Character is 25

This happened to me at 22, dont think theres a worse feeling

>character is put into an arranged marriage at 15
>fucks her raw daily in secluded mansion
Imagine being a poorfag.

>NOOOOOOOOOO BELIEVE MY FAKE MAGICAL SKY DADDY

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imagine larping as a muslim on 4channel

>characters friends say he will find someone one day
>as soon as he asks them for advice they ghost him

isn't reddit famous for being anti-religion? Specifically anti-Christianity?
Makes you think...

YEAh but christlarpers aren't religious.
In face in most cases it's former antitheists now larping as cuck jews for the exact same reason.

I don't talk to my dad anymore because he's a scumbag but we used to get in arguments and he'd call me a faggot every single time. I eventually got fed up and said "if I was gay what you just said was a hate crime" and he gets this big fucking smirk on his face and goes, OH, SO YOU ARE GAY ;^)

Still to this day I really want to physically beat him to death and I've considered it a few times, but I came to the conclusion that he'll likely be dead in a few years anyways, so kicking his fucking teeth out of his head just isn't worth it logically.

>Character is 35
>Parents stopped asking

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I haven't been asked since I was 19

My dad did that for a while but then I'd call him a failure because my mum cheated on him & left so all I need to do to win an argument is to remind him of that

ur dad is based

I'm religious and I agree there's a very severe problem with Christians.
I rarely ever meet people who call themselves Christians and follow the teachings of Christ, or are even aware of his teachings.

>God has to be what is in the bible!
>I don't believe in the bible therefore God doesn't exist!
Brainlet tier. God doesn't have to be a Christian God.
cope

I got that at 16. Fucking surreal.

>God doesn't have to be a Christian God.
Are you incapable of scrolling up to see what started the argument?

>brainlet
Only literal retards use this meme and I thank you for confirming that.

>father hounds 19 year old character about meeting new people and finding a gf
>character brings home 17 year old QT and fucks the shit out of her
>father unlocks door while character is balls deep to complain that's inappropriate and she needs to leave

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Fag

>girls in character's social group say a girl would be lucky to have him
>whenever they try to set him up with someone the girl leaves after a few mins or theres just 0 chemistry at all and its painful
>they stop trying to help after a while and dont bring up the subject again

>character is 60
>parents are kill

Yeah. I meant to reply to the other one.

Cope

>character is older than dirt posting on a kinoplex employee worship imageboard

>character's mom asks him if he'll ever have kids out of the blue, when she knows full well he has barely even spoken to a woman since he left school
This character is very poorly written.

>Character is 33
>Dies for your sins

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>character's dad starts calling him virgy

>character is asked if he's gay
>It's alright if you are!
>character isn't gay.

>character tells them hes just awful with women and none of them like him
>parents look even more sad and say he isnt trying enough
>tells them all the times hes tried hooking up with girls but they had 0 interest and would walk away
>parents say the "well if you dont try so much they will come to you" despite the character already having tried that with no success

Nigga I'm not gay, but getting a GOOD gf while being unemployed and non-ambicious is stupidly hard.
If I just want a gf to hang out at small cheap places, fuck, watch anime and play videogames... why can't I find a girl who wants the same? Are they THAT different from us men? Because guys are perfectly fine doing just those things I listed.
How else do you expect him to hunt vampires?

>character becomes 25
>COOOOMS

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Do guys even like to dance? Or just do it because girls like it?

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Cus girls like it

>Character is 26
>Parents stopped asking him questions 3 years ago

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There are girls out there who want the same, but they have thousands of men waiting in line for them who want that too but are employed and ambitious.

>girls used to ask character out
>character is sperg who would reject due to anxiety
>character watches as the boat leaves the docks and everyone forms relationship and eventually get married later

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based retard memer

>character is 25
>never even kissed a girl

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>average age of marriage for men is 30
>average amount of years dating before marriage for men is 5
>25 KHV in 2 months

It's all over...

Just convert to Islam, christcucks.

That doesn't guarantee you a woman

>character is 24 and has never had a conversation with the opposite sex

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got my gf a year ago
now everyone is jealous of me

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MODS

same

but my parents started acting messed up when I was 14, my mom started asking why there are no places I can't get a full time job

when I was 15 we moved to bumfuck no where and they dropped me off at the job centre in a town I didn't know, you have to be 18 and have an appointment and I was just standing around in a car park for 2 hrs

Its like they wanted to fast track me out the house

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Shoulda beat his ass honestly.

> so, uh... do you like marvel flicks?

I like to dance and I'm a dude. That being said, I think most of the guys here are the type to just go to a party or a dance and just kinda stand on the side with their drinks.

would you rather have your parents think you're hopeless loser who will never get a gf

>character's co-worker asks if hes single
>says if he needs any help getting a girl he just has to ask her and she'll try and set him up (she has a bf so it wasnt her selling herself)
I dont know if she meant her single friends, because she lives 2 train stops away from me or just trying to get me with someone else at work, I'm worried with the latter incase they run to HR and it screws my job up

>Risking Eternal Damnation to be a fedora tipping edgelord
Shiggy

>characters mother turns to the internet for help

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would you rather not have parents

I'm 21 and have never even held hands with a girl. I'm not looking forward to the day when my parents ask me if I'm gay. I sense that time is coming soon.

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Oh god I haven't seen this in years, why

t. fag

How the fuck do you go through high school without fucking some horny girl? He must be gay.

Literally me and I'm 23

>be me yesterday
>hanging out at friends apartment complex pool
>two girls show up
>they start charging with me
>the cuter one is into me
>were throwing a football, playing monkey in the middle and she and I are touching each other and other shit
>eventually get her number
>tell her that Im going to a birthday dinner for a friend and she interprets this as an invite
>tell her "i didn't mean to have it come off as an invite" and she gets pissed at me
>she isn't texting me anymore

Fucking sucks lads. I was so close and fucked it all up

>characters mother takes things into her own hands

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I am in my last year of uni and I never even kissed a girl

>it's Sunday
>character doesn't feel like shit over having to go to work the next day

Horny girls go to the normal guys not socially anxious people, me and my whole social circle in school didnt get laid

correct

All women are whores.

I love to dance. Alone by myself in my room. If I go to a club I usually just close my eyes and thrash around the floor. I hate dancing with other people.

>character is 27 year old virgin wageslave loser retard drunkard junkie

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also hate my dad and it’s good you realized it isn’t worth it to even try after a certain point

I only started noticing horny highschool girls after I turned 21. While I was a hs boy myself I trusted their innocence and purity and never got any lewd vibes from them but now I can start casually chatting with 16-18 yrs old girls and notice how many innuendos they use and how much they lust after some actors/musicians because of their bodies and not their craft

kek

If all women are whores why can't you get laid?

Because I don’t like whores

Because whores are picky

>Family gave up asking at 22
>29 now

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>lust after some actors/musicians because of their bodies and not their craft
it's not even because they're hot it's in all seriousness because they're famous

They're whores with standards. I can only connect with beautiful nerdy otaku girls.. and somehow those exact girls are at the top of the pyramid in our society so they're most likely taken by CHADs already.

>character comes out of the closet
>parents get pissed
Maybe I never treated you quite as good as I should have starts playing

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>Character starts watching Girlfriend ASMR "ironically"

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Based mom

>risking eternal damnation to be a christcuck instead of worshipping chad Spaghetti Monster

apparently their isn't a gay gene and it was environment all along

tell them it was their fault for messing you up then taunt them saying you probably wouldn't have kids anyway

then remind them all the years the sunk money into raising you

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I want to have sex with a stable person I can dedicate myself to and raise a family with.

They already assume it's their fault, my dad keeps saying "this family has failed, we should all kill ourselves"

>character is 25
>he never even lived his life to begin with
>his past was going to school, playing world of warcraft and poverty
>through out the years of being a neet he developed depression and talks with himself in the head on the regular because he knows he doesnt fit anywhere
>somehow the viewer is supposed to believe in a happy ending

i dont even

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Chad dad, make sure you seppeku

He's a self-proclaimed loser

based dad

>character is reminded of how his mom acts

>copy and paste this whole greentext into google
>get a weapon shop recomended

where can I give money to your incredibly based dad

WHEN YOU FIX THE DAMN DOOR

I would murder him desu

I don’t like paying extra for used goods

>Can't
>Not chooses not to
>Can't
Why CAN'T you get laid, not why you "choose" not to?

You know what you must do

you were never average user, neither was I

>character is 25 and has a 16 year old gf
>society deems him a pedo for liking good cunny

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>Girls in characters social group try to set him up with someone
>That someone is always 250lbs on her 5th year of college

be hideous as fuck

I don't leave my room that much.

>mom works with college students all the time
>tells me about hot students and shows pics of them
>"So when are you gonna set me up with one of them"
>"Lol that's funny"
Go fuck yourself mom.

Haha wouldn’t it be crazy if someone was in their fifth year of college haha

It's alright dude.
Were you retarded? Absolutely. That's some spergy shit right there.
But that doesn't mean you can't get there again.
Take the hits, take the lesson (if you mention an event to a girl it's always going to sound like an invite, just fucking invite her anyway etc), do better next time, and remember that you got to this point once, you can 100% do it again

>character is 25
>mommy wont honor previously earned good boy points

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What a bitch

>character is 37
>character dosent have parents anymore
never knew id miss them this much

>Character is 14
>Parents take him to a psychologist to try to get him diagnosed with autism.
>Character gets a girlfriend
>Parents cancel the appointments

What did they mean by this?

I'm sorry user, that sucks

A true American, god bless

>Teacher setting up her students to date her loser son
user that's not something that happens in real life. I can't think of any scenario where that isn't highly weird... though perhaps.. no, that doesn't happen.
If she went on a trip with her class AND invited you to go along, perhaps that'd be a "normal" scenario where you'd meet them.

lmao based mom telling user how it is

she's not a teacher, nice try though

Howd it happen user?
Dad got cancered a couple years back. Miss that fucker more every day

Based haha poster

>job centre
>centre

>character is 23
>still has a microdick

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OOF
Though if it's any consolation having a big dick but never being able to really use it is it's own kind of suffering

>character has no girls in social group
>character has no social group at all
haha wouldnt that be crazy

>Character is left out of his only friend's friend group
>he never gets invited anywhere
>he keeps asking his friend if he wants to hang out but gets brushed off

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I'm 7x6" and I'm not using it any time soon unless it's an escort so may as well have a micro dick.

how bad?

Thanks I feel much better.

I saw some escorts and they complained I was "too big" and made me go in slowly and even then didnt want me going balls deep. You hear girls talk about big dicks then when it comes down to it they cant handle it, genuinely makes me mad desu

You're probably 7"+. I'm a 6" with a nice girth and women always tell me I'm big but I'm just enough where I can go balls deep but not slam their cervixes like a whack-a-mole machine.

>character is 23
>everyone smiles when he tells them that he lives with his parents

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Yeah I am just over 7" with big girth too, have been with some who can take it all like it's nothing though so that's nice at least, even one girl who was just a bit over 5ft managed it

>characters mother is a cold hearted selfish bitch with daddy issues and gives birth at 40 years old after spending her younger days partying and travelling the world
>character gets phimosis at 5 years old and parents let shitskin doctor circumsize him instead of doing stretching excercises or just doing a partial cut
>characters parents barely let him out of the house with his friends growing up because control freak mother is scared of losing him to kidnappers even though we live in good neighbourhood
>characters Dad never tells him how to speak to women even though he can tell I struggle with women
>character starts having panic attack due to memories from botched circumcision that left him small stiching holes around his dick
>character has small dick
>character is 24 year old neet kissless virgin wth no firends
>parents wonder why he's miserable and anti social
>mother gets more bitchy and nasty each day
>character is starting to improve his life and get a job so he can ditch his parents for good

>even one girl who was just a bit over 5ft managed it
Smol girls are probably the biggest freaks honestly.

>min wage is 1400
>the cheapest apartment with roomates is 800
okay how are you supposed to live on your own if you're not smart enough to get a better paying job?

reminds me of an efukt vid, something about cervix stabbing. Basically shows the reality of the BBC meme.

That was a rollercoaster
Sounds like things are getting better, props for improving your situation instead of just bitching

I can't dance and honestly i dont see the point of it.

I mean stretched out size queens definitely exist, and often times they're hot, but yeah, BBC and similarly sized dicks is a fetish, not a rule

>well at least you have it easy at home user!
>works two retail jobs while commuting to community college and living with an alcoholic parent that calls them a fucking stupid loser every day

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>character is 22
>he has found the literal girl of his dreams
>she is better for him that he could've realistically ever imagined any girl being
>he thinks she likes him, as she clearly enjoys spending time with him
>"But what if she isn't actually attracted to me?" the character keeps thinking
>what if she's just being friendly?
>if he fails, how can he ever find a girl who could surpass her?

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Tfw no stretched out size queen gf

>my_gfXXXX.jpg
>literally has thousands of pic of some bug fetus

>character has max WIS

The gift and the curse.

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I've thought about suicide but then I realize I can still have kids and try to teach the things my parents didn't and not make the same mistakes. This is the only thing keeping me going, an opportunity to have my own son and not let him suffer like I did,

>character is 30
>still lives with his parents and sleeps in a single size bed

hehe I really hope people don't do this in real life ( ;_;)

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Okay pardon the boomerism
Shit or get off the pot
Ask her out. Waiting is torturing yourself
Don't even have to ask directly to be her BF. Can ask her to go see a movie, if she says yes. Say it's a date and walk away.
You'll know rather quickly what's up

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You're gonna have a bad time

H-haha, hits close to home...

...too close.

>tfw 27 and still living with my parents
It’s really shit, but we have to live with the fact that we haven’t dealt with this type of problem at this scale since the Great Depression

>it's an Ed Kemper re-run

>character is 22
>virgin
>family starts suspecting he's gay
>gets ""drunk"" one day and starts talking about how much you miss his """girlfriend""/how much he hates her because she was wrong about everything
I can't believe it worked, are the screenwriters geniuses?

hahah utter embarrassment

phew at least I'm not this guy, I have a double bed

This can't be true. Who would do that in middle of an act.

>character lives with his dad at 25
>friend is moving out and asks him if he wants to share a flat
>wants to do it just so hes not living with parents but also paranoid it will all go to shit and he could lose all his savings

Here's the fixed version

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If you have savings at 25 just get a deposit on a mortgage

Sounds like pure fucking jealousy.

>character’s two friends ask to split a flat
>one doesn’t have a job
>flat looks like shit
>has to pay half

I never have danced seriously. I hardly go ever to parties and even then leave after 30 minutes to 1 hour usually.

Should have mentioned it's for renting a flat not buying one

>how much you miss his """girlfriend"
lmao KEK

yeh thats why I said if you have savings dont rent

just go put a deposit on a mortgage

renting will permanently make you rent

24yo kissless hugless handholdless friendless flirtless conversationless textless partyless barless concertless danceless virgin reporting in

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>almost 33
>not conversationless or textless
FUCK
do I belong here?

same but 19 (20 in january)

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>buy house or flat
>rent room to friend
>he pays most of your mortgage

this fucking yikes you should share them bro

I should’ve said outside of work conversationless, I’ve had work related conversations with women. Never had a girls number though.

You’re still young buddy, you’ve got plenty of time.

Not sure why people even bother with parents. Leave them to rot as old people and die a lonely agonizing death.

you forgot white sperg

>only have surface level non personal conversations with girls at work
>all of them have boyfriends

>some acquaintance invites meet some of his friends
>"why don't you talk user?"
I don't know why but I have never been capable of talking in "groups" of people. I can only really talk when I'm alone with another person.

>character is 30
>still lives with his parents and sleeps in a single size bed
>has not had friends since 19 after drifting a part from highschool friends
>had a chance to social life again at around that time when hanging out with cousin who he was always tight with growing up and who was always his best friend and who finally was 18 and finished highschool
>even hooks main character up with one of his friends and finally gets a gf
>breaks up with gf on good terms and still talk and hang out
>never felt like he was their friends and was always just the cousin characters cousin.
>started worrying that his own cousin just tolerates him because he has to cos they're family
>aunty comes over and mentions a road trips her son is going on assuming main character was invited.
>he wasn't yet pretends like he knew about it anyways.
>come to realisation that it was ex gf who always invited him out even after breaking up.
>comes to realisation that it was probably out of pity and that she must have picked up her ex bf had no friends
>confirmed that the cousin probably felt like main character was never truly a part of the group or that he indeed probably just tolerated him out of obligation or just simply outgrew him
>noticed that slowly start drifting a part, probably out grew main character and texts and chats got fewer and fewer
>finally only see each other during Christmas or the occasional birthday
>character has sick feeling and delves deep into a hikikimori life

(act 1)

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