How did the witch abduct Samuel without the daughter noticing it...

what a fucking braindead faggot
absolute terrible post and cursed thread

>baby right in front of her
>literally right near her legs laying on a blanket
>somehow some whore managed to snatch the baby and vanish within a second without her noticing
I didn't watch the rest. There were other reasons but that was the last straw.

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You're hopeless, to be honest. The American education system and all the meds they feed you has hopelessly diluted and deconstructed your imagination and suspension of disbelief.

Nigga you dumb as a brick

You are aware it's a New England folktale, right? Like, played completely straight, no frills, no twist, it's completely honest in what it is. That actually throws people when they literally get what it says on the tin. Rewatch it as a 100% faithful recreation of a genuine witch panic story starring a qt girl whose cleavage you get to see a few times.

>ITT: dude just turn off your brain bro, it doesn't have to make sense lmao. Witches can teleport and turn invisible, ok?

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>ITT: seething user can't handle being sound btfo on a laotian pottery enthusiast party phone service

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Witch panic? Witches are real, satan is real, and the trials were 100% justified according to this movie.

I mean, people still panicked about it.

Obviously I'd much rather have a witch movie about some old hag that isn't magic and is immediately shooed off after trying to snatch a baby. Could be a short film. All this magic stuff is hooey. Who wants to see a movie about some bullshit that can't happen?

How dull.

Garbage movie

>not to mention that we clearly see her bathing in newborn blood and by doing so only then does she acquire the ability to fly.
The blood/fst of a male child has traditionally een used by witches for flight.

Rightly so. They didn't go far enough.

you dropped it because you couldn't understand what they were saying, nigger pleb.

There was no vvitch. It was her all along. Anything supernatural only occurs in her head

Don't mind me, just unassuming and corrupting the youth.

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Gay. It's a literal straight adaptation of a folktale. End yourself.

why would the fucking Satan waste his time masked as a goat talking to some dumb kids? He doesnt have anything smarter to do with his time? Unironically what was his end game here? To make that girl a witch? That somehow annoys God? Is the only correct answer here to conclude that British are brain dead and their folklore is retarded?

>playing straight a misogynist puritan myth to exonerate the Salem hanging judges
BASED

>tfw life is delicious

seethe cope and dilate

People are the center of the universe.

WILL SOMEONE POST WEBMS OF HER JIGGLING ALREADY JESUS

Corrupting the pious into subservience is that motherfucker's M.O. What are you talking about?

He killed the devout Christian Dad and bought his daughter's soul with butter. He had a game plan the entire time.

you saw her brother with the witch

>myth

When Thomasin was closing her eyes the witch could have just put her in a trance/sleep for a minute and she wouldn't have noticed.
This is probably even a beginners spell and not that complicated.

this movie was fucking shit

The devil wants souls, he got them. Are you this ignorant?

Sounds really contrived and convenient. What if the father killed her night before? All of them ended up dead except her. How come God didn't intervene. What happened to Caleb in the end? Was that God saving him by granting him death?

Let me guess user, you only watch the best of imported anime--non dubbed of course.

>american education
There is literally a shitton of those tales all around Europe where the devil bargains with random people and tries to collect their soul. Sometimes they trick him, sometimes he tricks them.
This is just one of those set in New England.

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you're not going to convince anyone kiddo

What kind of brown person are you user? What are your folktales about?

They're Calvinist, therefore it was all pre-determined. Calvinists are heretics.

I guess he'd be out one living vessel, but he'd still have an entire reverent family's worth of souls.

The whole thing is about pride forcing them out of God's grace. They were on their own.

Why does having shit tastes make you react so vehemently?

what an absolute plot point mental midget lmao

It's actually her having sex with her own brother.... There even fake fucking before in front of the younger kids...
Your IQ is lower than I expected op. No he said he was tricked it was actually black Phillip pulling him to hell.

this thread was made by a mexican

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>Don't mind me, just unassuming and corrupting the youth.
man, he even looks like a jew, pretty clever

We was kangs and shit nigga. Keep seething

My faggot friend likes it

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>There even
>pointless ellipsis
go back reddit nigger

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Yakub nigger detected

>it was actually black Phillip pulling him to hell.
How did you conclude this?

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Go back tourist faggot

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>have sex
>calls others tourist

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BUTTER

>what could have prevented her from doing so in any other situation for the rest of the movie?
No more babies being left unattended on the edge of the woods. The VVitch was just the inciting incident, the family does most of the damage to themselves as they break down, leaving ayy lmaofu with nowhere to go except big black phillip.

Who's the retard that doesn't know how to reply

summer is over go to school

Dude you don't even know how to reply you subhuman tourist shit. Get the fuck off my board faggot cunt

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>seething this hard because you're being denied your precious (You)'s

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this should become some new meme

@121106568
You're the only new one here bucko

learn how to reply so you don't standout like the plebbit shit you are

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This. Make it hard for fbi to track our conversations

>tfw have the best of the sexy witch's nude photoshoot but can't post

she has nudes? the witch actress? and you're not going to post?

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I dare not post more

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just put up an imgur album link and delete after 2 minutes

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>What happened to Caleb in the end?
One of the points in Calvinism.
>"Irresistible grace", also called "efficacious grace", asserts that the saving grace of God is effectually applied to those whom he has determined to save (that is, the elect) and overcomes their resistance to obeying the call of the gospel, bringing them to a saving faith. This means that when God sovereignly purposes to save someone, that individual certainly will be saved. The doctrine holds that this purposeful influence of God's Holy Spirit cannot be resisted, but that the Holy Spirit, "graciously causes the elect sinner to cooperate, to believe, to repent, to come freely and willingly to Christ." This is not to deny the fact that the Spirit's outward call (through the proclamation of the Gospel) can be, and often is, rejected by sinners; rather, it is that inward call which cannot be rejected.
No matter what Caleb did, he would still be showered by God's grace. This is the point in Calvinism, from the moment you're born, your path to heaven or hell is already set. It's predestination.

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>subhuman
you 90s born queer tourists cant help outing yourselves and i know it realky bothers you when you don't get your hit.

I don't know how I've used imgur like once before

here's a handy step by step tutorial
1.open imgur.com
2.tab out to your picture folder, select desired pictures
3.drag them over to the imgur page
4.put something for a title
5.select between public and private
that's it nigga

Predestination is real, but man fuck Calvinism for just understanding one of the core concepts of Christianity.

imgur.com/a/VSJRHMg
Does this work?

Why do you not know how to reply?

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I'm not going to feed baiting 90s born queers

it does

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If you're predestined to go to Heaven or Hell, then why not just go around raping and murdering people since it doesn't matter?

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based retard

According to Calvinism, being part of the elect aka a Calvinist heretic dumbfuck, the grave of God would call you not do that from the beginning.

Ay he figured it out!

So if you do want to rape, it means you're destined to go downstairs and might as well do it?

Means you were one of the damned and evil already, so yeah pretty much. There's a lot of variable in the nitty gritty of the theology, but that's the gist of it. Calvinism is genuinely stupid and completely misses the point of Christianity's whole deal with free will.

Just post some Anya ffs

>looking at him
She wasn’t. She covered her eyes. Witch used magic to abduct baby because she’s a fucking witch, dumbass OP.

Is this what you wanted? Is it? Huh?

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>what was his endgame
Forming a harem.

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My experience with this movie was turning the volume down when the music slowly got crazy loud, and turning it back up when everyone spoke very quietly. The loud music was accompanied by still shots of the house/forest which made about 60%-70% of the movie. Was this really a good movie?

amazing pair

The baby was “spirited away”. A puritan’s worst fear

>She covered her eyes.
for a fucking second you fucking retard

we can go wider

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Because Satan's a cunt

When I watched this movie I had to take a shit like halfway through so I paused it. When I came back where the movie had paused the little boy twin was singing or saying something and I swear to god his mouth looked like it extended all the way around his head. I laughed for a good few minutes before unpausing, but I couldn't not notice how fucking huge his mouth was after that. He looked like a canadian from south park to me for the rest of the movie. It was a pretty good movie but I really wish I hadn't paused right then and there on my first viewing because it was hard to take anything seriously after that.

And that’s all a magic wielder needs, faggit.

That qt won't save you cause I already COOOOOOMED earlier, reddit scum

Remember the man behind Winky’s in Mulholland drive? We’re supposed to believe he inserted himself into a dream, then waited behind Winky’s for hours irl?!?!

What a plothole 0/10.

I guess the teleportation powers were on cooldown for the rest of the movie.

VVitch threads are for three things:
>posting sexy women
>arguing about religion
>saying how boring it was

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She’s got a very thick neck

Also, butter

They weren’t needed again were they?

So i guess they are only used when you need to steal some baby to make yourself ointment.

pull your cock elsewhere

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>COOOOOOMED earlier
>calls others reddit scum

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he's wrong. she teleported inside the thing with the goats, i don't know what its called. at night, when the kids were there.

shit film, but I have high hopes for lighthouse

>the thing with the goats, i don't know what its called
you're very endearing user.

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how come she didnt teleport the goat out of the stable instead?

The goat was her master

she was sucking off the different Goat