Write what's on your mind

I want this stupid fucking retard and his butterfly whore off my board

You are questioning my assumption, meaning you yourself still have doubts and curiosities.
Your convictions are not as strong as you believe.

They last longer, taste better and I get to hang out with cool old dudes while I smoke them.

i am not the same person you originally replied to

Why is it I get excited about writing the outline of a story, but the moment I commit the words to paper (or in this case word) I get self conscious that it's not as good as it should be?

The "chair", the "paper", the "mouse", the "pen", the "water" "bottle", the "door. My senses are indicating that these various objects are in fact floating around in the void, and the reason I can perceive them is with reason and reasoning and reasoninging.
I thank you, your consciousness and your subcounsciousness for reading through this quite honestly lengthy string of symbols with no inherent meaning.

something about overload of information because of internet like this pic from mgs2
something something destruction of communities because everythings too readily available or somethin so people just move on to the next thing
people stick to isolated groups
filling brain full of junk
like ive seen every mcu movie
i only liked about 2 or 3 but i always torrent them to watch with friend
feel bad about it
should quit the junk info and internet in general maybe
but would be too bored
dont know how
even then going outside there sos much there all the time filling my brain constantly
brain too smol to put across ideas in brain
dying

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I can't stop thinking about death, it's been lurking around my thoughts for days. In december I moved out of my country and got married, and days before flying overseas one of my cats gave birth. I spent days on the sofa next to her and the babies, taking care of them.
They grew up and my sister and mother gave three of them to different families. My sister is very careful and she's been finding new homes for other cats too. Anyhow, a few days ago I was talking with my mother and told me that one of the babies was dead. My first reaction was anger, I thought the person who was supposed to take care of him was responsible for his death. Looks like he had a sudden death. He was in the garden, began to convulse and died in a matter of seconds in front of the woman who adopted him.
These past few days I've been feeling weird, the sudden death of someone so young and close to me was shocking.

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Was the death of this animal shocking to you or was the fact that the death of the animal was in fact close to you, shocking?

I'm glad mods are allowing these threads again. Good for containment of off-topic discussion and also doubles as a sort of stupid questions thread in a way.

horses gallop
tigers stalk
women well up
men walk

Accelerationism is a philosophy for copelets who don't have the conviction to find an ideology to support and instead want to watch everything collapse with no idea for what will follow, only a hollow hope that whatever comes next will be better.

My sexuality is not the defining aspect of my personality, whores are glorified but are pathetic and lonely. Despentes should be greatfull to her rapist, otherwise she wouldn't have anything to write about and wouldn't have any exposure. War is hell, but young frustrated idiots want one to happen. I am sick of hearing that planet is dying and it is my fault, and not the mighty ones who reign over it. Calling western europes culture "rape culture" is disgusting. It isn't anything groundbreaking in any sense, but internet overstimulation will bring decay to our minds, anundance of artificial stimuli will overshadow beauty of real world which in comparison will be too slow and boring. After time my vice stopped being a part of complex personality but became my personality. Russia is a hiv invested authoritarian shithole, that only exports whores to the west, and misery to the east. There are no more musical icons, just talentless assembly line cardboard cutouts with exposure. Islam is a relligion of barbarians. And I... am... Iron Man

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i'm so horny
i'm so lonely
if only i had a maiden's hand near me
to grab
and bring it
to my penis

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Is there even anything worth living for in this gosh awful God empty world ?
I feel nothing for other people and found absolutely no pleasure in life.
I keep telling myself I'll find something to fight for or a woman I'll love more than myself but it's all a left down after the other.

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Not afraid of the pain that chopping off your genitalia would illicit too, I assume.
Go ahead and do it, tranny. It's only a matter of time, once you're done with your flirtation with the right you'll revert back to what you always were, a dirty degenerate weakling sissy leftist. Go ahead and create your twitter account and build your e-persona up. Start networking because time is running out, the average tranny doesn't live much

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It's crazy how much my competency drops off when someone is looking over my shoulder judging me. A problem I could solve hanging upside down from the ceiling blindfolded with ants crawling on me suddenly becomes intractable. This is one reason I never did fantastic in school despite having outstanding scholarly abilities. There ought to be more ways to accomodate misfits, but after all that's why they're misfits.

Made a noise complaint about my neighbors and now they're getting evicted.
There's a pang of guilt here but I'm gonna be glad when they're gone.

Absolutely fucking based and redpilled. Good job, user. Hate noisy cunts me.

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30 years
failed university app 10 years in row
never had a job
too stupid and uselezz
last time i had friends was like 11 years ago
i dont think ill bother much if i just neck meself

I had an endoscopy and colonoscopy cancelled due to the very condition they were originally scheduled to help diagnose and now I am just sort of hoping I have cancer so I can be done with this worthless life.

I really empathise with you user. I'm with you in spirit brother. Partake of your own will toward self-betterment

everything is going objectively well for me and i'm in the prime of my life but i still feel like shit all the time. if this is the best its gonna get then i dunno what i'll do.

I like writing better than reading, I’m good at it, is that enough of a reason to do it though? Is the ability to create something the sole reason one should create? Is talent something to be coveted? Hoarded? Along with the works it creates? No, it is a means of expression, or maybe a way to give back. Why then, does it feel, like I’ve always got something to prove? It’s not quite to you that I need convince I’m good at this, though I wouldn’t mind ;), more so to myself. I need to be able to do something great at any given moment, at any point in time. It is my maxim, not to be or see great things, but to be able to bring them to life at any time through sheer force of will alone. I don’t save my writing, most of it at least. I post it here, quips here and there, needless insults almost like an art themselves, vague meta ramblings that are essentially my stream of consciousness filtered down as little as possible on to these pages. So that I don’t hold on to them, so that I let them go, so that on the day I die, I am prepared to ascend without any earthly possessions. Does this skill come with me though? This parlour trick I covet so? These words will not join me when I become one with God again, but will what I’ve learned? Become? What I’ve done? Maybe. And maybe that’s why we’re here.

It gets better lad, you’ll see thing that dwarf the idea of the best thing you could imagine in due time.

If you don't just make sandwiches for yourself all day you're a fool. Sandwiches are obviously a superior form of food . They can be made easily, and as healthy or indulgent as you wish. They're even portable and consist of a vibrant variety of ingredients.

I don't like you people. I think ya'all suck. And I got names for you too.

Wife is cheating on me with her boss but I don’t know how to prove it.

Laugh my ass off. WHY. Why is she doing that. :3

Terrible. Absolutely terrible person.

She has a hotter, younger, far wealthier boss that wines and dines her repeatedly. I was gonna cook for us tonight but she cancelled and says she has a “work event.” Guess I’ll just read.

I've been thinking about monsters and what they represent. I think that they represent terrible strength, and the fear that such strength inspires in us, a relic from the days when we were little monkeys at the mercy of much more powerful predators like wolves, bears, rhinos, bulls, etc.

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They represent ill will

That’s not right. I just know that isn’t right.

Philosophically, she’s missing something. Compunction for sure. :3 a little bit of immaterialism as well

they can represent a lot of things. For example, wendigos of Algonquian myth and ogres of European folklore represent how the people of those societies view those that engage in the taboo of cannibalism, they are seen as monsters.

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I'd really like to know if that user ever did read my NaNoWriMo novel

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Monsters are a tool to free mankind of guilt and sin by turning our dark side into an external, self-ruling and uncontrollable force.

Seen Paranoia Agent lately too?

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I don't watch anime with the exception of Eva

I used to think that getting drunk alone was rock bottom, but it's now the highlight of my week :(

>Wife works
Bruh
You failed the first step
Drop that bitch and find yourself a young housewife

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Pigeons are the worst thing about the city. Out of all the beautiful birds in the world that could illuminate the lifeless grey city we get the equally lifeless and grey pigeon. One of those parasitic fuckers jumped onto my dining table at the train station KFC today and tried stealing my food. I had to resist the urge to snap its ugly neck. Honestly I long for a utopia where the problems are so minimal that we can afford the time and money to replace all pigeons with birds like toucans and finches.

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I don't know what I want in the future. So I just drift through everything.

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You're in the right path.

you obviously live in a city without seagulls

Imagine being this triggered by fucking BIRDS

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Living in the city where everything is bleak and dull I would love to at least see birds like these. But no. We get the grey, ugly, mundane, parasitic pigeon.

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I don't think there is much in this world worth anything except maybe somebody you care about and who cares about you. Love is the only warmth in this blizzard. Best of luck, user.

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vegetarianism is the saddest, shittiest phenomenon in human thought

Tbf most cities have colonies of feral parrots who escaped from the houses where they were pets. If you've ever been to Rome in summer they're annoyingly loud

I fell in love with the girl/dude/tranny I ERP and they haven't been online all day, making me feel miserable. I haven't told them about this, which is probably good. I am pathetic and can only hope that this passes.

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they go hand in hand with the type of cities we live in though. ever-needy pigeons that barge into your personal space offering nothing and by virtue of their audaciousness alone they survive. youre right, they are ugly and they are soulless. and so are we. if we deserved toucans, we would be surrounded by then. our cities would be inhabitable by toucans. but could you imagine anything beautiful thriving in the kind of world that is the modern metroplex? no. the creatures that survive and thrive are plain, tough, ugly, simple, no frills, selfish, mean, just like the people.

>I haven't told them about this
Haven't told them that you feel bad when you don't get to speak often, or that you're in love?
>I am pathetic
Don't beat yourself up too much user. You can't always help you find affinity with. The internet has allowed people from all over the world to find each other in a way totally impossible before.

(.)(.)

I haven't fapped in a few days.

The fact that we couldn't talk is just one thing, it's isn't making me feel as bad as the fact that that I think I love them.

I don't even know their gender yet I still fell in love with them but I can't even confess to them, aside from the fact that I might get rejected, is that we are in the same clique and something like me confessing to them could very well be disruptive to our group as a whole.

There is no winning here, is it?

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If it were a parrot you would be annoyed just the same

its about to storm...fuck.

I know this situation very well, reminds me of all the times when someone would confess to me due to ERPing.

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I was in a situation much like yours, falling in love with somebody over the internet. It felt like a blessing being able to meet somebody who I thought was absolutely perfect, but a curse because there were too far away to ever have a relationship.
>There is no winning here, is it?
It's a difficult situation. I don't know if I can offer you any decent advice, by you have my sympathies.

>63 touhou

impeccable taste

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Got the LSAT in a month and I’m pretty nervous, I have a T14 or bust mentality whether that’s healthy or not. I’ve also been dating for the first time in a while but the issue is she’s higher status than me (she works at a Big 4 while I’m a paralegal) which makes me somewhat insecure. Probably overthinking it but oh well, meaningless yuppie problems I guess.

It's the fourth night in a row that I wake up drenched in cold sweat and terrified out of my wits, as if an unseen presence were to pounce on me at any moment. This house has always had an air of melancholy and dread to it, but it has increased exponentially in the last few months. I'm a rational person, and it's been more than a decade since I've lost my fear of ghosts and other spooks, but I can't roam around at night without feeling that an unwanted apparition could greet me in the next corner or doorstep or stairwell. In a way, it's actually hilarious that I can walk through a pitch black tunnel or wild forest in the middle of nowhere and not feel the least bit anxious, while I feel under siege in my own house by something that can't be quite pinned down.

Had a day to myself on Saturday. The old battleaxe was out and about on her own. Had a nice day. Woke up, had a coffee, studied German for 2 hours, went for a workout, came back home and read for a few hours on and off. Then I studied a bit more German. Then I did almost the same thing on Sunday.

Today I woke up early, bicycled to work, felt very energetic and alert only to spend it pushing pens and shuffling paper, answering emails, etc. Lame office paperwork that is a complete waste of what I think I have to offer. I need a new job lads, a new vocation. I don't know what to do though. Been reading dumb productivity blogs that are 95% shit. It's mostly not helpful.

At the end of the day I want to feel like I'm good at something valuable. I don't really care about money. I want satisfaction, respect, admiration. No matter how much you're paid almost no one values or cares about clerical work, and even if they did it's not satisfying work. It's the adult equivalent to dishwashing.

My daughter is being tested for cancer. She is 4 months old. She is teething and learning to roll. She doesn't know about the potential risk on her wellbeing that would negate her need to teeth or roll. She follows in line with what nature intended. Unbeknownst to her that nature could cut that same intention short. She is not afraid. I am a wreck. And yet I love her laugh and smile all the same. I encourage those rolls. I provide comfort for the teething pain. Nature, it seems, is a fickle whore

i crave for adventure i want to climb the tallest mountain and defeat bad guys and help people directly i want to walk for miles and fight against armies and god willing survive combat for faith which could probably not exist and then return to a peaceful lifestyle and raise children with a strong traditional woman

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>tfw you think you got problems

I hope she's ok

Was Fascism also like this? Was Fascism a revolution, or only the murder of what came before it?

I had a shit day. Both my coworkers called in sick(most likely they weren't) at my part-time job so
I was the only one there for the majority of the day then when I came back home my dad annouced to me that my granndma was in the hospital for what they thought was a stroke.

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I miss going to metal shows with my buddies, those were some of the best times of my life. Hopefully there will be a metal festival that plays in my area this summer.

I agree with you. Here's something to think about: pigeons and doves are the same animal. There is no biological difference between the two birds, they are the same family, the same race. We took the bird that was, for a thousand years, the Biblical symbol of peace, safety, sanctity, homeness; and turned it into a dirty, noisy, shit-eating flying rat whose life is defined by avoiding the kicks of hostile homeless and by eating the crumbs of french fries for which it does not hunt but only scavenges. The domestication of the dove into the pigeon is the domestication of noble man into dependent beast.

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my life is tangibly easier than his in almost every way; yet i always see him smiling. not the fake kind of polite smiling myself and almost everyone else i know does. he is sincerely happy. he is and i am not and it makes me want to suck on the barrel of a shotgun until it sprays hot cum down my throat; splattering my chemical imbalances all over my one night stand’s “Friends” poster

I've been here for quite a long time but still don't know what to read because of a (maybe) irrational fear of turning into a writer's fanboy, that in my eyes are people who like a work and make it sacred or use the writer as a "but -my writer- is better than -your writer- " game of teams and dumb worship. I want things to read to ADD to my ideology, not fucking replacing everything to be a part of the team of edgy fanboys. I'm really confused.

>Pigeon's represent humanities decline
>They are a reflection of us

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i don't like commerce, but i do like drugs and electronic music. i'd like to go to burning man.

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I want to leave this stupid fucking state and start a life with a wife and pay off our new house working overtime as an emt for the next 10 years

its ok user

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I've wasted exactly the last ten years of my life and I still don't really want to live. Despite this, I'm afraid that I'm going to waste the rest of my life.
I'm deathly afraid of my hair falling out despite being some pretend volcel, why would I care what I look like at this point.

With you as my witness, I'm going to the gym at 5:30

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I've been a fucking NEET in 10 years.
t. Fuck I wish someone would just turn me into biodiesel

Why is it that we can rationalize harvesting pigs by the thousands, but not mentally disabled humans? If we decide that a human's mental capacities are equal to or below that of a pig's, why does the human hold any more rights to survival than the pig? Outside of subscribing to a faith based belief like the existence of a human soul, or something of a similar effect, there is no justification that a human's life should be worth any more than that of a pig excluding his mental abilities. We evaluate the worth of the life of an organism based on their mental capacities. We feel nothing when we uproot plants by the thousands, but most of us in developed society wince at the sight of a pig being gutted. The pig holds more value than the plant because of it's mental capacities and our ability to empathize with it. We know the pig also feels pain, and is capable of feeling emotions like fear and happiness to an extent. Why, then, is it okay to harvest pigs but not mentally disabled humans? Even if you made the argument that we do not need or should not eat human meat, there are plenty of meaningful benefits to harvesting the vital organs of the mentally disabled. It is not without technical benefit, and if they are truly less intelligent than pigs I think it is unlikely they will contribute to society something more than the sum of their own parts. The logic dictates that we in fact should harvest the mentally disabled just as we do pigs of greater intellect. The way we rationalize their moral responsibility is also similar. One would not try a pig for murder just as a judge would pardon a severely mentally handicapped individual for being mentally incapable of understanding or making meaningful moral decisions. We exempt both from moral judgement in this way. Why, again, does the retard hold value where the pig does not? We cannot quantify or evaluate consciousness outside of observation, and if the human is observed to be mentally less than that of a pig, why should he not be harvested like the pig? There is no justifiable answer. It is a moral fallacy. One could argue that pig meat is a necessity, but it isn't. If pigs (and other animals) went extinct, we would never use human meat as a substitute. One could argue that eating meat is a natural human evolutionary behavior, which is true. Meat out of necessity is human nature. There is no moral or evolutionary justification for the type of meat processing we have in this era. Our ability to empathize with a pig is also technically a result of our evolutionary process. Unless you hold a view that human's have a right to dominate everything by simply being more intelligent, there is no justification for the current slaughterhouse treatment of animals. It is logically inconsistent to suggest that retards should be protected while also suggesting that pig slaughter is a necessary evil.

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If we want to go even further, we could take the evidence that pigs exhibit some cognitive abilities to that of a 4 year old human child. Where exactly would the line be drawn from harvesting children under the intelligence of a pig by this logic? The easiest counter to this is that children will eventually become functioning adults that will contribute to society's development. Thus, they hold value. But what if we took away that value? What if the child was abandoned, unwanted, or was unable to be cared for due to something like overpopulation? Where would the line be drawn between infanticide and pig slaughter in that situation? The logical explanation is that if we are okay with pig harvesting out of necessity, we should also be okay with the harvesting of unwanted children that cannot be supported otherwise. Continuing on this line of thinking, there could be a time where unwanted children are created and harvested for monetary benefit. The logic dictates that this SHOULD happen. I can't think somebody would regularly go through the experience of birth for whatever the monetary reward would be, but if we can logically breed and harvest pigs (as the intelligence baseline), and by that logic harvest retards, and by that logic harvest unwanted/overpopulated children, perhaps we'll see an industry built around harvesting aborted children as we do live pigs. This is, of course, unless we come to terms with the cognitive disassociation we exhibit whenever we attempt to justify pig slaughter. If, for example, we were forced to watch a video of our meat being slaughtered prior to eating it, many of us would likely take part in eating meat much less, or would stop entirely. It's likely true that we would eventually become desensitized to the gore, but I don't think the idea of watching an animal suffer like that would ever become justifiable to most people. We are not entirely on terms with our own decision to consume meat. Meat, I think, in a more ideal society, would become far rarer, and would be processed humanely. An ideal global meat system would allow us to come to terms with the truth of our processing methods. We do process humans, but only ever after their natural death. This is the ideal scenario for real meat processing. If we can live in a world where we could theoretically watch our meat being processed before consuming it, that would be ideal for our moral conscience. It's logically incorrect to have it any other way. I'm not a vegetarian btw.

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Leaving NEETdom is easy, as a procedure.
I was basically a NEET out of high school for a few years. I had a seasonal job, which paid for gas in my car and frivolities while I lived at my parents (still do, though). For a good year, I socialized with only my one childhood best friend and my family. In hindsight, I really didn't understand how I wasted my life. But even in that time, I went through a lot of important things, and you probably went through some shit like that too.
The 3 or 4 things I did to get my life back on track were simple.
1. I took my savings and enrolled in the local community college.
2. I went back to my old social circle, and slowly learned how to make new friends.
3. I got a new, steady job.
4. All those things forced me to waste less time on the internet. The time I spend on here now and with video games is more meaningful and relaxing to me.
The only real obstacle is you. There's a secret trick out there, but I don't know it.
It takes social skills and life direction, but they take a lot of time and thought to cultivate. NEETs and autists tend to fail at this. And they're a bit perishable. When I started, I could barely talk to strangers. If you have trouble with that, remember to be 1. polite, 2. earnest, and 3. attentive. Attentive meaning read your social situations, and don't just think about yourself. Are you failing at making (often crude) jokes to fit in, and making people uncomfortable? Then stop. If you're not doing out of your own confidence or edification, then think about what's happening around you. That's where 90% spergs and autists fail, they make everyone uncomfortable through attempts at overcoming anxiety, to the point of social isolation. Learning to read people is a skill, not a trait.
>I'm deathly afraid of my hair falling out despite being some pretend volcel, why would I care what I look like at this point.
Unless you're just that ugly and disgusting, there's nothing stopping you from getting a woman.

What does a fucking neet failure do, I imagined my life couldn't get shittier yet it again did to my surprise which amused me.

I can't fucking neck myself, don't have the guts. But too stupid to get into school or too useless for anyone looking to hire

guess I start a pornhub account and get fuckd in the ass

I've tried to leave it for a decade, failed every school application and have gotten rejected out of every job I got an interview to.

What fucking savings, I am fucking human waste for 10 years, I don't have savings.
> community college
You do nothing with this paper in my country. You can't even graduate from our equivalent of CC. it's basically the beginner courses the state uni offers.

Your list is just 'leaving neetdom is easy because you leave it' well it isnt fucking emerging and manifesting itself ex nihilo

Me exactly
Why the fuck are our types attracted to this specific shithole, or does this place make us like this?

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first nicotine buzz. feel like i'm gonna puke. head fuzzy like weed but body at 200% efficiency. very odd. never smoking nickie again. have an exam at 10 am tomorrow. not sure why i did this to myself. hate it.

I love writing but have massive confidence issues so I never finish anything because my standards are impossibly high and I never feel like anything I make is worth showing to another person. No matter how much I want to continue, I can't find the motivation, purely because I know deep down that it's going to be grade-school level trash in my mind no matter how much I continue and improve.

these people are doing God's work and I say this is a neet-cel of 11 years

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>gotten rejected out of every job I got an interview to.
What kind of jobs? You can't expect to get middle class work onward with no experience, education, or connections. I don't where you live, or what the economy is like, but if you're applying for something that just needs to fill bodies, the interview amounts to when you can work, what you'll be paid, and what's expected of you.
>Your list is just 'leaving neetdom is easy because you leave it' well it isnt fucking emerging and manifesting itself ex nihilo
It was just my method of leaving NEETdom. But it sounds like you're addicted to your own misery. If you're truly willing to crawl out, rather than simply be the wretch you are, you'd be willing to start at the bottom of the barrel. As in, on the ass end of the social ladder.
>You can't even graduate from our equivalent of CC. it's basically the beginner courses the state uni offers.
Maybe your country just has a crap economy. But CC wasn't so much about the degree, for me, but developing some direction and life skills. Going to class engaged, participating, finishing on time, and writing essays are things that helped teach me how to function in society. it didn't teach me that life was worth living, or how to live, but it taught me how move around in the world in a "safe" environment, which is different from the workplace.
Even so, you're ignoring a lot of solutions to your problem. You can't get into schools. But if you can get into CC (they'll probably take anyone), and do good, you might actually have a shot in getting to a regular University. I got invitations from bigtime Universities, solely because I joined some honors society that even a dumbass could join.

Applied to various jobs that don't require experience or expertise. I do have a two bodily damages that restrict what i can do (I cannot do random heavy lifting or sudden moves due to two compound injuries) so it restricts me from applying to say, storage.
> But it sounds like you're addicted to your own misery
I am just very pessimistic, I am not addicted to misery. I am trying but it isn't working (leaving neetdom). This is my dark humor coming out.
> you'd be willing to start at the bottom of the barrel. As in, on the ass end of the social ladder
Don't really know how much lower other than whoring myself on Pornhub I can go haha
> if you can get into CC (they'll probably take anyone)
It's not possible here, our CC isn't CC like yours. It is just beginner courses. You then apply on the entrance test like everyone else, but the (State unis are only unis there are here) look at the college diploma scoring first. but that's gone, I can't get in, my trash brain is too trash so this isn't even relevant. I've looked at trade school, but my math brain is terrible and I'm honestly very bad with my hands. Only moderately good enough with my brain to know that I'm stupid as hell haha

I'm going to see if Khan Academy will help in trying to sort out my terrible math brain, haha.

>absolutely perfect

They are perfect because you don't really know them, so you can freely project your own idealized image onto them.

The more you see of their actual, real selves, the less you would care about them

I sometimes want to cry but the tears don't come out

delete lit9k already

moron, not the same person. Either way I'm not.
is this a meme? I don't get it.

btw, it's not because of Deleuze, I'm just saying after I read him.

pls no its only thread where I can hate myself

Suffering births great things.

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I leveled up in meditation and I have razor sharp awarness and heightened energy all day long. Don't know what to do with this skill now.

I agree except with the social advice. There are no three things or 10 things to "get right." The goal is to lose thoughts, and just ride the wave of the moment.
Getting women has nothing to do with saying the right things, it's how you say them. I can talk to women about the most mundane things in a certain intonation and successfully win them over. The summoning of a sexual energy is impossible to quantify or make a formula out of. There is a half of life that is unspeakable, wordless energy that can only be developed through trial and error.
watch Jeff Goldblum interviews to see what I mean. It's about a kind of inner calm. You must have an appreciation of the small pleasure. You must voice this pleasure. When women speak of sensitivity this is what they really mean. You must have a low threshold for the tingles. This is a sort of invitation. They want to be savored and not devoured. A glut of desire implies their short shelf life.
Also rejection means absolutely nothing.

And want to love and be loved

my mask slips sometimes but I'm sure they still think I'm one of them, they can't know I'm different

My family is full of progressive liberals, like "Free Palestine", "Fuck Trump and fuck Whites" and I'm censoring myself so hard (i'm basically neoreactionary edgelord). I always pretend to just be disinterested in politics and history among them.

Why do people fear death when living is the hard part?

I haven't been afraid of death, I'm mostly interested in seeing what happens after it.

Human consciousness is proof of God. Nothing in existence other than God could play such a cruel joke.

I don't think conssciousness is even a thing

Has anyone experienced this mind poisoning where you find yourself literally incapable of engaging in critical/extended thought or discourse beyond yourself? Like it's hard to think about anything outside of your being and immediate existence. I can't really read books anymore, nothing makes sense.

Can't tell if my brain is rotting or if I'm experiencing some kind of babby psychotic episode

Based and demiurgepilled

what's your routine, what did you do

IAIN BANKS' 1984 novel,
"The Wasp Factory",
was written in an attempt to shock and provoke the reader. It was a financial success. The protagonist is a child sociopath who murders other children and tortures animals. The shocking reveal at the end of the novel is that the protagonist is biologically female. This is at odds with their stated interests - guns, demolition, den-building, etc. What a twist! And I can hear your mental intake of breath, but trust me on this one - if something is coded as male, it's the same as something being male. There's no difference.

The music video for THE PRODIGY's 1997 single,
"Smack my Bitch Up",
steals the concept and boils it down for the mass market. It was nominated for the MTV Video Music Award for Best Direction, but lost to the music video for a Madonna song. Madonna? In 1997? Amazing. The lyrics for "Smack My Bitch Up" are as follows:

Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
Smack my bitch up
Eaaaheeyheeaheyyyee
Aaahaaahaaaaaaaaaaahha
Eaaaheeyheeaheyyyee
Aaahhaaaaa
Aaahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up

If you expected me to make some kind of point here, you were wrong. Expectations subverted. And for my next trick: you have already made some kind of judgement on both the lyrics and myself. Perhaps you saw them as evidence of society's decline, which means you have an IQ of below 100, probably. Turn off your computer and kill yourself. If you thought that I was going to make that point and started to think of arguments in favour of the song's artistic merit to pre-empt me, then we're on the same level. That's good. That's what I would have done. There's an adage in advertising: If you're reading it, it's meant for you. Are you still with me?

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The fact that people live long enough to die of 'old age' without killing themselves makes me question whether the majority of humans are truly conscious or not.

Who is the qt3.14 in the picture, if I may ask?

>"So sentience has gotta be good for something, then. Because it's expensive, and if it sucks up energy without doing anything useful then evolution's gonna weed it out just like that."

>"Maybe it did." He paused long enough to chew food or suck smoke. "Chimpanzees are smarter than orangutans, did you know that? Higher encephalisation quotient. Yet they can't always recognize themselves in a mirror. Orangs can."

>"So what's your point? Smarter animal, less self-awareness? Chimpanzees are becoming nonsentient?"

>"Or they were, before we stopped everything in its tracks."

>"So why didn't that happen to us?"

>"What makes you think it didn't?"

>It was such an obviously stupid question that Sascha didn't have an answer for it. I could imagine her gaping in the silence.

>"You're not thinking this through," Cunningham said. "We're not talking about some kind of zombie lurching around with its arms stretched out, spouting mathematical theorems. A smart automaton would blend in. It would observe those around it, mimic their behavior, act just like everyone else. All the while completely unaware of what it was doing. Unaware even of its own existence."

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Wtf I read this book and have no recollection of this scene. Funny.

With anti-oedipus on my hand I could finally justify my incompetence in life. Soon I will be complete!

I
FUCKING
HATE
EVERYTHING

It's okay, you'll grow up some day.

I WISH I WAS LESS EGOTISTICAL. I FEEL PITY FOR PEOPLE DESPITE MY OWN LIFE BEING SHIT.

Awwww wow . Butterfly is only posting when I post.

the internet fucked you up. social media (even Yea Forums) relates everything back to your identity. but at least you're aware of it, which means you have a chance of making it out. keep reading.

>I WISH I WAS LESS EGOTISTICAL
>I FEEL PITY FOR PEOPLE DESPITE MY OWN LIFE BEING SHIT.

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Hunter x Hunter is good. I want to be a Hunter.
tfw a japanese cartoon has inspired me more than anything else in the past few years

Any arc specifically?

Same.
I read it from time to time

Definitely so, though I hadn't considered the internet's role in relation to this particular situation. Gonna see a shrink soon, since I'm evidently incapable of helping myself here. Maybe he'll have some ideas on how to get the fuck out of this hole. Wish me luck user(s), maybe some of us can make it after all.

Recognizing the problem is the first step, and as such is the most important.
We are all gonna make it, anons.

Are you ok?

I hate my job. I hate it so much that I have to find new ways to distract myself from what I am doing, while pretending to look busy and productive.
People say, "at least you have a job!" I then ask them if they would like to work where I work and do what I do. Predictable, they shrink away in disgust and make paltry excuses as to why there job is better.
I hate my job, but I love spending money. That is the only thing that keeps me going.

INB4 *their

Spending on what?

Nope.. got flu and sore throat

Hunter Exam is probably my favorite just because of how whimsical it is, they're all really good though

Whats your job?

I think maybe I understand in a way
Do you ever get this feeling that you're so wholly good, so pure, so infinite that it makes you despise yourself and want to tear yourself apart with guilt
You reach a level of self consciousness where you realize that no one will ever really know you least of all yourself
Then eventually you realize that it is not yourself insofar as your identity that you so covet but the human soul which is in you burning so radiantly but remains illusive, separate, and untouchable
It's like encountering the cutest bunny the infinite reaches of the universe could ever conjure up holding it in your hands and wishing so badly that you could meld your entire being with it for eternity
but you can't and you never will be able to and so all your endless love and adulation turns to endless venom and resentment and grief instead
Death becomes the most fierce and savage punishment you could ever bear and yet you wish for it every waking moment
Sometimes I wonder if this is how some great people must have felt before killing themselves but perhaps even beyond what I've ever felt
It's a complex kind of feel

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I really need to stop worrying and start barking at Zhaozhou's dog again. It's the only thing that ever gave me true peace

I should be writing more. Way more then this shit.

Are you watching the 1999 one or the 2011 remake? Does it matter which?

Hope is but a candle. That burns in the vacuum.

I often find myself looking over my shoulder or around the vicinity every ten minutes or so whenever I'm out and about, checking to see if the area is clear of any possible threats to me or someone else. I don't know why I've been reacting like this so much, and I feel like it's only going to happen more often.

When you look at your reflection, is it all you want to see?

Most cigars aren't for inhaling.

I watched the 2011 one. Some people swear by the 1999 one but it just seemed largely inferior to me. I'm not a big anime watcher though.

The 2011 one has more arcs too

It's not a meme. Deleuze is the official philosopher of the pathetic xeno-tranny community which is responsible for his recent popularization

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>then

Perhaps you shouldn't be writing at all.

this

I need these threads

You do get it in a way. My problem is, I am of the opinion that most people are good and want to do good. I believe an individual is capable of more empathy than they realize. But my ego makes me think I'm better than most people in that I think anyone that lives their life differently than I do, is a slave to their own freedoms. That they do things, just because they can. And I judge people too much and presume upon the lives they have led, after interacting with them for only a short while. Part of me wants the world to become a better place, and has hope that it will, whereas part of me wants a gamma ray burst to take us all out. Worst of all, I always assume I'm the smartest person in the room and that everyone else "doesn't know what I know". And that makes me feel as if I'm lying to myself when I say I'm a good person. Deep inside, I'm just a solipsistic person. And that's followed by a feeling of self loathing.

When I try to show, it comes off as pretentious
If I try to dial it back, it becomes all telling-no-show
I would say I've transcended past caring about what anonymous chucklefucks think about my writing, but the truth is its a humorous cope in which I try to lie to myself about the quality of my work that I just can't seem to fix
Is this a cry for help or actually some form of satire about the average wannabe-author's angst about their writing?
Its actually the former masquerading as the latter

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Do you think they felt bad when they were being noisy fuckers keeping you up at night?

Beat the truth out of her. Cheating whores dont deserve civilised treatment.

>or only the murder of what came before it?

This. Good point btw. I don't believe it's possible to be a fascist without also being a jaded reactionary.

Not my point, Richard Evans makes this argument in the last chapter of The Coming of the Third Reich. I'm not sure I agree with him. How could Nazi Fascism not be a revolution? I can think of a lot of architectural turnover in a Latin America with less inspired rationale.

"Show don't tell" is a useful advice for inexperienced writers but it is fundamentally misleading. The only thibg you can really do in literature is tell. "Show" here is just abother way of telling. Skilled writers can have a field day with the various kinds of telling and how they contradict each other. Writers of fantastic tales and sci-fi can be pretty adept at it for instance.

Don't focus on showing, focus on : who is telling what, and how, from what perspective, and for what purpose. Careful study of practice will help you achieve engaging stprytemling without even being much of a good writer.

For study read short stories, particularly Poe, Borges, Bioy Casares, Gogol, Nabokov, Cortazar, Marquez (the south americans and particularly the argentinians turn out to be great at this).

Accelerationism is the only ideology of peace, combining neglect and exit.

Confront her about it as aggressively as possible, if you have no proof whatsoever you can still tell her to stop seeing this guy immediately. See how she reacts, if she refuses show no mercy.

This is absolutely true.
The twitter Bios I get ro read sometimes are beyond Belief.

>if something is coded as male, it's the same as something being male. There's no difference.
Yeah, I remember reading that in a biology text book.

managerial state is not made for humans
people are expected to know where they were, what they were doing and how many assets they had on any given day in the past ten years

vagrancy is outlawed because sedentary work is paramount to domestication

File for divorce and leave when she's out. Fuck that cunt. You could also hire a private detective (pro or amateur.) does the boss have a partner? If so, get her involved also.

The people who want accelerationism are generally those who have little to lose (or at least so they think) and have a "let it all burn" mentality. And if it's not a meme, then accelerationism will supposedly bring radical political and social change (that can't be entirely peaceful or not induce some level of suffering)

Any good books to read about the managerial state? Besides James Burnham's "Managerial Revolution" (planning on starting that soon but hoping to find more recent works)

I could swear that with streaming, YouTube, and podcasts, people are moving back to an entirely oral, post-literate culture. Exclusively listening to people talk online, posting videos or streams of themselves talking, getting news and information from podcasts or "video essays" instead of reading it themselves. It's eerie.

There's a large empty plot of land several blocks away from where I live. There aren't many of those left around here, which makes me wonder why someone hasn't built a building, two buildings shrubby, paradoxical patch of wilderness.

It's surrounded by a fence that if I exerted myself I could climb over in 5 seconds. The teenager in my wants to. It faces the river on the eastern side and there is a depression in the terrain on the western side that drops off from the sidewalk. If you stood somewhere between those two boundaries you would be out of sight.

Here's the kicker, it's just down the block from one of the most heavily monitored centers in the world, a government building. Except the two locations have nothing to do with each other, and it's not as if barbarians would use the empty plot as a staging area to launch catapults at the government!

I have no idea why I find this empty lot so fascinating. But it needs to be explored, documented for posterity. Here is unknown territory, as mysterious and foreboding as the deepest Amazon jungle.

> buildings *in this shrubby, paradoxical patch of

>The teenager in *me wants to

Do it. Curiosity is the greatest human quality imo.

My step-father passed away of brain cancer 10 months ago. It's been very hard on my mother, my step-sister and my step-brother.

My mother forced us apart growing up by manipulating me into hating him (side effect of co-dependence) and I only had a good relationship with him for like a year or two before he got his diagnosis. I found out how much I genuinely liked the man and his simple farming ways and had a lot to learn from him. When we weren't set against each other. For no reason really. I want to weep for this time and the ghost of the only father relationship I ever had a chance at having. He always loved me.

I see the grief my family feels who were raised by him and married to him and I feel alienated because I don't feel what they feel. I barely miss him.

I am the guy who met this girl in Japan. She had a boyfriend and pretty much pulled my leg. I am not angry, I am glad for what we lived together.

holy fuck all i do is browse this shithole and youtube and mercilessly beat the fuck outta my dick. I just want to read books and be a bloomer and work out more and improve myself but I secretly sabotage myself by questioning if i even want to change. I just want to better myself but I guess I don't really want to because I can't produce any change in my life and all of this is creating a lot of internal conflict and i feel like Im dying and i deal with all this stress by masturbating and reinforcing my problems.

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if you are struggling with self-control, start by forcing it upon yourself. add some site blocking extensions to your browser. every once in a while force yourself to go on a long walk without bringing a phone with you. every little step will give you a little strength and make it all a little easier. we can do it, user

the appointment of hitler and emergency transfer of power to the national socialists took place under legal circumstances, and all the changes they made were effected while still following the laws of the weimar constitution (in fact, the weimar republic wasn't technically destroyed until 1945 and the surrender of nazi germany to the allies). if you argue that this was *still* a revolution, you'd have to concede that things like the civil rights amendments were similarly revolutionary, as both fundamentally changed their countries' core legal doctrine and overwrote a lot of previously passed legislation while never taking entirely illegal action against the state.

Can I really learn history, philosophy, literature etc all at great levels? Or will I just be a fun facts guy. We arent alive enough to truly learn anything man and our brains only get worse. Sometimes its so overwhelming I dont want to bother learning anything at all

>And as for our future, one will hardly find us again on the paths of tlose Egyptian youths who endanger temples by night, embrace statues, and want by all means to unveil, uncover, and put into a bright Iight whatever is kept concealed for good reasons. No, this bad taste, this will to truth, to "truth at any price", this youthful madness in the love of truth, have lost their charm for us: for that we are too experienced, too serious, too gay, too burned, too deep. We no longer believe that truth remains truth when the veils are withdrawn - we have lived enough not to believe this. Today we consider it a rnatter of decency not to wish to see everything naked, or to be present at everything, or to understand and "know" everything. Tout comprendre - c'est tout mepriser. "Is it true that God is present everywhere?" a little girl asked her mother; "I think that's indecent" - a hint for philosophers!

Based nee-chan.

im taking my typewriter and renting a cabin in colorado for a week in june and im looking forward to that. i need time away because i really dislike where i live but due to some things out of my control now isnt the best time to permanently move which sucks. i have a hard time finding joy in things or being able to focus on anything, even reading. Yea Forums is the only "social media" that ive used for probably about 8 months now and i havent had focus problems until recently so i dont know what the deal is.
i usually see a lot of anons who are struggling in these threads but dont forget youve got a support group on this board

Just got a box set of short stories and writing published by the John Birch Society from an elderly neighbor. I'm gonna learn a whole lot about the communist subversion of America

The virtues that constitute a good man are integrity, humility, and courage. I believe they are best articulated in a mantra.

My word is an iron bond, and although I am as common as any man, I will gladly die before it breaks.

As long as I cultivate those virtues and embody that statement i know that men can say whatever like about me and my life, but will always end their statement with "but he is, was, a good man".

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I'm an undergrad starting an internship at WGBH in Boston MA in five days. I'll be helping with web content editing, video production, and distribution. I'm scared shitless but very excited, and plan on writing about the experience.

It's an interesting experience to me largely because I've spent my whole life consuming public media like most people from an outside perspective. Everyone has an idea or opinion of it, an evaluation of this massive object in the world, like many other things. "Public media is evil, public media is great, public media is run by democrats, a waste of money, a good use of money, etc etc etc..." and now I actually get to go inside the machine and see what it's actually like. Few people will ever get to do this, and I'm trying to wrap my head around how unique this is.

I wonder what it will be like? As of now, the rose-tinted glasses are still on, and I do believe that what WGBH/ PBS does is good for the public. Has anyone else here worked for WGBH/ PBS?

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I'm in love with them. I've never even seen their face in person, their voice is only something I have imagined. I do not know what I'll feel when they are in my arms, or when we are playing mini golf, or when I lean down to kiss them. But that doesn't matter. Love is much more than kissing and being together. Love is that feeling deep down in your chest when you think about someone and you can only smile. Love is when you cannot imagine an individual leaving your life. Love is wanting to hold onto something forever and ever. I love them.

I hate people who are afraid of death because it means they enjoy life and it makes me jealous.

>Unthinking acquiescence to a child's request
>Consequential dissatisfaction for trivial suspense
>Suitable and compulsory rhyme at the author's behest

I lived in a really fucked up home as a kid. Is that why I bite, why I'm a prick? Can trauma take away your ability to be a "good person," or does it just reduce your ability to be an alright person? I think it's interesting how most people say "I'm a good person," when in reality most of them just go about their lives focusing on themselves, work, kids, money, etc, and they consider that to be "good." It's not being a good person you self-centered ass. Not doing anything destructive does not make you a good human being, it just means you're not doing any damage.

Whether I'm a prick naturally or a prick as a result of all that fucked up stuff I went through as a kid, does it really even matter if I'm still a cunt either way?

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Can't find a free ebook Not So Wild a Dream by Eric Sevareid, was looking forward to reading it. Well, it goes on my "to buy" list. I'll read Burroughs instead.

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of*

I love this board and I love you all '-'

Having to explain 2 hours to my family why I am a fucking failure today.

Wev that was hard.

I'm going to therapy (again) next week. I can never get over the feeling that I'm wasting everyone's time by doing it, either because it seems like my problems aren't real problems or because I can't explain anything properly. Hopefully this time will be different. I'm so tired of feeling like this and doing nothing with my life and being so dependent on everyone who's unfortunate enough to get close to me and then being angry with people who are close to me...

Has anyone read Calvino's If on a winter's night a traveler? I can hardly remember the book at all but I remember being so enamored with it; the only one of his to do so to me (IC and Cosmicomics, and so far Difficult Loves, did nothing for me at all (probably I didn't understand them)). Interesting writer.