Any book about why people have these deeply sickening disturbed perverted thoughts ?

What do you mean ?
Are you implying I'm a homosexual in denyal ?
I thought about ot seriously but I can't bring myself to like other men.

The Black Cat by Edgar Allan Poe. He discusses the idea there, I think he called it "The Imp of the Perverse". Basically, fucked up ideas come to everyone's mind now and then, but they are quickly forgotten. Invasive thoughts are a common thing, and the more you fight them the worse they get, as trying not to think of something leads to thinking about it.
Try not to be too bothered by them and they'll go away without you noticing.

I see, thank you

every self-aware man probably has weird and terrible thougts he didn't intend to have. i think it's a byproduct of processing the world around you - not tallking about muh modern media bad", as some of the most depraved people come from rural, unaccessible places.
Sartre illustrates it perfectly

A very interesting question I have is simply whether a person "chooses" to like what they like. To be into what they are. To hold the fetishes and fixations they do.

I'd personally like to believe that I don't hold many perverted complexes, but regardless, I'm curious as to whether I am that way by nature or by choice, or whether my nature is my choice? And the same for others. If a person has no control over liking what they do, then reality is quite a miserable thing.

What do you guys think? To what extent are we in control of what we are? Can a depraved person transform into a wholesome one, and vice versa, simply through wanting to?

This makes me more serene.
I'm not very depraved at all when I'm fully conscious .
I don't have any weird fetish and I'm trying to limit my porn consumption
Weirdly I have more disturbing dreams when I'm off porn.

That's what I like to believe too.
I wouldn't want to believe we have no choice but I'm afraid external matters have too much influence on us.

maybe writing it down may help you. Surely it did for me when a friend of mine became psychotic. Its really painful but can bring accelerating release.

>Weirdly I have more disturbing dreams when I'm off porn.
same, yet i am not able to go without porn despite to i hate it.

I'm not sure what I would make of it.
Maybe it would help me explain the meaning of the dreams if I connect them with events that happened before I had them.
If I could I'd like to forget them altogether.
I suspect they are a consequence of a stressful lifestyle and anxiety.
Perhaps I need to improve by exercising and staying more around people.

Thanks for the advice

They're called intrusive thoughts. Everyone has them to some extent, but obviously some people have them a lot worse. I deal with them by thinking "Ok, this thought has appeared,nI didn't consciously want it to appear, it just happened. I can choose not to engage with it and accept that it's just a fluctuation of the mind." I find that simply acknowledging those thoughts neutrally works a lot better than trying to fight them. If you work at it, you'll stop identifying them as part of yourself and be able to dismiss them as stupid thoughts that appear and can be ignored (but that takes work).

You keep having these thoughts because when they come, you entertain them. It's a habit and it needs to broken like any other. Live as if people can infallibly read your mind and stop thinking things you don't want them to know.