Yea Forums Bar is Open for Business

I've never been to a pub. I want to experience it at least once but I don't want to be the loser who is all by himself.

Gordon's Martini cheers m8

One Modelo negro michelada extra clam juice

Aborted Fetuses

Why would you eat yourself?

>having to use ironic wojak comics to express your relationship with reality

for shame Yea Forums, I thought you were more sincere than that

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You’re always welcome here user.
Long day at the construction site?

[A big tiddied trans girl awkwardly stares at you with pharmacologically glazed eyes. Her glance lingers as the vest is forged]]

Thanks, Jeeves, but I've already sent out more than 50 query letters. This is the end of the line for this Yea Forumstard

I'm insane to the point where I'm thinking about putting wires in my mouth to stop me from talking.
Luckily, my writing is creative and interesting but I'm so unfocused, my ideas come out like splurting a tube of goo on a table instead of like a faucet.

I wish he was my friend. And alive. And still writing. Fuck this shit fucking clown world. He knew it before even the best of us

Si, Senor

Rev up those fryers
Peasant coming through
get me some fuckin ale

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What’s your book about buddy? Maybe it just needs some tweaking.

Funny you should ask. I've gone ahead and self-published, to decent reviews.
goodreads.com/book/show/33987393-amino?ac=1&from_search=true
I'll offer a free download
mega.nz/#!ssBwHCQS!ueKOKNGmHofeaAhvaLgu-4fNOt0Mw-zV7BocIWAVFDQ

Uh, hullo. My eyes briefly espy the unnatural bulge in her neck, before my shame makes itself felt, I meet her gaze, and then disgust makes me look elsewhere.

Ah, I'm going to the loo. I finish my drink in a gulp and make for the exit.

*stops you before you leave*
No.

Ay, bloddy woman, let him b-. The peasant then notices the bulge on that "woman"'s crotch. Nevermind, crops are callin me, bye. And so he leaves without a care in the world.

Ice water, please.

I couldn't help myself

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A glass of milk spiked with laudanum please!

give me a drink that will undoubtedly put me out of my misery

Okay, I think. This is it. I've been waiting for this moment, I've been preparing for it.

Worriedly, I shove my hand in my pocket and clench my penis.

Thank God. It's flaccid.

*walks away*

do you know how seeds propagate retard? animals were meant to consume plants

Sincerity is like the weapons-grade form of social nihilism that casts out the self as a whole before a crowd of swine that are not going to understand you, but you who should be knowing better makes this work.

That's why I come on Yea Forums, to feed!

cranberry juice

It was a shitpost, you fairy.
Where the fuck you came from?

worse* NOT work, it only works for me, who doesn't understand

One beer, please.
And leave the bottle.

As a vegetarian, I can't wait until elon musk invents battery packs we can insert into our body to give use energy making food obsolete.

Be insane, keep talking, fuck em.

Einstök White Ale for me

Oh and ill have a whiskey on ice

Shit, I’ll give it a look, why not.

I passed the test without a single throb of penile activity.

Looking at her broad-shouldered back as she walked away, I realised that coming here, whilst a small victory over the modern sexual fetishes of breast-laden men and penis-equipped women, was a mistake, and the Barman had seen me fondling my genitals through my trousers.

So all the while, as I walked outside, entered my car, and began to drive away, an intense red heat entered my cheeks. The shame. I swore I'd never post on Yea Forums ever again.

nice wacky bandana you retard

The Key To Everything sounds interesting as well

weak epigraph.

what's a panicpen?

reads like a film noir narrator is speaking it to me. not a bad thing. sort of funny, though, once I realized it. then I embraced it for shits and giggles.

what is frenic and why is a guy who can't talk using a word like that?

Thank you. I'm not here to advertise. I'll give anything I wrote away for free. Just ask me.

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panicpen: a device like a tazer, but causes a panic attack
frenic: schizophrenic.
The novel is written in a futuristic dialog, much like A Clockwork Orange. It takes about 150 years in the future

Also, the epigraph was actually said by FDR. I didn't write it. But it comes into play later

*takes place
I actually am drunk right now. I've been in this bar long enough. Though I will take another beer, Jeevsie

That is an aggressively ugly cover user

a picture I took in China
though I do prefer ugliness over beauty, as a writer. there's more honesty in it

Whiskey soda.

Shipping off to boot camp soon. I’m trying to write poetry before I leave, and it’s going okay. Also trying to read more, but I lack the concentration. At least I have a gf now.

If you value your anus, don't let anyone in training know that you write poetry.

let me get a pitcher and 1 glass please,can i smoke in here?

I'll just have some Yamazaki 18 on the rocks please

I’ll have a Sound and the Fury please

>goodreads.com/book/show/33987393-amino?ac=1&from_search=true
that's a hell of a review you've got there I'm giving this a peak user. that sounds pretty fucking cool

what is it your period?

Absinthe frappe pls

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I thought i was in love but I only loved imagined version of her not her. Give me vodka

Anything just give me something bartender

have a date with a girl i met right outside the library the other day
tall double mid shelf vodka with sprite and 4 limes

how about a blowjob

God I love this OP. I wanna be a lit bartender. Where do I apply?

watch the anime 'Bartender'

or go to bartending school, whichever works.

Guinness without a shamrock please.

Irish need not apply.

alright barman you got a youtube video you'd recommend for learning to annotate philosophy books?

if being a bartender is appealing to you, just know you are a creep weirdo. sorry for breaking it to you

Most people probably wouldn’t even notice you. As for those that do, drunks love company so you might not end up alone after all.

no point in going by yourself, at worst you might start to enjoy it and ruin your life. just find yourself a nice student cafe and waste your hours there.

all language makes use of iterated symbols and signs. meme-culture is the closest a lot of people can get to sincerity, and desu it functions as a bridge for those who want to find a language that is more authentic and true to their relationship with reality.

I am user, the Irishman,
full of hope and woe
With eyes without light,
hands without ethanol.

Browsing Yea Forums on my journey,
with the lustre of my heart
worn and tired,
until the end of my way.

Look at me now
my body to the bar,
reciting poetry
to an ungenerous bastard.

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It's not destroying nature if you grow those animals and plants on a farm for the exact purpose of eating them

Ah, to walk again upon the bloodstained ground, TO THE LAST MAN AND THE LAST ROUND.

you use nutrients and energy to grow things, brainlet

A daiquiri, please. Cherry bitters on top. Thanks.

Say, barman, do you happen to have a brother named Robert? Works at the local kino?

CAN I GET UUUUUHHHHH... ARAK

one chocolate milk please

i would like to drink some fucking book discussion

you came to the wrong place, nerd
>le wacky roleplay thread
cringing at your life rn my dude

English Breakfast tea, and a book about an alcoholic either getting sober or meeting a grisly end. I've already read The Green Man.

I gave up alcohol for lent. Its the longest Ive gone without drinking in years, and I want to follow at least 1 thing through to the end for once

Manhattan, with Jameson, of course

Nofap is never easy but it does get easier. But any exercise in control over one's bodily desires is a valuable and necessary for good virtue.

Just do yourself a favor and don’t be one of those guys who rushes into things with the girl right before you leave for the army. Keep it cas my friend.

Vodka and soda, please. Trying to cut those calories, harharharhar.

Laphroaig 10, neat.

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I'll take a gunfire - black tea and rum.
Read anything good lately?

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Keep the photo change the colors

One time I went to a speakeasy-style bar, sat in the far back corner, and read a book for 3 hours nursing 2 drinks. Just do it you poser faggot, why care so much about your fragile little ego? Grow a set of nads.

The problem doesn't come from consumption but from excessive methods of breeding. Same thing with with agriculture, you can do it until the ends of times if you do it right but if you rape it with onions non stop for economic reasons then you are fucking it up.

Bourbon, neat, with a pint of best bitter...

Yissir, a wee Guinness would be good

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Water straight from the tap please. Only losers are boozers.

Ale, please

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have fun drinkin fluoride and getting the gay

cheap bastard, get out of my pub

double whiskey, no mixer

pls

Where'd the Materialist toadies thread go?

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For some time I’ve been having some problems focusing . Not a bad thing is more of vision.
Let me explain back in sep 2018 I started meditation for some reason I started having this visions, and numbers that keeps piping out at me so I started wringing them dawn, feels like a computer always running numbers some times they get hard to Focus on why?
a^5 +b^5 + c^5 = d^5!
Much more like this is all day
Some number I look up are I’m just gonna say WTF
Some even coordinates
Why ?
You can think what you want this is noon stop for me just looking for
Answers .

Uh ok

I think he means the color scheme.

saw this in the bathroom. what does it mean?

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tfw no gf isnt ironic

I want my midwest craft meme beers. Got any Bells?

Vodka, leave the bottle and leave me.

2 Pils

>bring book to the bar
>wait for someone to notice my interesting book and strike up conversation
>get drunk alone again and can't read anymore
haha hey guys

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>*been sitting a couple of stools away from you the entire time*
>I know what it feels like to be made of glass

>using a book as a social accessory
>bringing a book to a bar
>drinking while reading
Its your own fault

Buy local. Drive 15-20 miles away from the shithole city you probably live in and visit a farm market. They're fucking everywhere as long as you're not a LA or NY cuck. Eat whatever the fuck they have for sale because that's in season and probably not exploiting retarded Brazilians

Give me the first drink that comes to your mind. It'll taste better than my favorite along with a conversation.

I'll take a Negroni. My friend will hand a sangria. I expected Yea Forums to have better taste in drinks.

A death in the afternoon, please.
As in I want to die.

Read so much but still no one to talk to about it

Can I see your food menu

coffee

Double shot of Elmer T Lee. And if I see water or ice in that glass with my bourbon I’m going to beat you until there’s bones in your stool

Yessir. We have peanuts, pickled pigs feet and vegan queer patties

Can I have an uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Irish coffee with some uhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm meat?

What drink would you recommend for someone reading Infinite Jest?

wild turkey please, i would really really like to kill myself

bleach

F A G G O T
A
G
G
O
T

I'll have two whisky sours, also kill me

I'm back Butterfly :3.

I always get banned for posting that sexual shit. please post tonight!!!

the first drink that comes to mind is an irish carbomb. why don't you go out to the parking lot and make sure your ride starts up ok? this weather has a lot of folks' cars acting up. we can talk if- i mean when you come back

wild turkey, just as Himself would drink

based

Oh no thanks, I'm good on the drinking desu. I'm just on my phone pretending like I have some better shit to do bc it's boring as fuck in this bar lmoa. I hope you get paid well for the bullshit you have to deal with nightly, especially from the guys that don't have their shit together.

Edit: words
Edit 2: without autocorrect, I'd be unintelligible
Edit 3: Thanks for the Gold, kind stranger!

I chuckled.

>first post literally best post

consider sincerely hanging yourself bandana man

I regret becoming a teacher. I wanna get my masters in public admin and get a desk job

Was thinking about becoming a teacher myself. What do you dislike about it?

A tall glass of I don't think my gf loves me anymore

I went through the program so and but and but so I'll have a glass of water

Seems interesting, I'll definitely read it after I've finished a few other books I have lined up.

wtf was his problem?

All good, I’m a big dude so most people are surprised when they find out I like this shit.
Noted. I told her that it’ll be hard and if she breaks it off that I’ll understand. We’ll see how it goes while I’m in boot.

kek based

gonna give it a purchase and a read user. congrats on the reviews, best of luck to you

just bought both of your books user. looking forward to when you become famous and i get to sniff my own farts and say "i remember when nobody appreciated his talent!!!!!"

based and checked. barkeep, i'll have the same

double shot of Elmer Fudd. and if i see water or ice in that glass with my bourbon i'm going to bear your meat until there's cummies in my mouth

I'LL HAVE TWO NUMBER NINES
A NUMBER NINE LARGE
A NUMBER SIX WITH EXTRA DIP
A NUMBER SEVEN
TWO NUMBER FORTY-FIVES. ONE WITH CHEESE
AND A LARGE SODA

I.... I think you've done it. You've said the only thing that would get you kicked out of a fucking bar.

Good job Yea Forums. :3

I'll have a gin and tonic with thyme and wild strawberries in a wine glass, heavy on the ice

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life is quite good, though i wish i could make a vow of silence for 10 days, visit another city and spend hours upon hours walking, reading, watching things off my kino list, drawing stuff, all without saying or typing a word.
just pour me some tap water and lace it with 2cb.

The rich are not human

based

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