Jesus... Wept

I have a soft spot for 3 and 4 even though they're pretty cheesy.

After that, you get into the Straight to Video and you can call it a day.

id say the one is space is worth watching just for I CANT BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY MADE THIS jokes

Chronologically, I'd say the first through Bloodline are watchable with Bloodline (Pinhead in space) being the weakest since they acknowledge previous movies, but nothing after Bloodline makes any sense whatsoever.

lolwut

And to think... I hesitated..

Most kino depiction of hell in cinema

Are any worth it as fun, bad horrors? Like the way any Saw past 1 is fun to watch.

can anyone explain this to me? for real, not memeing here. jesus wept. what why?

great film tho I really liked it

Actually it was Judas.

So why did the Rubix cube summon cenobites anyway, never got that

guess what the spacestation turns into

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2 and 3.

it's from the bible
you know, one of those white supremacist things

Judas wept because guilt. Jesus did not.

Most of the Hellraiser films after Bloodline seem pointless since you already know the fate of Pinhead hundreds of years in the future anyway.

At least he died with a smile.

>Unless you want pain and suffering in which case yes
>mfw it's the films after Hellbound that provide the true Hellraiser immersive experience

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I... Coomed

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is the title hellraiser: bloodline? you have me hooked now.

should be jesus coomed

I KNOW, YOU'RE TIRED
OF LOVING, OF LOVING

"blood and gore cost money, lets make them all lame twisty bullshit instead."

yes it is
>hooked
lel

One of the straight to videos had Kirsty return, but it was as trash as all the others. They're all unrelated scripts they threw Pinhead into, except the very latest which are unbelievably cheap outings meant only to secure the franchise ownership.

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>And Jesus swept..

What? Why did Jesus sweeping the floor be a prudent piece of information?

Open-world Hellraiser video game where you play as Pinhead and take various people to hell when?

Seinfeld... 4

member that VHS that had a countdown of these horror movies? What was that movie with the tree that bled crazy amounts of blood "kill the bitch" was a quote from that segment i think.

>s,a,t,a,m
>satam?
>who the fuck is satam?

It signifies that while you're being tortured in hell, jesus is too busy sweeping to care.

the only tree shit that comes to mind is evil dead

top kek

pweeeasee... just explain it to me
why did he say it

I'm not sure what you're talking about but is The Guardian the movie with the tree?

evil demons dragging souls to hell make jesus cry
how is that hard to understand

Jesus didn't weep you dingdong. Judas wept because of the guilt he had for betraying Jesus
He said it i the film because the writers thought it was good writing.

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dollar tree pinhead

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>jeez, you swept?
Was it really necessary to insult the housekeeping at that point?

He actually says "Geez, I wept"
One of those mondegreen things

John 11:35. He wept over the body of Lazarus. It's the shortest verse of the bible.

God no. I'm not sure how I sat through them.
Adam Scott shows up in one, which was fun.

It references the shortest verse of the King James Bible, in the Gospel of John, chapter 11, verse 35. The Gospel of Luke also mentions that Jesus wept as he entered Jerusalem before his trial and death anticipating the destruction of the second temple.

I believe it was an ad-lib. Something about the interplay of agony and divine bliss

>Christfag doesn't know his own bible

How is that relevant to the situation though? Lazarus' resurrection and Franks sadism?

I........ still dont understand
this is your brain on jerking off four times a day guys.. dont do it. ill go cry and cuddle with my kitty now. i hate myself and my life

>Christfag
>implying
Deist you cunt. Get it right or don't try.

it's not you, both here and in other discussions, people seem not to understand the question. it's always like
>why did frank say it
>its the shortest passage in the bible
it doesn't follow

Christianity is basically a BDSM cult.

Frank puts himself above Jesus for not crying and enduring the pain, while Jesus prayed to God and cried moments and during when he was on trial. it's literally not hard to grasp.

He did it for the same reason Pinhead emulates Jesus in Hell on Earth. It's mockery.

Then what was the point of the garden? Why did jesus accept it like a man one minute and become a bitch the next?

>wept

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Because the bible's passages conflict with each other was written by Jewish retards and makes no logical sense.

The authors of the gospels wanted the bipolar audience.

>not using a camel as your fleshlight

Hellraiser should crossover with Event Horizon

3 is watchable. nothing after though

>not using a needle as your fleshlight
FTFY

Yes. Part 5: Inferno is kino and there is nothing anyone can do or say to prove otherwise.

I liked Inferno but it could've been much better. Just taking the fucking cowboys out of the film would've improved it significantly.

>COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
vocaroo.com/i/s1k5N2N3GV4o

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maybe because he was part god and part man

>the god part was a bitch

If I have to watch Hellworld one more time, I'm going to go out and meat hook someone.

It was still better than Revelations. Don't watch that under any circumstances, ever.

Inferno (V) is neat and it's the best of the "generic script with pinhead clumsily shoved in" sequels. It's also directed by Scott Derikson who went on to direct modern Blumhouse flicks and Doctor Strange so it's interesting to see for that alone.

I like Hell on Earth (3) too but I wouldn't describe it as good. It's like a shitty Nightmare on Elm Street sequel and Pinhead is reduced to goofy one liners. If you're into that sort of thing, you'll enjoy it. Avoid the rest.

It's a saying you dip

Frank actual was peak coomer since he was searching for the ultimate sadomasochistic coom. He was even resurrected from a dried-up wad.

>Don't know, I don't know such stuff! I just do eyes!

Hellworld was the Lance Henrickson one right? It had a Halloween 3 feel to it for me. Like yeah if it wasn't a Hellraiser movie it would actually be ok.

Garak really let himself go

>not being the needle that broken the camel's ass
Why

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHH A NEW WOJACK! XD

I love 3 and 4. They're not as strong or atmospheric as the first two but they look a little slicker.

cringe

A couple nights before he died Jesus was given a vision of what he'd have to endure, his passion and death, in order to redeem mankind. He wept, not really out of fear but as acceptance of the cost.

But in bongland "Jesus wept" is an expletive, much like how burgers just say "Jesus Christ!" at shit. So the scene is Frank either basically saying "holy shit now this is suffering!" or boasting that Jesus cried and he didn't

He's clearly enjoying his suffering

>VHS
I remember this DVD. Shit was fun, still own it. Man, I was so into horror back then..

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>tfw he starts doing Doctor puns

Unironic top cheesy kino.

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Gay

Yes, Clive Barker is gay. What's your point?

The greatest men in history were gay

This. Brace yourself.
archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/105971039/

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Clive Barker is a degenerate homo, yet he made the ultimate anti-degeneracy and pro-Christianity fable.
Based.

>Brace yourself

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such as?

Nails through his hands, bruv. That shit hurts.

Stupid slamander poster

Not quite right, jesus wept is used to express fustration at extreme incompetence or exasperation at a situation. So the use in the movie is a bit ironic, his situation is so beyond horrific and he expressed this sort of humoured helplessness with it.

>Alexander the Great
>Emperor Hadrian
>Leonardo da Vinci
>Michelangelo
>Clive Barker
>Jesus of Nazareth
>Oscar Wilde
>Freddie Mercury
>Alan Turing
>Rob Halford
>every single person in Plato's Symposium
The list goes on

Lying faggot

The only one that isn't 100% confirmed in that list is Leonardo da Vinci.

He was weeping for us. He went through immense suffering before his death to absolve us all of our sins

how was jesus gay? he was a celibate

He and Lazarus of Bethany were lovers. Read the Gospel of John (which is actually the Gospel of Lazarus, but inaccurately attributed to the son of Zebedee) and the Secret Gospel of Mark.

he saw all sin and paid for it so we dont have to

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>platonic life-partners are gay
When will all the fags disappear

>platonic

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unless you're suffering from severe hormonal problems that completely kill your sex drive, celibacy is always a state of tension and distress. keeping it up forever means you probably enjoy that in a sexual way. in other words: because celibacy is always accompanied by strong sensations it can be interpreted as a perversion itself (enjoying denying yourself, degrading yourself etc.).

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Barker and co failing to make more than a single good Hellraiser movie

Daily reminder that homosexuality was literally invented in the 80s

>he is too degenerate to ever know the joys of love between men that doesn't involve sexual deviance
I feel bad for you.

This line would have been so much more iconic if he said it without the pause in between the words.

The word was.

Alex the great was simply too good looking for hus time period. Don't mistake metro for homosexuality.
Genghis had hundreds of illegitimate children so he was bi at best.

>love between men
Lol

Whats some other essential COOMERcore?

Alexander was probably bi too but that's still gay

>NO TEARS PLEASE, IT'S A WASTE OF GOOD SUFFERING

8mm is underrated kino

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Or its about him weeping before the passion

Always viewed the cenobites as being religious zealots to the extreme; a lot of extreme people practice self-flagelation as a sign of religious belief. The cenobites are basically living in a constant state of Christ's passion.

>he's been so twisted by fag propaganda that he's forgotten love for his fellows, those who in times of need would be like brothers
Faggotry and it's extended campaigns (LGBT) are the most effective psyop around.
The term love meant more to people once upon a time. So did brother and family.

Why does God try to make us feel guilty and keeps using humans as mouthpieces to tall about how much his son suffered for us. Like nigga - you control the multiverse, why's your son gotta die? You can just forgive all sins and save all souls, without bloodshed

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the whole hellraiser theme is an allegory for the (evil) material world created by the (evil) creator god:
immortal spirit trapped in bodies to experience the "horrors of the flesh " until they somehow manage to "find the key" and solve the cube (cube of saturn - material world)

It really is a shame the film series went to shit because I find the lore incredibly interesting.

>moving the goalposts to fraternal love as if that somehow means they weren't gay
That's a lot of coping user

God is bound by his own laws/personality. God is just therefore sin must be punished. God is merciful therefore his son takes the punishment for us.

People give Schumacher shit for Batman & Robin but this film redeems that.

god has a retarded personality if that is the case

Two reasons
First reason (Abrahamic edition):
God had rules for jews and they flaked so jesus' whole display was in keeping with those rules (transfer of sin and death of sin by proxy) and through that ultimate sacrifice would end the old rules of jews (animal/human ;^)) sacrifice and bring forth a new covenant

Second Reason (irrefutable edition):
Because everything based on the old testament is like writing a sequel to a book you read once that had a REALLY bad translation. The bible is unequivocally wrong meaning Christians and Muslims are ALSO wrong because the Torah can be traced back to babylon and Sumeria and is unironically just jewish unga bunga fanfiction of a vastly more complex and rich religion. A lot of the Old testament dogma which doesn't make sense is so because it was based of an otherwise more sensible origin in Sumeria and Babylon which got butchered in the transition to being all about them and their storm demon God.

>first post said platonic life partners
>second post said love between men without sexual deviance
>third post speaks of the real meaning of fraternity in the context of the ancient significance of family
The goal posts didn't move they just look different now your head has popped out of your ass.

Jesus died so that he could rise from the dead and show us that suffering and death are not the end.

In Christian doctrine its because we literally abandoned God and committed original Sin. In Protestantism, you're supposed to believe that no miracles have happened since Christ left us. In Catholicism you believe that God sometimes works through the actions of the incredibly pious, loyal and occasionally sacrificial.

Imagine actually creating life in your image and giving them paradise and the only instruction you give them is "don't eat this fruit" and they do it anyway.

>The goal posts didn't move
>literally listed multiple forms of nonsexual love to divert attention from the homosexual character of the aforementioned people
How about you take your head out of your ass user?

He literally did not. The rule was that a man bore his sin. The way around this was to partake in pious ritual where a creature without sin (like a lamb) takes on the sin of man and is killed in their stead.
God wanted to transfer to new management fairly so his last act under the old covenant was in accordance with its laws and after having preformed the final sacrifice the new covenant officially took precedence.

>aforementioned people
>bunch of not gay people then some contemporary queers
lel
But of course you've got your interpretations which are 100% certain.

This is why straight guys can't be friends with fags, you're all aggressively thirsty, any time I've tried to just befriend a fag at work they think me being courteous is a green light for me wanting to fuck their assholes. There's a such thing as having a bro that sticks by you through thick and thin, but a thirsty faggot like you will never know the feeling

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>bunch of not gay people
Have you ever read anything about those people?

Ching chong. I think he means Jesus was a pussy for NOT liking how it felt. The line is "and Jesus wept" said with contempt.

You opened the box... And we COOMED...

>There's a such thing as having a bro
And then there's such a thing as fucking your bro in the ass and then commissioning dozens of Greek nudes of him after he dies.

Good man.

sauce?

imdb.com/title/tt1924396/?ref_=tt_sims_tt

where do you draw the line between homolust and bromance?

Ulterior motives instead of respect and commitment. It's just the same as discerning romantic love and lust.

At cuddling

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You don't. It's something only closet homos give a shit about
I'm friends with a gay dude who used to hit on me all the time. I have female friends I find attractive and have female friends who find me attractive. That's normal

You can't draw a line unless maybe you're buttfucking eachother then I'd say that's sort of gay

You tried the comics? They're not great, but they're fairly Hellraiser at least

Holy shit
Can you use a tripcode from now on so I can block it?

so it's not gay as long as there's no physical intimacy?

No get fucked lmao

It lacks romantic intimacy as well but yes, a lack of physical intimacy is one of the grand tells.

While they are pointless, Pinhead mostly serves as something to move the plot along in most of these movies anyway, his fate is generally unimportant to the plot.

Hellbound Heart and Damnation Game were good, but he really proved he was a cut above the rest with The Great and secret show.

If you're not cuddling on the diner table or spending the night half naked with a rabbi who wants to teach you the "mysteries of the kingdom of god" it's probably not gay

For there were no more worlds to conquer.

use google you dense faggot

3 does not fit thematically at all. it's not a bad movie and has some cool visuals and scenes, but near the end you get the feeling this wasn't written with pinhead as main antagonist in mind
4 does fit thematically, especially with 2, but just isn't that good
the rest is, as said by others 'random script with pinhead thrown in', the reboots are to be avoided completely

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32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.
34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Because despite what modern-day hedonists say feeling guilty or shameful is a good thing. It tells you instinctively that you have done something wrong, and you then force yourself not to do that thing in the future.

>implying you can't feel guilty or shameful because you're a masochist

That's the old school Christian morality. Modern Christians get their kicks from telling other people how to live their lives on the internet.

divine kino, Ave Maria

this user is correct, Jesus was a scapegoat, in the Biblical sense

That Mary is the sister of Lazarus not Jesus's mother, retard.

>is any part after 2 worth it?
Everyone's already said no and I will too. Hellraiser after 2 is boring as shit. They're not even funny bad.

based and breadpilled

Wtf why was this post stickied

part 2 is actually the best film in the original trilogy and apparently also a supreme pleb-filter

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except your instincts (gods design) are heavily flawed, proven by the fact that mortal men all around the globe are systematically turning them around to cause the exact opposite of what they were intended for.

you can take a womans instinct to love and support to turn her into a prostitute, you can take a mans love for his heritage, country and fellow humans to support a murderous dictatorship.
listen to your god-given bodily signals to eat all the carbs you can (to fatten up before winter), and fellow men will abuse that to make money from you with their man-made products and to make you unhealthy instead of keeping you healthy (gods intended design). do this every day and your habit of listening to your natural programming will turn you into a hellraiser-like abomination and your life into a living hell.

instinct means nothing. instinct is the problem-solving algorithm of the animal, of the lower soul that does not possess any logos, that does not have any capability of thinking for itself.

everything great humans have achieved stems from being able to suppress god-given instinct: we are civilized, because we suppress the urge to shit when we feel like it, rape when we wish we could, murder when we were wronged by someone etc. etc.
civilization = not listening to instinct but to HIGHER ideals (higher than your given animalistic design).

we are not vessels meant to revert back to a state where we submissively just act on ORDER (what we are programmed to feel, for instance the SHAME you mentioned), but the fleshy battleground between pure animal (nature/gods design) and pure mind.
if there is a shred of human in you, you'll think before just acting on instinct. mindless masses that follow whatever dumbass trend, cult, political party or movement follow instinct.

That Revelations one might be one of the worst things I've ever seen
youtube.com/watch?v=orWK-QlPSfg

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If God omnipotent and all knowing, he already anticipated humans would eat the forbidden fruit. If he knew this would happen, why did he bother giving humans a sense of curiosity? Why did he tempt us? Why not just let us live in the garden and watch us have a merry time, like ants in an ant farm, instead of leading us down a path to the clown world we are in now?

that story isn't literal, user.

part 2 is the reason the series became shit

part 2 is the movie most commonly sampled in early 90's industrial music for a reason, friend

Because being fucking crucified makes a man hesitate duh

music can't save a terrible script you dumb shit

obviously dork, Ave Maria is a prayer

God wants to pretend we have free will. Only those that realize that is bullshit are taken out of the game

>hailing Mary in response to a post mentioning a different Mary
You obviously didn't know what that verse was even about.

*blocks your path*

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catholics consider a sin to actually read the bible
that's why they worship mary

Frank with all his skin on was crazy attractive holy shiet
No wonder Julia was so obsessed

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*watches the 8 minute clip on youtube and call it a day*

That and because of religious syncretism with the pagan mother goddess.

no more worlds to conquer

nice word nerd. I'm not googling that

>immense suffering
If these is achievement, how come that we know ordinary people suffered thousand times more.

And he is half-god, with full knowledge that it is not end.

how did he pay for it? With camels?

jesus christ
this looks like someone filmed it on a commercial camcorder with no added lighting on a weekend.

I'll put it in brainlet terms for you

what if i put my god and ur god in a bowl and like mix them together

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imagine a 30 year old grown ass man breaking down and fucking crying lmao

That is normal behavior for a Jew.

Hellraiser in space ain't that bad

>He literally did not.
Eyewitnesses and Josephus say otherwise

What eyewitnesses? And Josephus was adulterated by Eusebius of Caesarea.

>He was a counsul of Leviathan!

>he died so he could rise from the dead
>no he didn't
>BUT PEOPLE SAW HIM DO IT
This is impressively dumb.
a) no they didn't they inspected the tomb and or pocked his holes
b) he died to become a sacrifice as in accordance with first OT cov laws.

wow totally miscast, looks like a baby

my head canon is that the bible is a story about God growing up an maturing from an old testament tantrum having child to a wiser more loving one

he still wants to burn people in the new testament tho

brutal

ever have a bad day?

>read these fanfics to find the truth

>In Protestantism, you're supposed to believe that no miracles have happened since Christ left us.
That's not what Protestant believe

Secret Mark is coherent with Mark's style and was probably written by the same author. I agree on John being fanfic tier however.

Smokin. . . causes cancer

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What about the ultra-secret Gospel of Judas

seethe

Says nothing about Jesus' sexual preferences as far as I know.

dumb quote
Chastity=/=Celibacy
Sexual intercourse can be chaste

Chastity and celibacy are synonyms outside of doctrinal definitions.

that has to be shopped.

nonsense
S&M enthusiasts don't call it a Celibacy Cage because the device is powerless to prevent marriage

chas·ti·ty
/ˈCHastədē/
Learn to pronounce
noun
noun: chastity

the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse.
"vows of chastity"
synonyms: celibacy, chasteness, virginity, abstinence, self-restraint, self-denial; singleness, maidenhood, the unmarried state; innocence, purity, virtue, goodness, decency, morality, decorum, modesty, wholesomeness; immaculateness; rare continence
"the Vestals were sworn to a life of chastity"
antonyms: promiscuity, immorality

The script was fine, the Cenobite group reconnecting with their humanity and dying because of it was also fine. The only problem is that Clare Higgins wanted out and they couldn't be bothered to recast Julia, so we didn't get a Queen of Hell to serve as a new antagonist for future installments.

>The script was fine, the Cenobite group reconnecting with their humanity and dying because of it was also fine
you do realize that after humanizing and killing the cenobites there was almost nothing else to work with in the potential sequels, right? revealing the dimension they came from was another mistake that blew up the series and divested the cenobites of all their mystery and allure
hellraiser 2 had the script of a movie that's supposed to end the series, not expand it. the pseudo-cenobites in the third movie and pinhead's remark on how shitty they were compared to his former companions is nothing but an in-universe admission that they had fucked up the entire thing

>the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or

Or...?

BECAUSE GOD IS A BEING ABOVE GOOD AND EVIL
THE BIBLE IS CODED WITH ALL SORTS OF ESOTERIC MESSAGES THAT SMOOTHBRAINED PLEBS WON'T GET BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE TAUGHT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE

Reality is such that it must conform to mathological rules, or else it falls apart. It must have consistent physics and internal logic, or it falls apart back into the quantum goo.

If you're not a burnout coombrain like a lot of people ITT, you should be able to figure this out.

Dr. Frankenstein I presume.