Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, however

Ravenclaw is the best house

SIX MILLION POINTS TO SLYTHERIN

Intro:
>NEVEL: What? You wanna rob the Hogwarts train, are you crazy?
>B.E.M: Yes, yes, motherfucker, motherfuckin right, nigga yes
>NEVEL: What?! We're gonna get expell-
>B.E.M: Nigga it's eighty-seven nigga, is you dead broke?
>NEVEL: Yes, but, but...
>B.E.M.: Motherfucker is you broke motherfucker? We need to get some motherfuckin paper nigga
>NEVEL: Yes but it's the Hogwarts train, nobody's ever robbed-
>B.E.M: Just listen man, your mother giving you money nigga? My moms don't give me shit nigga, it's time to get paid nigga. Is you wit me? *draws wand* Motherfuck is you wit me?
>NEVEL: Yeah I guess...
>B.E.M: Alright then nigga let's make it happen then!

first verse:
>IT WAS ALL A MEME
>I used to read quibbler magazine
>fred, george and me up in the quidditch team
>moving pictures on my wall
>seems like everyday, snake attack, sleeping in the great hall
>way back, when I had the red and gold robe and a hat
>with a snitch to catch
>remember second year, the flying car
>whoever thought that two kids would take it that far
>now I'm in the wand-light, that lumos tight
>time to be afraid, making potion with some nightshade
>born wizzer, opposite of a squibba
>bertie bott's every flavour beans for dinner
>peace to weasleys, seamus, hermoine
>still wearing specs, still fucking ginny
>still winning cups like you thought I would
>same wand, phoenix feather holly wood
>it's all good

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Where's Hufflepuff?

Slytherin colors are just kekistan colors

right here, she's from the American chapter

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Scourgify

And if you don't know, now you know Slyther~~~~

When I die, fuck it
I wanna go to Azkaban

nah. I never really got how a school could have a house so universally hated by everyone else. Essentially if you got slytherin you'r kind of fucked aren't you. the books have as many holes as swiss fucking cheese

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so freckles and red hair makes you dumb?

The Irish are subhuman dumb and non white so I'd say so mate.

>non-white

lol

What's a Hufflepuff?

Whiteness is only on the inside. This is why Russians and Celts are not white.

>One point for every Jew killed in the Holocaust for Gryffindor! ZERO POINTS

>Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, however... I'M GAY! THAT'S RIGHT, I SUCKED GRINDELWALD'S COCK! I LOVE SUCKING DICK AND GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS BY GIANT DICKS

i always thought harry would become an animagus in 1 of the books

Jesus Christ, thank you user

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>ONE POINT TO SLYTHERIN FOR EACH JEW KILLED IN THE HOLOCAUST
>Draco and the kids start cheering
>Gandalf looks at the screen
>ZERO POINTS!

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Holy shit I keked

For me, it's Ravenclaw.

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That really fucking got me, holy shit user.
My chest hurts now. Fuck me that was good.

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Yes goy

WHAT'S WRONG, YOU GONNA CRY AND GO RUNNING TO WIPE YOUR TEARS ON DADDY'S BALLSACK YOU FUCKING WORTHLESS CUMSTAIN? OH AND YOUR MOTHER WAS KNOWN HERE AS THE "WHORE OF HOGWARTS", SHIT EVEN SNAPE HERE LOST HIS VIRGINITY TO HER. SURE IT WAS HIS ASS AND IT WAS HER STRAP ON BUT HE WAS SAVING HIS COCK FOR LILY -- HOW'D THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU SNAPE YOU FUCKING LOSERS OH AND I KNOW YOU FUCKED HER CORPSED AFTER THE V-MAN KILLED HER SKANK ASS, FUCKING NECROPHILE DOUCHEBAG, ANYWAY DRACO IS A FUCKING HOMO AND I WIPE MY ASS WITH YOUR FAMILY'S NAME YOU PIECE OF SHIT CUNT FUCKFACE.
>takes massive swig from hipflask
NOW WHICH ONE OF YOU PRETEEN SLAGS WANTS TO SUCK AND FUCK MY WAND?!?!!?FACT!!!!

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>dumbledore said calmly

>!?FACT!!!!
put on your trip creepy thin man

Holy shit lmao.

>mfw in the last movie the catlady says to imprison all the slytherins in the dungeons just because of their race i mean what house a hat put them in, and the rest of the students in the school all cheer

Snape is literally an incel.
>grow up with cute oneitis
>get separated by a sorting hat
>she falls for a chad
>he can't get over her

Gryffindor is for Chads. Ravenclaw gang rise up

>You know, Harry, with great magical prowess comes great responsibility. Salazar Slytherin called it "Sorcerer's Burden." Myself, I just call it as I see it: the responsibility of the wizard to discipline the muggle.
>Sirius looks seriously at the camera.
>"The squibs, the goblins, the elves...It's our responsibility to civilize them. And if we can't? Then they shall dangle from the Whomping Willow. The Day of the Rope is near, Harry. We'll have every goblin in this country dead or in Azkawitz in 10 years, and may God have me killed by tripping and falling behind a mirror this very night if I'm wrong. God bless the UK Independence Party."

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>We'll have every goblin in this country dead or in Azkawitz in 10 years
So close, that should have been Azkaban

Auschwitz you fucktard

this, it's Auschwitz not Azkawitz anyway

change god to merlin

>change god to merlin

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>he doesn't know

Whoooooooo cares

Pretty sure gingers are the superior race. Higher paint tolerance, acute temperature sensitivity, immunity to prostate cancer, harder to put to sleep with chemicals, better muscle fibers. Their only weakness is an aversion to Sunlight, which is a nonentity considering successful people spend most of their time in-doors.

Yeah. My favorite color is green and their common room goes under the lake and you can see the creatures. It was always my favorite besides gryffindor desu

The book's POV is Harry's POV, thus skewed. Yeah he hates Slytherin, doesn't mean everyone does

True. And you could do it like in the porno without having to prepare for fudgepacking. Just prestidigitate your ass clean and all lubed up.

>Pretty sure gingers are the superior race.
>Higher paint tolerance
>better muscle fibers.

the superior construction workers maybe

>book's POV is Harry's POV
>HP has a 1st person narrator

ok

>Higher paint tolerance
Im sorry, but huffing isnt part of my criteria for a superior race. Maybe as an adaption for being a drug riddled hobo.

I’m glad I don’t know what half these words mean

Accio santorum.

Rawdogging without poop on your peepeeand without butt tearing.

ive barely watched harry potter, can someone redpill me on the houses and the general school environment? also emma watson is hawt

Google is your friend

It's basically an upper class British boarding school with magic and some poor people. As can be expected from a kids series, it's mostly stuff kids would find interesting, for example they don't learn any regular school shit like math or reading.

I read all the books twice over when I was a teenager

kek

based
nigger races like bl*ndes belong in the cotton fields

can you be my friend?

Slytherin cleaned up its act after Voldemort's final fall. Ambition is their main trait, nothing wrong with that. Many good wizards came from Slytherin. Rowling came to regret painting it like black and white in the first book.

Slytherin had Snape and Slughorn, both of whom made substantial contributions in the fight against Voldemort.

10 points to Neville Longbottom for discovering how to "polish his wand".

Slytherin is for ambitious people. Also, wizard racists. But ambition is their main trait, so many from Slytherin end up in wizard politics.

Gryffindors are "brave" aka hollier than thou shits. They are put on a pedestal and overrated because it's the house of Harry Potter. Mortal enemies of Slytherin.

Ravenclaw is the academic house. The house for wizard nerds and it should be winning the house cup every year, but they don't.

Hufflepuff is just chill. For the artsy ones. Participation trophy. They want everyone to just get along, except Slytherin. Green guys bad.

>Slytherin had Snape and Slughorn, both of whom made substantial contributions in the fight against Voldemort.
Only later on, after they had already helped Voldemort

gryffindor: Yea Forums
slytherin: /pol/
ravenclaw: /fit/
hufflepuff: /r9k/
hagrid's shack: the jannies

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NOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE

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Does Hagrid really do it for free? I doubt Dumbledore would do him like that, plus gambled for the Dragon’s egg so he must be getting money from somewhere.

Hagrid is based. Jannies are more like that corridor watched with a cat: no magick skills( not actually moderating the site), everyone hates him and pranks him, does all the dirty work.

Those early Raimi movies were certainly strange

>he said calmly

Hagrid is clearly /an/ though

Slytherin got WHAT IT FUCKING DESERVED.

Even in wizard land the jews were the bankers.

Wuz slytherine imploed to be nazis?

What's the spell for a rock hard boner?

I wonder if a white wizard would rather say nigger or Voldemort

KEK

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He obviously meant pain