I was hoping I'd end up pleasantly surprised by this short movie but it shows that even in short form it manages to...

it sucks that we'll probably never get a good R rated dino flick because of how expensive they are

Yea but even you have to admit that brown people are more annoying than white people.

I agree wholeheartedly that if a little white girl had gymnastic kicked a dinosaur in JP2, I would have thought it was the dumbest shit ever all the same, that they did it again with the little girl apparently being handed a fucking loaded crossbow(have you ever tried to load those things? Little girl fingers are not pulling back strings strong enough to pierce giant fuckoff monster skin, she'd snap her fingers off for one strong enough to pierce a Hog.) by the guy established as having said crossbow instead of, you know, just using that guy, is pretty damn stupid. Like not even fun stupid, it stops the action, isn't a cool reveal, doesn't make sense and all we get for it is a little girl holding something that just scared off a monster ripping through solid steel.

Least all the JW1 kids did was scream and shit themselves, every minute they were on screen I hated them but they never kungfu chopped the I-Rex.

Would much rather have a well acted kid do one inconceivable thing over two kids be as annoying as fuck for an entire movie

This entire franchise has been chock full of such blatant mistakes. I'd like to think that if it was a different writer they would have had the neckbeard dude save the day with the crossbow but like you said this is the franchise where a girl beat a raptor with gymnastics moves so probably not.

Why does the thumbnail look like a black man with an enormous erection?

The credits were the best part though, I think we can all agree

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Another problem with these movies, which I suppose is often a problem with this genre but is especially bad here, is that the dinosaurs are supposed to be scary but there's no tension when then they're running from the dinosaurs because you know they have to survive or else there'd be no movie. The easiest way to increase the tension is to actually kill people so that it feels like there's higher stakes, but these movies are scared to do that too, or when they do it's always the most expendable people so you still don't feel like anyone important will ever be able to die. That's something I liked about Godzilla 2014, they killed a seemingly major character surprisingly early on which actually helped give the film some tension.

I'll keep seeing them until Hollywood provides me more high budget monster flicks. I honestly don't give a fuck about the writing. You're right. I just want to see dinosaurs battle each other and kill people.

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Are these things even capable of hurting her? They seem like they'd be too small to do any real damage. Perhaps that's why someone is filming it instead of helping her.

The compies i can believe because they multiply like mad, but stegosaurs and hadrosaurs on the highway? Theres barely like 20 dinosaurs on that boat

That bugs me too, they clearly just wanted an excuse to make a movie about "What if humanity had to coexist with dinosaurs" but achieved it in the dumbest way possible, by having a little girl choose to free about 20 dinosaurs and somehow there ends up being dozens of them in the wild. If they wanted to create this dinosaur apocalypse wouldn't it have made more sense for it to be a villain who set them free as some sort of final revenge? And everyone is so calm about it even though this short is supposed to be a year later when people would be well aware of it and should be hiding out in big cities or something.

Maybe if they showed a fleet of ships at the island, with Pratt and co barely managing to get onto the last one. Or even a throwaway line that it was the last ship

Four year old girl cocking a 150 lb crossbow.

The kids were annoying in Jurassic Park too. The franchise has never had a likeable kid in it.

Or establish that the expedition in the film is just the last of a series. You had that helicopter crew grabbing the I-Rex bone from the lagoon in the opening, you could easily have ships starting to pick up dinosaurs around that time too and just planning on picking up some of the predators last.

Remember that a bunch of them were able to take out a full grown man in The Lost World, as well as a slightly older girl at the start of the movie.

I can't remember if it's movie canon, but in the novels the Compy's saliva has some ability to paralyze their prey ... not enough individually, but once you get a swarm of them biting you it fucks you up.

Is there anything more kino that Walking with Dinosaurs?

this. KotM was good but I need more.

I hate that they keep putting kids in the movies even though nobody likes them, it consistently brings them down. Ironically enough Fallen Kingdom was the one that got closest to not having any but it still couldn't resist the annoying daughter and was the worst movie yet.

Maisie was honestly one of the least annoying parts of Fallen Kingdom, even if she was entirely pointless and even considering "THEY'RE JUST LIKE MEEEEE"

>The franchise has never had a likeable kid in it.
The kids in the first movie were alright, because they at least acted somewhat like kids for most of the run time. They were a little over-excited and cringe at the start - as kids would be when visiting a dinosaur park - but then they became a bit reserved after shit hit the fan. They were pretty good in the kitchen scene with the raptors, and only went slightly over the top during the scene where Lex has to play with the computer.

Kelly was mostly fine in TLW, because she wasn't really in the forefront for too much of it. But when she WAS highlighted she was given trying-too-hard-to-be-hip "teenager" lines, and then her gymnastics at the end became a huge meme for how dumb it was.

Eric was mostly fine in JP3 because he wasn't in too much of it. I don't remember him having much in the way of super cringely lines, but it also seemed pretty weird to have a *kid* character be the stoic one who managed to survive the island so well.

Jurassic World was just a train wreck. The kids were annoying, unrealistic, did dumb things for no reason.

Fallen Kingdom only had that one kid in it for the second half, but it was just totally farcical that they went down the "haha she's a clone" route. Fuck that.

KotM was cringey as fuck. I mean, it's hard to make a proper monster movie that isn't cringe given that they need to try to ground it around human characters ... but KotM did it so much worse than I was expecting.

why the fuck did this make me laugh so hard, am i a faggot?

>Someone just called out my name, I wonder what she wants- AUGH FUCK

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Battle at Big Cock

>thas RAY-SIS

The more jurassic world shit that gets released the more The Lost World becomes am underrated masterpiece of a dinosaur flick. Even JPIII is 1000 times better than the shitshow of this short and Jurassic World fallen kingdom

1. Shitty dinosaur effects
2. Shit use of practical
3. Shit atmosphere and tone
4. Shit acting
5. Shit horror
6. Almost no tension or immersiveness
7. Fucking garbage scripts

Kotm bombed/underperformed while all the Jurassic World bullshit makes billions. Kotm was too stupid for its own good, doofus.

It didn't bomb, that's the narrative critics like to push when they don't like a film. It makes money but they say look it bombed because we said it's bad. They think they're so cool.

Yeah they're probably just on the farm for Dino work. They look like they're just playing around

Wouldn't the national guard immediately step in and wipe out all the dinosaurs in a week if this actually happened?

>written and directed by trevorrow
There's your problem, brainlets.

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It's legit funny bro

The national guard cannot after two years decide if they want to bomb Iran, I doubt they would do anything about this.

It made less than the first one. It even had a bigger budget. That's why I said underperformed...

Still made money though. The difference is unlike JW2 it came out during a recession.

>It didn't bomb
Yes it did. It's sitting below 50% on the bigger review sites, and it didn't even make $400 billion on a $200 billion dollar budget (that is, it likely didn't even break even on budget + marketing costs).

The only thing it has going for it is that people generally considered the monster fights to be good enough for what they expected, and its tie in with the Skull Island movie which was better received and did better at the box office. Faint praise when all you can say for a movie is that it didn't TOTALLY kill the franchise before the big cross-over movie.

>Still made money though.
If it did (it probably didn't), it only just scraped by.

If it didn't make money they wouldn't be making Kong vs. Godzilla.

In numbers, yes. A few killed a baby in the first book.

You understand that Kong vs. Godzilla has been in production since before the release of King of the Monsters, right?

>>Still made money though.
Not to justify its existenve. Would you invest 400 Million dollars over a 3 year period only to get 50 Million back?

>You know that iconic scene from The Lost World where the T.Rex couple attack the trailer? Lets just remake part of that, except much worse, without any of the tension, with only a single smaller dinosaur, nobody gets eaten, and also the dinosaur gets chased off by a small girl with a crossbow.
>It's ok, as long as we use The Lost World's soundtrack over the credits we can say it was a homage, not just a really bad rip-off.
>Oh, also throw in a few shots mimicing the Spinosaurus' attack on the plane in Jurassic Park 3. People liked Jurassic Park 3, right?

The only way it could have been worse is if after the Allosaurus got shot with the crossbow, it shouted "Alan!"

People say underperformed because every movie that wasn't Avengers or a Disney live-action remake this summer got assfucked at the box office, but of the non-Disney underperformers, Godzilla did better then most. Godzilla's also doing really well for Blu-Ray sales.

i was PISSED when they stare at what’s going on. like the dinosaurs we fighting. start up the vehicle and FLOOR IT. as fast as the damn thing can go. and instead of covering the baby’s mouth?? omg

That's good. People always point to the box office at the end all not realizing that Blu-ray sales can save a movie and that not every movie is in every single theater in the world like Disney movies are. I remember I wanted to see Isle of Dogs and I could barely find any theaters that were even showing it.

>People say underperformed because every movie that wasn't Avengers or a Disney live-action remake this summer got assfucked at the box office
>People say underperfomed because ... [it] got assfucked at the box office.
This is one of the weirder attempts at apologetics I've seen in a while.

>but of the non-Disney underperformers, Godzilla did better then most.
"It performed poorly, but not AS poorly as others." I mean, OK, but this isn't exactly making a case for it.

>Godzilla's also doing really well for Blu-Ray sales.
Genuinely good for it. In the movie's defense, I get the impression that there is a sizeable market who are interested in the film - even if only for the dumb spectacle - who just had no interest in shelling out to view it in the cinema. That's not exactly what you want for your *summer blockbuster*, but rental money is still money.

I mean, look at BvS. It did not do so hot in theaters but the Bluray sales brought it back from the brink, which led to Aquaman being a huge success in theaters. These film companies play the long game with cinematic universes.

>These film companies play the long game with cinematic universes.
What? The exact opposite is true. DC is the perfect example, they keep acting on a whim to try to puff up their "cinematic universe" as shit keeps hitting the fan. Aquaman didn't happen because BvS managed to squeak by on Bluray sales, it happened because movie production is a huge monolithic machine that is difficult to stop once the engine has spun up. Aquaman was likely already in early production at BvS' release, and more importantly, during Justice League's release. It was always going to be made - just as Justice League was always going to be made by the time of BvS' release - all they could do was try to make alterations to whatever they could with whatever was left in production (see the Justice League reshoots and post-production visual effects corrections) to try to point in the direction the wind was blowing.

It's profit barely covers its ass. You know WB are shitting their pants for Kong 2: Electric Kaijuloo. You want your blockbusters to pass the 500 Million mark to stay satisfried. DVD profits go up to the what? Couple mil? 5 Million max? That's nothing in the eyes of a Hollywood accountant. What are the DVD sales figures exactly for Kotm, or are we only going by good faith??

>girl finds crossbow in the Wreckage Brother
>dude who let her shoot it is shown coming out of his untouched camper at the end

So what, he let a child take his loaded crossbow home?

>>play the long run
You mean by releasing their cross over events (the fucking justice league and Godzilla vs kaiju x) before they finish with the solo films? By the looks of it, they wanted to release their tentpole-ace cross-over events to catch up to infinity war? Why again? Not a good plan.

They literally mentioned in the dialogue that he was letting her play with it. This short was bad but that was not one of the issues with it.

Totally.

No, they said he let her shoot it, not that he let her take it home.

So if he let her shoot it why do people have problems with her using it at the end? Clearly she had practice.

Arrows come from the side of the frame. She is facing the front of the dinosaur.

Jurassic Park one's got a lot of personality to it. It's thought of as the big CGI movie, but less than a third of it is actual CG. The rest of it is character drama and a perilous adventure movie.

Because cocking and loading a crossbow and letting a child shoot it is one thing, but the short implies he either let her take home a loaded weapon capable of injuring a fucking dinosaur, or he sent her home with it unloaded and she's secretly child-Hulk, capable of cocking such a weapon herself. It's just lazy writing.

Clear enough?

>Let me head off that racist bullshit right now
Well put good sir!

>More like Battle at Nig Rock

I still havent watched JW2 the "dinosaurs into the wild" ending was actually real? How the fuck are you supposed to believe that they retake the world from a single mansion without getting killed right away. Just turn your brain off?

>"little kid does something badass to save someone" trope
Way to ruin a decent short when you could've easily have had their neighbor save them and have a nice wholesome message about the community taking care of each other.

They didn't really explain anything about it. I guess the most forgiving interpretation is that there's only a few dinosaurs so even with them out in the world they're seen pretty rarely.

In the news clips at the start of this new short it mentions "this could be the first dinosaur born on US soil", so presumably they're trying to imply that the dinosaurs which escaped at the end of Fallen Kingdom have started breeding? I guess they want to take it somewhere down the route established in the prologue of the first Jurassic Park novel, where some of the dinosaurs had managed to escape the island and were slowly building up their population in remote Costa Rican jungles?

None of it makes any sense though, no matter how you look at it. Only dozen or so dinosaurs escaped at the end of Fallen Kingdom ... so even if they all managed to escape and started to breed, this short establishes that not enough time has yet passed for the population of dinosaurs to increase itself significantly. There is no time jump where raptors were breeding in secret for a decade, we're still only talking about a dozen or so dinosaurs that managed to escape into the woods around the Lockwood Manor.

The threat in Jurassic World 3 is either going to feel suuuuper overblown and anemic, or it's going to be something entirely separate - like maybe dinosaurs are somehow releasing some new disease into the wild or whatever - with the dinosaurs only acting as garnish. That, or they just say "fuck it, we specifically skirted around Isla Sorna throughout all of Fallen Kingdom in case we couldn't come up with a better sequel hook, so we'll just go back there and do another dinosaur island plot".

Good shit. Faith restored and looking forward to JW3 if the direction is humanity interacting with dinosaurs like wild animals and not like a Godzilla raiding humanity sorta deal.

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This is a problem ALL the movies have had. They say they want to treat the dinosaurs like "real" wild animals, but they still put them in situations where they're implausibly busting through metal/concrete, chasing people like they have a grudge, etc. The newer movies do a much worse job at this than the originals ... but even this short shows the dinosaur implausibly - and somewhat comically - smashing it's way through a metal-framed camper ... only to then be fended off by a few little stabby sticks when convenient. Show it with some consistency - if it's supposed to be in "I'm just fucking shit up" rage mode, it can't pussy-foot away at the end.

user an animal that weights tons and has bone crushing jaws could fuck up a rinky dink trailer. Also it could be agrued that the Raptors since JP1 have been shown to hold something a kin to a gruge. So likewise they act like animals. Animals will fuck shit up if they can and certain animals remember certain people and hold a "gruge" of sorts.Also the Allo wasn't held off by metal sticks he was obviously doing the whole lean in close slowly before something happens bit. (See JP1) honestly most of these tropes have been around since JP1 and they're only being bashed in the new films because "muh hybirds." JW2 was fucking trash but if it was needed to be a stepping stone for something like the lost world novel. So be it.

There's this scene in JW2 where they're running away because the island is exploding and one of the dinosaurs actually stops to attack Pratt instead of running away from the immediate threat, which is a really good example of how these movies treat dinosaurs as monsters that only exist to hunt humans rather than the "real animals" they claim to be.

I love how no matter what the movie or TV show the first thing Yea Forums starts screaming and ranting about is the fact that non-whites exist.

What?

You forget about the dinosaurs that were sold and shipped off around the world during the auction, as well as Dr. Wu still being alive and having the genes in his possession. A lot of people and companies around the world are going to be cloning and breeding and researching their own dinosaurs in the time span between FK and 3.

Are you blind? The first post in is "hurr la creatura teeheepeepee!" and it snowballs from there because Yea Forums shits itself into a faggot frenzy over every non-white person it sees.

I think you all are ignoring the most important question about Battle At Big Rock:

youtube.com/watch?v=F4tNRhBucNA

.....What? Are you taking the bait right now?

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holy yikes man

Of course it's simply bait, my child, you're just funning everyone.

?....

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>You forget about the dinosaurs that were sold and shipped off around the world during the auction
So instead of "a dozen or so", the number is "a dozen or so, plus maybe an extra 5 or 6?"

Regardless, these animals are even less relevant than the others, given that they were either still confined by the end of Fallen Kingdom, or they'll be the only one or two animals in whatever country they end up. As opposed to the dozen or so animals in the area surrounding the Lockwood manor.

>as well as Dr. Wu still being alive and having the genes in his possession. A lot of people and companies around the world are going to be cloning and breeding and researching their own dinosaurs in the time span between FK and 3.
But what does this matter? Even if we assume they have been cloning new dinosaurs in the time since Fallen Kingdom, those dinosaurs wouldn't be getting released into the wild, and wouldn't be contributing to the "wild dinosaurs" problem that Jurassic World 3 is supposedly going to be dealing with. And even if these new dinosaurs were to get loose, this new short establishes that any new dinosaurs - cloned or otherwise - would still be babies at this stage.

Other companies having the ability to clone new dinosaurs is certainly a reasonable premise for a sequel, but my understanding was that Jurassic World 3 was wanting to deal specifically with the dinosaurs already loose in the wild. It'd be weird to build them all up, only for the plot to be "lol corporations plot" with the dinosaurs existing only on the side.

At the moment the story isn't finalized, and we all remember what happened with Jurassic Park III's constantly-changing story while it was being filmed. They also said no more hybrids, but that doesn't mean weaponized/trained dinosaurs can't be in it, which ties into Malcolm's "Genetic power is the most powerful and dangerous thing ever" tirade in the original book and film.

>short is called "battle at big rock"
>the battle is barely 30 seconds long with 25 of it focused on the humans
Say whatever you want about 3 and World, at least they actually showed the fights between the Tyrannosaurus rex and Spinosaurus/Indominus rex without lingering on the human characters.

What was so stupid about KOTM? "Too much monster stuff"? "Ugly moth"? "Where's the human drama"?

Stevie Nicks

MechaRandom is one of those YouTube people like Geeks and Gamers who makes a million videos a day saying DISNEY IS DEAD! KATHLEEN KENNEDY! IDENTITY POLITICS! GET WOKE GO BROKE! PLEASE LOVE ME! except she has the gimmick of being a woman with big breasts which she shakes around in every video so that all the neckbearded men can parade her around and say look! We have women too! We're not losers! Like G&G I am sure she doesn't give a fuck and will abandon this the moment it stops being profitable, which will be never because conservatives are the dumbest people on the planet.

This pissed me off too, the title implied that it would either be a battle between a bunch of dinosaurs or at least be humans fighting dinosaurs in some sort of post-apocalyptic last stand at the Alamo situation, but turns out that even in a 9 minute short they waste 8 minutes of it trying to make us care about this boring family we're never going to see again. Does not give me hope for the movie if this short is the most compelling thing they can think of to advertise it. We were promised a true Jurassic World and all we got is a couple dinosaurs doing the usual boring shit.

>battle at big rock
>barely any fight
>the allosaurus gets fucking gored by the nasutoceratops bull
>don't have any damage
>get crossbow bolts
>runs away liek a little bitch
>there wasn't any real fight
>it was way more focused on the "Ideal Hollywood Family" than any actual battle
I feel like I've been tricked, backstabbed and quite possibly bamboozled

But heeeeeeh, now allo doesn't have prognated wrists anymore, right guys?

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If KOTM doesn't have any human drama then I think I will like it. That's another thing that was good about Godzilla 2014. It didn't waste time with humans and focused on the important stuff: Godzilla protecting the planet from monsters. They only used humans to give context to what was going on.

I LOVE INTERRACIAL FAMILIES!!!! I LOVE DINOSAURS!!!

After the "we are a family for 2 years now" line I stopped caring about the humans altogether and skipped to the dino scenes.
The 5 to 10 seconds allosaurus vs triceratops action was good, but I hoped the movie would be mainly about that. And I wanted the allosaurus to eat that annoying crying baby.
And of course it's a black male/while female couple, because that's the safest interracial couple you can show (for some reason) and even in an 8 minute short you have to cram as much diversity in as you can. And the independent black girl who needs no parents safes the day. I wouldn't even dislike it if not this would be every studio movie right now, it is so predictable and cliche.

cont.

"we are a family for 2 years now" - I hate this lazy "as you know" exposition so much. And who talks to a child like that? For a kid this young 2 years doesn't mean anything. It could be an eternity or nothing. Whose cousin wrote this?

I don't get why they even needed that line. We're not going to see these people again, it was not in any way relevant to what proceeded to happen in the short, why does it matter how long they've been a family? Even if they changed nothing else about the scene, simply taking out the two years thing would have been less awkward and forced.

That's what I was thinking. It wasn't even necessary. They casts the kids even to immediately see they are a patchwork family. They could have just even used a more subtle line instead so everyone gets it, if it wasn't clear enough.
The script was so friggin lazy and it ruined the movie for me.

>the most annoying little girl ever
That award goes to the turbosmug nigglet in Stranger Things

>The franchise has never had a likeable kid in it
I kinda liked the boy from the third one because he actually got shit done and was more competent than any adult in that move, especially his parents.

They did the allosaurus dirty. Acted more like a T-Rex

T-rex is basically the only dinosaur they seem to know, 90% of the dinosaurs in this franchise behave like one.

The only good part was the end credit clips.

I like how the jumpy one at the rear just gives up.

It bothers me that there are so many people who liked that part. Shows just how far standards have fallen. Yeah man, we really needed to see the mosasaurus leaping out of the water in slow motion to eat something yet again. It's totally cool after having seen it five times.

I just want to see an entire fake documentary like Planet Earth narrated by David Attenborough where they are among us.

Ok anons lets save this short.
Change number 1 split characters between the two kids, the little one is the smart one, her stepbrother is the scared action guy.
Change 1.1 the little dinosaur gets eaten but the allo is still hungry, scene remains the same
Change 2, they cover the kid's mouth (the dinosaur still reacts to the first cry anyway).
Change 3, the kid is not strapped in and goes with the family.
Now it mostly goes like it is right now.
Change 4, the older kid is shoting the crossbow, he shoots once and is scared as fuck, dinosaur doesn't really care and turns towards him.
Change 5, Redneck McHippy comes back (from its car/whatever)and shoots a couple of slugs into the lizard, which at this point decides they're not worth its time, or maybe charges and kills him (guns bad mmkay?) then leaves now having eaten enough.

The thing about the short is that it's just a short, they could have killed these characters and that would have been fine because they're not the main characters of Jurassic World, but for some reason even in this short they were afraid to have even a single person die.

You have to keep your brand safe for families even in a short so no dead "good" characters. Look at that fucking shit they didn't even kill the baby dinosaur, that's complete bullshit.
They could have done what you say, but the horror crowd is not what brings money in the theaters, kids are.

you don't think they'd be like "hey, there are dinosaurs in this area, maybe we shouldn't camp here"?

i didnt read any of your posts. does this short have dinosaurs in it?

Also there were only like 20 animals that were all rounded up in the course of a single afternoon.

i dont think you know what the national guard is

nigger

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Sadly, no.

Can you imagine if people did their fucking jobs?

>Let me head off that racist bullshit right now
Yas queen!

The Last Jedi+Dinosaur casino subplot

I kind of like the idea of dinosaurs just roaming around but the way it was handled in JW2 was idiotic, there's absolutely no way such a small group of dinosaurs could roam around, they'd get rounded up almost immediately.

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>Yea Forums shits itself into a faggot frenzy
You have done that yourself.

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You are so triggered, and it's everything.

The family commentary killed the excitement of the fight. It was practically a react video with the amount of times it cut to some stupid kid spelling out exactly what was happening

What does Allosaurus have against interracial marriage?

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He doesn't see color he see a meal.

Funny how they are sending a pro gun message with this movie. if theres a chance that i could walk into a trex i am gonna be armed to the teeth

>Pro-gun
>crossbow

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>no you
Why is this board so fucking predictable?

brainlet: the post

Retard: the person

R-rated Jurassic/dinosaur movie when?

>Allosaurus
Look at how big that thing is, it's a Tyrannosaurus rex with eye fins. Not even the dinosaur the JW Allo is based on, its larger sister genus Saurophaganax, got that goddamned big. I hate how this series thinks it needs to make ever prehistoric beast it shows be anywhere from 2-5x larger than the real animals.

Someone made a size scaling of this allow. It's not bigger then the rex it's about as tall as the trailer in the film. The Rex is bigger and the biggest animal is the Spino. (That's been on screen) But most animals are accurate in terms of height. (aside from the raptors but they're just a different animal with a different name)

>not remembering the scene in the second movie.

>The two white boys in JW1

Budget isn't as big of an issue. You need to get the right people and a studio to greenlight something different. Until then we're stuck with family movies, documentaries, and schlock.

Hey maybe that live action JW show can push the boundaries since TV-MA shows are popular and it would be more neesh since it's TV

>It also proves that letting the dinosaurs free in JW2 was one of the dumbest writing choices in film history because surprise surprise, they just go around killing things
Will that clone girl ever be punished?

Nah they don't kill kids in PG-13