Self published author shows

could just say you forgot your wallet in the car. i'll be right back!

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your face

Most writers are aspy.

you misspelled ashy

it fills mine with content knowing that plebs will, in fact, not get the recognition they don't deserve

the more i look at him, the more i adore him. he simply wants to share the grand exploits of the diamond league.

You're a new writer going against monsters like Borges, Bolaño, Cela, Casares, Tolstoy and many others.

Oh come on, Borges was not *this* ugly.

lots of 'artists' dont deserve recognition. you think ariana grande does?

how many do you think break even? i've heard it's relatively easy to break even on the table that you rent, and they all likely have an online store where they make a bit of dosh and on amazon and the other online retailers.

>plebs will not get the recognition they don’t deserve
ever looked at the top sellers on amazon?

b-but what if there is an undiscovered diamond in the rough?

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>YA Fantasy Romance
Maybe they should try a less saturated genre

He was a Chad.

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this image is nauseating.

I wish I could feel this good about the things I write

>tfw going to publish my post-post-,modern manifesto in the guise of a YA fantasy
I hope somebody here will live long enough to see me become famous and think "ahh,all these years I spent browsing that shithole were worth it,I may have conversed with the greatest mind of the 21st century"

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>that author
>that cover
jesus...

that shirt is incredible

I think it’s awesome. It shows they love what they’re doing so much they take it to autistic levels. And they really believe in their work and subsequently stand behind it.

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mfw i'm selfpublished

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>1100 hours for an average sized novel
Anyone doing this is doing something wrong—I’m on track to finish a 250k commentary in about 500-600 hours and I’m not particularly speedy.

If she can’t get a paperback romance published she must be truly awful.

do you think The Diamond League is about black chads or blerds or black chads that paradoxically have blerd tendencies?

Not depressing at all.

I looked up the Amazon reviews for a lot of these books. Yikes. They are all from people who know the authors and even then some criticize the spelling/grammatical errors.

I like how he has a copy of the book for community browsing on top of the cash box so he can keep the other copies in perfect condition

comixcentral.com/products/amazing-adventure-superior-sam-1/
lmao this nigga didn't even draw the illustrations, 3d looking ass

>They are all from people who know the authors
>and even then some criticize the spelling/grammatical errors
Sounds like they chose the right people to surround theirselves with.

his ladyfriend is acute cute

from a user review for The Diamond League
>some phrases that used an incorrect word (think "take for granite" instead of "take for granted"
he is just adorable.

I would never set foot in such places because it's too sad. It's like going inside an empty restaurant and having the waiter move you towards the window so people outside can see you inside. It makes my heart break just thinking about it.

WHY ARE ALL OF THESE BEASTS GREASY FAT FUCKS?

I know they're in from burgerland, but ffs have some respect for yourself. No wonder they're so dumb they can't get a single sale.

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based

>"take for granite" instead of "take for granted"
Brandon is too pure for this world

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When I see stuff like these, I'm glad my parents forced my to Study Engineering. Regret Nothing.

There's one woman here that always has a stand at the yearly medieval fair, she's selling ugly covered fantasy books that no one even glances at and she just sit there all day looking sad in her princess costume

Stop it! You're killing me!

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>forgetting to put the author's name on the cover
oof

What type of "commentary"?

Fiction usually takes quite some time to write simply because the amount of drafting you need to make: you write something, then spend time re-writing it with a different PoV, or in different tone, or in different style.

Either way: whether people taking literature "seriously" spend less than a 1000 or more than a 1000 hours writing their works, self-published authors for sure spend way less than a 1000. We shouldn't pity them. They're probably somewhat happy doing what they're doing and they could maybe achieve something if they put some more effort into it.

me too, man, me too.

the worst part is that i've shilled my stuff on here and got genuine attention and even downloads, and from my various half-hearted attempts i've wrangled up a couple hundred if not a thousand downloads in a few years, but if i stop shilling then the reads stop coming.

>tfw no growth

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i imagine brandon's voice is a smokey bbq creole croaking that will prattle on and end in a satisfied chuckle, yet says nothing anyone can understand.

except you'll be able to pick out "Diamond League!" every now and then. it seems it's all brandon thinks about.

He's happy. To be honest, I would find those people more interesting to talk to than those who went through the meatgrinder of today.

He has a better chance selling a mix tape. It must be hell being a nerdy black guy.

Based happy thicc Black man

Black nerds are interesting. On the one hand there's the six foot three glasses-wearing mutes who wouldn't swat a fly if it bit them and then there's the guys who look like chads that walk around with waifu pillows, spend all their free time watching anime and playing fighting games, and make their living drawing cartoon titties. Their tweets are the exact same weeby shit their counterparts say, but run through a AAVE filter.

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>they have more ratings and reviews than me

amazon.com/Diamond-League-Brandon-Jones/dp/1539602230

goodreads.com/book/show/36949179-raven-thrall

goodreads.com/book/show/34877116-a-war-of-deception

she is a bonafide success, dozens of books with 200 reviews each. most of these you pity are more successful than any of us.

goodreads.com/author/show/2741078.Beth_Trissel

had you head of her previously or did you just google?

>Is there anything more depressing?

yeah, wasting your life on a cartoon website instead of at least TRYING to chase your dreams

>that preposterous "J" in the author's name.

You’re a faggot

behead all satans?

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Is this to be admired? I love anime but keep it to myself for the most part. There's a certain allure of going all out like that.

It is what you make of it.

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yeah thats how you sell art. word of mouth is a lie. the only way people find out about your work is if you tell them about it

Do people actually have waifus or is it all just an elaborate joke that I'm not in on?

I'm pretty sure most people who use that word are being ironic and/or seeking attention. I love anime girls, own figures and dakimakuras, etc. but I don't think of them as waifus, just characters I adore.
In fact I would say calling them a "wife" is misplaced from the beginning. It's ignoring the fact that the moe anime girl phenomenon is a consumer phenomenon - anime girls are more akin to virtual courtesans or entertainers than wives. "Virtual idol" would actually be a great term for anime girls in general.

They do, but there's also people who say they have a waifu ironically or who use waifu to refer to any anime girl regardless of level of devotion or interest because they don't know what they're talking about, they just know it's a word that exists and relates in some way to anime women.

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>dakimakuras

No offense, but what is the appeal? A regular pillow works just fine. I like anime but the whole community and fandom has always seemed alien to me. Maybe I'm just the odd one out, idk.

The fandom ruins it. Stuff like K-On and Non Non Biyori are unironically good and heart warming but the fandom is shit. Even Yea Forums would tell you that.

>I'm pretty sure most people who use that word are being ironic and/or seeking attention.
I used to think the same thing about MLP. I was wrong.

strangely analogous - the gods wait

word of mouth is reached at a critical mass of readership, of which i'm less than 1% of the way to if i had to guess.

definitely putting together a better marketing package for the next novel and actually trying to get it published.

Let's be real, people like this know they won't sell a lot. It's more than likely that if they went all the way and finished their shit and self-published, they're doing it more so because they just like writing than any want for fame and recognition.

>definitely putting together a better marketing package for the next novel and actually trying to get it published.

Just pay for 100 Amazon reviews, make the book free for a month to drive up position in sales rank then start charging for it. easy as pie

All of these people think they are just one agent/publishing rep meeting from being "discovered".

or i'll write a book that's not a dumpsterfire of intolerant and intolerable ideas and has things like emotional development and character insight. i think that's where i went wrong.

to quote a reader who made it 500 words in to an 80,000+ word novel,

>So I started reading this, but for whatever reason, the flip flop between characters makes this a dizzying write.

>No offense, but what is the appeal?
Lifesize art of a character you love, represented in an ideal way, that can be treated either as a beautiful/charming/sexy decoration or treated like a doll, carried around and cuddled with. I always loved stuffed animals as a kid - more than typical, still had dozens into my teens - and even had a body pillow to help me sleep, I may be predisposed to this sort of thing.
>I like anime but the whole community and fandom has always seemed alien to me
>The fandom ruins it
I agree that the fandom is annoying, but I'm not aware of any "fandom" (what a contempible term, sounds so pleb and low-class - can you imagine Nietzsche or Shakespeare being "fans" in a "fandom") that isn't annoying. I don't go to Yea Forums, reddit, or anywhere else to discuss anime and I have no friends that like it. I just enjoy it and interpret it in my own way.

He looks embarassed.
Are you guys ACTUALLY fucking autistic?

as a self-published offer,
>they're doing it more so because they just like writing than any want for fame and recognition.
the two are hopelessly intertwined in a mutual and fatal relationship. fame and recognition fuel the love to write, the love to write fuels fame and recognition, unless of course one of them is missing, in which case an author can be manic-depressive in their relationship with writing.

There's nothing more gay that ironic waifu dinners, you're literally only doing it to fit in at that point.

>I just enjoy it and interpret it in my own way

What anime do you watch?

I love my waifu with all my heart, she means more than your shallow normalfag brain could imagine.

>I always loved stuffed animals as a kid - more than typical, still had dozens into my teens
That's pretty cute honestly, user.
> I don't go to Yea Forums, reddit, or anywhere else to discuss anime and I have no friends that like it.
Me neither. I've been here half my life and I've never even lurked Yea Forums. I have one friend who likes it but that's about it. He mostly like Moe but I guess there's some stuff we both like.

>not shallow
>can fall in love with a 2-dimensional caricature

>Displays his shallowness with absolutely no shame.

are you?

Every single one of them

leave six flags guy alone

I think most people here probably didn't catch this joke, but I gotta say 10/10.

There was this guy in my hometown who was 6foot 10 and wore an old texan style suit and a cowboy hat. He would always be standing around this shopping center near the Chinese restaurant I ate at nearly every day. He had an eyepatch after an injury related to a stroke he had and he was an author.

Anyone that would come up to him he would talk in the way you are describing. His words would just be a grumble of croaking that was totally unintelligible. He would often bookend his gurgling at you with the phrase "BUY MY BOOKS, BUY MY BOOKS" and give out his business card for his western stories.

desu I did end up buying one.

Sounds like a cool guy. Did you like the book?

I'm a self-published author, and yeah, 'self-published author shows' sound kinda cringy. I'm extremely verbally articulate though, and people tend to enjoy conversations with me it seems. I've also self-published almost a dozen books with my primary pseudonym with 10 of them being available in paperback format. In fact I have a copy of each of them at this very moment and have taken... a couple photosof them all together. Well then, yikes... it occurs to me that I could now upload one of the pictures. Would that be cringe? The covers aren't too good; made with cover creator programs for free. In fact I spent basically nothing to get those books self-published.

Well I spent a little bit of time checking out the pic, may as well include it since I went and mentioned it. I'm doubtful I'll ever go to a self-published author show, though, not with my J N Morgan pseudonym. I've written some fucked-up stuff with this name, anyhow, the top 5 are all one series, the bottom five are currently stand-alones though I anticipate I'll be doing more with the Firearm Valhalla concept. I dedicated that book to /k/. As someone who frequents /k/ and Yea Forums primarily, does that make me a /klit/? Sounds pretty fuckin' gay...

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The most recent that I enjoyed a lot was Kaguya-sama from this last season. Also the movie Maquia. My all-time favorite is Hibike:Euphonium. I tend to like girl-centric anime focused on beautiful aesthetics but I also like some more macho fare like Patlabor 2 or Akira.
>That's pretty cute honestly, user.
This made me smile. I do sometimes wonder what I'll do with all of it when/if I get married but with no progress on that front to speak of I'm carefree about it.

>a genuine /klit/boi

Shame on you user.

>I did end up buying one.

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You could honestly do better covers in 30 minutes of photoshop. These are so bad that they look like you are trying to be ironic. Tell us more about what some of these books on the bottom row are about?

You sound very sweet. Best of luck finding somebody equally sweet to be with and likes that kind of thing too.

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Ironically, I'm a very masculine fellow. If I were indeed gay I think I might quality as a 'bear'. At best I'm just bi, since I seem to primarily have sexual interest in the feminine which just so happens to extend to traps and even ultra-feminine 'cis' males, meaning basically femboys or sissies or what have you. Very small, basically hairless below the eyebrows, thin, weak, and very submissive. Actually gave a consideration to a story that involved an interesting class or even biological differentiation between men, separating them between Alphas and Betas. As mentioned it could be biology, with men born as Betas being naturally small and weak while men born as Alphas being naturally big and strong but there's enough DISTINCTIVELY in both groups with not too much in-between variation that, in a way, males are almost themselves separated into two different categories.

Or, y'know, it's not as complex as all that, but anyways Alphas will partake in heterosexual monogamy, BUT, Alphas are allowed a Beta and it's considered quite normal for Alphas to have both a woman and a submissive man as their long-term partners, maybe even the Alphas being 'granted' a Beta at a young age and the assigned Beta serves him throughout their lifetimes. In terms of familial structures, the Beta is at the very bottom. The wife holds more sway than him, but of course the Alpha husband is the absolute patriarch of the house and if he's truly an Alpha, then he will be somewhat like a 'just Monarch' of the household. She is something like the Parliament of this 'Constitutional Monarchical household' concept, with some say in the matter but ultimately deference goes to the Alpha husband. Maybe some Alphas go in between fucking the wife and fucking the Beta throughout the year, or perhaps in times of pregnancy when she's not interested, or if she's sick, or on the period, whatever, it might be that the Beta only receives sexual use in those times. It's up to the Alpha. I suppose in theory some Betas can be brutally mistreated, even beaten, but in my mind the Alpha would generally regard the Betas with a level of respect or at least generally not mistreated unless they fuck up. They serve, sexually, and perhaps occasionally something like 'hired help' too. Cleaning, changing diapers, MAYBE cooking if they're inclined to it, etc.

If it comes down to biological changes, then it's likely that Betas are all sterile, either from birth naturally or made sterile upon birth when 'discovered' to be a Beta or is 'assigned' it. I'm still working out the concept, been rolling it around in my mind from time to time for months, maybe over a year. Lots of 'slice-of-life' type stuff would go on, the Alpha's work, the Beta's home life, the wife's position ahead of the Beta but defers to the Alpha, perhaps even instances where some wives are given permissions from the Alpha to take out frustrations and angers on the Beta. Could build up quite an in-depth 'society' of sorts...

Shut the fuck up about this weird cucked rant you retard. Talk about your books, or fuck off. Nobody gives a shit about your childish pseudo-sociology you are pulling out of your ass.

>When her No means Yes
Based around a couple College students, a male who's nearing graduation and a female who's just beginning. Tragic backstory of female, crippling social anxiety, and some quite twisted sexual idiosyncrasies. Really it's just an erotica, but there's a decent bit of story and character development to it. The ending is rather bittersweet, not exactly a 'happy' ending, but not entirely bad either I think. I also experimented with a watersports scene, she's hyper-submissive by nature and he's quite dominant though not to the extent that she'd like. He has some personal demons, she has some personal demons, and so while in the shower he puts her on her knees and pisses on her to 'dominate' her. They ultimately don't much like it and don't bother with it further.

>Firearm Valhalla
Post-apoc of sorts, seems to be set in America, lots of different firearms being used, and I sometimes refer to this as 'my gun-porn book'. I took the photo for the front-cover myself.

>Another One Please
Bad marriage, wife apparently barren but she has lots of female relatives with big families. Not taking it well, she end up alcoholic, abusive, he mainly sleeps on the couch, he's falling into alcoholism too, I think the ending turned out pretty good. Well, 'good'... it's pretty awful in many ways but I just think it turned out 'interestingly'.

>To Take what is Needed
Wrote it on Fiverr for a woman in Mexico, she liked it, I thought it turned out good, asked if I could self-publish it, she said it's fine as long as I changed a few things, and so I changed the things and self-published it. It's about a nerdy and chubby shut-in University professor who mostly just stays home and plays videogames. She has a thing for the... was he the 'Dean' of the university? Anyways, she secretly likes him, he finds an interest in her, takes her on a date, brings her home, he has an elevator in his mansion, it goes down to the basement, and there he kidnaps her, ties her up, essentially forces himself on her, but in fact deeply loves her and wishes her to bare him children. Won't give how it ends.

>Delicious Addiction of Oppression and Outrage
Non-fiction about the insanity of the modern left. Wrote it in 2017, some of it about fake hate crimes. Perhaps around a year and a half or so before Jussie Smollett.

thyʃe.

Well then, hard to argue with those trips. I still think the idea is interesting, though.

Also, I'm totally illiterate when it comes to Photoshop and my interest in using it is quite limited. Fascinating product, the outcome is incredible sometimes, makes seemingly anything possible, but I'm just not interested in that. I've given quite a bit of thought to hiring people on Fiverr to make new book covers. I make a fair bit of money there from a different pseudonym primarily writing custom erotica for people.

Thanks user.

That's straight up omegaverse, the most cancerous setting to ever infect the internet.
fanlore.org/wiki/Alpha/Beta/Omega
archiveofourown.org/works/403644/chapters/665489

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Ah... well then... shit.

I mean, there's a market for it, if you want a bunch of fujos and trannies breathing down your neck, but they'd probably take umbrage with your previous works, by the sound of them.

I'm about to put a couple of my books up on KDP, since I'm sick of shopping them to agents. What can I expect? Can one of you in this thread that doesn't write smut give me some hard numbers on how many copies you generally sell on amazon per month?

I've made money from my friend buying a single copy, that is it.

If I write the book, it will likely be with a different pseudonym. My Living Amongst the Dead series actually introduces a Black lesbian character... spoiler alert, she's an antagonist for the most part, not a protagonist. I don't give any heed to political correctness whatsoever in my writings, though I don't particularly seek political incorrectness. If it happens, then it happens.

Usually none, but if you put it on their lending library, they pay you if people read it. In other words, you charge money for the books to anyone who wants to buy, but also put it in the free library. They pay you a little more than a penny per page read. You can make some money that way.

marry him

How much have you actually made total on the highest-paid book you have ever had?

Yes, AWP is at least equally depressing

I do think honestly.

recognition is a spook

I had some free kindle credits from ordering slow shipping on Amazon. They were about to expire, so I ordered The Diamond League

Bless you, Brandon.

They got nothing in common, damn faggot.

>"I'm jotting down my half-assed thoughts on someone else's original work and stretching it out for hundreds of pages"
Congrats on doing what any grad student does we are all so in awe

No, your thoughts are Dishonest

I feel the same way at comic book/anything nerdy conventions. You yourself might even think ''this idea is shit and will never take off'' while they're giving you a rundown of their thing. Is there a music version of these things or is the closest those rappers trying to sell me their mixtape in a Walmart parking lot?

Those bookends are the ones pictured in SCP-826.

>when her "no" means "yes"

kek

Same, I don't want recognition, I don't care if everyone hates my book as long as they pay up.

I hope to see logo at the next one

Of course she does. You may not like Pop music, but a lot of people do, and she's extremely good at it.

The same goes for this YA and fantasy crap. I'm not into it, but that doesn't mean I don't think people who are really good at it don't deserve recognition from the appropriate public. Mediocrity however, in any field, deserves to be buried in oblivion.

>Is there a music version of these things
Look for the performers at free community events put on by your city/town

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(OP)
>self publishing
People....people still do this?

>Spending years submitting query after query and sucking jew cock in the hopes some white woman in New York will pay you a $5000 advance

Naw, trying and failing is one thing, but going the self-publishing route is the epitome of shame.

Mariah is a blacksmith's daughter. She should have never let herself hope for more. As a young woman with the wings of a hawk, it's no wonder she considers herself nothing less than a freak. Before she even has a chance to find her place, she is betrayed and chased from the only home she has ever known. Now, living alone is the only way she knows how to survive - away from judging eyes and the kingdom that would make her a slave. But when Xae, a young refugee shifter, shows up in her territory, her mentor pushes her to aid him, to hint that she is meant for greater things. Xae's little sisters have been captured, and Mariah may be the only one who can rescue them.

To succeed, she must return to her homeland and venture all the way to the seat of the king's power. Despite help from friends she and Xae make during their quest, Mariah finds that abandoning her own freedom may be the only way she can liberate the two young girls otherwise destined for a life of servitude and torture. Will their daring plan to free Xae's family work, or will Mariah end up bound by the shackles she's spent her whole life trying to avoid?

it's a prequel to BLACK FUTURE

You have to marry her user,it's the only way

Is anyone else getting the urge to go to one of these things and buy a book from everyone? I wouldn't even read them, I'd probably just donate them to a thrift store.

he seems nice. i'd buy his book.

Is self publishing really that bad a route?

What's the joke?

No, you are for not being able to read basic body language.

He slipped in a person who is not a self-published author, who is a notorious leftist critical theorist author. In this photo he appears to be tabling books for a distribution/press company (as some of them are clearly not his, like Zerzans Origins is clearly visible for sale for example). The person putting him in this thread in a candid photo of him wearing a goofy outfit, makes him appear to be similar to the shitty romance authors in this thread.

it was sweet of you to buy that lonesome cowboy’s book, user.

>Somewhere the Bells Ring (Somewhere in Time #3)
>Caught with pot in her dorm room, Bailey Randolph is exiled to a relative's ancestral home in Virginia to straighten herself out. Banishment to Maple Hill is dismal, until a ghost appears requesting her help. Bailey is frightened but intrigued. Then her girlhood crush, Eric Burke, arrives and suddenly Maple Hill isn't so bad.
>To Eric, wounded in Vietnam, his military career shattered, this homecoming feels no less like exile. But when he finds Bailey at Maple Hill, her fairy-like beauty gives him reason to hope--until she tells him about the ghost haunting the house. Then he wonders if her one experiment with pot has made her crazy.
>As Bailey and Eric draw closer, he agrees to help her find a long-forgotten Christmas gift the ghost wants. But will the magic of Christmas be enough to make Eric believe--in Bailey and the ghost--before the Christmas bells ring?

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I like you user. Good luck and please remember me.

Here is his website if anyone else is interested. Music starts playing in the background like an old geocities site.

bobbyrwoodall.com/

>Living amongst the dead
>amongst

STOP THE MEMES

i thought the same thing. would totally fucking wear that.

>raven
>thrall
have I been /pol/ too long?

jesus this hits me in the feels
my mother wants to become an author and im worried she might be heading for this
so much disappointment in a single image

let her pursue her passion. you're not in charge of her.

i'm not saying that. i'll support her regardless
imagining her in this situation just makes me feel sad

I knew this lady from campus and she was always trying to sell me one of her books, she was an anthropologist and the book was about a tribe or something. She was french and she got hooked hard on drugs with her Ex boyfriend, apparently dude killed himself in front of her and she became crazier, she was just roaming around campus smoking and having this weird ass tics all the time.

yeah I think chasing your dream and failing is the worst thing ever to watch

perfect blue was torturous bros, nina was so happy when she was a pop singer and she threw it all away. she tried her best but in the end it didn't even matter

youtu.be/dpaCRJ_u600

Not even a /pol/fag but i gotta say the fall of Berlin is an acute example of this for me.
All those lives, all that effort, those grand plans, all those hopes and dreams just ground into the dust.

If you don't try, you don't succeed.

if you don't try you don't fail

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>isekai

ewww

Very applicable title. The female protagonist, spoiler alert, has a rape fetish. It is a fetish I had personally experienced from a female partner in a previous relationship. In the story, though, it's portrayed as much more brutal and emotionally affecting. My ex-gf from about a decade ago, she didn't like it anywhere near so rough, and I was too beta at the time to actually assert that much blatant dominance. This has since changed.

The ride never ends. Also, there's a Bible verse found with those words in it, found the verse after choosing the title if I'm not mistaken. I just searched, it's Luke 24:5.

Wait, what the FUCK?! They talk about my book on this website! Apparently a Polish person wrote about it, awesome, his home nation is based as fuck and have my respect.

zineyou.jp/living-amongst-the-dead.html

thanks OP,
I am deleting all my novel ideas

What a butchered and brainleted version of Kierkegaard's Either/Or.

>Kierkegaard's Either/Or.

well which is it?

I mean it's not that bad, I have 4000 hours of counter strike played

You haven't even read it, have you? Embarrassing joke.

did you at least make any money on skins?

c'mon user didn't even make you smile a little?

I won a small tournament and got a mousepad and a gift card worth 50e

best day of my life

how do you get into writing custom erotica
i used to be really into online stories to wank to and once wrote my own jacked off to it a few times and then deleted it in shame

Is she selling tiny multicoloured gardening spades? What are those things?

I've been interested in writing sexual content for many years, since sometime in my teens (surprise-surprise) though it was only for fun. I find it very interesting to write erotica for people, and I've become quite efficient at adopting a similar mindset to the person I'm writing through via conversing about their ideas with them. Eventually, generally, once I figure out the 'vibe' of the story that's desired, I can then start suggesting further ideas and they agree with them since it's in line with their desires. "Then after that, this happens, and she's conflicted because of action A and when he says B she just can't believe it's really happening and that when several loose strands of spaghetti seeps out of her pussy and ass."

Alright that went into an odd direction, I've never actually written something like that before, but anyways once I get the right 'mindset' of the story, I can then present different ideas and if I'm indeed on the same page then they'll be agreeing with most everything I say. I generally quite enjoy such conversations, and the fact I'm connecting with an individual insofar as I'm learning what gets them off. It's even women from time to time. I wrote this one story for someone who seemed to be a woman, ghostwritten it so they were going to monetize it. It was over a year ago, my prices were FAR lower back then. Something like 15-17k words for $100. I won't go into any detail of the story besides the fact it involved the 'reverse harem' sort of situation/fetish. One woman, many men, and the men are all chill with the fact. In short, she loved it so much that she gave me a full 50% tip, the highest I'm aware of, so $50.

I was quite proud that month... as for how long it took me to write it? Probably about 8 hours or so, so almost $20 per 1 hour of writing. Even after the tip, that's a bit cheaper than I write for now, ESPECIALLY when taking into account they got commercial rights for the piece. I don't know what they did with the story, and indeed sadly their account was deleted or blocked not long after. I hope they made lots of money from it.

They're mainly sitting tho

That's a big author

raven feathers you silly-billy.

My hunch is that they're pens.

The internet and ebooks have made it feasible instead of the automatic badge of failure it used to be. But as far as I can see, to have a chance of making it work, you need serious self-promotion skills and dedication.

for you

Looks more like a shrine than a meal. There's probably fewer ironic shrines just because they're less of a meme.
I've forgotten what the wordfilter is for senpai so consider this a test

This is fucking gold holy shit

You'll regret it either/or

this cannot NOT be a pasta

I'm not that user but I smiled

Y'know, I get that comment a lot...

this is retarded. the benefit of self publishing is using the net to get sales from the outliers all over the world who your shit happens to hit a note with. only b**mers would do in print sales from a fucking booth probably in some nowhere flyover city suburb high school gym being rented out for the day.
It takes me about 4 hours a day for 3 months if I'm not fucking around, so 360 hours? Research and editing might drag that out to 600 hours.

"Another one please" said absolutely no-one to you after they finished one of your books.

This guy seems chill

>but going the self-publishing route is the epitome of shame.

t. kike afraid of his dying industry

what separates traditional publishing from self publishing is that self publishing has less inherent """quality""" control and thus people are free to share their own creation without a committee breathing down their neck

it also means you will never be barred from releasing what you actually want rather than being forced to write something that appeals to the committee of trend chasing kikes who want to rake in the profits of your work

It's a shrine. Yunofag's been doing it for years.

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Clever, but I have a reader in the US who said "you're like Stephen King in that I'm going to buy and read whatever you put out." There's also a guy in Germany who bought the entire 5-novel Living Amongst the Dead series in paperback format, I've exchanged some emails with him. Also a fellow in Australia who is also a fan of the series. Interestingly enough, all three of these individuals are at retirement age or very close to it. I seem to appeal to the Boomer generation quite a bit... which I don't quite know what to make of. They're not the leftie Boomers though, in fact the Aussie enjoys frequently going out to the bush to burn some black powder and the US fellow is allegedly ex-Military. In fact when he read Another One Please, which is about a terrible marriage, he had been through several divorces and said it brought back some bad memories, but he meant it as a compliment and I accepted it as such. A sad compliment, but a compliment none the less. He is also aware of my age, which is late-20s presently, and that I've never been married or divorced so he was quite shocked at how well I portrayed it.

All the same, I do have quite a few negative reviews so obviously there's indeed several people out there who would agree in not wanting 'another one please.' I'm not so foolish as to think that everyone on the planet would definitely enjoy at least two of my books, but I did sell 6 of them in-person to someone who's a recent friend. Only known him for the span of months, but it seems I've had quite an influence on him and so he dropped... what was it... $70 for them? Though also I've given one book away to someone for free whom hasn't spoken to me about it since and then there's another chick who bought one from me (with tip, she insisted), and yet another paperback sale to someone in the same building and then my landlord went and bought one. He generously gave me $20 for it even though I told him it's only $8. None of those individuals who bought/received one book has asked for others, so you're accurate thus far in that regard.

Holy shit this guy is just itching to tell his fucking life story, he keeps doing it.

Why is there food then? I'm pretty sure this is a valentines day meal.

underrated

kek

he is the real story

I want to read the diamond league

>he doesnt have a collection of his favorite philosophers in body pillow form
>he doesnt strap kant in at night to stop him masturbating
>he doesnt share his bedtime fruit with nietzsche
>he doesnt dress hegel in his nightgown and beret

Black guy looks super relatable. Idk if it's the hopeless optimism or the fact you can tell he's the "virgin" meme type of guy. I only hope people don't blow smoke up his ass and actually give constructive criticism that way he can improve.

>Lazarus took for granite the stony stare of his friend.

I have the feeling that he is actually fucking nuts, given the subject matter he writes about. Is this really what all you guys are like IRL? Crazy guys who /k/ themed erotica, who want nothing more than to rant about your life story?

Is this an absolute deadend or can you actually get discovered this way? I know some well known writers self published their first work (like Whitman), but is there any chance of going anywhere with this in a modern context?

Honestly it depends on how much you put into marketing and advertising. If you put as much money into your marketing as a normal publisher would for a given book you will have an equivalent outcome. It isn't hard to get you book into distributor packages as long as you have good PR materials.

Body pillows (the normal, non-anime kind) are comfortable and a good sleep aid.

amazon self published people are worse

U S A
The land of the obese

At least it's better than to having woken up early and arrived expectantly at this places and to sit and wait for someone to pay attention and maybe buy a copy and have nothing happen to you.

Is Robert F. Clintz a good pseudonym?

Bob isnt self published you cum ragged homos. He doesnt even do "novels".

what is a “distributor package”

what are fujos?

Just how things work if you have ever worked for a small independent bookstore, ever wondered how they get their books? You think they decide to read literally every book they put on their shelves and pick and choose them all one by one based on their taste? No you tardlet, publishers have distribution packages you order where you just say "send me these things and an assortment of shit" kind of. Big publishers do their own distribution and smaller publishers sell their wares to companies that just do distribution. So say I'm a small publisher and I have a bunch of novels, some poetry, and some cookbooks. I sell a distributor the rights for specific territories, and they will package my cookbook in their 'cooking' package that might end up in the cooking utensil endcap at a Kohls in Nebraska for all I fucking know.

If you do distribution yourself it literally means calling stores and trying to get book placement individually, which is much tougher.

This so much

In a lot of cases if youre not on the web you dont exist. Seems like every year Baudrillard becomes more right

I admire people who can physically go to these book fairs and shill their books, or even social media. I'm such a coward. I self-publish to Amazon and hope people randomly buy my book

How many sales have you had so far over the course of your publishing career?

90 books, $35 bucks

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Ariana Grande was a bad example, shes actually talented. Could've chose someone like Cardi b

based

how many pages is your book?

I've got 8 books out. Each "book" or booklet is about 3000-4000 words, between 40-80 pages, font size 16, and with pictures I draw in gimp.

t-thanks

The last months look promising, sales are going up

Yeah, but I also started a real job at a restaurant a few weeks ago. February was my last month of neetdom. It's way harder to write now that I'm exhausted after cooking, washing dishes and utensils, and mopping floors for 8 hours a day.

>trend chasing kikes who want to rake in the profits of your work
no one wants to buy your shitty Turner Diaries/Gorilla Mindset book

Now imagine that you need twice the amount of outlining, drafting, and re-drafting. Voila, 1200h.

woah senpai it's like monarchic society was based on family

Not the guy but from the same table years ago. (Little Black Cart, the guys who published the new Max Stirner Translation)

>At the Seattle Anarchist Bookfair on Saturday, August 26, several anarchists confronted Little Black Cart about their decision to publish and distribute Atassa: Readings in Eco-Extremism.(Book about the ideas of an eco terrorist group)

>After voicing these concerns and being met with smug indifference, one comrade ripped Atassa in half. The LBC tabler responded immediately by grabbing this person by the throat from behind the table, pushing through the table, putting them in a chokehold, and taking them to the ground in an attempt to choke them unconscious.

>A second comrade punched the attacker in the face in an attempt to get them to release the first. In response, an associate of the LBC tabler jumped on the second comrade from behind in defense of the choking attack, taking them to the ground and punching them repeatedly in the head until they were pulled off by bystanders.

>The physical conflict ended after the attackers were pulled off and both parties were told to leave by bookfair organizers, as per the bookfair policy. The comrade who was choked was fine, the one punched suffered a mild concussion.

>Many people in the immediate vicinity had no idea what was going on: all of a sudden, someone was being choked, another was being beaten, and no one really knew why. It was over quickly and people looked on in shock.

>Another LBC tabler, after witnessing the beatdown, expressed outrage about the property destruction when they found out their $7 book had been ripped in half. The person who put the comrade in the chokehold, after complaining about being kicked out because the other side had “started it,” was asked if the book was worth as much as the comrade’s neck and stated “Yeah it is.”

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Only racists self-publish. Of course!

What building is this tall all the way at the top of Manhattan

Tell that to BAP, his shit sold really well. You know why? Self-promotion and paying a PR firm.

LBC are great, they don't fuck around. Aragorn is based as fuck.

One World Trade Center obviously. You are looking at the picture improperly.

I like Bob Black. Read his anti-work manifesto a few years ago when I'd just moved to the big city for work and hated living there.

>anti-Semitic drivel

Fuck off. Why can't you people ever say anything without immediately nose-diving into the sewer? Really, what's wrong with you?

>Only racists self-publish. Of course!
No, only failures shitting out fanfic-tier garbage sell-publish.

Given that user was being racist, it seems a fair assumption that user is racist

> t. wannabe agent for Random House

Seriously, or someone who has never actually published something through a real publisher. Jesus christ what a fucking ordeal and by the end of it I was making pennies and getting fucked while they made thousands.

Never again, stupid fucking shills for publishers can fuck off.

>shes actually talented
I hope you're joking.

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It's comforting to know that I saved myself a ton of extra embarrassment by never actually perusing any of my dreams.

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You guys might laugh but this guys Diamond League book is carried by Barnes and Noble

barnesandnoble.com/w/the-diamond-league-brandon-jones/1125312080

what's his youtube?

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>I was born in Oklahoma City June 21, 1944 and raised in Chickasha, Oklahoma. Wild as a peach elm boar when I was younger.
KINO

It’s the best cover in this thread at least

Barnes and Noble has a self publishing section too. I've also got a book on Barnes and Noble

>negroes with Anglo names
Name a cringier duo

>Casares
>monster
lmao

I want to collect and translate norwegian/danish/swedish/german 19th century travel accounts of my tiny country and publish them as an English compendium. I can already see the 1 sale / decade ticking in.

I can think of worse ways to blow $100.

americans converting to islam

This is your (deserved) future if you write fantasy.

I unironically get high heartbeat excited when I get the occasional 30 cent direct deposit from Amazon

All you Doomers are just jealous of this Bloomer. Look how happy he is.

he is actually old school lit he has been posting his self pubbed stuff here for years. seems like a good fellow but a bit oblivious

I don't remember him. Most of the good people from that era were people like quentin and Deep & Edgy, not weirdos writing erotica.

Laugh my ass piss

this post protected by GUNS. meme rustlers will be SHOT ON SIGHT.

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Can anyone recommend me how to get into self-publishing? Do I just write my book and make a bunch of .pdfs or what?

Depends on what type of self-publishing you are doing. Try writing a good book first and then worry about it.

>Wrote two western novels; CLEARWATER(76,694 words-276 pages) and MERCER'S MANOR(95,799 words-333 pages). There is no profanity in either. When I wrote MERCER'S MANOR, I had in my mind's eye, Tom Selleck as Dan Mercer, Sam Elliott as his side-kick and Reba McEntire as the love interest. In CLEARWATER, I envisioned Clint Eastwood as the aging sheriff, doesn't want to rock the boat just glide along until retirement. As the "serial killer", I thought of Jack Nicholson! This way keeps me from having to take notes!

>Multiple grammatical errors in the synopsis for your book, which is meant to sell it
That's a yikes from me

The one I bought was Clearwater, it was ok. I'm not a huge fan of westerns, it is kind of surreal actually. The main character just keeps having interactions with people and starts blowing them away with very little build up. Then the main character just kind of shrugs it off. The writing is very erratic and weird. The story feels like it has lots of 'jump cuts' for lack of a better description like it was written by someone with a very scattered/disoriented thought process.

lmaooo
archive this thread

But they are already are...

Kill yourself you fucking reddit fuckstain.

better to just read the good stuff and write commentaries on them than do something as ridiculous as self publish. Most of those books are YA, so they're just trying to be the next Twilight or Hunger Games and cash in. Literature is dead

Joke definition: The worse things imaginable and ruin anything that can be seen as manly or strictly male focused/dominant casts.
Actual definition: Women that see a homosexual relationship in any friendship with two males. The full term is Fujoshi, which means rotten girl I believe. They enjoy yaoi, which is a genre of media that details sexual relationships between two men. Think pretty boy types and that is what they like.
They are best to be avoided and ignored if possible

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Say what you will for these people, but Josiah Bancroft started by self publishing and got noticed by a real publisher. He got noticed on merit because even when his stuff was on the same level as all these guys, it was quality. For all you know, any of these people might have your favorite book you haven't read yet.

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lmao that's like the book equivalent of

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Guy is a nutcase desu.

Is there anywhere I can read these books for free? I kind of feel like seeing just how truly bad they are.

shouldn't be difficult to find your local authors. there's meetup.com for writers and you're bound to find small town conventions. don't steal OP's finds just because he's putting them under your nose. you want to drink straight from the spigot. support your local weirdos.

Somehow, before looking at the pic, I knew it was going to be you after making it through the first paragraph.

How are the sales on your zombie series going?

My trade is baking, and Im also cursed with oily skin. Body pillows help with shoulder and back pain and the novelty anime cover is washable. I dont associate the character on the body pillow with intense romantic feelings so much as it is just a funny novelty.

>Weak smile, bent back, looking down
Wow he's so happy. BASED BLACK GUY XD

How is it that releasing music independently is less looked down upon than self-publishing, especially since the lack of funding and production quality potentially have a much greater an effect on music than lit? Provided the writer has an editor, I don't really see how it's any better or worse.

Yeah, I couldn't give a fuck about recognition. Obscurity is golden. A girl jerked me off in an old factory stairwell leading to a converted music studio, and I splattered all over her dress. I was on DMT at the time. It was revealed to me that pleasure wouldn't be as intense if it was in abundance. I had to work for that single ejaculation, which elevated the satisfaction. Imagine if I was a big-named artist scoring and jizzing everyday, it would become boring as shit. Embrace being obscure scum.

>When her 'No' means 'Yes'

based

It has a bad name because the industry hasn't changed over yet. So the only people self-publishing are weird old ladies writing fantasy romance and young adult. If more respectable people actually did self publishing it would probably have the kind of shift you are talking about. Be the change you want to see in the world. Self publish something good.

many of the books in this thread have free preview pages on amazon

I'm a musician; I'm just curious. Surely it can't be just weird old new-age types writing softcore porn.

you would hope to find sex in these books, but my estimation is that they're largely neuter.

What kind of music do you write? Are you a composer, by any chance?

This is the most depressing photo I've seen this year.

Absolutely based

I like how big she made the books dimensions, those are almost flyer/newsletter-sized paper. I wonder if the text inside is also huge.

Daughter looks qt

>tfw 25,000 hours into first book and still not finished

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Not humanly possible user, that would mean you spent approx 3 years worth of time writing.

Yeah that sounds about right

Well tell us about it at the very least you dummy. It must be the work of the century, the next war and peace.

It's about a futuristic amusement park, where dinosaurs are brought back to life through advanced cloning techniques.

I embraced, but this doesn't sound that bad actually.

It reminds me of those shitty chibi art movies made by kids on youtube, filled with spelling errors and text emotes.

It's the future of philosophy. That's all I'm saying.

The shillster strikes again, what can I say?

I get a sale every now and then, but overall it's not much. I make way more money on Fiverr.

Already triggered at least one Trump-hating feminist. Worth it.

that's 5 hours a day, every day, for 5000 days. so for 12 years you've been writing this much daily? how old are you?

If the actual nutters self-published more often I'd buy them eagerly. Think greats like Terry, Francis E. Dec ("GANGSTER COMPUTER GOD WORLD-
WIDE SECRET CONTAINMENT POLICY!"), etc.

Unfortunately the self-pub nutters are more Wayne Lambright tier. Just the same stale soup of standard conspiracy tropes.

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I'm going to buy a copy just for the site. He seems like a nice guy.

is that really Phil Elvrum

BWHA HA HA YOU LOSER

I will do the same, he seems to be a nice person

The unnecessarily high number of pencils in that jar is probably the most maddening thing about the entire image

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They are extremely brave, even if the dream is clearly unreachable and they are irreversibly ignorant and unaware of their utter failure, they still do it.

What have you got going? Do you make fun of them because you think you are better? where is you best seller? where is your paradigm shifting philosophical treatise veiled by postmodern comedic take on cumming on your cat?

do you have the skills and organization to create or guide a friend or freelance designer to envision a cover? no you fucking faggot, and you never will. Because you dont have a job, friends, and family members look on your "hobby" with contempt and disdain.

I'm lmaoing at ur life, kid.(1)

(1) - this post is as much honest kneejerk reaction to op and several posts in this thread as it is a long overdue analysis of my own sad life.

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I am become LARP, cringer of worlds

>>
>do you have the skills and organization to create or guide a friend or freelance designer to envision a cover? no you fucking faggot, and you never will. Because you dont have a job, friends, and family members look on your "hobby" with contempt and disdain.
Covers are 75% of the reason for sales on Amazon btw

75% of the remainder is social proof

With the amount of absolute drivel getting published these days, anyone who can't even get that far is in the wrong field.

Depends on what you write about and skin color/genitalia/queered status. A typical Yea Forums white male with his pretentious bullshit isn't going to get published anywhere, ever.

Who would even go to a self published convention other than self published authors?

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>bobbyrwoodall.com/

YEEEEEHAAAWWWW

would be dope to buy this from the legend himself desu

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he was also blind for most of his life

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powerful

congratulations on your record month user

He should really raise the price desu.

>t. Paul Joseph Watson

wow you should be someone‘s literary agent

Fuck off mate