Any chance of this being good?

didnt they turn butler into a nigger?

Read these as a kid. All I remember is the first book being pretty good and a reverse Die Hard, and that I really wanted Artemis and Holly to fuck because they had such great chemistry.

Not a chance. Disney probably had zero confidence in this, that's why they're so quiet about it and keep pushing back the release date. I would be more optimistic about Le Irish Shakespeare Man directing if he hadn't sold his soul to the mouse years ago.

if the dwarf can dislocate his jaw and create tunnels and shit out the dirt how do they follow him in the tunnels??

I stopped reading the series at book 4. Do Artemis and Holly ever fuck?

Yes

He was Samoan in the books right? In my kid head I always pictured him like the agent guy from lilo and stitch

Central asian iirc

Yes

Cool

The first book was the only one I genuinely liked as a kid. The appeal of it was that it's a cynical anti-fairy tale with a self aware sense of humor, and the other books just got too conventional as they went on.

I don't understand who's the audience for this movie. It missed the window by like 19 years.

I guess they assumed the kids who read it now also have kids so they’ll go watch with them

lol

>Had the secret code from the second book memorised
>Used to exchange messages with my friends using this code
Working out the code in each book with my friends was my favourite part about that series

It was in development hell for so long that it's kind of pointless to make now. I remember reading casting rumors for this a decade ago.

The only memories I have of Artemis Fowl was trying to check out one of the harry potter books at my school's library as a kid but it was always checked out and the librarian recommend one of these books instead saying it was the same thing. It was shit and I never read any of the potter books either cause I thought they'd be shit to and just read animorphs instead.

No
>Holly is a kid and white
>Root is a woman
>Butler is a nigger
Each of these choices are garbage and don't even make sense in terms of diversity casting given that the books already had
>Holly having brown skin
>Root being a man to drive home how difficult it was for Holly being the first female Recon officer
>Butler being Eurasian

I always imagined him as Agent 47 from Hitman.

This. He even looks similar to him on the cover of book 3

God the thought of a 12 year old boy going balls deep in a 90 year old smol brown elf is hot as fuck

Why did media in the early-2000s compare everything to Harry Potter? Even Lemony Snicket.

Probably because it was by far the biggest thing in children's fiction

No.
It will be Disney's Mortal Engines.

That's cute

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They don't fuck.

>read these books in 6th grade
>no friends until high school
glad you had fun user

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no

god dammit can't they cast anything fucking right for once
i only read a couple of these books and while i didn't really care for them that much it still pisses me off how they have to go ahead and change shit like that.
FUCK DISNEY

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NO!

Black Butler and Female Root literally ruined at least 2-3 subplots and one characters arc. The story is FUCKED.

My girlfriend in high school caught me reading one of these and laughed at me and called me a faggot. I'm 24 now and I still contend that Artemis Fowl is a book for "young adults", not just solely for kids. There's literally nothing wrong with me reading these books in my 20s.

Holy shit based GF