Times you’ve acted like the Joker, baby

Attached: jz-iii.gif (320x240, 2.92M)

>>i'm actually a 33 y/o neet living off disability who does nothing but post on Yea Forums and masturbaye
Based

play oldschool runescape

>never done anything mildly socially transgressive
>still posted in this thread
ASS, TITTIES, ASS-N-TITTIES

>tell roommate i'm going to work
>go to the library and shitpost for 4 hours

Attached: 1497122360174.png (665x1145, 126K)

>sneeze
>co worker says bless you
>i don't say thanks

IT'S BEEN ONE WEEK SINCE YOU LOOKED AT ME

>don't understand this meme but like songs
ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

>losing argument
>thread on page 10
>make my comeback
>sage in options field
>gets archived
NOBODY IS LAUGHING NOW

>tell my parents I'm job hunting
>I'm at the library on Yea Forums or hanging out with my friends who also think I'm job hunting
RULES OF NATURE

Attached: Screenshot_20190918-223248_Chrome.jpg (660x756, 188K)

>Right Turn Permitted Without Stopping
>stop anyway
LIGHTNING CRASHES A NEW MOTHER CRIES

>get a new job
>say I'm grateful
>but really I'm not
WHAT I'VE DONE

Holy fucking based

>Respect the speed limits
>Literal trail of angry drivers behind me

Attached: joker-italia.jpg (480x613, 53K)

>start to make a post
>don't fini

DELETE THIS

His tattoo on his chest just says Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah... is he often at the doctor's office or sumfin? What a maroon

Attached: Daffy Hood.gif (500x361, 935K)

>McDonalds employee neglects to toss a few ketchup packets in my with my order.
>See the tiny bin of ketchup packets just behind the counter.
>Wait til she turns around and
>Snatch a fistful of packets and RUN

OUT HERE IN THE FIELDS
I FOUGHT FOR MY MEALS

>Order a pizza
>Don't tip

Attached: 71eStahl.jpg (680x383, 62K)

lmao

tipping is already wrong
you're actually doing good

>Tell trannies to dilate and call them gay
>Switch to another tab and fap to trap porn
WE FLY HIGH
NO LIE
YOU KNOW THIS

>my sister wants it so much
>tells me we can't cause I don't have a condom
>tell her I had a vasectomy
>she moans and we fuck
>I cum in her
>I never had a vasectomy

>tattoo it’s

>made fun of trannies
>fapped more than once to some
I'M AN AGENT OF CHAOS

holy mother of based

>make post auto post and try to race against time

>all the replies in this thread are one person
>me

Attached: img_06_04_2019.jpg (2019x978, 338K)

>live off disability
>regularly employ the services of a trans escort
>vote republican

STRUT POUT PUT IT OUT THATS WHAT YOU WANT FROM WOMEN

this guy has a youtube channel but i cant find it, does anyone know it?

>Suck a dick
>I'm not even gay

OOH AH HA HA HA

>actually wanting other people to think you're a lunatic
meanwhile the real crazy people are doing their best to blend in

>say the n word
>I'm not black
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

Attached: 1555894561229.jpg (700x525, 79K)

>close female cousin puts senior pictures on Facebook
>hit ‘Like’ button
>masturbate to her senior pictures for months

Attached: 3A9273F4-B0AE-4B7B-85B1-05026609EC95.jpg (809x766, 76K)

>Find hot doujinshi
>Slightly skew it a bit so it can't be reverse searched
>Post it on Yea Forums
>Don't give source
YOU LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE IF YOU WANT SOMETHING.
YOU GOTTA GET IT YOURSELF

IM DA JOKA BAYBEEEE

I think it got taken down after he started gaining notoriety. There were several videos of what looked like a prostitute dressed as Harley Quinn that he was probably preparing to mount. Can’t imagine something like that lasting if it was brought to YouTube’s attention. And yes, from the videos it’s obvious that he’s retarded.

that text is chuuni as fuck

>post in Joker thread
>don't include song lyrics

>post in a thread
>reply to my own post with "based" and "redpilled"

Based and redpilled

>the only reason im here is because reddit is down
CAPITAL MURDER. CAPITAL LETTUCE.

>ask a question about that jokers youtube channel
>someone replies giving me the information i needed
>dont thank them
WHEN ITS TIME TO PARTY WE WILL PARTY HARD

Attached: jocker.jpg (480x360, 14K)

>Tell my co-workers that I'll just go to the toilet and be right back
>Actually browse Yea Forums and post in this thread
IT'S HIDING IN THE DARK ITS TEETH ARE RAZOR SHARP

>tell anons to have sex
>am a 24 y/o virgin myself
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

>get words as tattoos so my mirror world version looks retarded
SOMEBODY STOP ME

this but my other self

>check reddit to see if it's actually down like that other user ITT said
>it isn't
RESPONSIBILITY'S COOL
BUT THERE'S MORE THINGS IN LIFE

I spat on a guy in the back seat of a motorcycle passing fast when I was a boy, and ran off.

>repeatedly call a female coworker late at night
>don't speak blare papa roach in the speakers
SUFFOCATION NO BREATHING

>roll up a joint
>dont pass it around

SLIDING BY RAPID FIRE YOU BETTER RUN

>buy cigarettes with warning on the box
>disregard the warnings and smoke them
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY

kek'd

Then post it, ya damn jokester

>girl hitting on me really hard
>lead her on a little
>she invites me to a concert, desperate as fuck too
>I just ignore her because fuck that
>some days later
>jack off to a thought of me fucking her
DRUGS GIVE ME DRUGS GIVE ME DRUGS

>store clerk tells me to enjoy the rest of my day
>don't
WOOAH BLACK BETTY, BAM BA LAM

>escorting guest speaker around labs
>tell her I'll be back when her meeting finishes at 2:00
>actually arrive at 1:55 just in case she finished early

BULGARIA

>am a trap
>make fun of post op trannies

WE ALL LIVE ON A YELLOW SUBMARINE

>go to fast food restaurant
>there's chunks of wet shit on the floor by the urinal
>tell the cashier that I pooped on the floor so I get the credit for the sweet chunks
WOULD YOU KNOW MY NAME
IF I SAW YOU IN HEAVEN

>shit piss cum wank
>fuck asshole retard penis

TAKYON

None of the links I’ve found on reddit work. I’m sure the videos are floating around somewhere out there but the man’s page is definitely gone.

i'm not a tranny sorry

>In 1st grade
>Girl sees me chewing gum
>Girl asked if I have gum
>I hand her the one I was chewing on
>I start laughing
>She looks at me weird and puts the gum in her mouth

>laugh so hard at a post I pee a little bit
>don’t even bother to give the poster a (You)
LAY DOWN SALLY, NO NEED TO LEAVE SO SOON

Post penis, fag.

>act like an autist
>don't even have autism
THIS SEASON'S GROWING COLD

>do a comedy special
>instead of jokes, tell fucked up stories about how I was raped
GOODBYE HORSES

Attached: 1534817646335.png (273x333, 106K)

>drink beer after work
>BAC is .082
>legal limit is .08
AND IM STARING DOWN THE BARREL OF A FORTY FIVE

>order plain wings
>well done steak
>barbeque za'
>use A1 sauce
I DID MY TIME
AND I WANT OUT

Attached: 635655082846943146-CDZbuEiUUAAtGQb.jpg (534x712, 67K)

Lot of samefags in here

>want to cross the road
>look left
>dont look right
>cross anyway
AINT NO PARTY LIKE AN S CLUB PARTY

Suck my cock

>veronica asks me to fuck her ass
>Just pee into her butt instead
DATS WHY THEY CALL ME THE JOKER BB

Attached: jokers.jpg (683x336, 40K)

>go to mcdonalds drive thru
>order everything on the menu
>pay in cash
>Drive away without picking the food up at the 2nd window

YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW

Samefag

>all these posts are jokes
>they are my reality

Attached: 1546069310411.jpg (1920x1026, 107K)

This is me every day. Why does society set rules and then expect me to break them. Why must it be so

Sneed

>press the crosswalk button on the sidewalk
>don't cross when the little green man appears

WHAT A SPLENDID PIE
PIZZA PIZZA PIE

Based but also fuck you I hope you die painfully

My sides have left orbit. Why are these so good?

No. He's a gamer.

Fucking excellent taste in music my dude

>went to see a comedian
>instead of jokes, she talked about how she was raped
>laughed anyways
IM A LOSER BABY

Its 2019, mental illness is fashionable. But not like he's doing it. That's some 00s emo/scene/goth myspace teenage bullshit.

>well done steak
That’s all you needed to post

>reddit roastie tells me to have sex
>Don't have sex
COMIN OUT OF MY CAGE AND IVE BEEN DOIN JUST FINE

>recipe says "salt to preference"
>don't add salt
OOH AH TING TANG WALLAWALLA BING BANG

>I've actually done this miltiple times
I WANNA HEAL, I WANNA FEEL

>coompost entire day
>jerk off atleast 5 times a day personally
heh, is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?

Attached: 1568824847830.jpg (500x500, 29K)

>don't have to pay to use tramsing your journey is entirely within the free tram zone
>pay anyway
THE HEART, THE HEART, THE HEART, THE HEAAAART IS A MUSCLE

>70+ unique posters
>accuse everyone of samefagging anyways
ONE: NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

>taking scantron exam
>fill every bubble with a checkmark
TRAPPED IN PURGATORY

Attached: BC713945-4641-4309-81D9-B66228374328.gif (255x231, 112K)

>step on crack
>break mother's back

SEEEEND IN THE CLOOOOWWNNSSS

Attached: 1566994205264.jpg (1024x1024, 266K)

>recycle bin
>throw papers and plastics into the trash anyway

NO PROMISES NO DEMANDS
LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD

>enlist in army
>despise jews with a burning passion
LAAST NITE SHE SAAIIID

Attached: 6C141188-573E-4C79-A076-FE5EFCC6B251.jpg (176x235, 13K)

OUTPLAYED BY STACY

Based and coompilled

>eat leftovers from a reusable tupperware container
>finish and throw the tub in the garbage
BUT IN THE END IT DOESNT EVEN MATTER

>watch anime
>dab on posters who try to discuss anime on Yea Forums

Kimi no te de kirisaite Tooi hi no kioku wo Kanashimi no iki no ne wo tometekure yo Saa Ai ni kogareta mune wo tsuranuke

Asu ga kuru hazu no sora wo mite Mayou bakari no kokoro moteamashiteru Katawara no tori ga habataita Doko ka hikari wo mitsukerareta no ka na

Naa Omae no se ni ore mo nosetekurenai ka? Soshite ichiban takai toko de okizari ni shite yasashisa kara toozakete

Kimi no te de kirisaite Tooi hi no kioku wo Kanashimi no iki no ne wo tometekure yo Saa Ai ni kogareta mune wo tsuranuke

Tori wo yuuyami ni miokutta Chi wo hau bakari no ore wo kaze ga nazeru Hane ga hoshii to wa iwanai sa Semete chuu ni mau MELISSA no ha ni naritai

Mou Zuibun to tachitsukushite mita kedo Tabun kotae wa nai no darou Kono kaze ni mo iku ate nado nai you ni

Kimi no te de kagi wo kakete Tamerai nado nai daro Machigatte mo Nidoto aku koto no nai you ni Saa Jou no ochiru oto de owarasete

Sukui no nai tamashii wa nagasarete kieyuku Kieteyuku shunkan ni wazuka hikaru Ima Tsuki ga michiru yoru wo umidasu no sa

Some one please but the joker baby in this. I love him so much.

Joker Dude unfortunately gets less recognition than Joker Baby. It's sad, really.

>separately marked bins for trash and recycle
>put trash in recycle and recycling in trash
TRASH MY OWN HOUSE PARTY BECAUSE NOBODY CAME

That's hot

Living the life

Is Nicholson Joker going to kill Leto Joker? Say it is please

Attached: mfw.jpg (674x674, 74K)

>tell social worker that I tried to find a job
>I didn't
>don't get any more neetbux
>don't care 'couse Iam gonna off myself anyway

Attached: Joker shaving.jpg (640x1115, 225K)

Joker dude has twice as many views, but joker baby is more recent.

>wear death metal shirts and black pants on the subway to show how cool I am
>listening to t.A.T.u. in my headphones
ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID

Attached: pj7npj.png (624x815, 469K)

>are you sure you want to quit without saving?
>click yes continue without saving
AYE AYEE AYEEE I'M YOUR LITTLE BUTTERFLY

>maroon
What the fuck does this mean

it means you must be 50 years old to post here doc

>Go to store
>Pre-open all the cans of soda so they get syrupy
TUMBLING DOWN, TUMBLING DOWN

Attached: 1566250685544.jpg (552x826, 164K)

Truly DAMAGED

Attached: 1567665528435.jpg (398x450, 70K)

because speed limits are bullshit. even cops won't pull you over usually unless you're going at least 15 over.

>Get my license suspended for DUI
>Drive drunk the next day

IM A CREEP, IM A WEIRDO

>park in disabled zone
>realize my mistake and re-park in a regular spot
>get out my car and break my legs
I KNOW I'M GONNA LOSE AND GAMBLING'S FOR FOOLS

Attached: BF20A98A456745EFB70F4CFD3458234C.jpg (382x483, 50K)

>poor person asks me for change.
>sorry i have no spare change bro
>pocket filled with coins
I DID MY TIME, AND I WANT OUT...

Last night I went to facebook and one of my friends was talking about suicide and hitting rock bottom but the way he phrased it left him open for baneposting. I didn't, but I had "it would be extremely painful" typed out and was about to post it when I started having second thoughts just in case he actually did it.

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-49734484

>drink Mountain Dew out of a Coke glass
>Mountain Dew is a Pepsi product
INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE

What music will you be listening to before your screening of JOKER?

For me it's youtu.be/w1nGMgaukcE

>colleague asks me if I had a good weekend
>say yes
>I didn't

IT'S JUST A PHASE I'M GOING THROUGH

look what society has done

...

for me it's this:
youtube.com/watch?v=MxPig78E844&list=PLYDdpTtJnpt6qWtTiNsI4Bg9KNWL7lhHX&index=6
intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor

>when you meme so hard irl that you based

>constantly shit on capesht, game of thrones and trannies
>favorite show is Steven Universe

IT STARTS WITH ONE THING

Attached: pearl joker.jpg (540x540, 61K)

>not that cold out
>zip my jacket up anyway
IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS

>call someone reddit
>based my own post

SHOULDA BEEN DEAD ON A SUNDAY MORNING

based

Attached: Steven U 10.png (1920x1080, 1.95M)

Back to tumblr with u

>go to the toilet
>pee with the seat down
ROLLING IN THE DEEEEPPPP

Attached: JPEG_20190212_100442.jpg (530x530, 52K)

based

>always thought that life was a comedy
>life was a tragedy all along

WATCH OUT YOU MIGHT GET WHAT YOU'RE AFTER

>post sneed
>Reply to my own post with "dead meme" and a picture of moe
YOULL STAY GOLD

Ouch, this hits a little too close.

>go through drive thru
>they tell me to pull into a parking spot cause my foods gonna take a minute
>just pull up a little bit and block the entire drive thru

BANG BANG BANG PULL MY DEVIL TRIGGER

>act like I'm reacting to my own post
>am actually a different person

NO TRUTH ALL LIES

Rossopillato

>first time having sex with a girl
>cum in one (1) minute
>never text her again

>call everyone a wagie cuck
>is stuck in office with overtime
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah ah

based

>make a MJ post in a completely irrelevant thread
SHAMONE SN-HE-HE-D

Attached: 1550386666932.jpg (623x702, 35K)

>go piss
>dont shake my penis or dab it with TP
>put my pants back on and let pee dribble into my underwear
I'VE SEEN THE NEEDLE AND THE DAMAGE DONE

Attached: 1559183938314.jpg (213x243, 16K)

>get called samefag
>Log on with my phone to take a screenshot
IT STARTED OFF WITH A KISS HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS

>throw recycling into general waste
>throw general waste into recycling
I FLICK OFF THE SAFTEY, CHECK MY GRIP, AND LOAD A DUM DUM CLIP

>lose argument
>change posting style so people don't think I'm samefagging
THROUGH THE FIRE AND FLAMES

this isn't "times you acted like a faggot"

>green man turns on
>don't look both ways before crossing
I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO IRON MAIDEN

Your post would contradict that, Incel-kun

thats what they do when they take the garbage anyways

>haemorrhoid cream says not for internal use
>poke my finger up my bum anyway
MC THUNDER

>download latest kino from a torrent
>limit upload to 10kb/s and delete it once I reach 100%
IM THE KING IF THE SWINGERS, OOO
THE JUNGLE VIP

based

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

>see old classmate
>don't acknowledge them
EUROPE ENDLESS

>go to bathroom
>wipe once
>don't check if I need to wipe more
I HAVE SEEN MY SOUL, IT'S ROTTEN BLACK AS COAL FOR ALL I SEE IS DECAY

Based leech

This happened to me once. The next day she asked me why I didn't call her and I made up some terrible excuse about our phone not working or something.

>laugh at how autistic this is
>don’t wipe regardless so big toilet paper can’t control me

>ex-colleagues invite me to social gatherings
>make up excuses not to go
DE. SPA. CITO

>post thread
>jannies prune
>post thread again
AH
AH
AH
AH
STAYIN ALIVE

Hes a gamer ready to RISE UP

>rap about killing snitches
>start snitching on literally the same day i'm arrested

SCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM GAAAAAAAAAANG

Attached: 1543112463244.jpg (1280x720, 119K)

>go to bathroom at concert
>accidentally get piss all down my black jeans
>girl grinding on me has no idea I have pissed myself
I AM THE EGGMAN
THEY ARE THE EGGMEN
I AM THE WALRUS

>dentist asks me if i floss
>say i do
>but i don't

I AM THE MAD MAD DADDY

>milk expires tomorrow
>it's 11:59pm
>wait till 12:01am
>drink the milk

AINT NO SUNSHINE WHEN SHES GONE

>attend a trans rights party
>tell them labels are for fucking sellouts
I STICK MY FINGERS INTO MY EYESZZZ

>call normal people losers
>am a total fucking loser myself

CRAWLING IN MY SKIN
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL

Attached: 2012-04-21 15.43.05.jpg (2048x1536, 809K)

>I sometimes pick my nose

BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD

>remember your appointment tomorrow
>ok i will
>please dont floss before
>*a devilish grin spreads across my scarred face*
>Hahha YES another chance to show up society for the crazy cesspool it is - I mean don't worry I wont, see you tomorrow.
HEY NOW YOU'RE AN ALL STAR
GET YOUR GAME ON GO PLAY

Attached: 43154135.jpg (1024x814, 114K)

>pick my nose in my car
>attractive milf pulls up next to me
>pick harder to show her i give no fucks
STACY'S MOM HAS GO T IT GOING ON

I've legit seen a manbaby irl with this tattoo.

Attached: joker_tattoo.jpg (600x600, 52K)

>buy food from a fast food place
>they have a cup with "Tips appreciated" on it
>write down "Get a new job!" on a piece of paper and leave it in the cup
AY AY AY I'M YOUR LITTLE BUTTERFLY

Fucking KEK

ok i get it lol

same, minus 6 years

>post holohoax memes outside of /pol/
>actually think the holocaust was real, and a bad thing
SOMETHING TAKES A PART OF ME

Attached: auschwitz-gas-chamber-door.jpg (640x480, 110K)

>think of a song to end my post with
>double-check on songmeanings.com to make sure I get the lyrics right

I I I LOVE LITTLE GIRLS
THEY MAKE ME FEEL SO GOOD

>break the speed limit
>go 14 over
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN COPPER

actually i was going 15 over which in my part of ohio is like $80 + 3(15). yeah you have to calculate it yourself. what kind of society is this? i gave them tip.

Attached: 1351053194589.jpg (426x382, 60K)

Why did this make me laugh so hard?!

>Ignore every message, text and phonecall for weeks for no reason
>Feel guilty about it constantly

>someone sneezes in front of me
>i don't say "bless you"
>instead, i look them straight in the eyes and say:

CUT MY WRISTS AND BLACK MY EYES
SO I CAN FALL ASLEEP TONIGHT OR DIE

>spend 5 hours shitposting in a joka bae thread
>literally become depressed and tha joka
i just hope you're an incel and you never hurt anybody that calls you this late at night

>wack off
>no paper roll
>wipe off cummings with laundry
BUT IF I CAN'T SWIM AFTER 40 DAYS

Attached: times you acted like the Joker.webm (480x480, 2.58M)

youtu.be/1aumZ4BFKGM

da joka baybay

OH no. NO way he'll ever regret that 20 seconds after getting it.

user he didn't say "play FFIVX"

is it cruel and unusual punishment to force a man into a fridge?

I intentionally bump every thread I see on page 10 to stop you cowards.

>the trashcan in my bedroom needs emptied
>don't empty it
>it's starting to smell bad

A CANDY-COLOURED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN
TIP-TOES THROUGH MY ROOM EVERY NIGHT
JUST TO SPRINKLE STARDUST AND TO WHISPER
GO TO SLEEP EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT

Attached: 1568730031358.jpg (1920x1248, 376K)

This goes from cringe to UNIRONICALLY FUCKING BASED so fast. WHat is this feel?

are you me?

Attached: 46BF14A2-7110-4F49-9716-1C1DF9ED6C38.jpg (1340x1554, 451K)

>you gamers ready to rise up?

Attached: 3AB85C34-696C-4BB7-AB35-F8E0B7B83063.png (500x748, 396K)

Cops have quotas and when they need to meet it they will stop anyone going at least 5 miles over the speed limit. The excuse will always be "this has become a targeted enforcement area."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>get a girl’s number
>never text her
Unironically done it three times already
I just don't know what to say, when to call, how to ask out for a date, nothing.
I got swole but i'm still traumatised within from never having experience in my teens

>go to post hitler meme on /pol/
>remember glow niggers are watching
>post it anyway

>Joker
>It
what's going on with clowns? they're supposed to be the funny guys, but it seems more and more of them just do crimes
we need to establish some kind of support group

Bravissimo

>cashier winks an eye to me
>Cum in her pussy anyway
THIS SHIT IS BANANAS

>go to olive garden bathroom
>piss on toilet seats and toilet paper dispensers
>don’t even buy any food
I GET STUPIFIED

>Someone opens the door for me
>Walk by and say nothing

I'M
NOT
LIKE
YOU
I
JUST
FUCK
UP

>submit job applications
>get a bunch of replies wanting to set up phone and video interviews
>ignore it all
I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EYES

>hate forced memes like coomin
>make meme images anyway
WE DROP BEATS THAT'LL CRACK YOUR CRANIUM.

Attached: Chad Coomer.png (2518x1024, 257K)

Can we all just agree that these threads area really just an excuse to sing Slipknot songs?

I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

based

>already make a post about how I hate forced memes like coomin as an excuse to post my meme image
>make another post to post my alternative version
AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR BECAUSE I AM THE FEAR

Attached: Chad Coomer Cumbrain.png (2518x1103, 314K)

Keek

Best greentext of the thread

>Get rejected
>Immediately ghost her

This society couldn't handle me

God bless

litteraly me holy shit

nice

MAD
MAN

IS IT JUST ME OR

>find racist post funny
>report it for "racism outside of Yea Forums"
DANCE, DANCE, WE'RE FALLING APART TO HALF TIME

Attached: jokeman.jpg (1202x815, 80K)

kek

>supposed to be there at work super early
>show up four minutes late and don't even feel guilty
WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES, CAN YOU SEE, WISE MAN HAS THE POWER

Post this to Yea Forums/ everyday posing as the original artist, even though the original artist whom created it died last year, hence why no new work.

Attached: EN_I_GEE_GEE_E_RR.jpg (1171x850, 144K)

>dentist tells me to stop drinking soda
>say ok
>go home a drink a can of bang's root beer
I WANNA FEEL HOW I FEEL WHEN IM ASLEEP

>tell parents I have a bad stomachache
>they let me stay home from school
>I never actually had a stomachache
NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER

>go on pornhub
>upload video titled “footjob gangbang tickle torcher feeding fetish lesbian heterosexual incest married couple fantasy football league teen self masturbation mature leaked terminator dark fate scene”
>its just a 30 second clip of a trailer for a porn site

IM JUST MARSHALL MATHERS
NOBODY EVER GAVE A FUCK BEFORE NOW THEY ALL WANNA TAKE SHOTS AT ME

Attached: 9E2956CF-97C0-47EE-B4B7-A88C42C6C273.jpg (1079x1289, 517K)

ABSOLUTELY
FUCKING
BASED

>say I hate jannies and mods
>think they're actually a necessary part of a popular board's ecosystem
THIS IS SPARTA, THIS IS SPARTA

Attached: jokemen.jpg (1080x555, 73K)

>Feel lonely and desperate for platonic friendship
>One IRL is always asking to hangout
>Outright ignore him or say I will and then never show up
I, I, I love little girls
They make me feel so good!
I love, little girls
They make me feel so bad!

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don't even bother greentexting

DIE FAHNEN HOCH, DIE REIHEN FEST GESCHLOSSEN

Post

>respond to my own post
ALL MY FRIENDS ARE HEATHENS TAKE IT SLOW

>no Simpsons threads
>pick out high post count thread with intelligent discussion
>spam SNEED
>thread breaks down with people howling for me to go back to plebbit
>already there in another tab

AND I WAS LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY, OH

>see thread with a topic that interests me
>already more then 200+ replies
>dont even open it since I wouldn’t get any (you)’s at the bottom of a thread anyways
BABY ARE YOU DOWN DOWN DOWN

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The tattoo equivalent of sticking your arm in a bucket full of sharpies

>121229052
>torture user by replying to him without giving him a (you)

OO EE OO AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG

Here you go, lad. This one's on me. ;)

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>fart
>when asked tell it was not me
SOMME FOLKS ARE BORN MADE TO WAVE THE FLAG

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>mom asks me to do some stuff
>"okay"
>don't do it
>when she asks about it I say I forgot
I BUY THE DRUGS I LIGHT THE FIRE

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>pre-order tickets for Joker
>never show up at the screening
SOMETHING. FOR YOUR... MIND, MIND, MIND

>have no other options except one
>cut myself until I bleed out

CUT MY LIFE INTO PEICES
THIS IS MY LAST RESORT

>Open simpsons thread knowing its just gonna be sneedshit
>post Moe anyway
I'M JUST A SUCKER FOR PAIN

>post multiple "stories" in this thread
>have never actually acted like the Jester before
A PARAGON OF PAIN AND SADNESS LIES, NEVER TO RISE

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This was me as well, of course now I'm happily employed and have a girlfriend but the gamer resides within

The Chad Coomer still enjoys vanilla stuff and never goes too far.

This.

>take a penny
>only leave half a penny
ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAR FACES

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Masturbayeyayay

pls don't

youtu.be/Ou-yJhWUrMY

>this was me but for 3 years and counting

SONG LYRICS

that's just too crazy for me

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>do this but live a fantasy in my head where family come rushing over bursting through the doors to see if I've killed myself yet
>nobody ever comes

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>say n word
>not even Jewish
AH SOMEBODY SAAAAVE ME

>see dog in the street
>pick it up and put it inside a first floor window
I MAY BE PARANOID BUT IN NOT AN ANDROID

>browse /pol/
>make myself so paranoid and angry that I force myself to go on nofap
>day 4
>beginning to lose my mind
>want to keep going but want to look at hentai/porn again
>have gone 4 days without purposely looking at that stuff and without even masturbating
>decided that on day 5 I will start looking at it again, but continue on with my nofap
>have done this literally every time I've tried nofap and have broke my streak every time for this exact reason
>guilt is going to nearly crush me
YOU'RE NOT HUMAN
YOU'RE A MIRACLE

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>see puddle next to Floor Wet sign
>walk anyway
>slip and fall
THE DAY I TRIED TO LIIIIVE

>had only one girlfriend my whole life
>lose meaning of life when we breakup
THE ACE OF SPADES THE ACE OF SPADES

>joker thread
>make up stories just to post obscure post-punk song lyrics
LIFE AND LOVE WITH
VERY LITTLE GLORY

>Help girl pass class by giving her my notes
>she thanks me via text
> I text back with smiley face and ask if I can see her again
>no reply for weeks
FALLING THROUGH A HOLE IN THE GROOOOUND

>see this happen to my bro
>beat the crud out of that stinky GIRL
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you makes me weak.
There are no words left to speak

> Go to Subway
> Order a complicated sandwich
> Walk out before they finish making it
VOCAL PERCUSSION ON A WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL

this reads like a woman wrote it.
USE PUNCTUATIONS YOU FUCKING GAMER CHAD

prank call her and make fun of her fat rolls

why are you making that suggestion

NIGGERS

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>have conversation with girl in front of me in class
>we walk back to the parking lot together
>vaguely agree to meet up this weekend and chill
>see her next class
>wave and say hi
>she gives me a head nod, acts like she doesn't know me
>doesn't talk to me at all
>call her a stupid slut under my breath
I HAVEN'T FORGIVE THE ONES WHO HURT ME
I WONT DO IT UNTIL THEY MAKE IT RIGHT

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Swap roommate with parents, and that's what I used to do.

>virgin cumbrain has mindfucked himself into only being able to get off to sissy hypno cuck vr
>coomer just cooms

>asked my university teacher if I could send her an email containing some exercises since I would need to work late and wouldn't be able to go there
>she accepted it and wished me luck with my job
>actually just wanted to stay at my apartment playing Warframe with some friends
LOCKED UP IN CHAINS, I GET FED, BUT THE HUNGER STILL REMAINS, NOT CONTENT TO LIVE THIS WAY, BEING LED BY THE BLIND, GOT TO PLAN MY DISPERSAL, TIME TO LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINND

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based

Is she hot?

Based sincere post.

>maxed on osrs
>immediately quit without buying max cape

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THIS is the film we shoulda got dammit.

>visit family friend in another country
>sneak into his daughters room to steal her panties
>use it to wrap around my cock to wank off
>made sure to not get cum on them or else I would be in trouble
>put them back where I found them

>Friends and I spend an hour at walmart playing with everything on their shelves
>Only thing we purchase is Millenial Monopoly
GOODBYEEEEEE, MOON MEN

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Why didn't you keep them as a souvenir?

>Constantly shit on weebs and anime
>Only listen city-pop

TOTSUZEN NO KISS YA

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>Baby are you down, down, down
Absolutely based, haven't thought of that song in years
youtube.com/watch?v=oUbpGmR1-QM

No

>bait the (you)s
>leave the thread

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this. the fuck?

>post on /r9k/ about being a khv
>actually have a gf who I have sex with
SOME LIKE BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT AND PRETTY
I SEE THE GOOD IN THE BAD AND THE UGLY