Write what’s on your mind

Write what’s on your mind

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biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel 1:4-28,Ezekiel 10&version=NIV
youtu.be/hNGEB7ou0eA
accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress.html
e-hentai.org/g/661895/394adee1be/
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i am damaged and i want to die

I'm thinking about my cousin in a sexual manner

I think I fell in love with a girl that's not my girlfriend. Either that or I'm lonely. Either option isn't great. Worst is that the girl I think I'm in love with is going off 700 miles or so from the uni I'm going to (and she's repulsed by sex, I don't know why I'm not put off by this) and my current girlfriend I've been with for two years. I'm fuvked

I want to learn to meditate though! What are some good resources?

My brain is full of fog, I need to stop watching porn. The drummer should kill himself, but I need to read.

Forgot to mention how deeply engrained I am into my current girlfriends family, and like. I still love her most of the time. I felt a feeling towards a friend I know online last night though. So i might just be lonely.
Thank God Im not about to share a dorm with my current girlfriend

I have four months off from work this fall and, though I was given the time off under the pretense of completing a formal education, I am actually just going to use it to finish my novel. My fears:
>I will be undisciplined
>I will write nothing
>I will binge on alcohol
What I hope happens:
>I experience what the life of a full-time writer would be like
>I read and write for several hours, five days a week
>I meet others of a similar mindset.

This thread will be moved to /r9k/.

frogposters are the worst thing in this site

Ever since I first had acid, all I can think of is when I'll trip next. Life itself feels so mundane when one compares it to the intricacies which are evoked when under the influence of psychoactive drugs. It may sound cliche but it feels like I hadn't lived before I experienced its effects. Nothing is the same any longer, nor do I wish it to be, but I need to experience it again, else I go mad.

There’s goodness in my actions. You can’t tell me all these 25 + married old men and women don’t look or fantasize about the opposite gender. Although I wish I could fix my unbearable craves. I still treat my gf like she’s number 1 since I never cheated. It’s all in the unconscious mind, but you may be onto something if it’s affecting my mental state everyday.

We're all going to make it.

i feel a cataclysmic event coming guys... something big... and trust me.... its gonna rock your world

Proximity is everything, denial of the distant is meaningless. It is not virtue to forsake a certain future if it is far, and it certainly isn't difficult either. It takes very little to dim demand, only the immediate denied has any weight. As evidence consider the fat person, none reasonably wish to be so, none lack the means in some technical or abstract sense to not be so, the problem is after all a surfeit of stuff. Yet the fat person exists, for contrary to adage we have stomachs bigger than our myopic downcast eyes, for gluttony satisfied is ever within stubby arm's reach and tomorrow but a distant fiction. To wit, plans are nothings that abstract progress, every promise is a lie.

Thank you this is nice to hear. It's a muckier situation to be in though because I don't feel like it's just lust I have for this other girl. It's definitely uncomfortable. I was diagnosed with depression before this all happened though and lately probably my drug use has made it worse so I think I'm gonna go on like, a month long break from everything psychoactive. Feels cruddy that I'm not telling my current girlfriend this because she'll be silly about it or some I told you so or be too enthusiastic about it. She's never really liked that ive smoked pot and she doesn't realize that I smoke cigarettes, done dxm, Xanax, and valium

Should note that I'm not addicted to any of that I wrote after pot. Even tobacco I smoke regularly enough to call myself a smoker but not regularly enough to experience withdrawals

I feel like a good majority of people on /adv/ shouldn't be giving advice. Also Eli Whitney was white and a whole generation of people thought he was black.

Good luck!

Thanks, buddy. One of my goals:

What denomination?

a mix of both is the true Yea Forumserary lifestyle though

I'm heavily considering running off to Asia to become a freelance English tutor/writer. I've become disillusioned with the whole idea of careers and saving for retirement. Who gives a shit about living comfortably in your old age if you've done nothing with your life?

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The group I meet with now is Protestant. I've been considering attending an Orthodox or Catholic church though, or a Protestant group that is more interested in dying to the modern culture

>Protestant
be specific, unless it's some nondenominational thing

It's a non-denominational house church. We started meeting after we left a Baptist church. The church fell apart after the pastor cheated on his wife.

What denomination did you grow up in?

>25
>old man
Jesus Christ this is absurd. Read houellebecq and shed your cultish beliefs

Same guy,
Honestly, psychoactive stuff could fix or unfix. I use dhrooms yearly to microdose the thoughts away. Marijuana for me personally, left me pondering on those what ifs too much so I recommend avoiding it until she is with or out of your mind. Things change so be careful and accept whatever happens. Men are biologically made to be polygamy but having a wife and monogamy is a choice of anger and bitterness to your partner slightly (if it comes to that through the ages and lack of therapy for each), but yea hope everything goes well and you make your decision. Opening up about your inner problems could change things for better or worst. I told my gf how she was second choice and I lusted over one while with her. She took it bad since it was a breakup exchange but were still together since breakups bring 2 together closer (makes sex better for sure). Only thing to change is to open up about it to your gf or keep it in your mind. Because even when I told her I still feel it. The present moment after telling her was a big big relief but, I still have the problem til today. Sad curse lol.

Based cousinposter

I just got an idea for a really good Youtube series that I think is going to make me filthy fucking rich so I can finally quit my miserable 9-5 wagie job.

why don't you share with us

I've failed to get into medical school twice after graduation, and am stuck at home with my parents working a job that I hate. My only close friend is attending grad school a couple states over, and he's been in a relationship with a clingy Chinese chick for the past year. We still try to have regular contact, but it's pretty clear to me that his relationship is only going to continue to cut down on this.

thanks....I know all too well what the drunken-wandering-undisciplined-lonely life is like. I've had quite enough of it, to be honest.

I'm going to make fun of fantasy books. I'm a comedian.

Relatively generic, very modern non-denominational Prot churches, with theology resembling a mix between Baptist/Reformed doctrine

Evangelical?

How am I supposed to concentrate on lectures when I am constantly thinking about pussy? If universities were still male only I wouldn’t have these problems.

Yeah, definitely Evangelical

Well, I don't know if I can help you. The one good thing about being a mainline Protestant is that there is a real sense of institutional strength

my friend, take your future seriously. even if you are against careerism you should think about your future self and what you want out of life.
you're too young to have a fat gf, friend. do you see yourself married to an obese latina?
you'll be alright.
look at grad schools for semi-related jobs in the medical field. healthcare admin is lucrative if you're a burger.
this is the most protestant thing i've ever read

vagina

Nothing can stay on my mind for too long because over stimulus crowds it out. This is why, bar miraculous change, I won't accomplish anything. Whenever I sit down to write, I'm so busy not thinking about everything that I can think of nothing.

It's all good. Personally I feel myself being drawn away from Evangelicalism. I think I need to be less worried about converting others and more worried about changing myself. Catholic and Orthodox mystics have been more of a comfort to me than anyone I've read recently and the only Protestant authors that still interest me are Kierkegaard and Boehme. I still have to decide how/when to leave and how to handle the whole thing, but I suppose that will come

Yeah I've heard a lot of good things about shrooms being sort of medical. I've thought on it loads. I might try it this next summer. And yeah I agree on the pot about it making me think on what-ifs. Only time I didn't get like that this past month was the time that I was also on valium and I'm not trying to be the guy always on valium
Thanks, youve given some good things to think on.

I know what I have to do, but I don't know why I don't just do it.

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Tired as fuck. Frankly, It’s getting hard to see the point in going on.

Would it be retarded to talk to the girl I think I'm in love with about it? I don't have any sort of chance with her. There's so many things that counteract any relationship. But like. I think I really miss what we had as friends and I think she was my closest friend for a while in a sort of sad way that I really didn't and still don't have too many folks I could be real with like I could with her. I'm just an aspie for not talking to her more in a platonic way but I feel like I didnt have the opportunity

You need to realize the cravings don't stop and you shouldn't "fix" them. Monogamy is about having the desire to stray and deliberately abstaining as a show of loyalty. You'll feel way less angst if you just accept the feelings instead of wrestling with guilt. You're not guilty unless you act on them. Hell, use the frustration to re-engergize sex with the gf.

Don't listen to the anons telling you to abandon her at the first sign of attraction to anyone else. Long term relationships don't function on hormones alone.

Im addicted to videogames :(

thinking about my upcoming trip to ukraine
can't wait to see real people again

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I want to kill myself everyday

Thank you too that makes sense

>Would it be retarded to talk to the girl I think I'm in love with about it?
Yes. Yes that is super retarded. People talk and it will blow up in your face. It takes months to years for this sort of chemistry to subside, but subside it does.

Maybe you DO decide to jump ship - it happens. What you mustn't do is jump ship quickly based on butterflies and pee-pee tingles. Unless you're for some reason uninterested in building a life with current gf, just back away slowly.

postpone that. pick an age to die and before that, live to the fullest.

Half true, but a dangerous meme because a full life must be built. user risks falling into a pit of hedonism and alienation with that advice.

t. I did exactly that - I think the end is approaching fast

I would ask if they are hot but I already know the answer.

I'm posting in this thread because this thread will be gone soon, and this is what it's like to live before dying. Death is real and I've seen it happen. A few sentences, breaths, and seconds in protest of oblivion, and then the inevitable.

> user risks falling into a pit of hedonism and alienation with that advice
that's exactly what you want to do before dying.

This but I also want to live.

What does it mean to be in the "dark night of the soul" when you're an atheist ? A faithless shouldn't be in the throes of a crisis of faith, it's not fair.

As other user have said, you'll go through a mix of both inevitably. Almost no good writer is a page-filling machine, what matters is snatching completed sentences from the jaws of booze, girls and the dreaded blank page.

not every personal crisis is related to faith.
it reminds me of existentialist vs christian existentialist views: they're the same, except the latter uses God as a primary observer, and individual as the secondary.
it's like that with personal issues too, believers tend to percieve them through God or tie it to their failth. this way it's a bit more dispersed and distant.

i was trying to fuck my 18 yr old co worker who does heroin and has a kid

i decided maybe not ( ? )

> does heroin, has a kid at 18
risky as fuck, a bouquet of STDs with HIV is not worth it

Oh jesus oh god oh fuck we're gonna be transhumanist cyborgs in the future

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yeah... but she tall and cute and sings...
also hasn't touched the liquid venom yet just the tar pit

cockroaches scattering to the corners as you open the door to dark room
pins of light through rusted steel
a corpse and a temple

my teeth hurt and i need to see a dentist but im a NEET who's still covered by my dad's dental plan and the last time i went to a dentist they rejected me for not having my own dental plan and i just want to take care of myself and i'm poor as fuck and alone and it's painful as fuck and i'm writhing in pain

Sleep

Currently having to confront all of my pre existing beliefs. I have had a series of spiritual experiences with psychedlics and meditation that have led me to believe in the perennial philosophy. And I realized that hinduism is the closest of traditions to metaphysical reality. I can see that chastity and vegetarianism are not only morally superior but also conducive to well being. I'm on the edge of the leap of faith, becoming chaste and vegetarian, giving up the decadence of my body... and I'm very scared. I can hardly stand the decadence of Western society, and I can't believe how lost so much of humanity has been for so long. Considering moving to India and emulating based Shankara if I can. Any advice appreciated

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Why do we write the way we write? Why do we speak to eachother the way we do? We hide our intent, hoping to God that the person we’re talking to guesses correct without realization. Is each word a stream of thought, or is it a play? A rehearsal, or the final dress? Do we put on a play of ourselves, so that we have a story? A beginning, a middle, and a final note, a final punctuation that summarizes our lives in a nice little bow? A yarn, a real yarn. It never is though, and we all know it. We all think that It’s us that’s special, but every so often, when you’re up late wasting time instead of sleeping, thinking that being conscious is always worth more than being nothing. Knowing, that each night, we going on. We perform. We just don’t know if it’s final dress, or the opening…

I'm trying to read a paper but the faggot authors deciding to convert set manipulation into linear algebra, do a bunch of symbol shuffling, then convert back. So I've spent a week trying to find a proof that doesn't suck ass. Fuck those guys.

This, just found out I have complex ptsd from child abuse. Idk how to feel about the diagnosis, I just know I want to live and manage it

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i'm feeling accomplished.

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aren't we all spam? slaves to our desires, namely hunger and lust? is there a difference between us and those machines who run by code? aren't we coded to follow our hunger and lusts? just animals, nay sometimes even worse (like non-straight people). but what if I transcend my hunger and lust? i would then become a better being than all the animals, and i daresay most of the humans in this world. is this not something to strive for, to dream about?

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I'm not making enough progress fast enough.

>I want to learn to meditate though! What are some good resources?
On Golf by some faggot I forgot and Practical Shooting: Beyond Fundamentals by Brian Enos. You do not need to engage in these sports to make use of their methods. Each has excellent insight into meditation during activities rather than navel contemplation bullshit.

Why do a lot of the descriptions in the Bible sound like spaceships or some SciFi thing?

biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ezekiel 1:4-28,Ezekiel 10&version=NIV

Driving myself mad trying to write a compare and contrast thesis. I have like 12 pages of literary analysis and secondary research. If anyone can help, please respond, I have less than 12 hours to do finish this and I just can't write a fucking thesis.

Fuck mods. How could anyone get off to the idea of removing a little girl's clothes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples? Only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick cock slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow. The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, cock poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal pussy, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke. I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours.It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax,hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that cock is buried impossibly deep inside her,pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered pussy for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she murmurs breathlessly,"You came so much inside of me", then her fingers dig into your back as she feels your cock hardening inside again.

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>a whole generation of people were taught he was black
FTFY

good luck dude !

I wan't to write a novel but I have no idea how to even start writing a novel.

I'm in law school so I don't have a lot of time for it honestly. It would be nice to spend at least an hour or two a week on it tho.

youtu.be/hNGEB7ou0eA

move to the tenderloin and make up characters from people you see laying on the street asleep with heroin needles in their arms

Lawyer here. It’s now or never for you. This is the worst career path you could’ve chosen, and I don’t envy the next several years of your life. All of your interests and passions will be smothered.

>Life itself feels so mundane when one compares it to the intricacies which are evoked when under the influence of psychoactive drugs.
Memeing fucking hard. Enough psychs shows you that the trip doesn't end and it didn't start. "Oh psychs are just so much cooler than boring old reality," sound about right until that reality is knocking at your door.

Fuck jannies

fat is wack

wish somebody had told my ex this haha

based

based

B r o k e n
r
o
k

n

I'm about to take a yuppie job in NYC, through which I fully expect to drown my soul in horsepiss. Life seems pointless and I Feel like a piece of shit right now.

dont be a cuck fuck them both and stay with the one you love the most

Hopefully Venezuela triggers WW3

The only thing stopping me from killing myself is the dream that one day i'll be a successful writer, despite the fact I don't take any steps towards that goal.

yes

Beginning to realise how my BPD ex-girlfriend from when I was 16 is my Freudian mother and that I'm a complete and utter neurotic loony.

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Holy shit, how did I got so bad?
Recently I tried to go back to writing my diary (desu) that I left three years ago. The pain I felt reading the way I used to be has let me in shambles. When did I become such a selfish prick? How did all the empathy I used to have died? I want go back, bros. I I don't know how or why, I just wanna feel I am this person I'm reading about again

I have 30 pages open on escorts and babes and don't know which one to fuck

i have 3 more assignments due by tomorrow at 9:30 and im fuckign dying inside

physicians assistant?

here i am again. I will go one day and be no more. Am I important enough to leave a mark in the history of existence? No, no one is. Humans are complex animals but still just a bunch of cells. What should I do, then, with this short and absurd life? No idology is worthy of being called true and eternal. Should I embrace hedonism? I don't want to be slave to my passions. Where do I get authentic freedom then? Free from ideology, free from passions, free from other people's will stepping over mine? Those buddhist and stoics were into something, but maybe Nietzche's superman is a worthy goal? Do I accept ascetic ideals or do I reject them? In an absurd world it doesn't matter anyway. And in a material world cause and effect are necessary, so whatever I choose is determined already by the unstoppable chain of events. Either I make up a religion with morals on the basis of quantum indeterminism being right or I accept amor fati and rejoice in the unfolding of destiny towards the ultimate effect of the universal existence. I could do that, yes, and pretend humans are important enough to be major actors in that ultimate goal. I shall then help humanity progress. Now how can humans truly progress? Do I quit my job and do that science PhD I was avoiding? Should I do independent research instead? I need resources for this, I need some more time at my job. I keep pushing the boulder, now I am Sisyphus again.

same

Same desu

unironically this
literally the most reddit meme on this site

sorry, you're wrong

I really hate my job. My boss is great and my coworker is my best friend but I still hate it. I crawled up the ranks of my company to get to this mid level position as well. Stepped on a lot of brown heads. I don't know how to quit or look for a new job without fucking everything up in my life right now. I feel trapped, and I just want to go out to the woods and live off of fishing and trapping but I know that's just a childish dream as I would die of either stupidity or disease within two months.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I've just been playing video games and snorting blow to try to fix this mess but it isn't helping. It isn't going away.

meta-ironic nihilism is the most patrician belief system prove me wrong faggots

The grinding reality of relationships has hit me hard. I just dumped a girl that was insanely into me (don't worry, she wasn't that attractive), but my value in the marketplace is this shifting, ambiguous thing that oscillates between extremes of ultimate charisma and charm and the deepest pits of man-titty grotesqueness.
Let's talk about the girl I dumped. She is black. Not fat, but had huge E cups and a nothing ass. So what? Not good enough for me? It was her personality that made me want to just run away. She is an overanalytical head case that sends me paragraphs about "healing energy," and my "distancing relationship type," or whatever the fuck shocks through the neurons of her brain.
I never came while fucking her. The only thing that could get me fully hard was being rough and borderline abusive (verbal, choking, and slapping). I could only get into the sex if I either imagine that she was a Kenyan native and I was some Peace Corps kid or that she was my slave that I was raping . I even spouted out at one point in a thick southern accent "GO ON NAH, GIT!"
For these reasons and many more I dumped her.
So right now I'm laying in bed hitting up trans women and an ocean of tinder girls. I need a hole to escape into. Something white slender. A child no more of 18, a trans woman of thirty-five, a white oak tree with a slender sapling hole for me to stick my fortunes into. But I could never go back to her, I might as well be as good as those who fuck goats for sport than in bed with her.
Hidden under layers of gooey companionship, under "belonging," and "acceptance," are only the transcendant rhythm of:
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
CUNT. CUNT. CUNT. CUNT
That's all I need. I shouldn't kid myself anymore.

death

nice short story, very post modern

I entered first jhana recently. Feels like I tasted forbidden fruit. Not sure what to do next.

S(he) Be(lie)ved

how long have you been meditating? i am on a similar path

i want to have sex. i’m afraid of not being emotionally connected to the other person cause that would be weird.

Everything has become fucked passed the point anyone ever thought possible.

You should be afraid of emotional connection, virgin. Sex develops this and it hurts more than any physical wound

why does instinct tell us to burn the fields and salt the earth?

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Couple of months, can't remember exactly when I started.

>I want to learn to meditate though! What are some good resources?

Tm.org probably

The doomer mindset has shed of me, like slimy serpent skin.
Now im just apathetic with such little regard for my own health or needs that i work, go to school and work out/eat well.
But only because my general selfloathing has reached such a peak amount i can no longer feel good about being comfortable or happy.
I want to suffer goddamnit

sounds boomerpilled but interesting

She’s cute, and thats pretty much it. Will probably do nothing. It’s hard to think I’m attractive, either in body or mind. I’m fucked in the head. Hard to believe in myself during some days, most of them, if I’m being honest. A lot of them are cute, and here I’m, locked in my room, full of hunger due to barely eating yesterday, thinking about how they are cute, and how I wish I could be with one of them, instead of wasting this day away. I tried to call one of them out on a date some weeks ago, the one I’m the least close to. She said she was busy, and that was it. Should have called her friend, the one who inspired this post, the one who makes me feel silly, with a mix of nervousness and lightness, but even with her there’s just distance, just acquaintanceship and a mad craving for human connection. She probably doesn’t even like me, I’m just deluding myself. Then again, I was able to fuck things up even when a girl liked me. Why must I be incompetent in such sphere? Yes, every person is incapable at something, but must I surely be at this? Being defined by childhood and trauma, by the incompetence of adults who failed to guide and care for a developing being, that’s just unacceptable.

How I will eventually move to the UK and unify the British isles into a new Empire by annexing Ireland completely, depose the royal family and the democratic system, place myself as its Emperor with my 4 closest comrades as kings of Ireland, Scotland, Wales, and England respectfully. The various social and economic reforms I would put in place and how this would function. How I would deal with immigrants, particularly the ones non-european origin even 2nd and 3rd generation. How I would deal with the threat of war from the neighbouring EU at my openly authoritarian dictatorship. How I would do my best to recreate Plato's Callipolis.
I'm not being ironic here, I really do fantasize about this daily.

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Can't get enough of this forest the smell of junipers tree resin is beyond words I might add some to my tea

There are no useful skills in modernity, all is wasteful superfluity and confusion; a cesspool of spiritual piss and unaesthetic shit, a world of distractions from the one true reality, and I suffer.

Recommend me books for this.

I want to be /fit/, but I'm frustated I don't stop eating shit.
I want to have real life friends, but I have little contact with people since high school.
My only contact with people other than my family is when I go to the gym 4 times a week, and even so I only some small talk about exercises and most of the time I'm quiet.

You tried sports? Two birds with one stone

i had a dream last night that a girl actually talked to me. that makes me more depressed then im willing to admit for multiple different reasons.

The first person i’ve been romatically interested in for years has 0 sexual drive and will soon begin HRT. She hates her uterus and is going to have it ripped out.
TFW qt tomboy stablegirl will turn into fucking chad.
>getting cucked by chad by your crush morphing into him

The only good self-identifying “incel” is a dead one. I cannot wait until they’re all locked up toiling away in camps. It’s time for the rest of us to start putting them in their place so UNC doesn’t happen again

That’s fucked, are you not in constant psychic pain? Won’t you stop her?

i’ve tried, satan. We’re not too close and there’s no time to change her mind. The problem isn’t that she’s delusional and indoctorinated by contemporary culture, but rather that she is fundamentally broken. I’m swedish, so naturally the idea of transitioning was put into her by her surroundings, but she was broken way before she knew about the concept of transexuality. She readily agrees that she’s mentally ill, and doesn’t buy the common narrative that claims it to be natural and virtuous. Its what she wants to do though, and even if i could somehow reverse years of cultural pressure in the few weeks i have before HRT starts, she is incapable of romantic engagement.

You should still do all you can to stop her, FTM transgenderism is probably a fate worse than death. Just think of the concept of the pseudopenis for fucks sake

Be aggressive and assert you intellectual dominance by telling her that notion of male and female as uterus and penis is a puerile belief and she is a cretin for wanting to falsely exist as a biological male.

I unironically want to die at 69

What resources did you use?

White shirt now red, my bloody nose
Sleeping, you're on your tippy toes
Creeping around like no one knows
Think you're so criminal
Bruises, on both my knees for you
Don't say thank you or please
I do what I want when I'm wanting to
My soul? So cynical

I like it when you take control
Even if you know that you don't
Own me, I'll let you play the role
I'll be your animal
My mommy likes to sing along with me
But she won't sing this song
If she reads all the lyrics
She'll pity the men I know

...Imagine having a daughter in the curren year

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The man unsheathed the dildo, now covered with grime and filth, and moved on to his next toy. He pulled out a syringe that was quite huge in his palm, which must be around 200 milliliter in volume, then proceeded to take off its plunger, fitted the tip of his dangling member in the hollow tube, and lo! golden streams came flushing down within, and with rising piss levels soon damming against his member, he pulled it out, remaining urges of micturition releasing like pulse, streaming from hairy legs. Recapping the syringe, he flipped it needle-up, flicked at it twice or thrice, and squirted excesses soiling his own hand, mimicking nurses. Both fingers on the plunger, he drove it home, charging liquid straight down the arsehole without remorse; a reverse catheter hooked to the wrong tube. The arsehole spasmed as it gulped down the liquid, churning its way down the drain, clogged, and overflowed a bit, oozing brown slime. To the man’s dismay, he hollered and stumped and snatched at the dildo, using it as a plunger to clear the obstruction, muzzle-loading down to the base. In response, the orifice gagged and belched, making sounds that it was not supposed to make, clearly suffering from anal nausea; the sphincter strained and relaxed, muscles heaving and constraining, striving to expel. I watched the man toy with the arsehole, rimming his fingers around the edges to further simulate the reflexes when the same sprites of sphincter strains continued to replay themselves. The arsehole coughed, spittle aflying, then exploded like a geyser, sending warm murky liquids upwards, some painting the ceiling, and slowly, the tall column of bronze dwindled, as colors got overtaken by a coffee brown, thicker like chocolate molasses, geyser subdued to a mud volcano. Wide splashes of brown colored the immaculate bottocks. Unresting, peristalsis persisted, squeezing out a black prismatic cracked in several places and muscles clenched and shoved and inch by inch it grew without snapping and setting free—shitting, upside down, which puzzled me concerning the anatomic accuracies for achieving such a feat.

I started with The Mind Illuminated, but I didn't have much progress for months. The first jhana came suddenly, and I had no idea what happened, I've read a bit about yoga and I thought it was kundalini. I didn't research it for some time until I saw the buddhist chart with the book Right Concentration. I read the first chapter, tried it in my evening meditation and it worked exactly as explained, repeating my previous experience but with greater precision.

Get some good gin and sip it in the forest.

thanks user I started with mind illuminated a few weeks ago as well, seen minor progress in being able to stop distractions and refocus. May enlightenment come to us swiftly and easily

The most important thing that allowed me to enter Access Concentration (the stage before jhana) was making my breath very shallow and light. I said that I didn't have much progress, but I should've added that I was already skilled in eliminating the five hindrances and getting relaxed.

Out of nowhere it feels like I am done with life. Not really a depression but a weird emptiness, like there is no stone left unturned. For so long life seemed like something so far away to be fought for, and now I feel like I've lived it, I've had it, I've internalized it, I'm bored of it. What is left to do?

I am finally being brave about the future and not succumbing to anxiety. My life is in somewhat decent order and I have been able to deal with a lot of my personal issues. At 22 I'm learning that holding too many things with reverence is poor practice. I hooe all of you can learn to msrginslly improve yourself a day at a time. We are a culmination of our actions. Brick by brick fellas.

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>What is left to do?
Stop lying to yourself.

Nothing interests me right now. I have become very bored of people lately, and that kind of undermines the whole thing.

I am self conscious about being possibly autistic, which leads to social anxiety.

If you need other people to be satisfied then you have a very dire existential problem, that is, the absurdity of existence only becomes perceivable when others have ceased being of interest. You must be your own source of interest and value, other people will always disappoint you in your pursuit of lasting sensations. Either fit in with the herd or rise above it.

Your trite advice bores me.

Hey, it's another one of these threads.

Thought about the concept that it's entirely possible that Jesus Christ is a God in the Buddhist theistic sense, which is to say that Gods are beings equally enmeshed in samsara and it's said that they get karmic merit for choosing to help you. Ergo, Jesus Christ would help people who ask him favors for merit in order for him to eventually leave samsara; yet this presumes that Jesus Christ was not, in fact, already a buddha of sorts.

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>two girls reject my advances within two days
>sitting by myself at church a couple days after the latter rejection
>a 30+ something married mother sits next to me
>we've chatted for a bit at some point, but we don't really know each other
>"You're going to make a fine husband for someone", she says right after she has sat down
>"First you need to settle things with God, and then you will find her."
>I don't really know what to say, but she briefly strokes my knee and leaves right after that

There was no way for her to know about the rejections or the thoughts I had been having. I don't know what else there is to settle other than my habit of watching porn.

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>there is no stone left unturned.
You haven't been to Peru, let alone turned over rocks there. Go try to find Paddington Bear's aunt and write a book about it when you do.

she'll take you down with her mate. It's not worth it.

Why the fuck can't I get off of this shithole and look for a job? How do I gather the strength and concentration needed to stop dicking around and do what I actually need to do?

Now that I have finished university, I feel hollow inside. I know that I need to find my full-time officecuck job, but I am too fatigued right now. Underweight, lethargic, and stuck in bed for the majority of my days. I want to rest. I don't even feel like reading. Damn it all.

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i hate the jews

I awokened to the truth of interconnectedness, impermanence, and the truth of no self. Now I’m digging for answers however I can find them. The more I learn the more I seek, sometimes I feel maddened by the sheer amount of information out there.

you cant. zizek is king now. :3 when zizek is king you can eat hotdogs all you want, but when daddy is king again you can go get a job

Heh funny, I had a similar experience without psychedelics but I picked Buddhism over Hinduism for its focus on compassion and lack of self. When I awakened I felt interconnectedness at its extreme, as if I was feeling a connected human consciousness.

I keep wanting to do things, but I don't do them because I think I need to do something else first. But I procrastinate on that, so other things add up but I procrastinate on that too. I'm stuck in a self created cycle of nothing.

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too insecure to post something sincere, fuck you op

Dug a terribly deep hole for myself to climb out of.

I like it. Kinky sex is best sex.

its like eh eeee
why
work now

I'm male, thanks. My credentials are good, I just (ironically) have difficulty with the written portion of the application.

Wagecucking, accomplishing nothing because I'm not in college right now.
Should start programming again but can't bring myself to do it.

I met a girl a month ago and we clicked pretty much instantly. There was a strange situation with her former boyfriend who broke up her half a year ago, but seems like he was still jealous of her talking to me at that party. All was going just superb, at long last I found somebody with whom I felt happy and it all came so naturally with her. Aaaaand 2 days ago she told me she's still in love with the guy who left her, she's still in contact with him and she is not capable of cutting him off because she is still in love with him. I don't blame her in the slightest, but I just feel overwhelming sadness at losing someone like that, not only romantically, but simply because she is such a valuable and interesting person. Life sometimes sucks.

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I'm getting scared about how fast my life is going by. the year just started and it's already may

the dog drink the water lole

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Obligatory

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I'm only tired at a specific time, 6-8 PM. If I don't sleep then, I don't get tired again until about 12 PM. What the fuck is wrong with me.

Jezebel posters are the worst

Is it a coincidence that "The End of the World" uses the Evangelion font

That's because it attenuates the sex drive of many. Fuck or fap, kills the brain.

I hate my job. I'm an office wagie with no real skills and got lucky this company hired me. My only passion on this planet is learning about history and I obviously can't do anything worthwhile with that. I took a computer science degree because I was memed into thinking it would land me a high paying job and that I'd be happy. I'm tired, I'm under a mountain of student loan debt, I'm lonely, and I just want to live in my car and read books. I hate this.

That is incredible that you now have what seems to be consistent access to Jhana. I hope you know that is considered a perfect basis to start insight meditation (vipassana) with. I highly recommend splitting your meditation into a 50/50 of Jhana/Vipassana (probably by doing 2 sits a day, one for each). If you do both, you should progress rapidly through the stages of insight into stream entry:
accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress.html
Also, it is usually said that someone who has gone through the stages of insight with insight meditation becomes even better at Jhana, or rather, Jhana becomes a lot easier than it already was. This would indicate to me that if you were to progress through the insight stages, it might help get you through the second, third, fourth Jhanas and possibly even formless Jhanas.
Overall though, it is incredible to hear that my chart has helped some anons here. May your practice lead you to freedom from suffering.

I was a virgin until a few months ago. After that I slept with 2 other girls who I would've previously thought were very attractive. As soon as I get close to them and I'm not drunk the act is very mundane and kind of gross. Having sex is gross to me and I don't know why. Its fucking nasty. I don't know how far I am away from normal mental health and the thought of it scares me.
I go from being gnostic shaman to rabid nihilism and brain in a vat skepticism depending on my mood and I'm in constant search for meaning. I recreated Nick Lands Numogram but its just a fucking pattern generator that we overlay meaning on, like a retarded scientific method.

I don't know what I want out of life. Before when I was a virgin I thought pussy was part of the equation. Now I know that meaningless sex is meaningless and I just want connection, but connection also kind of grosses me out. Grass is always greener but I never want anything in actuality. Eh.

I'm going to do MDMA. Thats a good time at least.

I wonder today: is korea a C-list 1st world?

Irreversible neurotoxicity awaits.

I can't wait.

MDMA might help but for me it just made me realize how empty sobriety is. I'm not a druggie or a heavy drinker by any means, but after MDMA I started to consciously be aware of every time I was sober. Which, if you include all drug classes, was rare. I drink coffee to get through work all day. I come home and have a drink or two to unwind, or smoke some pot or something. And that's my life - I work, recover from working, and sleep.

Ironically I think back of the times in college I did MDMA with close friends, and it only makes me feel worse. To be able to experience the feeling I felt in just one night, surrounded by my then closest friends (most of which whom, by now, I've lost contact with), I'd do anything. Just to experience those fleeting moments of peace one more time, I'd give up everything.

I don't have a point, I'm just rambling. It's a cycle, there's probably a way to escape it but fuck if I know how.

Mommy

Gib milkies

nah tripfags are worse
frogposters have their moments

Baste and Mommypilled

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didn't know so many of my fellow Yea Forumsizens were wageslaves like myself. how we gonna escape this, boys? do we give up?

slave and fleshpilled

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Stop doing what you hate and try doing something you might enjoy
Learn to take pride in your work
Read the book of five rings and be laborpilled

M O M M Y M I L K Y

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I really don't know man. I just want release.

is that something you've done? i can't imagine taking pride in bitchwork for corporations like i'm doing now. i don't feel passionate about anything, it's like i'm constantly tired. its frustrating.
same here my friend, hope we make it

I worked as a tradesman for about 5 years and while it was hard work I took pride in it. Specifically plastering. There's a real art to it that isn't appreciated.
Right now I'm working a shitty government job because I need income while I study, but I plan on getting into engineering which I think I will enjoy since it involves maths and creativity.
I know how you feel, but you gotta force yourself to get out there and do shit. No use sitting there brooding about it.

Chamber of light is about:

- esoteric wisdom ( astral travel, dream states, dream walking, projection, shared dreams, etc etc )

- self improvement ( physical and mental health )

- financial freedom ( crypto currency )

- being righteous

- tech talk

Trannies and gender neutrals not allowed.

join chamber of light and ascend with us, d1scorrrd : BKJC8ss

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>Learn to take pride in your work
This works honestly
>Stop doing what you hate and try doing something you might enjoy
This doesn't, it's a huge meme. You'll only learn to hate what you once enjoyed

what financial freedom is there to crypto currency exactly?

Skimming On Shooting right now, I am interested. Thanks for the recs.

God this book fucking sucks

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I'm addicted to porn. Almost 14 days without it and I'm ready to kill someone. I'd rather die at this point then open up a video, so here's to another shitty night.

Orwell fucking sucks
Most overrated propagandist of the last century

Yea it does

Stay strong brother you'll make it
Just gotta get past that wall

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Where are {you}?
{I} am here!

>Being defined by childhood and trauma, by the incompetence of adults who failed to guide and care for a developing being, that’s just unacceptable.

You gotta let that shit go, bro. Just forgive them and realise that you have the power to change your own destiny.

I want to kill myself.

>My only passion on this planet is learning about history and I obviously can't do anything worthwhile with that.
I'm the same, but that's not true at all, I literally make money spending my time researching history and putting it into use, never even got a history degree. And no, it has nothing to do with acedemia or tutoring or whatever. Because the 'uses' of history is modern capitalism isn't immediately obvious, you have to seriously get creative to find an outlet, on top of taking a considerable risk in doing so. If you aren't up for it than stick to STEM. I'm not going to tell you exactly what I do because it'll reveal my identity but let's just say it's a fulfillment of my dreams I had as a kid sitting in my room flipping through books of historical illustrations. I get to bring to life the periods I read about all day, however if what I'm doing failed than I would have been considerably set back financially. Pick your poison, take a risk to achieve victory or be content with only survival

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Forgiveness is hard; I don’t hate them, but what happened in the past frustrates me. I’m working to change, despite not believing in myself.

>I want to kill myself.
Please, don’t do it. I was just checking the thread before going to sleep, but feel free to write about what has been troubling you, I’ll read and respond to your reply after waking up. Will also pray for you tonight, hope things get better.

Is there something you're not getting from your gf?

As for meditation I assume you mean eastern meditation? I don't know anything about that but sometimes its nice to go for a slow hike innawoods, or just sit outside in silence for a while.

little girls

damn bro are you me? (minus the coke)

I'm also very unsatisfied with work.

Thanks for the tips and the chart user.
I'm not sure if I'm ready for vipassana, I feel like I may unwittingly pass the point of no return after some insight.

lol yeah I am sure.

Also, do you know how long should I meditate after entering jhana? Should I stay the whole 45 minutes sit even if I entered after 10 minutes?

I feel like an alien who visited another planet and stayed there long enough to realize I couldn't learn that planet's tongue and forgot my own.
What a scam. They shill english in my country just so we consume their media it matters none. All this wasted timebthat could be better spent mastering my own native tongue.

I sometimes enter this mode where I get irritated by every single piece of information that enters my brain, including things I touch, things that happens to me, things I see, things I hear, people, things they say and it makes me want to punch a wall over and over and scream at the top of my lungs

I'm in this mode right now

>Thanks for the tips and the chart user.
>I'm not sure if I'm ready for vipassana
You definitely are. As long as you have access to Jhana, any dukkha nyanas you might go through will be like baby food now that you have access to the bliss button. Also, they will be tremendously less difficult anyways because by entering Jhana, you have automatically purified the mind to a profound degree.
>Also, do you know how long should I meditate after entering jhana? Should I stay the whole 45 minutes sit even if I entered after 10 minutes?
Yes stay the whole 45 minute in Jhana. That is how you learn to really solidify your Jhana practice, and you should be able to progress into the higher ones if you stay in Jhana as well.

Have you ever considered koan practice?

born to die world is a fuck

I interview today for a job that pays 5/hour less than I was making before
there's no escape until suicide day
this world can go to hell

Griffith did only three things wrong

Explain yourself casca, please

koans are cool but they are no replacement for jhana and vipassana
I think they're more of a supplementary practice, like the kasinas, rather than a core practice

I am special. Out of all people only I am alone. God speaks only to me and I am the world

1. Literally whoring himself
2. Losing to Guts
3. He got caught
All of these hapened because he did not have absolute conviction. Griffith did not go far enough

I think he was saying that people who have been married 25 years or longer. You know, 25 plus years

Actually the opposite is what gets me through the day. That none of us are getting out of this alive anyways and everything shall pass even if it outlives me

Would be cool

If you live without regard for your future self you will one day wake up as that future self and cursing your past.

This is most likely the internet’s fault. Just cut it out as best you can

All you’re doing if you talk to her is ruining both relationships. It’s not gonna happen. Just focus on hobbies, fixing your current relationship/finding a new one if you decide to get out, work, bettering yourself.

Yeah probably a good choice to stay away. Don’t let your dick make a decision that could be a horrible mistake

i took of pic of myself and i felt repulsed that i looked like an orc, whenever i look myself in the mirror isn´t that bad but a cellphone picture is the worst

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Its hard to do anything nowadays. I'm looking for some conviction in order to do anything authentically, but there is none to spare. Others with nicer lives have it, others with better family units and well-exercised social networks. How do they have it? How are they so motivated? They don't smoke, they don't drink alone, they don't spend hours on a laptop trying to wring out from themselves something they're not ashamed of. I feel foreign to their green grasses.

I went to a restaurant earlier today - a quick and dingy diner. Table service is the most socially gratifying thing for me now. I ordered bacon and toast and eavesdropped on the cooks conversations. They were about nothing, work drama of some sort or a quick joke and laugh. At my seat I undulate between existing and not existing, occasionally remembered by the staff, reminding me of myself. Do I need coffee? Is the food good? I forget again and am forgotten.

There is nothing to be said about anything, at least in my state of mind. So much talk is going on about everything; the world is always buzzing about this or that event or trend or breakthrough or setback or problem or solution or prediction or panic. I would wash my hands of it if my hygiene were better. Instead, I get caught up in it all yet gain nothing. I see the headlines and hear the opinions, but nothing grips me. This is what is meant by blasse, I think. A war would jolt me awake if it came with a draft. I'm in need of a defibrillator.

your sexuality

>they were about nothing, work drama of some sort or a quick joke and laugh.

the best kind of conversations

I can't find a free epub of Kerouac's "Desolation Angels".

That's it, that's my only problem right now and scrolling this thread makes me feel like I should shut up about it and swallow it down like a man.

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What the hell. I found the book on a website called "torrent downloads", I opened like 10 different but similar sites and figured (but didn't really expect) that it will show up in one of the search results.

Never give up guys.

Have you tried uppers?

on my to do list for today i wrote "rejuvenate the self"
that and everything else i wrote down did not happen today
i am agony

Try mescaline dude. It’s holy

I've been thinking compulsively about right wing extremism. It's a notable data point that opposing extremisms often mirror each other. The rhetoric of Atomwaffen Division, a far right militant group, would be indistinguishable from the rhetoric of ISIS if you simply replaced a few nouns.

It's also interesting how right wing extremism has a cultlike structure. The belief system is constructed and fortified to be resistant to any questioning or debate. Anyone who doubts its premises is a "shill", in other words one of the enemies. This is classic cultic milieu control. The information environment allows for only one viewpoint or else you are an outcast, or even subhuman.

This kind of argumentative intimidation is what allows patently absurd premises (such as Jews being responsible for everything bad) to become highlighted and elevated in the far right discussions. The second you point out facts that contradict the theory, you are accused of being a shill or of having fallen for Jewish tricks. If you try to pick apart all the contradictions and inconsistencies, you are immediately vilified and ignored. Anyone who has studied cults notes these features.

The possession of absolute incorrigible truth entitles you to any means to enact it, including violence. But of course nobody has this absolute truth and so anyone claiming it has to engage in brutality to suppress doubt.

These views are getting people killed. Surely they connected to other problems and societal malignancies in ways that might not seem immediately obvious.

They really need to find a cure for autism

>right wing extremism.
I more or less am one of these just because I think it makes more sense. It's not a cult, and I have pretty much zero expectation of a right wing coup happening.

You forgot "Your Majesty"

>muh horseshoe
Kys phamelam
You've never read anything by the "right wing extremists" you're so obsessed with. Start with Evola and you'll see why you're utterly retarded.
You WISH they were like that, that they could all be as easily dismissed as that lunatic monster who shot up the mosque, but they aren't. Some day you'll have to come to terms with the fact that the history of western thought is dominated by the "right wing" as we call it now.
>the belief system is constructed and fortified to be resistsnt to any questioning or debate
I could easily make the very same argument about, not only leftist extremists, but all leftists in general, but I wouldn't because its not an argument, its a broad generalization that a coward would tell himself to make himself feel more sure of his own ideology.
>argumentative intimidation
Who are you arguing with lmao?
If you're going to /pol/ to argue with those retards about the holocaust or something then I'm sorry to tell you that you wont have any luck. If you think that /pol/ is an accurate representation of the "far-right" then you're very misguided. Its not a cult, its a group of angsty teens that need an outlet for bitterness and anger, you can easily see the same thing on any left-leaning forum like resetera or /leftypol/, just expressed in a different way. The same intolerable and hateful attitude is present.
You cant just neatly dismiss a whole group of people as a "cult" on the basis that some of them are retards.

I enjoy the time when i am alone but i also feel really shitty when i am by my self because i get the impression i am not an original person and then i think about where every of my traits and interests come from, i often times dont feel like a real person (thats one of the reasons i am a determinist). Everytime i hang out with friends i forget all of it but for some reason i dont want it seems like the easy way and not meaningfull.
Also i want to start reading camus where can i start? I am thinking of beginning with "the myth of sisyphus"

I haven't been in Uni for a month now, I am in a major I don't want and I failed some courses last year, so if I can't change my major I am royally fucked because I live with my parents and they don't know about this, hope they don't throw me out because I never had a job.

I wish that envy wouldn't be my main sin. I wish I wouldn't be so resentful. I wish I was dead.

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You will have to cut your umbilical cord eventually. Don't be a pussy and get a life of your own

I don't exist there's no proof of my existence.

for the last week i've felt like doing absolutely nothing in the truest sense for the first time in my life. all i do is sit around. nothing that used to excite or entertain me excites or entertains me anymore, not even the few hobbies i have

e-hentai.org/g/661895/394adee1be/

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xanax is the only thing that brings me solace and peace nowadays

iktf brother

same desu

what’s on your mind

I fucked my friend's ex last night, like the weak willed sham of a man I am.
I knew the consequences, 5 years of cultivated friendship down the drain, only for me to have my hands on some vapid lilith's ass cheeks and fulfill my animaliatic urges for one night.
And the worst part is, I was just a tool for this woman to get back at my friend. I even recognized it from the very beginning.
And I had multiple opportunities to refuse her attempts.
Yet I didn't and here I am, filled with shame and disgust at my own being.
And to see my friend not angry, no, but pitying my state. Even that is not a punishment enough for me.
If he had punched me in the gut, cut ties with me for my egoistic actions, I would've gotten past my fragile ego.
Yet what I have in front of me is a man pitying me for my lack of self-control.
Truly a worthy punishment. And yet it's not, it doesn't stroke my ego, but his.

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You're a faggot you deserve worse

>im male thanks
you know PA's can prescribe & diagnose?

I encourage anons with their women troubles and say they are worthy and that rejection is a part of life. Meanwhile I see myself as wortless, and don't even know how to flirt. What a fraud am I.

In other news: Is meditation done improperly meaningless? A girl I know was telling me about how she practices it for 40 minutes each day and has been doing so by God knows how long, but she's one of the most self-absorbed people I've ever met.

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I can't believe I'm posting in one of these threads but I'm having a fucking breakdown.
>currently accepted to study abroad in the fall in europe at one of the best unis in the world
>just fell in love with a girl back home
>i know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her
>im too afraid of going abroad and not seeing her for 3 months, becoming cripplingly lonely, etc.
>wracked with anxiety when I think about this whole thing
>i dont know what the fuck to do

please help me lit im so afraid

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quite literally a shill post

>i know i'm going to spend the rest of my life with her
First question: How old are you?

Skype her, you massive faggot. If you're meant to be together for the rest of your life, three months is fucking nothing.

what the fuck do you dudes get out of xanax? i've taken a tab twice and all it's done is put me to sleep

22. been in quite a few substantial relationships before to know what I want, and its her. never felt this way about anyone. my friends who have all gotten married/are getting married say that sometimes you just know.

thats the thing, even though we can talk and things while im gone, when I'm back she's still 9.5 hours away from me by car.

I had a dream where I was an insurance salesman that was turned in to a fox. Then i began selling insurance to foxes.

thats baller

>22
You're fucking mad. You're only just barely an adult you know nothing about love. Take it from a guy 10 years older that has experienced many relationships.
I've lost track of how many times I've told myself "This is the one".
Guys at the age of 22 dont know shit about relationships, no matter how much you think you do. Dont put your future life in jeopardy chasing some girl. If she's really the one then she isnt going anywhere in 3 months, or a year, or ever. If she's not the one (which unless you're that 1% lucky man she wont be) then at least you wont be kicking yourself for wasting your youth for a girl.
>9.5 hours away
Breh..

Nice, write it down.

Where do I meet girls after graduating college? Is the motherfucking bar the only place?

>figure out qt librarian’s name
>look her up goodreads and see what books she likes
>check out that book
it’s that simple

No. I have very addictive tendencies...have had almost every vice there is. I think I can do without.

>meeting girls at a bar
You'll never find anything of value there bro
Get on a dating site (not tinder) and go to places like the library, church, coffee shops, so on. Unfortunately i find if you look to hard it'll never happen, need to just set up the circumstances for it to happen on its own.

Join a sports club with a girls team and get a /fitlit/ tomboy gf

>Is meditation done improperly meaningless? A girl I know was telling me about how she practices it for 40 minutes each day and has been doing so by God knows how long, but she's one of the most self-absorbed people I've ever met.
I suppose you meant "fruitless" or "all for nothing" rather than meaningful. If you're asking for the meaning of meditation, I don't know what to say. As for its fruits, yea, it's pretty useless if done wrong (beyond basic McMindfulness relaxation and focus benefits).
Try this:

A bit cynical, but appreciate it nonetheless. I suppose thats what I get for coming to this God forsaken place.

>I suppose you meant "fruitless" or "all for nothing"
Yes, that's what I meant.

I had seen this chart earlier today, and talking with her served to encourage me to learn meditation properly, through good resources, instead of just dicking around by myself. Maybe the events of today are a sign. Anyway, thanks, user.

Not trying to put you down or anything bro.
Just telling you because I've experienced it before.
Its a lot easier said than done. Just really think things through before you do anything drastic.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a reincarnated peasant boy who, while tilling the fields, looked up at the stars and could only wonder, wonder. And as a reward for my lifetimes of lightless toil I was reborn in this future, one in which all of human knowledge can be accessed in an instance, one in which I have a luxurious amount of time to consume it, and enough drive to make something (hopefully) out of that concrete sum.

It’s still crazy to me. I still feel like I am surrounded by magic. If I were to be reborn as a robot of the galactic age, interacting in alpha-centauri, it would be no different. It is the question one must remind themselves of every day: “why am I here?”

Peterson is that you?

One time upon the abyssmal mind there lay smithereens of distaste fueled by prospective brainage, congregating to form numb lumps of dumb thought spunk, enough to stick together into constipation and taint its chasm.

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The difference between a paleoconservative and an effective Marxist is much smaller than is currently believed

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I feel like asking Yea Forums to explain the difference between an Archetype and a Stereotype.

I thought this was pretty, user

she will fuck Chad for sure. just drop her

i have a prescription because i used to have frequent anxiety attacks and now the feeling of my stomach churning is the norm for me, so i take a couple milligrams when i really need to to feel "normal"

>Finally meet up with this girl after she invited me over
>Had some tension before
>Tonight it's full blown
>Immediately start cuddling
>Talking and kissing lightly
>She moves onto her back and gestures me over to her
>Go start making out
>Ripping off her clothes
>Destroy her pussy
>Wake up
Happened this morning, I couldn't move a muscle for like 15 minutes I was disheartened

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Chad is fucking her right now. It’s already too late.

Chad is a Nietzschean ‘Minotaur of conscience’. He becomes an issue the second your neural synapses are focused on him. As I perceive the worry of him fucking a girl, chances are that gives him enough negative energy to simply do just that.

Books for this feel?

I had this friend of mine, we were friends since highschool, I could say that at some point we were best friends, once highschol was over we took different paths, I started studying law and he started studying physics, I have never been good with math, recently he started to say his career was best, I really didn't care too much about it until he said I was a subhuman for being bad at math and that he was some kind of ubermensch for studying physics and studying about "abstract math concepts" or some shit like that, I told him to fuck off, and truth is I felt that at some point he was right, that I was not capable of doing anything right, i'm doing well in law but I feel like utter shit, I tried to talk to him and he says i'm salty as always, even though we didn't even had a problem like this before, so I decided I should stop seeing him, I don't know what the hell should I do, maybe he's right and i'm just being salty but i'm so fucking tired of this shit

please tell me this is fake

this type of shit happens to me all the time and i wake up wanting to end it

noted

why is this a bad thing

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damn, gl bro

jesus christ

ummm nothing

this. i also want to just fuck

Yawn
Are you even married?

I honestly stopped caring about having sex with my gf, I guess im just not attracted anymore? Feels bad man

conscious thoughts are instincts that haven't solidified yet. trust your instincts.

God is not Dead
Things that feign death, have a pseudo death, which have a death in the simulacra but not in actuality prove to multiply in power. The death of a thing within a mental model releases all of its eidetic power at once and multiples it by itself considerably.

We can see this in multiple cases.

those who love art say art is dead or has been dissolved by the moderns. We see people saying this or that political movement is dead, that this or that idea is dead and this very proclamation of death reinvigorates all who are susceptible and causes them to sublimate the essences of the “dead” aspect and thus live as if the thing was in a much fuller power.
We see this most principally in the idea of God chiefly the western conception of God.
Nietzsche famously said God is dead, that the idea of God is removed so we must ourselves become a God-man. Little did he know he was himself an actor reinvigorating the western conceptions of deity. For from Nietzsche and from all who thought that the idea of God was slain so we must replace it. (Either through self perfection through the western and largely abrahamic lens or through humanism and other such behavior which is nothing but the abrahamic ethic system removed of deity and made a very core aspect of one’s view of reality, consider even the Neo-Puritan culture of the modern men and women who are by all standards parroting eidetic essences of the fundamentalist abrahamic religion with some aesthetic inversions to further compliment it. ) men are living as if the western conception of deity existed in the west, and are living with it with renewed vigor and resolve. They see disobedience no longer as some far off spiritual “sin” but rather as pure embodied badness and evil when they act against the idea.
The modern man, left wing, centrist and right wing is by majority utterly dominated by the western conception of deity and by the rules and ethics and moral model of this same deity. Even some of the most decadent sybarite youth still consider if they’re “wrong” “bad” “evil” and so on. By the acceptance of a “death” of God, god has simply become all the more powerful in the public space, evolving and flipping its nature whenever it suits it.

i used to be the same as you. from experience, as much as i love psychedelics, all it is is being in a different state of mind. you can "trip" by meditating. you can "trip" from lack of sleep, or fatigue, or hunger, whatever. the "trip" is really just the state of mind that you have. if you're stuck on the thought of "i have to be under the influence of psychedelics to enjoy life" then of course that's going to become your obsession. same as a fatass that thinks "i have to have my mcdonalds or i won't be happy today." psychs are a powerful tool or even just way of fun and escapism that are nothing more than that. if you really want to feel that way every day then microdose for a month or so. it becomes medicine that augments your day and helps you to learn how to carry on with your life as normal, developing a new perspective, rather than a recreational drug that you crave

if you’re only doing it a couple hours a few days a week then you aren’t going to get fucking anywhere. You don’t have the desire. You know nothing about creating desire. you’re probably being a writer to subconsciously impress someone

God is dead.
Long live God

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That sucks. I did it in real life twice this week. One day for 10 hours.

>a couple hours a few days a week
That's what I do right now, holding a full-time job with arbitrary hours (it's all on-call, total of 90-100hrs away from home per week). Once I'm off work, writing will be my primary endeavour.

dingdong /spoiler/ we already are /spoiler/

Have to go to a weekly bible study while I'm still living at home. The people there are very enthusiastic but have almost no sense of historical context for their beliefs, no knowledge of church history, or even how the contents of the Bible were composed. Not to mention no real understanding of different sects or religions. Oh, well.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, they are probably much happier and mentally healthy for being so ignorant. They mostly live happy, simple lives. My loss, I guess

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The other two anons gave valid reasons why not to fuck that 18yr old but if I were you I'd go for it but go in with no strings attached. Meaning, don't fill in the role as the provider for her kid if gets serious that is. If you're not ready for that kind of task you'll just be shooting yourself in the foot. Remember, you only have a few chances if not one to fuck some young pussy. Good luck.

Imagine having a 1000 pound rock on your shoulders you never knew existed, and having it completely removed

For more neurotypical people it'll just knock you out or make you feel sort of "drunk" but for people like me it's godsend, it was the first time I experienced "normal" since racing thoughts and generalized anxiety/paranoia are just an every day thing for me