How do I write a non-cringey sex scene?

This. An implication of one makes it less unnatural than a scene which is described. Makes your content also pass the age rating filters too which can increase the number of readers of a story.

If you aren't writing erotica then it probably won't add anything to the story, so don't write it. If you really think it will add something do what says.

I mean it's pretty fucking easy, I'm not going to write an entire one for you but just write one like. I was in her arms, my male genitalia of creation went into her cunt of life consumption, stealing my seeds like the solar anus since she was on her pill. This was our excess energy which we were depleting to save the world from war. I smelled her hair, it smelled like a fish you had caught yourself from the shore. I touched her skin, it felt like the sweaty floor of an indoor football field, with the smell of your bros. We were a duality becoming one, a color.
Just write like that and it gets easy and incredibly well written, good prose and very deep!

Attached: love.jpg (602x339, 51K)

Lool

avoiding cringe because youre worried your gay online friends will make fun of you is absolutely cringe and bluepilled. accept that live is cringe you fucking faggot

What wimps don’t understand is that there is something inherently cringey about sex. It’s not about writing around it, but through it. It takes a lot of hard concentration to penetrate past the protesting cringe and flood the senses with seeds of creativity

Attached: FF2D5FD8-B4A5-4973-8976-10055F54A728.gif (500x277, 678K)

Multiple drafts. Choreograph it first, then read through and change things until the presentation is right.

I was 15 years old and pinned against my new girlfriends wall. she crawled inside my mouth, leading with her tongue, my eyes wide open watching this creature make a meal of me. with her one hand on the back of my neck, the other caressed the local swelling behind my catholic uniform slacks. Her nimble fingers made quick work of the button and zipper, and before I could react, my naked cock was in her hand. she stroked it randomly, amateurly. but the feel of foreign, cool skin hugging my bare throbbing cock was a sensation that dominated the years I spent mastering the craft in solitude. her uniform sweater hung long on her arms, bunching up at the hand she used to submit me. i began to think how awful it would be if I ruined her sweater. I attempted to warn her, but the words were pushed back into my throat by her persistent tongue. I was reduced to merely a thumping heart, trembling knees, and incomprehensible noises. Less than a minute later I came for her. I could feel her delight as her focused lips turned to a smile. Her stroking became more deliberate with each rope of cum I pumped out. I could tell she liked the feeling of the cum moving through my cock, and she grasped it in such a way to increase the intensity. When my senses returned we looked into each other’s eyes and we laughed out of playful embarrassment. Her sleeve, as expected, was a casualty, as was her uniform skirt, her stockings, and her area rug. I felt no shame, only a sense of obligation that I needed to return the favor.

>I could tell she liked the feeling of the cum moving through my cock

Attached: F09D030C-21A9-4BDF-8C4F-72C21E7B9E72.gif (480x360, 1.12M)

Implication. I don't think Lolita had a single sex scene. I remember the first time reading have a tough time discerning whether or not Hummy actually did the deed until he straight up said they had intercourse like 5 times that first morning.

The scene on the davenport

Attached: EE7FB6EC-2313-4E83-8331-4BE55B2D6F01.jpg (421x421, 62K)

No it definitely does. It's decently explicit

They hadn't even kissed at that point?
Where? It's been a while but I remember distinctly how Humbert never actually describes anything more than caressing her or simply touching or kissing her.

When they go to the hotel with the tennis instructor I think is the first time
She seduces him

They definitely have sex that first morning after he picks her up from camp and literally every night after that, but I'm pretty sure he never actually describes the act of sex anywhere in that novel. It's part Humbert's traditional and conservative character.

>They hadn't even kissed at that point?

That’s the best scene! He blows a mega load in his robe by rubbing up against her butt omg probably the greatest description of orgasm in literature

Attached: 19E67DE9-BB7C-486D-8055-1A097D06CC20.jpg (600x600, 29K)

I vividly remember Humbert non-nonchalantly (perhaps proudly) claiming to the reader that they had intercourse multiple times that morning. He doesn't describe the act like OP is asking, he rather just states it plainly, probably as a form of staking his claim, making sure the reader knew that Lolita was his property and that he would protect.

Sniff panties

Attached: 1061E13D-911E-4ADB-9F93-5D3514F2C63C.jpg (960x638, 105K)

Your right. I do recall Humbert describing the act of hiding his member beneath the thin pajamas and robe. Still I don't think Humbert ever actually described having sex with Lolita in any real detail.

I could definitely be wrong

i wrote a sex scene once and i'm still haunted by it.

Write what you know.

came here to say this. Don't write a sex-sex scene. Write a sex scene without describing it as sex.

Depends on the tone you're going for. I like it when it's described humourously.

>He dicked her.
Done.

Terrible. It must be something like:
He gave her a big ol' dickin'.

Focus on the small subtle sensual details. The tuff of hair on his chest that gently tickles. The warmth of arms wrapped around their necks. His how he moans when his tight boipussy is fist broken in. Ya know something like that

Impossible, cringe ain't always "bad" though

It's only cringey if you try too hard. Most aren't cringe.

do not use the phrase
>he entered her
or any variation

This. Your other options are to make it as deliberately gross and unappealing as possible, or better yet, don't even have it in your story at all.

Lol. This is top tier cringe.

do like Haruki Murakami.

We need to collect a couple dozen more examples of things not to do in sex scenes so we can string them all together to create the most painful sex scene ever written
>he entered her to give her a big ol' dickin', she liked the feeling of the cum moving through his male genitalia of creation into her cunt of life consumption. She had a smaller penis than he did so it wasn't gay.

>He kisses her lips, moving down to her nipples, then her midriff, then her mons pubis, then her clitoris, then her calves, then her feet, then falls off the mortuary bed. He laughs. She's not amused.

Ah yes, the list of anatomical features including several with medical-sounding Latin names, a must-have
Also the way the tense on the verbs suddenly changes from the previous line is just sublime, that needs to happen several times over the course of our scene
Wait, is this a literal or metaphorical mortuary bed? I can't tell which of those I'd prefer, leaving it ambiguous is probably the best option

Pretty much this, anything else will be cringy to some people and mundane to others.

Only make it super descriptive if it's a rape scene. That will horrify the reader and make them feel violated even though they're just the ones reading.

ok bend over

"He stuck his wiener in her butt and she farted."

"He licks the anus. Some poo-poo comes out. He eats the poo-poo. It is a delicacy, like ice cream."

Make it as deliberately cringy as possible. Sex is cringe

Write it the same as you'd write a cringe greenstory. You can plaster over inherent cringeness by explicitly making fun of the act, instead of letting reader laugh at your babble of incomprehensible innuendo.

All those brainlets who couldn't understand sex scenes in Lolita must only be pretending.

Cringe

based

Write sex scenes in your own way, just like you write the rest of the text. What's the point of catering to someone's tastes?

Experience still helps enormously, else you get something like “Blue is the warmest color” the movie.

Lol. Sex scenes in that movie we're just pornography and purely for titillation.

Give all the characters involved grossly oversized genitalia

No, the director talked about the hard work of making them sensual, etc. Too bad he only had porn as a reference.

It depends on context.
My favorite, do a dialogue.
>Describe it like you would tell a friend.
Third person, this are some options that come to my mind
>you may say something about the characters specific desires and fears.
>imply it
>be expressive and use strong words about smells

> The room is full of smell of a burnt rubber. Her Charcoal Gates still glow in the dark.
Wow, a scene someone might remember.

I always do.

>He dicked her in the face and vag.

Penis size is rarely described in books. I wish it was.

There is literally no need to actually go into sexual detail in a serious story, unless it's explicitly a plot device (Irreversible).

"And then they made love."
"They fucked that night."
"They had sex."

Depends. What is your intention? What are you trying to achieve with that scene?

Two options:
>imply it in a short statement
Or
>describe it as objectively an unpassionate as you can

Study hentai and write funny sex scenes.

This.

Sex should only be implied, never write about it explicitly. Sex as a subject matter should be dealt as a game of power, people's natural instinct is to dominate other people, even through sex. Otherwise it has no place in the story, unless you're writing some shitty erotica porn or whatever.

D
E
I
L
P
M
D E I L P M I M P L I E D
M
P
L
I
E
D

ANAL CRASH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

I grabbed a handful of cum. I was horny. I was ready to cum. "Y-yes Masha," I muttered, "I-I love to be watched." *She grabbed me with both hands and pulled me away. She smiled and wiped my balls with her little hand. She smiled and squeezed my ass. She put her other hand between our legs and started to stroke my cock again* Ohhh! Oh fuck YES I'm shaking! I want it so bad! YES FUCKING YES! OH! Please Masha! Please help me cum! Don't stop! *She sucked on my cock, then she sucked on my balls and then finished stroking me* Masha, help me cum! I want you to stop! Please please! *She looked at me with a smile and smiled at me again* *She reached out* You are fucking delicious Masha!!! *She placed her hands on my shoulders and started to stroke my cock* *moans* YES! YES!

Virgin
Chad

>he intruded upon her holy inner most temple

>He dicked her like a dirty dog.
Also describe penis like a ball-peen hammer.

...

>He walked her home. Gently.

Just do it like Morissey did.

>Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

Attached: music-morrissey-20190219.jpg (1000x750, 66K)

I chuckled

bruh

> How do I write a non-cringey sex scene?

The same way you build an anti-gravity machine.

This suggestion leaves too much room for error

If you're not sure how to write a good one, and don't want to try to learn (there are lots of good examples if you want to try, and the erotica genre as a whole is a competitive testing ground for people who think they can do it better than you and are willing to bet their paycheck on it), your safest bet is just fade to black.

Also if you haven't had sex, don't try to write one even by imitation,
>Write what you know
is advice for a reason, you WILL pull a
>a breast is like a bag of sand
eventually and it WILL ruin the entire scene

just write it
if it makes the old women giggle and the young girls cry then you done good

sex is always better dirty, in fact the dirtier the better (she had some lint on her labia, his penis smelled of urine, her underpants were soiled, he had dried flakes on his shaft, she moaned, he groaned, they came together and then left alone)

just write it

Attached: laugh.jpg (600x401, 45K)

> Her pussy was draped in laced mold and featured an ulcer right next to clitoris, his dick leaked a drop of green snot. Still, they decided to fuck like there is no tomorrow, unprotected. After two minutes of pumping, he injected her secret purse with his cum, then she pleasured herself, concentrating on the sensation of soft dick and sperm being slowly pushed out of her vagina. Then they both tried not to think about the symptoms they would experience later.

Might work.

>they decided to fuck

>passive tense fucking
>Passive tense fucking in a tell-dont-show sentence about no-tomorrow fucking

Dropped, describe the broken lamp, permanently ruined kitchen, and tattered accordion next time you wanna sell me on a no-tomorrow fucking.

Attached: 89898.png (1050x675, 77K)

Unironically the best one in this entire thread.

wrong

correct

correct

correct

wrong

correct

correct

wrong

most correct in the entire thread even if the second part was cringe.

wrongest in the thread

good erotica plays by Tomb of Horrors rules, not standard D&D rules

>Tomb of Horrors is a much more tactile dungeon than those found in modern D&D adventures. Players won’t simply be making a roll to solve a puzzle or find the magic door. They’ll need to lay hands on things, and the DM will need to literally tell them what they feel. Make your players describe what they want to do in great detail, and tell them what the experience is like based on the descriptions in the module. Be careful of improvising, however. One slip can give away a trap’s secret.

>When players get close to something dangerous or deadly, don’t cringe or quaver. Keep an even tone and put on your best poker face. Once the traps are sprung don’t pull any punches. Be merciless, because that’s what Gygax would have wanted.

Attached: DM.png (800x627, 522K)

Read lots of smut and figure out what styles you like and incorporate aspects of it into your own work while avoiding styles you don't like.

This, but be careful about repeating yourself too much and try to avoid manhood syndrome.

This guy knows what's up.

make it as much like pic related as possible. that is, make it so bad that nobody will be able to cringe with how hard they're laughing

Attached: 1556409505530.jpg (1440x435, 108K)

you literally have to be a woman or homoromantic to think that

Attached: fx5lxzg9mcm01.jpg (719x1150, 117K)

>hurr people don't want the details that make sex good, they want

>POLE IN HOLE POLE IN HOLE

that shit's the worst kind of erotica possible, gender be damned

you are beyond help

yeah I transcended help, thanks for noticing