Post occasions wherein which you assumed the role of the japer. I'll start
>car requires premium unleaded
>fill her up with diesel
WHAT I'VE DONE
Post occasions wherein which you assumed the role of the japer. I'll start
Alexander Adams
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtube.com
youtube.com
twitter.com
Liam Reed
>wherein which
Nathaniel Harris
>go to a "occasions wherein which you assumed the role of the japer" thread and claim I've done something
>in reality I haven't done such thing
Caleb Roberts
>customer only had two items where one is a cup of coffee and the other is a candy bar
>asks for a bag
>poor cup of coffee in bag and hand customer the melted plastic
I'M THE BAD GUY
DUH
Tyler Thomas
>teacher gives me homework
>get home, and don’t make homework, but play xbox instead
AND I WAS LIKE BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOH
Daniel Sanchez
>get a captcha
>tells me to check off all the squares with bicycles in them
>check off 3 out of 4 actual squares
>it still lets me through
Charles Nguyen
Thank you, Reddit!
Joshua Smith
>mom tells me to take out the dishes before she gets home
>don’t
THE YEARS CREEPS SLOWLY BY LORENA
Kevin Perry
>asks me to select the cars
>select traffic lights instead
Levi Ward
dumb frogposter
Matthew Wood
>go into a funthread where people are relaxing and enjoying themselves
>post a shitty iPhone pic and call them reddit
FEELIN' LIKE A GUTTERSNIPE STANDING IN LINE
DECIDING HIS LIFESTYLE BY ROLLING THE DICE
Chase Robinson
I made a sneed post on Yea Forums and got auto-banned because their mods are actually competent.
Aaron Robinson
>jaywalk
>...
HEY MACARENA
Michael Reed
>dad axes ne "son are you doning in urinal"
>"affirmativbe"
>complete pooping with door locked and hot shower on
>dfw
Oliver Taylor
>high school kids ask me to buy them alcohol
>say yes
>they give me $50 and a list
>tell them where and when to meet me
>go home and go to bed with an extra $50 in my pocket
Jaxson Fisher
>goes to a meme thread on Yea Forums to accuse others of being reddit
>no one knows is actually from reddit himself
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
Alexander Robinson
>go to a chinese restaurant
>order sushi
WELL THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
Robert Young
>go to random youtube vid
>start argument in comments about how bad USA is compared to rest of the world
STACYS MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON
Jack Thomas
Brody Gray
>tell people to have sex
>am a 28 yo virgin
BABY ARE YOU DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN
Jaxon Ortiz
>Cashier tells me to have a good day
>Have a bad day instead
A MONSTER A MONSTER
Luis Sanchez
>go into least reddit thread on Yea Forums
>tell everyone that they’re reddit
Brody Martinez
>Run over a female with my car
IM NOT A PERFECT PERSON
James Robinson
>"saving, do not turn off the power"
>wish to corrupt my save the same as society has corrupted my life
>decide not to turn off the system anyway
who let the dogs out
David Allen
>go to comment section of death battle's newest video
>"lol screwattack didn't do their research again, the character that lost should have won because [insert the most stupid and contrived reasons I can come up with including the ever functional "hes more popular"]
AND THE RAIN WILL KILL US ALL
Anthony Davis
based
Jace Hughes
>Yea Forums mods
>competent
Ryan Anderson
>person in bathroom stall
> throw a wad of wet paper over the top
>heyyyy
>run
Thomas Bennett
>trap and kill raccoon that’s been harassing my chickens
>put the corpse in the recycling bin instead of the trash
OOH EEH OOH AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG
Jackson Miller
Checked
Hudson Clark
>download anime episode the day it gets uploaded
>don't watch it until a few days later
I'M NOT SICK BUT I'M NOT WELL
Leo Evans
ITS TAPE
fucking cringe kino right there user
Christian Garcia
>check post for repeating numerals
>obtain concurrent digits myself
SOMEBODY STOP ME
Liam Taylor
>I was in high school
>there is a food drive wherein where you donate an item, you get a raffle ticket.
>raffle will be done at school wide assembly
>devilish plan: buy a hundred items, get a hundred raffles, make people read my name a hundred times during assembly
>go to grocery store and buy $80 worth of ramen noodles
>next day, I need help unloading my car of ramenergy
>I ask the people to write me 100 raffle's
>they say, "no, you win automatically"
>my plan is ruined
>I ended up supplying 2/3 of all goods for the food drive
>the food drive would have been a failure if I hadn't jacked around with my autism
>people thought I was a nice guy after that, but that wasn't what I was trying to do
>I thought life was a tragedy, now I realize it's a comedy.
Hudson Lee
>friend recommends a movie for me
>dont watch it
SHAWTY HAD THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS
Charles Cook
>get an hour lunch break at work
>only take a five minute break
NEW PATEK ON MY WRIST
Tyler Myers
>Get a homework assignment
>Do it at school
YOU CAN'T PUT ME IN SOCIETY
Logan Reyes
>friend leaves his Netflix account open
>change his password to iamgay
SO I TELL YOU ALL THE STORY OF THE JOKE AN THE THIEF IN THE NIGHT
Colton Gomez
>accidentaly hits a woman in the head with my hand
>I don't apologise
Jace Torres
Liam Allen
Yea Forums has just the worst mods
Brandon Wright
>start a genuine thread about Television & Film
>reply to myself and all replies with soijack until the thread 404s
WAIT
I'M COMING UNDONE
Kevin Wood
>Boss reminds me of work assignment
>Tell him I'll get right on it and have it to him in an hour
>I already did it
>Do nothing productive for an hour
ITS NOT THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE COCAINE
Jason Cruz
>medication says not to drink alcohol while taking it
>down it with a shot of jack daniels
WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL YOU SIMPLY MAKES YOU STRANGER
Ethan Parker
>be me
>get regular "based and redpilled to my posts"
>also me
>get called a tranny summerfag from the same anons when I briepost
This double identity makes my cock hard. Praise Al Gore for inventing anonymity.
Daniel Wilson
That's nothing. I create actual arguments WITH myself and reply to myself.
Cooper Nelson
>if erection lasts longer than 4 hours consult physician
>6 hours into boner and didn't call the doctor
NEVER START WITH THE HEAD
Logan Foster
>be me
>tip waiters with a quarter
I DID MY TIME AND I WANT OUT
Charles Walker
>go to grocery store
>try some grapes before purchasing them
IF I WAS IN WORLD WAR 2 THEY'D CALL ME SPITFIRE
Angel Smith
>work at fast food restaurant
>white woman with 5 black kids come in
>she orders them chicken nuggets
>"5 chicken niglets coming up, ma'am!"
THE WRONG SIDE OF HEAVEN AND THE RIGHTEOUS SIDE OF HELL
Adrian Reyes
>get real tired of society
>go off into the woods with a few friends
>things start to go well
>realize that not only am I living in a society, but I created one
>lock myself up
HehHEEhoooHAA
Jaxon Cooper
>go to grocery store
>buying a dozen eggs
>go through multiple cartons to find uncracked eggs
>leave cracked ones on the floor
IT STARTS WITH ONE THING, I DON'T KNOW WHY
Blake Young
Cry moar
Bentley Evans
Ryder Thompson
Here's another story from my diarrhea diary
>be me
>dryhump 12 year old girl
>I was 13 at the time
AINT NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN
Jose Perez
>Slonk a fat gangweed
>Don't feel as disgusted by minorities briefly
SOMEBODY STOP ME
Brody Hernandez
ted danson lol
Lucas Lopez
cool, go back
Anthony Diaz
Get outta here chad
Josiah Reyes
>I haven't had sex in 5 years
>she was drunk and ugly
OOOOHHWAHAHAHAH
Jaxson Rivera
Not based but ultimately redpilled. There's a Jokerette slampiggy waiting in Hell for all of us.
Gavin Wright
>Harbor secret ambitions for high-powered careers in finance and politics that I'm ineligible for due to creepy mega-autism personality and also being a poor
>Fired from multiple jobs for "weird behavior" and "making co-workers uncomfortable"
>End up living alone with parents again because broke millennial, compulsively talking to myself and laughing at the absurdity of it all
Luke Kelly
Based. My only goal now is to survive long enough to see the Joker and not become a PeePeePoomer.
Jayden Gomez
>told to have sex sarcastically by user on korean bbq cutting board
>actually have sex
ha ha ha
Jaxon Flores
>gay Joker
Oliver Collins
>be black
>make fuck niggers threads to filter out leftist normfags
THE ANIMAL I'VE BECOME
Benjamin Lee
You are me, I am you.
Our time shall come, brother
Brody Hughes
This place suddenly makes a lot more sense
Adrian Gomez
It was probably me who told you that.
Glad if I could help.
Isaac Martinez
>go to McDonald’s
>order fries without salt
>salt them myself
Бoчкa, бacc, кoлбacит coлo
Кoлбacep пo пoяc гoлый
Tyler Sanchez
>captcha asks me to confirm I'm not a robot
>I'm actually a robot
MILKSHAKE WITH THE CRUSHED UP OREOS
Bentley White
>briefag
>has only had sex once, with a drunk hoe
You have no power over me anymore. I shant have sex and that's that.
John Edwards
>girl has visible cold sore
>make out with her anyway
WERE GOING DOWN DOWN
Camden Cruz
>”Society hates us...b-but you s-still love me right, user? We are going to rise up together and make the normies suffer for what they’ve done to us!”
Asher Evans
>be ginger
>make ginger hate thread because I secretly hate myself
YUNG MOOLAH BABY
Angel Martinez
>don't read the terms and conditions
>say that I have anyways
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY
Gabriel Harris
Suit yourself but don't come running to me when the Tessa Fags become a thing and tell you to have sex with trannies.
Jaxson Stewart
Tbh if you don't sit in your room alone and pretend your a famous Hollywood actor being interviewed by Jimmy kimmel to promote your new upcoming litty action flick you don't belong here
Dominic Gray
>Tessa Fags
For the love of fuck give this board ideas
Dominic Wright
>implying any user would want to even larp as a tessa fag
You're safe kid.
Gavin Torres
>supposed to get my breaks checked before a road trip
>I never did
SOMEBODY STOP ME
Nathaniel Brown
>tfw no cutie gamer gf to rise up with
Somebody get me outta here
Brandon Cruz
>pee in public pools
Does anyone know where the love of god goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours
Landon Wright
I've done it once or twice. I also exclusively pee in the sink.
Parker Collins
>I also exclusively pee in the sink
I hope you know you are based & redpilled
John Brooks
There are hardly any Conan threads so I pass.
James Rodriguez
>Yea Forums
Go back and stay there on that pozzed board, faggot
Carson Long
>japer
I don't know if this was intentional, but now all I can think of is turning JAPED into a word. You just got JAPED.
Cooper Rodriguez
>Wench: Would you not have me honest?
>Me: No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favoured; for honesty coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar.
>Wench: Well, I am not fair; and therefore I pray the gods make me honest.
>Me: Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish.
>Wench: I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul.
>Me: Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness! sluttishness may come hereafter.
>mfw
Landon Barnes
Someone the other day said The Joker will be called CORINGA in Portuguese
Lincoln Allen
>juice expired yesterday
>drink it anyway
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE
FLOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRR
David Gonzalez
>quads
chuck and sneedpilled
Jacob Fisher
>The Joker will be called CORINGA in Portuguese
yeah that's correct
Joseph Howard
Literally Kokichiposting
Brandon Turner
>go on double date to the movies
>the other girl is hotter than my date
>tell her
>she says that's mean and that she's gonna tell my date
>say do it if you want to upset her
>she does
>my date gets mad at me
>tell them I don't care because my date is kinda fat
this actually happened btw
David Smith
>ketchup bottle says, refrigerate after opening."
>I opened the bottle
>I didn't refrigerate it
it ain't me
Ethan Powell
Based mods. Shame they don't remove more Steven Universe threads though.
Colton Foster
What a cunt
Eli Hill
>beast mode: [activated]
Jack Robinson
>spend college financial aid on bionicles
IT'S HIDING IN THE DARK
ITS TEETH ARE RAZOR SHARP
THERE'S NO ESCAPE FOR ME, IT WANTS MY SOUL IT WANTS MY HEART
Bentley Jackson
>be me
>attend local renaissance festival
>wouldst thou care to know the manner in which I acquired these wounds?
>tis simple! I'm The Jester, m'lady!
Caleb Taylor
The most devilish thing I've ever read
Kayden Harris
>tell boss I'll have work done by end of week
>Shitpost on Yea Forums instead
>On Friday type up a bunch of wingdings, send it to boss and just say it's a corrupted file
Come on baby let the good times roll
Evan Wood
>walking down sidewalk
>see litter on ground
>just keep walking
LOSING MY SIGHT LOSING MY MIND
Oliver Miller
>gets raped
>don't tell nobody about it
YOU'VE BECOME A PART OF MEEEEEEEEEEEE
Aiden Scott
>forgot the pic
Nathaniel Thompson
Sensible kek
Isaiah Jenkins
BASED
Austin Jenkins
>le 2019
>le greentexting on Yea Forums and using le le to le greentext
LIKE A BOSS
Nathaniel Russell
le kill yourself cumbrain
William Cook
Is greentext not allowed anymore?
Ryan Mitchell
>fast food cashier asks for my name for my order
>give them a fake name
SOMEONE LOCK ME UP
Hudson Jones
>free weekend for game on steam
>buy the game
>refund it when the free weekend is over
I'M NOT CRAZY I'M JUST A LITTLE UNWELL
Jackson Rodriguez
>steal my neighbor's mail
>now i know his address
Josiah Wood
>Is greentext not allowed anymore?
Chase Roberts
>answer calls from telemarketers
>just breathe in to the phone
ROB THE JEWELRY STORE AN TELL EM MAKE ME A GRILL
Nathaniel Lopez
>Scoot past woman in the hall
>Let my chest touch her boobies
THROW AWAY THE KEY
Bentley Lopez
>after reading this thread start gently tapping my girl friend's head like patting a dog's head and saying "the japes...the japes...the japes" while she watches some shitty American Pie movie
>she flips out
>I say "just japin you bro"
>she goes back to watching the movie
Charles Gutierrez
Kek
Christopher Reyes
unhinged
Leo Cox
>asked to post times where I'm like the comic book guy
>don't
I WILL TRY TO FIND MY PLACE
IN THE DIARY OF JANE
Luis Wright
>my boomer boss has a pretty sharp memory for his age
>anytime he annoys me and leaves I misplace a couple of his things
>do it just enough that it isn't too obvious but he has to second guess himself
YOU CANT KILL ME CAUSE IM ALREADY INSIDE YOU
Elijah Barnes
>by not acting like the japester you end up being the most like him
MAD WORLD
Charles Johnson
>sitting in restaurant with wife
>see a women with a fat ass enter the establishment
>tell my wife I need to use the bathroom
>go to the coat room and smell her coat
LUCIFER SON OF THE MOURNING IM GONNA CHASE YOU OUT OF EARTH
Kevin Long
zoomers ruined this maymay
not a single funny one in this thread
Henry Rogers
>go to grandpa's funeral
>dress like the jupiter to express my edgy angst to my family
Bentley Hughes
>LMAO bottom text
Do the meme wrong
Lincoln Hall
>at noon
>say 'good morning'
I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD
Jaxson Powell
>customers change is 24 cents
>give him a quarter instead
CAN'T YOU HELP ME CUZ I'M STARTING TO BURN
Gavin Cook
>at night
>wish my roommate a good night
>i didn't want him to have a good night
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH WHAT I'VE BECOME
Jeremiah Wright
>in 3rd grade
>classroom has a box where assignments are turned in
>take someone else’s work, erase their name and write mine
AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES UP WITH THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE
Kayden Ross
based and redpilled Brieposter
Ryan Rogers
>people want me to post good times I acted like the joker meme
>don't
Charles Perry
>tell people I’m joe on Yea Forums
>they believe me
ON THE DAY I WAS BORN
THE NURSES ALL GATHERED ROUND
Isaiah Nguyen
It's so good to see Yea Forums happy
Jace Brown
Who’s joe?
Julian Rodriguez
>go bowling
>walk out with the rental shoes
EENY WEENY TEENY WEENY SHRIVELLED LITTLE SHORT SHORT MAN.
Kayden Walker
>Getting one on one training at work
>trainer wants me to navigate someone in screen
>pretend idk what she's referring to so she has to get close and point
>instead we both reach for the mouse and our hands briefly make contact
YOU'RE COMING HOME YOU'RE RUNNING FREE
Brandon Martin
good taste in music
Andrew Long
UN FUCKING BELIVEABLE
Hudson Phillips
>doing exam
>what is the exact number of people that were killed in the Holocaust
>answer "No."
THE ROOF THE ROOF THE ROOF IS ON FIRE
John Sanchez
>Joe mama
THROW DAT ASS IN A CIRCLE THROW DAT ASS IN A CIRCLE
THROW DAT ASS IN A CIRCLE
Julian Collins
>work at water park
>sniff women's shoes in the locker room
I had a friend named The Ramblin' Bob
He used to steal, gamble, and rob
He thought he was the smartest guy around
Well I found out last Monday
That Bob got locked up Sunday
They've got him in the jailhouse way downtown
He's in the jailhouse now
He's in the jailhouse now
Well I told him once or twice
To stop playin' cards and a-shootin' dice
He's in the jailhouse now
Ah di o-dalee eehee dee-o ti
Ah di o-dalee ee oh dee-o ti
Yodelayee-hee
Yodelayee-hee
Yodelay-eeee
Bob like to play his poker
Pinochle, whist and euchre
But shootin' dice
Was his favorite game
But he got throwed in jail
With nobody to go his bail
The judge done said that he refused the fine
He's in the jailhouse now
He's in the jailhouse now
Well I told him once or twice
To stop playin' cards and a-shootin' dice
He's in the jailhouse now
Ah di o-dalee eehee hee
Ah di o-dalee eehee hee
Yodelayee-hee
Yodelayee-hee
Yodelay-eeee
Well I went out last Tuesday
I met a girl named Susie
I said I was the swellest guy around
Well, we started to spendin' my money
And she started to callin' me honey
We took in every cabaret in town
We're in the jailhouse now
We're in the jailhouse now
I told that judge right to his face
I don't like to see this place
We're in the jailhouse now
Ah di o-dalee eehee o hee
Ah di o-dalee eehee deeo ti
Yodelayee-hee
Yodelayee-hee
Ah Yodelay-eeee
Carson Bennett
>join marine corps without telling my parents
>when the drill instructor has us call our parents, call Papa Murphy’s instead
BAWITDABA DA BANG A DANG DIGGY DIGGY DIGGY SAID THE BOOGY SAID UP JUMP THE BOOGY
(This ones real)
Ethan Nelson
>female coworker asks if I think Yea Forums should be taken off the internet
>tell her no without hesitation
THERE'S A PLACE OFF OCEAN AVENUE
Christopher Gutierrez
>supposed to take quality measurements every 4 hours at work
>do it only once per day and just copy and paste them
I AIN'T NO GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH
William Martinez
>walk down thw street smoking cigarette
> purposefully blow smoke on incoming passerbies
ALL THE PROBLEMS MAKE ME WANNA GO LIKE A BAD GIRL STRAIGHT TO VIDEO
Christopher Ross
>friend gives long uplifting speech about surviving cancer twice
>Mutter "Third times a charm"
WILLY WONKA MAJOR TOM ALI AND LEIA HAVE MOVED ON
Daniel White
>let loose a nasty SBD in the chip aisle
>leave
Jose Green
Jack Jones
>shitpost in a thread
>report the user who calls me out for doing it
>his post is deleted and mine remains
CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
Juan Anderson
> write a bunch of stuff with white sharpie on all my guns
>shoot up a bunch of shitskins in neighboring country
I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I BRING YOU FIRE
Thomas Diaz
>ask mom for kraft Mac and cheese
>says we have kraft Mac and cheese at home
>Mac and cheese at home...
>but I never went home
I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EEEEEYYYYEEEESSSSS
Elijah Young
Bentley Brooks
>Finish the bottle of laundry detergent
>put it back on the shelf
DIG, BURY ME
Camden Lewis
>Actually sick
>Put stock crowd noises on in the background while I call in sick to work so my boss thinks I'm lying
KEEP ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIN"
Luke Kelly
>Take a penny
>Don't leave one.
BONG BONG BONG, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THE CONGO
Leo White
>13% doing 52% of the crime.
youtube.com
Isaac Barnes
>"can I get a cup for water"
>*fill it with soda when they look away*
William Parker
Good on them
Tyler Powell
>captcha tells me to select bicycles
>select bicycle symbol on the road
Asher Davis
>do the moonwalk
>I’m on earth
DON’T STOP TILL YOU GET ENOUGH
Juan Campbell
When i watch john oliver and see him do his usual manipulative lying. Sometimes i want to blow his head off. Happens with trevor noah too.
Sebastian Bailey
>ask for 12" of white bread at Subway
>they tell me they're out of white bread
>leave
I'LL FACE MYSELF
Lincoln Scott
This is the thing, a lot of people think about how it would be to someone who they really think is an asshole, how it would be to blow his fucking head off. But they don´t actually go and do it.
If a nigger thinks about it though, watch the fuck out, they just might.
Hudson Peterson
>Sitting in steam room
>Wait until someone is about to come in
>Take a giant nasty fart
>Leave as he comes in
Brayden Ross
ONE WILL STAND ANOTHER WILL FALL DOWN
Lincoln Gutierrez
is there anything more reddit than having a reddit basedjak edit saved to your fucking iphone
Aaron Thompson
And the song is perfect too, such a bad song. HAHAHA
Ian Jenkins
>iphone
TOP KEK
IPHONE?
MORE LIKE
iTODDLER!
ROFL
*dabs*
Kevin Rodriguez
>Boss just finishes giving me a raise
>Crop dust his office after downing 20 dollars of Taco Bell for lunch
INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE
Michael Rogers
>make homework
what does that mean
Noah Young
Freaking kino my dude
John Ortiz
New to Yea Forums
Dont really know whats going on and want to participate in the monkeyshines
Im having fun
>I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT
Christian Diaz
based
Jacob Mitchell
Cringe
Jacob Edwards
> mom tells me to make my bed when I wake up
> from the moment I wake up I just shitpost all day long on Yea Forums
> never technically woke up so I don’t have to make my bed
IIIIII WANT TO KNOOOOWWWEEEW
HAVE YOU EVERRRRRRR SEEEEEEN THE RAIIIIIIIIN
Alexander Fisher
why is akko being the joker dude
Mason Moore
>call off sick from retail job
>go in to pick up some batteries anyways
I’M GOING OFF THE RAILS ON A CRAZY TRAIN!
Eli Jones
>Go to job interview and hiring manager asks where I see myself in 5 years
>Tell him in management
>Gonna kill myself in 4
DO YOU HAVE THE TIME
William Baker
>get asked this question
>reply "hopefully dead"
>get the job
IT STARTS WITH O-this actually happened but it was a shit job
Jace Flores
>Go on torrent sites
>Leave "10/10 perfect quality" comments on shitty cam rips
>Post multiple comments on program downloads saying they're infected when they aren't
>Seed otherwise dead torrents until a new user gets to 90%+ and then throttle my upload to 10kbs before stopping entirely at 99%
YOU DID NOT DESERT ME, MY BROTHERS IN ARMS
Christopher Campbell
>buy a game from Steam
>return it after playing for an hour and 59 minutes and get a full refund
PSYCHOSOCIAL, PSYCHOSOCIAL, PSYCHOSOCIAL
Jackson Price
if it was an autoban then the mods aren't competent
Aaron Harris
I almost bought a purple suit the other day because I like that Joker color, but I keep thinking of these bullshit threads and all the tryhards idiots out there. A friend of mine even got married in a pruple suit with green and orange. The excuse was peacock feather colors, but both he and his wife are huge Batman geeks. Though even he would probably find shitty threads like this lame. He used to give me shit for posting on Yea Forums back in college anyway.
Sebastian Reyes
>Girlfriend wants to breakup
>Impregnate her so she won't leave
I WILL FIND MY PLACE IN THE DIARY OF JANE
Lucas Smith
>trap raccoon
>drug it and shave it
>keep it in a cage and feed it random shit
>eventually drug it again then leave it in the woods
strangely nobody ever reported seeing a naked raccoon
Jordan Roberts
>think MM is gay
>listen to both of their 5 hour Q&A's despite never watching more than one episode of the show
WELL SOMEBODY TOLD ME
Xavier Price
based
Jordan Lewis
what kind of job was it?
Luke Martin
>go into joker behavior thread with the intention of enjoying everyone's funny experiences
>end up exlcusively laughing at the unexpected song choices for the punchline
YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE
Blake Green
>>they say, "no, you win automatically"
>>I ended up supplying 2/3 of all goods for the food drive
Chase Collins
>Go to Cali
>Kill a bunch of couples and women in the 60s
>Mock the police
>Leave
>50 years later
>Run for president
>Those fucking idiots supporting me seriously believe Ted Cruz is the Zodiac
LOL
Jayden Hernandez
>go to restaurant
>ask for coke
>server asks if pepsi is fine
>say yes
>it wasn't actually fine
IT'S NINE O' CLOCK ON A SATURDAY
James Fisher
Underrated
Christopher Ward
This is why /pol/ has IDs
Isaiah Anderson
Checkerino
Jayden Nguyen
>look forward to the weekend all week
>do absolutely nothing except rot in front of my computer
IM NO HERO, AND IM NOT MADE OF STONE
Aaron Hughes
>look forward to having a productive, happy. normal life
>end up a lazy NEET that does what you did for 6 straight years
RIGHT OR WRONG, I CAN HARDLY TELL
Josiah Thomas
>get hired on to make sequel in new Star Wars trilogy
>subvert everyone's expectations by making the shittiest movie ever created in cinema history
IT STARTS WITH ONE THING I DONT KNOW WHY DOESNT EVEN MATTER HOW HARD I TRY
John Gonzalez
Fuck off, Rian
Joseph Scott
>Friend is a virgin
>can't get laid
>tell him to lower his standards
>he does and rawdogs an obese chick
>she gets pregnant
>he's against abortion
>has to keep it
CURSED WAS MY SOUL UNTOLD WAS THE PAIN
Brayden Nelson
I want to be her pusyslave
Adrian Jones
>post Sneed
You get the Desert Eagle beat till your cranium leak
Scarecrow the sandman, double aught buck: you sleep
When I pull this unit it's intensive care unit
And I steal your blood type so they can't transfuse it
World War Z, hear the BLAY! hit the deck
Keyser Soze usual suspect
With a one hitta quitta and some shit to disfigure
In your hospital room to finish you off nigga
Isaac Lewis
This is what keeps me comin back year after year.
Joseph James
based
William Watson
>drive near a black neighborhood
>scream ORANGE MAN BAD
>they start praising me and telling me I’m aight
WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD AT?
Cooper Myers
Friggin based music taste, fren
Carter Thompson
kill yourself beta potato loving faggot. Seriously die
Brayden Bennett
I unironically wish I had a slight dose of autism so I could just plow through terrible social situations by being an absolute Chad and not giving a single fuck.
Luke Roberts
top kek, user
Christopher Baker
>post controversial shit on anonymous board
>use TOR to give my comments 100 likes
Connor Murphy
>want to make my family proud
>instead am a 26 yo alcoholic NEET who smokes weed and jacks off all day every day without ever showering
my sharona
Liam Morales
>going to home after work
>get on wrong bus by accident
>autism prevents me from just asking the driver to let me out before he takes off
>get home almost an hour late
DROWNING DEEP IN MY SEA OF LOATHING
Jose Williams
>Playing classic wow
>Random guy buffs me
>Don't buff him back
ONE, NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
Jaxson Smith
>At a camp site laundromat place.
>see someone left out their detergent.
> Use their detergent instead of buying some for myself.
ERASE MYSELF! AND WHAT IVE DOOOOOOne!
Parker Sanders
ESL, probably from a romance language country
Cooper Young
>post on /r9k/
>captcha is "i'm not a robot"
>check it anyway
WAKE UP, GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKE UP...
Aiden Hall
is the joke that his hair looks like a head of lettuce
Levi Nelson
Not cool user. That was me.
Isaiah Johnson
Caleb King
Kek
Jaxon Gomez
Rian is kind of based for this desu
Asher Perez
>See a yield sign at an empty intersection
>Come to a complete stop anyway
AND SO IT MUST BE FOR SO IT IS WRITTEN
Logan Wilson
>be me
>in other thread about no Joker sticky
>call the jannies, trannys
>everyone clapped
>jannies seethe
>still here
>still dabbin
Connor Powell
>create a thread which in which I beseech other image forum users to regale us with instances of jester-like behavior
>don't expect it to do well
>leave
>return hours later
>my thread is close to bump limit
LIAR LAWYER MIRROR SHOW ME WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
Adrian Ramirez
dilate
Joseph Wilson
>out with girlfriend at restaurant
>see young woman dressed up like a leather whore walking past the window
>excuse myself after a few minutes
>furiously masturbate in the toilet imaging myself raping the girl
EVERY LITTLE THING THAT YOU SAY OR DO
I'M HUNG UP
I'M HUNG UP ON YOU
Hunter Morales
>grow up in extremely Conservative Christian family
>violently taught the evils of lust and pre marital sex and the it's consequences
>traumatised by strict upbringing
>never have sex
>never get married
>my parents want grandkids
I STARTED A JOKE
Kevin Williams
>Visit restaurant
>Order some food
>Get bill
>Pay exactly the sum, not giving a single cent as a tip
Wait
I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate
Jason Johnson
>phone company calls me for an offer
>tell them to call back because i'm busy
>not actually doing anything
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
Juan Powell
>Doc removes wisdom tooth
>Says I'm only allowed soft foods for now
>Go home and eat hard foods
SO HERE I AM
DOING EVERYTHING I CAN
Gavin James
Why would peepee do this to wojak?
Lucas Reed
Same story here
William Harris
>he doesn't want to taste Brie's creamy centre
Jaxon Walker
Based japist
Ryan Thomas
>be me
>bait anons into Brieposting and sexually bullying me
>imagine it's really Brie
>cum buckets
Jayden Stewart
This but on a weekly time-frame.
Being a semi competent programmer among pajeets has its advantages. Everyone assumes you need a week for a one and a half day job and no one cares if you're doing your hours as written on contract.
Cooper Harris
dilate
Tyler Johnson
>be moi
>shit all over public toilet seat
>guy goes in after me
>he says "hey you shit all over the seat"
>say "YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKIN DESERVE" and shoot him
Oliver Cooper
>hold my shits in all weekend
>unleash a torrent of dook Monday morning at work
AND YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL
Asher Morris
Rambled and bobpilled
Elijah Ward
>chortle heartily at the japes
>post about how they actually aren’t funny
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
Jaxon Smith
ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
Charles Jones
The best mods user, the best mods.
Chase Hill
That's when you become the jokah baybee.
Hudson Cruz
Maybe he is buddhist anyway?
Kevin Baker
POWER.MOVE
That fat bitch got slammed brother.
Cameron Hernandez
>Uncle says I should go back for a master's degree no more than a year after I finished college
>Tell him that sounds reasonable
>I actually plan on waiting at least two years
WHAT'S NEW SCOOBY DOO
Jaxson Hill
>attend local renaissance festival
>Actually dressed in a Baroque style
THIS IS WAR, HUH
Asher Myers
>buy two tickets to bypass singles policy
NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE THAT POWER
Ayden White
>slick hair back with green jello
>Razor to Old Navy 'cause I have $50 gift card
>buy black trench coat
>employees freaking out that I'm a dangerous psycho
>Start doing a freaky laugh to creep them out even more
>cashier asks if I need a bag or if I'm gonna wear it out
>Tell her I need a bag
>Stare at her and smile as I take it out of the bag
>wear it out
YOU'RE OUTTA TOUCH
I'M OUTTA TIME
BUT I'M OUTTA MY HEAD WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND
Joseph Brown
>The Cringer
Is Portuguese, dare I say it, /ourlanguage/?
Chase Roberts
My fuckung sides
Levi Smith
>gently tapping my girl friend's head
>my girl friend's head
>my girl friend's
>girl friend
WHY EJY WHY WJY WHY EJY WJY WHY WHY WHY WHY
Noah Moore
DEVILISH
Oliver Morgan
>be cashier
>tell customer to have a good day
>secretly want him to have a shitty one
BABY WANTS A DIAMOND RING
Carson King
>do NoFap
>still save literal hundreds of porn and hentai pics, gifs, and webms all the while edging myself nearly every chance I get and then some
>finally cum and feel ashamed
>fall back into the vicious cycle
OOH EEE OOH AHH AHH
TING TANG WALLAH WALLAH BING BANG
OOH EEE OOH AHH AHH
TING TANG WALLAH WALLAH BING BANG
Charles Long
>never pay for train ticket
>finally get caught break down crying and guy feels awkward so lets me go
>still dont pay
DO YOU DARE TO WALK In THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION
Lincoln Brooks
>be an antisocial weirdo
>girls dislike me
>start getting in shape and putting effort in my social skills
>attractive girls start talking to me
>pretend not to be interested just so I can spite the society that abandoned me
>keep being a virgin
I'M LIVIN' IN THAT 21ST CENTURY
Carson Jackson
Japed and jokerpilled
Zachary Gutierrez
A google car will kill one biker because of you.
Hunter Howard
>customer leaves shopping cart on car park
>wheel it back and keep the change for myself
YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE
Eli Diaz
>Have to piss
>In public bathroom without windows
>Some guy taking a shit
>Turn the lights off before I leave
Take that you fucking leuser
Lucas Reed
>drink a whole 1.25L bottle of Pepsi max at 11pm at night
I LOOOVE YOU JESUS CHRISSST
Nolan Butler
>Be customer
>Cashier secretly wishes I have a bad day
>Have a good one
DRR DRR BING DRR DRR BING
Camden Diaz
I'M THINKING THAT IT MUST BE LOVE
Ian Lee
>Hit my own dick with a hammer
Take that, future me
William Price
did you get diarrhea?
Cooper Foster
You must be stopped
Zachary Jenkins
Very disappointed to see over 250 posts and not a single person using "Send in the clowns" as their song.
Christopher Nelson
Op is a fa-
Fun thread japeanon you did good this time
Connor Williams
>walk my dog out
>she takes a big shit on neighbors lawn
>he tells me to pick it up
>"just gotta go get baggy from home be right back"
>don't be right back
IN THE WILD FRONTIER OFF THE BEATEN TRACK
Colton Flores
>Pizza guy tells me it’s $21.99
>Pay the pizza guy $22
I GET A LITTLE BIT GENGHIS KHAN
Jayden King
based
Andrew Martinez
Jape is a word, it's and old fashioned way of saying prank or joke
Levi Green
>apartment caught on fire
>left all the important legal documents, ssn card, birth certificate, money
>saved the pocket pussy
EVERYBODY DANCE NOW
Lucas Bennett
>tell investors I spared no expense
>actually cut corners all over the place
JOHN WILLIAMS INSTRUMENTAL SCORE
Caleb Myers
>work in restaurant
>have to clean the dishes at the end of my shift
>go throw them all in the trash
>tell my manager I cleaned everything
I'M A BARBIE GIRL
Hudson Young
Have fun not getting a job lmao
Joseph Brooks
based, fuck bikers
William Hill
>society won't give me a gf
>make society my bitch
HahahAHahHHahHAhahAHhaha
Cameron Hall
>torrent
>don't seed at all
AFTER TEXAS REEEEEEEED
Alexander Cruz
I do this unironically
Kayden Sanchez
>be me
>read almost every single thread about me
>cringe in disgust
>keep coming anyway
AND YOU'RE GONNA HEAR ME ROAR
Luis Gutierrez
based disney thot
Gabriel Morris
>Be normal, good looking, well adjusted and contributing member of SOCIETY with a nice job and a girlfriend
>Larp as an incel on the internet for lulz
CLICK CLICK BOOM
Evan Myers
Xavier Ward
>be in psych ward
>get told to take my medicine
>pretend I did while not actually doing so
ONE
NOTHING'S WRONG WITH ME
TWO
NOTHING'S WRONG WITH ME
THREE
NOTHING'S WRONG WITH ME
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Dominic Lopez
OO WA WA WA
Blake Williams
>cat shits outside box
I shit inside box
Connor Collins
>Work for a credit card company
>Customer asks if we're accepted abroad
>Say we are
>We aren't
DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I'M STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAGE
Nathan Sanders
Dylan Cox
>actually unironically like the Joker character
>still gamersriseup post and shitpost in Joker threads anyway
OOKA CHAKA OOKA OOKA CHAKA
Julian Cook
>use plastic cups
>throw them away after one use despite only drinking water
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE
FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Christopher Gonzalez
That part of the video was pure kino. It synced up perfectly.
Justin Wood
good post
Thomas Sullivan
>security job overnight alone
>jack off, shitpost and watch anime all night and get paid for it
RUN AWAY WITH ME RUN AWAY WITH ME
Evan Davis
>get cast in a superhero movie
>i'm playing the joker
>send rats and dildos in the mail to my co-stars
GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS
GET UP GET DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS
Jose Flores
>Drive for Uber
>Passengers ask for me to put on Don't Stop Believin'
>Put this on instead
>youtube.com
FUCKING MAGNETS HOW DO THEY WORK
Daniel Moore
lowkey based
Angel Murphy
>call chinese restaurant
>you want take out or derivery?
>i will be eating there actually
I WAS A CHILD IN THE IVY THEN
Brody Mitchell
>interning at a library
>old woman has a book reserved
>gives me the number
>pretend to look in a spot (I know where the book is, it's not where I'm looking)
>tell her I'm sorry but it doesn't appear to be here
>she tells me she got a text message about it
>tell her to go ask at the desk
>while there I take her book and place it sideways behind the other books
>when the regular worker shows up to look for it he can't find it either
>customer gets pissed
>nobody knows what happened
WE HAD A WHAM
BANG
SHANG-A-LANG
AND A SHALALALA THING
Robert Cruz
based Brie
Ethan Jackson
>walking down the street
>blow huge vape clouds at passerby's
RULES OF NATURE
Brandon Cox
>shit myself
>my mother has to clean it
IM THE SCAT MAN
Jordan Garcia
Babababadabam bababiibababadabam
Michael Hill
His music is unironically God-tier
Mason James
>go to blockbuster in the 90s
>rent predator 2 on vhs
>watch the movie and return it not rewound
MY NAME IS CUBAN PETE
I'M THE KING OF THE RUMBA BEAT
Parker Turner
>Phoenix Joker stealing Leto Joker's iconic meme
IT'S NOT FAIR BROS
Connor Adams
>Talking with a girl for over 7 months
>finally meet, she asks if we wanna meet up again
>don't say yes or no
>2 weeks later break up with her
BREAKDOWN
BREAKDOWN
Benjamin Flores
William Wood
absolutely based
Mason Green
When did I say I did it ironically?
Asher Morgan
sorry wrong post
Luke Gomez
>call people cumbrains
>I actually have brain testicles
WAKE ME UP, BEFORE YOU GO-GO