Family goes to church every sunday

American here I wasn't but I probably will get baptized someday

>It's an pr*testant thing, i'm betting
Baptists are one of the most prominent denominations of protestants. Surely you aren't this dense user...

You know why Protestantism is so big in America?

Because Americans are lazy. Why do all that confessing sins and atoning for them nonsense when they can just accept Jesus as their savior, be a reprehensible toerag, and still get into Heaven?

I find forcing religion onto a fucking child to be as disgusting as giving him pornography, except you're not even giving him a choice if to consume it or deny it. Religion should be something taboo and private which has no group. You should believe in whatever the fuck you want about birth, death, resurrection, multiple lives, life on different planets, without requiring a group to tell you "Good job for believing in our particular philosophy about death and rebirth".

You really do just talk out of your ass, don't you?

They could be Methodist

Yeah, that's not uncommon in the US either. Some people get re-baptized as teenagers or even adults.
>I find forcing religion onto a fucking child to be as disgusting as giving him pornography
You're weird.

Well, I learned from the best.

As Americans, everyone has a right to share their religion and beliefs openly, but everyone also has the right to tell them to fuck off. Forcing religion is wrong, yeah, but people have the right to leave home at 18 and believe whatever the fuck they feel like, which is exactly what I did.

A lot of them are lip service type of christians
They pray during bad times and go to church and all, but they won’t do anything beyond the bare minimum

Like most things, Americans also half-ass religion. They claim to believe in god, show up to church MAYBE with some regularity, sit through Sunday sermons while paying attention maybe a quarter of the time, and then ignore the teachings of that sermon for the whole week until next Sunday. As for baptisms specifically, I was pretty heavily involved with one of my home towns major churches so I helped with a lot, most people who actually got baptized were younger families new to the religion who got super excited to go through all the ritual stuff but then stopped showing up with any regularity after about a year.

Their religion is, according to The Father, Son, and Holy Guest Star, “The Western Branch of American Reform Presbylutheranism,” which is a totally made up amalgamation of Protestant types, which gives them a ton of leeway when it comes to religious practices. In this same episode, you see Flanders reads from both the King James Bible, which is a very traditional old-school Protestant text; as well as the Vulgate of St. Jerome, which is a Latin translation used by Catholics. At the end, Homer references two saints: St. Augustine of Hippo and St. Ambrose of Milan. Those guys are early enough in church history that a lot of Protestants (especially reformed) like them, but in general saints are a Catholic thing
There’s basically two competing schools of thought when it comes to baptism. Some say baptism is an inherently necessary thing (a sacrament), and the others say it is a sign only of your acceptance (an ordinance). In other words, one side would baptize a baby, for the same reason you give a baby medicine, he has to be baptized even if he doesn’t understand why. One side wouldn’t baptize a baby, because they liken it more to signing a contract. You have to reach an age of understanding in order for it to mean anything
One conflict in the show is Rev. Lovejoy is less religious, less devout, and less scrupulous than his parishioner Ned Flanders. I imagine Ned Flanders takes a more sacramental approach to baptism, the Simpsons view it more as an ordinance, and Rev. Lovejoy doesn’t care enough to impose his will on either party.

Who mentioned baptists though? Who even implied baptists weren’t Protestant?

There are certainty families who do that, but baptism, which is what we are specifically discussing here, hardly counts. Unless you heavily buy into the dogma then its just a dunk in cold water.

No, the child should have right to not be religiously indoctrinated.
What good does it serve you to be able to "believe" in what you want at the age of 18 after you've already been brainwashed for good? Just look at how many angry Christians, especially Mexican and Spanish Christians we have who behave like they've been molested.

Putting your kid in some water for a second is bad, but chopping off their foreskin is a-okay? Man, you guys are retarded.

Hell, Ned keep Kosher, just to hedge his bets. The only guideline for the writers is "we thought it would be funny."

The only people whose understanding of the world don't change and evolve as they grow up are literally people with developmental disorders.
There's really no problem teaching your child about the Prophet Muhammad, and you're a stupid racist if you think otherwise.

That's because circumcision has been divorced of its religious nature in America and is seen as a routine medical procedure that newborns go through. Though it's starting to fall out of favor, if only to save yet another line on the hospital bill.

No question about that, we should take a massive shit on the worst kind of middle easterns; the jews. But unfortunately if we haven't been able to stop them from shoving africans down our throats since the 1900s when supposedly this generation was so pussified then society sure as fuck won't be capable of banding up together in an organized manner and declaring war on Hollywood, Istan, California.

>it's okay to mutilate your kid's genitalia because it's not really explicitly religious
You're a retard.

Sooo 90% of the planet?

I think protestans don’t need to be baptized as babies like catholics, so Flanders doing it shows how super religious he is

They are protestant, it is clear by things such as the reverend being married.

when supposedly their generation weren't so pussified*

24.7% of the planet is Muslim, infidel.

I don’t understand the “let them believe what they want” point of view, I really truly don’t. Like, it takes one second of imagining you’re the other side in order to completely lose it
Meaning, pretend you have a religious belief for a second. Even though you don’t, pretend you really think Muhammad is a prophet or Buddha came from Heaven or something: alright? You pretending to genuinely believe that?
Okay, now why you intentionally not teach your kids this belief, which you believe to be true?

>They are protestant

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I view religious sects the same way I view BDSM fetishists. It should be something kept behind closed doors. It's something you should keep to yourself, not proudly parade around.

Yeah I teach all of my kids about Mohammed and how he raped a little girl

I'm fairly confident he was referring to 90% of the planet being dipshits with simplistic world views that allow them retain the same world view their whole life despite whatever evidence they are provided to the contrary.

I don’t wanna pressure them and shit,

>Rape
Catholics are pretty good at that

And he's wrong because 24.7% of the planet is Muslim (aka they're right) and thus not dumb.

It’s funny how redditors say this so often, considering they don’t believe bdsm practitioners should keep it private

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Yes I know 90% of the planet are gypsies, "africans" and asians. I find it disgusting how the American jews pushed for this imbecility that Caucasians were ever a minority like the Irish and Scots. It's like a bullying telling you to stop hitting yourself and other bold-faced lies.

Redditors say that line? I thought I was the only one who compared religion to sex.

>it's wrong to teach your kids about your religion, you're brainwashing them
>instead you should take them to drag queen story hour or a gay pride parade where they can watch men fuck each other in the ass on the street

gypsies aren't race.

Glad your kids are learning you're a racist idiot who hates brown people except you have no kids.

You mean science?

those 24.7% of sand nigs can't even decide on which flavor of their religion is correct, and regularly kill each other over small differences in dogma. Who is to say Ismāʿīlism is not correct.

I mean Shakespeare and books about war, crime, sex, politics. You don't teach Shakespeare to a 5-9 year old, do you?

You know what's good for getting cum stains out of altar boy robes?

Holy water!

DIDJA MISS ME?

I haven't kept up with current events and today's society. That's what jews and jew slaves do nowadays? in-fucking-credible. You really need to cut the Gordian knot with these parasites because nature will find a way to fuck you one way or another.

What do you call them?

The sad thing is they lack the empathy to put themselves in another man's shoes. They can't imagine being religious and believing their kid will go to Hell if they don't believe in their religion even though it's so simple to do that. It's so simple to go "well, yeah, if I believed it was good for them to get some water splashed on them while some wizard says some words, of course I'll do that for them." It's not a huge, mentally taxing exercise to realize you'd do the things you believe are best for your kids. Simple as.

America kills Muslims, user. Is America now Muslim?

Ned does everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.

based and nedpilled

replacing christian and religion with "tranny" and "politics" makes it even funnier
>No, the child should have right to not be politically indoctrinated.
What good does it serve you to be able to "believe" in what you want at the age of 18 after you've already been brainwashed for good? Just look at how many angry trannys, especially Mexican and Spanish trannys we have who behave like they've been molested.

Jews and Christians are sick in the head just like asians and middle easterns. You don't have the standards and moral qualities of a middle-european caucasian. You're worse than the drunkard irish and the clinically depressed vikings.

60% of Christians are naturally abusive cunts who teach their naturally abusive children to grow into wife and child beaters.
If anything religion just like alcohol is a great way to really emphasize what a shit person someone can be.

Religion had its value as prototypical book of law but it's redundant now that governments and law enforcement with actual power exist.

Are you okay?