I’m going to kill myself tomorrow

hire the mexican pitbull

FIRE

This is one of my favourite scenes in a movie and I don't even like Weswhimsy Anderson

>"I'm going to kill myself tomorrow"
>Proceeds to kill himself 5 seconds later

What did he mean by this?

You too?

They are. Exit bag filled with helium is memed for a reason friend.

It means he's a weak-willed faggot that can't commit to his plans.

Suicide by cop

He was talking to his barber, Tom Orrow

I'm white

IF you're serious, go somewhere far away from anyone you care about. If you kill yourself in your home or anywhere near the people you care about, they'll have to clean up and you'll seriously wreck the property value.

IF you want to die fast, shoot yourself in the head. Fast, cheap, painless.

Think about safety and clean up first. Make sure there's no chance of hurting anyone else with the bullet. Get a tarp, lay some plastic down. Blow your fuckin' mind champ and enjoy eternity.

Now that that's out of the way, don't fucking do it dude. Shit's a bad idea. Whatever it is that you're afraid of, or whatever pain you're facing, I promise you eating a bullet is the wrong move. Whatever is making your life bad enough that you think death is better, just remind yourself that death is the alternative and behave like it. If you're lonely? Go talk to chicks/dudes. What's the worst that could happen? Rejection? Fuck that, you were about to kill yourself, remember? Just do it. Want to lose weight? Dieting is nothing compared to facing your own mortality. Eat a fucking salad and run champ, you almost died. Dick too small? Buy a dildo and learn to love giving oral. In crazy amounts of debt? Leave the fucking country.

You think you're at the end of things, but the truth is you've just given yourself a fucking open ticket to doing whatever the fuck you want.

Don't. You'll miss out on some kino.

He's taken off a shoe and it looks like he's crying

This guy gets it.
Once it clicked that I only have one life on this Earth, I started living my second life.

>open duckduckgo
>search "painless suicide"
>???
>profit
The one who is both cheap and painless, is Carbon Monoxide Inhalation. You will just get dizzy and fall sleep, dying while sleeping. Either make fire in a clsoed space like a bathroom, or redirect the car smoke to the inside of it while all the holes are taped. Unless you have asma, it is not painful.

Tell Satan I'm eager for him to fuck my boipussy

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You don't have a second life, loser. Have some balls to admit that you're just chicken to take your own life. That gibberish about 'muh second life' is just pathetic

Dont kill yourself bros
You get over it eventually

Shaving my hair before trying to commit suicide was an interesting time. It's funny because in the time it took my hair to grow again I didn't see a single person, so nobody knows I did it.

>concern for property value ahead of "don't do it" speech
Based homeowner

dumb take
death is not an 'alternative', it's an inevitability
the only choice is either now, fast and relatively painless
or after 40 more years of wageslaving, eating shit and only getting fucked by life; old, sick and pissing yourself

Jesus Christ dude, OP could slit his wrists with that edge.

It's a little corny but that's kind of uncalled for

where did you hide for months?

you forgot making everybody pay, aka the secret ending

>12:59 PM?

h-haha what an edgelord, am i rite guys?

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It's complicated.

According to this chart it's a shotgun blast to the face.

Remember kids: If you only have a pistol, remember to fill your mouth with water before you wrap your lips around a glock.

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>making everybody pay
>secret ending
Naw, bitch. That's the cuck ending. The real secret ending is living for yourself. If you were gonna off yourself anyway just fuck bitches and do whatever the fuck you want. Taking shit out on others doing shit you're too chicken shit to do is maximum cuck.

>If you only have a pistol, remember to fill your mouth with water

I've heard this before, but I still don't know what's up with that. Does it have anything to do with pressure or something?

sorry you'll never unlock the blaze of glory achievement. no one should die alone

Cool.. do a backflip

Youre putting it off and wont end up doing it. Like everything else in your life. because youre pathetic.

>ur a coward if u dont commit suicide
lmaoing at you my man

Nah, the water will stop the bullet enough that you dont die, like Fight Club. You will then realise that life is just a game and its all good. Cheers

>Jump from height

yikes

I was always imagining killing myself by drowning while drunk

Rent a boat. Going really far out in the ocean. Light the boat on fire if possible. Then jump in the water and shoot your brains out with a gun. If for any reason the shot fails, you will drown. Additionally, the ocean will take care of your corpse so there will be no need for a damn funeral.

Noo don't kill yourself you so sexy haha

Everything is a distraction until you die. Religion is the most intoxicating of all distractions because people will abandon all semblance of logic and reason they are drunk on the false hope of an afterlife. But don't fool yourselves. You get one shot at life and if you decide to call it quits take solace in the fact that you won't live to regret it.

I love you. Come visit me.

kek

you write like my gay ass brother

Hey bro, you just saved my life

It's crossed my mind here and there but I feel like I could never commit to necking myself.

>now you got an open ticket do what you want :D
depression sadly doesnt work like that

#wow #whoa

hope you've got a license for that m8

This. I'm not a fan either, but it's really compelling, the music is perfect for it.