>I lied, Luke. Your father wasn’t a good friend. He massacred an entire classroom of Jedi younglings and attempted to kill me. Here’s his lightsaber. Go away.
I lied, Luke. Your father wasn’t a good friend...
Dylan Hall
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Camden Sanchez
Luke, did I ever tell you about Order 66 cookies? The Emperor was so sick and twisted in his evil, that he commemorated the deaths of thousand of Jedi with a treat that was described by an imperial officer as as "crunchy" and having a "delightful aftertaste." The packaging was colored white with a clear side on them showing the cookies inside, and had the number "66" printed above the clear side, as well as the name of the product up on top, both written in Aurebesh. Stormtrooper TK-555 was personally responsible for counting and packaging the cookies. He was a good friend, until Order 66 of course
Jason Garcia
>You should have seen me, Luke. I did some many standing backflips. I once cut a man clean in half in the timed-laser-gate corridor. I even wore the same sandy desert attire I wear today despite being a stranger to this planet - we all did.
Landon Garcia
What's it like to have a good friend?
Luke Powell
>Luke, have you heard about breasts?
Nolan Kelly
"What? Your mother? Uh...hey, I'm late for a meeting, talk to you later, Luke"
>Obi Wan leaves and Luke finds Padme's nudes in Obi Wan's drawer. Obi Wan comes back unexpectedly and finds Luke jacking off to Obi Wan putting his cock in Padme's ass. Awkward silence.
Connor Cox
>Did you ever hear the story of the high ground?
Jordan Gutierrez
>Luke, have you heard about chairs?
Hudson Bennett
Someone post the Ashoka one
Alexander Evans
>Luke, did I ever tell you about the special Jedi Technique called "the high ground"? Once one has gained such a position the other must accept it is over.
Jacob Watson
Luke did I even tell you about Diet Coke™
starwars.fandom.com
Gabriel Kelly
Luke, did I ever tell you about Force Speed? It was an ability of the Force that allowed its user to increase his or her speed for a brief time.While aboard the Trade Federation starship Saak'ak, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and I used that ability to escape from droidekas. Despite having this amazing feat at our disposal, no Jedi was ever recorded using it before or after this event. In fact, there were several times where it would have gotten me and your father out of many a pickle!
Don't forget to use Force Speed in your adventures, Luke.
James Hill
He also didn't use it to rush in and help qui gon when he was fighting maul
Camden Lopez
Levi Campbell
>did I ever tell you about Dexter Jettster and his half price margarita tuesdays?
Ayden Martin
Nathaniel Smith
>Luke did I ever tell you about your grandmother? she was captured by sand people, they raped her in single-file as to hide their numbers
Connor Bennett
no see, they all were using it the entire fight
it was just slowed down for the audience's benefit
Angel Flores
He could jump
Parker Anderson
He would have but he was 2 skill points shy of acquiring "force speed" bc his build was so focused on "force ground - high"
Asher Sanchez
He did it earlier in the movie
Joshua Flores
That "no panties in space" is a legit reference to George Lucas giving Carrie Fisher a line trying to get her to not wear a bra
Ayden Jones
How come good guys use lightning in new movie?
Luis Williams
Heh
Charles Allen
He must have rejiggered his allocations at a save point...
Andrew Johnson
>Luke, I was your mother’s close platonic friend.
Colton Robinson
Luke, did you ever hear about the ancient Jedi text “Back to the Rancors”? I’ve included one of the pages for your training
Jose Hernandez
What the fuck are you talking about?
Nathan Torres
Yoda used lightning in new movie
Lucas Cruz
There was a good guy version of force lightning in the EU.
Brandon Wright
>it was ridiculous, like a constant porno, Luke, you have no idea
Gets me every time. I swear there was a vocaroo of dude reading this in a flawless old Ben voice with mystical music in the background
Jacob Wood
Found it
youtu.be
Nathan Butler
LUKE! NOT THAT BRIDGE!!!
Austin Hill
Luke, did I ever tell you about Chuck? It's not a story the jannies would tell you. Chuck was a shopkeeper so powerful, he could manipulate the sneedichlorians to suck and fuck. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his shop, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice sucked and fucked him in his sleep. Ironic, he could suck and fuck others, but not himself.
Nathan Reyes
Lol thanks. It Ben really is the meme that keeps on giving.
Nathan Nelson
None of the new people know anything about Star Wars.
Levi Campbell
>how about that Leia huh Luke? Now there's a tight piece of ass