ITT: times you acted like the jokester

People give out their snapchat now not their number you LARPing boomer

Holy shit BASED

>didn't add you on facebook
She doesn't really care about you, user.

>>out drinking with some guys
>>we travel to next place by van
>>im the youngest one so they throw me in the back alone
>>see a bunch of tools

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>be me
>shopping at walmart
>getting some produce
>move a lime into the lemons pile

AFTER ALLLL ITS ME, AND THE KING, AND THE BEEEAAST

>A tranny tells me to go back to /pol/
>I don't
I USED TO RUUULLE THE WORLD

>penis inspection day at school
>penis inspector unzips my pants and out comes a little flag with the word bang on it sticking out my pee hole

>go on Yea Forums
>post images of frogs

I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EYES

Are those reebok or nike?

youtube.com/watch?v=BQ4c54rCJ_k

>go on 4channel
>call it Yea Forums
EEEH EEEEH AHHH EH OH

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Who still uses goybook?

>Don't have a girl to take to Prom
>Ha Ha user why don't you just take me
>Laugh at her joke and end up not going to Prom
>Realize years later that she actually did want me to take her to prom
GOT A LIGHT SKIN FRIEND LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON
GOT A DARK SKIN FRIEND LOOKS LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON

times you acted like joker baby?

>me at high school party
>never invited so first party
>never drank so first beer
>find cute girl but shes talking to douche
>get nervous, use the restroom and find make up kit
>remember how cool the joker is
>put on make up and smear lip stick over my mouth
>come out and approach qt saying wanna know how i get these scars?
>guy calls me a furfag and i start crying after he finds my joker fursona
>pass out and get molested by weird older guy at party
NOW IM ALWAYS SMILING

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>see a thread about times you acted like the joker
>dont post in it

ONE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
TWO
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
THREE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
FOUR
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
FIVE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
SIX
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
SEVEN
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
EIGHT
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
NINE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
TEN
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
ELEVEN
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME
TWELVE
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

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>mom bends over
>grope her ass
I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL

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>girl talks to me
>get an instant boner

BR BR DENG BR BR DENG

>be me
>reserved chill guy at work
>go to nearby market
>see a black cashier
>find slim jims
>find paper party crowns
>grab other random things
>arrange my items on the checkout line so they spell out ‘Jim Crow’
>leave the store giggling

HELLO MY FRIEND WE MEET AGAIN

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>go to pee
>finish
>girlfriend says to wash my hands
>turn on the water but don't put my hands in at all

WELL IT WOULDA BEEN, COULDA BEEN WORSE THAN YOU WOULD EVER KNOW

>be thinking
>have negative thoughts
ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI JUST A PEPSI

>be 24 years old
>never had sex
I PUSH MY FINGERS INTO MY EEEEYYYYEEEEES

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>Cross the street before the light says for me to go
>sometimes I just stand in the middle of the street for a while
WERE BUILDING IT UP
TO BURN IT BACK DOOOOOOOWN

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>be at store
>cashier asks "paper or plastic?"
>i say both
DOWN WITH THE SICKNESS

>Dating QT
>She's going to the prom with her gay best friend.
>Tell him to drop her off at my place afterwards so I can fuck her.
>Limo pulls up and drops her off after prom.
>Fuck her than tell her I have to work tomorrow so she can't speed the night.
>Kept her panties and occasionally wear them on my head.

>girls checking me out in a public place
>i ignore them

YOU DONT OWN ME IM NOT JUST ONE OF YOUR MANY TOYS

I always post cunny here and on v, always with the Spanish royal family as op

>got to pee
>go into handicap stall
>dont even poop
I'M UNFORGIVEN

>see black girl in store
>noticeably stare at her butt to the point it makes her uncomfortable
>get home and post about how I hate black people
DARKNESS IMPRISONING ME
ALL THAT I SEE

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This shit would make me fall out if i saw it actually happen

>free sample platter at Costco
>leave behind a dollar
HAAAAAAAIIIIIL TO THE KIIIIIIIIIING

God damnit..

>acknowledge it
>make a move (optional)
>go to jail for sexual harassment

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>ordered two double cheese burgers from McDonalds
>lady at the window gives me the two double cheeseburgers AND A COKE
>pull away slowly

HEY NOW UR AN ALLSTAR

>she cant Speed the night
What? Why the FUCK no watch prime Keanu kino?

I think you're missing what is happening here.

Fucking coldplay - why did that make me laugh.

>post the coomer meme
>while masturbating
AND SUDDENLY IT CHANGES
VI-O-LENT-LY IT CHANGES

youtu.be/fA4E2SNv8Aw

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I literally cannot stop saying the nigger word

>make incel/pol/racist posts and threads every day
>I'm a registered black democrat

SUMMER TIIIIIME AND THE LIVINGS EASY

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>post on /pol/ with an EU flag shitposting against Americans
>I'm actually American myself
I FIND IT KINDA FUNNY, I FIND IT KINDA SAD

>Say burger education
>I'm a burger
Borrrrnnn in the USAAAA

>be me
>just finished shitting
>kick the door wide open
>people nearby starts staring at the scene I've caused
someBODY ONCE TOLD ME

>Endgame opening night
>already had read spoilers on Yea Forums, don’t give a shit about capeshit
>print spoilers and make several paper copies
>go to the kinoplex, there’s a line of people outside
>throw the spoilers at them while yelling “IRON MAN DIES, TIME TRAVEL PLOT, IRON MAN DIES, CAP MARRIES AGENT CARTER” at the top of my lungs
>sprint away

DON’T YOU JUST LOVE HALLOWEEN?

>reply to off topic garbage
>get banned from all boards
>easily evade
JANNIES GOT A GUN

>befriend an angry, young, 5/10 femcel
>spend a year convincing her #notallmen
>in an incredibly gesture of trust she sends me a couple of nudes
>immediately post them to Yea Forums

I DIDN’T KNOW IF IT WAS DAY OR NIGHT, I STARTED KISSIN’ EVERYTHING IN SIGHT
BUT WHEN I KISSED A COP DOWN ON 34th AND VINE HE BROKE MY LITTLE BOTTLE OF... LOVE POTION NUMBER 9

youtube.com/watch?v=xpKxtTPQ1Q8

sneed

during the Dark Knight my one bro pulled this crazy prank at this one theater and he was kind of like the Joker

>someone tells me to HAVE SEX
>don't

WINDMILL WINDMILL FOR THE LAND

>star in a big franchise once again
>bash my employer in public while getting paid

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>white girl cashier at PDQ repeats my order back to me and asks if I need anything else
>survey my surroundings to ensure there are no witnesses
>look her dead in the eyes and call her a nigger

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My sides.

>know that the line is "Party rockers in the house tonight"
>pretend that it's "party rockets" anyway just to confuse people

PARTY ROCKETS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT

>crossing guard says to look both ways before crossing
>I only look one way

EARTH ANGEL, EARTH ANGEL WILL YOU BE MINE

>times you acted like the jokester

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>go on no-fancy-dress cruise
>dress fancy

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I am you 224 days in the past

>keep saying racist and sexist things online, anonymously
>actually have tons of black friends and don't hate women

MAKING MY WAY DOWNTOWN

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ur ded weight

A real joker would have spelled "nigger"

>Going to the bathroom in a public toilet
>Piss all over the toilet and all over the toilet paper
>Open up the TP compartment and piss all over the spare rolls as well
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH

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>helping fat guy
>"sorry for the weight, man"
>oh no problem

I DID MY TIME

Cum on my hand
Just rub it into my hands instead of wiping it off
Go about my day

>shitpost on 4channel
>reply to myself so I can feel important
IM GONNA SWING FROM THE CHANDELIER

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based

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Fucking brutal

>feel a shit coming on
>hold it in cause it gives me butt pleasures
>hold too long and shit my pants, not wearing underwear
>keep sitting there another few minutes
>go finish shitting and wipe
>+1 hemorrhoid -1 pair of pants
IT'S BEEN ONE WEEK SINCE YOU LOOKED AT ME

>get drunk at bar
>see passable but kinda fugly girl
>make out at her apartment and fuck her without protection
>months later meet her at Starbucks
>she pregnant, pause
>what we do?
>not mine bitch
ALL THAT SHE WANTS IS ANOTHER BABY YAY YAY

>Be me
>Have one night stand with club slut
>Get a message on facebook weeks later
>Im pregnant user
>Delete all social media move 8 hours

You could say I'm theREAL JOKER BAY BAY

SHE LIVES A LONELY LIFE

that's pretty ......based

>be cashier at pdq
>just trying to get through the day
>suddenly an immensely fat neckbeard wearing a trenchcoat and fedora walks up to me
>i take his order and smile even though his breath makes my eyes water
>ask him if he needs anything else
>he looks at me with beady jaundiced eyes and mumbles out something i couldn't hear
>naruto-runs out of the store and trips over a mailbox crossing the street
>he never even collected his order

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She does, she's been a single mother living with her mother for the last years, got fat as fuck, meanwhile I deliberately work cash in hand so my income never reaches the taxable threshold so I don't have to pay that bitch any substantial sum of money.

Quit my job yesterday after receiving an internal promotion to it 6 weeks ago

>Write resignation letter to work
>Doesn't state reason for leaving
BOOM NAH DAH MMM DUM NAH EMA

Lol

Hamill really is based tho, fuck disney

>be me
>see "times you acted like the jocker" thread on 4channel.org
>start post with, "be me"
>despite not feeling much like myself lately
AH EEH
OOH AH AH
TING
TANG
WALLAH WALLAH
BING BANG

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>cashier tells me to be safe
>I don't adjust my mirrors or check blindspots
HOLD YOUR NOSE BECAUSE HERE GOES THE DAMN DIAPER

>Have to get an MRI of my cervical spine
>Swallow a handful of ball bearings before going inside

I'M THE DARK MESSIAH
>make incoherent bost in clown man thread
stinky poopy pee pee WEEEEE

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kek

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WHAT THE F HOOOOLY BASED AND REDPILLED X3 UwU

That didn't happen. There were no clowns on board. It was the reporter misunderstand a witness going 'some clown punched a guy', clown being 'some stupid person'.

> 6/10 girl on camping trip zips open tent and jumps on me
>roaring drunk so yell at her and insult her personally for waking me up
>so loud everyone hears and I insult my bro as well
>everyone awkward around me the next morning and I just half acknowledge it and play it off
>girl who I really liked probably now thinks I'm an alcoholic NEET with anger issues
I KNOW THE PIECES FIT CUS I WATCHED THEM FALL AWAY

When I killed Jason Todd.

>"Excuse me sir, there's no smoking on the premises."
>"AND?"
>Employee continues to stare at me waiting for me to put it out
>exhale a cloud of smoke in his face and flick the cigarette at him
>And walk away
I COULD BE MEAN I COULD ANGRY YOU KNOW I COULD BE JUST LIKE YOU.

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I USED TO THINK MY LIFE WAS A TRAGEDY
NOW I REALIZE, IT'S A COMEDY

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MILDEWED AND SMOLDERING

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redpill: the reporter understood but pretended not to to get clicks on their shitty website

Literally me.

>Watch the Sopranos
>It has plenty of attractive female characters
>Meadow, Adriana, Dr. Melfi, Gloria Trillo, even Carmella was pretty hot
>Masturbate furiously while fantasizing about Janice
YOU'RE MY LADY OF THE MOOORNING
LOVE SHINES IN YOUR EEEEYES

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>don't piss after sex
>get a uti
BACK IN BLACK

>at the public library
>move every volume of Das Kapital and Theories of Surplus Value from nonfiction to fiction
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR COTTON-EYE JOE

Good shout.

>Ticket ripper says "enjoy your movie!"
>I don't

I SEE NO CHANGES, ALL I SEE ARE RACIST FACES

>Be me at job
>Drink 9 bottles of Pepi
>Can go to the bathroom anytime
>Hold in piss anway
>10 hours later
>Some guy is driving me home
>Piss all over his seat

HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OUT OF HIMSELF

>Mom has her new boyfriend over
>Hear them having sex
>Start a small fire in the kitchen, setting off the smoke alarm and forcing them to run downstairs and deal with it

AND LIKE A SINNER BEFORE THE GATES OF HEAVEN I COME CRAWLING ON BACK TO YOU

>Driving
>Stop at redlight
>Nigger crossing the street
>Look him in the eye and Roll up the window
>He gets visibly upset but keeps walking
WHAT IF I WANTED TO BREAK
LAUGH IT ALL UP IN YOUR FACE
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

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>likes mentally unhinged slags
maybe you ARE the Jokester

FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERING

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>had very bad gas on a plane
>let some 7 year old kid sitting infront of me take the blame
>his parents took him to the bathroom because they thought he shit himself due to the smell
>lol on the entire walk back to the baggage claim his sister kept making fun of him over it

>those milkers

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>Driving in a town
>some hole crosses the street
>shes fat
>really fat
>wearing shorts
>speed up as she passes by
>she barely gets away

THE END OF THE WORLD DOESN'T COME SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING

>lady asks for my digits
>give her a piece of folded paper
>unfolds it and just stares at the outline of my hand

>qt girl asks me for my number
>give her a fictional 555 number right on the spot

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>work retail
>customer asks a stupid question
>fire the question back at him
>he gets mad and tells me to get the fuck outta there
LITTLE BLACK SUBMARINES OPERATOR PLEASE

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>You insulated me and my son

why yes, I am made of fiberglass. How could you tell?

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>go into Joker thread
>use fake song lyrics
I PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD, FEET OFF THE EDGE

the same thing happened to me but with a cute tomboy lesbian

except the last part of posting on Yea Forums

based femanon

>see a cringe post
>reply saying its based

OO WAH AH AH AH

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>filename
based

Cringe. Dilate.

>arrive to lecture 15 minutes late
>professor attempts to roast me in front of class with “Do you need anything? Like... a watch????”
>I clap back “actually, I could use a day off!” and bolt out the door

FEELIN’ LIKE A GUTTERSNIPE STANDING IN LINE
DECIDING HIS LIFESTYLE BY ROLLING THE DICE

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>go to a restaurant
>leave no tip
ALL OUR TIME HAS COME

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>Be me
>Go to store
>see black cashier
>calculate exact price for my items
>now the cashier will have to say: "14.88 please"
I WALK A LONELY ROAD THE ONLY ONE THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN

>free sample table at Costco says "take one"
>take entire tray
EVERYONE
EVERYWHERE
DANCE
OR FADE OUT

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>prepare to depart the eatery and pay for my meal with no tip
>see dismayed look on waiter's face
>"Looking for a tip? How about this?"
>pull up my XXXXXXL T-shirt to reveal my peepee sticking out the fly of my bluejeans

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I’m glad I’m out of the country so I don’t have to worry about getting shot by a retard like you

I SEE A RED DOOR AND I WANT TO PAINT IT BLACK
>reverse sentence order of my post to confuse people
>post in nice Joker thread

>post an obvious joke reply in a fun thread
>some sperg thinks it’s serious and gets triggered

AS WE SPEAK
A YOUNG MAN LOOSES HIS MIND
AS WE SPEAK
HE KILLS WHAT'S NEXT IN LINE
A BROKEN DOWN MOTHER ASK HERSELF WHY
IS THIS THE END OF HER PRECIOUS TIME?

kek

>go to restaurant alone at 3:00 PM
>ask to speak to the manager
>inform him that it's my birthday, and that I'd like the whole waitstaff to sing me a happy birthday song
>they start walking over, clapping and singing
>I leave mid-song without paying

RIVER RUNNING RIGHT ON OVER MY HEAD

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>sign says "take one"
>I take one
>then another
>and another
>and another
>"all gone!"
>*BUUUAAUUAURRP*

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Can somebody explain this meme

Holy fucking based

It’s pretty self-explanatory, you just post a story about committing some misdemeanor social mischief and then accompany it with edgy song lyrics.