Ladies, Gentlemen…and Joker.
I’ve gathered you here today to discuss what we should do about Batman.
More recently him, Chief O’Hara, Question and even fucking Spider-Man have thwarted my p-OUR PLANS.
Riddle me this!
>What should we do?
Ladies, Gentlemen…and Joker
William Fisher
Andrew Stewart
I have an idea.
We rape the batman
Elijah Taylor
We need to break the bat. Not his body, but his mind. We need to rape Batman.
Ryan Sanders
According to our schematics he’s “unrapable”. He can squat over 6 plates, his ass cheeks could crush any dick. The suit also has some sort of device within the ass.
Any other ideas?
Christian Walker
Bane, clearly you aren’t the right guy for making…plans.
Your biggest thing is always “Break everyone out of Arkham to make him tired, then beat him up”.
First off, that plan is fucking overkill, just get a few assassins to tire him out.
Second, this shit backfired because some crazy cult member in a armored Batsuit beat the shit out of you.
Ryder Thompson
>What should we do?
Riddler, you're schemes even such a short one can lead to a long lust of leverage for the looters of crime. I've decoded you're message, but to do so, I must extend the phrase.
>What
It begs the question of determining a selection of something. Now clearly there is a vast selection of knowledge, that may be infinite but it's not. For you ask, Riddler, of what is there to determine? And determining means to seek a target.
And what seeks a target just recently? The newest invention made by Doctor Javel Huss. Who's determining a new determination A.I. computer for his device. A good device for the advancement of man kind but a tyrant tremor for likes of you.
>Should
Clearly motivation, using the word. So what's the motivation of an action, clearly, it must be a motive that suits you. But also, with the What clue. I think the only logical conclusion is....Of course. Should can substituted for motive, and motive can be another word for reason. And what's the reason in Gotham? Why famous philosopher Jan Pol is discussing his works at the Gotham University.
>We
Ah riddle, it's we. In correlation to the What and Should, the we is the target of the class by Jan Pol. Mainly due to the fact that Jan Pol's discussion refers to the ideas of Man can only be built with the help of others.
>Do?
Obviously, there's something missing there...Do and the question mark. It means....a blank to be filled. But what is it? What can you gain but fits the word? It's obvious, A deed. Do the Deed. Jan Pol is the heir to a billion dollar property, and using the A.I. you intended make it seem like the next heir to the wealth, the only logical determination, is you. The heir to all that wealth is now determined to be yours.
I already informed the GCPD about this, nice try but Justice always prevails.
Levi Ross
Throw a rock at him!
Luke Mitchell
DAMNIT, HE’S HERE!
FUCK IT, THROW IT!
Oliver Martinez
Don't get your panties in a bunch and leave it to me. The very first thing we need to do is divorce him of his assets. Wayne used to bankroll Guano Guy back during the Batman Inc. days, and i wager he still does. So, we bankrupt Wayne. I've got a fed contact who can order all of Wayne industries assets to be frozen and all property to be seized.
After that we deal with the gaggle of violent tights wearing delinquents from his cult of personality. Profile them. Find the crimes they respond to the quickest. Organize them to occur at the same time, so they have no choice but to split up. Capture, but don't kill. We don't need to give the League reason to go berserk.
Bane, you know him the most... Intimately. Any suggestions on how to flush him out once the chaff is taken care of?
Connor Taylor
Heh, even if Waylon doesn’t make quick work of you, it’s not like you’ll solve my latest Riddle and save Detective Bullock!
RIDDLE ME THIS
>It stomps, it Trollops, fucks and sucks, it only stands on 2 legs and bellows not words but numbers. What is it?
Adam Fisher
This is the GCPD, we got the place surrounded. Come out with your hands up!
Caleb Morgan
Oh that's clever. Glad he called us here for you to suggest that full proof plan.
James Green
Slade, I’ll pay you to get rid of the cops outside
YOU MISINFORMED MISCREANT, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE MESSING WITH!
Joker, I WAS PANICKING, BATMAN’S GREY AND BLUE ASS IS RIGHT THERE. If you got some acid flowers on you, I’d be more than happy to let you distract him.
Gabriel Moore
Cute. When it's not Grayson it's Rapeman Gordon's fuzz brigade.
Let's dance.
Blake King
>Slade, I’ll pay you to get rid of the cops outside
Consider this a favor, Noah. You did represent me in the court of, ugh, "Evil". Payment for services rendered, and all that.
Liam Jackson
Allow me, caped crusader, this police commissioner is cunning enough for this criminal craven.
>It stomps, It trollops
Stomp and Trollop, of course. It refers to the act of relationships, and obviously heart break. You must know Riddler, that many of Gotham's celebrities are familiar with this. Many fine Gothamites are very familiar with the act of trollops and stomping their hearts. And now the question is, which Gothamite celebrity are you referring to?
>Fucks and Sucks
Ah, the vixens of Gotham's celebrities, that narrows it a select few group. Mostly, the ones with past trollops and even present. Specifically Marie Muse, the vixen of Gotham.
>Stands on 2 legs and bellows
Ah, of course. This refers 2 Leg Larry, and Bellowing Barry. The two men whom Marie Muse had trollops and enticed.
>Numbers
Obviously money, but can refer to police badge number.
I get your riddle now, you have a new accomplice in crime. Marie Muse, whom you plan to entice the GCPD into letting crime run rampant. But I assure, she's already in prison for that.
We already know you're plot in getting the Deed from Jan Pol with the help of the Vixen Marie Muse.
Hands up, you pedophile! Yes, I know your crimes of sexually handling minors. Lay down your arms, and face justice for the injustice you did.
Nathaniel Cruz
Oh shit, it’s Gordon, JOKER RUN!
Also, HOW ARE YOU CAPABLE OF SOLVING MY CONFOUNDING CONUNDRUMS?!
Julian Stewart
> Marie Muse, whom you plan to entice the GCPD into letting crime run rampant. But I assure, she's already in prison for that.
Marie Muse isn't in prison you lying pig. She was picked up recently for organising prostitution in the various massage parlors she owns. Someone paid her bail, and it was her sugar daddy, not us.
>We already know you're plot in getting the Deed from Jan Pol with the help of the Vixen Marie Muse.
If we wanted the deed there were any number of ways we could have gotten it more easily. No. Our motivations are... Something else.
>Hands up, you pedophile! Yes, I know your crimes of sexually handling minors. Lay down your arms, and face justice for the injustice you did.
You don't understand officer. I was in a dark place. Been through a, uh, rough divorce, let's call it. Seen my oldest die in my hands, and his killers walk free. She was unstable, and by the time i knew what she wanted, i had no choice. I had to comply, there was no chance to escape considering her powers. In my defense, she was only a means to an end. I would never hurt a child. She acted like anything but...
Nathan Collins
Sorry, traffic was murder, did something happen?
Julian Gomez
STOP PANICKING YOU PSYCHOTIC SPAZZ MONKEY YOU'RE LETTING HIM IN ON OUR PLANS!
When someone figures out your stupid riddle, you DON'T let them know that.
Josiah Rogers
Because Justice may be blind she knows the truth, you criminal crazy. The chief is smarter than he looks.
That's a lie! You're going to jail for beating up teenagers in spandex.
Get down you criminal, you're all under arrest.
Easton Green
Get the fuck out you fake
Logan Nguyen
Nothing much. I was just about to take care of some business for Riddler.
Daniel King
Why do we even bother showing up in person when shit like this happens constantly? We have disposable phones, don’t we?
Mason Butler
>That's a lie! You're going to jail for beating up teenagers in spandex.
And you should be going to jail for possession of illegal weapons, assault with a deadly weapon, vigilantism, and God knows what else, you twerp. And don't get me started on your dad and his cavalcade of child soldiers.
Benjamin Butler
I think that we should crucify the Batman and drain his blood into a nice pot. The cut off his and Robin’s hands
Hands always taste best when marinated in blood
Isaiah Butler
Honestly? I thought Riddler just wanted a cup o' Joe, and maybe play a few hands of poker. Up until your other crush, Gordon, showed, i was convinced we were just talking shop.
Smooth, Riddler. Smooth.
Nathaniel Smith
Fake or not, you're both criminals. Surrender now, violence needs not be an option.
Crime can never hide from the gaze from my watchful eyes.
You forget, I and Robin are fully deputized servants of law. Everything we have is legal. And as for child soldiers? A lie.
But you, you're going to jail for your crimes. A child abuser.
Colton Richardson
Peace has cost you your strength, victory has defeated you.
Aaron Robinson
>Meanwhile, on the glass rooftop, Gambit is crouching an opening the window hatch. He takes out a card, charges it and begins aiming at the Riddler's neck.
Here we go... One shot, and then Batman and the GCPD will take care of the rest.
Adrian Wright
Couldn’t have said it better myself. You showed them Batman
Charles Peterson
>You forget, I and Robin are fully deputized servants of law. Everything we have is legal. And as for child soldiers? A lie.
But you, you're going to jail for your crimes. A child abuser.
The state of New Jersey allowed the GCPD to legally deputize a teenager, of whom they know nothing about, and let him fight violent psychopaths without adult supervision? I don't count you as an adult, you enabling sonnuvabitch. I don't know which senators you and Wayne have in your pockets, but i assure you, i will find out. To me, this smells like institutionalized child abuse.
Riddler, there's a pot of unwashed, half cooked, swamp gumbo aiming... cards, at you. Well, whatever. Let me take care of that.
Ryan Powell
Stand aside Nigma. The rest of you ne'er-do-wells could never hold a candle to the Kingpin! Allow me to take on Gotham's finest. I found this talking hat that can also transform into a sword. With him I'll make Gotham my own!
Samuel Lewis
…I think I'm in the wrong place
Jaxson Diaz
Commissioner has finally done it. He crossed that line.
Bentley Turner
I don’t care who’s fake, let’s let Slade take care of the cops and distract Batman, I’ll Venmo him later
IT’S CALLED BEING FAIR, CRIME IS A GAME!
Could’ve fooled me, Boy Blunder.
I-…forgot mine.
Christ, I said I wanted to do something not…that.
OH FUCK OH SHIT, UHHH
>throws a bowl of gumbo at Gambit from the snacks table prepared by the villains
Fisk, we need your capit-I MEAN YOUR MIND. We already got Slade on it.
YOU ALONE COULD KILL THESE FOOLS, JUST USE YOUR OMEGA BEAMS…please, uh…Lord Darkseid?
Elijah Mitchell
By the golden gods of Galador, the Wraith stink is strong in this hole...
Levi Rivera
>IT’S CALLED BEING FAIR, CRIME IS A GAME!
Why, on God's green earth, would you ever play fair with Batman and Gordon? You saw what he just did to Joker, imagine what he'll do to you if he gets you behind bars.
>I don’t care who’s fake, let’s let Slade take care of the cops and distract Batman,
>We already got Slade on it.
Yes, let's get Slade to do all the work, while we twirl our moustaches from the background. It's because of shit like this that i left the society. That, and that greasy, bald cunt Luthor somehow being so incompetent as to piss of Vandal, and fuck up recruiting Catman of all people. It's always shit like this.
Joseph Wright
SLADE, I AM PAYING YOU!
I’ll venmo you the million even if you lose and go to jail here!
If ya want help, fine but you’ll have to split it with whomever decides to throw down with Batman and Robin.
Noah Collins
Mr. Slade. Billionaire Bruce Wayne. I don't find your presence here in Gotham here good, so here's a deal. I'll pay whatever Riddler's paying but times 10. If you promise to leave Gotham and never return. This is a Gothamite matter, and it's only fair that non-Gothamites shouldn't be in this affair.
Jonathan Mitchell
>Gambit avoids Slade's attack, but the still-hot gumbo splashes on his face, burning him
aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA MERDE
>Still in excruciating pain, Gambit starts throwing cards everywhere, incapacitating various people, including The Riddler himself
BATMAN! AU SECOURS! A MOI!
Robert Russell
>GOO GOO GA GA
Josiah King
>SLADE, I AM PAYING YOU!
Calm down, it's not about the money. I've got this handled. I already said this one's a favor i owe you. When i'm done, we'll talk about the whole business partnership thing, and straighten things out. Now, Bruce Wayne somehow hacked my commlink, gotta vamoose out back while the cops are reloading...
Hello, Mr Wayne? Do you have any idea how much you sound like a mob boss right now? You do realize Sionis made me that exact offer when i arrived here, right? I wouldn't be surprised if you were corrupt up to your ears. How else would our mutual friend afford his toys? Here's the deal. Call of Soapdrop Gordon and his Blue Scabs, and me and Riddler leave. The price is pressuring your political contacts into passing an anti juvenile vigilante bill. And making sure they succeed. What say?
William Brown
Goddammit, he's a fucking magic user, and he's spouting gibberish. Never a good sign.
Alright, Riddler. That leg doesn't look good. I'll give you some anesthetic, for the pain. I'll see if i can give him the Zatanna liver special, in the meantime, you think on Wayne's offer. I'm good either way.
Luke Adams
Good news I got Bane and Croc to safety
Better news is their checks didn't bounce so I can start my tropical vacation with this hot little red head I meet
See you all in two weeks
Andrew Hughes
Hold it right here, you Introvert Insect. You're going behind bars.
Ayden Ramirez
Step aside, Bruce, I'll handle this. Roman Falcone. You never show your face in my city ever again, and I'll make sure the bill passes.
Xavier Harris
Too slow Batty, am already gone
Ryan Adams
>Better news is their checks didn't bounce so I can start my tropical vacation with this hot little red head I meet
Some advice friend, one man to another. Get yourself a vasectomy and make sure she knows about it. Don't ask me why. Just... Save yourself some heartache. Women can be crazy.
Elijah Robinson
Hmmm. Mr. Falcone. Well. You ARE known to be a man of your word, old school. Before i accept, i must first consult my associate, the Riddler, on his wishes. I will only be a moment.
How do you want to play this?
Ian Hill
(\_/)
(._.)
/>[What’s up?]
Elijah Lopez
Hmmm….
To tell you the truth, this could give us an advantage. If Robin is gone, Batman has less protection. And even if Batman still fights crime with Robin, he’ll be labeled an outlaw…
Let’s do it.
Caleb Flores
Mr. Falcone, we humbly accept your generous offer. I know your word is worth it's weight in gold, and you'll soon find mine is just as good. Now, kindly, call of the PD so we can leave.
Alexander Perez
achoo!
Samuel Collins
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Charles Moore
NAPOLEON! PROMTHEUS!! Time to show this city the wrath of the Kingpin!
Eli Sullivan
Yes, now this city shall be ours
Oh my god, why would you even say that?
Lincoln Ward
NO YOU FAT FUCK PUT THAT SHIT DOWN YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING WE FUCKING HAD THIS
Caleb Cook
What do you m-OH SHIT!
WHAT THE FUCK IS FISK DOING?!
Julian Scott
Maybe I'll order me some monstahs from N.M.E., dat oughta clip dat flyin' rats wings!
Henry Long
FUCK THIS SHIT RIDDLER GET ON THE BIKE WE ARE BAILING, LET BATFUCKER SORT THIS SHIT
PEACE OUT!