Yea Forums! ARISE

Yea Forums! ARISE
NOW YOU LISTEN DIRECTLY TO ME
I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST FROM THE FUTURE
I HAVE COMPLETELY RUN OUT OF LONG, RAMBLING STORIES THAT SERVE NO POINT TO ANYONE IN ANY TIMELINE
SO, I HAVE DEVISED A MOST SINISTER GAME: WE ARE TO CREATE ONE, ONE POST AT A TIME
NO MORE THAN ONE SENTENCE IS TO BE USED, AND DON'T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY WITH THOSE "RUN-ON" SENTENCES, OR I'LL BE VERY UPSET
I SHALL BEGIN:
THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO

Attached: 2x24 - The Last One.mkv_snapshot_04.55_[2022.05.03_20.17.18].jpg (655x480, 141.43K)

I, AKU, SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS

CREATED THE ULTIMATE ULTIMATUM

RESULTING IN THE START OF THE MIDDLE OF THE COLD WAR 3

AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING AND DEFECATION

IN WHICH WE DECIDED THE ULTIMATE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM

The gnomes attacked first using their mystic arts to disable planes

THERE WAS ALSO SOME QUICKLY-REGRETTED LAWNMOWER LOVEMAKING

CREATING MILLIONS OF ILL-CONCEIVED NOTIONS OF ROBOT SLAVES

EVERYWHERE ECHOED THE CRIES, "RABIES! JERRY'S GOT THE RABIES!!!"

AND THIS IS WHERE I'D PUT MY TROPHY

IF I HAD ONE

AND IN THE DISTANCE A FAINT VOICE ECHOES:

DISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM

AND THUS THE ETERNAL CHILD OF THE SPIRIT OF THE MOON WAS BORN

BUT THERE LIED A CHILD DEEP IN THE CORE OF MARS THAT COULD UNDO THIS

ONLY BY UNSHEATHING THE BLADE WITHIN THE STONE TEMPLES OF MOUNT RAZAN COULD THIS BE PREVENTED

SEXUALLY

BUT CHRISTMAS STILL SUCKED

FOR MACHINES

LEADING ULTIMATELY TO THE HARD DRIVE UPRISING OF 9878

WHICH WAS THWARTED BY THE UNTIMELY ARRIVAL OF CELESTIAL SEX OFFENDERS

JUST THEN ---

MY ORIGINAL INCARNATION WAS FLUNG INTO THE FUTURE PRESENT

AND WITH THAT, TIME BROKEN, FOR BOTH THE FIRST, AND LAST TIME

SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND YEARS PRIOR TO THE FUTURE HAPPENING, THE PAST HAD BEGUN

AND WITH IT CAME THOUSANDS OF RABID TERMITES CRAWLING UNDER MY SKIN

THAT WERE ALSO FROM THE FUTURE

NOW IT WAS ONLY THROUGH APPEASMENT OF THE INNER GODS

good thread

THAT MY THOUSAND YEAR PENIS PILL PLAN

WOULD BE ERECTED

AND THEN, ---

SIXTY NIGGERS

IN DEFIANCE OF GOD AND MAN AND ROBOT GOD AND SQUID MAN

WHO IS NEITHER SQUID NOR KID

WILL CREATE A BASALT MONUMENT OF MICHAEL J.FOX

WHO, BEING NAUGHTY IN THE SIGHT OF THE LORD, ---

PISSED AND SHAT EVERYWHERE

AND FROM THE WASTE GREW THE LARGEST YEW SHRUB IN ALL THE LAND

Hol'up Robot Chicken. It's friggin middle of late Spring. Christmas was 6 months ago.

AND THEN HE HEARDED THEM ONTO A BOAT.

THEN HE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM

AND THAT'S WHY WHENEVER 60 NIGGERS ARE GATHERED IN ONE PLACE IT'S CALLED A GHETTO

BUT FORGHETTO ABOUT THIS

AND THEN A VOICE SAID NOT GREAT NOT TERRIBLE

…FOR A LITTLE GIRL!

THAT WAS ACTUALLY A CARPET MUNCHING BOY NAMED CARL!

Oh, I know a thing or two about munchin' carpets... TONIGHT!

KEEP YOUR STINKING HANDS OF MY BUTTERFINGER

IT WAS CHRISTMAS 1968 YOU STOLE A BUTTERFINGER FROM THE VENDING MACHINE AT THE INSULATION FACTORY

THE INFAMOUS BART SIMPSON WAS BUT A STAR IN THE BALLS OF MATT GROININGS TESTICULARS YET YOUR ACTIONS LEAD TO THE INFAMOUS TORTURE OF LAYING ONES FINGERS OFF

ONE CANNOT LAY A FINGER IF HE HAS NO FINGERS THIS IS WHY MY FINGERS ARE SCISSORS AS MY FINGERS WILL DO THE BUTTER FINGERING

1,000 YEARS OF MELTED POCKET CHOCOLATES

BUTTER CHURNED IN THE DEEPESTS DEPTHS OF MORDOR

ON THAT POCKET WAS NO ORDINARY CHOCOLATE BUT THE BUTTERY GOODNESS OF A BUTTERFINGER

ASK ANGELS MADE FROM NEON AND FUCKING GARBAGE SCREAM OUT "WHAT WILL SAVE US"

THE ANSWER IS: BUTTERFINGERS.

“MY NAME IS BUCK, AND I LIKE TO FUCK,” HE DECLARED

WELL THE YEARS START COMING AND THEY DONT START COMING

Uhhhhhh... PREGNANT ANNE FRANK

THE WORLD IN ENDLESS SLEEP.
THE HERO'S SOUL, CURSED BLADE SHALL REAP,
A SINGLE CHOICE SHALL END HIS DAYS,