POTTEEEEEER!

>Dear students, as you know we have cured the basilisk effect on our students
>HOWEVER
>we have decided to keep the sentient, stiff Miss Granger for... recreational purposes.
>The house winning the house pocal gets her for the next year.
>And that is of course Slytherin!
>Just kidding its Gryffindor
>*Students erupt into applause and orgies as Hermione is passed around the table*
>*Slytherin students do a collective suicide*

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not because of you Dumbledore you bluddy bottom bandit

Is Dumblydor actually gay in the books or was that some shit JK made up later?

Fetus Deletus!

She made it up. His sexuality was never discussed.

>Headmaster, can we get a switch for actually attractive girl, winning has no meaning when you get "this".

Voldemort was after my penis and Hermione had a good place to hide it..

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>as second place prize slytherin gets their own cuckshed and chastity cage for every student

he was obviously gay in the movies. Didn't you notice that the wand he used always had a giant turd on the end of it?

He's never anything more than a kindly, mysterious old man in the books. But then Rowling started telling everyone he was the big gay on campus 5 years after they finished. Also that Hermione was meant to be black and McGonagall being lesbian despite there being indications to both being the opposite in the books.

>Every Slytherin gets force injected with polyjuice potion with female hairs and get send to Hagrid for "reeducation"

This is awful

how her and george lucas just turned around and collectively shit on their creations makes me wonder if they're both hacks that just got lucky their bearable stuff appealed to anyone