Book redflags

>The main character is a cop, detective or a writer

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>the author is female

majority of the first chapter focuses on how experinced and well educated the author is in a field the book points to

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The first sentence of the book contains the book's title.

>book is by a white person about Eastern mysticism, likely in very simple language
>book is about a writer, professor, or other academic having an affair with a beautiful young student
>book begins with someone waking up and going through their typical morning routine

Here's one--anything that co-opts a subculture for a mass market audience, whether it be religion without actually being religious literature (Da Vinci Code), science fiction/video games without actually being science fiction/video games (Ready Player One), or even degeneracy without actually being part of that subculture (50 Shades trilogy). As you can see, this covers a VERY wide net of books, and they are ALL terrible.

>title includes "Book (n) in the Chronicles of"
>title includes any of these words:
>crystal
>singer
>dancer

>tour-de-force
lmfao

>the writer uses a small sentence for the introduction
>jokes in the first chapter
>boring names like James Dean

>First page has a character saying 'hi!'

Was about to post this myself.

>main character is a cop, detective or a writer
That's a red flag? It encompasses like half the modern western canon.

I feel this

Have you considered that you might hate diversity in society as much as you hate fun

Main character is having sex

>character lives a dull life and has no prospects for the future
>until this woman comes into his life

The second and third one. Christ almighty, how do serious authors keep getting away with it?

>that second one
>that third one
lmao, literally every book by Vynnychuk.

>non fiction book and the author uses a dr. title
This always means that the author has no qualifications in the field the book is about and is using his title in an unrelated field to trick you into believing him an expert.

Oops meant to the op

anything YA

>Diversity™

shut the fuck up you retarded tranny

this

This is incredibly true. Here in Brazil these fuckheads are so deceitful that they even put "P.h.D." before their names. The plot twist is that in Brazil this is a non-existent title. They do it for the exoticism and "erudition" of the title. A bunch of hacks.

>protag is a "middle aged English professor at a small-sized provincial University"

Dropped.

>author is a nigger
>New York Times best seller
>"a tour de force"

>author isn't a woman
No reason to read it

Stoner is good desu ne wa ching chong

>set in London and written by a non-English person
>"diverse" author
>kickass heroine
>blurb doesn't say what book is about
>debut author but getting rave reviews by shitty best-selling authors
>"for fans of Station Eleven" or any other overhyped shit-tier novel.

Profligate trash

>It's like X meets Y
>A diverse take on X
>An X story for the modern age

Just tell me it's shit and stop lying to me.

>new york times bestseller

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>The main character looks in a mirror and the narrator proceeds to describe what they are wearing and what they look like

Does it work ? I'll soon have a PhD in mathematics, might as well make it count.

Have you considered reddit?

>book has a main character
Yep, that will be one yikes from me

So you just don't like noirs?

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>The main character is a cop, detective and a writer
Intrigued.

>author has a twitter account

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Someone needs to do a deconstruction or subversion of the second one, like a farce about a professor who is teaching on the Memoirs of Casanova, Don Quixote style

Name three

Three

>I'll soon have a PhD in mathematics
very nice, what's your field?

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>book has a plot

Virginia Woolf, Lionel Shriver, and Daphne Du’Maurier are the only women whose writings are worthwhile.

.. not!

I once read a small 80s paperback that was left in a hostel I was staying in; it was about a lawyer who didn't seem to do much work, and was instead more of a detective. It was written by an ex-lawyer and it was fucking awful. Only a lawyer could have produced something so laborious to read. Descriptions of minor side-characters and meals would go on for pages. I never finished it.
Long story short, if the main character is just a fantasy insert for the author, the book is normally bad. You have to read a bit of the book to sense it though so it's not a very good red-flag, and my post is a waste of time just like that battered paperback was.

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>novel written by a lawyer
Were the paragraphs numbered.

CHAPTER SEVEN
SECTION ONE
SUBSECTION ONE

I, Laywer Protagonist, do solemnly make oath and swear as follows.

1. My place of residence is 420 Pack Street, Dandelong

2. On the morning of 17 Feburary 2019 I woke up in the master bedroom of my residence.

3. Love Interest was also in the bed.

4. Love Interest was asleep at this time.

5. Shortly after waking up, but not immediately, I placed my right hand on Love Interest's right shoulder.

6. I squeezed Love Interest's shoulder with my right hand.

7. Love Interest woke up.

8. I asked Love Interest if she would like to "go again" or words to that effect.

9. Love Interest expressed that she would like to "go again."

10. Love Interest rolled onto her back and I moved to straddle her.

11. I placed my penis inside her vagina.

12. My penis was erect at this point.

13. I repeatedly thrust into her vagina.

14. After two to three minutes I announced to her that I was "close" and about to "come."

15. I ejaculated inside Love Interest's vagina.

16. At no point did Love Interest express that she did not consent to sexual intercourse.

17. At no point did I believe that the intercourse was not consensual.

If it were shorter and written like that I may have actually read it

>author's name is more prominent/bigger than the title

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I only have three. Female or minority author, female characters that act like men, and notes about gender pronoun usage in the preface/introduction.

"Diversity" in fiction is not remotely the same thing as "diversity" in real life.

Diversity in literature consists of minorities willing to be good SJW pets.

>author didn't commit suicide or die suspiciously

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>dialogue without quotation marks and instead that fucking dash

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>author didn't live an interesting life

Middle aged proffesors having affairs with hot students are basically the sonichu of literature try to prove me wrong

>book written in Spanish
>instead of the gendered "a" or "o" the author uses "x"s.
Latinxs should go the grammar Auschwitz.

>depressed college student protagonist
>description of main character empathizes how plain they are; not ugly, not pretty either
>writer tries to make a scene reminiscent of a visual media rather than a written one

>has pop culture reference

If it's well written the subject doesn't matter.

THIS

9/10 bait
people will still respond