What's his endgame?

>someone is taking my picture
>i'll pretend not to notice
>man i look so cool right now
*drops coffee on his foot*

endless attempts at trying to not be a fat nerd

...

That doesn't sound like the Jonah Hill I know... and by know, I mean I have some of the man's bone marrow in me, and I am alive because of him. When I was younger, I nearly died of childhood cancer. My parents were very poor and things were not going well for me. Some friends of theirs ran a gas station and they had put a donation jar up on the counter with my picture and story on it. People could throw in some change and what not... it really did help out. Long story short, Jonah was deep into filming The Sitter at the time and happened in the gas station for a dr. pepper and some beef sticks. I am told he saw my jar and simply said: "take me to the boy".

I am alive today 100% because of that man... and I am also at least 95% responsible for the failure that The Sitter was. Jonah underwent hours of horrific sawing and drilling to donate his bone marrow to save my life. It took him years to fully recover, and his career has been an utter piece of shit, but I try to make up for it by living a good and rewarding life in the memory of Jonah's sacrifice.

i live my life a quarter pounder at a time

why would people think this is real,
that coffee would have to be going 100 miles for that to be

next time you post this pic OP, put the text "the picture that doomed Yea Forums", it'll be fresh and funny

>nice lad
He's a douche
>good actor
Good at acting like a fat douche

KEK

Did anyone ever figure out why Kelly McGillis was there at the same intersection?

When will you learn that fatness comes from disorders, mental illness and poor childhood nutrition.
I was a 38 waist and now I am a 32/34. I have a binge eating disorder and saw does Jonah likely, it isn't like we enjoy food, it's literally like an alcoholic, drug addict or a psychotic thing

A new pasta is born

Imagine being such a gross fat slob that you're addicted to food. Learn about self control, fatty.

kek

Alcoholism isn't a disease. It's poor self control. I had poor self control, which is why I jumped up in weight over the last few years.
In fact, this last year was the biggest jump in weight where my pants no longer fit me - I had to buy new ones to wear to work. I decided to have some self control and stopped drinking so much (I have one beer on friday, one on saturday, and one during football on sunday), eat 3 meals with no snacks, and exercise 3 days/week (sometimes 2, sometimes 4). That's literally it. Just a tiny amount of discipline. It's not an "illness" that you need "treatment" for. You were just never trained to be disciplined by your prissy parents (same with me), so now you have to train yourself.
And for the love of God spank your children if/when you ever have them.

He’s another trust fund baby unable to come to terms with the meaninglessness of his own existence

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is this what they call an "act manqué"

Devour existence in itself.