Why aren't more kino set in this time period?

100% not

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sword_and_sorcery_films

No, he's admitted to roiding like a mofo. Still worked hard, but he also roided.

not but, he did work out like a motherfucker though.

Obviously not, are you retarded or something?

Yes he was not.

>gun kata with swords
how ridiculous can nukino get

Conan's setting is clearly based on the Bronze Age collapse

There must be some equivalent

archeologist here can confirm that european neolithic was fucking crazy and indeed high adventure

nope
its the middle neolithic with the rise of the sons of aryas being comming of the indoeuropeans
howard was way ahead of his time, replace steel with cooper and bronze you basically have something close to history
conan.fandom.com/wiki/Aryas
its still fantasy though

>guys, 138,000 years ago didn't exist

I love REH but he wasn’t that deep. He’s a historical fiction writer who didn’t want to do in-depth research anymore and lucked out on the Conan series being a huge hit.

Attached: 498464B3-D784-475D-A2B0-00663A4EA059.jpg (1895x1211, 865K)

How so?

Lol I thought that was George Costanza's head from the thumb for a second.

I hope this is real

Is this a joke?

'rise of sons of Aryas' is a pretty damn close coincidence to the coming of the indo-europeans. look at your map even, its clearly heavily modeled after the nations of antiquitiy and some of their geographical positions are even very similar.

bronze age collapse as the guy said would be a very good approximator

the hyborian age you fucking pleb.

yes, but the more we learn about the neolithic it does seem a bit like the "age of conan"
i'm doing a paper now on causewayed and no-causewayed enclousers in northern europe and atlantic europe(france, englad, iberia)
the people who built stonehenge and so on
judging by the findings at those sites there's reason to belive that some of them were fortified structures that was used as defense against attacks and some seem to be some occult places
findigs of human sacrifices (bog people) start to show up in the records, signs of attacks where entire groups of people where killed. there is a site in germany where a whole community was killed, the mens heads where smashed with clubs and stone axes while the women and children seem to have had their throats slit as no sign of trauma on the skeletons, violence during the time was hardcore and the introduction of metals

Got any book recs? Prehistory always seemed pretty dull to me, but the way you make it sound, it seems metal as fuck.

Sound like any other period in history before 20th century to be honest.

You're clearly a dumb nigger

The same kind of shit is happening even today in the 3rd world except the weapons are slightly more advanced.

Conan wasn't actually Howard's most successful series when he was alive. That was the tales of Breckinridge Elkins, an idiot mountain man, who tried to impress his lady love.
Conan became more popular only after Howard's death.

Stone Henge is neolithic, some 5-800 years before those bronze age causeways were built. The neolithic was very pacifist, the bronze age not so much.

Fantasy kino thread?

Attached: The Golden Voyage of Sinbad6.webm (900x540, 2.76M)

Because Conan is racist as fuck. Read "The Vale of Lost Women"

the tallheim death pits is what i'm refering to
sticks, stones and broken bones, ancient scandinavia is by douglas price is a good read but focus on scandinavia up till the vikings. pic related ar some later stoneage weapon from the cordedware culture(indo-european chads)
yeah but theories like that dumb nigger here is being disproven all the time, sorry dude but there are plenty of neolithic causeway enclosures found all over Europe

Attached: battle-ax-culture-8049.jpg (336x480, 57K)

Nah. He didn't look like a freak though unlike modern bodybuilders, Arnie was very aesthetic.

Attached: arnie conan.webm (1280x544, 2.39M)

It's not. In the commentary either Arnold or Julius says they stole the kata after his rebirth from a western. I guess when the guy in the western recovers from an injury he's practicing his gunplay and that's where this scene gets its inspiration

you might want to look at carbon dates and the straigraphic data for them, but typical causeway enclosures are bronze age. A big giveaway is that the larger ones were built with stone walls, neolithic structures were nearly always earthen and never had stone structures in them.

>coincidence

Howard intentionally came up with names connected to real cultures. He wanted the audience to know what he was doing. Asgard? There is no ambiguity there. The readers suppose to get a mental picture of a familiar culture and time period.

If you wanna hear Howard really jerkoff with the Aryan stuff read “children of the night” or “The Valley if the Worm.”

the more found out about the farming cultures of old europe the more advanced they seem to be
like the step from hunter gatherer society to civilazation seem to have gone very fast

Lmao. How are people this dumb allowed to vote?

Conan stories were his biggest money makers. Which is why the vary in quality and why they were the most prolific of his work.

ex cons can't vote

Except Conan is explicitly set before the ice age (pre 10,000 BC) and the setting's society is modelled on the middle ages. It's fantasy and is nothing like the late bronze age collapse of the 1100s BC.

look here asshole, there are enclosures from the bronze age no ones arguing about that, but my post and essay is strictly about the neolithic ones
and what they were used for, there have been signs that some have been attacked with flint arrowheads found in the place where the walls have been, in enclosures found the late neolithic in sweden there have been found polished large battle axes from the pitted ware culture among the structures, sign of battle who knows, so stfu with your bronze age enclosures, apples and oranges

What was the bronze age collapse like?

Back to Yea Forums. We're discussing the movie here. The movie is nothing like the middle ages. It's inspired by the bronze age collapse

detroit

trying to characterise an entire age on spurious evidence from a handful of sites hardly changes the fact that compared to all subsequent millennia the neolithic was notably peaceful, and that both defensive structures and evidence of warfare is extremely sparse across the entire 4-5000 year period. I don't claim to know about Sweden, but in Britain nearly all causeway enclosures are Bronze age and claims for neolithic ones have yet to be proven.

Ex cons would know he's on gear. There's plenty of that in the slammer.

Goblekli Tepe has pissed all over previous assumptions about the timeline of civilization

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Göbekli_Tepe

Conan is set after the flood which came when the ice melted, unless Howard gave specific dates. I think Kull is set in pre flood Atlantis.

Because prehistory is a rather unique time period. If youre gonna do sword and sorcery, why not do your own world rather than ours?
I'd prefer more prehistory kino, but its too unique for holly wood.
>tfw we will never get Arnold in the Hour of the dragon
it hurtz
Also, Thulsa Doom was one of the original slave master magicians from the east who bred with the blacks to make stygians. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't read enough lore

Attached: hour of drago.jpg (1200x825, 178K)

it hasn't pissed on the timeline at all, it's merely pissed on our assumptions of technological progress and the great variation in technical competence across cultures. Nothing about it is unexpected for the chalcolithic, so it fits in fine.

if its bronze age i'll ignore it since i dont give a fuck about it,
>trying to characterise an entire age on spurious evidence from a handful of sites
aren't you trying to do the same by claiming they were "notably peaceful" when has humanity been notably peaceful, thats the debate aint it

Thusla Doom isn't even a Conan villain m8

thulsa dooms lore is nothing like in the films though, so no he isn't, and we don't get told who he is in the films either.

I know, but trying to combine the movie with the stories, it fits
Stone or Milius (cant remember which) says he was made to look like the last member of a dead civilization (hence the straight hair and some other stuff)
He's supposed to be a pre stygian, as he is a snake warshpper (which the stygians are) but stygians are a living race in the lore, so, he cant be that. And these people from the east were mysterious, had magic, etc. and later meshed with the blacks to create the stygians and snake warship
Read the Hyborian Age by REH

it has many elements that don't belong in the bronze age

well if it were a debate on terms of quantity of evidence you'd lose, but I'd argue the actual cultural and economic circumstances in and of themselves lent themselves to peacable cohabitation. We are talking entire communities mobilised for agriculture, when was the last time you saw farmers protesting or making war? Not until the craft specialisation of the bronze age and a true surplus economy do you get systematic violence in any scale.

youtube.com/watch?v=SX0XqoFqAmA

R.E. Howard's flood is a mythical one, and he explicitly sets the last glaciation long after Conan lived. From The Hyborian Age essay:

>For a short age Pict and Hyrkanian snarled at each other over the ruins of the world they had conquered. Then began the glacier ages, and the great Nordic drift. Before the southward moving ice-fields the northern tribes drifted, driving kindred clans before them.

Attached: Excalibur.png (1920x1080, 1.33M)

Read Thorgal

in the book, sticks stones and broken bones which sadly i dont have in my lap right now they make a significant point about the percentage of neolithic skeletons having shown trauma being quite high, they do aknowledge that much of the cracked skulls come from preasure by the earth in wich the buried.
the last time i saw farmers protesting was in france when they sprayed shit all over government buildings, i also lived around farmers many of them where violent shits who banded up to beat the fuck out of a bunch of roaches
as for the argument that no finding of neolithic enclousers in britain have yet to be proven is really retarded when i literally have books infront of me listing examples from ireland, england and isle of man

It takes influence from it, but its supposed to be pre ice age. That's why the map is so different.
I do like the setting and it makes me sad that we have almost nothing from before the collapse of the bronze age.

Attached: Excalibur (1981).webm (800x450, 1.4M)

>I'd argue the actual cultural and economic circumstances in and of themselves lent themselves to peacable cohabitation.
Are you on drugs? Man by his very nature is violent. He has always raped and pillaged for what he needs and wants. There may have been peace in certain communities, but I guarantee there were groups murdering each other all the time. War isn't a pretty thing but its one of the certainties in life.

>Not until the craft specialisation of the bronze age and a true surplus economy
longway trade with flint and amber have been proven, and craft specialisation came during the neolithic revolution, just look at the pottery and flint mines found in northern europe

kino

Arnold looks DYEL as shit in this shot.
>bloated as fuck
>no vascular
>no lats
>gyno
>404 abs not found
>no adonis belt
>pathetic delts

Yikes, is this what normies consider big?

Attached: 1558242090256s.jpg (205x246, 6K)

Milius made him slim down for this role so that he'd look more like a "warrior". Arnold was significantly bigger in Destroyer where the director had him get jacked AF for the role

phillistines came from Mediterranean and clubbed everybody in mesopotamia. Egypt survived and nobody else did.

>Milius made him slim down for this role so that he'd look more like a "warrior"
no, he lost weight when he trained cardio, horse riding and sword training
the sliming down came as an effect of not lifting for months

Then why is he still high body fat? He looks bloated as fuck and you doesn't even have a six pack.

This supposed top tier bodybuilder gets mogged by literal who instagram celebs like david laid

Attached: laid.png (435x582, 441K)

native american tribes with stone age technology went to war

It was 1982

but guess what happens if you rape and pillage pioneer farmers? There's no one left with the knowledge and manpower to tend the crops, and there is starvation.

true there was specialisation but it was within the limitations of the amounts of surplus they could produce, which wasn't sufficient to be as wasteful with it as war can be. Also there weren't many means of preserving stores for extended periods of time.

those farmers still aren't able to mobilise beyond a few months and they aren't actualy dependent on the produce in modern society. we can agree to disagree on whether there were neolithic causeways, it's a question of definitions but those neolithic examples don't seem to have been boundaries and many weren't actually for droving since they were dead ends.

Compare him to competition Arnold you autistic fuck.

Basically, following the Trojan War (alabeit less embellished than Homer's account) Greeks got home, there was famine and disease, specifically on crete. Dorians came down from the north and displaced many of the ionians. These ionians (along with the greeks on crete) left and headed east in search of new homes. With recent grave finds in and around Israel, it appears the philistines themselves were greeks. This would corroborate accounts from the bible describing the philistines armor, them being uncircumsized, using champions to fight, etc as well as the Egyptians descriptions of the sea people.
So, basically, people got home from war, things went bad, new people invaded Greece, causing greeks to flee, who went to new lands and raped and pillage and genocided, leading to a collapse of a few eastern civs

Arnie looks fine you weirdo.

It's not really similar to anything that actually happened. At all.

Ahahahahhahahahahha that dude is a twink compared to Arnold. whered you find that fag?

>There's no one left with the knowledge and manpower to tend the crops, and there is starvation.
>he doesn't understand the concept of warrior farmers which is what ancient Greece was built on
You don't seem to understand that people can do more than one thing

There's a big difference between lifting for actual strength and lifting for aesthetics

Attached: ugliestconan.png (1032x774, 1.16M)

I hope John Milius get's that king conan movie made.

go out and make some wild land farmable before winter and we'll see how much more you can achieve at the same time as digging out rocks and trees, weeding the soil, sowing it, irrigating it and harvesting the crops. Making weapons and attacking others will be at the bottom of the list when you are starving.

>Only a few powerful states, particularly Assyria, Egypt (albeit badly weakened), and Elam, survived the Bronze Age collapse

look man i aint arguing for large armies laying siege to giant fortresses, i'm arguing for these farming communities being like family clans doing some hooligan warfare where like groups of dussins maybe in rare cases hundreds banding up to do stupid shit
like stealing storage of food and these causewayed enclousers might have had a defensive purpose, since there likely wasnt siege weapons and "armies" the defensive capacity didn't need to be advanced
many of the megalithic tombs have been found by dna test to be family tombs going back generations wich supports the "clan" theory
war can happen for a bunch of reason, either pragmatic like stealing resourcses or somebody fucked someone elses woman
anyway I reject the stoneage hippie theory

Isn't he blacklisted?

>Making weapons and attacking others will be at the bottom of the list when you are starving.
or at the top, no better time to raid and steal shit from bitch niggas when your tribe is facing starvation

cuz they'd rather you a faggot than a battle hardened chad

Makes you think

Attached: 8D35C144-23A4-4F36-943D-90B3FDC57F45.jpg (670x554, 426K)

He has many interviews where he flat out says he wasn't.

>Bronze Age
>Steel swords
Wew

t. Joe Rogan

This is sad when you think about it.
Our ancestors were men that we idolize. They were metal AF, brutal, violent, etc.
Yet, they strived for comfort and peace. Now that we finally have it, we don't want it. Whats wrong with us?

>we
>us
I have no vagina

it's inspired by real life periods and population but the overall setting of Hyborea is not based on anything specific
We do need more Sword & Sorcery films though

>I have no vagina
Guess you need to dilate again fag

>we can agree to disagree on whether there were neolithic causeways
to clarify, causeways and causewayed enclosures are not the same, causewayed enclosures are palissaded enclosures with causeways within them,

>Yet, they strived for comfort and peace. Now that we finally have it, we don't want it. Whats wrong with us?

Attached: f6417036ceaa3038123bcfe98d89950cedd8c2c96083582ca5334c59861ca4ee_1.jpg (750x757, 83K)

It is explicitly stated in Arnold's biography that Milius told him to slim down. He was so swole he couldn't do swordfights properly.

this is just an extension of the noble savage myth

especially cattle herders consistently raided each other for cattle or other stuff, and any civilisation we know of that started agriculture (mesopotamia, mayans...) started to form cities asap where violence, slavery, human sacrifice and war was just a part of life. The peaceful farmers you dream of were soon victims of people with swords and horses, they usually didn't last long.

Attached: arnie-0.jpg (400x513, 106K)

>longway trade with flint
youtube.com/watch?v=IW19xASnqw8

>came into this thread to discuss Conan
>end up learning about pre-historic civilization
Neat!

As of a week ago. Arnold is still trying to complete the Conan trilogy, and he wants a Netflix director for the job.

movieweb.com/king-conan-talks-arnold-schwarzenegger-john-millius/

if the movie ends with conan walking into croms valhalla greated by sandahl bergmans valeria

>if the movie ends with conan walking into croms valhalla greated by sandahl bergmans valeria
I want a funeral pyre, and then maybe this

Too late. Perfect time for this was 2000-2006. Gladiator, Troy, 300, Kingdom of Heaven, King Conan. Now it'd just suck and no one cares about Arnie anymore. He's lost all his clout; doesn't even have any input on Terminator movies anymore.

It's almost sad when former top dogs lose their Hollywood influence. Like when that asshole snatched the reading card out of Warren Beatty's hands on stage, like a bitch.

Can't find the gif, but it was shortly before this moment. Look at the corner of Beatty's mouth as he tries to smile away the humiliation after the card snatch.

Attached: 77777777777777777777st7st.gif (720x404, 3.91M)

>findigs of human sacrifices (bog people)
>Lindow Man
>Sometime around 60 A.D., a man was led into a marsh outside Cheshire, England to be killed. He was in his mid-twenties, stood about 5’ 7’’ tall, and had a trimmed beard, mustache, and brown hair. Except for an armband made out of fox fur, he was naked. It’s likely that he was accompanied, and restrained, by two or more individuals.
>First, he received a blow from a blunt object to the top of his head, probably while he was seated, which fractured his skull. Then a cord was thrown around his neck. While he was being throttled, his throat was cut. Combined with the pressure from the noose, this would have caused a geyser of blood to erupt from the wound. Finally, he received a sharp kick to the small of his back, propelling him face-first into the waters of the bog, where, nearly two thousand years later, he was found by workers digging for peat in the Lindow Moss.
wew

sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallonflickan
>Raspberry girl aged 18- 20 belonging to the funnelbeaker culture
>died between 3105- 2935 bc
>was found face down in a bog
>by the contents in her stomach her last meal were some raspberries, she's believed to have been sacrificed but her death was likely during late summer so her sacrifice may not have been about harvest
>thot status, patrolled

moar

>Time period
>Is a fictional family world
I'm assuming you just mean ancient times

>time period
Because it wasn't set in an actual historical period. You'ld have to pay to set a story in the Hyborean Age or whatever the fuck that Robert E. Howard sword & sandal shit was set in.

What an intriguing hypothesis for the Sea Peoples. But if this were true, why did we not see more Greek language inscriptions or other signs of Greek influence in the Near East before the Hellenistic Age then?

>why did we not see more Greek language inscriptions or other signs of Greek influence in the Near East before the Hellenistic Age then?
Well, the ionian colonies in asia minor weren't really formed till later. At least per Thucydides they didn't leave till after fleeing to Athens to hide from the incoming dorians so theres a delay at least with places like miletus
Also, Greek alphabet was adopted from phoencians (per Herodotus) so Im sure that doesn't help the hunt. Greek pottery however has been found in asia minor in this time frame which may lend some creedence to my theory
I think it makes some sense as it coincides with the sea peoples and the philistines arrival in Canaan/Israel

it was milius and Doom was atlantian

What if everyone was the sea people?

dunno, but seems like the best thing that could happen to us is an alien invasion.
>get crushed in first wave
>join together and fight back
>do to space what our ancestors did to Earth

What if everyone was the sea people?

Haters, dyels and virgin incels will say he's not

The same smart people will braap and sneed any good movie discussion, FYI

Not like it matters, it's not illegal for actors to juice.

I'd also add that the Pamphylia colony in southern Anatolia and the Cypriote Greeks did survive to record their Mycenaean-spinoff languages into the classical era.
The Philistines switched to speaking Canaanite because, hey, they were surrounded by Jews, they had to. But their culture was heavily post-Mycenaean too, especially at the start.

So is Conan amusingly. Howard's pre-histroy is more a pre-pre-pre history. The Atlantians, after King Kull had come and gone, basically get fucked by several large wars as one of the first human empires and then get literally picked off by the tribal Pict culture. Scattered, they devolve into feral savages and further along, ape-men. But after a time, the ape-men evolve back into humans via continuous rape and interbreeding of their neighbors. These are the people who eventually become the savage Cemerian, Conan's stock. It's part of why the Cemerian people are all powerfully built, deviously clever and why Conan is the strongest man of his Age. Shit, in the books no horrible thing even happens to him as a child, Conan just leaves his Cemerian village because he's bored.

Conan became a King. We see him act one last adventure in incognito in Red Sonja.

>The people who built stonehenge

What the fuck you on about mate?
It has not even been proven who built it.

>howard was way ahead of his time
Actually he just based a lot on the science at the time. Unfortuntely we are just now realizing that those guys got it mostly right.

i want to know about the kitten

>It has not even been proven who built it.
isn't there DNA proof that the people that built Stonehenge were older settlers of england until some PIEs came and murdered everybody?

Arnie in Conan looks like what you expect from a warrior. Not a guy who hangs out in the gym 20 hours a day

no but he still has to work extremely hard to achieve his body

Actually. Your extremely far of the truth. Its alot more manic than that. Howard was a huge fan of history and mythology and spent almost all his time with that. The hyborean era and the era of kull were both thesises thst howard believed to be real or atleast to he based on something that was real. Basicly back in the 1920 and 30s when there were still enough historians out there to be more naive then now and pieces on Atlantis and continents before out time and shit like that were still semi believed by idiots howard read that and thought "thats awesome why isnt any one else talking about this time?". So he wrote his novels. He was an idiot. But the setting made for a damn good story.

for you

>and Doom was atlantian
No he isn't. He isn't any race in particular. The skeleton in the tomb Conan finds his sword IS Atlantean though and is like 8 feet tall.

>If you wanna hear Howard really jerkoff with the Aryan stuff read “children of the night” or “The Valley if the Worm.”
Wish I could find Marchers of Valhalla online. That's another Aryan kino story REH wrote apparently.

I miss the historic and fantasy epic wave following Gladiator and Lord of the Rings. I wish capeshit would die so this era of blockbusters could come again.

You have a warped sense of what a warrior should look like, as well as what a healthy man should look like. It's normal and healthy to have a body fat between 10-20%, even for very physically active men.
People like the one you posted live a strict life of dieting and exercising to attain that look, and even then they don't keep it on a permanent basis, they go through periods of bulking and cutting.

bump

He is a warrior not some fag model who could have his belly opened with a toothpick

He is a warrior not some fag model who could have his belly opened with a toothpick

they didn’t desire peace

Well, Conan takes place somewhere between 10,000-25,000 years ago

You've missed the discussion! Fool!

Because democracy is bullshit.

50+ hours painting and thats the pose he went with.

That's not how it works user. Bronze age means that majority of tools used were bronze, not that every single metal thing was broze.
Do you think that when bronze age transitioned to the iron age, everyone just dumped their bronze tools and weapons and made iron ones overnight? It was gradual progress.

Wrong

youtube.com/watch?v=ebRglq-CPsY

>Do you think that when bronze age transitioned to the iron age, everyone just dumped their bronze tools and weapons and made iron ones overnight?
that sounds ebin though

>tfw we'll never get a Conan cartoon from Genndy Tartakovsky

youtube.com/watch?v=V4UN616BFDA

>tfw we'll never get a Conan cartoon from Genndy Tartakovsky

youtube.com/watch?v=V4UN616BFDA

well thats what happened in mass effect 2

Kek

Just watched these. Why did Barbarian keep me enraptured like a child but Destroyer made me quit watching after 15 minutes?

Conan the Barbarian isn't deliberately camp. Conan the Destroyer is, which harms the frail magic.

If humans are the pinnacle of evolution, that means that they are perfectly adapted for an environment which is brutal, unforgiving and violent. That's where we are at home.

Fortunately we've advanced in the intelectual, moral and social spheres, but the advancement was too fast for our brains to even begin to adapt to it. We are cavemen living in concrete jungles. Of course we feel disconnected and half-asleep, and of course that once we got the peace and abundance our ancestors could merely dream of, we could only look back and desire to go back home, in a sense.

>and he wants a Netflix director for the job

Yikes. DOA

>yfw critics hated Barbarian for being too serious for a fantasy film and loved Destroyer for being a campy comedy
Fast-forward 20 years and Lord of the Rings is winning motherfucking Oscars. Fuck critics.

Destroyer is trash

Test

What a chaotic event.

Attached: ignacio-felechosa-aoe-conceptart-bronze1.jpg (1920x1127, 269K)