Powerful

>something something the Nazis
Woah...

Star Wars needs some real empowered minority characters like Sisko

Attached: Sisko_with_shotgun _Past_Tense_II.jpg (360x450, 18K)

The banshees that wrote this probably thought it was profound.

>we are the horse that'll catch the dog that'll catch the cat that'll catch the mouse that'll catch the spider that'll catch the fly. i don't know why she swallowed the fly
Bravo D*sn*y.

A sequel to a semi obscure puppet movie has writing thats light years ahead.

Attached: hmmmm.jpg (565x414, 58K)

>You know, he grew up as a little shit-spark from the old shit-flint, and then he turned into a shit-bonfire, and then, driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance, he turned into a raging shit-firestorm.

Attached: jacob-bassage-laheyprint-copy.jpg (1920x2560, 677K)

sneed feed seed fuck chuck

It's kind of sad when you consider the trajectory of Oscar Isaac's career in the years immediately before he got involved in Star Wars.

oh hey it's that guy that has had a grand total of like 3 lines in the first movie and 10 lines in the second movie, what a memorable... guy,

Not a single memorable line in this entire trilogy, not even funny bad ones

This, way too forced. And they're not the spark; that was the original resistance. They're the dying embers. Should have been about a phoenix rising from the ashes or something.

>You're right. We're battered, we're beaten, our flame has dulled. But we're still burning.

Idk its not great but then i'm not an overpaid hollywood writer.

>HmmmmMMMMmmm

Attached: skeksis.jpg (825x1050, 598K)

Why is the military branch of the ruling government called the Resistance? Shouldn't the First Order be considered the rebel ones?

Never forget

Attached: we are the.png (1298x160, 49K)

They explained this in some filler material that came out the same time as TFA. The Republic in nuWars decided to disband their military after the war since they didn't want to end up like the Empire and the Resistance was just Leia's side project.

Hey in rogue one the girl says: "aren't we rebels? I'm rebelling!". This is a quote i remember.
There was also the funny scene in tfa of r2d2 ripoff giving a thumbs up to boyega.
And Kylo ren in tfa also says "WRAAARRRRGJHH" when he's destroying the panels in the ship.
Plenty of memorable quotes

That is next level stupid and implausible, who came up with such bullshit?

>The Republic in nuWars decided to disband their military after the war since they didn't want to end up like the Empire
Lol this is pathetic

After RotJ the New Republic was formed and had two major parties in the Senate which were the Googuy party led by Leia/Mon Mothma who were anti-gun, pro freedom and tolerance, and the Badguy party led by Empire loyalists who were racist and pro-war. You might notice some subtle references to real-world politics.

Eventually the Badguy party just got bored of squabbling and left the Republic altogether to go join up with the Empire Remnants at the edge of the Galaxy, and the Goodguy party cheered them on because now they could rule without the other party getting in the way with their pesky alternate opinions.

The first thing the Goodguy party did was abolish it's own military because 'if there's no army there can be no war'. (It was around this point Leia got kicked out of the Republic and started the Resistance, since she was apparently the only one who realised not having an army was a fucking stupid idea)

Then somewhere along the line Snoke took over the First Order and, without a military, the New Republic couldn't stop them growing in power.

The moral of the story is not to let women lead.

In high school I remember getting penalized for writing like this.

>The moral of the story is not to let women lead.
But all the women in Ep 8 are strong and intelligent leaders and they fix everything!

ah, so they left it out of the movie because it was stupid, I see.

Such elegant writing

>anti-gun, pro freedom

Attached: 1556263969473.png (672x752, 927K)

I bet they spent all day at the writers office on that one.

Isn't he their only pilot? They only have like 12 people left.

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe
Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye"
Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

nice one

I honestly don't know whether i should believe you because this is pants on head retarded.
>Bad guys who are militaristic tells you to fuck off and abandon the government
>Group themselves with other militaristic guys with access to a massive arsenal
>Instead of seeing that they would obviously start an insurgency, the Senate dissolves its own military
Not even a kid would be so naive.

It's okay, they have Rey which is all anyone could need.

Imagine penning this fanfiction-tier nonsense and then getting a cheque big enough to go put a down payment on a Malibu house.

This shit is hilariously stupid. It would've actually made more sense if the empire was going against the established republic. It just doesn't make any fucking sense otherwise.

Have you met people irl who like NuWars?

I do. Its insane. And they get offended when I say I don't like it.

It's very strange.

How could I forget? Forgive me.

They needed to have the underdog versus massive force just like in the OT

All it takes is the right (((connections)))

Why is Nu Wars so Soulless

Why would anyone want to oppose the first order and support rebels again? The rebels failed miserably now, twice.

>I honestly don't know whether i should believe you because this is pants on head retarded.

starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Military_Disarmament_Act
C A N O N
A
N
O
N

Fukin kek. How did I miss this?

People crave religion. They've been conditioned to view properties like this as a relgion.

Disney

I honestly want to murder people when I see this shit

Because it's made by Disney and nobody involved has any interest in actually making good movies

Lahey, you're so fucking drunk you wandered into a Star Wars thread. Fuck off, you Kermit the Frog looking motherfucker.

Attached: 69871841_2419007571651693_2577789918805753856_n.jpg (320x320, 21K)

this time period is soulless for entertainment media (games, movies, etc) almost everything made within its time frame is soulless.

Combination of laziness (ripping every single thing off from older movies) and open disdain for the fans.

sounds like you're motivated

You got the quote wrong and it doesn't even appear in the actual movie.

Lol incel, guns make loud noises that scare me I mean theres even a part called a TRIGGER, guns have to go. Only the police I constantly accuse of being racist and evil should have guns.

Criminally underrated

Star wars died in 1943

Reminder: The entire "Light" metaphor is Jewish Occultism.

The reason the new Star Wars sequels are such utter fucking trash is that it's all Jewish Occultist metaphors and bullshit (mixing white feminine with BLACK masculine, etc).

Lord of the Rings = Christian White European morality and spirituality.
Star Wars Sequels = Jewish Occultist Secular Earth-Magic.

Are the resistance too smart to win the war?

Wait they tried to fight the fire? But I thought the fire was good.

Is this Naked Lunch

They really took a shit on Mon Mothma’s character didn’t they

>We are the bounty hunter that'll hire another bounty hunter that'll hire a robot that'll hire some bugs to assassinate the First Order

>We are the friction that will generate the heat that'll make the spark that will reach the desired flashpoint that'll be sufficient to ignite fire, that will generate the flames that'll combust the organization that we'll call the first order.

Attached: 1567356606196.jpg (808x767, 48K)

Very clever, they destroy traditional religion and replace it with their own.

Pfft whatever with that trainwreck.

Incredible

>We are the phosphorus that strikes the spark that lights the match that combusts the braaap that ignites the charcoal in the hibachi on the back patio of the Jedi Academy.
>Of hope.

Sounds like you are the spark that will light the match that will start the pilot light that will ignite the boiler that will burn the house down that will start a forest fire that burns this shitty franchise down.

Based and Redpilled. People are inherently tribalistic, if you remove the things they usually rally around (religion/nationalism) all they have left is brands

Star Wars madlibs?
wooden dowel
dilate
festering wound
kill
trannies

>the Resistance's ace pilot
He's a trigger happy flyboy and the last thing we need.

Attached: Holdo1.jpg (704x960, 125K)

Attached: 1513563193967.png (1902x547, 721K)

Attached: images (2).jpg (259x194, 5K)

Once they will burn down the first order will the remaining survivors of said order somehow manage to make another order to somehow have the abilty to topple the current republic in power ?

>>You're right. We're battered, we're beaten, our flame has dulled. But we're still burning.
You just outdid a professional writing team, how do you feel?

niggers nigger nigger nigger nigger

We are the molecule that facilitates the combustion that enables the charring that furthers the burning of the fuse that activates the first of many fiendishly clever mouse-based contraptions which will eventually ignite the ... the thing.

Calling the nuwars writers a professional writing team is a stretch

*2005

Yeah because apparently the republic keeps disbanding their military.

No, they wrote that into the supplemental material because the movie didn't have an explanation but needed the good underdogs versus the evil omnipresent fascist faction.

Aren't English-speakers supposed to use "which" instead of "that" in this type of sentence?

>Star Wars Episode X
>The Second Order has risen, The New New Republic is under attack, Rey has disappeared, etc.

Do you think they'll make Rey drink alien titty milk?

>we are the lube that'll ease the butt pain that'll curl your toes that'll make daddy spill his cummies on your back
powerful...

I haven't watched Disneywars, but was it ever explained how everything that luke & co. did to defeat the empire and bring peace to the galaxy was completly undone in 2 or so decades?

Was the “Populist” party really anti blaster in a galaxy filled with criminal overlords and deadly creatures? I never finished Bloodline.

Attached: FO destroyer.jpg (800x420, 70K)

"Who talks first?" - This is the single greatest and most powerful line in the entire saga

>The song tells the nonsensical story of an old woman who swallows increasingly large animals, each to catch the previously swallowed animal, but dies after swallowing a horse. The humour of the song stems from the absurdity that the woman is able to inexplicably and impossibly swallow animals of preposterous sizes without dying, suggesting that she is both superhuman and immortal; however, the addition of a horse is finally enough to kill her. Her inability to survive after swallowing the horse is an event that abruptly and unexpectedly applies real-world logic to the song, directly contradicting her formerly established logic-defying animal-swallowing capability.

I'd have sex with her

no it's super vague. the political situation in the new trilogy is totally undeveloped and confusing. The movies clearly do not want you thinking about the context of this war AT ALL.

>not 'STOP HOLDING MY HAND'

kino
pitch your scripts to kikewood now

farmers
buy
brothel
sell
tomato and tobacco seeds Homer uses to create ToMacco with the help of the plutonium Lenny sent him from work.

>we are the idiots that didn't understand the point of a pretty simple scene in a family film

fucking lol

If by alien titty milk you mean black bull jizz, then yeah.

Lindsay Ellis has a great video on this youtube.com/watch?v=XAVeyXwy3BE

Damn didn't realize vorefags had been around for so long.

Laura Dern? Yeah.
Amylin Holdo? What the fuck is wrong with you.

>Lindsay Ellis
No thanks.

Damn sounds amazing, I'll be sure to buy tickets for my wife's son and I.

She'll jerk off a horse.

you're on Yea Forums. you have no standards. watch Lindsay.

>why didn't she just sleep in a room without a window?
>why did the robot not just shoot her through the window?
>why did the woman assassin not just snipe her from a distance through the window?
>why didn't fett just shoot her through the window instead of hiring the assassin? isn't he an assassin?

>family film
you mean the one where anakin kills 'all of them, even the women and the children' after it's implied his mother was raped and tortured

Baby murderer

Don't forget to leave your wife(male) in the bullcare while you enjoy the kino.

They are professional. It's their job and they get paid for it.
Professional does not necessarily mean they're good.

They deserved Starkiller base laser as retarded as it was implemented in Episode 7

This was also written by women and feminists tho

We are the gamers that will inspire the downtrodden that'll rally the world to RISE UP down.

Of course I fully support my wife(male) having alone time with her friends Jamal, Chad and Tyrone. What do I look like a jealous incel?

>he doesn't know about Nu Wars canon

>>why didn't she just sleep in a room without a window?
Who the fuck makes a bedroom without windows? (A shitty architect, that's who.) And she's a fucking princess, she's not going to sleep in a broom closet
>>why did the robot not just shoot her through the window?
Because the female assassin had been given very specific instructions on how to "kill" her
>>why did the woman assassin not just snipe her from a distance through the window?
See above
>>why didn't fett just shoot her through the window instead of hiring the assassin? isn't he an assassin?
Because he didn't actually want her dead. Congrats on proving you're too stupid to understand star wars

Oh for sure, if Disney makes another sequel trilogy. Can't try anything new

Brands, political ideologies, websites, etc.

How many time was "teh spark" said in the move? I remember the opening crawl and either Leia or the purple tranny saying it too.

It's weird how they're portrayed as the underdogs when they're the ones in charge. The first order are the rebels. It should have been a dark inversion of the first trilogy, but instead they just grafted the original narrative onto the new tale, even though the empire was defeated.

Based and /trek/pilled

Attached: I count two disruptors mothafucka.jpg (4032x2373, 2.36M)

JJ was just keeping it simple "LIKE A NEW HOPE"

>We are the spark that'll light the fire that burns the First Order down
There I fixed it for you Rian

Didn't a Star Wars writer say they were just white supremacists?

>has a halo on her head
>destroys the SUPREMACY by crashing through it's RIGHT WING

POWERFUL
O
W
E
R
F
U
L

Based and Episode2pilled

The show must go on.

Obviously a better kind than the ones who write Star Wars. The kind that isn't as overt with their message and manages to sugarcoat it better.

"Right in the infinity stones"

They put a lot of stock in that clunker too, including it in the trailer. The fact that so many people had to think this was a good idea for it to happen is really disheartening.

Sissoko? Is that the dad of the footballer?

Attached: file.png (500x500, 297K)

Attached: 1554861228787.gif (344x426, 714K)

Where the fuck do you hide a gun like that in that outfit?
As subtle as getting bricked in the face. Only good thing she did was die at the end

>Chewbacca covers his eyes with his paws and whinces

Disney wants your sweet life essence.

youtube.com/watch?v=9hLowmoU5nU

Thankfully they didn't include
>Hope is like the sun.
>If you only believe in it when you see it, you'll never make it through the night

It's complete nonsense. If we take "the night" as "the darkest hour", metaphorically, then "believing in hope" carries no meaning. I don't need hope during "the day" when everything is fine. And I don't need to "believe in hope", I need to "hope for [my salvation] to happen".

>Because he didn't actually want her dead
He didnt? u have to excuse me, i never watched these movies, and my only knowledge of them comes from memes and funny youtube videos. I dont even know why he was trying to kill her, just that the weapons were larvae and Anakin hates sand

Why are the First Order called the First Order? Is there a first order they're following?

WOWIE ZOWIE!

Reminds me of Dadkwing Duck

Yes but what about the Second Order? The genius contingency of the First Order is that there being a First implies there will be future orders. I am wondering why the RESISTANCE in their infinite wisdom didn't consider this syntactical checkmate

You'd think something the size and mass of that star cruiser or whatever moving at hyperspeed would have enough kinetic energy to basically vaporize snoke's entire ship, not just cut it in half

Idk, not that it's the same thing, but Sonic Mania was developed by a group of super obsessed autistic fans and they made the most joyful and soul filled game in years. They merged new ideas with the classics and it was great.

He's there to lead the Jedi a paper chase to Palpatine's secretly commissioned clone army, which they reluctantly adopt to fight the Federation's droids and so give Palpatine more and more power.

No, the entire point was that it was a fake attempt to set in motion all the events of the film.
You shouldn't criticise films you haven't seen, it makes you look like an idiot

I am the terror that flaps in the night!
I am the spark that lights up the fire used to burn down the first order!
I am the itch on the butt of the empire that they can't scratch because they're in public!

>second order
That's not until episode 10

Based

>Let the Past die! Kill it if you have to!!!
Is pretty memorable though Infamous.

I can't believe these fucking clowns are ACTUALLY paid money to write trash like this. This would get you a B minus on a fifth grade writing assignment.

youtube.com/watch?v=YC7fD2FJXuk

Attached: jon pertwee 4.jpg (618x411, 68K)

I feel bad for Oscar Isaac, Poe Dameron could have been a cool new character

Poe is only alive because Oscar asked nicely, else they'd've written him out after the TIE crashes on Jakku.

>We are the spark that will burn the first order down

5th grader are taught about run-on sentences and structure. The prose is corny to begin with.

>we are the flint that will create the spark that'll light the fire that'll burn the fuse that'll set off the bomb that'll blow up the First Order

>This is how we win...

Yeah but the actual reason is that they wanted to downplay Finn's importance. if the movie leads ends up only Finn and Rey, then the audience would expect them to become romantically involvode and that was a no no for jew jew and KK. That's why they kept Poe a round, made a hint at a gay romance between them and made Finn a janitor and comic relief to show that he was way undder Rey's league.

>Where the fuck do you hide a gun like that in that outfit?
use your imagination

Embarrassing

this is why i hate wikipedia. no human being would ever find that explanation necessary.

>the audience would expect them to become romantically involvode and that was a no no for jew jew and KK.
Why isn't an interracial couple leading the attack on the evil nazis super progressive or some shit? Why would they be against it, unless they plan to make ray fall in love with a woman of color.

You don't know much about white feminists.

Remember when Admiral Tumblr considered it treason for her high ranking officers to dare ask her what the plan was or if she even had one?

lol, this. I thought Poe was being set up to become one of the new main characters, but instead he just got hustled off to be a scapegoat in the second movie.

hole up
you telling me this white boy using MY catch phrase
reparations!

Attached: 4L_giHquMIP.jpg (799x600, 171K)

>Why would they be against it, unless they plan to make ray fall in love with a woman of color.
Because strong women don't need no men.

muffuggin bix n00d dis starship whiteboi

Pow was in a time out and all out of goodboy points for his stunt earlier. He had no right to her tendies.

It was a black baby so it's fine.

Speak for yourself, faggot.

not as much as:
>That's how we're gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, but saving what we love.

I went to Midtown Comics today and decided to look for back issues for the General General Grievous one-shot, but all I could find were dozens of unsold Finn one-shots. It was actually really depressing.

I can feel the liberalism dripping off that quote

yoof

BASED tdc poster

>It was actually really depressing
I would have laughed out loud and taken a picture

If you kill your enemy's death star, they win.

At least if they were consistent with it. This happens a couple of minutes after Holdo sacrificed herself. Now they're saying it was all for nothing. KEK

George lucas tier dialogue

>A LITTLE REBELLION! Before he was a rebel hero, FINN had another calling. He was…a janitor. But how could this lead FN-2187 to question everything? How much action can someone see mopping floors and dealing with a pest problem? It turns out, a whole lot.

This is Star Wars now. Janitors.

Why don't they droids to clean the decks? Do they purposely make nigger janitors do that job to remember the old times?

>It's true all of it
>That's a question for another time

>You're right. We're battered, we're beaten, our flame has dulled. But we're still burning.
Much better. Acknowledges their crappy situation but also that they're still alive and active

Lol, he’s wearing Poe’s Jacket on the cover so I assume it takes place after TLJ. TFA was his first real deployment so other then combat training and cleaning shit not a lot of excitement to right a story about. The new General Hux comic from what I flipped through looks like a rando operation in the forest. They really should not be outsourcing the story to conics few people are ever going to read.

nice

Attached: 1559516766710.png (420x367, 245K)

God what an awfully clunky line.

TRAITOR!

Attached: First-Order-Riot-Control-Stormtroopers-1536x864-397036155406.jpg (1536x864, 235K)

>YUB NUB!
>SUG MAI DIG NUB!

Attached: Ewok-1441395870.jpg (800x632, 120K)

Based. Read that book to my boys last night.

Unironically women

Attached: 1560052364521.jpg (366x614, 36K)

Isn't that a Mosley quote?

Attached: Everyone loves Mosley.gif (302x173, 2.94M)

>we are the steel that will strike the flint that will create the spark that will light the fire that will burn the fuse that will set off the bomb that will blow up the First Order

Why does this stormtrooper all of a sudden wants to engage in a melee weapon fight??? They all have blasters!

Disney is at an all time high for incompetance

They couldn't write a character as based as Sisko.

you obviously have no sense of honour and aren't a real man

Attached: jbycdmys.jpg (259x194, 9K)

It's funny because they show Finn stab a ST in the back right before that guy shows up. A random ST has more honor than FInn.

no she's a fat hog. fuck off

sounds like something an american alt-right club would say

>"We are the spark which'll light the fire which'll burn the First Order down."
Yeah, much better.

>we are the steel that'll strike the flint that'll cause the friction that'll generate the heat that'll create the spark that'll light the fire that'll burn the fuse that'll set off the bomb that'll set off the chain reaction of smaller explosions that'll blow up the First Order.

Attached: 55cooovqqes21.jpg (1280x738, 63K)

Naah sisko is too likeable to be in nuwars

yes that storm trooper steals the show, he also wins that fight and gets killed by Han Solo... it's beautiful.

Attached: traitor.gif (300x300, 107K)

>Yea Forums is the tinder that is carried by Yea Forums into the forest of American culture where it is placed in the kindle bundle of memesmiths at which point the firestriker of /pol/ generates a spark which lights Yea Forums being the kindle that ignites the memesmith tinder bringing the forest of American Culture ablaze upon which the helicopters of cultural marxism will be called in to dump disinformation water upon the fire, but it will be too late

Attached: errol.jpg (2000x1334, 424K)

rewrite it, Yea Forums

Attached: D1AKS7RUwAAiDkl.md.jpg (500x281, 40K)

underrated

We are the spark that'll burn the first order down

>But JAKE...huwhat makes you think you can't eat JAMBALAYA during a BAAAASEBALL game?!
>OWWW!

Attached: sisko_1024x1024.jpg (819x1024, 180K)

"We will fuck the first order up yo"

God I love Sisko

He doesn't steal the show, it was awful, felt like a power rangers sequence, however he makes Finn looks like a bitch once again

>With this handy, diesel-fueled, helium-cooled, AI-controlled machine I save 20s every day buttering my toast

What did they mean by this?

Attached: Screenshot_1.png (800x730, 382K)

See...

no man,,, you are blind... why have you faggots lost all the power of abstraction?. A clear motive of that movie is to try to give some credit to storm troopers since the OT portrayed them as ridiculous clowns. You have a storm trooper as one of the main characters and you get beatiful stuff like the one who whooped finn.

A small spark burns the first order down. We are the light.

is this real??

>we are the echo that will bring down the avalanche on them

>is this real??
yes

From the resistance's only pilot, I think you mean.

>resistance wins in episode 7
>in episode 8 the first order is stronger than ever after losing their flagship hyperweapon and however many millions of troops and ships were stationed on it, and the resistance are on the run
It's like they didn't even try to have any semblance of consistency in their own stuff

we are the trannies that will destroy your beloved childhood franchise out of spite

Attached: IMG_20190817_0433592-1024x1024.jpg (1024x1024, 172K)

The sequels are anti-democracy. The sequel trilogy makes the the Alliance pure garbage.

Because the New Republic that the Alliance built? It refused to recognize the need of a free state to defend itself via a military force. Not even a standing army -- a military force AT ALL, standing or otherwise.

See, the prequels depicted representative democracy as a force for good easily corrupted by other interests but still the least bad form of government.

The sequels and the sequel-related EU portray representative democracy as a completely ineffectual power without even the temerity to defend itself, annihilated by fascism at the push of a button. Said fascism can then only be opposed by a militant force that operates on strictly authoritarian rules of its own, where disobeying rank makes you wrong even if you were tactically correct and any officer above your pay grade has the right to yank your chain as much as they want and still be hailed as a hero.

To be more direct with what I mean -- the sequel trilogy is NOT pro-democracy and is NOT pro-republic. Its political messaging is entirely totalitarian. The galaxy will either accept the burgeoning fascism of the First Order or whatever alternative the Resistance offers (which will, given Lucasfilm's known political leanings, likely be communist). The core message of the sequels is that democracy accomplishes NOTHING USEFUL, EVER, and violence is not the last resort of patriots defending liberalism but is simply the only true form of power or influence that will ever exist anywhere.

It's astonishing how hard they shoot themselves in the foot. They want women in charge yet consistently depict them as incompetent. The message doesn't become
>Women can do a good job
instead, it becomes
>Women will fuck up

Attached: Princess Leia screwed up.jpg (1080x1240, 133K)

Attached: 1567443405201.jpg (890x668, 373K)

To be fair, the very concept of a galaxy-spanning government with a single regime comprised of thousands of planets thousands of light years away from each other is utterly stupid to begin with, even if you have space magic, sorry advanced technology

SW was never too consistent about the details but at least they tried to keep the grand scheme of things somehow believable. If you let yourself get carried away by the movie, immersion worked and you easily forgot about unplausible details. Nuwars doesn't give a shit about immersion and insults the audience if they point out the obvious plot holes.

>the First Order
They are talking about you, incels. Have sex.

I can't even discern a political message in the sequels.

I'm pretty sure whatever combination of writers /algorithms/executives wrote the script for TFA didn't spend a single moment thinking about the political backdrop that resulted in the situation.

They just set up the same sort of scrappy rebel alliance vs. empire conflict as in the original trilogy and didn't bother explaining anything, because it essentially was the same story as a New Hope anyways.

I largely agree with that and would say it applies to capeshit as well which pushes for a thinky veiled totalitarian agenda.

They didn't think about that for even half a second. It was just "we need some space nazis who will obviously be the bad guys, and we need a ragtag group of rebels who will be the good guys, and we need a strong female hero and a black dude on a journey from villain to good guy, and lots of explosions"

>Why does this stormtrooper all of a sudden wants to engage in a melee weapon fight??? They all have blasters!
It's called honorable combat.

>honorable combat
>with a nigger

indeed, everything is 169% real on Yea Forums

I kinda agree. I'm not black but I'd find Finn offensive if I was black. The guy's a joke and his comedic relief ass gets kicked by everyone. What happened to stylish blacks like Lando? Lando's a character that's way better to represent blacks.

What's even the point of Captain Phasma? Like she was hyped up to be this sort of super badass woman warrior, and then she gets like 5 minutes combined screentime where all she does is getting her ass whooped by Finn
Like, if you're just going to design characters entirely to sell toys, at least don't pretend like they're actual characters with any relevance. Just make it a cute animal or a spooky alien monster or a killer robot or some shit

Don't forget how when he's about to actually do something and bring his character arc to a somewhat satisfying and heroic end, he gets cockblocked by a stupid asian chick and given the most idiotic line in the entire movie as justification. Because god forbid Finn would have his hero moment before they force zero-chemistry pointless interracial romance on the audience first

>muh first female villain
>they don't know EU including Ventress
The villians have no dignity. Kylo's a joke, Hux has none of Tarkin's cold and calculating presence, Phasma has no guts and gets forced to lower the Starkiller's shields before being thrown in the trash.

>A small spark'll burn the first order to the ground.
>Got a light?

>Blow that piece of junk OUT OF THE SKY

Since when does Disney feel compelled showing space nazis as honorable. Besides, after beating Finn he was shot by Han in a not very honorable way. So the ST are more loyal than Finn and Han? The truth about this stupid sequence is that they needed a scene where Finn is holding the lightsaber so that they can mislead us in the trailer. That scene was written solely as trolling material. Imagine doing that to Star Wars with a straight face.

Attached: britain-jj-abrams.jpg (750x499, 37K)

So you have this guy who has been training in the military since birth
He's gotten to know all of these other guys who were also kidnapped as kids and forced to become soldiers
This soldier has his morality questioned in combat, and he eventually decides to rebel against his superiors
You'd think he would
>be in more of a moral conflict going against everything he knows
>try to convince the other soldiers, soldiers that he knows went through the same thing he did, to join him
>show some hesitance about fighting his former companions
Instead he immediately starts celebrating when he switches sides and starts blasting his former coworkers to smithereens.
He never attempts to get through to any of them

You missed the part that he is essentially a slapstick idiot character played for gags the second he meets Rey and it just goes downhill from there

Attached: T3TEz0W_d.jpg (403x272, 12K)

I feel Kylo is the only somewhat interesting character, but yeah the other villains are a joke. Hux seemed okay for the role of exaggerated space hitler until they turned him into 100% comic relief punching bag in TLJ, and what's with Snoke? Who is he, where did he come from, how and why did he form the First Order, what are his goals, his ambitions, his motivations, WHO THE FUCK IS HE???

It's like Rian took a look at TFA and said "okay, I'm going to make literally all of this irrelevant and completely change where this story and these characters are going". Why didn't they put JJ in charge of the entire trilogy? It would still have been bad but at least it probably would have had some sort of consistency and continuity

All in all, Finn is just a terrible character

I like how he just happened to be a janitor on the super death star before he was promoted to stormtrooper. And I guess he happened to just casually find out how to destroy starkiller base while he was mopping the floor on level 31 or something.

Why do they still use human janitors anyway?

>we are the hand that will move the steel that will strike the flint that will create the spark that will light the fire that will burn the fuse that will set off the bomb that will blow up the First Order

What percentage of the people involved in the production of Star Wars do you think realizes how shit it is? Do you think that percentage is higher in certain departments or relatively consistent overall? I suspect a lot of the writers believe they're actually producing quality films but you never know.

>hunts down rebels
>goes apeshit on traitors
>decimates an entire planet
>assassinates senators
checks out

Attached: uniform.gif (250x190, 821K)

all in all, all the characters in ep 7 and 8 are terrible characters

well its Hollywood so maybe 1% know it's shit and the other 99% just circle jerk each other and pat each other on the back exclaiming how great it is

*1977

lol they are still standing behind that awful line?

holy fuck the absolute state of star wars fags oh no no no no no

Attached: 'starfleet is not a military organization'.jpg (630x472, 42K)

Agreed.

I'm not mad not at Disney's "Pandering", I'm at their incompetence.

>Star Wars EPX
>REY HAS VANISHED
>the New New Republic falls to yet another clone of Sheev’s empire
>the Empire will always survive in some shape or form
>the Jedi failure cycle continues forever
Sheev always wins baby

Attached: Sheev laugh.gif (480x262, 2.92M)

>It is vital we demilitarize our government so that a galactic war cannot happen like this again
How does a person come up with a line as retarded as this? How do you not realize the degree of stupidity in what you're saying?

KK doesn't care about minorities. They depict them as inferior and needing the white female Rey to save them. They don't see them eye-to-eye or think of them as people with their own wants and goals, they see them as inferiors who need their enlightened guidance and need to be told what's good for them instead of considering what the minorities say.

Attached: White-Guilt-1024x682.jpg (1024x682, 800K)

Well la dee dah mr. Pulitzer.

And what is the resistance resisting? They're not revolutionaries, they're cooperating with the republic. They're the status quo.

>thread full of British Star Wars fans

Is there anything worse?

>mfw they were a pizza company wanting you to order their product

Attached: First Order Pizza.png (1902x854, 1013K)

how can you tell they're british

>Third Reich
>name alone acknowledges there being previous Reichs
>First Order
>by implying they're First, they imply there's no previous Order
>shitting all over the Old Republic, New Republic AND even the Galactic Empire
>First Order is actually disrespectful of every previous government

Attached: Consider the OHOHOHO.jpg (1280x720, 136K)

The line doesn't even make sense. He was conscripted.

Even the new negress is like a primitive race, they have bowcasters and horses in a galaxy where there are spaceships and lightspeed travel. This is white feminism for you, they use minorities as canon fodder against white men. At the end of the day it's about white female supremacy, and they despise minorities as much as your average alt-right supporter, except that they pretend being on their side. it's all about creating division and confusion. It's not surprise white women are the biggest recipient of affirmative action, yet they are the most vocal against it because it's perceived as gibs for minorities. Truly white women are the jews of gender, crying in pain as they stab you deep in the heart.

Attached: ww.jpg (549x565, 46K)

she looks bored

Reminds me of what some here say about Wakanda's aesthetics, social customs and more.

will these movies end his career? I know daisy and boyega are fucked because they never had much of one to begin with but kylo and poe actually have decent resumes and acting abilities

Adding to the other user's disbelief, wtf is that self-redundant name?

>Lando's a character that's way better to represent blacks.
Finn is more accurate.

>"that'll" twice in the same sentence
They really aren't even trying anymore.

based

There's absolutely no evidence in the film that Jango was trying to "not really assassinate" Padme. If you think the prequel's plot made sense you must also believe in 9/11 conspiracy theories.

First order: I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

>look they all dress in tribal clothes and shit and they perform ancient rituals and they have this tribal hierarchy and whatnot!
>but oh wow they also possess the most advanced tech and most brilliant scientists in the world!
>and they are also so peaceful and respectful and nice and noble!
>aren't these africans nice??
black panther is honestly pathetic with its handling of the racial theme

>the entire story of the film only coincidentally makes sense, it's actually really stupid though if you ignore everything that isn't spelled out very slowly

Fuck everyone in these movies. the casting is horrible between those who can't act their way through a paper bag, those who don't fit the character and those who are butt ugly. One thing thing that made the originals a classic is that George took the casting seriously. KK is a fraud who picked the actors based on race, gender and whatever agenda she was seeking. I also suspect Adam Driver had to slep with her.

>have we started the fire
>yes, the flint that will light the spark that will light the fire that will...

The weird mish mash of African cultures is pretty amusing. I guess cultural appropriation is ok if you're an American black

>Renaming the Rebel Alliance to "The Resistance"
Was this for any reason other than FUCK DRUMPFFLSTILTSKIN?

>Traitor!
>It's salt

One thing that makes no sense is that that fucking blue goo does all the work, yet they tell us the young negress is the brain behind the technology. Just make up your mind faggots.

is this a joke?

It doesn't make sense because the entire plot hinges on every single character acting the exact way that Palpatine wants because "the Force." George Lucas wrote these scripts at the last minute!

This is ultimate my complaint with feminism in the writer's room.
Just be subtle for fucks sake. Stop writing like a high schoolers fanfic.

lmfaoooo thanks for summer camp memories rushing back into my face

I mean it's a fucking superhero film for children and manchildren, you're an idiot if you expect a hard-hitting critique of race relations.

based

>hair dye in Star Wars
This is by far the worst thing about Nu Wars

Maybe you should stop watching pop culture trash

Would you like to go bowling with your cousin too?

>Pizza Destroyer can take out all of the rebels with ease
>Poe saves the entire fleet
>Gets reprimanded and demoted
I will never understand this film at all

>syntactical
Neat word desu. Will be adding this my vernacular.

This of all things convinces me it's a shitshow of diversity hires and racist pricks who just want to hit the PoC quota
no real competent director/writer would let that dumb line slide

These women have no talent they get hired because they belong to the same feminist circles, they're all white privileged cunts with rich parents desperately looking for things to bitch about. They have no life experience, never had a day of struggle, all they know is their gaping vagina. Why do you expect quality from this crowd?

Attached: 1555698883291.jpg (302x429, 72K)

Someone actually wrote this and thought it was good

Don't forget they choose their king with a fight to the death

>restore a spark of hope
wat

>We are the fire that’ll burn the First Order down
There, now it doesn’t sound like shit.

The fact that people can still dredge up emotional responses to this hollow nu-wars crap is honestly baffling to me.

>We are the spark that will ignite the suicide vest that will blow up the First Order. ADMIRAL ACKBAR!

*inhales zealously*
ahem,

WE ARE THE GODS OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER
WE ARE THE SOLDIERS
THE LEGION OF LIGHT
WE ARE THE CENTER
THE DEATH OF THE SUN
FIRE AND FLAME
WE ARE ONE

Attached: A2D50C71-E61A-472E-8D10-2B04E32FA33A.jpg (400x518, 77K)

100 fucking percent this. People try to read into the plots and motivations and reasoning behind the new trilogy but in the end it's all basically a transparent nostalgia-mining marketing scam. There is zero passion or vision behind this shit.

all I want is something that's not the noble savage trope on steroids for the sake of pandering to virtue signaling progressives looking to write blogposts and articles about how important and necessary and refreshing black panther's take on race is

>we are the butane canister that will fill the lighter that will spark the fire that will burn the first order

B A S E D

Meanwhile in the old canon the new republic built a new generation of warships, even a fucking mon calamari super star destroyer.

All I can think of is that chimp going
>WOOOOO

If someone had told me ten years ago that George Lucas would soon give up the reins of Star Wars and his successors would go on to shit out a sequel trilogy so embarrassingly awful that it somehow made the prequels look decent in comparison, I would have laughed in their face.

Attached: 1567688037053.jpg (905x675, 102K)

No it doesn't. The characters all act pretty predictably and naturally. There are no story leaps that defy logic. The closest I can think of is Palpatine's arrest in ep3, but that can easily be resolved as Sheev making the best of the situation he was in which he wasn't expecting (yet)

wtf is that'll

>Why didn't they put JJ in charge of the entire trilogy?

If you believe the rumors, he had a lot of conflicts with Kennedy and that was partly why he decided not to direct the next ones, at first.

Not him but what was Palpatine's plan in TPM? Was it to get the Queen to actually sign the treaty or was that just a sham to get her to the senate to use her against Valorum? If it's the latter that's an awful lot of convoluted variables that have to go exactly right, and I wonder why then did he did send Darth Maul after them when they escaped and again when they return to Naboo. As far as I can tell the movie couldn't seem to make up it's mind whether it's all keikaku or the Jedi and the Queen are actually interfering and must be dealt with.
Same with AOTC. Were Obi-Wan and the Jedi meant to discover the clone army or did they blunder into it and cause the war to start early?

If they told you it would be Disney shitting out bad movies, would you have believed that? Honestly, I'm not sure I would have. Disney seemed to have the "family movie" market on relative lock at that point, especially with the acquisition of Pixar. The sequels to Pixar's movies had done really well at the box office and been generally well received by critics. I would have figured Lucasfilms would have enough talent plus the limitless Mou$ebux and the sequels would be fine. Maybe not great, but fine. Boy oh boy, I would have been wrong.