Post occasions wherein which you assumed the role of the japer. I'll start
>car requires premium unleaded
>fill her up with diesel
WHAT I'VE DONE
Post occasions wherein which you assumed the role of the japer. I'll start
Aiden Roberts
Lucas Jackson
>Be me
>Father is scolding me because of my school grades
>Under my breath say "fuck you..."
>"What's that?" he says
>"Nothing" i answer
>He'll never know
BECAUSE YOUR LOVE, HAS PASSED ME BY
Levi Harris
You fucked up your own car.
Good fucking job.
Jackson Anderson
MORTY! I'VE FILLED HER WITH DIESEL!
Christopher Brown
>help old lady carry her groceries up the stairs
>she thanks me
>reply "my pleasure"
>in truth, it was not pleasureable at all
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR COTTON-EYE JOE
Gabriel Diaz
>beats and rape my sister
>threat her that if she said what happened to anyone, I would kill her
>haven't talk to her in 15 years
I SEE IT ALL I SEE IT ALL I SEE IT ALL I SEE IT ALL
Cooper Roberts
>Sat on bus, old lady asks for my seat
>I say sure and stand up
>sit back down anyway
BREAKDOWN
BREAKDOWN
Ethan Wood
>holding door open on campus
> guys walks through and says "you're welcome"
>he really wasn't welcome
YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM
Joseph King
>come into japer thread
>look at all the song lyrics
>google them and listen
>dont contribute anything to japing :^)
Jeremiah Flores
>be me
>be 12
>watching tv in my mom's room
>flipping through movie channels for softcore porn
>volume's at 2
>finger is on the "prev channel" and set to flip back to comedy central if the door opens
>Change it back to CC before going to bed
>next day stepdad comes up to me. "I know what you were doing"
>Oh shit.
>"Comedy central? Volume at 2?"
>I forgot to change to the volume back!
>"You were watching the man show!"
>YES! I'm sorry.
My fiendish scheme fooled him good.
Owen King
>Goes to take a shit
>rubs ass all over stall wall
Juan Gutierrez
>the man show
wtf is this boomer shit?
Luke Thompson
>post a green text story
end it without an arrow
JINXED
Austin Morris
Robert Nguyen
I do that too, it's really fun and i usually have a hard time opening up to new music!
Colton Evans
The virgin joke
The intellectual jape
Grayson Miller
>go to McDonald’s
>ask for fries with no salt
WITH YOU FEET IN THE AIR AND YOUR HEAD ON THE GROUND
Connor Green
>browsing Yea Forums
>see argument between a few people. Reply to the most recent comment "FUCK YOU FAGGOT! You're just a retarded fucking cunt who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about."
>argument is immediately derailed.
>no one believes the response wasn't one dude in the convo
>everyone just calls him mad and leaves
I just want to make them laugh.
Camden Martinez
>at mcdicks
>ask for water cup
>fill it up with root beer
AS FAR AS I COULD TELL THERES NOTHING MORE I NEED
Thomas Allen
>at Starbucks
>order a black coffee
>put a packet of sugar in it when the barista isn’t looking
ALL I HAVE ARE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Christopher Perez
>go to local burger joint
>they have one of those impossible beyond burgers
>not vegetarian but curious
>order one add bacon
The horror on their faces!
Jayden Brown
yea i just listen to same stuff on repeat 100x over. u should try online radio stations like iheart80s and iheart90s. it opens me up to new music
Jackson Long
>date a girl for several years
>ask the question
>I say jk
I'M ONLY GONNA BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK YOUR HEART
Elijah Howard
>see someone you know, post about gay rights on instagram
>report picture
KYLIE GIVE ME JUST A CHANCE LETS GO OUT AND DANCE
John Garcia
>police shows up at my door
>"user, we've been getting reports of high pitched screams from your house"
>Ah, I have some guinea pigs in the basement, please, come in"
>Yes, right down there, I'll be right behind you.
>"OMG ITS FULL OF DEAD -"
>bashes him over the head with a bat
>watches body tumble down stairs
>*screams in a high pitched voice*
>WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS...
Cameron Myers
>bet my friend $20 I could shag the fat girl at a party
>get her drunk and bring her to the loo
>sit down on the potty and take a poo as she blows me
>forgot to lock door, someone walks in
>it’s friend
>exchange looks
Pic Related
D A M A G E D
Easton Barnes
based, have similiar story but i laid on the remote in my sleep and it was on the porn channel when i woke up
Jacob Fisher
>be me
>watch YouTube videos without turning on Adblock
I JUST WANNA SHINE LIKE THE SUN WHEN IT COMES UP
Angel Jenkins
>post on this thread without a story
MEMORIES BROKEN, THE TRUTH GOES UNSPOKEN, I'VE EVEN FORGOTTEN MY NAAAA-A-A-A-A-ME!!!
John Morris
Do you wanna know why I stopped taking to my dad...?
NO WAIT-! It will be totally interesting and stuff, I swear.
You see...
My father was a white male...
and...
and hetero... (yeah, that's it...)
And, uh, everyday he told me to smile.
Just... smile.
Then one day I was like, "I'M NOT TAKING YOU'RE SHIT ANYMORE, DAD!"
"AND I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE VISITATION WITH YOU IN YOUR SHITTY LESS-THAN $1000 A MONTH CONDO ANYMORE!"
And, and that's totally why I pick, like, such volatile roles, you know.
And that's a good thing.
Leo Collins
>replies to your post without thinking of a funny retort or image
BABY ARE YOU DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN
Lucas Murphy
Angel Watson
>job requires previous experience (which I don't have)
>apply for it anyway
Adrian Foster
>be me
>arguing with user on Yea Forums
>he tells me to "have sex"
>I don't
>I never will
Tyler Fisher
>see qt girl in thread
>ask who she is because i dont talk to anyone outside my (2-3) friend group often and want to project idealisitic characterisation onto someone that i can picture holding hands with
I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EYEEEEEEEEEEES
Josiah Gomez
>bottle says shake well
>don't
ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS
Aiden Carter
>Watching jerk off instructions video
>She tells me to stop
>I keep jerking off
Elijah Mitchell
the japer lol. this board rules
Jaxon Green
>the japer lol. this board rules
Justin Perez
not ironic enough for you huh
Nathan Allen
Robert Morgan
>be straight
>fap to trap porn
Levi Hall
Me too, lol we are so hilarious.
Jonathan Williams
>Someone sneezes
>Say "Bless you"
>I'm actually agnostic
ASTRONOMY
A STAR
David Lopez
me too user, do you think if we die we will get a chance to accept the higher power and get into whatever comfy afterlife there is? surely, right? i shouldnt be punished for having disbelief when there is no proof
Caleb Evans
My working theory is I'm a good person so if there is an afterlife I'd have a reasonable chance of it since I help people a lot and rarely even shitpost much to make people potentially feel bad online. If there's no afterlife then I won't care since I won't exist, but I will have lived in a way that I'd want people around me to act. If there is an afterlife then I've acquitted myself well.
Nicholas Lee
well im shitposting rn, uh oh...
srsly tho yeah im p good and act to my best irl and do unto others as they would unto me unless they've proven themselves unworthy etc so i hope for a nice afterlife but who knows if theres some unwritten rule if u break u get btfoed i guess we'll only know on the other side, see you there agnobro
Camden Fisher
>be me
>alone in a room
>look around
>no one here
>look outside my windows
>it's the dead of night, no one is on the street outside
>look all around my apartment, under the bed, in the closets, every corner
>no one
>unplug all electronics in the house
>shut myself in the bathroom
>turn on the shower full blast loudly
>look around again and listen to make sure no one seems to be up in neighboring apartments
>flush toilet
>as toilet is flushing, quietly whisper the "n" word
>look all around again
>listen
>no one around, no oneheard
>no one possibly could have heard
>begin to snicker uncontrollably
>laugh outright, then stop myself, shhhhh
>go back to watching The Jester camrip
This is what they all asked for, all the society that mistreated me, chaos.
Landon Turner
>be me at a restaurant
>napkin dispenser at the table
>I take two napkins when I only truly needed one
Somebody HAS to stop me
Cameron Cruz
based /mu poster