Character orders whiskey

>character orders water
>"Oh I don't drink"

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>one red dribbling pussy, neat

>character shows up to work wasted
>goes out to his car during breaks to gulp vodka

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>character walks into bar
>takes seat, glances around nervously
>begins fidgeting on phone and acting busy
>bartender approaches
>"I'll uh, have a beer"
>bartender replies "What?"
>guy pretends to take call and walks out
>doesn't come back
Literally happened last weekend

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You will never amount to anything :)

It didn't happen to me

That guy you were talking about will never amount to anything :)

>I’ll take a “big black cock” thanks
>and my friend here will have a “sloppy cumshot in a wet pussy”

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Ouch

Have you never been to a bar fren?

>Guy goes into Greek bar
>Gimme a beer
>Three hours later...
>Here’s your beer

>character smashes it on the floor and shouts OPA

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People that mix whiskey with anything (except MAYBE Cola if they need to get drunk in Spring Break) deserve the rope

>Gimme a whiskey
>what kind?
>uuuhhhhhhhh......

>making whiskey cold

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>character goes to the bar
>yeah I'll have a fuckin' uhhhhhhhhh

>i'll have a beer
>what sort
>whatevers on tap
>we have several on tap
>your choice
>i can't do that user
>fine I'll have that one
>okay

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>character accidentally chokes on a bit of whiskey
>develops a horrible infection that gives him wet cough and a sore throat for weeks
>character is too anxious and poor to see a doctor

>I’ll have a beer
>what kind?
>ummm w-what’s good?

Name one historical epic starring Omar Sharif that does this

what the fuck is a bar tender? how can a bar be tender it's not food

>character goes to a bar
>bartender gives him a glass of his experiment cocktail like pic related
>"no, it's okay i just want a beer"
>he gives it anyway because the character is there 3x a week and is now a valued costumer

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selling or waiting to pick up ya dummy

>character orders a beer
>'leave the bottle'

>develop infection from alcohol
what

cringe

if it actually gets in your lungs, it can fuck you up pretty badly

yikes

just say cold brew next time it's bartender codeword for best beer you got

>Canadian character orders milk
>”Leave the bag”

have sex

>Mongolian character orders milk
>Leave the yak

Whiskey purists believe that excessive cold kills the flavor.
Can't tell the difference, but I'm a vodka poorfag myself, so what do I know.

Some places yeah but its ridiculously expensive sometimes its like double or triple the price of buying it from the shop.
Bars dislike it since it since they would lose money if groups of people started sharing a bottle together rather than being the bars' mixed drinks,
So buying a bottle is usually an extortionate price

>drinking your whiskey neat

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how do tabs work?

>character goes to a bar
>orders a drink
>uh-oh I gotta leave
>never even touched the drink

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you pay next time you go

what does "on the rocks" mean?
t. someone who has never had alcohol before

you pay at the end of your stay rather than after each drink

pour it on ice

>Whiskey neat (or on the rocks)
>Bottom shelf Jack Daniels.

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whats this picture trying to convey?

what if I dont come back and start one with another bar?

That's what you deservefor having no taste

With ice.

with ice

house red on the rocks, my good man

whiskey isnt supposed to be cold

why not just say "with ice"?

Excuse me what the fuck did you just say?

Who fucking knows. I ask this question about a lot of random sayings that make no sense but are commonly used.
Why the fuck is alcohol with no ice "neat". Like how is it neat how does that make sense.

Cold Whiskey is the equivalent of Warm beer

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This

I'm talking movie tropes here.
I only drink top shelf neat. Otherwise it's with soda.

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>character goes to a bar
>"an alcoholic drink with ice, my good man!"

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People with strong opinions on alcohol are faggots

I think neat only applies to whiskeys as serving it without anything ("Neat") actually makes you taste the whiskey itself.

its like a synonym for "untouched"

Kek

IRON JACK?

You can. It's just that 'neat' and 'on the rocks' and all those other terms are colloquial already, like Yea Forums memes. You don't come here and ask "can you tell me where you got that video?" you just post source/sauce.

>character gets carded
>pulls out IV bag

>uh I'll have a milkshake please

Go to bed Moose.

GOD TIER
>Whiskey
>Vodkas above $20

neutral tier
>beer
>wine

Shit/faggot tier
>brandy
>lambanog
>gin

dude kahlua, baileys or white russian shakes should be be a staple

>Villain orders whiskey while classical music is playing while playing chess
>"On the rocks"
>Martini comes out
>"Checkmate"

>shaken, not stirred irl

Good whiskey will have its nuance destroyed by being served on ice, the same applies to good beer. Cheap whiskey and cheap beer should be served Ice cold, however, because when they warm up you can start to taste the cheap grains and adjuncts. Taste buds pick up more flavor with hot food, it's why hot pizza tastes so different from cold pizza and why even cheap pizza tastes good when cold.

>character thinks he's cool or mature for not drinking alcohol
>character refers to alcohol as "poison"
>character orders soda (or even worse, water) at the bar

>character has been established as a pussy
>scene in a bar and the character is distraught
>yeah give me uhh ginger ale
>optional laugh track

>character orders a bear
>bar tender just gives him one without asking what type

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Milk the best bar drink

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This exact scenario happened in an episode of Eveybody Loves Raymond I watched recently

>character orders a bear

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I never saw it on any menu card so I guess you have to pay an ridiculous amount of money. Spirits are in general the most overpriced item in bars.

>character orders a beer
>'leave the barrel'

>Character goes into British pub
>A pint o bitter please
>...and a packet of crisps

>oh hey it's mr malt liquor and box of bugles
>sorry we're all out of bugles
>we have malt liquor and toothpaste
>no thanks i had that for breakfast

tfw in the two seconds it takes you to walk from the entrance to the bar, they have your Blue Moon waiting for you and your order of a Philly Cheesesteak with a side of tots already put in

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with dry ice

>one blue alcopop for children please

>character walks into a bar
>gimme a gluten free drink
>I’m deathly allergic to gluten, you see
>here’s your drink buddy
>character sweating...
>is...is this gluten free?

>child walks into Indian bar
>gimme a child beer

>American character goes into a bar
>One shot please
>it's a murder mystery

>character goes into bar
>gimme a beer...and a drink for the lady at the end of the bar
>nods his head at lady
>lady ignores him
>character leaves nervously

>drinking alcohol in 2019

>character goes into old west bar
>gimme two fingers

You can't have more than one tab. Bars have an online system for this nowadays (world wide tab)

>Alright luv, I'll 'av a pint and bag of scratchins', ta.
>Do you have any ID?
>*shuffles off*

HEY BARTENDER
GIMME A BEER

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>gimme a drink
>bartender serves drink
>character swigs it and slams glass in table
>Ahhhhhhh!
>gimme another

>gets two fingers up his ass
>I meant whiskey
>bartender rolls eyes
>well you have to specify

>character walks into San Francisco bar
>gimme five fingers

>"I'll have a beer"
>bartender doesn't look at them like they're have Downes for a full minute before going "What KIND of beer, sir?"

Sipping whiskey should be diluted with water just a tad bit. Brings out more flavor and aroma.

kek this is me

>Character breaks the glass when he slams the cup down
>Cuts his hand really bad and the bartender gets mad and makes you pay $25 to replace it even though you could buy 4 of the same cups for like $5 total

>Order a drink
>Give bartender your CC
>Bartender asks if you want to start a tab
>You say yes
>Bartender either keeps your credit card or returns it to you (your tab is still open)
>Order more drinks,drinks go to your tab (sometimes you have to tell the bartender that you have a tab open)
>When you are done buying drinks for the night, tell the bartender that you wanna close your tab
>They give you a receipt with all the drinks you order (if they have your credit card, then they will return it to you at this time)
>If you leave your tab open and leave the bar, then they automatically charge you a 18%~ tip

Essentially it's a way to order multiple drinks for the night without having to pay every time you order it

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>vampire walks into blood bank
>gimme a pint

lmao

>Bars dislike it since it since they would lose money if groups of people started sharing a bottle together rather than being the bars' mixed drinks,
>So buying a bottle is usually an extortionate price
it's also because bars have to buy their supply from a different place than the liquor store which also charges more

they buy it from sam's club like everyone else. they don't tax on alcohol or cigarettes

Just point to one of the tabs you daft cunt

>German walks into a bar
>Please provide one drink of the alcoholic refreshment known as ‘beer’

what's the most calorie-efficient way to get drunk

>one bepis please
>oahhhhhaaaaaayeahhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeea

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Vodka, anally

>character orders water for 3 hours straight
>bartender starts calling him a Narc

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cringe

those 99 proof "99 bananas"
but i don't like the bananas flavor. i go for peppermint
it's schnapps so it does have calories but it's really strong so you don't have to drink as much

>character calls football "sportsball"

of course you have to drink water straight, that's what it means

Vodkie sodies

Do NOT try this, fills your ass with mustard gas.

>Japanese man orders whiskey in Japan
>It's got a giant ice sphere in it

Straight whiskey

Gay whiskey

We call them "ice cubes"

>americans call spheres "cubes"

Cold cubes here

>Doesn't even come out of a mould, but instead some guy spends 30 minutes chipping away at a huge block of ice
>Whiskey is now watered down, cold, and tastes like old man hands

yeah, enjoy your $130 bottle

>character goes into bar
>gimme a rum and coke
>Is Pepsi okay?
>Yep
>Gets a Pepsi and Coke

looks like a kingston, tastes like shit

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Imagine back in the day it would have, back when it was much harder to keep an eye on employees.

not beer.. just get something hard and drink a lot of it than you would normally do, you'll get drunk fast, then you can control your drinking afterwards

Nah it's not, there's a law that says a place with a liquor license can't serve more than the allotted spirit measure which is up to 75ml I believe. So a way around is pour the rest of the bottle in individual shot glasses and give them how ever many shots it is, selling them separately

it's cooler

>dog walks into dog bar
>gimme an ass to lick

That was actually pretty good.

>Bartender pulls a white girl off the shelf

>sometimes its like double or triple the price of buying it from the shop
That's basically anything at a bar, not just a bottle of whiskey. You go to a bar for the experience. Those drinks need to not just cover that expense, but the rest of the overhead as well.

>orders whiskey
>asks for off the rocks

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based

I'd like a sex on the beach
and get your rocks off

kek and checked

that's such an easy joke that a terrible webcomic did it over a decade ago

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>because when they warm up you can start to taste the cheap grains and adjuncts. Taste buds pick up more flavor with hot food
This is anecdotal I think because I'm the opposite way and I feel like there are plenty of people like me.
When food is hot I can discern less of the flavour because it burns my mouth. I can taste the most flavour when foods and drinks are cold or lukewarm, less so when warm.
But then again I have very tight nasal passages so I rely purely on my taste buds and not the evaporating smells typical from hot foods that hit your olfactory.

blue moon tastes like shit, but the cheesesteak sounds nice

>two pints of lager, two shots of tequila and a wkd for the kids please barkeep

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kek

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Get this hothead outta here

>russian character
>drinks vodka
>warm
>from a mug
>with no chase

chasers are for sissy faggots

chasers are for terrible tasting alcohol
>grr i'm more MANLY and TESTOSTERONE because i don't like what i'm drinking

then drink something else you retard

>cheesesteak
>tots
>Dougie Jones

I see you're a man of culture too.

>sells both bepis and coke
What kinda illegal joint is this? My nieces lemonade stand's more legitimate than this.

chasers are for smart people that don't want to puke their guts out after 15 shots

i once ordered "two wodka in one glass with ice"

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>Gimme a wine
>...and leave the box.

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>gimme a whiskey, on the rocks, hold the whiskey
>spend the whole night loudly chewing ice cubes

>walk in bar
>sit down
>ask barman to glass me
>he smashes a bottle over my head

You're gonna puke your guts out regardless of whether you had chasers or not if you're gonna drink recklessly. It's all liquid. If you had something to eat, then it will hurt a lot less.

this is literally the only way to order at a bar

I'll have a virgin screwdriver

With pebbles you fucking mongoloid

thats a strong opinion you have there