What did you think of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets?

Just the right number of planets.

What bodytype is that called?

Rihanna in fishnets

The two leads are fine in their roles actually, except for how Dane and Cara look like they could be brother and sister which makes their romance feel weird

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Looks like the shape of a glass that would hold an outlandish tropical drink at some tourist bar in the Bahamas

a shit

The opening scene is fantastic, the rest of it not so much.

best incestkino that wasn't even incest in my opinion. It had a safe message and the effects were good.

her face when she sees my 3 incher

nigga got a ps1 face

Why do women keep wearing those hideous rectangular bikini tops?

picture her reading to your kids

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It was a fun ride. I could get over the fact that special agent super elite space cops looked 20. But I was shocked they didn't turn out to be related and have a Luke Leia moment. I mean seriously, they look like twins. What's up with that casting?

Isn't that the question of the day?

I don’t have kids though

It wanted to recreate Fifth Element, but the leads didn't have any if the charisma. Actually none of the characters are very memorable.

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KEK
EEE
KEK

not him but I liked your quip bro

They’re very odd looking people to be movie stars. Both look like they’ve got a pill problem.

It's a decent fashion choice if you have itty bitties.

>Men don't hit The Wa-

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Thank you pal it means a lot to me

>Sidequests: The Movie

It was fun and visually stunning at times, but lacked the star power and over-the-top zaniness that made The Fifth Element a cult classic.

it was actually pretty good
the hate for the main characters is undeserved
the only lame part was that it's essentially a sci fi rehash of danceswithwolvesavatarpocahontasetc

youtube.com/watch?v=QBf118bdeEc
What is this scene supposed to convey?

Is that scene taking place on FHLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTIN PARADISE!?

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Gratuitous Rihanna shapeshifter was memorable. I think maybe they went with generic young white leads because it was based on some YA novel? Sort of the Twilight school of self insert casting.

movie was actually pretty good until rihanna came onscreen

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>What did you think of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets?
I thought the heist scene was really original.

Other than that, it relied too much on CG and it felt like the actors didn't know what they were acting against.

Blueblocker shades are amazing

It was based of a 70s French comic if i recall correctly.

>the hate for the main characters is undeserved
except for the part where they both come off as twats and ruin the entire movie with their complete lack of charm, charisma or chemistry.

Remember when this guy played James Dean?

>It was based of a 70s French comic if i recall correctly.
That Lucas used for inspiration for Star Wars.

The intro scene is kino and the rest of the movie quickly goes downhill as soon as Cara and that ugly twink who's the same height, weight, and body type as Cara show up on screen.

>except for the part where they both come off as twats and ruin the entire movie with their complete lack of charm, charisma or chemistry.
You'd think the director would've noticed the deadpan delivery of virtually every line of dialogue.

Cara and Rihanna.

That was it.

I stand corrected. Then I guess the casting director just has a type and wanted to get their rock's off.

Came to post exactly this, that whole 15-yo-doing-'90s-Keanu thing was fucking awful.

Terrible advertising, most people didn't know what it was about and others thought it was some shitty attempt at replacing or starting a new star wars/star trek copycat trilogy

How was Rihanna's acting?

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>Then I guess the casting director just has a type and wanted to get their rock's off.
It was like they tried to go for star power and failed.

yeah, I always thought Keanu Reeves was a bad actor, but watching this movie made me realize that he does his thing pretty well

>How was Rihanna's acting?
Passable. Just like all the other acting in the movie.

What a giant, giant pile of shit.

Shit. Her character was fucking stupid and totally worthless too. Added absolutely nothing to anything.

cara was qt but not qt enough to stop me from ending the stream for this really cringy movie

They cast a scrawny, weird looking manlet in a role that demanded a tall, handsome, charismatic action star.

I'm planning a rewatch since I grabbed the 4K version the other day. I do remember not hating it though.

Top tier intro and a great universe, but the casting was bad.
Also having Rhianna play a character that just does a Rihanna act was retarded.

The plot was meh, when you think about it, Mary Sue aliens choose to live in a lie rather than integrate to civilisation. Granted that's the same civilisation that destroyed their world but seeing them just blow out of the space station in their single ship is unfulfilling.

They managed to fuck up the adaptation of the comic book that inspired star wars and the fifth element. That should count as talent.

Usually I think Carra is a disgusting chav and lowlife what with her drug addiction, bad attitude, , her slovenly appearance , not to mention her acting out in a depraved sexual manner , Oh yes and her tasteless tattoos and phony style. Her lack of acting ability. Aside from that , I couldn't take my eyes off her in this movie. There's something so attractive about her like a raw animal magnetism. I .. I think I love her .

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Well she was a very popular model that was given a chance to act. Probably Weinstein did it.

Why doesn't she shave her fucking eye brows?

>Why doesn't she shave her fucking eye brows?
Every time she tries, the brows destroy the razor.

youtube.com/watch?v=q6oTziHKM_c

this opening montage was really good for me. Really enjoyed this movie, watched it twice.

Big eyebrows are cutes, that's why

Daily reminder that her American doppleganger is far superior.

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>this opening montage was really good for me. Really enjoyed this movie, watched it twice.
You can improve virtually everything with Bowie. But I agree, the opening was great.

Anyone here is more atracted to cue women when they are bisexuals or lesbian? I just want to convert them and make her worship my D.

>Daily reminder that her American doppleganger is far superior.
There's two of them!?!?!?!

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>turning my ginger waifu into that
Fuck you Besson you fucking Frog!

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you forgot to add wtfbbq

She cute

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her parents were rich high society. only reason she was a "model" in the first place was because she was a decent looking socialite from a very wealthy and networked family, e.g. the Jenners and Hadids.

I'm not doubting that but how can two pair of those eyebrows exist in the same solar system?!?!

Imagine the brow-jobs

>her parents were rich high society. only reason she was a "model" in the first place was because she was a decent looking socialite from a very wealthy and networked family, e.g. the Jenners and Hadids.
ERR MRRR GRRRD! WHITE PRIVILEGE!

Not enough Cara, too much everything else, too much Besson nonsense.

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Cara is cute.

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We just lucked out bro.

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3 actually

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reminder that dane dehaan lurks here

As stated in other places if the male leads in both Passengers and Valerian switched places both movies would have been a hell of a lot more interesting

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>SUPERPOWER BY 2031

yeah I'm sure of that, he doesn't have anything better to do than being here... totally believable.

we must keep her and Cara away from each other! their eyebrows could do the fusion dance and then we'd all be killed!

>3 actually
ooof. those eyes.

So he's not only a weird looking manlet, but a masochist as well?

>reminder that dane dehaan lurks here
If he does, I want him to know A Cure for Wellness was great.

Is Valerian the only decent movie she was in? She did have the lead role. I wonder if she'll fade into obscurity now hopefully. Maybe this newer younger American version of her will take all her parts from now on.Nepotism can only get you so far.

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isn't she an abomination homosexual?

Women shouldn't have rights

Seemed that Dane actually did post on Yea Forums at one point but it was a long time ago, like early 2014 before ASM 2 came out, he was like anonymously teasing everyone about what a rising star he thought he was, how we were about to see his breakout role

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"She's done for now! That career is dead!" increasingly nervous man says for the millionth time.

Yea Forums fears cara

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atrocious casting spoiled it.

He looks like a teenager with an old man's face, it's weird.

I fucking hate Pascal to the core of my being.

>Seemed that Dane actually did post on Yea Forums at one point but it was a long time ago, like early 2014 before ASM 2 came out, he was like anonymously teasing everyone about what a rising star he thought he was, how we were about to see his breakout role
Shouldn't have banked on that role...

Creepy incest casting is creepy

Now this is a solid idea. I can see it working.

>Creepy incest casting is creepy
>creepy
begone normalfaggot

what a bunch of cuties

This sounds like behind the scenes fanfic. And I find it offensive that Amy was offended by note taking.

Most offensive thing is how she expected Sinister Six to gross $2 billion.

TFA wasn't out yet at that time so Avatar and Titanic were the only movies to have ever done that...

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It added her sexy...

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Where might one find a download of the Sony leaks?

Amy is clearly a dumb cunt who should stick to erotic Steven Universe fanfic.

Meh. She is not that attractive in motion. And the characters "dramatic" death fell completely flat.

Here we go, it was late 2013 actually

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this desu. The main wass so retarded that they tried to hide it through even more retarded sidequests. Also
>6 gazzilion jews bullshit
>shit cgi
>shit actors

>Because Reddit is for fucking idiots.

based

Yeah, he did a decent job but absolutely did not look the part; so much so it was distracting
Better that most scifi but that doesn't say much

If only we had ROSE UP and supported him....

>screencapping faggotry because some fag was larping online
Why did everyone on Yea Forums turn into an easily offended grandma who believes bullshit lies?

Absolute trash fire directed by a certified hack starring trashiest actors they could find forever burying the chances for Valerian to ever be on screen. I'm still mad to this day and I will never be unmad.

thought it was interesting, in fact was intrigued by the premise and the whole setup was incredible, but then it boiled down some sjw storm of understanding and love.

better star wars

Dang, she really thought Spiderman was going to make Sony $12 billion in PROFITS? The fuck? It's like dumb fantasy math I used to do in the margins when I was bored in 6th grade social studies.

>Sooo, if I save literally all of my allowance every week starting now, I'll have $520 by the time I'm going on the orchestra trip. And I can probably buy gum in bulk for like, five cents a stick and sell it for a quarter, so if I invest $100 in gum I'll have $500, plus $420, so $920 all together. Wow, I'm like totally rich!

Lel'd

>Dang, she really thought Spiderman was going to make Sony $12 billion in PROFITS?
Well, she thought an all-woman ghostbusters would work.

And that's not the worst I've heard about her.

him and the bitch looked like siblings

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Leads were garbage, middle part where one gets caught by space orcs was dumb and a waste of space. Should have taken the wasted time and used it to establish the characters at the very beginning instead of fucking telling us what their characters were like and making it obvious from the get go the main leads are garbage since they can't fucking fit those descriptions.

you tried

An all-woman ghostbusters isn't that terrible an idea. You can make money doing that if you don't spend a shitload on making it and refrain from spending a few months telling people who like Ghostbusters to fuck off and die. But she's just on another planet with this Spiderman stuff. Disney paid $4.05 billion for Lucasfilm. So Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Labyrinth, Monkey Island, the whole package is worth $4.05 billion, and she's trying to sell Spiderman alone for "at least 5 billion dollars." Crazy.

she has the body of a ten year old and the face of my cousin daryl

great first 15 minutes
the rest is a mess
the casting was fine and I really, really wanted to like it like a new 5th Element.
It's no 5th Element

Came here to say this. Thank you.

Based and wholesomepilled.

What the FUCK is wrong with her eyebrows?!

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Two planks in the lead roles. They had less chemistry with each other than an arts teacher.

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Who do I believe?

I feel as though casting the nigger singer as a flubber alien was a total waste of money. Blacks don't go to science fiction movies.

Oh that Amy Pascal. Ok, I was thrown by the lack of ALL CAPS in the email. Yeah, it's remotely possible some of these film executives are stupid and didn't deserve to be hired.

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One of her best modelling pals is not only prettier but a better actress to boot.

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I thought that I would like Cara to sit on my face while I spread her ass cheeks and let her fart in my mouth.
Oh, and the movie sucked I guess.

She has a delicious body, have to admit.

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no homo but this guys voice is sexy as fuck

One of the biggest miscast in history, especially for Valerian himself. Dehan doesn't really fit the special agent role

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Cara can't act, we all knew that before she came out as a SJW lesbian which would help land her so called roles in tv shows & movies.

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Astroturfed talentless skank

Its plot was shit, the acting was terrible, there was no chemistry between the leads, the dialogue was cringey, and it stank of a cheap, rushed film.

And yet I loved it.

the weird french anime was better than the movie

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Another big production suffering from a crappy script.

Had the pieces of being something great, but need a better plot.

Biblical

Shit, it's Noel Edmonds.

What did this species contribute to the city?

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GiMmmE ThE CaSsSssSSsSsSssSsSSHHHHHhhh

beach niggers learning how to operate a space ship and even use advanced technologies out of nowhere was bullshit.

Damn, I heard of him first from Chronicle.
Really liked his version of Harry in TASM2.
Wished we could've seen more than 3 minutes of his Goblin cause I like it from what I've seen.

>wait, showbusiness ISN'T actually merit-based?
>omg, my phony high standards have been totally offended!
fuck off

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Fucking this.
Along with Aquaman, Phantom Menace and 5th Element it's one of my favorite "I don't give a single shit about plot or acting - just bombard me with crazy shit" movies.

>What did you think of Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets?

I actually liked it.

Watching it tonight. This better be good.

Couldn't finish it. This is the only movie I've ever stopped because of bad acting and I've watched all the Sharknado movies.

Terrible lesbian actor trying to pretend shes interested sexually in the little twink

I really wish that we could stop pretending that this Ben Shapiro looking bitch is attractive.

I liked this outfit.

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Angel.

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It was a 6/10 and I'm being very generous there. They needed different leads. Apart from not really looking like the characters they were intended to play. the whole romance between them seem completely off the mark since they had zero chemistry with each other.

Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson take £400 S&M sex bench into their LA home

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Literally everyone I knew said they thought they were supposed to be brother and sister. Everyone. I don't know how they fucked up the marketing/casting that bad, but yeah.

Which one of them you think is dom and sub?

Holy shit she's fucking PERFECT

Thought it was fun, but don't like the main actors.
Would definitely look forward to a sequel more than a new star wars movie.

>Well she was a very popular model
if you by popular mean pushed by her wealthy parents who own newspapers that kept giving her jobs then yes.

Anyone here remembers the plot of this movie without looking it up?

It's not a great movie but it was enjoyable. A little upset that it didn't get a sequel but so much other shit does.

I do, it's not very complicated

faggy space ayylmaos need tiny little pearlcreature because it's the last one in the universe that came from their planet that got BTFO by the alliance because they had a battle over their planet. This creature is extremely valuable and is also the objective of the incest agents. It turns out the pearlayylmaos are hiding within the giant space station and just want to create a new home. Some general or admiral or whatever is trying to cover up that he was responsible for destroying their planet because he wanted to fight the enemies and cba to check if the planet was uninhabitated first.
Also there's a slutty shapechanger rihanna that somehow dies by getting punctured even though she's a jelloblob.

They have to take that animal thing that shits out marbles back to the aliens so they can get a new planet.

Valerian made me depressed because I realized how Besson is unable to recapture any of the magic of his previous movies. Especially Fifth Element.

does he shave his eyelashes off as a power move? so everyone he talks to has to think about what the fuck is wrong with his face

some blue aliens got REMOVE'd and sexy incest twins had to pull a budget Mass Effect and uncover the truth.

Also Rhianna was in it as some opressed person or something and there was a pretty good scene with a black market in another dimension.

I WAITED 20 MOTHER FUCKING YEARS FOR THAT PEDO BESSON TO MAKE ANOTHER SCI-FI MOVIE AND HE FUCKS ME IN THE ASS WITH THIS WRETCHED PIECE OF FUCKING TRASH STARRING TO UGLY SCRAWNLY LOOKING GREMLINS!!!FACT!!!

Are Cara and the guy family???

That's just bad acting. Because if you think about it, wouldn't a twink be halfway to what she likes?

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>Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Cara and the Wastebasket of a Thousand Orgasms

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How the fuck did she get this role anyway?

>wanted to watch this
>didn't get around to watching it
>everyone says it's awful
>but it looks so pretty
>but everyone says the actors are awful

A-at least the comics look pretty

>tfw this wasn't in the movie

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Both the incest twins come from rich connected families. The dude is the more puzzling choice.

Preteen female

It is pretty. The movie is ok. Just ok. The leads are bad.

how do i get a saxon gf

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didn't need any planets at all

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>the fuck did she get this role anyway?

Daddy partially funded the film

talk about polar opposite of fridge

She looks like she'd look great sucking dick.

worst casting of all time.
I seriously can't think of a worse miscast movie.

>Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planks

agreed

Intro > first half > second half > finale with that guilt complex about refugees

She doesn't like that. She prefers jummy pussy.

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oven?

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>when a regular girl gets shilled into popularity because she is the heir to some media powerhouse

Vaginatarian and the Clitty of a Thousand Panties

For me, the bigger problem with Rihanna isn't her acting, it's how they mixed her character's voice into the audio. She never sounds like she's in the same scene with the other actors.

>An all-woman ghostbusters isn't that terrible an idea
It was and it showed.

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The Flute

this woman's eyebrows are unneccessary and I find them offensive

>ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

it was good until that nigger had her series of events
they were wholly pointless and detracted from what was actually happening
it also stood out as an obvious ploy to make niggers and women interested in the movie

it isn't and the execution sucked.

why would anyone be afraid of a faggot?

>delicious
like a frankfurter

>Fun movie, bad casting for the male lead.
Yeah, what the fuck was his problem?

fishing rods

it's only one guy

I hate rich people so damn much

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smidge

>Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson take £400 S&M sex bench into their LA home
Totally NOT staged as a joke on the intrusive paparazzi...

Show me your WAR FACE!

ben affleck or whoever wouldn't have fit in there either tho imho

It was unbelievable shitty and unwatchable despite the visuals but even the visuals are too videogamy in some scenes. I really disliked watching this had to turn it off 1 hour before the end

Cara was shit too.

just a prank bro lmao

My problem is that they both looked like coked up Eurotrash.

Nature disagrees

Great movie that has that 70s French sci ti feel to it like The Incal. Besson is perfect to direct too and it just feels like another wacky sci fi homerun like Fifth Element

Shut the fuck up you incel loser. Her part was fun and she acted great

Why would you lie about that?
They were in the middle of plot and then this comes up and has no connection to what was happening up until then. The entire sequence and musical scene were out of place and cringey.
Please stop pretending to be retarded.

>If he does, I want him to know A Cure for Wellness was great.
this

- IGN

Shut up marvel faggot. Movies aren’t meant to be formulaic