We'll take some Acid Pops, Bat's Blood Soup, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, blood-flavoured lollipops...

Wizards think dead muggles are good, especially back in the day

>Yes, yes, well done Harry. However,

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The Nazis had guns and tanks and shit. Wizards are absolute bitches next to any muggle with some decent firepower

>Be wizard
>Cant duplicate wizard money because (((goblin))) tricks
>Not allowed to harm muggles
>Dupilcate muggle money
>And again
>And again
>...
>And again
>Distribute it by using magic
>Muggle economy collapses due to hyperinflation
>Wars break out
>Muggles can eat my ass

Why don't the wizards prevent and stop school shootings?

Shut the fuck up retard. Don't turn the thread into a political discussion

This. In more modern times they tend to think of normal humans like you would consider a weird animal or something. They don't go out of their way to harm them, but most don't really give that much of a shit if a few get blown up or something.

>Don't reference politics in a Yea Forums thread
Do you even know where you are?

">Ron voted for Trump and Hermione voted for Hillary, which ultimately led to their divorce. Hermione tooks the kids."
Was this really necessary to put in the last book, Rowling?

Didn't he say "We'll take a lot" though??
So that covers some of that stuff
Retard Op

>we'll shit on the floor and magic the poop away Ron

>That one white American exchange kid that never talks to anyone and spends his time in the forbidden areas of the library

it was a power play

not on

They're British you retard.

Why don’t the wizards just cast spells that make them all 7’0 tall 10/10s with 12x12 inch dongs?

No matter how many different candies he tries, in the end not even the sugary sweetness of Wizochoc will mask the bitter aftertaste left by one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Rowling got so caught up in Trump hysteria she forgot that detail

>no image
cringe

>acid pops literally burn through flesh
>this incredibly dangerous product is sold to young children
>there's no indication or warning on these acid pops meaning people regularly "prank" each other by giving their family and friends candy which immediately boils through their flesh and muscle inflicitng incredible pain
>absolutely no ons thinks this is cruel or worthy of banning

I guess we shouldn't expect common sense or responsibility from a society of people who thought it was perfectly acceptable to hike up your robes and squat and shit wherever they were standing because they could just vanish their steamy foul smelling logs away

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>no image
You failed

hiromoot needs to fix this shit where range ips can't upload images

Fucking mind boggling that there are still a few stragglers like you calling it "hysteria" after all the awful shit he's done these last three years. How do you not realize that you're wrong and that this is not going away?

>after all the awful shit he's done these last three years
Such as?

user are you actually retarded or did you honestly think I didn't know that because I don't know which is worse

The entire world hates you.

>criticizing wizards for this when you'd do the exact same thing if you could

Why?

What is this a reference to?

>new fantastic beasts movie reveals that Grindelwald straight up predicted WW2
so basically he did nothing wrong
as far as he knew Muggles were going to fuck up the whole world if wizards didn't claim rulership of the planet

>its not hysteria
>becomes hysterical at the mention of him

calm down lady

what was voldemort's endgame? Wizards seem to make up a pitiful percentage of the population and ICBMS are a way bigger problem than ABRA CADAVER

I don't think he wanted to rule over muggles so much as he just wanted to cleanse the wizarding world of half-bloods and mudbloods

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Would have unironically been a better and more poetic death than the one he got

>after all the awful shit he's done these last three years.
Like what? Seriously, the only thing I've ever seen is retards unironically comparing the Illegal immigrant facilities to goddamn concentration camps, and other such overblown nonsense.

>How do you not realize that you're wrong and that this is not going away?
What the hysteria?
As long as the MSM keeps feeding into the "TRUMP IS A MADMAN, WE CAN'T LET HIM HAVE NUCLEAR CODES" mentality, it probably will never abate.
Then again, it's highly entertaining to see the American left lose there minds every time he makes a tweet.

that'd be like, at least ten times too intelligent for the harry potter franchise

I mean, there must be spells that can reduce body fat since they all seem to subsist on a diet of cake, candy and sugar water.

The way he died in the book was much better than in the movie, the movie had to make it this big cinematic explosion because movie watchers are fucking retards.

Actually I COULD hide acid in peoples food if I wanted. But I don't want to because I'm not an asshole.

>only has his pet snake left as far as horcruxes go
>just forgets about it and lets it wander around in the battle
>I'm sure it will be fine
I mean yeah it's a big snake but it's not fucking immortal
Just put the snake somewhere away from the battle

>ICBMS
>against an insurgent population living in your own capitals
Nigga what.

harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Goldstein_family

I mean the shitting on the floor thing. Think about how much more convenient that is than having to find a bathroom.

>the movie had to make it this big cinematic explosion because movie watchers are fucking retards.
No it was 100% because the last two movies were released during the 3D craze after Avatar. Literally the only effect I even remember as being 3D was that stupid death, because they clearly spent so much time on it knowing it'd be the finale of their 3D work.

Didn't he put Nagini in some sort of protective bubble before walking off and then someone set it free?

You're literally retarded. One wizard could potentially murder every single world leader in a matter of days. Just apparate beside any of them and murder them in their sleep then disapparate.

>ICBMS are a way bigger problem than ABRA CADAVER
Yeah but they're not a bigger deal than teleportaion, mind control, invisibility, truth potions, shapeshifting, memory alteration, etc, all of which can only be countered with magic (which we would have none of)

Retards always say "duhhh guns r way faster than wandz and bombs make biggur exploshunz so we culd beet them ez", but the problem is wizards have absolutely no reason to ever engage in fair, open battle with muggles. Their specialty would be subterfuge and they're utterly invincible on that front.

I honestly can't remember. I recall him sensing one of his other horcruxes being destroyed at which point he says "Come Nagini, I need to keep you safe"
I think that's when he goes to murder Snape

I dunno, it's been a while since I watched it

He believes Harry to be dead. So no more threat. And in the book Neville immediately chops Nagini in two when the hat gives him the sword and Harry decides to move.

>in the book Neville immediately chops Nagini in two when the hat gives him the sword and Harry decides to move
damn that would have been a lot better
having Ron and Hermione have a little fight against the snake was dumb

Everything the movies changed was dumb.

Wait, Neville doesn't kill the snake like that in the movie? That's all I remember. Also, at that point Voldemort obviously thought Nagini was safe because he cast a spell that should have made it impossible for any of the students to even move, if it wasn't for Harry's death shielding them. So it definitely makes sense that he thought it safe, since even if any of the students did have something that could destroy a horcrux they still shouldn't have been able to move against him.

they also deleted a scene where draco tosses harry his wand after harry stopped pretending to be dead

He cuts Nagini's head off, but only after Ron and Hermione have a standoff with it
It's about to kill Ron but Neville jumps in and hacks its head off

>in the movie Draco just quietly runs away with his parents
lol

Because Rowling is retarded hack.
Because Rowling is retarded hack.
Because Rowling is retarded hack.
Because Rowling is retarded hack.
Because Rowling is retarded hack.

Sadly the books still have some stupid things that were still stupid in the books, like the entirety of Slytherin refusing to participate in the final battle.

Plenty of them participated though.

On Voldemorts side.

Reminder that Muggles won.

>Which wizards voted for Trump?

all of them

I didn't know all wizards were retards.

In not sure. Could you maybe find the clip on YouTube?

A truly exhaustive list, which is truly fitting for one of the dullest franchise in the history of dull movie franchises.
Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

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these are the basement dwellers giving you life advice

You would literally be able to erase the shit from existence with magic. What is wrong with shitting on the floor in this situation? I'd love to hear an explanation for this.

THAT'S MY SON! THAT'S MY BOY!

Squatting would in fact be healthier than straining on a toilet, but I'd still have a toilet room designed to contain any fecal matter in case of spell mishaps.

Why didn't they use guns or other modern weapons?

Wands are quite literally guns that are shaped like sticks. What is the purpose of a gun when the Killing Curse is so efficient?

The ability to fire 30 killing curses in a few seconds from hundreds of yards away?

Yeah but it can be used as a secret weapon as no one would expect you to carry one

The answer is that Rowling doesn't like guns so she just ignored their existence

He tried but got declared a terrorist by the wizards because they don't give a fuck about the muggles and would rather keep their existence a secret
In their eyes secrecy>millions of muggle lives
So Grindy was a bad dude apparently

Retard

Why don't you wait for Fantastic Beasts 3 and find out goyim?

UUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH

Killing curses can be countered and the Ministry will know your location. Wizards can't counter a bullet travelling faster than sound with no cast time

Allegedly they were having their own world war with nazi wizards fighting the other wizards
So they checkmated each other while the real ww2 was happening

I unironically enjoyed FB2 and am looking forward to seeing what they do with FB3. It was nice to see a blockbuster that expects you to pay attention and doesn't just spoonfeed you everything in overly simplistic dialogue. That scene in the catacomb was intense. You had to have an absolutely massive brain to follow what they were talking about.

They did, behind closed doors. They just don't want muggles watching.

You know Snape had a lock of hair from Harry's mother, and had a special witch whore in Diagon Alley who didn't mind taking polyjuice, after he hexs his cock to the size of a standard Quidditch broom.

based DEH poster

How did they figure out the snake was a horcrux? Oh, wait, it was Rowlings, never mind.

>mfw I just realized Diagon Alley means diagonally

Nah. They apparate it to India. Nobody can tell the difference between local poo poo, and wizard poo.

the ministry CAN know your location but that magic was only turned on in the 7th book, they usually leave the adult wizards to their own discretions without monitoring

Uses of the three Unforgivable Curses are always monitored because they're against the law to use.

>How did they figure out the snake was a horcrux?
I honestly don't know

why didn't they get moody in hogwarts for using them on school grounds?
there's a lot of instances of 2 of the 3 being used willy-nilly. as soon as they knew an avada kedavra was used why didn't they jump over to the Potter's house? it got blowed up in the rebound and Harry was alone for a couple hours before someone got him

More Rowlings hackery. She set several scenes in Hogwarts with literal bathrooms, and stalls - like when Hermoine takes polyjuice and turns into cat, she goes into a toilet stall, to drink it.
"“urky brown.
“Hang on,” said Harry as Ron and Hermione reached for their glasses. “We’d better not all drink them in here. … Once we turn into Crabbe and Goyle we won’t fit. And Millicent Bulstrode’s no pixie.”
“Good thinking,” said Ron, unlocking the door. “We’ll take separate stalls.”
Careful not to spill a drop of his Polyjuice Potion, Harry slipped into the middle stall.”

Later, after the books were done, she reeeeeeed about the "They just shit their pants and wanded it away" - she couldn't even remember wizarding toilets existed in the books she allegedly wrote.

Ron Raper

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You're just looking for an excuse to get angry at her, she specifically said that Hogwarts didn't have bathrooms until the 1800s and was merely explaining what wizards used to do.

the mudbloods who went to the school still used toilets because they weren't raised to designated shitting spell

Oh, look, more reeeeeeeeee.

And the fuckhuge plumbing system that allowed a gigantic snake to travel freely?
What was that about since bit needed to exist since the medieval period
And vanishing spells are taught to fifth years, at least that happened in the books, did kids shit and ask an older student to vanish it?
Rowling is fucking retarded at times

The dumbest thing Rowling wrote was the rules of Quidditch
game don't make no goddamn sense

why did I click on this picture of a dolly to see if it had a willy

Would rather have a Fizzy Lifting Drink 2bh

DEH

Well duh
What's stopping a full team to just look for the snitch?
Oh no, they're scoring 10 points while we get 150
It's bullshit
The only part that makes sense is the chasers and keeper part

Why would they stop Hitler ? They hate muggles.

Simmer down, incel.

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Yeah and on top of that it's not against the rules to just straight up assault another player, so realistically you'd just gang up on the other team's seeker and make it impossible for him to move
It would just devolve into people smacking the shit out of eachother and knocking eachother off their brooms so they can fall 100 feet onto the hard ground and only suffer minor injuries

The beaters are there for that exact reason, slamming high speed balls into other players
You'd think a few heads would get cracked every once in a while
Also Harry's broom gets cursed in HP1 and a bludger gets sabotaged in HP2
And was it ever stated that you can't use a wand during play?
If you can just use magic to mess with everyone

After they steal the Hufflepuff cup from Gringotts he sees into voldemort's mind because hes having a tantrum. And Voldemort lists off all the horcruxes in his head which harry is able to see/hear

Damn, how is exactly one fourth of all wizard children so unbelievably based?

>Couldn't he have just said a couple words to refer to all of the candy collectively
I lol'd way too hard.

>fighting for the side that lost
>based
Gee I sure wonder what other historical losers you also consider to be based.

>thinks basery is about winning or losing
Heh, you'll never make it

Well, I'm pretty sure using magic to mess with a player's broom is against the rules
but, in HP1 when it happened everybody just kind of stood around like dumbasses watching it happen so I'm not sure how they'd even enforce such a rule
Nobody stopped the game or called a time out or anything
>Harry's broom's been hexed!
>.....well, hang in there harry!

>Wizards unironically keeping Africa & South America in the dark ages and destroying their economy to protect their greatest cities

There i fixed it

The wizards dropped the bomb.

The little booklet she published said a wizard can have a wand with him but cannot use it in play

HARRYDIDYOUPUTYOURNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIYAH

Hitler would have rounded up and killed wizards along with Jews and homosexuals. You don't see gays from around the world undertaking covert operations to stop Hitler.

The alternative theory is that Hitler was a dark wizard himself. They tried to stop him but he was too powerful. Not until the Soviet wizards were close enough to cast an Imperius curse on him.

Hard to round up a group of people who can teleport at will

Cringe

Samuel L. Jackson pulled it off.

A sniper rifle is the bane of all wizards. Too distant to detect, too quick to react to one fired. They would need a constant forcefield.

Yeah but you also have to, you know, know how to shoot one. You can't just pull out a sniper rifle and immediately be a master.

Same with magic

They needed literally ONE sniper from the British army to take out Voldemort in his current body. His head would've popped like a cherry.

They could've teleported one in and paid him in gold to shoot the evil snake monster from Hogwarts. It would be a great diversion too; lowering the magic barrier suddenly would cause them to think "this is a tra--" then his head is mush.

OK I'm confused here though
Voldemort can't be killed until all the horcruxes are destroyed right?
So what happens when a sniper shoots him in the head? Does the bullet just bounce off of him or something?

Don't even actually have to pay him
Once the job is done just remove his memories

Probaly dies. But ressurect from a hocrux nearby probaly

>Rowling is retarded hack.
unironically this, even dubs confim
sup, Joanne

>make horcrux
>seal it in an impervious metal box and bury it 10 feet underground in some remote unremarkable area
why not just do that

He doesn't immediately resurrect from the Horcrux. He died when he tried to kill Harry at Godric's Hollow but the Horcruxes allow him to resurrect infinitely. So sniping him would be pointless because he would just resurrect.

It's a good thing Voldemort wasn't smart enough to put some of them on other continents

the whole horcruxes shit didn't make any sense since Voldemort never died, he just lost all his powers and his body became weak when he got fucked by Lily's firewall update
but Rowling had to come up with some shit because Voldemort was way too overpowered for Harry and Dumbledore died due to AIDS

The grand wizards

Is the 2nd Fantastic Beasts any good? Bought the first one on 4k last week and its surprisingly comfy.

Hogwarts is shielded, this is established in the book

I liked it, and I liked the first one too, but a lot of people seemed to not care for it as much.
It's a bit of a mess, but give it a watch anyway.

>sniping him would be pointless because he would just resurrect.
Harry was 15 months old when Volde died, he only reappeared again when Harry was 16 y.o and you wanna tell me its not worth it?

Yeah this
It'd give them at least a full decade to find the horcruxes at their leisure

His body can be destroyed though. And he's not much use without a head, even if the Snake is carrying his soul.

now you are thinking like a (((Goblin)))

Y'know, the books implied that Grindelwald was behind Hitler, but you just know that Rowling's going to ignore that completely for her new movie series.

It's not really about "fantastic beasts" which pissed some people off, but I thought it was cool to see a Harry Potter-related story about actual adult characters.

I did like that aspect of fantastic beasts. None of these people were beginner wizards. They weren't just winging it the whole movie like Harry did.

Wrong. He says, we take the fuckin lot m8.
youtube.com/watch?v=SdNhWmUMqs0

>the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
This is normal phrasing for brits.
And, while im not praising her writing, nor poopooing kids books: you have to remember that PS was written when she had no writing experience and was for young kids.

You should like Crimes of Grindelwald then, since it's definitely got more of that adult wizard action going on
Nothing but the top level motherfuckers

Have you seriously never seen those posts before? It's spammed so hard that most people just ignore it at this point. Doesn't even get a wry chuckle.

It was a different time

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>facebook boomer memes
Yep, it's a /pol/tard. Get the fuck out.

heh

>he doesn't know
You really think nazis just *failed* to invade russia?

20 years ago, when I actually read shit on ff.net, the HP section had by far the most entries. Likely 95% female writers.
Why did this shit induce so many to try their hands at writing the very worst travesties of AU fanfic and other weird shit like that pic?
I don't recall any other series, story or whatever having as many entries. I'm sure the ratio still stands today or has only gotten worse.

How the fuck does that have neatly 600 "reviews"?
>2010
Providing it wasn't all just an elaborate troll, was this person the prototypical blue haired SJW?

>calling some kind of weird image macro with an iphone filename a "meme"
you're why we call posters cancer
it spreads from places it shouldn't, you're not natural, get the fuck out, i know Yea Forums is dead but you still have to know how the FUCK you're not welcome and never were

Why doesn’t Harry not simply use magic to make himself the largest wizard and the other wizards?

I'm sorry, what?

If he made the other wizards as large as him he'd be no longer large at all! Or do you think Potter was a commie wanting everybody to be of equal height?

I'd watch that movie

why didn't voldy drop a horcrux in the mariana trench? or smuggle one into the space craft that has left the solar system by now

I have literally never been on the internet

in the order of phoenix, harry has a dream where he connects to nagini, when she attack Ron's father in the department of magic.

because I assume he needs a horcrux to reanimate himself, or at least its one way to return, so if he couldn't get at any he might stay a wisp forever.

Why did Harry flex on Ron like that with all the money he's got? No wonder Ron gets so pissed off later on.

plebs only respond to wealth now that deference is dead.

why didn't rowling as in bowling not simply use magic to write a better story?

>most important part of the game is two dudes who play a completely different game from the rest of their teams, playing with a ball that the spectators cannot even see because it's so small on purpose
>game can go on for days on end without breaks because reasons
>game isn't even paused when one team is attacked by spectators or dementors. what are rules lol just keep on entertaining the spectators.
>each team has a pair of dudes whose job is to break the bones of the opponent team instead of actually trying to score goals

>playing with a ball that the spectators cannot even see
haha, I'd never even thought of that

lol

he didn't need a horcrux in GoF. He needed the soup, the bone of the father, the blood of the enemy, and the hand of the servant.

>did kids shit and ask an older student to vanish it?
What did you think the custom of assigning prefects to squads of kids were for?

>absent the image featuring Clifford the Big Red Dog for President
class, this user failed

Kek i thought that was maisies jaw.

As if normal british food were better than that

>t.

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