Can we have a comfy harry potter thread?

>Despite the specific rules of the triwizard tournament, they still let Harry compete because of some magical binding bullshit that’s never explained
>Deatheaters needed Harry to be transported via triwizard cup to reach Voldemort even though they can apparate
>the boot in the beginning of the movie was a portkey meaning that anything could be turned into a transport device thus indicating that Harry entering the tournament was pointless
>When Harry was trapped by a statue, Voldemort monologues instead of killing him
>Barry crouch jr. at the end tried to kill Harry meaning that the "only Voldemort can kill harry" rule is bullshit and that he could’ve killed him at any point during the movie
God, Goblet of Fire was dogshit. Can’t believe retards think Rowling is a good writer

"No"

Harry Potter’s gay as shit

That shit is only in the movies. They needed a Portkey because you cannot apparate or dissaparate within Hogwarts grounds, especially during the Tri-Wizard tournament or else all the contestants would just teleport their way to the end of the maze, you absolute BRAINLET

Lol samefag spammers quoting nobody like faggots lmao.

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What comfort are you hoping to discover within the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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>One day the lestrange guy decided to drug the nigger woman so he could cooooom in her
>he just does it while her son tries to stop it and other wizards are there, nobody is able to do anything
how do wizards know they're not constantly drugged by some other random wizard as it's so fucking simple?

Can you go back to tumblr, no caps tranny?

Buy tampons.

does anyone have that pasta about how cool it would be if harry just shot voldemort with weapons? thanks bros

>>Despite the specific rules of the triwizard tournament
The tournament when it was created allowed all ages in, the only thing stopping kids from entering was the age line, which didn't help because Crouch entered Harry
>>Deatheaters needed Harry to be transported via triwizard cup to reach Voldemort even though they can apparate
You can't apparate inside Hogwarts
>>the boot in the beginning of the movie was a portkey
I doubt you can portkey out of Hogwarts either
>>When Harry was trapped by a statue, Voldemort monologues instead of killing him
Killing a helpless kid doesn't exactly inspire confidence, he needed to prove to his death eaters that Harry wasn't more powerful than him, so of course he'd want a duel to prove it
>>Barry crouch jr. at the end tried to kill Harry meaning that the "only Voldemort can kill harry" rule is bullshit
Only Dumbledore knows the full prophecy at that point, and Crouch failed so maybe it's true

>Can’t believe retards think Rowling is a good writer
I can't believe that people can fail to understand a childrens' book, but there you go

I have it in image form

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I still have not heard one good explanation for why potions are needed in a universe where wizards have limitless spells at their disposal. There’s a spell for specifically killing someone and spells for basic shit like cleaning and fixing glasses. Hwoever for some bullshit reason, you need a potion to shapeshift

>Barry crouch jr. at the end tried to kill Harry meaning that the "only Voldemort can kill harry" rule is bullshit and that he could’ve killed him at any point during the movie
Well, they needed Harry to resurrect Voldemort

I've read better but at least it's an actual pasta that someone put some effort in.

thanks bro, now i can sleep.

Because Crouch Jr. miscalculated thinking he'd be rewarded for killing him instead of being killed himself for KSing Voldemort

Say you want to impersonate someone, you could transfigure all your features individually; an eye colour change spell, a hair colour change spell, cut your hair or grow it out, make your nose bigger or smaller, shrink or expand your teet, and maybe there's a spell that will alter your voice too I dunno, etc, etc, but all that would take ages and could be undone by a single 'finite', or you could drink a potion that makes you absolutely identical to the person and can't be countered, which would you chose?

>That shit is only in the movies. They needed a Portkey because you cannot apparate or dissaparate within Hogwarts grounds, especially during the Tri-Wizard tournament or else all the contestants would just teleport their way to the end of the maze, you absolute BRAINLET

why didn't he just turn harry potter's pillow, broom or cumsock into a portkey then

You can't portkey out of Hogwarts

Why was his scar in the shape of a lightning bolt? It could have been anything at all.

think carefully about what you just said and the plot of the whole movie/book

Because in addition to the inability to apparate into, or disapparate out of, Hogwarts and it's surrounding grounds, the same goes for Portkeys, where the Tournament made a special exception and had an exemption area in the maze, hence why it was then. Plus the ritual needed to be during the summer solstice or something. Maybe I'm not remembering properly.

The maze isn't in the school

It's not actually a lightning bolt, it's Sowilo, a rune

>Sun is the light of the world;
>I bow to the divine decree.

this is never stated and there are other examples of portkeys being used in hogwarts.

maze was grown inside the quidditch pitch. if the quidditch pitch counts as being outside the school literally just:

- steal harry's broom
- portkey it
- leave it in the quidditch pitch and tell harry where to find it

bingo bongo

Who says they don't? Hermoine had a whole house in her bag, when they were camping, who knows who she has in a gimp suit in there.

Some last a long fucking time. Like the Room Or Requirement, or whatever it was.

I wonder how many times that room was a fully stocked fap lair.

>this is never stated and there are other examples of portkeys being used in hogwarts.
Only ones created by Dumbledore, who is also not bound by the 'no apparating in Hogwarts' rule because he's the Headmaster.

Because Rowlings. The same author who made it a plot point that students COULD NOT perform magic outside of school, but there's Hermoine doing spells on the train when she meets Harry. And she'd just discovered she was a wizard, and she can perform a spell that's harder than the beginner shit they learn days later?
C'mon. Stop picking the books apart. They're kids books, written by a lazy amateur single mother. Of course they're flawed.

Because a swastika would have been problematic.

They made a special exception during the Third Task of the Tournament though, it's not the norm. And I'm pretty sure it's hard to override the magical properties of certain objects, it's why a Portkey is something like a boot or a trophy, something non magical so it's base traits don't mess with it

It's not outside of school, it's in the muggle world, and the train certainly isn't the muggle world, thus not a breach of the International Statue of Secrecy

A literal 17 year old girl makes one
It cannot be that hard

And I pointed that out, but it wasn't a big enough of a bag to fit a person inside, was it? Let alone the state of Nevada

"Statute" you illiterate monkey

So? They point out in the books that at the end of his fourth year in preparation for the tournament Harry is already more adept at magic than most average adults who let themselves get rusty after leaving Hogwarts

I want to fuck Ginny and Luna in the ass.

My t key is faulty, gimme a break.

based

Nobody cares.

No, children's book written by a single mother, who changed rules at a whim to recon her fuck ups.

Reminder the films are literally fucking refreshing and great and only the most butthurt autists here hate in them

yes, the first film is undisputable kid kino

The first three films are all kino film adaptations

Huh. Now that I think about it, was there ANY reason for entering harry into the tournament? If the goal was just to keep him alive until Voldemorts ritual was ready then trick him into touching a portkey, then you could have used literally any other object, why bother with rigging the tourament?

Because Rowlings didn't know how to build suspense with Voldemort not actively trying to get Harry. He had control of Barty Crouch, to put Harry's name in the Goblet, but couldn't order him to sneak into the tower and murder Harry in his sleep? Oh, wait, this is the same author who had the evil bad guy trying to kill Harry with Quidditch.
It's kid's books. Don't examine them too closely, and enjoy the ride.

I did enjoy the ride. Doesn't mean I can't also look back and laugh at the stupid parts.