Why dont we get more underwater kino?

Oh he knew, user. He knew.

We have rights too

Attached: 9D58500C-6B18-484E-A4B5-D286118B736F.jpg (2432x2432, 765K)

Moray eels scare the fuck out of me, just look at those teeth

I'm convinced squids and octopi are literally aliens.

Attached: 1552256732856.webm (854x480, 2.82M)

Attached: dock.webm (426x240, 1.89M)

OUTTA MY WAY CRUSTACEAN FUCKING SHITS

Attached: octowalk.webm (960x540, 2.93M)

>There's nothing left to fucking see.

eat shit, brainlet

Attached: what hellish things lurk beneath the waves.webm (640x480, 1.64M)

SWIM AWAY SWIM AWAY

Attached: octofren.webm (853x480, 1.92M)

I wish I could breathe underwater. I'd never have to read anyone's stupid opinions again or go to a stupid job.

>most of the scary creatures live underwater
>your main defense aka punching is completely useless

Attached: 1481038083551.jpg (600x632, 34K)

Attached: 1531208220649.webm (853x480, 867K)

Attached: 1569173617162.webm (640x360, 2.97M)

OUT OF MY WAY LAND FUCKING SHITS

Attached: 1558310025982.webm (480x480, 1.04M)

>tfw no octopus gf

There are divers who are alive right now who are only alive because they punched a shark in the face.
It's not completely useless.

>tfw /Pressure/ was the most fun I've had on this website

youtu.be/3H1ipbS3q6s
fag

Attached: leelelelelel.gif (320x272, 2.71M)

youtu.be/ZhqGPYCxg5w

>as water takes up roughly half of the planet.
universetoday.com/65588/what-percent-of-earth-is-water/

Attached: 20161209_234018.png (1736x1424, 1.2M)

that only works against sharks because their noses are extremely sensitive

try punching a giant squid or an angler fish and you will soon realize how vulnerable you are

looks fucking alien

Attached: 1545828822608.webm (540x360, 993K)

>overcompensating with tentacles
I bet he has a small dick

The octopus is largely regarded as the white man of the ocean.

does it get any cuter than this

Attached: 1544926273106.gif (393x221, 1.95M)

make way for the KING, niggas
>smart
>huge
>beautiful
>one of the "youngest" animals out there
>loved by the ladies
>tasty

Attached: ocean-sunfish.jpg (625x421, 91K)

>being scared of something that eats plankton

Why would I ever decide to punch a giant squid?
A human's main defense is his fucking brain, m8. I'd bring a weapon.

wtf look just how fast that thing is

That symbol.

Attached: APS rifle.jpg (628x421, 51K)

>says this while posting one of the most reposted ocean webm

Attached: orenthal-james-simpson-9484729-1-402.jpg (1200x1200, 261K)

What did he mean by this?

cutie

I am the jokah baby

a human's main defence is intelligence and tool use, but maybe not yours you fucking baboon

Wanna know how I got these scars?

I came here to post this

holy fucking shit that's just unreal

i'm very frightened of water

Attached: 1567532480670.png (1024x681, 1.82M)

You know, I just realized that I have watched this. Is it kino?

Attached: deep.jpg (1743x2580, 514K)

*have never watched

Attached: Crab eating baby crabs.webm (854x480, 2.92M)

Attached: Grouper Swallowing A Shark.webm (1280x720, 2.67M)

Attached: white whale.webm (720x720, 1.75M)

Post webm of diver playing with some cute crabs.

That's at poopy treatment plants. Won't find that in nature.

i know, but it's still frightening.
i don't know why it scares me since i'm a pretty damn good swimmer and a nationally certified lifeguard.

Why are US documentaries so embarrassing? Fucking guitar riffs and all sorts of shit.

Attached: March of the Sea Pigs.webm (640x360, 1.77M)

based retard

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER

Attached: Hammerhead hunting blacktips.webm (1280x720, 1.83M)

Attached: dolphin hump.gif (322x220, 1.39M)

anyone wanna get some harpoons and hunt it

THAT THING LOOKS HURT JAY

Attached: Hammerhead attacks Blacktip.webm (1280x720, 1.96M)

That's the camera moving you brainlet

N-NANI?!

The deep sea is my only fear.

Attached: Turtles eat jellyfish.webm (640x746, 2.77M)

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER

Attached: Vampire Squid.webm (1280x720, 2.13M)

Attached: vampire squid2.webm (720x720, 1.11M)

If you guys like underwater kino, I highly suggest getting your scuba license. It's 100% better IRL because it feels like you're flying.

more like chode squid

>this fella
Stopped watching there.

l-lewd

cast him

Attached: 1556311416210.webm (1280x720, 2.98M)

>*block your path*

Attached: dumb looking fish.webm (720x404, 2.92M)

The fuck are you looking at you dumb looking fish?

Attached: capeshit.webm (640x480, 576K)

Mike tyson

Attached: deep sea creature.webm (720x480, 2.94M)

Attached: 1542960845543.webm (720x404, 2.54M)

definitely not... metabolize sugar, breathe oxygen, made for earth pressures/temperatures/energy levels... they're pretty terrestrial.

What was its endgame here

virgin

The fuck even are these again?

Attached: 1549414969014.gif (268x196, 2.7M)

Attached: fuck the ocean.webm (440x360, 1.25M)

Attached: 1528964074490.webm (480x270, 1.79M)

What am I looking at here? Reverse search turns up nothing

Attached: Nautilus.webm (480x269, 2.95M)

Attached: jewish starfish gets expelled from sand guppy nation.webm (854x480, 2.45M)

RIP Alienfren

Attached: 1550319191328.webm (720x540, 1.3M)

Test of an underwater nuclear explosion probably.

I used to think these were extinct.

Attached: Great White and Kayak.webm (1280x720, 1.82M)

(((vampire squid)))

it doesn't look like nuclear explosions at sea I've seen before, it looks more conventional

It's from when they tried to kill Godzilla.

Pennywise?

Attached: 0893471023847.gif (320x224, 1.49M)

>giv

Looks pretty fucking big for a conventional explosive.

Attached: 1562023794761.gif (353x201, 3.84M)

>CUNY

kek I thought he was gonna toss him over the edge

To be spoopy

What the fuck is its problem?

Probably one of the Bikini Atoll tests. They're still pissed about that.

>the shitposter and the janny

what is that? vampire squid?

Attached: 1542965212249.webm (1280x720, 2.8M)

He means it covers roughly half of its landmass, not that the earth is literally composed of 50% water you fucking imbeciles

>eel in container: what the FUCK Jerry!

Now that's a weird fucking creature

Attached: Orca and Seal.webm (1280x720, 2.92M)

>Yea Forums posters flocking to an braaaap pic

I did until just now.

based starter dish

Attached: 1540263795290.gif (300x300, 1.96M)

the french have much to answer for

it is a close relative to the jellyfish(Cnidaria), they are from the Ctenophora family, pain in the ass to work with, if you touch them they dismantle like cotton candy in the water

Attached: 170411_Ctenophore_Full.jpg (835x557, 34K)

So what the fuck up with Orcas? Why are they such massive assholes?

What am I looking at here?

Attached: 1557978274841.webm (768x432, 2.89M)

Intelligence.

Attached: Orcas charge Blue Whale.webm (854x480, 2.92M)

they are extinct. that was the last one and they killed it after the gif was made

same reason we are, bigbrain

They're smart enough to know seals are dumb.

Are Orcas literally the niggers of the ocean?

Attached: 1568231985310.jpg (755x696, 93K)

Interesting how that octopus gives the impression of eyelashes despite being an octopus.

>imblying
youtube.com/watch?v=MlRA5TMPWZ4

Attached: 18176951_p0.jpg (708x1000, 237K)

That dude has some moves on him.

kek so the submersible just fucked that one up?

Ok so dismissing all the reddit-tier anthropomorphization what is that octopus doing with him?

Yes

Attached: Deep Sea Squid.webm (960x540, 2.79M)

yeah, it killed it

was that shit or semen?

D-does it grow bat wings at the end?

that would be humans washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2016/02/18/endangered-baby-dolphin-dies-after-swimmers-pass-it-around-for-selfies/

i'm in the 6th semester of biology, post questions and I will answer

and yes I want to kill myself

Attached: 1569015019205.jpg (1070x900, 434K)

How do these guys ever live more than a year.
They just float around at the surface. Anybody can come up and take a bite

giant squid

Lovecraftian.

What kind of squid is the hottest?

Attached: Enypniastes eximia.webm (1280x720, 2.83M)

what is your field of study

No, they are more like jews

nationalgeographic.com/news/2017/04/orcas-killed-tourists-st-vincent-whaling/

>"What he did, I want to emphasise this, what he did was plain wrong. Not just because it happened in front of tourists, but (because) he must not kill the orcas," Gonsalves said.

>The Killer Whale cries out as he strikes you

Attached: cuttlefish walk.webm (888x500, 2.4M)

orcas don't target people in the wild

snakes, but i'm just starting at it

this one

Attached: smith2010_01.jpg (2480x3260, 1.17M)

lel sure they don't

thanks

a most delicious invertebrate

HOOO LEE SHIT LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN THING

Weird

I think most everything likes to be stroked.

The ocean is full of weird.

Attached: Tomopteris.webm (1280x720, 1006K)

scrotum

>that brief moment where everything goes black
jesus fuck

it is trying to scape and he is putting his hand in front of it.

Attached: turtle eating.webm (854x480, 2.81M)

It's assessing whether its a friend or foe basically. There have been cases of octopus getting a frequent human visitor to help it move logs. They've evolved to learn but the downside is that they have extremely short lifespans and cannot pass knowledge onto future octopi.

his best quality: his wiggles

Attached: Turtle eats jellyfish.webm (576x720, 1.02M)

Attached: hqdefault.jpg (480x360, 21K)

You know how scientists are always clamoring about how we know more about outer space then we do our own oceans?

Maybe there is a fucking reason for that
1. The ocean sucks
2. Who wants to be around some faggy fish
3. Fuck salt

Let me explain to you something /pol/
We never need to explore our fucking oceans because theres nothing cool down there
So dont you go looking because your going to waste your time my time and humanities time

I dont understand why anyone would wanna go check out that bullshit

If you wanna get the same experience just go to the deepend of the pool or a pond and its the same exact shit just deeper

I repeat there is nothing cool in our unexplored oceans and aint nobody got time to find it out.

Attached: gay.jpg (1920x1200, 157K)

...

>t. cthulu

Attached: turtle.webm (720x720, 1.7M)

genetic knowledge is a thing

>sharts and then turns around to eat the fish that come to eat its shart

Life finds a way

Has watching stuff like River Monsters, JW: Dark Waters, and Blue Planet really made you nervous? I grew up in the country and wouldn't think twice about getting into water I knew had the possibility of venomous snakes or alligators because I just grew up that way and knew it was a risk. Now I'm getting nervous even in popular swimming holes from watching everything I didn't know lurked at the bottom. I still swim but the entire time I'm thinking about some big catfish dragging me under. I dream of being able to see the deep with my own eyes one day but even normal diving seems terrifying to me. Anyway have a video youtube.com/watch?v=t_S_cN2re4g

Attached: 1352951668801.png (490x558, 237K)

Attached: 1560028881925.webm (1024x576, 2.89M)

A good majority of the places Wade goes are third-world shitholed with god knows what prehistoric abominations swimming around, and even then he never actually catches it. I'd worry more about garbage and diseased shit floating in the water at the beach.

Snibeti Snab x--DD

Attached: giant crayfish.webm (720x722, 2.81M)

Attached: hungry ryleh.webm (1000x562, 2.68M)

bro wtf

Man, it would really suck to be a small sea creature like a plankton.

:D

Attached: bluewhale.jpg (976x549, 122K)

>You know how scientists are always clamoring about how we know more about outer space then we do our own oceans?
Anyone who has ever said that is retarded.
In outer space there are literally trillions and trillions of planets with their own respective oceans. Even if there only existed one other planet of earth-like proportions with an ocean we would still know more about our own oceans.

Attached: 14123.jpg (598x600, 68K)

nah bruh you just gotta take the fossil to cinnabar island and wait a bit

like the other user said, it's a friend assessment, but they also enjoy the feel of human skin

Not really. Generalized instincts are a thing, but the specific knowledge of a creature's personal experiences is not heritable.

Attached: Whale breach.webm (720x720, 2.45M)

Attached: seasteading.jpg (540x400, 56K)

Attached: Whale jump.webm (1280x720, 2.71M)

Anyone have the vid where the eel bits a guys finger off and it goes POP.

Attached: Whale Shark and dolphins.webm (1024x678, 1.06M)

I cannot believe people actually eat whales, and don't even start with the bullshit
>b-b-but you eat cows
cows are literally made to be eaten, in every period of the history of this planet there was a cow equivalent, fat, dumb and numerous just waiting to nourish the predators of the land

>in every period of the history of this planet there was a cow equivalent, fat, dumb and numerous just waiting to nourish the predators of the land
just like whales.

you shouldn't be recording your mom taking a bath you weirdo

everyone like the big fren

Anime octopus

He didn't fly so good.

whales aren't dumb nor prey, they are actually predators

Do you think anyone has ever tried to fuck one?

Attached: jellyfish ice.webm (720x404, 2.81M)

>I ain't even mad

>I've fought mudcrabs fiercer than you!

You just know

>AH AH AHHHH LOOK OUT! AHH I'M GOING TO- AHH! I'M COOMING!!!

Attached: Salmon nut.webm (960x540, 2.68M)

why do they leap and twirl? just for fun?

Attached: Sharks getting pet.webm (1280x720, 2.1M)

majestic specimen

Probably

Attached: whale calf.webm (640x574, 2.96M)

umm do you think they're actually feeling pleasure when they COOM? cuz that looks like my o face

>edit: thanks for the likes

UNDAH THA SEAAA

Probably because Americans can't swim

Attached: 647476.png (1754x1004, 526K)

Attached: sssss.jpg (569x249, 21K)

>we meet again, samurai

Probably. Pleasure is just a way for your body to get you to do what it wants.

Saitama

legendary

but eating too many cheese doodles surely can't be what my body truly wants...

When your foot is hanging over the edge of the bed at night

>dat hivemend

also, fuck the ocean. i live 20 minutes from the beach and i still drive 4 hours to the mountains more often.

Attached: boop.webm (720x404, 2.36M)

It doesn't know how many cheese doodles you have. If you were a caveman and you found a cheese doodle that would be a life defining moment.

Attached: 1568908602425.png (896x573, 654K)

Attached: Great White Shark Encounter.webm (960x540, 2.03M)

Attached: 1527599968755.jpg (2456x1632, 517K)

>Open link
>See pic
>"Humans"

lmao

Cave diving, now that remains me of dry cave diving (spelunking)

Attached: Screen Shot 2019-04-27 at 8.04.05 PM.png (948x1280, 1.29M)

Attached: 1531233956701.webm (1280x720, 2.55M)

Questions about what? The oceans? Should a new 'age' definition be created to cover stuff like octopuses due to the fact they have been seen using tools and creating 'art' and thus, if were doing it on land, be considered to have entered the Stone Age (much like some monkey's and apes have done so).

Attached: Chad Coomer.png (2518x1024, 257K)

sweet mail

my octo gf

there are diminishing returns to pleasure

I think it really is beautiful in some of those underwater caves but i would never, ever do this shit. I actually think you're retarded if you do but i guess there's always gotta be explorers

>Cajuncheftowlingsweat.png

Orcas are smart fucking creatures on par with humans. There is (or should be) a mutual respect of the intelligence, to the point where Humans and Orcas hunted with each other over a century ago. Orcas don't even pursue dogs because we know they're human companions.

How does breathing underwater mean you don't need a job? Are you just going to hunt fish and eat them raw?

heehee

>we

>mutual respect of the intelligence

Nah, better put them in oversized bathtubs for their entire lifespan, depriving them of social intereaction, and force them to do stupid tricks in front of a bunch of people.

Is it imitating a drone?

>we

I wonder who is behind this post.

h-he's fast

this
Tilikum knew exactly what he was doing

Well what if there is literally nothing out there?
There is 101% chance there is some deep sea plant we havent discovered and there is no guarantee there are another living orgamisms out there

has there ever been an animal more based?

Nice try, Blackbeard. I'm getting that treasure.

ARE THOSE THE BONES OF HIS FALLEN ENEMIES?

why are the camera controls so fucking twitchy?

Attached: Grebz.webm (480x480, 2.27M)

Anybody else watch that video about the guy in the 70's who fell in love with a dolphin and used to sneak into the pool at night and fuck it? Felt sorry for the dude because he was genuinely romantically in love

A FUCKING WHITE WHALE?

Based orca poster

cute CUTE

They just used Lazarus

no man he was just fucked in the head

I've never heard of that, and I wish I hadn't

That looks like something out of resident evil

>We

Oh fuck. We, uh, apologize for Sea World.

anyone got any Portuguese man o war kino

It's a deep sea oil rig. It's just for monitoring equipment, not scientific observation.

semi-related

Attached: crab killer 9000.webm (640x360, 2.91M)

Get in the water with one then, to test that theory.

please tell me you have the pasta that goes with this

What does crab taste like?

no sorry user, but i have this

Attached: crab btfo.webm (720x404, 2.54M)

Actually they don't go after people or dogs because both of those are way too scrawny for them to even waste their time with. Orcas are very picky eaters.

there's white sharks all around cape cod now because the seal have returned.

how to drown a shark.

Holy shit, that's scary. They are so smart.

They're fine.

Attached: Lemon Sharks and Tiger Sharks.webm (1280x720, 2.73M)

OOOHH OOOH MYY GOD I'M COOOOMING

I don't see why humans would be the first creature to develop that. It's kind of the reason things reproduce, as far as we know.

>because we know
>we

Attached: anon.jpg (398x409, 39K)

It looks like a guy in a suit.

Obsessed.

Why are you bringing pol into it at all? Whats wrong with you?

Your body doesn't have a "shut off valve" for pleasure. Basically, you're supposed to have limited resources. The fact that resources are now effectively infinite is the reason so many people are addicted to food and drugs. The brain was never equipped to naturally show restraint.

always gives me a chuckle

Attached: cavetreasure.jpg (1200x712, 234K)

where in the fuck is this from

hmphf well it should... the cheese doodles...

Bruh

Attached: Octopus armor.webm (720x404, 2M)

Have you never seen a map of the world?

N-NANI?!

Sure thing user, lets meet at your mom's house.

If you're asking if cephalopods will be the next major family to potentially evolve major intelligence? I think it's unlikely, but I suppose it's theoretically possible. From my understanding, cephalopd brains are small clusters of nerves and neurons separated into multiple parts, and while that enables them to have considerably extreme amounts of recall compared to animals with similar brain sizes. But I don't see any major environmental pressures that would encourage their brain mass to develop larger in the same way that humans did.

In short, humans were able to experience brain swelling (encephalopathy) due to a shrinking cranial ridge (a feature apes have) which is directly responsible for their jaw power. With less need for jaw power due to humans developing hunting techniques and using tools, the jaw muscles and cranial ridge shrunk and allowed the brain to swell in a way it couldn't do with such a thick cranial bone.

There would have to be some major changes in how cephalopds, specifically octopi, do things in order to push them to develop larger brains, and I think their short life cycle really limits the ability to do that.

Haha look at him go!

Squid are ambush predators. You’d probably be dead before you knew what hit you, let alone have time to aim a weapon and fire.

>be near human level intelligence
>stuck floating around with nothing to do
>play with your food cus you’re bored
Finding amusing ways to eat seals is one of their games.

Ha! Don't worry, the diver is fine. That is a basking shark. It uses its big "mouth" ass a funnel for krill and animal algea. They are completely harmless.

Not to mention that there's no real weapon you could bring with you that would help you against a squid of any notable size. They don't bleed, they don't really feel pain, stabbing them not only would be extremely difficult because of their rubbery flesh but even if you managed to do it (under water, mind you, which would be hard enough as is) it wouldn't slow them down in the slightest.

And if their goal is to chew on you, then you can stab all you want, they're going to wrap around you and start taking beak bites out of you before you can do much damage.

It's unlikely that a squid could kill a person outright, they don't really have a concept of constricting or strangling like snakes do, it's not how they hunt. But they could keep you from swimming to the surface and drown you as a side effect. In reality, they'd just bite you until they're done.

Because its an underwater explosion, most of the videos you've seen were air-burst just over water.

It's not that they just play with their food. Orcas are giant douche-bags because they target vulnerable animals (particularly whale calfs) and bully and beat the shit out of them until they can't swim any more, and then they don't even eat what they kill because a whale calf is like, more than a whole pod could eat.

They seem nice when they're tamed and docile, and even in the wild they can look playful and fun, but they're huge dicks to every other sea animal.

>water is kino and comfy
>but also fucking terryfing, especially at night and under it
it's a conflicting feeling

Attached: 1555423348861.jpg (4288x2848, 959K)

t. basking shark

humans are truly abhorrent, im no vegan fag but if you think about it pretty crazy we automate the execution of another lifeform

stoop kid/10

>im no vegan fag but if you think about it pretty crazy we automate the execution of another lifeform
How else do you feed a population of 7.3 billion? You gotta automate something.

Machines are literally doing the same things butchers, fishermen, and farmers have always done, just at a larger capacity.

how can you never have had crab???? do you live on the moon?

What is it called if a giant ape monster finger rapes a tentacle monster instead of the other way around?

the crabs are already dead

Good. Crab is a soft, fibrous meat that can be described as "sweet" in most cases. It's extremely tender, not tough at all, and doesn't really have a ton of flavor by itself, but because it's inherently brined in salt water it's got a nice tanginess to it. That's the best way I can describe it.

except its more like 3/4, if this was star wars earth would be a water planet

Only some sharks start experiencing issues when they stop swimming

yeah the crabs were already dead, painlessly drowned

Mother of god sauce

They're literally no more sophisticated than insects

>but i guess there's always gotta be explorers
Yeah and the best ones can fit in your hand.

I want ALL aquatic animals off this board!

Fucking hell that's so based

>up next: Moray Eel Eats Octopus

Attached: 1563472747366.png (421x500, 151K)

there is untapped horrorkino potential here

That dolphin probably thought at the last second that there was something in front of him in the water and that he needed to dodge it by jumping over it, not realizing there was an entire human on top of that board.

It's a very unique taste that's slightly sea watery and incredibly light and tender meat. It goes well when mixed with other sauces or butter.

If they're so smart why don't they invent anime and video games then.

But that's not deep. That's like 2m at max

quake_IV_stroggification.webm

because they're indeed smart