ITT: Times you acted like the joker

>dude asks me for a smoke on a street
>beat his face in
WHAT HE FUCKING DESERVED

Who even bothers to report besides angry trannies and beta basedboy r*dditors?

>We get at least 3 months of MOMS GONNA FREAK again

OH GOD, HNNNNNNGHHHHHHHG, I'M SO HAPPY BROS OH SHIT IT'S HAPPENING. I'M GONNA, I'M GONNA COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

>wow user did you see the trailer for the joker? the guy is just like you, we should go watch it
No dad I'm not going to fucking watch the movie and get shot by an incel, I'm going to torrent it in a couple months go fuck yourself

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Based

I never did, because I am not butthurt manlet
>muh socksiety abloobloo

>walk into mall
>don’t hold the door open for the person behind me

>120846276
>reply to a faggot's menstruation post
>don't give him a (You)
D E V I L I S H

...

>walk into local shopping mall
>see 30 something tranny with a 5 olock shadow and pig smeared lipstick in a low cut dress and heels
>alter my path so ours intersect
>wait until I'm within earshot then make piercing eye contact
>we lock and I unleash a grin from ear to ear
>visibly flustered, a dash of anxiety and anger ebbs across xerface
>I lick my teeth with baited breathe
>xer brows furrow, scorn flooding over
>"dilate"
>I arch my back and belch out a roaring laughter
>flushing period red, an eruption of seethe and virginal epithets were spat
>xer clutched their hair and exasperated a deafening shrill, ripping off the wig
>swaggered past them and continued about my day
>check local news paper 4 days later, see tranny overdosed on lithium
>mfw

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You

>Get banned making a OP
>Swap IPs
>Make the same post
The tranny jannies will hate this

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I replied to off topic garbage and the jannie gave me 3 day ban lol

>change the toilet roll
>put it on like pic related
SOMEBODY CALL MY MAMMA!

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enjoy quality time with your old man

>open thread
>use flimsy premise as an excuse to share the frog picture I like

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Basado

>post in off-topic thread on Yea Forums
>wait a while
>don't get any replies
>report them
>threads get deleted
YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE

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Based

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I forgot a few times, they chase you and scream if you are tourist like some 3rd world country

>SIR SIR YOU FORGOT TO GIVE ME A TIP I NEED IT TO LIVE
>SIR SIR PLEASE DON'T WALK AWAY
>DON'T YOU FUCKING COME BACK TO THIS RESTAURANT AGAIN YOU STUPID ENGLISH FUCK

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>tipping moves up to 50%
>why the fuck wont you supplement my employees income?

Fuck tipping.

>spend $112 on food
>implying that a delay of your order is the fault of the waiter and not the kitchen
>don't tip

being an asshole 101

>"Please don't kill me, I have a family"
>Let him live and kill his family instead

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They don't have to bring out all the food all at once. If you pay $112 on food, you should be getting appetizers pretty fucking quick.

>Tipping at all
lmao

people with standards but this place is beyond saving

>"Please don't kill me, I have a family"
>Let him go and tell him to live a good life, not taking anything for granted
>track him down a week later and kill him anyway

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An hour wait for food is entirely unacceptable.

Growning up tipping was 10%, then 15%, then 20% and now they EXPECT YOU to pay 25% or more. Fuck servers and their entitled mentality, I tip ONLY if I get great service.

>Travel to burgerland
>Doesn't clap when the plane lands

this is KINO

Two thumbs up

same

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>fly to bangkok
>fuck an actual woman

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this doesn’t even happen if you’re an American here

True, but in 90%+ cases it's not the waiters fault, I'm pretty sure.

25% is ridiculous. Even 20% strikes me as pretty high as a yuropoor.

>hired some videotapes from blockbuster
>don’t rewind them
HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CROISSANT

I warned y'all niggas

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In europe we do not tip at all.

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Do Americans actually chimp out when they don't get tips? I usually hate tipping people who haven't earned it.

...

>t. Burgermutt who can’t go 60 mins without eating

>having an OSX virtual machine just for making bait posts
now THIS is devilish

What’s wrong with this? at least you tipped and steakhouses are pretty expensive

Dare I say, based and redpilled?

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I actually bashed some guys head against a brick wall years ago over and over like in that leaked clip but he didn’t die though

no, it does
i went to chili's and the service was shit so we didn't tip, then the server chased after us out of the restaurant and berated us for not tipping

Leave 10% at most if the waiter was on queue topping up your drinks and your food arrived in good time. Anything but this, like even having to wait for extended periods without offers to top up your drink, then don't fucking tip period.

I’m not American. In fact, I live in a country where nobody tips. One hour for food is unacceptable.

>get BTFO in an argument
>immediately close the thread
>start a new one LARPing as the opposing side so that I can hear what kind of arguments my side has
I SEE A BAD MOON RISING
I SEE TROUBLE ON THE WAY

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Doesn’t matter whose fault it is. If the service is terrible, you don’t tip. An hour for food is abysmal service.

Exactly.what sort of idiot waits that long for food. You just go somewhere nearby at that point.

>Thinks it's acceptable to wait for an hour
FAAAAAAAAAAAAG

Did you stab him in the throat first?

not for me, means they are actually cooking it

If it takes 30min at home and the restaurant has people it means they are not slapping a pre-made meal in the microwave

If you want to wait hours for a meal then that’s on your dumbass. Other people have better things to do with their lives than wait for some cook to pull his head out of his ass.

Nah just grabbed his head and smashed it, I broke his teeth

We got broken up by some guys then I sucker punched him in the back of the head

>enter a "times you acted like the joker" thread
>anons are leaving popular song lyrics at the end of their posts
>make some up myself instead
I WALKED ON A MOONLIT BEACH, OH GIRL

>in 90%+ cases it's not the waiters fault,
the same amount of effort it takes to run a restaurant, yet they expect 100% of tips

>Someone who doesn't know how restaurants cook things

Should’ve complained to the restaurant then.

Also, >Chili’s
awful taste, subhuman

>If it takes 30min at home
You fucking idiot. Even good restaurants do preparation work for their dishes. They'll literally come in before lunch a dinner services to prepare stuff for longer term dishes for this exact reason. No restaurant should be taking anywhere near an hour to get your food out. Even 30 minutes is pushing it if we're talking main courses, but maybe more understandable during a very busy service.

A meal that take 30 minutes at home takes like 10 minutes or less in a restaurant where they’re actually prepared in advance (at least at good restaurants). Multiple customers doesn’t matter because they can cook more than one thing at once (and if they can’t, they’re shit).

>everyone expect something funny or edgy in joker threads
>make an incoherent post instead
aiethathgs\gipvehdtydbdrgsdhb

i literally do not get tipping. you get paid by the hour, i pay for the meal. why the fuck should you get extra money?

It's funny how different the restaurant experience is in Europe compared to the US.
In Europe the waiters do not bother you unless you call them over. It is also the norm to stay for a long time after you are done eating. The waiters will not come with the bill until you request it.

>go to hospital
>don’t sanitize my hands
FLY ME TO THE MOON

based and dhhrfjkslwpclwwlwpwllsnfhhe

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>In Europe the waiters do not bother you unless you call them over.
This is why I'll tip in Europe if they do come and ask if I want a top up on my drinks. That's usually when I'll leave the 10%. Otherwise, for a mediocre service, I'll usually just leave some change.

Because capitalist pig managers pay their wait staff like two bucks an hour if you’re at a particularly sketchy place and skirt around this illegality by saying the tips compensate for at least minimum wage

If you can't afford to subsidize their employee wages, medical benefits, and various restaurant overhead costs, then you can't afford to eat out.

>go to a movie theater with a prop gun
>pretend to shoot everyone

Except if you don’t tip them then they just get paid minimum wage as per the law. The real reason is, with tips, they get way more than they’d ever make even if they were just paid double minimum wage. Tipping is bullshit.

>you see it's because of this jewish illegal practice in my shithole of a country!
and instead of changing that you get played by jews and spend more money. america is beyond cucked.

based incel

Yep.

>Watch video on YouTube
>"If you enjoyed the video, please subscribe."
>Enjoyed video
>Bookmark channel instead

the only reason waiters get paid is because customers go to the restaurant and pay for the meal and service. a tip is not "extra money", it's exactly what you're already doing when you sit down and eat at the restaurant

>Travel abroad
>Eat at a shitty chain
You are the nigger

>muh waiters so poor :((
fuck this bullshit, my sister who works at a restaurant fucking brags how she gets shitloads of money off tips everyday. my friend who works in a club makes literally hundreds every weekend.
they make a decent amount of money and it's not my obligation to substitute for your employer having illegal practices (which is a lie told by waiters to make me feel bad for them).

ALSO if you tip pretty women more you're a cuck. fucking whores go to restaurant and smile at everyone because they know it gives boners to beta faggots and they get mad cash from it. it's as bad as donating to twitch whores.

Yep.

>in HS
>sitting behind 5/10
>pull my dick out and start fapping
> Coom on my hands
>smear it on 5/10's backpack
SHAMONE!

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>can't think of anything funny
>post anyway
HE WAS A SKATER BOY I SAID SEE YOU LATER BOY

yikes

Have sex and take your meds

does your sister know you’re an incel

>granddad on death bed
>says i should my live to the best and enjoy it
>i've spent last 5 years doing absolutely nothing but shitposting and i'm considering killing myself
get fucked lmao

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Hmmmmmmm

>Script for the Joker movie calls for the word “system”
>Ad-lib it as “society.”
I STARTED A JOKE

>remind teacher about the homework
>didn't even do it myself
BORN DOWN IN A DEAD MAN'S TOWN

>live in Europe where we don't tip
>tip anyway

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I'm watching it with my dad

based

I don't understand tipping. You're supposed to pay for the overpriced food and the fucking employee for doing his job? Why can't the fucking restaurant pay the employee?

>trained as an early professional prospect boxer
>honed my skills 24/7 literally
>ate lightning crapped thunder
>was literally compared to Mike Tyson
>if Iron Mike could dish out 5-6 combinations in a second, I could do 7
>there were people who said I had the potential to even best prime kid dynamite on a good day
>when I say I could kill people with my barehands, I LITERALLY mean I could kill you with a basic combo of 1-2
>be one night walking home
>always have to pass this dark alley where a homeless huge ass nigger squats
>as I passed him he stood up
>my fighting instincts know whats about to happen
>I could feel my adrenaline pumping, my muscles tensing, my mind vigilant and my breathing heavy
>I knew it was time to fucking show my skills on the streets
>literally felt like Achilles
>"Why kill you now, Prince of Troy, with no-one here to see you fall?"
>combo of 7-5-6-5 repeated all over my mind, one, two, three.. fifteen times
>Nigger started to whisper "hey man, I dont want no trouble, just give me your phone and wallet, I dont want to hurt you"
>turn around with a smirk on my face
>see he has a knife
>implying
>with a grin, I said to this behemoth "Lets see how you fare against a marine"
>sad look on the nigger's face, probably scared
>Ape then patted me on the back mumbling "temper fly, brother'" then started laying down on his usual spot
>mfw I talk-no-jutsu this weird ass faggot
>mfw I dont even marines
>fucking called the cops on that pussy
>never saw that pathetic squatter ever again

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Are you the guy from the Jurassic Park thread yesterday

>don't read this long gay post
ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

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>girl I work with recently got into good shape after spending the last year getting chubby
>huge attention whore, so she immediately goes to instagram to post an underwear pic
>immediately regrets it and deletes it within minutes (conservative family and kids)

>I saved it

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>"Your total is $9.99"
>Hands a $10 note
>"Keep the change"

>make an unfunny post
>samefag multiple times and praise it for being funny and give myself (you)s
SHARP LIKE AN EDGE OF AN SAMURAI SWORD

Lmao

based

>live in Europe
>complain about tips in the United States
>don’t complain about my government taking have of my personal income
OH AH AH AH AH

yeah so what are you waiting for?

SOCIETY

>work in sales
>wish people a nice day when they leave
>half of the time I don't even really mean it
AND I RAN, I RAN SO FAR AWAY

lmao

At least your father talks to you and tries to make you laught...

LITERALLY ME DURING THE JOKER SCREENING IN MY KINOPLEX
(I'm crying because I just shot Robert in the head)

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I made that entire story up

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Yeah when I lived in Europe I noticed it was a lot more common for people to take it easy during meals and enjoy the company rather than try to speedrun their meal like in America.

Because they know you are muricans so if they see a tourist they try to fool him.

Too based

>order food
>transport is 0.5 dollars from other side of town
>don't tip at all

not even edgy desu

>go to a 4D cinema
>every time someone on screen lights up a cigarette, I do the same in order to enhance the immersion experience for myself and those around me
>some dad got mad at me for doing it in front of his kid and got me thrown out

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based

>mom asks nicely for me to clean my ropm
>say I did but I didnt

IIIIIII SAW THE SUN, I OPEMED UP MY EYES O SAW THE SUUUUN

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only good one in the thread desu

That doesn't change the fact my father is a piece of shit.

Why user? What'd he do?

He gave me what i FUCKING DESERVE

He just run away from home, never came back. :'^]

>Join discord ERP server
>Do handholding and cuddling ERP

MOMS GONNA FREAK

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how does reporting have anything to do with standards if the gay tranny jannies ignore said reports and do whatever they want anyway?

Me. Not really to improve this board mostly just to make anons mad.

why have I never thought of that? thank you user

wait, it's not like that in america?
i want the waiter to deliver the plates and fuck off until called, i'd hate it if i was eating and talking to someone and some dude keeps bothering me

>8
what did he mean by this?

kek

nigger

dial8

>work in hospital
>lots of shit that's supposed to be sterile and go inside people
>touch it all over with my filthy hands anyway

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same

hate this meme but keked

>rapes a woman
>then kill her and dump her body ina random trashcan
YOU'VE BECOME A PART OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

kek funny post

ohhhh
i guess i'm a brainlet

>lose an argument
>type yeah ok buddy, it’s clear you’ve got no good points and I’m bored, enjoy the last reply you want so much
>most of the time they don’t reply and it looks like I’ve won

LOL

ha HA I get IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>forced to tip at a restaurant
>given options of $1, $5, $10, or $20
>choose the $1

>be looking forward to a movie all year long
>spoil the ending for myself as soon as leaked clips drop
ROUND AND ROUND, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND, ILL TELL YOU WHY

>online pizza delivery has forced tipping
>also has custom tipping option
>pick custom and enter $0.50

imagine having life so pathetic that you dont mind losing hour just to wait for a food.

same but Yea Forums shitposting spoiled it for me

finally a based reply

15% isn't a good enough tip?
good thing I never go to restaurants, there is no way some whore is getting more than 15% from me

>boss asks for a cup of coffee with two spoons of sugar
>pour only one and a half spoon of sugar
PLEASE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF I'M OUT OF CONTROL

>fat Twitch streamer asks to tip him
>cheer him with Twitch bits instead
ALL THE KIDS GONNA DIG ME
I'M GONNA BE SO LEGENDARY

Rude

you're just creating animal incels and future animal jokers

I went to Germany with a tour group (which is cancer but I was young and didn’t know better) and I felt bad watching the table of boomers get increasingly frustrated while they were waiting for a check to be brought back to them. I only knew the customs because of my German classes. The apothecaries not selling ibuprofen and telling them it required a prescription was a pretty funny shit storm among the group too

>finish using bathroom at work
>notice co-worker doesnt wash their hands before leaving
>tell him he forgot
>leave without washing my hands
FORGIVE ME FOR MY WRONGS I HAVE JUST BEGUN

Objectively best system for tipping:
>If server stammers/is ugly/looks like an incel: 30% tip
>If server is normalfag: 15% tip
>If server is woman: 10% tip
>If server is woman who flirts/calls me honey (i.e. a whore): 0% tip

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>go to a steakhouse
>don't take the AEW belt with you

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good one user

>if server doesn't fuck up his simple functions and brings the menu, food and cheque in a timely fashion
10%
>if he's forcing you to repeat yourself or say any words beyond '[thing] please', listing your order and 'thank you'; comes to annoy you with the 'are you enjoying/is everything alright sir' bullshit while your mouth is full of food; or fucks up the order/time
fuck off

>paying your bill

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>be Yea Forums user
>get banned from /trash/
On other boards, it can happen to anyone, but you have to be really fucked up to get banned from fucking /trash/

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what did you post, user?

I thought I was the only one.

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>be at work
>post frogs in the giggler thread
>start working during lunch hour

HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME

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>at train station
>get told to "mind the gap"
>dont
STRIKE A POSE

>see shitty off topic thread
>reply without saging
BEAT OUT THE DUST MAN WITH THE RAIN DOGS

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I used to on /pol/ but the mods are more compromised than the investigation of Epstein suicide, so it's a waste of time.

>woman

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I unironically stopped holding doors for anyone. Too many times I’ve been ignored and had it close when I’m right there, so all you fuckers can hold it yourselves. Sometimes I slip through a closing door and say, “close one!” just to piss off people behind me. I truly am the Joker...

>go to a worthless thread in which an user ask for movie recomendations regarding a topic that isn't but an excuse to post a picture of a whore
>make serious movie recomendations

underrated

You tipping elitists are so fucking unbearable. You fucking morons act like tipping is some obligatory thing, rewarding bad and mediocre service. You’re literally promoting laziness and enabling restaurants to treat you however the fuck they want, because you retards will still tip 25% regardless

>make shitty statement
>reply to myself saying ''not him but he's right''
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH SWEET CHILD OF MINEEEEEEE

>Sometimes I slip through a closing door and say, “close one!” just to piss off people behind me.
kek

Why don't you guys tip?

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>girl confesses she likes me on the playground
>call her a dumb slut and run away
>10 years later stalk her on facebook
I KNOW ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT THE CRYING GAME

My german teacher said in europe the tips are already calculated into the total so you have to pay it.

>was part of a tour inside the Kremlin
>passed a WC sign
>it was on the same level as the presidency office
>it is the presidential bathroom
>"uhhhhh can I go peepee?"
>"Make it quick, user"
>pissed everywhere but the stall
>mfw

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>go to the toilet just to wipe and do nothing else

>Girl tells me to have a good day
>dont
YOU LOOK LIKE A PERFECT FIT
FOR A GIRL IN NEED OF A TOURNIQUET

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>instead report the posts complaining about it

Ain't got no money cuh

>go to Joker thread
>ACTUALLY GET TRIGGERED
SOMEBODY STOP ME

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I report every pro-Jew post.

>pretend to be chad
>never go after girls my entire life
>end up crying when I think of the amount of time I spent alone
ALL ABOARD AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I prefer the whole shaft

>go to the toilet
>take a big ole dump and throw the paper in it
>jam the flusher so it floods

get to work jannie

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This except I walk up to the tranny and say "excuse me sir can I interest you in some dilate?"

>go to toilet
>pee all over outside and handle, sometimes on the floor
>fart as loud as I can
>don’t wash hands
DONT TELL ME WHAT I CANT BE, YOU NEVER KNEW ME ANYWAY

You think society would permit someone as DAMAGED as you to be a member? You think a woman would ever entertain the thought of being with you, knowing you could WEREWOLF at any time?

>let him live but report him to the IRS

The jannie needs to work for his pay

god I hate that movie

>Work as a tour guide in a beach town and live off tips
>Never tip waiters or delivery people

Right? How the fuck could he not know?

I think during The Troubles in Northern Ireland both sides murdered any trannies they found so he wasn't used to seeing them.

I hope that image ain't based off something.

>Went to restaurant
>Got good service
>Bill was $30
>I didn't tip at all
Never got my receipt though

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