I recently discovered I had schizophrenia after taking acid and not coming down until a year later when I was forcibly hospitalized after an arrest and compelled to take psychiatric medication. Mundane life seems so pale in comparison to the flordiness of hallucinations and the suggestions of the seemingly divine. I wish to relive such. Also willing to answer questions I suppose. Had a huge journal I wrote in but burned it all in a suicide attempt after recovery and the realization that I would be on intellect stultifying medicine for the rest of my life...
Schizophrenics are retards m8. You probably aren't Joyce or anything like that but that guy on the bus who pisses himself and tries to hit on girls. Take your medicine and become normal like the rest of them.
Jeremiah Edwards
Are you looking for dark shit or just general neurosis
Jeremiah Ross
I am interested in religion. I am a student of philosophy. I come from a slightly religious background, Catholic to be precise. I briefly felt as though some mixture of Christ, Antichrist, Buddha, and Socrates though I distance myself from such thoughts now... I nevertheless still find some virtue in notions of occult causality such as synchronicity and hyperstition.
Alexander Gray
The world is retarded m8. Wageslaving and watching the planet die while playing identity politics and waiting for the next Marvel movie is boring compared to living outside society and pissing yourself and hitting on girls on buses. Both.
Bentley Peterson
what's the point...? It's none of their business whether religious or not
Benjamin Mitchell
>retard can't find anything between pooping his pants and chugging so y
Luis Price
uhhh I disagree I'd stay off psychs and anything intellectual desu. Maybe live in a rural climate like workaway.com or something, a month in the countryside can be incredibly sobering. It's like everything returns to zero values and you don't need to think so heavily about the isolated narrative you've grown into, because there's nothing for it, but I'd guess it's overwhelmed you in the past. Idk the Hebrews chanted, the Indians did yoga, both work
Noah Hernandez
>retard doesn't realize everyone poops
Aiden Ortiz
i don't
James Brooks
I am off psychs. Kant stand to stay away from the intellectual stuff tho. Tried for a while but was unable to resist. I like to think I am a little more critical of delusions and egotism both in myself and my literature. Speaking of which, no recommendations?
Nathan Scott
>critical of delusions
You can try to reason away fears, but fears wiill only tell you you'vre reasoned incorrectly. Your sleeping will probably suffer my man, do you have a stable job? Or stable family? These both are examples of anchor points for which you could try to hold onto if you're going to go brain diving.
Aiden Powell
Even Nietzsche said the best philosophy promotes good sleep in Zarathustra
I'm schizo too and Ideally I want to write something which truly captures the feel of being insane and seeing/hearing shit. This stuff needs to be shared
With My Dog Eyes by Hilda Hilst. The protagonist is not as lucid as de Nerval and his descent is mostly implied. It's a dreamy, almost incoherent prose poem the size of novella.
The Walk by Robert Walser. A bit of derealization, a bit of depression, mostly sweet melancholy from a man who felt out of this world.
The Blind Owl by Sadegh Hedayat. Lucid in its ardent madness, amazing night imagery.
Bartleby the Scrivener. I dare not quip anything about this.
The surrealists seem sometimes like going mad, though theirs is a rather programmatic, conscious effort to allow themselves to sink into the inner abyss.
Diary of a Madman by Gogol for a funny take; or rather funnily desperate, like most of what Gogol wrote.
I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting a lot of great stuff out there. Hopefully some other user will pick up.
Benjamin Bell
Molloy Dies is also a great schizo-core.
Dylan Allen
Gravity's Rainbow
John Parker
I am of the opinion that reading works that directly relate to something (in a non-scientific purpose manner ofc) is less effective at evoking the actual desired sense than reading something only perhaps indirectly related or not at all. Therefore if you are looking for tales on insanity or shizo mindsets, do not look for the novels that most characterize such but look at something like von Kleist's stories; the dull mind will not see the inner machinations of the characters as more than what they on the surface appear, you should though. If you are schizo you don't need to emulate it, and reading about something you know seems trivial and not novel. You will find the insanity in the most mundane actions and behaviors.
In reference to this, Op should read (or watch) Equus.
Jeremiah Phillips
Or The Unnameable, I guess. I mean I've no idea what's going on there, but it sure sounds crazy.
Michael Long
>I had schizophrenia after taking acid and not coming down until a year later What do you mean by not coming down for a year? Were you aware you may be shizo inclined beforehand?
Jacob Murphy
I'm in a similar situation but I'm a subsyndromal psychotic. I've had my episodes but it's isolation or weed that triggers it. It feels nice to have someone say this, I relate so much. As for schizophrenic themes I find that Artaud's To do with the Judgement of God is akin to my psychosis. It just makes such obvious sense to me.
Reading (and writing) are psychotic experiences for me tho so really reading anything will make my mind whirl. Deleuze is easiest for this though.
Psychosis makes the day-to-day profound, I'm so lucky to have it but also control it....
I suggest increasing your antipsychotic dosage like I do and then going cold turkey. It's so fun.
Elijah Smith
For how long do you increase it and for how long do you go without?
Robert Baker
About 2 weeks increasing but I only go up to about 2x my dosage. Then I spend about 2 days nonmedicated. I can get suicidal during this time but every time I do it again I dismiss how i felt the last time
James Jenkins
The problem with schizos is they get obsessed over these seemingly profound ideas that are actually just scribbles on loose leaf about the multi-level theme park they want to build or some ridiculous concept that is novel in a way that nobody wants or cares for.
Charles Reyes
Their story only makes sense according to their own personal narrative, it doesn't have anything to do with much else. The point of individualism (and individualism is an ugly word honestly) isn't being only for yourself, it's to become an individual within a collective, or to have a "big personality," through voids and struggling with them, the positive acceptance through recognition by others in a functional/cultural context being at least one goal
Hunter Hall
Flann O'Brien Cezanne's Doubt, Merlau-Ponty
Ones that helped me personally but not related directly to insanity: Tao te Ching Collected Writings of John Muir
Robert Gonzalez
>Mundane life seems so pale in comparison to the flordiness of hallucinations >Psychosis makes the day-to-day profound
Is this how it is for most psychotic people? They're actively drawn to their own malformed thought processes?
Chase Smith
>tfw acid always comes down
Nathan Scott
Why dont u?
Cameron Hill
im trying user, i didnt start reading Yea Forums seriously until last year.
David Allen
no these people are just edgy
I'd give anything to be normal
Easton Cooper
one flew over the cuckoo's nest
Dominic Martinez
Coming to the realization that our society is sentient, trying to reach an end without having any grasp on what that end is. Realizing that left/right wing politics are meaningless jabs that ignore the restriction of freedom that is being set upon us, in a subtle way that few will even recognize. That Ted was right, we are being enslaved by the very technology that we built to serve us. That unseen entities control out beliefs in such a way that we know too little to criticize them. The "values" that we believe in either have no real bearing on reality, or they don't even exist, either way being productions not of us, but of others. What little originality we have is ignored in favor of groupthink and mob mentality. We seek to push back against chaos, when that chaos is the only thing that preserves us. The academics over analyze to the point of resound agreement in transparent principles. We look in the details instead of looking at the bigger picture. We are in endgame, and only sacrifice will give us the agency we require.
Jaxson Cruz
AND SHRIVEL UP LIKE THOSE KIDS??????
Isaiah Baker
I'm It's taking me a long time to get where I am in psychosis. Before finding enjoyment in it I literally thought I was in hell and thought that god put me in prison and some other crazy shit. I thought that everyone knew I was a pervert.
I'd rather not have it, but in the sad state of my life it's something I cling to to make sense of the world.
