Tell me, after starting down the path of philosophy. has anything changed? do you think differently...

Well, I think in terms of the philosophy i know. I live very abstractly due to it.

I'm not as angry anymore.
I am starting to man up to my own mistakes, instead of blaming them on certain circumstances that were out of my control.

sadly i am still a lazy fuck and am unable to change as quickly as i would like.

Ligotti at the start, he made references to schopenhauer and zapfe so one thing leads to another and now im here.

No. Living in Belgium/legalizing euthanasia globally is the only solution.

Yes. Keep looking, you're in the right direction.

made me think too much like ive become disassociated and people used to comment about the thousand mile stare i have but they are used to it by now. its not good to think too much because one lives in the present and future is blind. I actively try to appreciate and cherish my existence but its tiring. For one example I got a girlfriend and i used to get glee when i saw her face. now i dont feel like i have a gf at all. even worse, shes become subverted in my mind where when i look at her sometimes i want to look away.

I've been right there with you my friend. I have a wife and a daughter and sometimes I felt like I was still a single douchebag living in a trailer in the woods because I wasn't present a lot of the time. You have to bulldog yourself into appreciating the moment and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. I've been actively forcing myself at least once a day to shut everything off and physically engage with my family. I pick my kid up a twirl her around, I hold my wife's hand when we talk, stuff like that. The connection has really helped me, and I feel like I'm at a solid 50/50 right now, which is almost where I want to be. You'll always be a dreamer user, but sometimes we have to wake up and appreciate the life around us. Otherwise we're just husks living in our own minds. Good luck my dude.

thanks mate. i try to appreciate the present by taking photos with my phone. the beautiful sky, the birds and the gentle smile of my old dog when she is sleeping. really appreciate it!

I didn't know how to be. I had totally unnecessary hatred that somehow I had been indoctrinated into. I used to say foolish and cringy things. I rejected facts when they were inconvenient or ugly. I had also once lived somewhat hedonistically if I'm using that word correctly; I'd eat, hydrate, get completely drunk, play videogames, watch movies/YouTube, go to sleep, and I'd later wake up all over again. I generally bathed only when I had to see the shrink I had assigned to me because of some legal issues I got into (so like every 2 weeks or so), and typically when I made trips to the liquor store I probably just flicked some deodorant on my pits.

For basically a solid 35-36 months I was drunk almost daily. Had no real prospects in my life except perhaps Military someday. I had lived in homeless shelters too. I did not have good parenting, no guidance whatsoever except basically feminism and being mocked/ridiculed if I made a mistake. Also had advances made towards me by a man when I was, like... 6 or something like that. Grew up poor, in fact I'm still poor though there was a time when I had 5-figures in my bank account, and the first digit wasn't a 1. That time of wealth was almost a decade ago.

I've always basically considered myself a Christian, more-or-less, though always non-religious. Well, that's changed. Through my rediscovery (perhaps born-again?) of Christ and also (I realize I'm going to get railed for this but none the less it's truth) Dr. Jordan Peterson. I'm taking on responsibilities and I am ready and able to take on more, in fact some potentially major things happened recently but I won't go into it. Scary, could be nothing, but could potentially be the start of something big. Could also be the start of something big that ultimately ends up as a big failure and a waste of a lot of time. Anyhow, forget that nonsense. I'm taking more pride in my appearance, paying attention to what I'm saying and doing my best to follow truth, I'm still an alcoholic but I'm making money from what talents I have an I'm improving on them. I've gotten into entrepreneurship which I think is being helped a lot by this new and free thinking that is fueled by truth. Even if the truth is ugly, it must be observed, confirmed as truth if possible, and so welcome it into your cognition of the place we find ourselves in. This strange reality... and perhaps the very best timeline. Yeah, sure, I suffered to some degree but things have gotten so much better and things just... they keep bloody getting better! Yeah I have fear, but I also have this great mass of enthusiasm in me. We can make our lives incredible if we just start adopting responsibility!

Not gonna lie though, my room is a mess... but that's partly due to the unfortunate nature of my living conditions, which I'm happy to report is neither in a basement nor am I inflicting great shame on myself by occupying a room that family owns. I live on about $1000-1100 USD per month or so.

My life

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>(I realize I'm going to get railed for this but none the less it's truth) Dr. Jordan Peterson.
Fuck that, do your thing you magnificent fucking bastard. Get off the sauce though, seriously. Ramp down if you can but if you see you can't just cut the shit entirely and fight through the withdrawals. It's scary as fuck but man once you break through that wall and come out the other side, once you KNOW that you don't need SHIT to be normal and happy? It's the fucking bee's knees my dude.

t.also an alcoholic (been sober for 6 years now)

Yes
My view of the world changed for the worse but in spite of this my life changed for the best
I found a gf, have objectives in life, read as much as when I was 15, stray a little bit further from depression every day, finally start to be successful again in my studies
I'm gonna make it and philosophy helped

I've forgotten 90% of it anyway

same for me on every point.

Thanks for the perspective. Honestly I'm still enjoying alcohol way too much to give up and I'm not yet 30 so I still have the advantage of a fresh body that can take abuse, though of course with modern medicine the 30s ought to be pretty good too but if I drink like this right through to 40... yeah... I'll be looking at an early grave for sure. Anyhow, I do keep it in some degree of moderation. Admittedly I had drank 14 times in February it seems, basically every-other-day, but it's a fuckload better than every single day or very close to it. Also there's been times when I'd have 3-4 days of sobriety though 4 is very rare. It always feels so satisfying though in the few occasions that it happened when I'd be sober from Monday to Thursday and then on Friday just get wasted. It's like... fuck yeah... it's almost like I'm normal and not an alcoholic.

Anyhow, while alcoholism does have a grip on me, it's not a total life-crushing grip. Sometimes it's even more like a warm hug even though I realize that it still has a knife in its hand, even if at the moment it's not pointed at my back. With the whole 'future authoring program' thing, I did buy it, and I've done elements of it but ultimately I mostly just think about the concept and do it in my head instead of writing it down, though I HAVE actually sat down with pencil and paper if I'm not mistaken and just wrote about how things could go to utter shit, and also, the ideal future I'd like to work towards. Alcoholism is definitely in that conceptual Hell.

Also a lot of the drinking in February were out of celebration for very real and tangible things. Met some mile-stones I've been eyeing for a couple years, made some good money, did some awesome things I hadn't even been planning to do but the opportunity had presented itself and so I went for it... I swear, it's tough and it's taking a long time, but I think I'm getting out of my position at zero and climbing bit-by-bit along the Pareto Distribution, that brutal Matthew Principle. Things could get radically better at an incredible pace, it's already happening to so many people in the US. Unemployment so low, lots of people working, getting an education, with various parts of the West rejecting the blatantly Cultural Marxist courses like Gender Studies or whatever...

There's been decade after decade of left-wing cultural victories, but I think a return to traditional values may be coming about. The state of families in the West today is tragic, I've already told of some of the failings of mine... I have hope, and it isn't blind.

Yes. Reading Stirner was a big help too. No meme.

Life hasn't really improved though as you really see the bullshit. I also became an anarchist. Fun stuff, but mentally exhausting.

We're all gonna make it friends

"One day at a time," is no joke man, that's all you can do. It gets easier, but there's still times when I crave getting shitfaced so bad I can taste the whiskey. Celebrate those victories and see if you can focus on keeping a schedule. If you want to stay sober Monday-Thursday, then limit yourself to drinking on the weekends. Don't be a slave to "feeling good", is all I can say. That's the first true hurdle.

But it sounds like your shits on the uptick, and if it's not affecting your day to day then fuck it, keep doing what you're doing and get to where you want to be. Fucking shine on you crazy diamond.

Lovely words, wicked stuff, and congrats on the 6 years. Shows strength and determination. God bless, thanks, and I hope things are going well for you too.

I can't put philosophy apart from other humanities like (good) sociology or psychology, or history of thought, and I can't write a good english but,

I'm even less a cultural christian, thanks to greeks and latins and nietzsche. Didn't became neopagan larper.

I have more abstract point of views or options. This in not really valuable. I forgot a lot too.

"it's good to do phioosophy sometimes, buy not at all times" Sextus Ennius, neoplotemus

I'm politically more or less a skeptic and a relativist, thus I'm very not an extremist. Nobody is plain right, nobody is plain false. Not being dogmatic, reading what you think are you enemies, being changed by the best of them is better than being radicalized or butthurt by the stupidest ones.

Then there are pseud points, hacks and 2000yo debates, and it's sometimes litteraly esoteric (wrote in obscure manner for looking edgy) books