How could James prevent himself

How could James prevent himself

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jame.jpg

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*Blocks your path*

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Mike a wideboy now

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What went wrong? Too much Erin and McDonalds?

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How could he indeed

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Time is the fire in which we burn

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Am I the only one who actually finds Fat Boy Rental Reviews low-key comfy?

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Those fat fucks feel so tacked on. I miss the days of Bootsy and Kyle. Ryan really cucked James into putting his Screenwave friends on James' channel.

Based Bootsy made that doc.

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Bootsy was too frail and cucky. I didnt like him. S o y as fuck.
Is Mike the bane of cinnemassacre? What would it have been like of his abrasivene ass wasn't involved?

Ryan demanded he eat more so the rest wouldn't feel so fat. He made Mike sign a weight gain contract using a grease pencil made of his own forehead sheen.

>it's a tony laughs after everything he says because he is too uncomfortable to even exist
>it's a stabbing eye balls forced meme
Slob Zombie is probably the least offensive of the trio, although Mike and Tony Tuesdays is bringing me around on Tony. It's hard for me to have an opinion on Justin because nothing he's ever done sticks out in my memory.
I'm glad they went down to three people, but I liked the basement set better. They should honestly just recreate it if they can't shoot at James's all the time.

Mike is the angry video game nerd of Cinemassacre, James just acted the role. The slob trinity are the new writers, with James barely acting the part.

Classic.

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Yes
I do kinda like Mike's new show tho. Kieran isn't so bad without Tony and Justin around and Ryan has actually played games that aren't on a Nintendo console.

Mike produces enjoyable rage kino

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Hangin' with my good buddy, my good ol' pal Jimmy Rolfe!

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Retard, LLC.

Jame is, he can't counteract, he can't afford a publicist.

Aw

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What are some movies about eating yourself to death?

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I unsubscribed from all of his channels because of this nonsense shit

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Bootsy looked like a fag with all the flat bill hats

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Mike is a sexy dude. He is drinking too much alcohol. Get right, Mike.

If you say so Mike/Ryan/Kieran/etc.

Has Mike Matei ever had an actual job?

Is Mike going to be a vampire again this year for the 10th time?

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Why is James always doing documentaries about himself and his career?

His ego is out of control.

Why does he hate resellers?

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I want his ego to get bigger while having no money. His ads are ass. Let's float this beautiful boy to bankruptcy.

He's an elitist cunt. He just wants you to buy his book and not play emulators since it would take away from his right to brag about his game wall. He literally is NOT a gamer, just exploiting the market for money. Fuck him.

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I tried watching some episodes of it, like their Halloween and Godzilla reviews, but it comes off as an embarrassing version of Half in the Bag with a gaggle of literal obese cavemen. Also the basement is so claustrophobic.

Yea but most of his collection was bought from resellers. Does he not realize this?

Because they are making money off of his "hobby", only he's allowed to do that.
He's also bitter he doesn't get the recognition he thinks he deserves. I realized this week as a friend was talking about the T206 Wagners that Pat wants the carts named like those cards. He wants his gold cart to be remembered as "The Contri cart". But nobody really cares that much other then 40 year old boomers.

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No it's insanely incompetent and they're all the opposite of charismatic.

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Any fans of Ian?

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>Those fat fucks feel so tacked on.

>not the dumb fuck called james rolfe who can only speak on the level of a 10 year old

James is charismatic in his art models. Go with the fag, we love him.

God no.

>posts a picture of someone else standing with sid

LOL

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Anybody listen to the CU Podcast?

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>hey ozzy Im uhhhhhm, yeahhhh oh yeah Im your biggest fan, I really like your uhhhnderrated classic "crazy train", I am a filmmaker if you didnt know, I have made over 300 films.

kek

I work with a really fat guy and he smells fuck awful from 2 metres away so I can't imagine being stuck in a tiny corner like that with 3 of them

To be fair I would stutter as well. You get nervous when you meet somebody you are a fan of.

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well Yea Forums?

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SEALED

Modern James blows. He doesn't give a shit about Cinemassacre, yet still wants all the credit. He's the face of channel that barely even has him in it at all. He doesn't work for more than a few hours a month with the other people. He's too busy trying to write his autobiography and shitty horror movie, which he thinks will somehow take him places.

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you sound upset

Pat the NES Punk gives me a really bad vibe. I like the idea of his channel in theory but he just comes off as a huge snob.

Nah. Just speaking the truth.

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Frank is based though

youtube.com/watch?v=AuOn7QPH-V4

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Welcome back to another episode!

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He could look at Mike's penis pics on Twitter.

until next time

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He's a pretty face. Possibly even prettier than Pewdiepie. He was just retarded.

James wife definitely saw mikes dick on twitter, along with thousands of kids

How the fuck did Screenwave get involved with James and Cinemassacre in the first place? It feels so out of nowhere.

that turned out to be fake

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Wasnt fake.
(the tape measure was yeah) his dick is only like 6 inches and looks gross

Imagine caring this much about ecelebs

Dude. I'm at work hating the time I'm wasting.... JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all plastic and electronics. Easly could fit on one USB drive. Emulation is the future.

Come back productive. Willing to go confront battle.

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>I will never fuck his wife
y live

Ryan was involved with their website since around 2008 or so. He's a slimy little toad and he sucked up to James early on to get in later and take over.

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Hey James.

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How much do you want to bet that Monster Madness is going to be even worse than that shit-show they put on last year?

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definitely

Face it! Breakfast is ruined!

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i dun a poo

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uhh you realize he cancelled monster madness liek 2 years ago right?

he said he would only do a few halloween related videos from then on

Rice Chex, Hersey syrup utop, two table spoons a refined sugar. Big bowl. Milk whole.

Got all the accoutrements to watch a block of...youtube.com/watch?v=sAkL2-vh2Sk.

He said in a recent James and Mike Monday "episode" that he had to watch 20 movies for "Monster Madness." So, apparently he is bringing it back.

interesting, thanks.
I mean I'm so over his reviews nowadays, but mite b cool

James is such a fucking shallow and boring person, listening to him "talk" on James & Mike Mondays just bores me to tears. I've heard sex dolls with synthetic voices make more interesting comments than him. They should rename it to just "Mike Mondays", as he's doing all the work while James brings fucking NOTHING to the table. Whenever they play a hard game, his usual response is "wow, yeah this is hard", when they play a good game he goes "yeah, this game's cool".

It wasn't always like this. In earlier JMM episodes, he was much more talkative and visibly had more energy, instead of the fake emotions he puts on display nowadays. And it wasn't just in episodes with game he had personal experiences with, even while playing games he never played before he was engaged with the subject matter. Right now he's just a hallow shell of what he once was. I don't know if it's him getting older or if he has a lot of real life stress getting to him, but it's a fucking disgrace and a damn shame. Mike should replace James with someone else, though BY GOD nobody from that fucking Cinemassacre crew, and just start a new, non-cringey Game Grumps style show.

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Mike looks like a chad

>James remembers Raid 2020 and how he said he would review it in the year 2020
>Realizes it's actually almost 2020
>James can't handle the passage of time anymore, hangs himself on December 31
>Other members of Cinemassacre find him hanging in the basement
>Castlevania 1 is loaded in the NES, hooked up to a CRT, frozen on the end-title screen

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christ those sideburns are shit, they're usually a sign to skip an AVGN episode when I'm watching the playlist on random

>game grumps

You mean Mike + Jon?

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Yes but not Jon per se. I like Mike, I like Jon, but I don't think they have a good chemistry together, Jon's a lot younger than Mike for one thing.

Middle-age comes at you fast

How bad do you think James bitched out Mike when he pulled the whole Reddit dick fiasco?

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Because he's had millions of people telling him for years that he's the best thing ever, and he listened to them.
If you want to stay on top, never internalize the praise of fans, or the criticism.
Just make yourself laugh and have a good time, and people will keep coming back.
Content creators should never slip into the destructive mindset of 'us vs them' with the fans.
Eventually, the fans will sour on you if you have that attitude and walk away.
Content creators should largely ignore the fans.
Just make the entertaining shit and otherwise shut your fucking mouth.

>James: heh heh, yeah that was pretty funny and all mike but do you think you could maybe tone it down, if it isnt so much bother

>mike: punches james in the face and reminds him who runs things

Based motherfucker cereal fan

Yes, the reviews would actually be very good without the fat fucks. On a side note, they also trigger my claustrophobia, the room looks small with those fatties in it.

thats why they moved to a new set.
James wife was afraid one of the fattys would eat his kids

>falling for the cereal meme

I see the greatest marketing trick of the 20th century is still working.

>grown man with literal gray hairs starting to pop out wearing a pacman shirt and mario pajamas

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take a drink every time the lardass caveman strokes his beard

I'd watch Jon and Mike Mondays. Would be kino.

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castle my asshole

iAan.

Not at all. James is a complete push-over. But, I bet his wife found out about it and then said he couldn't spend as much time with Mike after that and that was worried about him being around him and her etc. Now James and Mike are just basically co-workers instead of best friends running a channel together. I bet April also thought it was in their best interest to sell out to Screenwave.

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time gets us all in the end

>james doing the söygape again

I think he's doing it intrinsicly nowadays

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mikes got those ted bundy sociopath eyes

Nah, I feel like since James is the face of the company, he probably got in a screaming match. I think James is only awkward on camera. He always just wanted to be a director anyway. Not an actor. He probably holds his tongue until he's out of the like light and calls Mike a fuck.

Face it. Mike wouldent be shit without James being the face of the company. Mike as the angry video game nerd would just be cringy as fuck. Doesnt have the look. Mike needs James. No matter how much of a smug fuck he may seem.

>CU Podcast
No I do not.

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Even Mike called James out about that face recently.

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Based, what did he say

Was it the same when Mike made an off-hand comment about James' hairloss a few years back?

>Arin and Jon era Game Grumps

Why do you have to put salt in my wounds

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Remember when he wore that fucking Jafar outfit and thought he was the coolest bastard in the tristate area? His hand didnt leave his beard.

Is this what people refer to as butthole eyes?

Griffin McElroy > James Rolfe?

James DID NOT scold Mike. - elvis8atari

april doesn't let mike near the kids and she makes sure her parents are watching them when mike comes over

Mike seems like the type of dude with a loud mouth but can get knocked down a peg fast. James seems like the quiet type that holds it in then rips you a new asshole in private.
I call bullshit. That was the dumbest fucking pr move ever. James had to have been pissed. Theres one thing with saying stupid stories or saying you dont like the new ghostbusters. Its another to post your cock to your underaged fanbase. Big nono. Threatened their career and livelyhood. And James has kids. He was probably fucking MAD.

i was talkin bout the other lardass whose hand is stroking his beard in the pic. fatty literally does it 200-300x an episode

They all cant stop touching theirselves. Surprised one didnt try rubbing one off midshoot yet.

it aint something that will ever go away, either, since it's never been addressed. mike made no apology and james has never acknowledged it. cinemassacre will always be known as the channel with the guy who exposed himself to children through the official accounts (twice!!)

Fucking twice? You have to be kidding me. He did that shit a SECOND TIME?

>He did that shit a SECOND TIME?
once on the official reddit page and then a second time on twitter like 6 months later, same pic. screenwave tries to push the pr in here that mike was drunk and made an honest mistake. bullshit, he did it twice with the same pic months apart. kiddie diddling pervert

Seems about right.

why did James stop using clips for Monster Madness?
yeah copyright and shit but why doesn't the Nostalgia Critic have any problems doing it then or a majority of other YouTubers? is James just a pussy?

Something something. Doesnt want copyright strikes. Something something wanna make sure he gets his youtube bux.

>is James just a pussy?
Pretty much.

youtube.com/watch?v=dqEGdSEOAis

KINO PERSONIFIED. Greta (((Thunberg))) be proud.

Idk about that. I think it was more "Im tired of Claire (or whoever the fuck he was dating at the time), hey, gamer e-girls looking for a free ride, heres my dick as an incentive to pick me. Its big, huh?" Enter April.
I dont think he realized his fan base was kids. He's just a fucking idiot.

lol

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he's objectively worse than the fat fucks

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Can we talk about how Mike chooses to dress like a 15-year-old all the time?

that's him. he just got fat

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I think it's part of the whole "lmao us retro gamers amirite guys" pathos.

Try 3-year old

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based

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Thats Kyle justin..

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Kieran has posted here before. Seemed like a cool dude.

t. bootsy

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Hey Kieran.

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I actually saw that thread in an archive. He does seem like a cool-ass dude. Kinda changed my mind on their reviews. At least for him.
Justin is okay too. I think hes the most innocent one of the bunch, but is just too autistic to wait his turn to talk.

>Yeah...

youtube.com/watch?v=sbBK7ulRrHg
youtube.com/watch?v=V24lQaB2Rkk
based game grumps

yes it is

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He uses full on clips for his rental reviews. So Im not sure what thats all about, honestly.

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the best part is that rental reviews use clips because the fatsos use vhs filter but james is a literal retard and still can't do that

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I didnt see Justin being a drinker. I like him more now.

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"....as I curator of film, I have to be upfront about these Three Stooges shorts being racist."

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I will not let this thread die. Im having too much fun, damn it.

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douge walker does it too

Monster Madness will never be just James again will it?
it's gonna be James + House of 1000 Slobs won't it?

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His "friendship" with Mike seems so fake.
I can tell because I'm stuck in a same situation.

>I'll probably make some pasta tonight, yup
>hmm do I still have some ground beef? oh yeah I think I do... yeah
>Alright, should be good in the sauce, what else...

It better fucking not be. I wait all year for these reviews. Ill personally fly out to Jersey and take their cheeseburgers away if they try and pull it.

hi mike

Doubt it, even worse they didn't even release last years shitty stream they did of those two b-movies.

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Board James Season 2 was peak kino. Nothing he will ever do will peak that, especially with Bootsy gone

It really was a great series. Better than AVGN, really. I can watch the Full House board game episode endlessly. It's classic.

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Thsy were friends in college who started up a buisness together. How long does that last before work life and personal lives collide? James is a father now. Mike is content being a terrible boyfriend and playing with Elmo puppets on twitch. It was only a matter of time before they grew apart. But since this is their major source of income, theyre trapped. Hence bringing in the fatties to diversify the cast so that its not James and Mike forcing conversations.
Theyve even outright said they film all James and Mike mondays in one day for like, the next 2 or 3 months. James doesnt even bother to change shirts to keep up the illusion at this point.

Yes, and the future is inevitable, but to forget the past is foolish. Reverence for the past helps us reign in the future and help keep advancement from being too destabilizing.

anyone have the gif of james taking a game out of mikes hand and mike has to hold back his rage

Why do people worship Bootsy? I find him fucking annoying. I dont get it. Good riddence.

I have to see this.

I almost think Mike is envious that he let James be the face of Cinnemassacre. Like, he did most of the work behind the scenes and still James is all people think about when the company is mentioned.

Yall ever hear the story of how James and Mike met? Mike was throwing a party and a mutual friend brough James along. James got smashed and threw up in some vintage packman trashcan of his before being escorted from the party. The next day, James shows up looking for the hat he was wearing and they bonded over his retro memorabilia. Weird fucking way to meet a friend.

Nearly every youtube gaming channel I ever once loved has either died off or has gone to complete shit. I hate a small part of myself for ever liking pic related.

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The only ones I like from that group are James and the ultra lard.
Neither of them come off as tryhard.
The other guys don't feel natural.

Im pissed this turned into a bunch if dudes sitting on a couch playing video games. This show was Kino as FUCK. Why did they ever end it?

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Thats cause Justin doesn't give a fuck about looking cool on camera. (The ultra-lard)

youtube.com/watch?v=nLROciLwldE

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>James doesnt even bother to change shirts to keep up the illusion at this point.
That shit pisses me off. He's so inept and fucking lazy it's ridiculous.

Oh God, I shit on him in this thread.
I hope he doesn't see it.
He's not really that bad.
Just should be a little more relaxed is all.
Seems like a nice guy.
I feel guilty now.

This webm is from part of that.

Tv and movies??! More like TP and DOODIES!! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! By giving a whole board to a bunch of incels and racist pedophile motherfuckers. I would rather stick my dick to a fucking active microwave with a paper bag full of shit in it than see another fucking brie Larson hate thread

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God, I fucking hate this pricks. Assholes ruined so much of the collector landscape with their idiocy and greed. Fuck them in the eye.

>I wonder how many bulls my wife is taking right now

>Am I the only one who actually finds Fat Boy Rental Reviews low-key comfy?
Yeah, they've gotten better too. They just need to give James some Five Hour Energy or some coke at the halfway point

kek

Tony needs to hit those weights man

That was one of the few channels James was subbed to back in the early days, along with Captain S and Game Jew.

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That's fine, we'll make a thread if James every does any solo kino again
youtube.com/watch?v=q9D74m628gQ

>thinking about sid haig, what a legend for taking a picture with me once at a paid convention

>ps follow me on socials

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Because it was actually really well done and captured the 80's "Woah, VIDEO GAMES, DUDE!!!" vibe perfectly. I binged the shit when I discoved it. Then they just. Idk. Stopped. It sucks.

Cinemassacre still puts out some good stuff, which is honestly impressive considering the tenure. But the truth is there has been a decline in quality since Ryan and the others infested it. Some of them aren't bad guys, like the long hair dude, but they don't have the personality or charm or chemistry that Mike/James/Bootsy/Kyle had and have.

Double Michaels, they've both come out of the other end of internet firestorms as much stronger

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....and 8-Bit Mickey!

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"Hey, uh... James. I uh, I need you to come do a sponsored ad or something for ShmuckAttack. Yeah, just make a funny face and say your catch phrases and we'll edit it together. That cool bro? Awesome."

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WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FWUUUUUUCK!

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K I N O

youtu.be/Gy5IKp1cKmI

>I don't know if it's him getting older or if he has a lot of real life stress getting to him,
James was never the same after the movie

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I would be eternally cringing at myself at night if I was this guy.

>laying in bed, trying to sleep
>*hey dude, remember that time you tried to steal a mans entire schtick and concept*"

I wonder how money he ACTUALLY spent on that abomination. I don't know which is worse the fact he spent half a million to make that abomination or he didn't even spend half of it and it all went into his pocket.

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Because they're contrarians. Bootsy got some love when he was on the channel, but it only exploded after he was let go

I wouldn't. He made unironic kino videos that are still hilariously bad to this day. No one make kino cringe like Bores. Plus the Youtube Irate Gamer vs AVGN wars were pure fun and a sacred time that just doesn't exist now.

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Half of it went into his wife's pocket, a 3rd went into his wife's boyfriend's pocket, and the rest went into the movie.

>Because they're contrarians.
Cope, Mike.

ELECTRONS MOVE THROUGH THE FIDGET SPINNER!

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...

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Half a million is still super low budget. Could have done a better more contained movie with that amount instead of being BIG ALIENS UFOS ROAD TRIP.

Imagine the smell.

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>Half a million is still super low budget.
Not for an indie picture. He originally wanted $70,000 but got way over his head. That and the script was fucking atrocious. Looking at you, Kevin Finn and also his fucking wife.

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For some reason, knowing she willingly lives with and fucks Mike Matei makes her unattractive even to my sex starved pee pee

Did you see the movie? They used all that money

She is the fucking worst, honestly. So fucking phony, fake dumb "gamer grrl," who never touched a game in her life. Just another whore jumping in on the "retro" bandwagon to make a quick buck. And she's fucking Mike to get ahead. Pretty god damn sad.

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It's my understanding that Douge hasn't used any clips whatsoever in quite some time for that very reason. Oh yes, his "reviews" are all skits now.
They've clamped down even harder on copyright, now you can get claimed for the faint hint of a tune or a still image.

>That Sega Activator episode
>Spent the most amount on it
>Lame
>No one likes it, really
>Gets so made, James actually makes a video commentary calling out his fans as plebs who just don't "get" slapstick humor

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He did not do that. Really? Its only cause it was an actual hollywood D-lister he was filming it with so he feels he has to defend it.

How pathetic was this episode?
"5:40 on the dot?! Fuck, stop the video, April has beckoned to me!"
Fast-forward to later, it's four in the morning and James has a fucking baby monitor next to him while he tries to beat the game, then has to leave multiple times because of said baby alarm keeps screaming at him.

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youtube.com/watch?v=LRSMq_QNvOA

haha what a loser, taking care of his baby

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Yeah, it's also his job to play games, and where the fuck is his wife? He can't even watch a movie for fucking Rental Reviews without juggling a baby and a laptop. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that?

You're always winner

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The only one I can watch anymore is Ross and even he feels like he's losing his touch.
Sure Civvie is ok but he feels too much like another Plinkett ripoff.

Lol

Yeah nothing about how James spends all his time makes any fucking sense. One day a month filming J&MM, two days on Rental Reviews, three days if they do an AVGN.