Read this. Still a social retard

how do i pretend to be confident, goy? especially if im suffering from imposter syndrome?

Kek

You need to learn the art of bantering and shit talking. These make up 90% of the conversations at most male dominated workplaces.

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Oy vey! How do i start?

what if your workplace is dominated by numales that check their privilege on every occasion?

The wife needs beatings. Americans are all loud-mouthed braggarts whom worship Mammon.

I don't know, I have social anxiety or some shit like that. The days I feel good happen when I "don't care" or feel good about myself.

Find a new place to work

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Me too brother... me too.

work a job with a manual labor component. it is like numale repellent.

How?

Whenever I try banter, I'm either at a loss of things to say, or I say nuclear bomb level shit. How do you even get into that headspace? I feel like you have to be a judgmental prick to even start bantering.

Disparaging racial minorities is a good start.

That would probably be nuclear bomb level shit.

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>muh syndrome

>Coworker comes to work with a new haircut
*look of mock disgust* "Geez, I hope they didn't charge you for that haircut"

>Coworker makes a pot of coffee and you have a cup
"Good thing you already have a job here. You wouldn't last a single shift at starbucks with your coffee skills"

>Coworker brings his kid to work
"Hey it looks like the ugly gene skipped a generation"

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my coworkers would be pretty pissed about any of these.

>saying any of those IRL
ISHYGDDT

Now that I think about it, I bants a lot with close friends. But it just comes naturally and we never take it too far. Dunno how to bants with people that I've just met. Even these would probably be too much.

this, mystery method changed my life unironically. i don't think i took any of his actual advice but learning the general principles behind it unlocked some hidden powers in my brain.

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Bless this post.

can anyone give me a quick rundown on these?

you're doomed if you want to live life through short-cuts.

Pee yourself

Watch the barbershop scene in grand torino

I have. Now what? It seems like you have to be actively searching for faults in people in order to have anything to bantz about.

it becomes motor memory the more you do it. you have a dig ready for everyone at all times.

that sounds like no way to live

That or just make constant comments on everything, even on things that are completely inane.
>Oh look, George is wearing blue shoes
Stating the obvious, is also a surefire way of starting a conversation.
> *outside* Oh, it's raining
Basically, just imagine yourself with a lower IQ and flap your mouth.

Based. I sometimes think it would be nice to be a likable dummy like in Of mice and men

the whole point which you should have noticed by now, and I'm paraphrasing but as Faulkner said about Holden Caulfield is that "Holden was trying to find life in adult america and he couldn't find it, because it wasn't there".

Thanks for the suggestions. I can't get away from it, and it would hurt to not have the skill, so I guess I'll practice it and develop a mindset that won't cause me to actively loathe myself when I do it.

yeah, make sure you have the charisma, good looks and confidence first, otherwise people will find you cringy and annoying

As a rule of thumb try to be more interested in the other person than yourself. Ask him/her things, questions where you can't just say yes or no. People love talking about themselves. It's difficult at first but eventually you will get better. Otherwise just be honest but not a dick.

First and foremost I'd advise looking into books about character from the 19/20th century. These books aren't meant to teach you how to be the coolest guy in school, just likeable. Once you're polite you can start gradually introducing more socially manoeuvrable techniques.
Don't underestimate people, without the crucial gentlemanly foundation people will immediately see through your bullshit and cut all lines into their social lives.
Conversely if you are too perfect, people will be questioning why you appear to be flawless, don't self-deprecate, merely allude every now and then that you don't either understand or observe something publicly about your character honestly without being too critical.
Most of all, don't follow any routines. Routines are for 1st class frauds and are insanely hard to pull off if you're not a 1% natural schmoozer. Chances are you're not. Simply build up a repertoire of looking "together", this doesn't mean perfect or a certain fashion, but consistent in your person.
(Most people would call this consistency, honesty.)

In the back of Tools Of Titans there's a bunch of books that people have recommended. Half of it is just Jews side-tracking and celebrities virtue signalling but the WASP and more conservative artists have some stellar recommendations. The large portion of the book is merely bullet-points of good advice for entrepreneurs. How To Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes is particularly good.
Honestly, like with most things, books with actually useful information are never going to be "allowed" to be bestsellers so you really have to look.

Is that because you come to realise how shit having a job is, and that whenever you have the option between wasting 8 hours 5-6 days a week working because that's what socety told you was honourable, and receiving neetbux while having a fulfilling life where you can engage all your interests, you should pick the neetbux, unless it's a rare job that you genuinely enjoy doing or one that pays a lot of money?

won't some people find that creepy tho?

Just say "don't worry, I'm not a creep or anything" after asking them a question

genius!

Great one. Chuckled.

Eh, not really. Have you ever found someone creepy because he asked you a question about yourself? Of course you don't ask about their favorite fetishes or hentai artists at first but generally people are just happy if they get talk about something they care about.

Exactly, every time after I act like I'm interested in someone I end up finding they called me creepy or gossiper.

>all these newfags
This place really has been colonised

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everyone has "imposter syndrome"

You disgust me

i get my social skills by learning from shows like billions and house of cards.

end every sentence with "swear on me foken nan, lad". people will find you relatable and want to hang out with you.

It's not low-IQ you retards, it's social competence and basically how all conversations not with family work outside of the West. It's giving set ups for others to use and give you set ups in return, to get converse and get info in a way that does not cause conflict or bad feelings.

I will tell you why you fucking chan niggers fail at becoming socially competent. In order to become socially competent, you must actually go outside and socialize. You can't get good at football by reading a book written by ronaldo.

>You can't get good at football by reading a book written by ronaldo.

A great analogy.

>In order to become socially competent, you must actually go outside and socialize.
And yet to socialize one needs to already be somewhat socially competent.
Ironic.

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What's going to happen is you are gonna fuck up and make yourself look like a fucking retard. It's something you are gonna have to accept if you wanna improve.

You want to know the truth of it? All of human beings are controlled by desire.
To form a relationship with another human being means to be a slave and fulfill their desires.
There are many types of desires. Biological, psychological, social, economic, etc.

Once more, the ethical thing to do would be to have compassion. Not for any reward. But because its the right thing to do.

>because its the right thing to do
How so?

Nothing wrong with a reciprocal relationship where both people get what they want.
Hell, that's like the foundation of Western civilization.

looking like a retard is social suicide

You learn to play the role of retard then. I once knew a guy who did nothing but set up other people's jokes. He was always willing to play the stooge. The thing was... HE CONTROLLED the fact he was the stooge and made it obvious to everyone else. People genuinely liked having him around since it was obvious that he didn't take himself too seriously and therefore he was cool.

>embracing the role of the court jester
fuck off, you know exactly these people immediately face resistance when they try to be genuine/serious for once

>wanting to have serious conversations with coworkers

You almost had me user. ALMOST

>just become a clown dude
>like just lose all self-respect and pride in the pursuit of social acceptance
>maybe then the people you dislike and can't relate to will find you mildly amusing
>maybe they'll throw the dancing monkey some bananas

being the dancing monkey is better than being the outcast

unironically just bee urself
people will say this is terrible advice because it doesn't work but they're simply missing the point
It's not about being accepted by other people it's only about accepting yourself through being yourself
You learn to accept yourself and you don't need to be accepted by others anymore which is good because you never will be anyway which is why you shouldn't try
Everything else that should come will come naturally in accordance with your true self

>being raped is better than being killed

>Read a lot
>Barely mediocre writer

Why bros? Why?

Why would reading make you a good writer?
I watch a lot of movies, do I even have the most basic understand/ capability to fucking make one?

Hey user, can you please suggest us some other self-help books that you found helpful?

Read the fucking book.

>Write a lot
>Barely mediocre reader

I feel alone in my struggle

HONK

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There are very few helpful books. Here is one.

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>Just say "don't worry, I'm not a creep or anything" after asking them a question
THIS. Then wink at them and lick your lips.

Only in that context, dumb ass. Go on to the next context and learn from your mistakes.

>i have no social skills

Maybe ask why?

Is it you have social anxiety?
Do you just not know what to talk about?
You are bored?
You cant find the words to respond with?
You cant find common ground?

Tbh, people who have social anxiety are just selfish. Its alll about me me me. Your social skills are retarded because you are wrapped up in your own head thinking about yourself, instead of LISTENING.

You probably hate talking to people because you think they are boring, right? Because i mean look at you, you are so interesting yourself!
Nah, fucker, everyone is interesting. Instead of judging people for whatever fuck reason you have, be curious about how people think and the reason they do things. BE CURIOUS.

You dont have to like people, but how will you get to know someone without even giving them a chance. Fucking faggots.

Tease people and have snappy comebacks

>receiving neetbux while having a fulfilling life

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Actually a powerful move for getting on the good side of the proles, but in moderation not every sentence you madman

>read book about weight lifting
>still skinny

You still have to go out and train your social skills a book won't just fix it

>i look at paintings a lot why am i bad at drawing

Thanks, I'll check it out.

Keep Calm and Spend More Time Raping Pigs to Death