Character drinks coffee

>character drinks coffee
>doesn't diarrhea immediately afterwards
Why are movies so unrealistic.

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>bowel movements when drinking coffee is associated with low testosterone production, vitamin D deficiency and chronic masturbation addiction
You okay OP?

Get checked

what? for real?

WTF? This can't be real.
But my mom drinks her coffee strong with no problem

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which helps terrifically if you have frequent constipation problems. there's nothing more satisfying than taking a big fat dump first thing instead of feeling bloated and farty

You should buy better coffee

Really? I ate a tv dinner today and immediately had to take a shit and was like wtf? Interesting.

Whats that? Stimulants do what? They STIMULATE the body? So you're telling me that I'm gonna be moving, pumping blood, and shitting on turbo mode??? WHAAAAAAAA????

What does it mean if you shit yourself every time you cum but only when you masturbate to tranny porn?

Haha sounds like OP indeed

Fuck you, I'm on a 4 months nofap streak.

shut up shut up SHUT UP

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Fucking based
Thanks for the laugh

"Would you like some coffee?"
"At 7PM at night, i'll be awake until tuesday!"
Why do they do this? its unrealistic

My ass bleeds for 3 days straight after i drink a cup of black coffee with no sugar (i used to do this to avoid hunger, but now my stomach hates it and i have to drink tea like a fag)

That sounds made up but I can't say for sure

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Are there people who really can’t have a cup of coffee without crapping?

americans

Basedsboys

>tfw haven't shat since last Thursday
I'm getting worried bros, usually I shit every 3 days but it's coming up on a week now

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OP, do you drink your coffee with milk/cream? If so, you may have lactose intolerance

> usually I shit every 3 days
WTF, whats your diet like?

>have 7 coffees
>it doesn't do anything
I think my caffeine receptors are fucked.

Lay off the heroin.

If you got nicotine in your system, you’re a lot more resilient to caffeine.

a cup or two yes but four gets the ribul flying

>character drinks diarrhea
>doesn't shit coffee immediately afterwards

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I used to be a smoker.

dilate, unironically

user, you should visit a doctor, today

American metabolism, folks.

That is actually exactly why I drink coffee. Loosens up my stool real nice when I get constipated. So I'll go to the store, by a whole container of coffee ice cream, and get comfy.

Post-coffee poop should be satisfying. If you're getting sloppy joes its because you eat like shit.

Taking a nice big shit after your morning cup of coffee should be part of everyone's daily routine
>wake up
>coffee
>huge dump
>shower

>not enjoying your morning coffee enema

Go see a doctor, and in the future eat more high fiber foods.
Also grapes and apples are the easiest path to the shit.

>Couples start passionate kissing after waking up without toothbrushing.
>Girl has make up, wtf?
>Messy morning hair is fake at, probably was a 2 hour brushing job

>that big morning after coffee dump dump

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>characters drink coffee
>don’t hydrate & chew gum or use breath mints afterwards

Takes me right out

Doesn't surprise me, all frogposters are failures.