>According to iconic Watchmen writer Alan Moore, superheroes’ powers would be useless if they existed in real life. Moore expressed his subversive thoughts during a storytelling course for BBC Maestro.
>"If you think about it, most superpowers are useless. If you have heat vision, how is that going to benefit you in any way? Well, you can set fire to things. If you've got a box of matches, you can set fire to things. The only thing heat vision would be good for is if you became some sort of short order chef."
>“If you could run really fast, what is there that's that important that you would have to get there that early, what good would that power actually be? What job would you get with super speed? You'd be in pizza delivery. There would be all these super speed characters flashing around the city, delivering peoples’ pizza.”
Alan Moore Claims Superhero Powers Would Be Useless in Real Life
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Speed is pretty cool
>Whimpering fun hating boomer falling out of style screeches entering JK Rowling areas of cringe to attempt to stay relevant before he keels over and dies forgotten and alone
How is Alan Moore? He’s never written anything of value recently so who cares.
For a guy who keeps going on about how he wants to disassociate from capeshit, he sure does let it live rent free in his head.
Buddy if I had heat vision or super speed IRL I would find a way to make it work.
>trying so hard to sound smart you sound stupid
>Alan Moore
Here's the video:
youtube.com
>If [fantastic thing for children] existed in real life it wouldn't be fantastic. It would actually be boring and lame! Buy my pretentious book where I talk shit about [fantastic thing for children]!
I am so fucking sick of deconstruction faggotry it's not even funny.
Alan Moore? The writer?
Alan Moore is recognized as one of the best comic writers of all time, and many of his works are best-sellers even today.
It's sad how his stories are still better than anything Marvel published in years
Always the same garbage threads every single day, always guaranteed replies. Yea Forums consistently establishing itself as the shittiest board on the site.
Ridiculous. If you had heat vision there are a huge number of industrial applications, especially if its laser cutting bullshit like superman.
Super speed, you get payed boatloads of money to be a cross country courier for people who need physical deliveries RIGHT NOW. Hell, you can undercut all sorts of things by just cutting out shipping costs, and this is assuming you want to be legit and not just grab cash out of tills or rig games of chance.
Still better than Yea Forums. At least people talk about cartoons and comics here.
I'm pretty sure if you had one or both of these abilities, you could make it into the CIA as a top secret assassin or something, and could have help prevented many wars, dictatorships, etc. Is the government really going to turn something down like that?
Bro, I bet if Superman existed in real life he'd be evil like in Invincible and The Boys.
Moore hates how successful his work with DC became (mostly because they deny him shekels due to rights fuckery), but he's also deeply aware of the fact those stories were the last time anyone ever legitimately gave a shit about his writing. He wants to get away from capeshit, but the drooling masses that hold him up as an iconic literary figure don't even give his other work the time of day.
It's sad, really. He'll always only be known as the Watchmen guy who was half the reason Joker is edgy forever (along with Nolan's movies).
spbp
>Yea Forums shits on twitter users for treating capeshit as real life moral exemplars and then turns around and seethes whenever Moore does it
If everyone one girl powers then it would be just like that initial chaotic era from MHA with everyone doing whatever they want with their powers.
I mean, he isn't entirely wrong. Most comicbook powers are designed purely with superhero fights in mind, and thus have little practical application outside of them.
Obviously mobility and utility powers would be more useful in day to day life, I think we all would have fun with a safe and easy Teleport (assuming you don't have to worry about accidentally teleporting yourself into space/the ground if you 'miss'). But stuff like shooting fire from your hands is kind of just a party trick unless you are in a fight.
Oh sure, you might have some kind of INDUSTRIAL purpose, but what the fuck does that matter? Who in their right mind would build an entire factory that specifically DOESN'T do the job that you can do, just so you can stand in place and shoot fire from your hands 24 hours a day? And it has to be 24 hours a day, because a machine that does the same job would do that no problem. So for your power to be useful for an 'industrial purpose', you have to assume that some company is going to build a factory that caters specifically to you as an employee, accepts that they will make less money doing so, and runs the risk of you just LEAVING at any time you want. Which is pretty stupid.
The more destructive the power is, the less likely it is to be useful for any other purpose.
The problem is not the idea of super powers itself, but rather the fact that those are some garbage bin-tier super powers. If you had the strength and endurance of Superman and not just fucking heat vision or super speed on the same terms of the Flash, you'd be a living demigod, not some schmuck with a lame ability.
You also have stuff like Time Stop that goes beyond and opens infinite possibilities.
>OP keeps spamming the same handful of interview soundbites from years ago
How can someone be this much of a faggot?
They have superpowers, magic and high technology. Have they considered using these to address climate change? At least it's better than protesting.
Superman can just ask for any policy to be implented by threatening to blow up entire power structures and he's there holding a sign. Useless dude.
I mean, that does kind of point out how useless most powers are by your examples of 'good ones'.
Yeah, just have the powers of some of the most OP beings in all of fiction. You know, be infinitely strong or have control over time or total control over reality. Then having powers is totally sweet!
Thats obviously true. But no one is going to be happy being Wolverine and working an office job, or having one of the 99 versions of "I shoot [insert color] energy from my [hands/eyes/insert body part], which comes from [5 page cosmic backstory that isn't even canon anymore]". Those kinds of powers are unless outside of a fight.
Ok
>genius intellect or any psychic power affecting people around you such as mind read/control
>telekinesis and any offensive/defensive/utility energy projection
>any kinesis/energy manipulation such as fire/electricity/water/pringles
>magic or reality warping/probability/transmutation
>longevity or immortality
Superpowers are not just physical.
There will always be biters. There are about four Moore-related right now all getting replies.
It's like one of east vs west spammers straight up announced he would post the next day and let the thread go, and predicted hundreds of replies. Obviously, he got it right.
>>any kinesis/energy manipulation such as fire/electricity/water/pringles
Lets be serious: what would you actually do with something like water manipulation besides me an asshole with it? Same goes for fire, lightning, etc. Sounds cool on paper, actually pretty fucking worthless.
>Those kinds of powers are unless outside of a fight.
FUCKING REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY!
>what would you actually do with something like water manipulation besides me an asshole with it?
Hydroelectricity.
But that's a boring answer when the right answer is fuck you I got magical powers.
Fuck your office work because Magic exists in that context and I'm gonna be fucking mermaids in the lost kingdom of Atlantis in a week.
Power up anything driven by electricity or fire.
Infinite fuel.
If you are metal mancer - fix anything within minutes of any difficulty, create constructs unavailable to anyone.
Make an invincible crypto farm.
Or an incredibly powerful calculating unit capable of broken shit.
Huff some grandpa's internet ass gas and manipulate internet, with loads of possibilities.
Mind fuckery has boundless applications, from simple brainwash to some elaborate scheming and manipulation.
> what would you actually do with something like water manipulation besides me an asshole with it?
m.youtube.com
Man made climate change is probably the biggest scam since the Dale
Here's the Mega for the full course, maybe it'll give more context. I haven't watched it yet.
mega.nz
and with this statement the the thread went to shit.
Heat vision is useful for cooking, and I wish I had super toughness.
He has been broken ever since Rorschach got away from him. The constant SEETHING and COPING rotted his brain.
Wolverine healing means I will never be sick again.
>electricity
You don't want to never pay electricity bills?
>OP is traumatised by the words of Alan Moore, spams the same thread everyday
Oh yes, he was seething at her.
>If you could run really fast, what is there that's that important that you would have to get there that early, what good would that power actually be?
The fuck does this mean? It'd be great for saving time and not having to drive/take public transport.
>"If you think about it, most superpowers are useless. If you have heat vision, how is that going to benefit you in any way? Well, you can set fire to things. If you've got a box of matches, you can set fire to things. The only thing heat vision would be good for is if you became some sort of short order chef."
This is a world where this 'hot knife' and '1000 degree ball' videos get tens of millions of views. Even 'useless' powers, if visually interesting could easily make a person rich and internet famous. The power doesn't need a practical use to be of pratical benefit to the wielder. Just gotta find your niche/audience.
Use hear vision to heat my food
save money on gas and electricity
>says that superpowers would ve useless IRL
>gives ways they could be applied IRL
Moore hates how edgy capeshit's become, yet he still can't help but shit on them on a conceptual level? Also if he genuinely thinks this, why not simply write stories like this to reflect that? I would absolutely be down for a cheesy story about a rookie chef with heat vision using his powers to move up in the culinary world while trying not to get caught by cutthroat rivals willing to expose him. A pizza delivery speedster constantly trying to avoid hazards and villains that delay the order also sounds super fun.
But that's the thing, Moore isn't interested in making fun stories to reverse the damage he's done. He's just here to bitch and moan, because he realized he's a hack and that's all he can do. He's basically no different than the average Yea Forums user at this point.
How do I download this? It's too big for one go.
pastebin.com
Here's the links to the individual files
Evil kinevil x 10
Thanks a lot!
Delivering organs like flash did sound useful and I’m not sure of this, but could ice powers restore the poles or it doesn’t work that way?
With heat vision and/or super speed I could murder Alan Moore, every retard that interviews or posts threads about him and destroy all copies of his fagotron works before anyone could do anything about it.
Check and mate.
Millions of people WISH they could leave a mark on history, but then you have dipshits like Moore and every Hollywood superhero actor who doesn't want to be immortalized as their best role because they don't want to be "typecast" screeching:
>NOOOOO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE REMEMBERED FOOOOR! I WANT BIG BOY RECOGNITION!
Grow the fuck up, Alan.
Alan Moore is trying an awful lot to make himself relevant lately. Why is that? Is he running out of dosh?
That is so fukken woke, it's sickening.
Nah, Moore's just taking the piss. Nobody is this retarded.
He's writing books, just got out one called Illuminations. Has a Maestro writing master class that's doing well. Seems to be doing fine.
I guess yeah most comicfags don't give a shit about whatever he's doing but his old comic work that he moved on from is still top selling which is fucking embarrassing for the comic industry that no one has been able to produce shit and he's like he seems to be doing fine.
>there's no planet b
LMAO wtf not only do they know there's a planet b, they've been to it, along with planet c, d, e, f, g, h, etc
That's the most pretentious view I ever seen in my life.
It's like saying "oh I guessed literature peaked at to kill a mockingbird how sad".
In today's climate, you can make bank with superpowers regardless of how practical they are. Literally just make you a youtube channel and do goofy or dumb shit with your powers until you find two other guys with powers and make a podcast. Set for life.