"You've been talking a lot of shit user. How about you step on the mat and back it up."

he will always seethe after what ornella did to him

na

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I thought leo was friends with him

>I could beat him if I trained for 10 years

WHOAH, check out this badass

>No thanks, I'm not gay.

>a few years
>10+ years ago
based ESL user

>heh, thought so, fag

"Not again!" Jonah thought, feeling the hard-earned self confidence rushing out of his body. Just a moment ago he had the world in his hands, rocking his new airpods, the black outfit he carefully chose to accentuate his weight loss and a stern look at future kino projects in the distance that were sure to come. This time he saw the paparazzo from far away and he instantly knew this was his chance. Present them the real Jonah, not the chubby comedic stereotype that gets humiliated in European talk shows, the walking punchline, the living joke. No, not this time. Confidently closing in on the shot, he suddenly felt it falling, the caramel söy frappuccino he had completely forgotten about
splashing on his hand as it dropped to the ground, soiling his 900$ limited edition sneakers. When he heard the click of the camera he knew it had been too good to be true. He tried to march stoically past the paparazzo, ignoring his taunts making sure he
couldn't see the tears building up behind his tinted glasses. "One day I'll show them all!", he thought. "One day I'll make them all pay!"

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I would love to punk this gump

>white belt

this lmao

bjj is the most homo martial art on the planet and bjj fighters are some of the most unpleasant people i've ever met in a gym.

>JUST

Jonah would be so fucking easy to beat up it’s not even funny.
Poor guy thinks he can suddenly forge himself into a badass in his mid 30s lol

Yeah, that's actually how all these tall retards think it's going to go down before they roll for the first time.

There's no room for anyone else on the mat, Jonah.

retard

Hahahahahahahahaha

You do know he is a FtM Jewish tranny, right?

MORE TIME

>mediocre wrestler
Made me think of the man Socrates

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Serious question. Why do some guys get to try all these interests and lifestyles and get labeled as an adventurous person etc etc and others like Jonah get ridiculed for trying to become more masculine and worldly? I feel for him because I also try and fail at a lot of my endeavors.

The french bitch really made him spiral out of control huh

>bjj whitebelt
lmaoooo

He takes himself way too seriously. Look at OPs pictute. Look at his face, he's a fucking tryhard. A simple smile would go a long way

doesnt help that hes famous and people take photos of him

t. coping manlet

>I also try and fail
there's your (and Jonah's) problem, the guys labeled as adventurous don't fail

because hes ugly

You right. Drop by your local bjj and record your triumph over the manlets to show us your dominance.

Why is he crying?

Why is he crying?

>jonah
>ugly

hi jonah

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I KNOW JIUJITSU

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COPE
O
P
E

kek

>I think the mat has already reached its weight limit, Jonah.

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even the old lady is smirking at him lmao

Man at least wait until yellow belt before taking photos in your gay little gi.

hey can i get brads number?

>the basedboy has a single moment of honest reflection and realizes the horror that is his existence

That's what I thought as well. If you could handle a manlet rolling on top of you on a mat you wouldn't be here jerking off the zoomer "u mad bro" for attention. Here, don't spend it all in one place.

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>boxed water

wat

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L I T H U A N I A

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you made him your bitch desu

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kek what a bitch

No yellow belts in BJJ. Just white/blue/purple/brown/black

>söybeard
>arm tats
>cigarette
god damn I fucking hate this guy

and red

He looks the best he's ever looked there though.

His name is (((Feldstein))), he's only where he is you know (((why))), at least he's miserable, he may have a soul.

do you post pictures of yourself crying at your first class of martial arts? (bonus points if it was after losing to a 15 year old girl)

because you can tell he doesn't actually care about any of the shit he tries, he's pretending to be something he's not and every knows the only way to be a real cool guy is to B.E yourself

He's unattractive and short. It's simple as that.

jonah did this for like a week, just like all his other hobbies

small hands

He just needs more time

cast it

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kekpilled

thats pretty sad

he was fat user, do you think anyone actually liked being around chris farley?

>jonah
>unattractive
Where does this meme come from desu

jew jitsu

i thought he was beloved?

no, he was utterly shameless and was the first one to mock himself so people didn't feel the need to do it to him.

Yeah, but those are unicorns. You're never gonna see one.

dont wanna get arrested for beating up kids lol

Yeah probably.

quite privileged if you ask me

Idris Elba

can he get anymore pathetic. guy might as well just make a documentary about being a coomer at this point

At least he's engaged!

To a bucket of fried chicken

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irl hamster.

is he eyeing her ass?

how is it that no other celebritie have embarrassing shit like their fucking drink breaking in their hand happening to them? why is he destined for unfortunate failures like this?

>BJJ
more like Bunch of Jerks and Jokers lol.
>come roll on the mat with us
>we promise we wont fondle your dick and butthole wink wink

why don't you LOSERS learn a real martial art and then come talk to me. The second I get in to my first kata stance, which will be Heikō-dachi, youll be shitting in your faggy Brazilian monkeyman costume. You'll get chopped and kicked to DEATH

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She probably had a candy bar hanging out of her pocket

pagliacci incarnate

how is he so bad at dressing himself

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH STOP dude I cant take this!!

>What the fuck, why isn't the small dog/pink leash thing working

Pity you're not dropping the pounds as easily as your coffee!

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The one thing I learnt from cartoons is the bigger they are the harder they fall.

schway, as the kids call it

you can just tell that jonah saw pictures of famous rappers wearing this shit and thought to himself he could pull it off aswell

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Who exactly is he trying to fool?
>himself
I mean other than that, who thinks he looks cool? He's a really good actor so why does he do this? If he is so unhappy with his fatness, lose the weight get some hgh from your hollywood producer pals, do a bunch of blow, fuck some desperate smoke show actresses in your mansion. Jesus christ Jonah, get it together!

;__;

he was a big guy

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>a little over half a foot shorter than me
I'll be fine.

for you

>If he is so unhappy with his fatness, lose the weight
The thing is he's even worse slimmer.

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>And then you'd g-

*pulls out glock*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You disgusting whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. And start taking off your clothes as you do it. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Be thankful, I'm about to make you a star..."

>I KNOW JIUJITSU
SHOW ME

>SHORTS OUTSIDE THE BEACH
>EVER
JESUS CHRIST JONAH GET IT TOGETHER

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JUST

Because as you can see in the pic, he is a retard who literally tried to hold the cup by the lid only.

holy fucking based

it's better for the environment, bro! what do you mean where did I get the trees for the box?

wearing shorts are pretty common in coastal cities,i don't need to be on the beach to wear one.

GABRIEL BYRNE IS DOING THE CORRECT FACE FOR THIS LMAO

HE LOOKS LIKE A BOBBLEHEAD JUST STAY FAT JONAH ITS HOW YOU GOT FAMOUS

ITS ALLOWED IN BEACH TOWNS GENERALLY, SAY THE HAMPTONS

BUT SHORTS IN NYC IS A NO

Kino

>cartoons

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Based and true

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who cares?nyc is so fucking cringe.that grey atmosphere,everyone is a cunt,corruption is the norm,shitty air,filled with retarded tourists thinking they are living the american dream.

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>homo martial art
It really is. I’ve never seen anything so faggy in my life. What’re your experiences with its “practitioners”?

YOU CAN GET A TEMPORARY SHORTS PASS IN NYC IF YOU GO RUNNING
BUT THOSE ARE DIFFERENT KIND OF SHORTS
JONAHS SHORTS ARE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN

>being this unabashedly new

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>tucking in a basketball jersey
good lord

i wonder where he find those ultra weird shorts.

HIS PERSONAL SHOPPER SCOURS THE VINTAGE CLOTHING STORES IN THE VILLAGE

to be fair ye also looks like shit here

youtu.be/MZKiRRYNn1s
>bullied by tranny kek

Submental lipo would turn his whole world around desu but i guess he cant stay thin long enough for it to be worth it

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Hi.

kek

BASED

Its another example of how some retards just cannot forget first impressions. Most everyone knows him from superbad, and if not then they know him from a basically identical role he played within like 5 years. Now hes trying to go against that mould but everyone is shitting on him. Kind of his fault for being in the public spotlight, but these days it seems hard to escape your past. Used to be able to just skip town and start fresh, but any retard can check your kikebook or twatter and tell everyone else that you used to be a beta or a druggie or an all around loser. Same principle with kids moving schools, you can no longer go to a new school and become the cool kid unless you were already the cool kid before.

ITS NOT RETARDS ITS EVERYONE

LITERALLY TYPECASTING, HE SHOULD JUST GIVE IT UP AND PLAY TO TYPE

SUBWAY IS CALLING JONAH

It must suck to have no jaw.

>retards
>everyone
Pick two and only two, fren

Tryharder underage faggot

People are shitting on him because they noticed that he reacts to it. Many actors who used to be known for comedy roles moved on to doing something different, while not making the complete idiots of themselves in the process by dressing like clowns, changing their hair colour and tattooing bunch of random shit.

basically

Why doesn't he just get on roids?

it'll probably end up JUSTing him up more with his luck

I really feel bad for this guy. He's always got that thousand yard stare, eyes that are devoid of life. He comes off as a massive tryhard these days, but in the saddest way possible.

hi jonah

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REKT

Why does he have to be such a stupid faggot? He's good at being the funny fat guy and should have stayed in his lane. It's pathetic seeing him reply to people on Instagram saying that he used to be a sk8er boi in 90s when everyone damn well knows his fat ass probably couldn't even do a kick flip.

Yeah, and now imagine a short, fat insecure jew wearing that shit

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they looked like assholes with massive egos.
i used to go to the same gym (a very small one, it was basically just me in the weight room most of the time) every day at the same time, this bjj instructor was there every day at the same time too, we saw each other for years, i greeted him every time out of politeness and he couldn't make the effort to greet back most of the time.
i wasn't trying to get him to suck my dick or anything, just seemed like a nice thing to say hi to a dude you see every day in a tiny ass gym.
same for many of his students, if you don't do bjj you're invisible to them.
i dont think its a fake martial art or he was selling snake oil since i know they do national competitions often and they win or get podiums most of the time so they can at least back their egos with facts but the attitude seems really stupid.
they are the same breed of people who play airsoft and think they're hot shit or war veterans, just a different game.

He's a white belt

MMA is a meme contact sport and in real life none of that shit would fucking work.

Kek this, can you imagine pic related getting on a board and dropping in or listening to hiphop as he claimed to do in the 90’s

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and this is not to mention the fact that rolling on a mat trying to leg lock or choke someone while panting in his ears looks really fucking gay, at least in mma you mix it up with punching the bastard in the face every once in a while and its not just homo dick choking on the ground exclusively.
i went on youtube to watch a few matches out of curiosity and it seemed like the most stupid sport i've ever seen, people scoring a point then closing up defense for the rest of the match to win, or disqualification for some really dumb rules to the point the IBJJF had to make instructional videos for their practitioners to understand them.

REDEEMED

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Imagine being offended by one comment by a french weathergirl you stop filming a show, leave the studio, get into your chauffeur driven car, take it all the way back to the hotel, get your publicist to cancel all your interviews, cancel all signings and autograph and fan meets, cancel all appearances with your co-star too, book a ticket back to america, get on the plane the very next day and leave the country and get back home and go to Subway in LAX and order two 2 footlong meatball marinara subs and then get driven back home while eating one of the subs to then call up Brad Pitt only to hear him beating his black and asian children so you put the phone down and finish the rest of the other sub and call Pizza hut instead who is just listed as The Hut in your cellphone to order a Jonah Special and when your agent calls you wondering what the fuck happened you tell him all about the french woman who said she'd rather have sex with Leonardo Dicaprio than you and so you left the entire country and crossed an ocean just to get away from her.

Rob Zombian

Kino™

HAHAH

This. The Shoyoroll wearing, two month old white belt is nothing compared to anyone who puts in the dedication it takes to get to blue

>The general order of karate belts is white, yellow, green, blue, brown and black.

Keep training big guy

Jonah Hill vs CM Punk, who wins?

you'll pay, you'll all pay

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He was the funny fat guy for most of his life, the mind is like water, it takes the shape of the vessel its poured into, then it solidifies once you go past 20, jonah will be always the underachiving fat failure, he can try very hard to behave like hes not, he can fake it, but you can hear that dangling insecurity creeping behind his words, his voice tone is the same of that defeat conformed man he always was, its just hiding behind a ton of tattoos and expensive clothing.
You will always be what you are once you reach 20s, theres no changing mentally and if you dislike your current you, find a bridge and jump.

>he’s never had boxed water

at an eating contest? jonah
at an acting contest? cm punk

>the mind is like water, it takes the shape of the vessel its poured into

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MORE TIME

>rebooted himself
Whats his problem

>DC Origins: Penguin

Well jonah's life is practically a cartoon at this point so you may be right

Manny. Choot dis piece a chit.

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not enough tats yet

>Cliff was ashamed of his persiflage, his boasting, his pretensions of courage and ruthlessness; he was sorry about his cold-bloodedness, his dispassion, his inability to express what he now believed was the case - that he truly regretted betraying Jackson, that he missed the man as much as anybody and wished his backstabbing hadn't been necessary. Even as he circulated Big Brother house he knew that the smiles disappeared when he passed by. He received so many DR questions about his health that he could answer them without any reaction except curiosity. He kept to living room all day, flipping over playing cards, looking at his destiny in every King and Jack.

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they're just dickies work pants cut down

>Is that really why they call you quickdraw? hmm im not convinced

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NO WE NEED MORE TIME!

HOW DOES SHE DO IT

Please.... More.....time..

Is that a Hypercolor sweatsuit?

I only wrestled for two years in high school and I bet I could still RNC him

G-GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD
I-I HAVE A FUCKING GUN
I WILL BE RESPECTED

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Because he's fat

I think we all know this feel, stop lying fags.

That lost energy way too fast and fucking sucked. Stick to your day job

He looks 1000% more Jewish. However, he would look okay if he actually dressed like that and acted more mature. Reminds me of Jew actors from the 60s and 70s.

You should worry less about whats getting in your head and more about whats getting in your mouth fatty.

Only a fashion pled would think Jonah isn’t based in that regard

jesus Jonah its time to take a waddle back and rethink your life

what's a pled?

His hair looks like Chicken Noodles

it's fucking hilarious how jonah's eyes just get deader and deader the more he reinvents himself

why does he look so defeated and destroyed in pretty much every picture that's been taken of him

>how is he so bad at dressing himself
he learned the whole "attractive people will look good no matter what they wear"

jew-jitsu is impractical in a street fighting setting
>not to bash the art form but there's too many technicalities
I'm an undertrained boxer/wrestler but at 6'2 180 I could scalp Jewna the Tuna Hill with my bare teeth.
>not to sound like a boomer but in a street fight I'd lock his arms with mine to destabilize his punching, side kick his knee to cripple him, force him to the floor and I'd drop my knee onto his nose from a standing position.
I've been to prison, I've fought dirty shitheads just to keep my back from getting stabbed, in a survival scenario against Jewna the Tuna he's getting canned.

ornella

he's a man of surface, left alone and a nobody he'd be a lazy fat pig like he was before he was famous.
He needs identity but will forever be known as
>le funny fat guy
o what a fate worse than death, he's richer than me, can travel anywhere has more genuine friends then me, but I laugh knowing I'll never be as pathetic as he trying to so desperetly hard to be loved by everyone.

Based zeus understanding the power of wrestlefuck

>pulls guard and puts you in a triangle with my freakishly long legs

Bye bye night night

Jonah would fucking skateboard all over his face while reciting some sick ol dirty bastard lyrics while setting up a mean kimura

I'M A MILLION DIFFERENT PEOPLE FROM ONE DAY TO THE NEXT

I cry everytime

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>chad
lol no Jonah.

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>I know Jewjitsu

ftfy

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get some surgery jonah

Poor dude got so hungry he ate half his pants

Oh my god even the old lady is stealthly laughing at him, theres no hope for the jonah.

How would you fix him?

this is't a Taco bell drive through, why dont you lay off the gas and back it up

>Couldn't even make it to fucking YELLOW

haha

Why God hates him so much?

Was it kino

we'll see who's laughing when your penis lines up perfectly into my mouth

Because of what they did to Moses

He's trying really, really hard to be a tastemaker by throwing together random designer thrift store chic trash. Typical of /fa/ggot hipsters though, I guess.

>All those off the wall tattoos

Holy shit

Running isn't shit compared to literally trying to physically control another human being. It's like 1v1 rape.
t. highschool wrestler

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Jonah spill

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There's some stoner retard I work with that has the exact same cowboy skull thing on his arm. I don't get why even a poorfag would drop any money on shit like that, let alone when you could easily throw $10,000 at someone to put a piece of art on you without batting an eye.

Can I use a good martial art or do I have to do that gay juijustu shit?

I have absolutely no respect for bjj fighters, it's a martial art made out of one part of judo and they want to be taken seriously. It's not even real jiu-jitsu for gods sake.

I could deck every cunt ITT
>blues and purples unironically think they know how to grapple
lel

You are fat and gay.

no u

>jewjitsu fags thinking they can street fight

I don't think anyone is going to put on a robe just so you can have something to hold onto lol

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wow, looks kinda like Bob Dylan.

bobby dills with aids