Star Wars Rise of Skywalker

>Palpatine is not a FORCE GHOST, he is actually alive and decrepit. He some how survives the death Star destruction and went hidding with imperials in the unknown regions for 30 years where he built a Fleet of ANH Star Destroyers with Death Star Tech. He also created the Sith troopers concept, he is in a robot bed with mechanic hands and all shit, looks old as fuck and closer to die. He lives on a planet called Exogol which is all black, he created Rey. There is no explantion how he survive the DSII destruction.
>Rey is a Palpatine, her father was called Ochi, at the end of the name she takes the Skywalker name as her own to forget her true origins and dark past.

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This could have been an interesting concept for the whole trilogy, especially if Luke Skywalker, Leia and Han (didn't die) helped her fight the Emperor. And if Kylo eventually switched sides to join them and Yoda and Anakin came back to help them as force ghosts. It also would have been based if they cast Carrie Fishers daughter as Rose instead of that fat girl and she helped out in some way as a pilot or something. It would have been like a passing of the torch. It also would be like the ultimate showdown against the Emperor. But...this makes no sense based on the previous two films. The Emperor isn't even mentioned, Luke and Han die for almost no reason and Carrie Fisher is dead irl, her daughter is just an extra and the whole series is a completely random and retarded mess.

Just finished watching Episode 7 again. Its really not that bad other than Rey's mary sue mechanical and flight skills / the star killer base. She can't fight and didn't beat Kylo at the end...he was just severely injured (from Chewie's Shot and Finns lightsaber slash) and she discovered some force powers at a good time (that's fine in the star wars universe).

The plot was really set up well for the next film. Snoke was the ultimate evil in the galaxy. Kylo was an interesting new dark character with a possible redemption arc. Han Solo was great and his death was perfectly done.

overall its probably a 7.5 or 8 / 10. perfectly fine star wars reboot.

How The Last Jedi managed to fuck up so hard is beyond me. Any retard could have made a better episode 8 with what JJ left for he or she to work with.

Hopefully he can salvage episode 9.

Finn is Lando's son. He was kidnapped when he was a Child by the First Order.

Darth Sidious is mentioned in TLJ

when? i don't recall this.

Oh please no

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At least try to be subtle. Fucking shills man, not even worth the pennies they pay you.

During the scene of training rey
You are just retarded

Just being mentioned isn't enough to tie it all together and I don't even recall him being mentioned at all. To be honest, there were so many missed opportunities with this trilogy that it's mind boggling. The same is true though of the prequels. I think Star Wars is cursed or something.

i can agree with this. TFA had problems but they were far less egregious than other movies in the franchise. I enjoyed it.

TLJ i went in with low expectations and was still blown away by how bad it was overall

At least the prequels had a through line and added something to the overall arc - this trilogy has just been random contradictory shit happening. Even if the leaks around at moment aren't true, I can't say any satisfying way for them to tie the trilogy together, let alone make it worthwhile in the wider context

Did Mark deserve his cucking?

>#havesex

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>Make all the original Skywalkers failures in the sequels.
>Make the only Skywalker offspring evil.
>Have your OC take the surname of the Skywalkers to both legitimize them and try to have the sequels end on some false positive note.
Gee thanks, Disney.

>Palpatine still alive
wow good job totally ruining the OT

Perfect analysis.

This whole trilogy has been one giant asspull. The plotline's barely connect to one another, nothing makes sense, nothing is going to be explained. How did the first order become so fucking powerful if they are just a small splinter faction of the old empire? how could the afford to build a mega death star if almost nobody supports them? Who the fuck was Snoke and why was he helping the first order? Who the fuck are the knights of Ren and why were they just never mentioned again? Why did they create so many soulless characters with no impact? Benicio del toro, the asian, Orange she-yoda. It's like they had no plan at all and now they are just going for the easiest biggest nostalgia cashgrab they can with the emperor popping up out of nowhere.

Luke blamed the Jedi for allowing Darth Sidious to take over the galaxy. He wasn't wrong and it's probably the only fact in the entire fan fiction movie that it was.

>Orange she-yoda
perfect analysis

How many POC are in the movie? George was known for writing some of the best black roles.

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Darth and Luke literally dindu nuffin.

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Imagine having to act in a serious scene with that standing next to you.

>She can't fight and didn't beat Kylo at the end
She absolutely destroyed him, wiped the floor with his ass and was about to finish him when deus Ex earthquake split exactly between them...

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I would have been completely fine with this, given that Kylo had a hole in his side, got injured dicking around with Finn, wasn't trying to kill her, and was too emotionally conflicted from killing his father to access the force properly. But it should have been the catalyst to turn Rey to the dark side. Having a taste of victory this early and the desire to understand her origins should have propelled her into the arms of Snoke.

Imagine playing that thing

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OCHI ? WWTF ..Ochi one you are, OCHI WAN KENOBI

Biggest problem with it, and I think the most telling evidence that they didn't have the whole ST planned out when going into it, is that lets TLJ open with Luke throwing away the saber. TFA should have ended with Luke tossing the lightsaber at Rey's feet, saying something about how he is no Jedi, and walking off. It would have been a perfect cliffhanger ending and allowed TLJ to open after a few months have passed (Rey continually tries to convince Luke to train her, only for him to rebuff her advances).

Show some respect for the true phantom menace. Had Lucas not lot his nerve on Jar Jar, he never would have sold to Disney.

Kino

>How did the first order become so fucking powerful if they are just a small splinter faction of the old empire?
They're now saying that the First Order is literally the Empire, but they changed their name. Officially, canonically, the Empire never fell and Palpatine never died. Luke, Han, Chewbacca, Leia, the droids; et al, just a bunch of losers.
Immediately after the Battle of Endor, the Empire kicked the Rebellion's ass, then it went back and forth until the Empire got pushed to the outer rim where it stayed and rallied until it became the First Order.

No finn is mace windus grandson you fucking retard they're both black

This

How the fuck did he survive getting blown up directly?

Anakin's death was for nothing. He didn't even get the Emperor in the end

It's not important to Rey or to the story!!!

that is a story for another time ;^)

That was just in regards to Jake Skywalker's reason for abandoning his duty as a Jedi for the sake of further explaining why he's such a pussy now. There is no direct evidence in this trilogy that explains how Sheev was behind everything again.

So, apparently Palpatine is sustained by mechanic al hands. He îs something like pic rela

Bro he just used his force powers (called force shield) to block the explosion all the way to endor where he used force regeneration to heal himself over the last 30 years.

Sure hope he says NOO NOO NOOOOOO

>Palpatine is not a FORCE GHOST, he is actually alive and decrepit. He some how survives the death Star destruction
Maul survived being cut in half, thrown from a large height and left down there for who knows how long.

Palpatine was vaporized, user.

>Bro he just used his force powers (called force shield) to block the explosion
.....he hit the core.

IG-88 must have downloaded the essence of the Emperor, then shat it out later, for a price.

>How the fuck did he survive getting blown up directly?
Why are you asking questions about a movie with space wizards and laser swords made for children?

The Force is truly mysterious and powerful

And the writers are bullshit

>They retconned the entire original trilogy into being a meaningless blip in the story

Tell me this isn't true. even for JJ and Rian this would be impressive.

It's absolutely true. In the Disney Wars canon book "Aftermath" it's explained that literally immediately after the Battle of Endor, the Empire sent reinforcements and the Rebel's got BTFO. No time to bask in glory.

It ended in 1983.

*Rebels
Disney and most other media heads are obsessed with nihilism. Gotta subvert everything, user, or else it isn't cool! Get with it.

at least the good parts of the eu still exist. Thrawn trilogy, jedi knight series, rogue squadron games, and a metric fuckton of great comics.

@121189978
Shitty bait not gonna get that (you) from me.