Post your novel ideas. It's not like they're going anywhere

Post your novel ideas. It's not like they're going anywhere.

Attached: 1541295115156.jpg (640x480, 74K)

Stop it with the pige :3

I got it when you first did it and I get it now

PIGE... easy on the nose

An alien is sent to spy on and learn about humanity before an invasion and extermination of the species but falls in love with a human woman. Most of the story will be him learning to pretend to be a human when he meets an American woman who thinks he’s an illegal immigrant and employs him as her gardener.

a bunch of artists live together in an old semi-abandoned villa. a series of short vignettes explores each artist trying and failing to find a meaningful way to express themselves. at the end a rube goldberg-like sequence of events involving setpieces from each of the artists vignettes triggers a fire in the old villa causing it to burn down. in the flames of the fire they find something sublime.

Not really a novel idea but more of a manga/light novel idea and it's really just a very rough draft. You have your average MC who one day meets the 3 daughters of friends of his parents. They drop them off and tell the MC that he has to take care of them for a few hours. The 3 girls are your typical hot anime babes and the MC thinks he'll get to do your typical harem comedy hijinks but he soon finds out that the 3 are severely mentally retarded, being biologically in their late teens but being closer mentally to 5 year-olds. They proceed to drive the MC insane by drawing all over his walls in crayon and permanent marker, eating up everything in his fridge, throwing temper tantrums whenever they don't get their way, playing with their stuffed animals and crying and whining incessantly. At one point one of them will ask him to accompany her to the bathroom since she isn't yet potty trained. The MC is so mad and frustrated that he decides to rape her in the bathroom and attempts to do so until the girl pisses herself in fear and he gets grossed out. The parents then come back at this moment, find out that the MC tried to rape one of their daughters and the scene changes to a courtroom where the MC gets sentenced to prison for trying to rape a mentally disabled person. The manga/light novel is supposed to be a deconstruction of the tendency of anime and manga to feature female characters that are physically developed but exhibit childish mannerisms/intelligence so the reader finds them "cute", and what would actually happen in real life if you had a bunch of physically developed girls who behaved like actual children.
Opinions?

Attached: QUALITY.jpg (500x313, 48K)

Just signed with Allen and Unwin. I think I might steal this...

Writer begins his book with the appeal to all the Three Muses. He is transported to the foot of Mount Parnassus where the Muses welcome him amongst them. They take him to the well of Hippocrene, after drinking from which he is overcome with joy, and expresses his exaltation in poetic form. Exhausted, he falls asleep, and the muses attend with soft music as he is carried to the Oracle of Delphi. He finally wakes up in the middle of the night, at the center of the earth. He asks the Oracle about his future, but he is only answered by a terrifying hiss. It is the serpent, Python, alive once again. The writer flees the cave, and finds himself in a swamp. The darkness is suffocating, and with the unharvested sea above, it becomes clear that this is the Tartarus. The writer is overcome with despair, yet decides to continue on. He meets various Titans cast down by Zeus, and finally Cronos himself. He pleads for a safe passage out of Tartarus.

God, I hope that you do publish this book, user! I would buy AND read this crazy shit in a heartbeat!

Attached: 1555572027334.gif (192x144, 3.25M)

the romance between two people, explored through countless alternative universes. it's the same personalities every time, but sometimes 1 and 2 are a man and a woman, sometimes 1 and 2 are a woman and a man, sometimes they're both men or both women, sometimes they're different races, nationalities, or socioeconomic classes, sometimes they have a language barrier, sometimes on opposite sides of a war or political conflict, sometimes everything around them is seemingly conspiring to keep them apart, sometimes everything around them is seemingly conspiring to get them together, but they always end up falling in love, in every single timeline. also it would be a stream of consciousness in the style of Woolf and switch between their perspectives
>it's just School Days but pedoshit

>telling one story isn't enough, he needs to tell a hundred
>a hundred short and tenuously connected tales about the exact same thing over and over again

doubt this is gonna work

it worked for Cloud Atlas, did it not?

don't read genre trash

>Cloud Atlas is genre fiction
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Game of thrones but with piges instead of dragons

marijuana is ruling the world's youth with its genetic memory imprinted into people when they smoke marijuana. the particulates transfer the DNA from marijuana and codes a protein that which eventually causes people to behave like niggers.

so Infinite Jest but with only Wardine sections. sounds infinitely better

This is great

This is literally just elfen lied just less cool and more faggy

>The Host

this needs a bump :)

no. this board has no taste

Wildly fictionalised and sensationalised autobiography of Carl Tanzler with a focus on his obsession with Helen. It'd primarily be about that and also the existence of the absurd via Florida's character.

Attached: 800px-Carl_Tanzler_(1940).jpg (800x971, 77K)

The incel revolution happens, women lose their human rights and are either force-married to single men or forced to become prostitutes.

The protagonist is an incel man who supported this change but is still unhappy in the new society, even though he is not a virgin anymore. It turns out what he really wanted was not sex but intimacy and being geniunely desired, something he cannot get from women who are basically sex slaves.

By contrast, normie men are generally ok with the state of things because they are shallow enough to be statisfied by easy sex.

By the end the former incels ally with a new feminist movement to undo these changes. The protagonist begins a relationship with one of the feminist women and they escape somewhere.

A book that humanizes incels? Reminds me of American History X cross Handmaids tale but not as faggy as the latter.

kill yourself desu senpai

It's so bad it's good. It's R A W.

sounds about as naive as a story where a guard breaks his female love interest out of auschwitz and they flee to swiss alps. just right for this board

tfw want to go to Mexico to see a tapir in the wild now

A series of short tales about a homeless man that uses library computers to update his blog which ranks the dumpsters he has slept in from best to worst and his reasons for thinking this.
He gets into many misadventures during his dumpster diving, but none of these are on the blog because he believes the essence of the dumpsters to be more interesting

borderline sounds like white-knight m'lady /niceguy/ shit, would tentatively read in case it isn't
would read unironically

has anyone here ever published a book through amazon self-publishing for shits n gigs?

I once knew someone who attempted suicide because he got someone else's wife pregnant. I think something good could be made out of telling the story of the child if it had been born, and if he had succeeded in his attempt.

Attached: qtpj2z2nwys21.png (786x602, 577K)

Yeah I did last year
Except it wasn't shits and gigs I was actually very serious about it
And it never sold a single copy
But new year new me, totally over it

Attached: imf.jpg (663x975, 588K)

how marketable did you try to make it?

also how long, what was it about, tell me more user :)

do people read comedy books?

I'll shittily greentext mine

>tfw your city was founded by the ancient hero who also founded your country
>tfw it was founded around a mountain that the ancient hero trapped a demon on
>tfw the city's only purpose is to tend the grove of screaming trees at the bottom of the mountain to ensure the demon can't leave
>tfw bird people show up and say they can kill the demon easy
>tfw tell them 'no it isn't that easy, this is a really scary demon'
>tfw they tell you they've done it before and can do it easy
>tfw they roll artillery up and shell the mountain for 12 days straight
>tfw it didn't kill the demon, just made it really angry
>tfw now we can't even go up onto the mountain with our gongs to harvest demon juice
>tfw the demon is making more of our legs not work
>tfw the birds say they definitely got it this time, they'll poison the demon
>tfw they shoot gas bombs onto the rubble mountain
>tfw it blows into the city
>tfw the birds don't even apologize

I_hate_birds.png

Attached: Za7JWRQ.jpg (800x600, 263K)

Science fiction setting. Story opens with a generic hero and his quest to stop what appears to be a generic villain. As the story progresses we slowly learn more about the villain who is the real focus of the story.

"The villain is the good guy" trope. The twist is that the villain has been stuck in a time loop (a la Groundhog day, Edge of Tomorrow, etc) and has lived thousands and thousands of lives. He has explored everything, done everything, learned all he could, but has never been able to escape or discover the reason he is trapped living over and over. So finally, after a near-eternity, he decides to do the only thing he has never done before, ie. to be "evil" - to take over and destroy the world - and so with a pure heart, thousands of years of knowledge, and meticulous planning he sets out to destroy the world.

After crossing paths with the villain the a few times the hero becomes conflicted. Why does the villain radiate such love and understanding? There's no evil in his eyes. Pure love, almost like a Buddha. Eventually the Hero is driven to madness. He cannot make his simplistic concepts of good and evil fit.

In the third act the villain fully reveals his story to the hero. They join sides and destroy the world together.

sounds like a Harry Potter fanfic I once read desu

p good

Self publishing is the best way to never get a book published traditionally. Agents and publishers will avoid you like the plague if they know you've self published and failed miserably.
That's if you want to be traditionally published, anyway.

Yea nobody would ever publish that. Interesting concept though.

Four morbidly obese boxers enter a space adventure. Their special needs instructor follows along.
Stop posting "It's not like they're going anywhere."
I don't care about Tepirs but enough negativity.
I like it. Will each of the artists have their own artistic style like Dadaism or Classicalism?
This is an idea that if done right will become an actual classic. I hope whoever writes this will consider that.
People don't read books. Don't write with hope it's read. Write with hope it reads.

After getting dumped by his gf the protagonist is taken to his friend's house to spend the night. In the morning his friend's mom starts talking to him. After some small talk, he starts talking about his relationship and is looking for some advise.

I like dialog more than developing a plot.

Shakespeare

but in space

and with sexy alien cat waifus

again, already read a Harry Potter fanfic that did the same thing

but user, the waifus!

The Last Son of The West

An answer and response to The Decline of the West/Spenglerism, Nietzsche, post-modernism.
Rome has already collapsed, we are just in denial.
Protagonist is the titular Last Son. Recounting and refuting the body of Western philosophy and political philosophy up to Evola. Observes the journey of the Last Son through his struggle to understand this body of work and find meaning in it in an age where all meaning has been destroyed. Conversations take place between the Last Son and any number of persons from his city, though the work does not primarily deal with "characters" beyond the Last Son.
Ultimately the Last Son understands that to look for absolute meaning in the past and base his life around centuries-old philosophies is futile as the root which allowed them to flower has died away. The Last Son understands that a new way must be found forward beyond Western Civilization, and a new Culture must take root somehow. He combines and reconfigures Western philosophies into something new, including Stoicism, fascistic elements, classical liberalism, monarchism, among others. This new philosophy comforts the Last Son and gives him hope, yet he implicitly understands that he cannot forge the foundations of the new Culture that will replace the West some time in the future as he himself is a product of the Western Civilization in its dying glimmer. The Last Son takes solace in the fact that he can still be a paragon of moral good and redeem himself in the sense that he is redeeming Western Civilization by giving it one last victory lap through his work. After a revelation with God and spirituality, the Last Son leaves his home to tell his neighbours what can be done to give them an inkling of meaning in their lives.
The neighbours and cityfolk have instead gathered around the Last Son's home, inflamed by his comments on modernity and supposed social progress. They form a mob and surround him. Rather than degrade himself and plead for mercy, the Last Son accepts his fate as a member of the crowd plunges a knife into his abdomen. He falls to the ground and lays peacefully for a few moments before drawing his last breath and leaving the earthly realm.

The point of the book is basically
>wake up sheeple
>the past can't save us
>we cannot see the future
>the meaning we once had in the past cannot be recovered or reworked
>we cannot lay out something for the future Culture because that Culture must be the makings of its own people
>accept the fate
>make peace with the world
>understand that you are right and will be vindicated
>redeem your material life and live as morally good as possible
>above all, do not despair. It is not your misfortune that you are alive in this time.

Better than Peterson

>Evola
ebola XD

average joe becomes successful writer but is left wanting, retires from work and travels the world, discovers cruelty and benevolence, with the former more common than the latter, and later makes a final voyage into furthest antarctica. the end of the book is him awakening in hyperborea

Is this true?
Have I eternally screwed myself because I put up a book of short stories that nobody read?

Fringe system backwards dessert planet (not arrakis). There is a single spaceport town on the surface. The rest is arid sand and barren mountains, with a few hidden smuggler bays. The spaceport is built from an old Armada warship that crashed there a few centuries ago and is a general shitty shanty town visited by traders, fugitives and other criminals.

Officially it is under control of the (London) Empire (Space Anglos) though they barely have a presence there, the dusty planet light years away from the core planets, being at the edge of uncharted space and devoid of important resources.

A local crimeboss, the german Colonist Wilhelm Reiger, a man of 140+ (appearance 65), owns the port and basicly the planet, pays of the miniscule garrison of Anglo troops to do whatever he wants.

Verenigde Uiterzee Compagnie V.U.C (Space Dutch) is embroiled in the second Anglo-Dutch tradewar over control of important traderoutes. This conflict is far away from our little planet but two dueling ships pursue each other to this fringe system, bringing the war there.

17th century European naval/colonial wars in a space-faring theme, though it should give me plenty off opportunities to describe the scum of the galaxy and bountyhunters and rare tradegoods etc. Not sure if Ill add aliens.
I enjoy thinking about a future where earth does not unite under a single global goverment, but instead a handful of nations aquire space tech and colonize other worlds under the flag of their nations.

Attached: g82rteh13n821.jpg (996x682, 197K)

>Finge system backwards dessert planet
unless you actually meant dessert instead of desert, Dune
>not Arrakis
you're in denial

An Israeli intern moderating a Mongolian basket weaving forum designed to lure in young white men to prevent them from doing anything worthwhile with their lives.
He has a crisis of consciousness as he sees these people waste their lives away, but is told that they're going to be extinct in a generation or two anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

if it's satire, sure, why not, seems funny, I'd enjoy reading a humorous critique of 4channel
if it's genuine, i.e. you actually believe white genocide is real, sure, why not, seems funny, I'd enjoy reading the ravings of a lunatic

More a borderlands style/firefly/vegas type town instead of a spiced out planetary capital. Dune isnt that impressive anyway wormboi!

Attached: 1557223431567.jpg (1200x801, 361K)