>woke up >browse internet and eat some junk food >go outside for a long walk while listening to podcasts I don't really care about >walked around some nice places and thought that it would be nicer to walk around in summer as a non-fat person, with more money in the bank, and with an ability to do meaningful work in my free time >drive around and become demoralised at seeing all the qts and two GigaStaceys >plan to maybe walk around some more, have One Last Binge at either McDonalds or KFC, go home and read, maybe go to the gym at night, and watch qt with /pol/ in the evening
I feel bitter about being such an ugly loser. It feels even worse to think of my past self than my present self because my past self was younger and in university / school / various jobs and his hope was pointless.
I plan to finish the book I'm reading now but to read about 10 really pseudy books for the pseud cred. I doubt I'll enjoy them. I tried to make a list of them right now but I deleted it a few seconds later because I don't want to live under the tyranny of a spook and it's a lie to think that the all encompassing guilt about everything I do or don't do can ever be stopped.
I downloaded the Elon musk biography on to my phone and I'm skimming through it sometimes. Everyone works on such pointless shit compared to him. The sheer banality of everybody's lives compared to him or Jeff Bezos is depressing. Imagine being some Assistant Retail Administrator in Pawtucket, Georgia or something, and spending your working day doing pointless shit and not even having a mansion to go home to. This is partly why I do nothing: it's better than pointless work.
Being an ugly beta in 2019 truly makes me a third class citizen.
>woke up >skipped breakfast >went to a job interview >absolutely ridiculous parking costs >not nervous at all >have a conversation with two nerdy guys >can see the scepticism in their eyes >just go through the motions because I don't need the job anyway >go grocery shopping on my way home >get home >waste the rest of my day inside >listen to podcasts while I clean and make food >vainly try to write a shitty game but keep changing my mind about what to make >go to bed having done almost nothing with my day
it was ok I guess at least I'm not a fat paki or a UK resident
