Worst movie theater experiences?

same thing happened to me

my falcon caused permanent facial disfiguration on a small child while I was distracted flipping my crab legs during Despicable Me 2. I was sentenced to 5 years in prison

Your local cinema has showers?

Saw Endgame in a really large cinema with a few friends who weren't expecting much from the film. Every mindless drone in the building laughed obnoxiously at every stupid joke and sometimes even laughed at things which were not jokes, my friends and I responded with laughing loudly to obstruct the screening. Toward the end where le sad moemonts are, every faggot was sniffing and crying, to which my friends and I responded with sniffing loudly to mock the others.

Are you Asian?

i hate when that happens, all the fucking time man

Why would that matter?

>Sherlock Gnomes got your child killed

>coffee was lukewarm
>the penis inspection officer had cold hands
>no one in the audience liked me giving them the critique of a scene and what it meant to the overarching narrative
>person next to me complained about my ravioli having too pungent an aroma
No wonder the angry birds film crashed, the audience was full of plebs

I can clearly remember the moment when I became depressed.
>be young teenager
>go see ghost rider with a friend
>half way into the movie, suddenly lose interest
>become aware of my surroundings
>feeling of detachment as I look around and see my friend as well as other people in the theater enjoying the movie
>I become very very sad, but at the same time puzzled as to why I am feeling the way I am
>leave the movie unsatisfied, sad and confused.
>live like this for the next 10 years before I finally come to terms with it.
FUCK GHOST RIDER

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I saw Jurassic World while a bit high and while enjoying a few theater beers, and it was so bad it killed my entire buzz

I tried the popcorn trick once but my gf didn’t tell me she got buttered popcorn so all I ended up with was a greasy penis and not in a good way

Don't even remember what movie it was but I was a kid and my dad took me to see it and I was excited to see a movie with him, but he just bought me a ticket and went to get drunk for 2 hours. I think I was around 10 at the time, maybe younger.

Shut up ribbit.

I hate normals as much as the next faggot, but this is a 13 year old's idea of being funny and edgy.

kek, south park did like a season-long story arc about this.

Started laughing at the end of Endgame and this little girl in the front row gave me the death stare and started crying. I couldn't stop laughing because I was stoned too so her dad starts getting in my face and the whole theater started booing me. I got paranoid and ran away tripping down the aisle as everyone cheered. One dude was like "bro that dude just got flexed on big time haha". I ran out the theater and waited for my friend in the parking lot. He came back like 45 minutes later so no one saw me and him together. He said he got held up at the restroom but he was lying. I haven't got over it yet.

Shit myself during Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Luckily I was by myself and not that many people were there so I didn't have to leave early.

why'd you run away you gave the bugmen a victory

Serves you right for smoking drugs, normie.
>by myself
>didn't leave early
This is exactly the kind of behavior I would expect from someone who browses Yea Forums

how come no one gets this reference when i say it

Are the stories of Americans in theaters screaming and clapping and cheering true? Because that honestly sounds awful to pay for a ticket and then have a bunch of people shouting over it.

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Yea Forums is full of newfags from reddit.

Based audience

>go to see a late-in-the-release-cycle screening of The Dark Knight Rises alone
>screen is empty apart from me and a couple of other people
>perfect.exe
>a loud black woman walks into the theatre followed by her husband, boyfriend, beta orbiter, or whatever juggling a frankly preposterous amount of food and drinks
>the whole room is virtually empty but naturally they choose to sit right in front of me
>she spends the first half an hour shovelling handfuls of food into her gaping maw while asking him to explain to her what was happening because she hadn't seen the previous movies
>he was trying to shut her up but it didn't work
>he didn't get to eat any of the food
Despite all this it was still in the top three best birthdays I've ever had and wasn't as bad of an experience for me as it was for that guy.

100% true. Blacks especially.
I clapped when I watched spiderman 2 in theaters. I laughed and screamed when bradu pittu's dog chomped on that manson kid's balls in Once upon a time in Hollywood.
You should try actually getting involved in the energy of the movie your watching, especially with a crowd. It's a lot of fun.

sounds fucking awful, glad no americans or black people live here

>Be Eurofag
>Go watch a movie with friends
>A bunch of Arab shitskins are sitting a few row below us
>They are loud and rowdy throughout the movie
>They also mess around on their phones and some asshole among them loudly spoil certain scenes from the movie
>Eventually some other people tell them to shut the fuck up
>The Arabs can't comprehend why someone could be mad at their behaviour
>Proceed to yell some retarded shit back
>Big fight breaks out
>Lights switch on and security are trying to break it up while telling the brawlers police is on the way
>My friends and I just head out while this is going on
>Once I'm home I realise I forgot to ask for a refund
>I also realised Arabs are garbage people

Fuck you and fuck hummus

which state in Europe?

Same thing happened here, except the guys that told them to shut the fuck up were Russian, they beat them and threw them out the fire exit. The fire alarms went off and when staff came in everyone played cool.

It took me a while to figure out what I was looking at from the thumbnail in the catalog. How does that even happen?

This story could've happened anywhere in Western/Northern Europe so giving you a specific answer is pointless

Shit user, I fell for you. Little things like this haunt you for life.

Same here, it happened during a screening of Hereditary,. They were continuously laughing and speaking in their gibberish out loud. Say what you want about the horrific potential of A24 movies, but show some fucking respect for the audience

Why is it always the fucking Arabs? Not even the nogs behave in such a disrespectful manner

he cute

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Is that person stuck?

Its not "getting a reference" when you quote it verbatim. Add some variance to the story and make it your own. No one is impressed that you typed out the same thing that people have already said over and over again.

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>tfw the cinema shaman won't stop chanting during the movie

your mom sucking me off during titanic

You need to be 18 to post here.

IT Part 1. Only movie I ever walked out of

Have you tried burning a John Goodman effigy before entering the theatre? Seems to chase away a good number of cinema shamans.

hahahahahaha

t. nigger

I went to see IT Part 2 recently and left halfway through. I sat next to this morbidly obese asshole who, in the process of getting to his seat, knocked my popcorn right out of my hands with his fat ass and only said "oops". He then sat down, started gorging himself with one of everything from concessions, and let his fat spill over into my space.

Then, halfway through the movie, he let out one of the most horrendous farts I've ever smelled. I was on the verge of vomiting so I got up and left. Fat people should be banned from movie theaters.

Good

I saw IT Chapter 2 the other day and I was one of 5 people in the theater, and 3 of them were on their phones throughout the movie. I was close enough to see that they were on Facebook and Instagram, not even looking up an actor or something. I seriously hate people.

>his cinema doesn't have phoneposter traps

Thats gotta hurt!

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Based

>ateef rafiq

It’s a start.
Tbqh he deserved it for fucking around with his phone in the cinema

>cinema hired a singles inspector to check people before a movie starts
>hired a call girl to pretend to be my gf
>she leaves before the inspector gets here
>says i only paid for 10 minutes
>get caught
>he drags me out as everyone laughs
>had to call my mom's bf to pick me up
>just want to go home to and eat some crab cakes while spending time on Yea Forums
>we're out of crab cakes so I break down crying
>can hear my mom's bf laughing at me from the living room whilst he eats the last of them

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>fire exits in the building were blocked during the fire

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P E R U
E
R
U

P-preasu i dote undastaad

Do this again except during the Joker opening weekend. I'd love to see robots vs. manlets. And then an action movie based on the designated shooter.

What a nightmare. That's why I pirate movies and bring my own snacks.

Shouldn't you have responded to sad scenes by laughing?

>One deceased child's aunt recounted their conversation during the fire in which the victim stated; "everything burns and the doors are locked in the cinema"

why does this hurt so much bros

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>become aware of my surroundings
Good movies make sure this doesn't happen. Snyder understands this.

>men in black 3
>not many ppl there
>entire row behind us is filled with immigrants
>they wont shut the fuck up
>people further up throws candy and popcorn at them
>it flies over them and hits my head
>they keep talking all through the movie, no one wants to say anything cuz we don't want to get beat up
>i've had enough
>turn around and ask them to be quiet
>they call me an asshole and say they'll kick my ass
>i get up to get staff
>forcot i unbuckled my pants after i ate chocolate
>to keep them from fallinf down i waddle out like i shit my pants
>tell staff, they don't care
>mention yhey said they'll kick my ass
>they act like it's a human rights violation and rush to the theatre
>fuck yeah
>all they do is to gently tell them to be quiet while i stand next to them like a snitch
>that's it
>sit down, turns out i missed some impirtant plot point
>movie sucked anyway
Fuck Sweden for everyone being a pussy and fuck immigrants most of all. It's like mass importing a bunch of retarded hyenas to a forest full of mice who are afraid to look each other in ghe eyes

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I really like sushi and there was not one single person in the movie that likes sushi. I will not tolerate this level of injustice and lack of representation.

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>this little girl in the front row gave me the death stare and started crying
She wanted it

White man here. If it's not a serious movie with a deep plot and you're super invested? Black people shouting is one of the funniest things in life. They're really enhancing the experience for me. You know you're gonna get hassle of some kind going outside to a theater. But a negro minstrel show is a bonus if you have a sense of humor.

That was me. Oops.

whoa what if it was the same theater

You were the only pussy in that story snitch bitch.

Bad experience. But not for me kek.

>go to watch peter Jackson’s king kong at the odeon.
>go with 7 m8s. We’re all smoking pot on the drive up to the cinema.
>we get the front of middle section that everyone else has to walk past to get to the stairs on either side.
>trailers start, high as fuck. Laughing at shit
>movie starts.
>about 5 minutes in this absolute guido with shoulder length hair swaggers in carrying two extra large buckets of popcorn.
>he’s waiting for his girlfriend, but annoyingly just slow walking in grit of us during the movie and soaking up the attention staring back at the audience.
>whilst looking up at audience he trips over one of my friends feet “oh fuck” falls face first and drops about 4 pounds of popcorn all over the floor.
>all 8 of us are high as fuck and start laughing at him as loud as humanly possible.
>a wave of snickering flows over the rest of the cinema
>guido gets up and shuffles off sheepishly with his girlfriend as we all mercilessly heckle him.

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thinkin bout those beans

Because of impotence. You know people are in trouble from something easily fixed, yet can do nothing about it. Sucks, bro. But hey that's what happens when Jews cut corners.

OH NONONONO

>forcot i unbuckled my pants after i ate chocolate
wut

To be fair, it was Sweden. He could have died.

I had eaten so much my pants were tight

does this really happen bros
something's fishy........

>not wearing your comfy kino sweatpants
never gonna make it user

it was in russia, it was slav incompetence not a jewish conspiracy

>see Spider-Man Far From Home
>giant green spot on lower left of screen for whole movie
>mostly empty theater aside from old couple who brought their grandkids
>grandkids don't give a shit about the movie, stay on their zoomie phones and talk to each other the whole time
>old farts laugh at every awful joke
I wouldn't have cared as much if the movie were any good. But the first half was inconsequential bullshit teen drama garbage and the second half was a bastardization of Spider-Man. Mysterio also wasn't enough of a goofball and his backstory was basically Vulture's backstory in Homecoming but everything about it was handled way sloppier, and the villain twist reveal felt weird, forced, and out of place as he named a bunch of his cronies that never actually mattered or appeared in the story again save for like 2 of them. Garbage movie, garbage theater experience.

>the cheese bursts out the opening and sprays all over my pants
haha you fucking goon

Yeah. Pretty much everyone I know does it
I do, now. This was like 2012

>see Rogue One a week after it comes out with friends
>Theater is fucking packed
>Get towards the end of the movie
>Scene with Jyn Erson and Cassian Andor about to kick the bucket
>Kid behind me loudly says "ARE THEY DEAD!? Oh..."

Sweden is a fucking dumping ground my guy, nobody actually willingly lives there anymore except nigs

I live in a small Swedish town. 10 years ago it was beautiful. Now there are bdggars everywhere and several stores with signs in Arabic.
My aunt lives in a neighboring town, they turned an old school there into a place where immigrants can stay and it legit looks like a war zone now.

>Apollo 11
>forgot to buy tickets online
>only seats left are in the back row
>sitting next to me are these two guys and a girl
>film starts, one's still using his phone (full brightness of course)
>finally stops
>starts making really loud comments to his friends
>not even whispering, basically just talking
>they keep going, laughing as well
>even when Neil's on the fucking moon they're chatting and laughing
>each goes for a piss when they're bored so I have to get up six times
>film ends
>glare at them and 'accidentally' knock his zimmer frame down the stairs
Fucking old people, I wish I was making this up

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comfy kino sweat pants with a stealth black hoodi

Some guy chided me for talking during a movie.
He honestly was interested in watching "50 Shades of Grey". I think he was a fag.

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>see movie
>alone in bathroom after, using the urinal
>suddenly shart in mart starts wanting to break through
>switch to stall
>turns out I did shart a little
>can't fully wipe it out with 1/8th ply shit toilet paper
>leaving theater
>run into girl I know
>turns out she lives right by me now
>we ride the train the whole way together
>doesn't seem weird about anything but can't help but feel she must have smelled it

Usually not. An exception is my experience is if you see a big blockbuster on opening night. I did this for Episode 7 and it was a miserable experience.

>Falcon on screen at any point
clap
>lightsaber turns on
clap
>Finn finds the training remote on the Falcon while he's looking for something
clap

Anything that was in the OT got applause and nothing else. Really says a lot about who enjoys these awful movies

based

avengers end game

> film is going to be shit
> first 15 minutes are unwatchable garbage
> try to leave
> row of people yelling and screaming
> "wait, what the actual fuck?"
> they are yelling at the film because antman or some shit
> people yell and clap and cheer for almost 3 hours
> "holy shit this is worst than Return of the King"
> film ends
> i told my friends to stay the fuck out of my life

fuck theaters, i watch everthing in my fucking bed now

>taking my elderly mom to the cinema for her birthday
>cinema packed with young adults and teenagers and hear snickering and "woah look at that guy and his mommy!"
>sit in front of a group of black teenagers
>throughout the film they keep yelling out "MOMMY" and "wahhhhhh mommy" and the whole cinema giggles
>can hear them giggling and farting loudly throughout the film
>film ends and when my mom gets up I see lots of popcorn in her hair
>someone wiped a booger on her head

So yeah. Not the greatest experience ever.

>Watching Valerian
>Watching Suicide Squad
>Watching TLJ (even if venue was kino - small kinoplex in Dublin)
>Watching Captain Marvel

based helpful and honest user. may fortune guide you to wealth and hapiness

robert is a great guy

Why didn't you shoot the place up? I unironically wouldn't be able to stop myself from killing people if they messed with my mom. I'd just keep hitting and never stop.

based

I never understand these obnoxious laugh retards in every Disney movie. There are no live actors in the room... who are they laughing for when they’re often so obviously faking?

Joker (2019)

and then everyone clapped

you have to get rid of the baggage you're carrying around, otherwise it'll be around with you all the time, simple as. let go

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>sniffing loudly
probably just thought you needed to blow your nose my zoomer friend

>Sneak in a Subway sandwich from next door since fuck paying the prices at the theater
>Start eating my sandwich while watching the movie
>Halfway through I realize I won't be able to finish it since I'm already full
>Start tearing the sandwich apart and throwing it all over the theater room
CLEAN IT UP

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what the fuck

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went to my own private cinema, invited a few hundred of my closest friends.
realised i was 6´4, had a 10 inch dick, made 6 figures, bought my 5 million yen house with cash, sat next to my super model girlfriend fiancée wife, and our four children, with my lambourghini limousine outside, remember my five degrees, three masters and two phds, remember my private helicopter waiting on the roof just in case, remember my private island.
remember i´m a typical poster on here
bagged my first girlfriend when i was 15 and moved in with her and her hot twin sister at 15.5

Yea then they went and got free refills, felt pretty bad

haha
cheese punter

>go to cinema with mom and her boyfriend
>he buys us tickets and gets me some popcorn
>my mom goes to the bathroom
>don't want to be waiting alone with him in awkward silence
>"yeah, I gotta go too"
>stand at urinal pretending
>he comes in a second later
>can't piss because I don't need one
>he thinks I'm just nervous
>try desperately to squeeze some out, but in vain
>he finishes, washes his hands and walks out
>hear him quietly chuckling

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Fatlards with food

i streamed it, fell asleep after about 20 minutes and woke at 1h30.
didn´t feel i had missed anything, same scenes repeating over and over.
watched the last half, not much happened.
i think it was made for children, and not really for me.
infinity war was a bit better. end game just felt drawn out and a bit pointless.

wasted digits

you sound like a good time

it´s a pity that every real swede hasn´t found out how to make ultra-low yield tactical nukes by now, and aren´t releasing them whenever filthy invaders show themselves.

yeah you deserve it for seeing MCU spidey

next time, just shit your pants while standing there, then zip up, put a smug face on and make eye contact with him as you walk out.
works every time.

>everything burns and the doors are locked in the cinema
holy shit that's a terrifying in its mundanity
I would doubt its delivery would be as deadpan or monotone as this text depicts it, but fuck
>everything burns and the doors are locked
it's a kino title though have to admit

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Sounds like a GY!BE abum

>zimmer
???

i´ve never known any other way of being, for as far back as i can remember.
even when i was 10.
i suppose i missed out on something, perhaps that something is called happiness, contentment.

Sounds like you should just get it over with and ask the chad to pound your boihole

lmao
Is this just a day in the life?
Is everything like this for you? It's some Mr.Bean shit.

>Go to see the first showing of the day for Dora
>Ticket ripper looks at me with suspicion, but doesn't say anything
>I wait a few minutes into the movie so no one sees me as I go to my seat all the way in the empty back row
>As soon as Moner is on screen, I start fapping
>Edge throughout the entire movie, my balls are on fire
>I start moaning uncontrollably and pound my arm rest as I'm starting to climax during the movie's finale
>Hear some confused voices wondering what's happening
>I yell out "AGHHHHHHHHHHH I'M FUCKING COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG AHAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>My jizz manages to shoot from the back row all the way to the screen where it splatters and dribbles
>Someone runs out of the theater to get a manager
>I leave my mess on the floor and lean over the stair railing, eyeing the entry door below
>Once the manager enters, I throw myself over the railing by the door and break my legs
>I'm taken to the ER via ambulance and since I have no insurance, I'm now bankrupt
>Couldn't tell my parents how I broke my legs, so I lied and said I was out skateboarding (I don't own a skateboard)
There are worse ways to get kicked out of a movie theater and be in crippling debt.

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>be Euro
>decide to watch Endgame while I'm visiting Florida
>go to a Mexican theater because the tickets are dirt cheap for some reason, and it's pretty close
>me and my friends are literally the only non-Hispanics there
>sit down, and realize that the movie screen is absolutely covered in filth, there are giant "smears" all over it, almost as if it is covered in grease stains somehow
>seems to be playing at 360p, the quality is atrocious
>Hispanic children won't fucking stop running up and down the aisles, screaming, shouting, crying, etc, for the entire movie
Never again

I lie I did go again, and everything went fine that time. But that's probably because it was empty.

They laugh to show they have human emotions, but really they're just pretending.

>5 million yen

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>my mom goes to the bathroom
I thought he'd go with her and then wouldn't come back until the end of the movie. Also you're a cuck for letting your mom date someone.

I've heard of this black audience enhancing a shitty film phenomenon.
I've also heard that the best films to watch with such an audience is a horror film.

> Go on second or third date with a girl
> Over dinner, she spaghettis and tells me about her suicide attempts
> Oh this date is not going well.
> Go to movie
> Towards the end there's -- you guessed it -- a suicide attempt.

> MFW

> She runs to the foyer because flashbacks
> Fuck this. I stay and watch the end of the film -- and the credits.

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I generally only see it happen at big event movies like Endgame. Although, it also happened at the end of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which effectively killed me inside.

>wanted to see a movie
>theatre is empty
>movie starts
>one guy walks in
>looks at his card for 5s
>walks up next to me and sits down
>he did nothing but enjoy the movie
>I was too autistic to stand up and get another free seat so I sat there angry

I feel you user.
My comfy kino-going pants are too tight now too.
It's been a bad year.

I thought it was a meme until I lived there, and went to the movies a few times.
People clapping because they're excited wouldn't be weird to me, it's the fact people were silent through most of the movie and only applauded at the fucking credits that weirded me out.

The creators can't hear them, I truly don't get it

Larry David is that you?

>Towards the end there's -- you guessed it -- a suicide attempt.
She might have seen it beforehand and made up the story to trigger a flag event like in a dating sim. Chad move ignoring it though.

Kino. Should've became his bro.

Maybe if it's a slasher, but otherwise it just kills the movie's atmosphere. Made Get Out pretty fun though.

>visiting parents over the summer
>they live right next to mexico
>go to their local kinoplex to watch midsommar late night on a saturday
>theater is full of dumb mexican teenagers who laugh every five minutes
>groups of mexican teens sneaking into the theater an hour into the movie
>mexican takes call from inside the theater
>white couple next to me is whispering to eachother throughout the whole movie
>at least 4 groups of teens leave during the sex scene
>i'm literally the only person who stays through the credits to listen to the sick walker bros song and pay my respects to the kino industry
>outside the theater there's a bunch of teens just hanging around the parking lot for some reason
>degenerate latinos and sexed up latinas standing in circles in the parking lot smoking weed, there were at least 10 groups, one of them had like 20 people, most 4-6.
>i feel like i'm going to get stabbed on the way to my car
>get to my car
>check all my windows to make sure they weren't smashed in
>someone left a spanish flyer for the local church on my windshield

>>person next to me complained about my ravioli having too pungent an aroma

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Girl behind me kept putting her feet up on my chair but wouldn't take her shoes off.

>everything burns and the doors are locked in the cinema
Positively Lynchian.

don’t remember the best but I for sure remember the worse. It was a packed theater while watching Batman V Superman my seat was the perfect distance from the screen and centered. As the last preview played I saw a couple of ushers walk in and put some type of fucking high chair device on the seat directly in front of me. It’s not to bad I can see over it. But then this little fuck comes waddling through the aisle. This fuck is so fucking small that nobody has to adjust their legs when he walks pass them but he says excuse me anyway. When he arrives in front of that booster seat he nods to the gentleman next to it and the guy proceeds to pick him up with ease and place him on that midget throne. Now my view is completely fucked. I have to stare at this abominations bald spot the entire fucking movie. I get irritated half way through and start to chuck popcorn at this fucks bald spot. When the film was over his head was covered with bruises from the popcorn. I later found out that deformed son of immortan Joe looking asshole was Warick Davis.

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I hate when that happens, but sometimes you get the stink anyway

>at least 4 groups of teens leave during the sex scene
This part is redpilled. Sex scenes ruin movies.

What if you took them off for her?

>look back at her in disgust
>"Why don't you pop off those boots and let me take a massive huff?"

Security asked me to stop doing that. I told her I would give them back after the movie ended.

No

jesus

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you should have done it the civilized way, casually spill it over the chairs next to you.

I never had a bad experience, even at crowded premieres. but hearing stories from us about people clapping and yelling at the screen makes me laugh.

t. european

I haven't had any bad experiences, but the worst movie I've ever seen in theaters was Slenderman

being used to make her ex jealous.
say 'the wolverine, pacific rim, and amazing spiderman' with her.

suck on that mario. just as i was sucking on those huge tiddies in the theater.

(they got together - he used his dead mother as an excuse to get sympathy from her - she had lost her grandmother). now they have a kid together and both have gotten fat.

Cinema shaman?

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>Picked some of the last available seats, with a single seat to my right at the end of the row
>Surely no one would take a SINGLE seat right?
>A large black lady slowly walks over to it and sits down
>At every sudden, funny, scary, or literally any moment in the film that isn't talking she makes an audible grunt
>Sometimes drops popcorn on the floor and gets upset over it

I was quite mildly annoyed through the entire thing

never gets old

>be me
>watch kung fu panda
>old woman right behind me
>eating goddamn chunky beans out of a foily package
>literally dies of laughter everytime the fat panda says something
>the goddamn crunch sounds

Watching Signs the day after a cocaine binge

thanks for the giggle user

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its a walker, he must be a brit. Brits love to refer to things by the popular manufacturer's name.

>60 people died watching sherlock gnomes
>their last vision before death was the gnome twerking in a mankini

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watching Fellowship of the ring with a Bro
some 6-8 year old girls on the same row playing with their hair and talking and shit

wasn't that bad though, my bro shut them up.
I don't think I've had a truly bad experience in the movie theater. I should go more often, it has been like 3+ years

fucking kek, you're cinema has them too?

>tfw the cinema tiger ripped someones throat out in the front row then escaped through the fire exit

this is why you use the stall my guy

Pretty sure you're thinking of Yoda in The Last Jedi.

They're alive but stuck still to this day.

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>tfw you'll never get save those children from the fire and be hailed as a national hero for Russia

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>This fuck is so fucking small that nobody has to adjust their legs when he walks pass them but he says excuse me anyway.
my sides

going to some flea pit cinema which closed down not long after. rather than just going to the toilet my friend just pissed on the back seats

Wow. You really thought you had one here, didn't you?

Faggot.

>all this incel fanfiction
Yikes

;_; don't remind us. It's too soon.

>On a date for first time in long time. Blind date so no idea what to expect.
>Win a total 9/10 cutie, who had this dorky vibe.
>Whatcha wanna see?
>Female Ghostbusters..... Ok... sounds.... good.
>Pre-movie got expensive ass tickets, she wants concessions.
>Wage slave, but she is cute and funny, and I haven't been laid since Obama was president.
>Work a couple extra hours, you can do this.
>Buy her the works, like the full combo of pop, popcorn, hotdog, and loads of other shit.
>I think you got short changed.
>Watching the movie. Her hand touches mine. Blush.....
>Our eyes meet, we smile.
>Start kissing her as she starts to feel me up.
>OMG she's talking dirty in my ear how she wants me to fuck her right here in the theatre.
>Thank you Allah.
>Decide to escalate her request.
>Remove the footlong hotdog from the bun and stealthily insert my penis.
>Here babe how's about you take a bite of my footlong hot dog???
>QT "Well, well. Looks like you got short changed there user.
>I die a little inside.
>QT "Well at least the movie is interesting."

>We're married even though we hate each other and take great pleasure in ruining each others day. I'll never divorce her.

What came first, the cinema shamans or the designated shooters?

What?

based schizo poster

No he never got to second base

Having to sit through 3 hours of Avengers Endgame with a crushing headache.

That's what you get chinky

Based kyoani.

>not loudly shitting yourselves instead

They believe the caste system still works in western countries so they think they can act snobby and uppity when in reality the literal lowest class white people are still better than these fuckers and they’re still less than dirt even behind the wheel of a BMW and wearing their Gucci shit

I can’t believe joe caused this whole thing

> watch 2014 Godzilla in 2014
>Cineplex card gets denied hree times before I realise I had been tryg to insert receipt popcorn into the machine
>screening room s in thrimes as I take a piss
>Haftask police officer what reom it's in and he can asks who ID my ass
>Ppoints in dirction of No.3
>Enter theatre and smash hand in vice
>Completeely fucekd, no mone for taxi
>No no not even olsen pusy

>incredibles 2 has been out for 2 weeks should be safe to see
>2 weeks in the US
walking into that theatre alone and realizing my mistake, what a mess

What, were the corpses still there?

>but she is cute and funny

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youtu.be/CMKWPtJc18c
>average american audience

>go to see Your Name
>only person in the theatre
>right before it starts a reasonably cute asian girl walks in
>sits in the very back
>it's just us for the whole movie
>as we are leaving I ask her if she liked the film
>she ignores me and starts walking faster

Fucking hell this one got me.

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>cinema squires won’t stop dueling during movies

I lost my falcon while hang gliding and now I can’t go to the movies because they have a strict falcon policy when it comes to singles.

What the fuck man

>Cinema Gentry execute my father for not paying credence to their nobility
>I just wanted to see Antz

Just buy a new one you have your license right? You get a discount

>BR2049
>Midweek afternoon weeks after the movie came out
>Figure I can go to see the movie without anyone else being in the screening.
>Buy my ticket and take my seat just before the ads end, screen is empty except from one old guy a few rows in front of me.
>5 immigrants walk in and sit right behind me
>They're all talking in some fucking middle eastern shit language
>Guy behind me puts his feet up on the seat right behind my head
>I turn around and ask them to be quiet
>They start making fun of me for going to a movie on my own
>Turn back to the screen and try to enjoy the movie
>They're start getting pissed that I'm ignoring them
>Guy behind me starts kicking my head while the rest of them keep making fun of me
>I leave the theater and walk home

It's been like 2 years and I'm still mad. I still haven't even watched the movie because I'm so fucking angry about the whole thing.

If you have your Kinoplex Kustomer cars I think you get a free falcon every 10 kinos you watch

gissy?

Card*

I've never had a white person ruin my theatre experience.

I have no car and my dad always bitched about Derek(my falcon) keeping him up
Threater in my town is a shithole they cut the budget this year and fired the threater shooter so now before the movie starts the manager comes out and we draw straws

I went to see The Watchmen alone when I was in high school and I felt weird when the sex scene with Hallejulla played.

Women and children can ruin your experience irregardless of race

Jamal

>Be me
>Student
>Go to the cinema in the middle of a weekday because I can
>Place is clean and empty; smells like popcorn and fresh carpet
>No queue, just two happy boomers on their way into Darkest Hour
>Pick Red Sparrow because it looks cool and J-Law's cute
>Get to my screen: I'm the only one there
>Chill in the VIP seats, take my shoes off
>Watch the movie undisturbed
>Ocasionally wander around the aisles to stretch my legs
It was truly a dreadful experience

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THIS IS MY SHEEP

Based fire saving all those kids from watching Sherlock Gnomes.

>irregardless

>implying you had friends to begin with

How do you FORGET to buy tickets?

I haven't laughed this hard in a while

>go to the indie theater downtown to see afternoon matinee searching for sugarman
>about halfway through the movie the picture and audio cut out
>look around the theater to see if anyone else is there
>old guy in the back of the theater gets up, says he'll take care of it and leaves
>wait for like 40 minutes
>finally get up to tell someone that the picture is broken
>they tell me they can't restart the movie because too much time has past
>ask if an old guy came up to complain about it
>"What old guy?"
>leave theater frustrated and confused

Why do you write like this?

>"YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY"
>she starts sprinting as fast as possible
>I'm out of shape but using my superior masculine body filled with testosterone, I was able to catch up after a few minutes
>I pounce on her
>we're both on the ground
>she shyly looks towards me and says "as is customary in my country... now that you've caught me I'm yours forever"
>me: sweet"

Dude, you got pranked by a ghost.

Looks like he was pissed when this took place and he's pissed writing it out.

i remember when i was a kid i watched Jurasic park 1 in cinema and some guy next to me took his underage kid who couldnt read or understand english so he read him subtitles out laud for entire movie
pisses me off thinking about it even 20years later

>One ticket for Joker please

>15 years old, ask my friends sister to go see attack of the clones
>had a huge crush on her for forever, really sweet and cool girl
>at one point she gets up, presumably for the toilet
>say hey i'll go too but she says i should stay and tell her what happens when she gets back
>a few minutes pass and i say fuck this i need to peepee
>walk down the stairs and see her leaning on the counter, blatantly flirting with the employee

the guy was at least 22. when i told my friend about this, he stopped speaking to me because he refused to believe me and blamed me for dumping her. i only asked a girl out once more in my life and it was about as equally as shit, fuck attack of the clones.

There were two hot teenage sluts just using their phones and being all fucking disgusting over at theater.

I followed them after. Slapped both of them into the ass and crunched myself into the middle of them.

"Now that's some nice teenage ass you girls got there"
"Thanks... I guess"
"Will you let me fuck you quick?"
"Haha... no thanks"

I take my cock out of my pants and fap next to drivier's window. I can see the girls laughing. They start to drive away just as I am about to finish, I manage to finish little bit on their back window and by the gas tank...

God it felt so good

God I love teenage pussy

>when i told my friend about this, he stopped speaking to me
What a retarded bluepilled cuck. How did he not know that all women are whores?

Most of my movie theater fuckheads were white and I live up north

Not the worst but its fucking heartbreaking when you think you have the theater to yourself or your party and someone happens to waltz in right after the previews end

diversity is our strength user

What third-world shithole do you live in?

Wtf. Mom?

lmao

I took my niece to see the 2nd IT and people actually applauded when Steven king showed up. First time I've ever seen people actually clap during a film.

Season?

Who's sneed

Russian fire safety standards are pretty terrible unless they're buildings that were constructed in the last 10 years

what does gape smell like? is this the smell everyone talks about when "imagining the smell"?

Kek.

Did your boyfriend finger you during the movie

That one time I though sex was happening at some point. Nothing. I never loved the bitch, but I'm crazy so sometimes... ghosted. Co-workers.

I grabed her hand and put it on, she declined like a tasteful cunt.

Fair enough

he cute

. . . What?

>The original True Grit is one of my favorite movies
>Its showing in cinemas
>Decide to pony up the fucking $16 to see it
>Movie doesn't start
>Go out and complain
>The fix it, don't rewind and we missed first 15minutes
>Leave again, they refuse to rewind it because they need the theater for capeshit after
>Ask for refund
>They can't give refunds to Fathom Events
>Ask for at least a drink for free or something
>They give me a kids snack pack

Fuck you too AMC. I ended up complaining directly to Fathom Events and they send me 3 passes to be used at regular events

The shooters, surprisingly, but the shamans in many ways are an improvement

fuck me, shitskins are pathetic

>Go see Ad Astra last night
>Old guy close to me fucking MUNCHIN on his popcorn
>Theater too full to move
>His dentures keep falling out and he slurps them back in
People in front of me keep checking their Tinder
>Like 1.5hrs into the movie, very quiet and emotional scene
*CRUNCH* *CRUNCH* *CRUNCH* *SLURRRRPPPP* *CRUNCH* *CRUNCH* *CRUNCH*

Yeah that would be awkward.

>go see IT 2017
>some middle aged guy does the classic bit of repeating every joke and laughing to himself at full volume
>everyone starts laughing and groaning at him being so obnoxious
>he doesnt stop
>2+ hours being miserable
I just went and saw it again in the morning the next day with no one in the theater

>implying I can get in because of the "no singles" policy

What the fuck did he mean by this

>died of cardiac arrest
Why do articles still say this?

Based I hope to be that old and dab on people like you

>>the liquid cheese bursts out the opening and sprays all over my pants

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The movie? I might need to call my lawyer.

FUCK YOU

>Go to a public movie showing.
>Act like you're by yourself.
?

>go to see Promare
>people clap and yell whenever something neat happens
>make jokes at inappropriate moments
>laugh at inappropriate moments
>CPR scene, theater erupts in woos and applause, guy yells "YAOI" at the top of his lungs
>People clap when the movie is over
And I thought people cheering and clapping at Endgame was bad.

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Went to see Mission Impossible Fallout in 4DX and some retard left a footrest down while not in the seat

Had to go to the bathroom because my dinner was attempting to evac and a suprise explosion happened. The seats all shot back as I was passing the one with the footrest down. I didn't see it cause it was dark and it slammed into my leg. I reached for the row in front of me for balance when water shot into my face and the seats jerked around and I fell and shit myself

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it did a two part episode that was even a rehash of a season 2 episode Clubhouses

At least he was there and not deleting threads on Yea Forums.

the best part about this is that it looks like she was trying to intentionally fall as some sort of prank to throw her pop corn in the air but she fucked it up and actually ate shit

>Watchmen
>entire four back rows packed with greasy teenagers that all seemed to know each other wouldn't shut the fuck up the whole movie
>the whole movie
>Comedian shoots the pregnant vietnamese woman and this fucking dweeb in the group YELLS "DOUBLE KILL"
>Left sometime after seeing whatshernames tits cuz I knew the movie wasn't getting any better

sneed

This reminded me. I went to see 3 From Hell on Tuesday and while there some rotund as fuck (At least 450) guy came in right after it started (Decked out with XXXXXL BIG BOII Drink and Popcorn naturally)

He made it up 5 stairs, stopped for a drink, went for 5 more, stopped. Then the 3rd time he was near me and choked on his drink he was so out of breath. For whatever fucking reason he got a seat in the back (Its reserved seating and was only like 50% full) in our huge ass theater and I could he him breathing comically loud for 15 minutes after

ITT: beans

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For sure happens but it isnt always necessarily bad like people paint it.
When I saw the nu Diehard (dont even remember the name desu) the ones with his daughter and hackers and shit, in theaters, there was a guy who was a cripple in the audience who was totally living vicariously through the action film. I remember when said daughter (near the beggining of the film) had her action scene to show she has learned from McClain based cripple cheered "holy shit the same move!" Because she copied one of John's moves or something. Been awhile.
Anyway it actually added a lot of charm to the experience. His genuine uncontrollable outbursts of enthusiasm were great.
Another epic moment was when Star Wars Clone Wars Yoda pulled out his saber to fight Dooku. The crowd cheering when we all realised what was about to happen really captured the mood. But it was over as soon as the fight really started because everyone wanted to to hear every little sound.
So point is a civilised crowd can do it well. Problem is modern cinema is directed toward shitskins.

>this fucking dweeb in the group YELLS "DOUBLE KILL"
holy shit Marky Mark was there?

I enjoy seeing shitty horror on opening night for this reason.

One of the best experiences I ever had was seeing Paranormal Activity 3 on opening night. You could feel the tension in the crowd as soon as something scary started, and then see people squirming. Then their reactions were always hilarious

I want to believe.

>go to the Heaven's Feel Part 2 movie opening late at night, because I only found out about the 1-day release after /fgoalter/ started talking about it
>there's only like 10 people in the theater total
>sit next to a guy, ask him about his power level
>he says he's seen the anime, and logs in to FGO, but not much else
>movie starts with an introduction from the VAs
>they talk about how loud American audiences are, and how it's weird how they clap during movies
>fade to black
>...and still black...
>10 minutes pass
>we're all too autistic to ask the staff about the movie freezing
>eventually, one kid's grandma gets up and asks
At least the movie was good. Don't know why little kids are getting into Fate, though.

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Oh definitely. Great addition. Insidious opening night was great too.

Yepp. For my endgame screening it was even worse because there was someone so fat their breathing sounded like snoring

>went to see It part 2
>the place wasn't crowded but not empty either
>some eastern european guy in a jumpsuit and one of those shitty hats the russians wear proceeded to sit right in front of me
>he had a jar of pickles which he took out from a gunnysack
>he tries to open it but the jar lid is too tight
>he tries so hard that the jar breaks
>nobody was around him except me,I was sitting directly behind him
>i have pickles and vinegar all over me
>he turns to me and says in possibly the thickest accent i've ever heard in my life:
>"You smell like Vladivostok now"
>he picks a pickle from the floor and eats it
>"We not throw food where am I from"
>"He starts laughing when he sees that i'm a bit overweight
>"You should try the food throw baloon boy"
>the movie was shit,the day turned to shit and i smelled like my grandma's cunny for one week

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100% true - I went to New York for vacation and they literally clapped for The Happening, which was literally the worst movie I have seen in my life

Joe mama

in all likelyhood it sounded more normal/less mundane in russian just so you know. it was probably translated by a native speaker who did it too literally

to clarify "everything burns" and "everything is burning" would be the same thing, theres also some other things

>saw star trek (2009) in the cinema
>some autismo in the center of the theater kept yelling during the movie
>kirk shows up he yells "KIRRRK"
>the enterprise shows up he yells "COOOOOOL"
>pretty soon the audience starts to mimic him
>every time he yells the whole audience goes "WHOOOOOA COOOOOOOL"
>can't hear anything happening on screen over autismo screeching "WWOOOOOW" and the audience answering with "WHOOOOOOOA"
>whole theater just becomes white noise with lens flares

>10 minutes pass
>we're all too autistic to ask the staff about the movie freezing
Weebs dabbed on

Getting into a shouting match with an old lady a few rows back in an Israeli cinema, for her not shutting up during the climatic, high-tension scene of a movie... This being further fueled by the rage of her having taken a call earlier on during the film. I cursed the shit out of her towards the end of that movie, and she did the same towards me... great experience.

Another awful experience was sitting next to a lady (stranger) in an Australian cinema, who wouldn't stop saying "Oh that's so funny" every time she thought something was funny... This happened a lot throughout the film.

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>Go to the theatre with my family to watch IT
>Got my m&m's and caramel corn
>Got the best seats in the theatre and we got in early so we don't have to awkwardly push back anyone to get our seats
>Theatre becomes packed
>Still end up with empty seat next to me
>Fuck yeah, extra room
>Pre-movie ads and trailers start playing
>All of a sudden, some neckbeard hustles in with startling speed and agility
>Hauls ass to the seat like he's on a mission
>Plops his fat ass down and gasping like he's gonna have a stroke
>I look dead ahead, trying to avoid eye contact
>Without warning, he leans into my ear and whispers, "What ads did I miss? Anything good?"
>Fucking baffled because:
>a) Why the fuck are you talking to me?
>b) Who the actual fuck cares about ads? Are you that fucking fat that you get excited when Lay's releases a new commercial for their junk food?
>stutter,"Um, I-I don't think so, no"
>Fatass looks relieved and says, "Phew!"
>Fast Forward 10 minutes
>Fatass decides it's time for his snacks
>Proceeds to eat his popcorn with his mouth open
>Most of the popcorn gets stuck in his pathetic stubble
>Later proceeds to let out liquidy fart with no remorse
>Wouldn't be surprised if he was wearing a diaper (I thought I may have heard crinkling, IDK)
>Whenever the 'funny' kid in the movie said something 'funny', he would giggle to himself
>Each jumpscare he would jiggle with fright and say things like, "Oh Jesus!" or "Woah!"
>After the climax of the movie he just shakes his head and says "Wow!" over and over again.
>Stands up when credits end and claps and won't let me get out of the aisle
>My family had saw what the guy did and started laughing at me outside the theatre. They told me shit like "That's why we book you at the end of our section!"

The kicker is that I ran into the fucker AGAIN in another movie theatre around 1 month later.

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>watching wonder woman in packed theatre
>sitting next to father and his young son
>suddenly see some bright light next to me in the middle of the movie and hear a buzzing noise
>look over
>kid is spinning a light up fidget spinner in the middle of the movie
Fucking zoomers

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what the fuck is a bouncy castle?

Fucking hell lmao

fucking idiot

Inflatable castles that kids bounce around within.

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At least you guys both have really funny stories you can tell now

>the liquid cheese bursts out the opening and sprays all over my pants

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>go see GOTG
>shitty theater with seats shorter than my mutilated littlefinger
>about halfway through the movie the screen goes black
>it stays black for almost 10 mins, the audience of 5 people including me are yelling at the projectionist
>he tells us to wait 'just a little longer'
>we wait
>eventually the movie resumes
>but it's DUBBED now
>projectionist says their subbed copy is faulty
>me and 3 guys walk out

serves me right for paying a ticket to see capeshit

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test

HNNNNNGGGGGGG UUURRRRRRGGGHHHHH GODDD SOPHIA LILLIS IS SOOOO SEXY, SOOOO TASTY, I BET SHE'D TASTE SOOOOO SWEEET HNNNNNGGGG OOOO YESSSSSS *FARTS LOUDLY*

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I'm sorry. I apologize then and now. You're mother is loose.

I tried to sneak a pringles can into my pants leg but it looked odd.

the projector apparently died, and we sat there for half an hour

I hope it was expensive

Kek

i want to eat out a girl so bad.

I hope this isnt real jesus christ

I've had some shitty experiences both with baby boomers and zoomers but honestly the worst time I had in a theater was seeing the Ratchet & Clank movie. I've never seen something so shitty in a theater before.

5 million yen is like $50,000

I've never been in a theater with a lot of black people so I can't confirm

I have, but it was for Freddy vs. Jason, it was absolutely the best experience I've ever had.

Almost got in a fight with a Boomer whose seat I barely tapped with my foot when trying to get more comfortable. Guy threatened to kill me if I did it again. I don't even remember what movie it was at.

I can only imagine the hell that would be finding yourself cleaning up after this group

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I saw Cabin in the Woods in the hood and the nigs losing their shit honestly made the movie better

>watching A Quiet Place (single, sorry Robert) well after opening day
>just after the lights go down, a coven of giggling preteen girls runs into the mostly-empty auditorium
>proceed to sit directly behind me
>talking, laughing, kicking my chair the whole time
>absolutely seething, but they eventually quiet down
>start hearing gurgling behind me, followed by "ewwws" and more giggles
>then I hear a deafening sound - like a nasally goose call - and a splash
>liquid rushes from behind me and under my seat
>starts soaking into my socks
>at first I think it's just spilled coke, but then I realize it's actual diarrhea
>it smelled like reheated beef stew with a cloying acrid afterscent
>could barely maintain my erection for the next 45 minutes

Fucking awful experience.

Why are black neckbeards the best neckbeards?

Yeah, I could see that being a good time.

I was watching once upon a time in hollywood and ethan hawke's daughter appeared in it. I didn't mind her in stranger things but when she appeared in once upon a time in hollywood it really clonked my bonkers

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