Is there a perfect book to read while taking a shit?

Is there a perfect book to read while taking a shit?

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i had a copy of penguin brief atlas of african history and wage labor and capital above my toilet for a while. WL&C is impossible to meaningfully digest in the span of a shit, but the other one was cool. neat illustrations and bite sized bits about African history (not much happened)

don't sit on the toilet too long, you'll give yourself haemorrhoids

just scroll through twitter on your phone like a normal person

Patrician's choice

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No one does this anyways, can't believe people sit at toilets for more then 15 minutes.

poopi kaur

Me? I use infinite jest and wipe as I go along. The better question is do you guys stand up to wipe or do you stay seated?

Seated. I have a fear the shit'll fall off my ass and onto the seat or the floor.

Used to stand up because I was too grossed out to touch my ass directly in the anus, now I do it seated because it's faster/easier/uses less paper.

>twitter
Fucking kill yourself, I don't understand how people can use Instagram and Twitter without getting a fucking headache, shitty memes, thots and degenerate opinion all in one place.

Seated. I used to stand when I was heavier. I had to re-learn to sit and wipe and I'm glad I did it's a far faster process. When you stand you compress the excess between your fat cheeks which means clean up takes longer.

>shitty memes, thots and degenerate opinion all in one place.
you're describing this place

Yea Forums will become the same in maybe 2 years, get ready.

depends on who you follow

also as this guy says c'mon man where do you think you are

>I don't use two of the most popular websites in the world look at me I'm such an individual oooh wow so cultured
you are the one who should kill yourself fart sniffer.

>look at me I'm such an individual oooh wow so cultured
Why do npcs always project these pretensions onto people

Crime and Punishment.

>gets BTFO
>"muh npc"
absolutely pathetic. What are you like 13?

>don't sit on the toilet too long, you'll give yourself haemorrhoids
I’ve been sitting on the toilet for two hours daily, and I’ve been doing it for the past 15 years. Still no haemorrhoids

get more fibre in your diet user

>tfw you get those greasy shits after eating too much oily foods and you need to wipe like 30 times to get it all clean

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shitty memes, thots and degenerate opinion all in one place.
>shitty memes
>uses npc meme
retard

For me, it's Fontanarrosa.

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Don't degrade reading like that.

Crime and Punishment.

Enjoy the haemorrhoids

I like Instagram for cool pictures of landscapes

>Is there a perfect book to read while taking a shit?

It is the Year of Our Lord 2019 and you STILL aren't squatting? What is wrong with you? Are you dumb?

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I've never understood this reading on the toilet thing... are you doing it on the job to get longer breaks or something?

I've never in my life needed to read while shitting, or had any amount of time to wait. what the fuck do you anons eat? are you super fat? im not even that thin but when i have to shit it goes like this "hmm i think i need to shit. guess i'll go now"... go to the toilet, sit on it, about 5 seconds passes, start to shit, done from the time i leave until im washing my hands completely finished is about 5 minutes or less

I read almost 100 pages of Plato's Republic exclusively in toilet.

Thanks for the info.

I can't really read while doing it, the two things are just incompatible one another. Having to control my sphincter distracts me from reading and vice versa.

Hemmoroids

If you sit on the toilet long enough to do anything more than shit it would probably be wise to read something regarding nutrition.

Get a job.

Wtf? Does it take you that long to shit or are you dodging work

archive.org/details/AWalkingAphrodisiacByNicholasBlacksmith

Read page 97 and 98.

Parerga and Paralipomena

>dude read this meme book!

Hard pass

Based

>just scroll through twitter on your phone like a normal person

me, realizing that most posts on every social network are published while shiting...

makes me think on that scene from Goddard's Adieau au language

My diary desu