and read as much as I want, free from distraction. I'm nighttime security guy for reference.

They get drunk a lot and whine about anyone who isn't present as if they hate that person, then when that person is present they're buddy-buddy and talk shit about someone else.
Normies scare me.

It's generally meaningless. It's just something to talk about, and normies have this attitude that silence is something to be avoided at all costs. They dont actually hate the person, generally dont even dislike them, they just gossip because it's an easy topic that everyone can pitch in on and feel included. Theres not too much to read into honestly, most people are very shallow.

Writing a piece a short fiction for practice.
Writing a short story.
SciFi
Stand by Me but Post Apocalyptic.

>Stand by Me but Post Apocalyptic.
Sounds comfy.

Should be. It'll mostly star children, so I'm not sure how far I want to go with it.

Update. I made an outline and wrote 3 thousand words of the small project yesterday. To avoid spreading myself too thin, I'm not going back to the main one until I've either finished or deleted the smaller project.

I just don't get it. Why? NPC meme isn't a meme, man.

Because they are not very intelligent (even though some of them are moderately intelligent) and they're not very curious or creative.

Some people just aren't wired to be interesting and insightful. That's not wrong. They're not bad people. You shouldn't disdain them just for that.

But they are boring people.

I've been inspired to write about the dog Laika who was shot into space by the USSR because of this video.

youtube.com/watch?v=C0W-OPptdkw

Writing a satirical post-cyberpunk novel that's centered around Surveillance Capitalism and polarization. It's my first one, so i'm not expecting it to be a masterpiece, but i've written and discarded four drafts and am currently on one that I like (i'm going to go back to work on it once I post this). Yey.

Any chance anyone knows how to get this? I never had the need to get one so I don't really know where to look. Torrents are no good, and to be honest, I think 15 bucks for the whole thing is way too much.

Attached: 1557425882945.jpg (445x264, 39K)

never saw the point in those stupid things. read a few and the advice will get you a mediocre, formulaic hunk of shit. just read good literature.

Attached: Screenshot (52).png (828x195, 26K)

catalog sure is shit today. got a lot of work done in the past few days and lots more to go. going to end up rewriting this novel a hundred times but I have some short stories done.

Attached: DzC9WmVVYAAy06m.png (902x950, 892K)

Yea Forums really has fallen these past few days

bump

Boy these threads didn't last very long did they?

write pic related but with more rape, gunpowder snortin, and murdering noncombatants and how that’s what society should be

Attached: 16C6B48E-2413-424D-9A28-BE8F5418D0FD.jpg (332x499, 34K)

Reminder that instead of creating maps, character sheets, or a synopsis of a character's backstory, you could actually be writing your story instead of "worldbuilding."

Attached: 1495588755253.jpg (603x642, 44K)

>visible smoke-like effect
This is unnecessary. There aren’t conditions that are obscuring vision so “visible” is not needed. Use more metaphors.
>He breathed smoke in the near-freezing January morning
“Extraordinary large puddle” is also redundant since you already characterized it as a “mire in front of the bus stop.”
Also,I find it weird he was not pissed about his pants, since you drew attention to them being new.
>Adam winced as the cold water splashed his new pants. He had been wearing for under an hour and now they were soiled. Another inconvenience to add to exams week: a trip to the laundromat, ten minutes away. “Fuckdammit!” He glared at the perpetrator...
I used to live in NYC and studied in a private uni so I get the mood. Snow fucking sucks, the laundromat fucking sucks, and school fucking sucks. That’s the life of the commuter without a car. So that scene of gray fit my life perfectly.
>The sky, the blocks, and the streets were gray. The gutters were brown with shit-snow. Adam felt the colors as he stared into the empty.

Fucking A right. Worldbuilding should be in service of narrative, not the other way around.

jokes on you, i do neither of those things
why is planning so difficult?

Because you overthink it

how do I stop doing it

just b.e. yourself

Attached: wojack cry.jpg (700x700, 68K)

I've been planning out writing a story about a guy who joins up with a semi-secretive organized crime group with a strict hierarchy system based on the standard deck of playing cards, i.e. Aces on top then royals, etc. But I have absolutely zero self confidence and I hate everything I write so it's a slow process

Attached: 1557691368060.jpg (469x359, 15K)

"Sometimes the story is so boring that the world it takes place in is far more interesting."

Adolf Shakespear (2012)

I wish I had the time to really work on some of my ideas but I don't.

Crime and Punishment is already written for children.

only 5 autists here have the strength of character to close the porn tabs and actually get to work.
also this

Slow it down somewhat. Our protagonist is in no rush, is he? Making contact with a derelict ship should be a tense and gradual process.

I am working on a response to an assertion that there is a conspiracy to control human society led by Reptoid space aliens.

>that rebarrel
>that muzzle brake
>that non-issue sling

Attached: no_thanks1.png (1231x812, 788K)

While yes, that ain't you

This

Maybe your writing is utter trash, regardless of what the internet thinks

>I would prefer a female though
Yeah, no, pathetic. Motherfucker needs to get laid pronto. Both author and character.

im thinking of re-writing my last scene. I liked it, but it made my main character look too good and it forced me to pad shit out to get him to the breakthrough I wanted

I have 9k words now. I'm speeding along, but I'm not sure if what I'm making is any good. I am enjoying the experiment though.

Failure to plan is planning to fail user. Don't get too caught up in the fun of a new idea or you'll end up with 15k words that all have to be rewritten and lose your motivation.

I did make an outline of it, and If I feel im forcing things out I'll work on a different section. That said, I don't know if the project even really has any potential.

Exactly what i'm going for.

/writer/s, I need some help. Please tell me which one of these you like the most and why, or rank them in order from best to worst. I'm thinking of writing a collection of them, just little super short stories, but I need to see what cool non-r*ddit (*ftu* *ftu*) people like.

>STORY 1:
As Chevelles (Pronounced Chevelles) is prepairing to walk up the
stairs, he sees a woman at the top. He pulls out his Mauser
Construktion 96 Broomhandle pistol and shoots her 10 times, two
times in the legs, six in the chest, one in the neck, and one in the
head. She dies almost instantly, her body flopping to the bottom of the
stairs, between Chevelles's legs. He kicks her in the head.
- "Gon' think twice befo' ya' startle me again, bitch," he says, with a
thick french accent.

>STORY 2:
"I am sure that you will all join me in welcoming, with warm applause,
Comrade Donald J.J.J. (J. Jonah Jameson) Trump, general secretary
of the Communist party of the People's Republic of the United States
of America, as well as the event organizer for the Union of the Unions
of the Socialist states of the Americas.
I will now clap. Clap clap clap clap."

>STORY 3:
"Ecology? Disgusting. Ecology is nothing but biology, but for the
narrow minded. And biology is nothing but chemistry, but for the small
minded. Chemistry is but physics, for the smaller minded. Physics is
mathematics for the mini minded. Mathematics philosophy, for the
don't mind me, just passing through, friend."

>STORY 4:
"I take lint from the vacoom, paint it pink, and sell it to retarded
children at the park for crack. I sell the crack to the crack addicts
behind our building. I've earned over two thousand dollars so far."
"Very smart, very cool, very positive, very very, but why not cut out the
middleman and just sell the lint to the retarded children for money?"
"I asked them for money first, but the crack dealer gets to them before
I do. He wakes up earlier, I am not fast enough. He takes all their
money and gives them crack. All the crack, which is why I can sell it
to the crack addicts behind our building, because he stopped selling to
them."
"Wow. That is very queer."

Attached: noooo.jpg (500x500, 8K)

>shoots her 10 times
>accurate enough to shoot legs. chest, throat and head
>all while she's still standing
>only when he's done shooting that she finally falls

Even a 6'4" 250lbs guy would fall to the ground after a 2 bullets especially if the legs are shot first.

Second story is cringe.
Third sounds like garbage.
Fourth doesn't make sense but it's the least cringe and boring.

>non-r*ddit (*ftu* *ftu*) people

Not my fault you're trying to write shit.

>non-r*ddit (*ftu* *ftu*) people

you gotta go, pal

Alright I'll give you my "non-r*ddit (*ftu* *ftu*)" opinion on your super short story ideas ok? *wink wink*

Story 1 : I like this idea of using the shock value of the guy killing her for no other reason than because she startled him. It also serves as a joke, very clever and funny.
Story 2 : I like this idea of making Donald trump into both a socialist and a communist. It's very clever and also funny because it's the complete opposite of his character.
Story 3 : I like this idea where you criticize every scientific field without ever giving a superior alternative at the end going as far as to even forget the idea as a whole. It's very clever and funny.

Story 4 : I like this idea because you're basically criticizing the impact of legalized marijuana on black neighbourhoods. It's very funny and clever.

They're all interesting, funny and clever. Can't wait for you to post them here so I can give you an in-depth criticism of your strengths and weaknesses ( I'm sure you have none of the latter).

I like the
>I like
>I like
>I like
>I like
>It's very clever and also funny
>It's very clever and funny
>very clever and funny
>They're all interesting, funny and clever

But I don't like how you missed the point of every single one.

Attached: noooo.jpg (500x500, 7K)

>you missed the point of every single one

Glad to see I'm not alone.

Start a war.
BTW count words not pages

Yes, they are very esoteric

they're all shit you fucking retard.

Finally some non-plebbit critique. Based, thanks

Shit, forgot the cool jpeg image

Attached: noooo.jpg (500x500, 7K)

On temporary hiatus from current main project and chipping away at the pile of short stories mouldering in my In Progress file so I can get those monkeys off my back.

I find writing anywhere that's not home improves productivity in most circumstances. Helps eliminate the minor mental distractions that inevitably crop up. Even just writing in a room that's not my bedroom helps. And yes, you should keep a notebook near your bed.

>you should keep a notebook near your bed.
I've procured one. I've also been going outside to write now that the weather is warm. There's a community area for the building with actual furniture. Sitting in a chair is quite the luxury.

What kind of short stories are you doing? I just submitted one yesterday to a free contest (already closed btw) about a young couple who work 70 hour weeks in high stress careers who decide to ragequit and go live in a tourist town on the shore working part time jobs. It's bittersweet which is apparently the happiest I can do. They end up in poverty, but happy. There's two more contests this month I want to try writing something for. Do you send your stories anywhere or just let them collect? I still don't know the value of these things.

Attached: 25f9aee29dc6dcdc31000d63d738243b.jpg (736x745, 54K)

No publisher would ever take you on if they knew you're considering it a refuge from your personal incompetence. How young are you considering your target 'children'? YA? Picturebooks? In between? Those are all wildly different markets.

AO3 is deathly afraid of giving anything that's less than glowing feedback even if you ask for it, Wattpad is full of 12 year olds writing RPF and self-insert stories, and FF is mostly autistic teenagers posting their Sonic/Naruto harem crossovers. There's not really a "good" place for fics online, just varying forms of terribleness.

>What kind of short stories are you doing?
Porn. Writing porn for myself was my motivation for getting into writing and over time a desire to be a better writer in general arose from that, so I've extended into aspects other than the porn itself, but the porn continues to be the primary motivation.

Wherever I go, there must also be dick.

Avatarfagging is against GR13.

Attached: 1544637271780.jpg (540x572, 70K)

I only avatar fag for purposes of not needing to repeat myself every time people see my posts and ask "what are you writing." I don't post with it otherwise.

If mods want to ban me they can go right ahead. Maybe my productivity will increase.

Critiquing requires time and energy and the bigger the work the more of it it demands. I don't bother with critique threads because if I have to spend all that time and energy and sit through reading something I'm not interested in or that is simply amateurish then I want compensation.

If the critique threads are barren then there aren't enough anons that are interested in them, simple as that. That is how imageboards like this works. This thread isn't stealing any anons away and we aren't your personal spoonfeedback army.

You are essentially complaining about not getting something for free. Some anons might enjoy critiquing enough to do it for free, but as the saying goes: "You get what you pay for."

Consider that critique a freebie.

For me the hardest part of critiquing is keeping it within 3000 characters.

I like critiquing work because it forces me to think about WHY I am recommending people do certain things. It's a more reflective way of thinking about writing, and the fact that it is someone else's work gives you a bit of professional distance.

I don't critique poetry and I don't critique things that are very badly written. It usually takes me 30 or 40 minutes to write a good critique post, depending on how hard it is for me to narrow down my most salient complaints of the work.

The problem with critique threads is that most of what is in them is bad in the same way, and so you're just giving the same advice 10 times.

>writing an isekai that breaks away from the common genre tropes
>uses "The Saga of" in the title
user, have you heard of "The Saga of Tanya the Evil"? You might want to have a gander at it.

Attached: Y%C5%8Djo_Senki_light_novel_volume_1_cover.jpg (263x378, 23K)

Critique is easy af. Original composition is much harder. The reason why anons don’t criticize is because they are lazy. Every thread on /pol/ is a critique of society and government, but they require only a modicum of intelligence to write.

Why dont you fuck off back then, retard.

Stop projecting. If retards can write critiques you can too

hey guys critique my novel idea: stream of conciousness of a guy who's a 30 years old virgin who falls in love with a curly brown haired great pair of tits (you can see her nipples poke through the shirt) starbucks cashier. He approaches her and they start talking, and he introduces her to lookism and shows her how his recessed chin is responsible for pretty much all his failures in life (recessed chins are correlated with lower iq and low attractiveness). the girl ends up offering pity sex for him and he agrees. they sex in the bathroom but she notices he has a tiny 5.5 inches penis. she laughs and says "is it in?" and then notices he's crying and says she doesn't really mean it but the damage is done: he runs away with his dick dangling all over the place. he goes and kills himself by jumping in front of a car. in the epilogue this girl is with a chiseled jawed dude and they discuss the episode (she's feeling guilty). they end with her feeling liberated when this dude brad makes her have an epiphany about how it was actually the guy's fault, if he had confidence in his penis he wouldn't be so offended by her laugh.
so what you guys think? this is the outline and i'm writing chapter one: it's the main character stream of conciousness when waking up from sleep paralysis

Retarded critique is useless, you faggot, kind of like you. And stop using buzzwords you dont understand, it shows how stupid you really are.

>buzzword
Buzzword.

You're a fag and I slept with you're mum last night.

Thank you for admitting you have nothing intelligent to say. You could have saved us so trouble by admitting it earlier.

I'm not that guy btw but your a reatd dude.

Kys yourself retard, i'm not a faggot.

I don't have to kiss myself, you're mum kisses my bunghole.

Feels good brah.

That's really fucking gay dude. Anal pleasure huh. Faggooooooottt!!!! I knew you were projecting.

>unga bunga anal pleasure gay
Inferior oaf.

>The problem with critique threads is that most of what is in them is bad in the same way, and so you're just giving the same advice 10 times.
This, I have been wondering if it is possible to create some kind of "common critiques" chart for all these very common patterns of feedback.

I never said I find critiquing hard. Calling us lazy because we value our time and choose to spend it on our own interests instead of yours is not going to help your case here, friend. The line of logic you use is typical of the millennial mindset of entitlement, you somehow try and find a way to criticize people for not doing things for you for free.

We don't owe you shit friends, not even easy shit. Maybe you should stick to posting on /pol/, they have the intellectual sophistication that is more your speed.

New thread

>This, I have been wondering if it is possible to create some kind of "common critiques" chart for all these very common patterns of feedback.
That's not a bad idea.

I'm trying to produce some general materials for /write/ and a "basic tips to improve your prose" thing would be handy.