BUT IT'S MY CAR!

MORE LIKE SEINFELD FOR BRAINLETS

FRIENDS IS AN IMMENSELY DUMBER SHOW

OH FUCK

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but Seinfeld already is Seinfeld for millennials
op pic is Seinfeld for zoomertards

jery get kindl

>Jerry gets a tablet that's not from Apple
Pure Kino

GARG EAT ASS

boomer adults also watched seinfeld.

I thought of one yesterday.

>through some clerical errors, George is still listed as a millionaire via Susan's fortunes
>George immediately signs up to be a sugar daddy through seekingarrangement
>he starts dating supermodels for a week at a time but is constantly panicking to Jerry because he's going broke.
>Kramer walks out of his apartment with three of the supermodels George was dating

Elaine signs up through the website and ends up meeting Puddy, who is now a billionaire investor, Puddy abandons Elaine at a fancy restaurant

krame participate in global climate strike

KRAME: IT's GETTIN HOT IN HERE JERY

>Kramer starts dating a tranny he met at the cafe who never revealed that she’s a tranny
>she has a kind of.. husky voice Jerry
>who knows maybe she’s a weightlifter
>hahaha cue laugh track
>later on in the episode Kramer goes to the tranny’s apartment and sees her dilating, slams the door shut and goes back to tell Jerry
>She had it right up there, going to town! They call it dilation Jerry! Dilation!
>subplot b: George starts working for doordash, is sent to pick up a pizza but is instead given a box of jelly donuts
>subplot c: Elaine is tricked into a “modeling” gig which is actually her pressing her feet into cake while a guy takes pictures of it and posts it on his fetish instagram

Elaine buys hitachi
Elaine complains men can't satisfy her

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Kramer starts podcast about podcasts

George gets a job as a dog walker on one of those dog walking apps but gets in trouble when he feeds it a rice krispie treat because the dog has diabetes

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jeri get microsoft serfice

kek

Jerry get rape accusation

>tfw you are George

newfig get mad

wouldnt degrassi be more fitting?

Jerry gets an icar

post Phoebe feet

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Kramer tries to start his own food delivery service where he brings food to people before they've ordered anything

George gets cancelled

Based and underrated post

Underrated post

Elaine #MeToos Jerry

millennial cope

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George votes trump
>Jerry: He's an antisemite!
>George: But he is a semite! I read it on the dark web.

>you forgot a joke or punchline though
this
keep it up though

>Jerry gets a smart fridge
>Kramer breaks it somehow, but vows to get it fixed for Jerry; "don't worry Jerry, I know a guy"
>the fridge is fixed, but the language is stuck in Chinese; it automatically orders strange food items to be sent to the apartment
>Elaine: What is this? (holding up a bottle of strange liquid with Chinese script on it)
>Jerry: Oh the fridge ordered it for me. It's actually not that bad.
>Elaine: Your refrigerator ordered it for you?
>Jerry: Kramer.

Update iPhone George

*bass wobble

jery get ipad

george finds out the girls he is fapping to on snapchat and tiktok are underage.

my roommate had a hitachi. i remember i helped her move in and she asked if i had space in my backpack for it because it didn't fit in her suitcase.

that thing makes a noise right? i'm pretty sure she'd wait til i wasn't home to use it.

>and male

*bass riff*

Elaine: all I’m saying jerry is you should try it out!
Jerry: is tinder really that much of a big deal?
Elaine: yes Jerry! Everyone uses it
Jerry: so I’ve heard...
Elaine: so will you download it?
Jerry: give it a rest! I’ll do it now so it will shut you up!
[jerry downloads it]
Jerry: hey! I got a match already
Elaine: show me [looks at jerry’s Phone] hello sherry-Lynn. That’s a pretty trashy name
Jerry: what do I say?
Elaine: say something blunt
Jerry: why would I do that?
Elaine: well don’t say hey, everyone says hey
Jerry: okay how about “wanna meet up for coffee sometime? I know a great place down 5th Avenue”
Elaine: blech!
Jerry: what was wrong with that?
Elaine: maybe you’re right, maybe tinder isn’t for you
Jerry: hey where did she go? I can’t find the conversation
Elaine: *awkward expression* you my friend just got unmatched
Jerry: well what’s the point of matching with me then? You swipe right just to undo the swipe? Why bother?

[elain laughs in slut]
*bass twang*

[jerry comes back to the apartment, Newman is kissing a girl goodbye]
Girl: that was the best sex ever, see you soon
Newman: same to you sherry-Lynn
Seinfeld: *whimpers* Newman!

Bewp beeww bop bop be bop

Jerry racecar driver.

George getting catfished would actually be a legitimate episode.

>the gangs finds Elaine's nudes on /r/gonewild

based joey stepping on chandler's shoe

Based

>Newman: same to you sherry-Lynn
>Seinfeld: *whimpers* Newman!
okay i laughed

This is fucking embarrassing, you write like English is your second language.

pads. Pads for jerry

O' Jerry Of The Annointed Pads Of I

jerry got ipad

>Elaine is tricked into a “modeling” gig which is actually her pressing her feet into cake while a guy takes pictures of it and posts it on his fetish instagram
ewww haha too gross hahaha

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>wahh nobody gives as much of a shit about texting as me

>Kramer creates a femavatar to scam virgins in WoW and Elaine becomes offended until she realizes how much money she could make with an actual female voice
>George goes on a date within view of an ugly gym rat who angrily repeats “w-when will they learn”, and seeks an explanation from Jerry
>by the end of the episode, Elaine is hit on by someone in WoW chat who has the gym rat’s voice while George overhears, causing George to pay Elaine to repeat “do you even lift” into the microphone

Delivery service where he delivers people to the restaurant

>Kramer gets deported for being a Russan spy

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>”I’ve got ten or twelve takeout menus in the seat pocket and I burn one of those incense cakes to make people hungry. It’s foolproof, Jerry!”
>”incense cakes?”
>”you know, like the ones at Subway! They burn them to make the place smell like food! It makes you hungrier!”

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Had a fucking shit day, but absolutely lost it at 'Newoman?!'

[A distressed George enters Jerry's apartment]
George: Well, it finally happened. It had to happen sooner or later, and it's happened!
Jerry: What? What happened?
[George calms down]
George: I'm a cuckold.
[laughter]
Jerry: A cuckold?
George: A cuckold, Jerry! A cuck! Emily cucked me!
Jerry: She cucked you!
George: With Tyrone.
[laughter]
Jerry: With Tyrone!
George: With Tyrone, Jerry!
Jerry: I don't believe this. How did this happen?
George: I went out of my apartment for a few minutes... I must have left a webpage open... I come back and Emily's looking at my Blacked.com subscription.
[laughter]
Jerry: Blacked?
George: It was a free trial!
[laughter]
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well, go on.
George: Next thing I know she's trying to talk me into sleeping with Tyrone. She said all the best New Yorkers are doing it.
[laughter]
Jerry: So what'd you say?
[pause]
George: I said yes.
[laughter]
Jerry: You said yes!
George: I said yes. So Tyrone comes over, they start getting into it and I'm just sitting there watching. I've never been so humiliated! I ran out of my apartment and threw up on the sidewalk.
[laughter]
Jerry; Well, at least you're eligible for serving in DeBlasio's administration.
[laughter]
[bass line]

jery make post

All of these are great since I've watched so much Seinfeld I'm reading it in their voices.

>LIKE A MUPPET JERRY

nice hoverhand joey

K: *busts in door* IT’S ALL OVER JERRY, ALL OVER
J: What?! WHAT?! Ahhh 911 part two! Get to the bunker!
K: No no no, the router Jerry! The internet is down!
J: Ahhh!
E: Even Netflix is down?!
K: squeaks*. All gone
G: but how am I gonna check for new marvel funko pops?!
K: George that’s not what’s important, there’s a new meme coming out! We’re missing it all!
J: wait a minute, last time this happened someone was using our bandwidth to torrent YIFY
K: A 10 V 10
J: NEWMAN!

30+year old boomers aren't millenials

'Researchers and popular media use the early 1980s as starting birth years and the mid-1990s to early 2000s as ending birth years, with 1981 to 1996 a widely accepted definition'

>niggas in Seinfeld
no way, not even in the 2010's

>K: *bends down and sniffs*
lost it there

>Newman is a Nu-male.
>George buys an entire supreme wardrobe, but finds out Kramer just spraypainted it onto his own clothes and resold them for massive profit.
>Jerry makes an app that does nothing, and it does incredibly well. Then someone finds a security exploit in it and he's forced to give all the money he got away due to lawsuits.
>Elaine takes up streaming and makes a lot of money showing off her body. Kramer proceeds to also try streaming, and magically ends up doing better than her for no foreseeable reason. She quits streaming, and Kramer does too when he gets banned for yelling Nigger repeatedly.

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genuinely solid and authentic seinfeld plot